The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air s06e15 Episode Script

Breaking Up is Hard to Do (2)

NARRATOR: On the last Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: I'm so glad the trial is over because now we can get to all those things we've been putting off.
[PHIL CHUCKLES.]
Sounds like somebody got a little booty duty, huh, Uncle Phil? Daddy, Pemberton Modeling Agency wants me to sign with them.
Come on, Uncle Phil, this is Ashley's big chance for me to meet Naomi Campbell.
- They're talking about putting me in a show.
- A big show.
After which, all the models are gonna wanna come home with Ashley and have coffee.
Geoffrey, start making some damn coffee.
Sweetheart, I don't have time right now.
I've gotta meet with Joe Winters.
Joe Winters? Honey, you know how I feel about you going into politics.
Of course I do, sweetheart.
I'm just being polite.
That man is on thin ice.
I'll alert the fish.
You know, Phil, everything that you've been saying resonates with the people in our community.
That's why we're so thrilled that you've decided to run.
What? I want my husband back.
Vivian, this is a great opportunity.
- For whom? - For all of us.
The only thing I see is that somewhere along the way "us" became you.
And frankly, I'm not gonna take it anymore.
And what is that supposed to mean? Goodbye.
[SINGING "FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIR" THEME.]
I am having a terrible day.
John Felipe canceled my hair appointment.
Kim Cho chipped one of my nails Moishe ran out of potato latkes and I can see Jose didn't cut the grass.
Hilary, your parents just broke up.
Oh, great.
On top of it all, now I'm an orphan? Hilary, you're 27.
I know.
No one adopts anyone over 9.
PHIL: Good morning.
Way to put on the game face, Big Guy.
Hey, Uncle Phil I just want you to know that it's okay for a man to cry.
[WILL HOLDING BACK LAUGH.]
Look, kids, there's nothing to be concerned about.
Your mother and I just had a silly little misunderstanding.
She'll be back before lunch.
It's no big deal.
Well, I'd like to go on record here and now that I, for one, am not concerned.
I'm on your team, Governor Banks.
Mm.
Mm-mm-mm.
Dinner smells delicious.
What do you have in that pot? Boiling water, sir.
No one boils water like you, Geoffrey.
- Anyone check the mail? - It's on the counter, sir.
Ah, this modern communications you mail something off yesterday and it's here today.
Boy, there are all kinds of ways to keep in touch.
Any messages for me? No messages.
Why should there be? There's always someone here to answer the phone.
Any calls for me? Well, there was one.
Yes, I knew it.
So who was it? Your skirt steaks are down at the depot.
They'll be here by morning.
Hey, Uncle Phil, so how's the single life? Ha, ha, ha.
- That's not funny.
- You are so right.
- Has your Aunt Viv called? - Yeah, she called a little while ago.
[CHUCKLES.]
And what does she have to say about me, huh? [CHUCKLES.]
Nothing.
"Nothing," nothing? She didn't even mention my name? - Oh, well, yeah, she mentioned your name.
- Well, what'd she say? - Oh, yeah, it was completely out of context.
- Well, tell me.
Tell me.
Well, she said, "Did you talk to your mom back in Phil-adelphia?" Hey, come on, Uncle Phil.
I'm sure Aunt Viv is gonna be back real soon.
Dad, what if she's not home soon? Don't you think maybe she's waiting for you to go get her? Losing proposition.
Can only weaken your position.
Besides, they're in her camp.
If you want my advice, nothing says "I want you back" like jewelry.
You know, there's something to that.
Unless, of course, they're setting us up.
Well, she was upset, maybe a gift isn't a bad idea.
You know, I been a little unhappy with you too, Uncle Phil.
Yeah, you know, I been thinking about leaving.
Leave.
Glad you keep that sense of humor, Uncle Phil.
Heh.
Vivian, girl, you watching a talk show? Please, the Bulls are playing.
The Bulls? Since when are you a sports enthusiast? Child, please.
Since Michael Jordan went back to the NBA and started wearing them shorts again.
Ah! Look at those buns.
Booyah! [LAUGHING.]
Whoo! [KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
- Go away.
PHIL: Open the door, Helen.
It's Philip.
I'd give him a blast of pepper spray but I'm afraid he'd just eat it.
Let him in.
HELEN: Coming.
- Daddy.
PHIL: Ha, ha, ha.
How you doing, buddy? You having a good time here at your Aunt Helen's? Yeah.
She's teaching me all kinds of cool stuff, fat-head.
Ha, ha, ha.
Honey.
Honey, please.
You mustn't repeat things Aunt Helen tell you.
Ha, ha, ha.
Come on.
Let's go upstairs and watch the game.
Come on.
What are you doing here? I was just driving around the neighborhood.
I heard they were They had this This thing down at that place I hadn't I miss you, Vivian.
I'm sorry for not including you in my decision to enter politics.
I was wrong.
Can we just put this behind us? And I bought you a little something.
Oh, Tiffany's.
HELEN: Get it appraised! This is beautiful, Philip.
Thank you.
Now, can we just go home? I can't tell you how happy I am you're giving up politics.
I never said I was giving up politics.
- Yes, you did.
- No, I didn't.
I said I was sorry for not including you in my decision to enter politics.
I never said anything about not entering.
You came all the way down here and nothing has changed? Vivian, I know that you don't love politics, but - This is not about politics.
It's about us.
- What are you talking about? I want what I thought we've wanted all the time and now all of a sudden, you want something completely different.
Vivian, I came all the way down here, I said I was sorry, I said I was wrong.
- Now, what more do you want from me? - Right now, I want you to leave.
If I leave I'm not coming back, Vivian.
Good.
Because when I walk out that door, I'm gone.
I'm moving closer to the door, Vivian.
This is your last chance.
I mean it.
HELEN: Oh, for God's sake, would you leave already! [SIGHS.]
I think it's so romantic, Dad going to get Mom.
It's like in that movie where after a big fight, the wife stays with her sister and the next day the husband buys her something expensive and she returns home.
Hil, that's not a movie, that's what happened.
Oh, well, someone should make a movie of it.
ASHLEY: Oh, where's Mom? - Is she outside? - No.
- What, she's in the car? - I'm gonna go get her bags.
- She's not out there.
Good Lord, what did you do to her? Don't worry, Big Guy, I got you covered.
He was with me the whole time.
She's at your Aunt Helen's.
ASHLEY: Well, what happened? Nothing.
And nothing's gonna happen.
This sounds a little serious.
Can you imagine if they never got back together? Has anybody seen my hat? Where the hell is my hat? Dad? You're not hiding my hat so I have to stay home again, are you? Oh, do you really have to go to work? I'm Ionely.
Yes, Dad.
And what are you doing out of your room? I wanna hear another story.
Okay.
You wanna hear another story.
Once upon a time a little girl could've been a supermodel but her parents got divorced and she lost it all.
The end.
Wanna hear another? No.
No.
Save something for tonight.
[GRUNTS.]
Can't you stay a few more minutes? I could if the car wasn't repossessed and if I didn't have to walk to work.
Exercise would do you good.
Was that a fat joke? - Would you care for something to drink? - Yes, please.
You rang, Master Geoffrey? What took you so long? Two more, please, Philip.
- Fluff those cushions.
- Yes.
Yes.
Dust the bookshelf.
Clean the bathroom upstairs.
Shine the mirror.
Straighten the pictures.
Tidy the plants.
Get me a rose.
[MAN READING ON-SCREEN TEXT.]
For the love of God, man, shred, shred, shred.
If I could just figure out who's been leaking all this to the press.
It must be an inside job.
Geoffrey, keep shredding.
Yes, sir.
Carlton.
Oh, don't worry, Big Guy, I'm taking care of our little problem.
Our little problem? Heh, heh, heh.
Son, what were you thinking? What was I thinking? I told you everything I was doing.
You were involved every step of the way.
I have no recollection of the event in question.
No recollection? It was all for you.
Ever since Mom left, it's all been for you.
I have no recollection of the event in question.
[CARLTON GRUNTING.]
[PHIL LAUGHING.]
[GIGGLES.]
[KNOCKING.]
I just wanted to stop by and tell you that even though your parents are divorced you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
Thank you very much.
[GIGGLES.]
Now, be gone.
So, what'd you wanna ask me? Katie, look, you know, we've been dating each other for a long time now and I just wanna tell you that I've never loved anybody the way that I love you.
Katie will you marry? - Hey, what up, dawg? What it be like? I've been out traveling the world and Whoa.
Who is this lovely young lady? - Oh, Uncle Phil, this is Katie.
- Ah.
Katie, Katie, Katie.
Sexy lady.
Will's told me an awful lot about you but what he failed to tell me was you were so good-Iooking.
Heh, heh.
Yeah, well, the young brother gets convenient amnesia every once in a while.
You know what I'm saying.
Heh, heh, heh.
Hey, Uncle Phil, can I rap to you for a sec? - Oh, yeah.
Sure.
Sure.
- Excuse us, Katie.
PHIL: You stay there, baby.
Um, Uncle Phil, I'm in the middle of something important right now.
Oh! My bad.
Hey, you know.
Because Well, you know.
Let me just go on upstairs here and take a shower because I'm feeling kind of dirty.
- How about I shower with you? - Ooh.
Hey, hey, hey, Uncle Phil.
Hey, hey, hey, don't be a player hater, my brother.
Every time.
Every damn time.
Every time! - Will.
- Every time I turn around it's the same thing! - Will.
- Over and over! Uh We need to get them two back together.
Come on, come on.
Come on.
- Are you sure about this place, Will? - Sure? Come on, it's great food and grass skirts and great live entertainment.
[SINGING BADLY.]
Tall and tan and young and lovely - A girl from lpanema goes walking - He's butchering it.
[SINGING.]
And when she passes Each one she passes goes, "Ah" When she walks, she's like a samba She swings so cool and sways so gentle That when she passes Each one she passes goes, "Ooh" [LAUGHS.]
Now, that's how it's supposed to be done.
- I'm out of here.
- Wait, wait.
Wait a minute, Uncle Phil.
Now, I didn't wanna have to make the hard sell, but Excuse me.
- they got three pages worth of pork dishes up in here.
Well, since we're already here Heh, heh, heh.
I'll tell you, Viv.
I come here all the time.
They got food, entertainment and men in grass skirts.
Look at that.
Ha, ha! Come here, boy.
Come back here.
Ha, ha.
They wouldn't let me bring my leaf blower.
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Look who is here.
Oh, hey, what a small world.
It just got smaller.
Boy, are we gonna have a good time.
Whoo-whoo! I can feel the love in this room.
[HELEN LAUGHING.]
HELEN: Yeah.
You know, I don't know if it's possible or even safe to have any more fun than we're having right now, but let's give it a shot.
- Uncle Phil, how about some karaoke? - No.
Okay, fine.
That's just like you.
If it's not your idea, you don't wanna do it.
- What? - Okay, you know what? That's it.
We are getting up from this table.
- You two are gonna sit here and talk.
VIVIAN: Where are you? And I'm taking the keys.
I got the keys.
See? See? Hey? I don't hear nothing.
[MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS.]
ALL [SINGING.]
: Stop in the name of love Before you break my heart Think it over Well, I guess I could take a cab.
That's right, run right back to campaign central.
Give it a rest, Vivian.
- What's the matter, can't take the truth? - The truth is you overreacted.
I did not overreact.
You lied.
[MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS.]
CARLTON [SINGING.]
: Reunited ALL: And it feels so good Go on, kiss her, Phil, baby Reunited and it's understood Vivian, I told you I was sorry.
I don't know how many ways to say it.
I was wrong.
That's not what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about the 28 years of dreaming and waiting for when we'd be in a position to have some time to ourselves.
Now I find out it's all a lie.
Vivian, I didn't lie.
[MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS.]
[SINGING.]
Philip, you must make a pact CARLTON & HELEN: Ooh WILL: You gonna bring my Aunt Viv back - Ooh ALL: Where there is love, you'll be there WILL: Just look over your shoulders, Philip Philip, I stood behind you.
I supported you.
I rooted for you every step of the way.
But the long nights and the dinners alone and the postponed vacations were not supposed to last forever.
They won't.
Just because I'm running for political office doesn't mean I'm gonna win.
Philip, you win at everything.
Ha, ha.
Touché, you got me there.
Ha, ha, ha.
Philip, you always said that spending time with me and the family was the most important thing to you.
It is.
Why can't we have it all? Can we? Can you honestly sit there and tell me I can have my husband back, the kids can have their father back and you can serve in office all at the same time? Can you say that to me? I want to but I can't.
Look, Vivian, I didn't lie.
I want the same things that you want and maybe I did overlook a few things before I decided to run for office.
I love you.
What am I gonna do with all those campaign buttons? [PHIL CHUCKLES.]
- Come on, let's get out of here.
- Good.
- Wait.
Hold up, hold up.
Where y'all going? HELEN: Wait a minute.
Come on, we got one more number.
Yeah, come on, y'all, this is our big finish.
[MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS.]
[SINGING.]
Day-o - Day-o Ay-yay-yay-yay! Oh! - It's day-o - It's day-o Daylight come and me wanna go home Bree-ba-ba! Bree-ba-ba! CARLTON: Day-o HELEN: Day-o [WILL SQUAWKING.]
CARLTON: It's day-o - It's day-o WILL: Rasta! Ba! Daylight come and me wanna go home
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