That's So Raven (2003) s01e14 Episode Script

A Dog by Any Other Name

1 So last night I'm at Burgerama and the new guy is sitting a few tables over.
You mean, the guy with the? No.
Oh, the guy with? Yes! Love him.
I know.
Hi.
He's so cute.
Oh, bye.
So, anyway I looked at him, and then he looked away and then he looked at me, and then I looked away and then we totally ignored each other.
I mean, we really connected.
Can you believe it, girl?! I got a boyfriend.
I can't wait to meet him, Rae.
Yeah, me, too.
What? Oh, oh, there he is.
Oh, snap, there he is! Him! Don't we look fabulous together? Except for that shirt, that's got to go.
Okay, I think this really needs to be said-- you don't know him! I'm telling you Hey, guys.
What's up, Amber? Hey, don't forget about my party this weekend.
I'll be there with my boyfriend, of course and Ryan's taking Lisa, and Ellie's going with Carter.
And you two can go with each other.
But you know what? That's okay.
Excuse me, Little Miss Missy, all right? But I have a boyfriend.
Oh, perfect.
And now for a reality update that guy's not your boyfriend.
And that's okay.
You know what? He is.
He's just in denial, okay? Don't worry about it.
We are going to get you a boyfriend because we are not going to that party without one, all right? Rae, what'd you see? I saw Lawler's class and one of us is getting The Seat.
Yeah, I know but I don't know which one of us it was.
Wait a minute.
We don't even have Lawler's class.
Yeah.
Lawler's taking over first period and he's starting a whole new seating chart-- come on! I cannot get The Seat, no way! Wait, let's just calm down, take a breath and approach this rationally, hmm? Is it me? Think, woman, think! It's first come, first served! Raven, run! Girl, in these shoes, this is running! Come on, now! Reservations for Raven? Thank you.
You really need to get a cell phone, all right? Thank you.
Mr.
Thomas have a seat.
People, people, please? Settle, please? Tyrell Patty, please? Pay attention, people.
Yep, that's me.
That is why punctuality is a pet peeve of mine.
I cannot say it enough.
Punctuality, punctuality, punctuality.
Hi.
Raven Baxter? Miss Baxter? Miss Baxter? Answer him! Please don't make him say your name again.
I'm so sorry.
That was so rude, Mr.
Lawler.
And may I say that science would have to be my favorite subject.
Excellent.
Too bad this is English.
Which is why you'll each be getting a copy of Oliver Twist the tragic tale of a tortured youth.
I can relate.
Miss Baxter please pass out the reading lists.
Girl, you are not going to believe this.
I just saw you with a guy! so cool I found my boyfriend at Burgerama and you are going to find yours somewhere in all this.
Raven, once again you are making way too big a deal out of this.
All you saw in your vision was me talking to some guy.
A really cute guy.
But you only saw the back of his head.
A really cute back of his head.
How do you know I even liked him? Because you did your I snorted? Big time.
We've got to find this guy.
Rae, this is crazy.
What do I care about bringing a guy to Amber's stupid party? Um, Chelse, this is bigger than the party, all right? This is the year we're going to have boyfriends together.
I found mine, and now you're going to find yours.
Okay, what are you writing? You don't have a boyfriend, okay? Read it, memorize it, eat it.
But, but, you're missing the point.
We could double-date.
I am talking parties together movies, dancing Do you mind if I eat while you nag? Fine, but don't blame me when you're all alone at Amber's party stuffing your face full of chips while I'm with my boyfriend and all you can say is "I wish I listened to Raven.
" Look, Rae, I know you mean well but I'll meet him when I meet him, okay? I'm so sorry.
Oh, it's, it's okay.
Hi.
Hi.
That's him! That's the guy, the guy! That's the guy, the guy! You even did the laugh.
Did I snort? Like a pig! Okay, okay, calm, calm.
What's his name? Well, you pulled me away before I could ask.
No, Chelse, I pulled you away before you looked like Oh, shut up! I am not.
What's up, "Splash Mountain"? You know what's worse than warm spit? Cold spit.
Hey, Eddie, you know those shirts in the lost and found that are, like, better off lost? Go find one.
Rae, he's coming over.
Rae, what do I do? Just be yourself, play hard to get and don't be all clingy.
I am not clingy.
Okay, then.
Wait, don't leave me! Girl, please.
Um, I grabbed your history book by mistake.
Oh, thanks.
Uh, look, I have History next, too.
You walking over? Um Not not right away.
Well, maybe I'll see you at lunch.
Yeah, that'd be great.
Heard it all, love that you didn't go with him.
Yeah, I just let him walk right on by didn't even budge an inch.
And totally not clingy.
That's right.
Please! See? Totally not clingy.
Pepperoni pizza.
Pipe down, Paul, and eat your pudding.
I like that.
I have that.
It was either this or a tube top.
Well, I sort of like history.
I like it, too.
I mean, I guess it's 'cause I'm really good at dates.
In-in history.
Dates in history.
So, uh what are you doing after school? Um, nothing that I could just possibly get out of.
Busy, busy, busy me.
How about tomorrow after school? Yeah, sure.
I can't rid of Sam.
No way.
Because he's my Sammy.
Yes, you are! Yes, you are my little Sammy-Whammy boy! Aw! Chelsea Chelsea! Raven wants you.
This will just take a second.
I'm sorry, just wait one minute, sorry.
What? I just had a vision that someone wants you to get rid of your dog.
No way.
Like I'd ever give up my little Sam.
Yeah? Excuse me? Well, you said my name-- Sam.
Your name's Sam? Raven, he's another little Sammy-Whammy boy.
I'm a what? Sam, she calls all her guys that.
That's her little Eddie-Weddie boy.
Uh, uh, okay, you call me that? Th-That's gotta stop.
That's gotta stop, yeah.
And, and we gotta go.
Oh, uh, I'll walk you out.
No, no, Sam, stay.
Sam sit.
Good boy! You guys, I'm supposed to meet him after school tomorrow-- what am I going to do? Every time I say his name now, I'm going to think of my dog.
Who cares if he has the same name as your dog? You know, he is so fine.
Yeah, he is cute, isn't he? This is so silly.
Hey, Sam? Don't worry, she likes you, you lucky dog.
I still can't believe I met a guy named Sam.
You know what? The party is this Saturday.
Just get over it and-and ask him to go.
Sure.
As soon as you ask your boyfriend.
You know, you'd say, "Hey, you want to go to the party Saturday night?" And then he'd say, "And you are?" Okay, listen, little Miss Missy, all right.
I spoke to my boyfriend.
We had a little conversation.
Get out.
You did? What'd he say? Let me tell you.
Okay, I called him, right, and I said He said, "Hello," and then I said "Is this Ernie's Pizza?" And then in the cutest way he said, "No.
" And then he hung up.
Girl, it was magical.
And then her father said, in the cutest way "Get off the phone.
" And she did.
And it was so magical.
Dad, this is serious, all right? This is about Amber's party.
Amber's having a party, and she didn't invite me? That is so like her.
Chelsea, look, why don't you just change your dog's name? But that's his name.
I- I can't get rid of Sam.
No way.
Because he's my Sammy.
Yes, you are! Yes, you are my little Sammy Whammy boy! Homework.
I need the computer.
Get away, maggot.
Okay, fine.
Undermine my education.
Step on the hopes and dreams our father has for his children.
Boy, I'd be happy if you just flushed.
Rae, it's not that I don't want a boyfriend.
It's just maybe this guy is not the one.
And I agree.
Chelsea Corey here.
Listen, I heard about your problem and if you need someone to talk to or watch you exercise, I'm here for you, baby.
You still wear those pajamas? You know, the ones with the bunny feet baby? Well, baby, if that's what turns you on.
Hand over the phone, worm.
Don't look at me.
The boy is good.
And my nickname isn't worm or maggot.
It's Dr.
Love.
Nickname.
Girl, nickname-- that's what we can do.
We can give him a nickname.
Then you can call him anything you want.
And for your FYI, I have Corey's spit in my ear.
Ew! Call you later.
It's not going to work, honey.
There's only one place where guys can get a good nickname.
Unfortunately, girls aren't allowed.
Where? Tell her, son.
The gym! Ooh, nice shot.
Get out here! Yeah.
Chelsea, get out here.
Yeah, yeah.
You know.
Are your draws riding up or something? No.
All right? Like this.
Come on.
Yeah.
That's it.
It's all about the shoulders.
It's all about the shoulders.
Yeah.
Yeah, you got it.
All right.
That's my boyfriend.
No, no.
Raven, no.
No.
No.
We are going to be such a cute couple once I'm a girl again.
Let's just get in the game.
Moving pick.
No moving your feet when you block.
You know that, Sam.
All right.
Okay, pick.
Nose picker.
Booger, booger, booger.
Way to go, Booger! All right, Booger.
Chelsea and Booger? Oh, sure, if you say it like that.
Okay, that's what I want to see.
Nice dunk, Sam.
Nice dunk.
Dunk, dunk, dunker, dunkey.
Way to go, dunkey! All right.
Great.
So I've gone from a dog to a donkey.
But that sounds stupid.
No, but if you say Dunk Let's have a cooler name.
No, but I'm trying to tell you.
I don't know you, do I? But, uh I do know that those sunglasses are against the rules.
It's a silly rule, but, uh do you know who made it up? No.
Me! Now, names? Uh, I'm Bill.
And, uh, I'm-I'm Bob.
Last names.
Uh, Bob? Bob Bob? Yeah, Coach, and I'm Bill Bob.
Uh, yeah, we're-we're cousins, right, Bob? Bill.
Uh, see, even we get confused.
Well, let me see if I can unconfuse you.
You're Shirts.
You're Skins.
Shirts over there, Skins over there.
Move.
All right.
All right.
Shirts, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'm a Skin, I'm a Skin.
All right, yeah, I'm a Skin.
I'm a Skin, yo.
I'm a Skin.
Yo, dawg, what's Skins? Oh, snap.
I'm a Shirt.
Yeah, I'm a Shirt.
I'm a Shirt, Shirt, Shirt, Shirt.
We Shirts, girl.
We got to get out of here.
But-but they-they were going to let me play guard.
How's the seat, D.
J.
Dribble? Yeah.
Spit for brains.
Sitting in a seat, soaked to his feet Everybody knows that the fool is dead meat We ain't joking This kid is soaking wet We ain't joking This kid is soaking! Soaking.
Whoo! Let me break it down for y'all.
All right, uh I may be sitting in the seat Soaked to my feet But this homeboy's got you beat And you can call me names Make funny faces by the dozens 'Cause you're nothing but a bunch a sad rapping cousins You think you're so smart You get Fs and Ds And your grades so low, man, you get straight Zs I may be stuck sitting through spit and spray But it don't really matter 'Cause I'm gonna get an "A"! That was all, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Yo, way to go, Eddie.
Man, you get an "A" in Lawler's class? I don't know, but it rhymed, and you know? Hey, where are you going? I got a boyfriend to meet.
If Eddie can get over being stuck with a seat I can get over a stupid name.
That's my girl.
We are so double-dating this weekend! Oh! You guys want to shoot some hoops after school today? I thought you were going to meet that girl after school.
Chelsea? Nah.
It's just not there for me.
Rae, I don't like that face.
Yeah, well I didn't like my vision.
Oh, good you're here.
Okay, I'm meeting Sam.
What do you think? you look good.
You look really good.
But you know, I was thinking um, that dating a guy with the same name as your dog you know, is really kind of bizarre.
And dating a guy you don't really know is kind of you know, bizarre er.
I was just thinking.
He is not your type.
You mean, tall and really cute? Yes, girl.
That is so last year.
Do you know what is in right now? Those little cute, short dumpy guys.
They are so cute! Your participation has positively improved Mr.
Thomas.
Thanks to my new seating plan.
Thanks, Mr.
Lawler, but, uh nature calls.
What are you two doing in the boy's bathroom? Uh, okay, uh, this is bad.
I'm out of here.
Me, too.
I don't want to be late meeting Sam.
He's not going to be there.
What? She saw it in a vision.
Well he said it just wasn't there for him.
But, like, what does he know, girl? He is crazy, 'cause you got it.
You got it all over you.
All over.
All up in there.
You got it.
Yeah.
I mean, you absolutely have it.
I Uh maybe not my it, you know, 'cause we friends and friends don't look at friends' its.
But, uh, for lots of other guys you-you definitely have it going on.
Nice try.
Bottom line is I still don't have a boyfriend.
Chelsea, did we have a good year last year? Yeah.
And did we have boyfriends? No, but what about all that stuff you said about boyfriends and double-dating? I said a lot of stuff.
I was wrong, all right? Sure, it would be fun to date someone but we don't have to date someone to have fun.
We are going to Amber's party together.
And if we find boyfriends it'll be because they're nice sweet guys who have cars.
Man this Cheryl is bad! Is this her current number? What up, dawg? I, uh, kind of like that girl you blew off.
Hope it's cool.
Uh, yeah, no problem.
Go for it.
Good.
'Cause she invited me to a Warriors/Laker game tonight, floor seats.
Her dad's tight with Kobe.
Oh, man! Oh, yeah.
Well, uh, peace out.
Rae, you were brilliant.
Yeah, well, uh, no one messes with my girl.
You doing a great job.
Perfect!
Previous EpisodeNext Episode