That '80s Show (2002) s01e06 Episode Script
Spring Break '84
1 by Carsey-Werner-mandabach l.
L.
C.
And Fox broadcasting company do you have any starship? [MOCKING HIM.]
Do you have any starship? Get out.
Oh, wait.
I like them.
Aisle 2.
What do you think? Rick Springfield's  hard to hold.
Use it or lose it? Oh, that's dr.
Drake from general hospital.
Use it.
Sorry, sis.
Only employees get to pick what goes on the wall.
It's one of the perks.
It's the only perk, and don't forget it.
Wray thorn.
Use it or lose it? Hey, wait.
W-w-w-wait.
I know that guy.
He went to high school with us! You were in band together.
That's Raymond glockhart.
Both: Suck-up glockhart! Well, he's Wray thorn now, huh? He's got himself a little gig.
Opening for the smiths on Friday? Hey, you're opening the store on Friday.
You're both in the music industry.
I'll take these three.
No, wait! Just the two.
Wait--these two.
Hey, check it out, guys.
I'm throwing it "a-Wray.
" I have to deal with This every day.
[LAUGHING.]
I know.
He's so funny.
Ooh, your card was denied.
Oh, honey, don't worry.
I'll take care of that.
Margaret! I get $50 for every maxed-out card I cut up.
Thank you for shopping at permanent record.
How can you be $1,000 in Debt? I don't know.
I pay my minimum balance every month.
Don't you realize you're paying interest on the interest? That's how they make their money.
That's not nice.
Well, it's business.
Making money off the unsuspecting.
Damn, I wish I had a piece of that action.
[TELEPHONE RINGS.]
I'll get it.
Don't answer it! Don't answer it! Roger, this is our house.
I answer the phone.
[RING.]
So, are you gonna answer it? No, I'm gonna let the machine pick it up.
[BEEP.]
Woman: This message is for Katie Howard.
Please call Karen at visa regarding an urgent matter.
Thank you.
[WHISPERS.]
Why does Karen keep calling me? [WHISPERING.]
Why are you whispering? She can't hear you.
That's right.
She can't.
I'm being paranoid.
That blue Van's been out there a long time.
Katie, just ask dad for the money.
Explain what happened.
I can't do that.
Daddy trusts me, and that means the world to me.
And I'm not gonna jeopardize that with the truth.
What if I tell dad that I wanna go on spring break, and then I use the money that he gives me to pay off my credit cards.
Didn't you drop out of school last Quarter? Yeah.
That's the part that's bothering me.
Why? You never even told him you dropped out.
So, you're saying This could work.
Of course.
I mean, what's another layer of lies and deceit among family? For you information, I have every intention of paying off my credit cards and returning to school.
And besides, I'll only do this one time, and I'll never use my credit card again, unless it's an emergency.
Like a sale at casual corner.
So, wait, when dad sees you here on spring break, you'll say, Â "Buenos Diaz, Papa.
 Estoy en cancun?" No, because I won't be here.
I'll be upstairs at Roger's.
Hey, kids.
Who wants a sandwich? It's ok, daddy.
I'll get it.
Daddy, a bunch of kids from school are going to cancun for spring break, and I was hoping maybe I could go with them.
Oh, that's cute.
All that hope.
Well, how much you need, sweetheart? Couple of thousand? No.
Let's make it an even $1,300.
No problem.
So, Katie, where you staying in Cancun? Uh the el cancun-iday inn? Don't think I know that hotel.
Is that by the ocean? Yes, it's next to the, um, Marina.
It has an excellent view of point--quit it! There you go, kitten.
Have a Bueno time.
You keep a checkbook in your bathrobe? Sometimes you have to buy stuff in the bedroom, son.
You're my idol.
'80s I'm living in the '80s '80s âÂÅ I have to push, I have to struggle âÂÅ oh Wray? Hey, I know you.
First chair trombone.
Right, Corey.
That's right.
Corey.
So, what have you been up to, man? I have an album out and, uh, I've been touring.
Really? I didn't know that.
Didn't they send you my poster? Oh, you're Wray thorn! What happened to glockhart? Did you get married? Nah, it's my manger's idea.
Oh, don't get me started on managers, 'cause so uh, are you shopping or something, or well, don't laugh, but whenever I see a record store I like to come in and see my album in the bin.
Oh, I won't laugh.
So, are you still playing music? Oh, Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm working on some tracks.
You know, just building a catalog.
I don't wanna break out too fast.
No worries there.
Who's your friend? Wray, Tuesday.
Tuesday, this is Wray.
Your hair is so cool.
Thanks.
I've heard your album.
Doesn't suck.
Oh, stop gushing.
So, uh, what's the deal with her? Tuesday? Well, she's angry, dark, spooky.
Kind of a borderline sociopath.
Yeah, she's hot.
Is she dating anyone? I'd break you, little man.
I was talking about tuesday.
I'm busy tuesday, and I said forget it.
Are you two together? Uh, no.
I mean, not that I know of.
Cool.
Uh, you know, on second thought-- what? Uhnothing.
Never mind.
Oh, this is gonna be great.
He's a dead man.
[TUESDAY LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY.]
Now, daddy, I made some casseroles, so just stick them in the oven at 350.
No problem.
Which one's the oven? Ha ha! I'm just kidding.
Go on and have fun.
It's that spinney machine, isn't it? You know, maybe I shouldn't go.
It was a bad idea.
I'm gonna give you your money back and just stay home.
No, honey, I want you to go with your friends and have a good time.
And I want to hear everything about it.
So take lots of pictures.
Pictures? Yeah, something nice.
You know, for my desk at work.
Ok! All right! Good! Now, come on.
Let me take you to the airport-- no! Um, I called for a cab.
It's waiting for me At the end of the block.
Why? Why what? Why is the cab waiting for you at the end of the block? It is? I better go.
Love you.
I really appreciate you letting me stay here.
You're not charging me, are you? [CHUCKLES.]
No.
Make yourself comfortable.
Is that a new Couch? Yeah, just got it today.
The old one wasn't working with my parachute pants.
Every time I sat down I'd slip off and end up on the floor.
Unh! Damn! It wasn't the Couch.
What is that big piece of wood for? Oh, it's my dance square.
Ha ha.
It's where I practice my moves.
Hey, hit the light.
Uhh! You're the first one to see that.
It was cool.
You wanna see it with the jacket? No, I'm good.
I came as soon as I heard.
Are you ok? Why? What did you hear? That you're staying with Roger for a week.
You should stay with me.
Roger, who did you tell? Just Troy, the bartender.
And Troy's cousin lives with my tanning coach.
Oh! You have a dance square.
You guys, this is serious.
Have either of you ever been to cancun, because I need details.
I have, and I had an ABSOLUTELY fantastic time.
I don't remember any of it.
Rt: Hey Roger, are you up there? My God.
It's my dad! I'm supposed to be in cancun.
Uh, quick.
Get in my closet.
It kind of smells like mexico.
Take your time.
What's up? Hey, Roger.
Do you have any smokes? You don't smoke.
That's because Katie doesn't let me.
But now that she's gone I was thinking of taking it up again.
Chip? They're barbecued.
The women don't let you eat these.
The women won't let you wear pants, either? Nah.
I figure while Katie's away we'll either dress or not dress.
However we feel.
Are you in? Uh, no.
Your loss.
Oh, hey, there's the paper boy.
I'm gonna go bum a smoke off of him.
Uh, he's 11.
You're right.
Kids don't share.
Stingy little son of a bitch.
Here.
Hold my chips.
I'm gonna go kick his ass.
Katie: Is he gone? Not yet.
Boy, they've been in there a long time.
Margaret, doesn't she need to get back to work? We're swamped.
I think it was really nice of you to set Wray up with tuesday.
You know, being a rock star on tour, he probably doesn't get to meet a lot of women.
While you, on the other hand, have a virtual harem.
It's none of my business.
We're not going out.
Don't you need to go into my office right this second and get those very important packing slips that are on my desk? Yeah, ok.
That'll work.
And after the show, you know, you can come backstage and we can hang.
What? Margaret needs those packing slips right away.
And suddenly we're a business? Anything else? Yeah, quit monkeying with the thermostat.
So, are we on? We're on.
Uh, I'm going to the bathroom.
Well, you can go check your shorts, but trust me, they're definitely gone.
Ok, I'm off to work.
What's this? A glass.
Exactly.
Only plastic tumblers leave the kitchenette.
Suppose the glass shatters on the dance square? Roger cuts himself.
Then what happens? Roger can't spread the magic.
Thank you.
Oh, and another thing.
The tape line in the closet-- you're over it by 2 hangers.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What happened to your head? Ah, I slipped out of a buick at work.
Rog, for safety reasons, don't you think you should give up the parachute pants? Mmm, can't do it.
Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad.
Yeah, yeah.
But what's the good? 'nuff said.
Katie, don't you think you're taking this a little too far? It's got to be believable.
Ooh, can I borrow your camera? I'm having a cancun photo session tomorrow night at el chorizo Grande.
Daddy wants pictures.
You're taking pictures in a restaurant at the mall? That is the dumbest idea I have ever heard.
Wow.
Misdirected anger.
What's wrong? Wray invited Tuesday to his concert as his date.
And what did you do? Told him to back off.
In--in my head.
Well, it beats saying nothing.
And Wray's music is terrible.
You know? How did he get to open for the smiths? Well, he took the quick road to success.
He's willing to sell out, and people that do that usually do really well.
That didn't come out right.
You know what would cheer you up? A nice club sandwich from room service.
All right, you've been out in the sun too long.
Ok? Hello, Barbara.
It's me, your ex-husband.
No, I'm not drinking.
I just called to tell you that our little girl took a little trip to mexico, and I--I just wanted to let you know.
You're welcome.
Say, could I ask you something? Do you remember our 15th wedding Anniversary? Yeah, it was nice.
Do you remember-- didn't someone give us a silver waffle Iron? Yeah.
Yeah, I thought so.
Where is it? Well, ok, I'm trying to make a grilled cheese sandwich, and the damn stove scares me.
That's right.
Hang up! What do you care if I starve? Rt, are you all right? No.
I just smoked 3 packs of cigarettes, I ate all the ice cream, and I got sucker punched by an 11-year-old kid.
Freedom is killing me.
You miss Katie, don't you? Ah, she is the glue, son.
She is the glue.
Ah, rt, can I tell you something? Sure.
Close your robe.
I can see your hall and oats.
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
[BAND SINGING IN SPANISH.]
Now I remember what I did in mexico.
I blacked out! Hey, look.
Ha ha! I love a Wicker chair.
It grabs and holds.
[GIGGLES.]
Katie, honey, shouldn't you be pacing yourself? No! My pitchers have to look authentic! Rt has a very Keen eye.
Hey! Â El conductor! This song is bringing me down! Do you know anything by bananarama? Band LEADER: 2, 3-- it's a cruel, cruel summer Ha ha! Leaving me here on my own it's a cruel, cruel summer are you getting any of this? Lookin' good! Now toss your hair back! Open your blouse a little, so it looks more real.
Now put your hands over your head like you're having a good time! Ok, now drink and Have sex with a close friend and worry about the ramifications later.
Oh! Pick me.
Pick me.
It's not gonna be anyone.
I know how those spring break flings end up.
All right.
Fine.
Maybe I'll pick up on that cute waiter with the mustache.
You're picking up a guy? I thought you were into women.
Roger, I'm bi.
And Bye.
[COUGHING.]
Corey, you're the only one here not having any fun.
We should never have invited you to cancun.
Sophia, you have no idea what I'm going through right now.
Oh, please.
You're so transparent.
You like this girl and someone else came into the picture and asked her out before you did and you didn't speak up.
You can tell all that just by looking at me? No, Katie's loaded, so she told the hostess and the hostess told the waiter, who told his brother, my colorist, who's here celebrating his 40th, who told me.
And I wish to god you would just go to that concert and tell her how you feel, so we can all start talking about something else.
Ok, sweetie? Sophia, it's more complicated than that.
No! It's not! go! [GIGGLES.]
Oh, no.
You're getting weepy-drunk.
You know something, Roger? When this vacation is over, I'm gonna straighten out my life.
Pay off my debts, go back to school and get a degree in ethics, damn it! Now walk me back to America.
I wanna go home.
[SINGING IN SPANISH.]
Katie: Daddy? Katie? Katie? I'm home.
Oh, you came back early! [SNIFFS.]
Mmm.
You still smell like nachos and Tequila.
So, how was your trip? Oh, daddy, I have to tell you the truth.
I never went to cancun.
I lied to pay off my credit cards.
I know.
Your friend Karen from visa called.
I am so sorry.
Honey, look.
Whenever you have a problem, I want you to lean on me.
You're my little girl.
After all, I'm the grown-up.
I'm the-- I'm the glue.
I promise I will never lie to you again.
Good.
And don't worry about paying me back the money.
You're already working WAY too hard in school.
Yes, I am.
Oh, Katie, I just brought your bags in from the cab.
Roger, stop your lying.
It's time to straighten out your life.
I'm going upstairs.
It's gonna be so good to be in my own bed.
I spent last night in Roger's.
Gotta go! Hold it right there, Roger! Honey, you go on up in you room and turn the music up real loud.
Ok.
Listen, rt, nothing happened.
And she has no respect for glassware.
Sit down.
Ah, hell, you got your own problems.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
What are you doing here? Weird story.
I thought r.
E.
M.
Was playing tonight, and I got here and-- lo and behold.
It's this loser.
Yeah, right.
Please don't go out with Wray.
Well, you could have said that earlier, instead of the thing with the packing slips and the thermostat.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I'm saying it now.
Please, don't go out with Wray, Because, uh, I want you to come to my garage and hear my music.
Are you asking me out? Yeah! You wanna go see a smiths concert with me? Oh, you are not calling this a date.
Yeah.
Sure, why not? I mean, we're sitting together.
I was wrong.
I said your friend's music didn't suck.
It does.
It really sucks.
Boo! You suck, Wray! Come on.
You know you want to.
Boo! You suck, Wray! Louder.
No.
Security! No! You suck, Wray! Your music is derivative! You're right.
That is kind of fun.
Get off the stage! Suck-up glockhart! Are you enjoying your honeymoon in cancun, mrs.
Sanchez? Oh, god! Mmm! I did it again! by Carsey-Werner-mandabach l.
L.
C.
L.
C.
And Fox broadcasting company do you have any starship? [MOCKING HIM.]
Do you have any starship? Get out.
Oh, wait.
I like them.
Aisle 2.
What do you think? Rick Springfield's  hard to hold.
Use it or lose it? Oh, that's dr.
Drake from general hospital.
Use it.
Sorry, sis.
Only employees get to pick what goes on the wall.
It's one of the perks.
It's the only perk, and don't forget it.
Wray thorn.
Use it or lose it? Hey, wait.
W-w-w-wait.
I know that guy.
He went to high school with us! You were in band together.
That's Raymond glockhart.
Both: Suck-up glockhart! Well, he's Wray thorn now, huh? He's got himself a little gig.
Opening for the smiths on Friday? Hey, you're opening the store on Friday.
You're both in the music industry.
I'll take these three.
No, wait! Just the two.
Wait--these two.
Hey, check it out, guys.
I'm throwing it "a-Wray.
" I have to deal with This every day.
[LAUGHING.]
I know.
He's so funny.
Ooh, your card was denied.
Oh, honey, don't worry.
I'll take care of that.
Margaret! I get $50 for every maxed-out card I cut up.
Thank you for shopping at permanent record.
How can you be $1,000 in Debt? I don't know.
I pay my minimum balance every month.
Don't you realize you're paying interest on the interest? That's how they make their money.
That's not nice.
Well, it's business.
Making money off the unsuspecting.
Damn, I wish I had a piece of that action.
[TELEPHONE RINGS.]
I'll get it.
Don't answer it! Don't answer it! Roger, this is our house.
I answer the phone.
[RING.]
So, are you gonna answer it? No, I'm gonna let the machine pick it up.
[BEEP.]
Woman: This message is for Katie Howard.
Please call Karen at visa regarding an urgent matter.
Thank you.
[WHISPERS.]
Why does Karen keep calling me? [WHISPERING.]
Why are you whispering? She can't hear you.
That's right.
She can't.
I'm being paranoid.
That blue Van's been out there a long time.
Katie, just ask dad for the money.
Explain what happened.
I can't do that.
Daddy trusts me, and that means the world to me.
And I'm not gonna jeopardize that with the truth.
What if I tell dad that I wanna go on spring break, and then I use the money that he gives me to pay off my credit cards.
Didn't you drop out of school last Quarter? Yeah.
That's the part that's bothering me.
Why? You never even told him you dropped out.
So, you're saying This could work.
Of course.
I mean, what's another layer of lies and deceit among family? For you information, I have every intention of paying off my credit cards and returning to school.
And besides, I'll only do this one time, and I'll never use my credit card again, unless it's an emergency.
Like a sale at casual corner.
So, wait, when dad sees you here on spring break, you'll say, Â "Buenos Diaz, Papa.
 Estoy en cancun?" No, because I won't be here.
I'll be upstairs at Roger's.
Hey, kids.
Who wants a sandwich? It's ok, daddy.
I'll get it.
Daddy, a bunch of kids from school are going to cancun for spring break, and I was hoping maybe I could go with them.
Oh, that's cute.
All that hope.
Well, how much you need, sweetheart? Couple of thousand? No.
Let's make it an even $1,300.
No problem.
So, Katie, where you staying in Cancun? Uh the el cancun-iday inn? Don't think I know that hotel.
Is that by the ocean? Yes, it's next to the, um, Marina.
It has an excellent view of point--quit it! There you go, kitten.
Have a Bueno time.
You keep a checkbook in your bathrobe? Sometimes you have to buy stuff in the bedroom, son.
You're my idol.
'80s I'm living in the '80s '80s âÂÅ I have to push, I have to struggle âÂÅ oh Wray? Hey, I know you.
First chair trombone.
Right, Corey.
That's right.
Corey.
So, what have you been up to, man? I have an album out and, uh, I've been touring.
Really? I didn't know that.
Didn't they send you my poster? Oh, you're Wray thorn! What happened to glockhart? Did you get married? Nah, it's my manger's idea.
Oh, don't get me started on managers, 'cause so uh, are you shopping or something, or well, don't laugh, but whenever I see a record store I like to come in and see my album in the bin.
Oh, I won't laugh.
So, are you still playing music? Oh, Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm working on some tracks.
You know, just building a catalog.
I don't wanna break out too fast.
No worries there.
Who's your friend? Wray, Tuesday.
Tuesday, this is Wray.
Your hair is so cool.
Thanks.
I've heard your album.
Doesn't suck.
Oh, stop gushing.
So, uh, what's the deal with her? Tuesday? Well, she's angry, dark, spooky.
Kind of a borderline sociopath.
Yeah, she's hot.
Is she dating anyone? I'd break you, little man.
I was talking about tuesday.
I'm busy tuesday, and I said forget it.
Are you two together? Uh, no.
I mean, not that I know of.
Cool.
Uh, you know, on second thought-- what? Uhnothing.
Never mind.
Oh, this is gonna be great.
He's a dead man.
[TUESDAY LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY.]
Now, daddy, I made some casseroles, so just stick them in the oven at 350.
No problem.
Which one's the oven? Ha ha! I'm just kidding.
Go on and have fun.
It's that spinney machine, isn't it? You know, maybe I shouldn't go.
It was a bad idea.
I'm gonna give you your money back and just stay home.
No, honey, I want you to go with your friends and have a good time.
And I want to hear everything about it.
So take lots of pictures.
Pictures? Yeah, something nice.
You know, for my desk at work.
Ok! All right! Good! Now, come on.
Let me take you to the airport-- no! Um, I called for a cab.
It's waiting for me At the end of the block.
Why? Why what? Why is the cab waiting for you at the end of the block? It is? I better go.
Love you.
I really appreciate you letting me stay here.
You're not charging me, are you? [CHUCKLES.]
No.
Make yourself comfortable.
Is that a new Couch? Yeah, just got it today.
The old one wasn't working with my parachute pants.
Every time I sat down I'd slip off and end up on the floor.
Unh! Damn! It wasn't the Couch.
What is that big piece of wood for? Oh, it's my dance square.
Ha ha.
It's where I practice my moves.
Hey, hit the light.
Uhh! You're the first one to see that.
It was cool.
You wanna see it with the jacket? No, I'm good.
I came as soon as I heard.
Are you ok? Why? What did you hear? That you're staying with Roger for a week.
You should stay with me.
Roger, who did you tell? Just Troy, the bartender.
And Troy's cousin lives with my tanning coach.
Oh! You have a dance square.
You guys, this is serious.
Have either of you ever been to cancun, because I need details.
I have, and I had an ABSOLUTELY fantastic time.
I don't remember any of it.
Rt: Hey Roger, are you up there? My God.
It's my dad! I'm supposed to be in cancun.
Uh, quick.
Get in my closet.
It kind of smells like mexico.
Take your time.
What's up? Hey, Roger.
Do you have any smokes? You don't smoke.
That's because Katie doesn't let me.
But now that she's gone I was thinking of taking it up again.
Chip? They're barbecued.
The women don't let you eat these.
The women won't let you wear pants, either? Nah.
I figure while Katie's away we'll either dress or not dress.
However we feel.
Are you in? Uh, no.
Your loss.
Oh, hey, there's the paper boy.
I'm gonna go bum a smoke off of him.
Uh, he's 11.
You're right.
Kids don't share.
Stingy little son of a bitch.
Here.
Hold my chips.
I'm gonna go kick his ass.
Katie: Is he gone? Not yet.
Boy, they've been in there a long time.
Margaret, doesn't she need to get back to work? We're swamped.
I think it was really nice of you to set Wray up with tuesday.
You know, being a rock star on tour, he probably doesn't get to meet a lot of women.
While you, on the other hand, have a virtual harem.
It's none of my business.
We're not going out.
Don't you need to go into my office right this second and get those very important packing slips that are on my desk? Yeah, ok.
That'll work.
And after the show, you know, you can come backstage and we can hang.
What? Margaret needs those packing slips right away.
And suddenly we're a business? Anything else? Yeah, quit monkeying with the thermostat.
So, are we on? We're on.
Uh, I'm going to the bathroom.
Well, you can go check your shorts, but trust me, they're definitely gone.
Ok, I'm off to work.
What's this? A glass.
Exactly.
Only plastic tumblers leave the kitchenette.
Suppose the glass shatters on the dance square? Roger cuts himself.
Then what happens? Roger can't spread the magic.
Thank you.
Oh, and another thing.
The tape line in the closet-- you're over it by 2 hangers.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What happened to your head? Ah, I slipped out of a buick at work.
Rog, for safety reasons, don't you think you should give up the parachute pants? Mmm, can't do it.
Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad.
Yeah, yeah.
But what's the good? 'nuff said.
Katie, don't you think you're taking this a little too far? It's got to be believable.
Ooh, can I borrow your camera? I'm having a cancun photo session tomorrow night at el chorizo Grande.
Daddy wants pictures.
You're taking pictures in a restaurant at the mall? That is the dumbest idea I have ever heard.
Wow.
Misdirected anger.
What's wrong? Wray invited Tuesday to his concert as his date.
And what did you do? Told him to back off.
In--in my head.
Well, it beats saying nothing.
And Wray's music is terrible.
You know? How did he get to open for the smiths? Well, he took the quick road to success.
He's willing to sell out, and people that do that usually do really well.
That didn't come out right.
You know what would cheer you up? A nice club sandwich from room service.
All right, you've been out in the sun too long.
Ok? Hello, Barbara.
It's me, your ex-husband.
No, I'm not drinking.
I just called to tell you that our little girl took a little trip to mexico, and I--I just wanted to let you know.
You're welcome.
Say, could I ask you something? Do you remember our 15th wedding Anniversary? Yeah, it was nice.
Do you remember-- didn't someone give us a silver waffle Iron? Yeah.
Yeah, I thought so.
Where is it? Well, ok, I'm trying to make a grilled cheese sandwich, and the damn stove scares me.
That's right.
Hang up! What do you care if I starve? Rt, are you all right? No.
I just smoked 3 packs of cigarettes, I ate all the ice cream, and I got sucker punched by an 11-year-old kid.
Freedom is killing me.
You miss Katie, don't you? Ah, she is the glue, son.
She is the glue.
Ah, rt, can I tell you something? Sure.
Close your robe.
I can see your hall and oats.
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
[BAND SINGING IN SPANISH.]
Now I remember what I did in mexico.
I blacked out! Hey, look.
Ha ha! I love a Wicker chair.
It grabs and holds.
[GIGGLES.]
Katie, honey, shouldn't you be pacing yourself? No! My pitchers have to look authentic! Rt has a very Keen eye.
Hey! Â El conductor! This song is bringing me down! Do you know anything by bananarama? Band LEADER: 2, 3-- it's a cruel, cruel summer Ha ha! Leaving me here on my own it's a cruel, cruel summer are you getting any of this? Lookin' good! Now toss your hair back! Open your blouse a little, so it looks more real.
Now put your hands over your head like you're having a good time! Ok, now drink and Have sex with a close friend and worry about the ramifications later.
Oh! Pick me.
Pick me.
It's not gonna be anyone.
I know how those spring break flings end up.
All right.
Fine.
Maybe I'll pick up on that cute waiter with the mustache.
You're picking up a guy? I thought you were into women.
Roger, I'm bi.
And Bye.
[COUGHING.]
Corey, you're the only one here not having any fun.
We should never have invited you to cancun.
Sophia, you have no idea what I'm going through right now.
Oh, please.
You're so transparent.
You like this girl and someone else came into the picture and asked her out before you did and you didn't speak up.
You can tell all that just by looking at me? No, Katie's loaded, so she told the hostess and the hostess told the waiter, who told his brother, my colorist, who's here celebrating his 40th, who told me.
And I wish to god you would just go to that concert and tell her how you feel, so we can all start talking about something else.
Ok, sweetie? Sophia, it's more complicated than that.
No! It's not! go! [GIGGLES.]
Oh, no.
You're getting weepy-drunk.
You know something, Roger? When this vacation is over, I'm gonna straighten out my life.
Pay off my debts, go back to school and get a degree in ethics, damn it! Now walk me back to America.
I wanna go home.
[SINGING IN SPANISH.]
Katie: Daddy? Katie? Katie? I'm home.
Oh, you came back early! [SNIFFS.]
Mmm.
You still smell like nachos and Tequila.
So, how was your trip? Oh, daddy, I have to tell you the truth.
I never went to cancun.
I lied to pay off my credit cards.
I know.
Your friend Karen from visa called.
I am so sorry.
Honey, look.
Whenever you have a problem, I want you to lean on me.
You're my little girl.
After all, I'm the grown-up.
I'm the-- I'm the glue.
I promise I will never lie to you again.
Good.
And don't worry about paying me back the money.
You're already working WAY too hard in school.
Yes, I am.
Oh, Katie, I just brought your bags in from the cab.
Roger, stop your lying.
It's time to straighten out your life.
I'm going upstairs.
It's gonna be so good to be in my own bed.
I spent last night in Roger's.
Gotta go! Hold it right there, Roger! Honey, you go on up in you room and turn the music up real loud.
Ok.
Listen, rt, nothing happened.
And she has no respect for glassware.
Sit down.
Ah, hell, you got your own problems.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
What are you doing here? Weird story.
I thought r.
E.
M.
Was playing tonight, and I got here and-- lo and behold.
It's this loser.
Yeah, right.
Please don't go out with Wray.
Well, you could have said that earlier, instead of the thing with the packing slips and the thermostat.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I'm saying it now.
Please, don't go out with Wray, Because, uh, I want you to come to my garage and hear my music.
Are you asking me out? Yeah! You wanna go see a smiths concert with me? Oh, you are not calling this a date.
Yeah.
Sure, why not? I mean, we're sitting together.
I was wrong.
I said your friend's music didn't suck.
It does.
It really sucks.
Boo! You suck, Wray! Come on.
You know you want to.
Boo! You suck, Wray! Louder.
No.
Security! No! You suck, Wray! Your music is derivative! You're right.
That is kind of fun.
Get off the stage! Suck-up glockhart! Are you enjoying your honeymoon in cancun, mrs.
Sanchez? Oh, god! Mmm! I did it again! by Carsey-Werner-mandabach l.
L.
C.