The Last Kingdom (2015) Episode Scripts

Episode 5

1 Uhtred: My name is Uhtred, son of Uhtred.
I was born a Saxon, but stolen and raised as a Dane.
Now I find myself bound to King Alfred and bound by marriage to Wessex.
I have a Christian wife, whom I care for [Baby cries] And a child I have never seen.
I have land burdened with debt It is a substantial amount, Lord.
Alfred could remove the debt, but he has chosen not to.
and a sly servant I cannot trust.
And though I miss the ways of the Danes and their hunger for life and for battle Never cross Ubba, and never, never fight him.
fate has stirred my Saxon heart for a reason.
Horseman: Ubba and his army have returned from Ireland.
- And my fleet is where? - They left Lundene several days ago and are nearly here, Lord.
Destiny is all.
[Thunder cracks] [Horses neighing] Lord! Lord! When will you need assistance?! [Baby cries] Mildrith! - Odda? - Mildrith, thank God.
- What are you doing here? - You must come with me.
The peace is over.
We are under siege.
- Since when? - You must gather all you need and quickly.
The Danes could be here at any time.
I cannot go with you.
Yes, you can.
You must.
- If the peace is over, then what of Uhtred? - Mildrith, the Danes have broken the truce.
We have killed all the hostages given to us, and they will have done the same.
If Uhtred has survived, it can only be as a traitor, a Dane.
No.
Regardless, it is no longer safe for you here.
You must come with me.
Mildrith, I beg you, for the sake of your child.
Do not worry about us, lady! We'll get ourselves and the livestock to the hills! Get yourself clear of this place! - Anything of value, I will bury! - [Thunder rumbles] [Birds crying] Man: Don't just pull at the bugger.
You'll have it torn.
Find out what holds it.
Uhtred: How much for your horse? He's not for sale.
I'll give you twice its worth.
In silver.
- Have any washed up alive? - Not on my beach.
God's taken hundreds of the bastards.
Though it's said hundreds more have landed safely further up the shore.
Friends of yours? Uhtred: You should take your families to safety.
Ertwit.
He has your look definitely.
Little ertwit.
Little ertwit.
[Laughs] [Chuckles] Well, let's hope he does not develop my constitution, hmm? [Door opens] They are here.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
[Baby coos] - Odda? Wulfhere? - Lord.
Lord.
Difficult times, which we will face head-on.
They never rest.
Do we march as one, Lord, - or are we to split? - We are split.
You both shall ride towards the Severn river to face Ubba.
I shall ride south to face Guthrum.
Should we not all be marching to the Severn, Lord? If the first battle is won, then the Danes may not care for a second.
Wulfhere, even in victory, we can never be sure of our surviving numbers.
Some of Guthrum's ships will have made it to shore, and I cannot let him simply walk through Wessex.
He must be faced.
Odda, should either of us have luck and defeat our enemy quickly, - we will march to the other's aid.
- Yes, Lord.
Of course.
Prepare.
[Goats bleating] [Cow moos] [Oswald grunting] My God, girl.
You're a lovely field to plough.
A lovely field to plough.
Oh, better than barley.
Better than barley.
[Grunts] By God, girl! Better than barley! - Yeah! - [Screams] - Yeah! Better than barley! - [Screaming] Lord! Lord! Forgive me, Lord.
It's never happened before.
I swear it'll never happen again.
- It was the girl's idea.
- It was not.
- Uhtred: Where's my wife? - It was not my idea at - where is my wife and child? - Lord, wait.
Wait, Lord! She's with Lord Odda, the younger.
- Odda? - Yes, Lord.
He took the lady and your son.
She went willingly, Lord, to protect the child.
- My son? - Yes, Lord.
You have a son.
Handsome little man he is.
Looks like his father.
I should really take your balls for this desecration.
- Yes, lor no, Lord, please.
- I don't care for you, your wife, your children, nor your whore.
Lord, he made me do it with the promise of a coin.
It was false promise, Lord.
I have no coin.
I'll need a fresh horse, food, and drink.
Yes, Lord.
Your horse was returned.
It's in the stable.
My house is not your house.
No, Lord.
Beg your pardon, Lord.
My land is not your land.
Treat me as a fool again, and I'll kill you.
Yes, Lord.
I'll enjoy it.
I believe you would.
Leave me.
We outnumber them, I feel.
Leofric: We outnumber them if you count the farm boys and women, Lord.
- You fear them, Leofric? - I do not, though some do.
It is not about fear.
It's about strategy.
We hold the high ground.
They must come to us.
And if they decide to wait, Lord? - Why would they? - Because we are sat isolated on this high ground.
- Wulfhere: And supplies are low.
- They don't know that! [Sighs] We bide our time, hold our position.
With luck, Alfred will see off Guthrum and provide us with reinforcements.
For now, we stay put.
[Indistinct chatter] Lord.
They are gathering, and they are watching.
They have the high ground, but I do not want to wait.
So when do I attack? I'll cast the runes.
Storri, I will need a clear answer.
I will get one.
I have your answer, Lord.
Look.
This is us at the base of their hill.
They sit on top.
But that's not an advantage.
This is a feather from their camp.
Bone dry and faded.
Water runs down the hill, not up.
You have your wish, Lord.
An early attack is good.
They're weak.
They will surrender or die.
And then we move into the heart of Wessex.
Shield wall! [Horse neighs] Advance! One! Two! - Man: Horseman approaching! - Halt! [Indistinct chatter] Go and fetch Lord Odda.
The elder! It is Uhtred.
- How could he have lived? - We will ask.
Ealderman Uhtred.
We feared you had been killed.
That you were not is a miracle or something less godly.
[Grunts] - Where is she?! - What? What? Where's my wife and child?! - She she's safe! - You brought her here? - She's safe, did you not hear him? - She's safe.
- I took her to safety, nothing more.
- Mildrith is with my own wife on my land in my house, where she has lived happily in the past! Put away your dagger! Swear that you haven't laid a hand on her.
- I will do no such thing.
- Swear! Leofric: Lord? You will take your blade away from my Lord, and you will do it now.
Arseling! You have my word that neither Mildrith nor your son have been harmed.
- I swear.
Do as I ask.
- [Panting] - Treason, but what can we expect? - Enough, this infighting and argument! - Disperse, all of you! Now! - [Spectators murmur] Your wife remains my goddaughter.
You should be thanking my son, not threatening him.
Now, you come to me when your thinking is clear, and you explain to me why you are still breathing and stupid! - You are back from the dead and unchanged.
- [Panting] All you had to do was get down from your horse and ask, "have you seen my wife?" That would have been the better choice, yes.
Then young Odda wouldn't have shit himself.
[Laughter] - You've seen her? She's well? - Yes, she's well.
The child, however.
- Sickly? - Ugly.
- Like his father.
- Worse.
- With the smallest of pebbles for a penis.
- Like his father.
[Laughs] If you wish to see him for yourself, arseling, I say you leave the way you came.
I'm serious.
We are stuck on this hill.
And here, we will die.
- What does Odda say? - Odda is a decent man, but as a warrior, he has all the guile and menace of a sheep.
[Scoffs] Odda the elder: We have the ground, the slope.
I will not surrender that advantage.
But if food is scarce, Lord, - how long can we wait? - We shall find food.
We have food for how many days? - Two, three, four? - Enough time for Alfred to arrive.
You yourself have reported that the storms have taken most of Guthrum's ships.
- But not all.
- But enough, perhaps.
- So we wait, hmm? - Agreed.
For a time.
We give Alfred as much time as possible.
I will offer negotiations.
While these negotiations are taking place, we will send out hunting parties several.
Alfred will come.
I'll attend these negotiations with Ubba.
You have not been invited.
It's my right.
If the other hostages were killed, - how did he survive? - He was taken as a child by the Danes, and he survived.
We would do well to follow him.
Follow him? Or listen to what he has to say, Lord, is what I meant.
Lord Ubba.
May I present the Lord Odda of Wessex.
There never seems to be a meeting that you do not attend.
- Is there more than one of you? - Lord Ubba is Alfred's most trusted general.
I don't give a shit who he is.
All he needs to do is to surrender.
There will be no surrender.
- [Chuckles] What will there be? - There will be no surrender.
Though I do invite you to return to your ships.
Guthrum may have broken the peace, but there's no need for Ubba to do likewise.
We will not be returning to our ships.
And I shall not be moving from this hill.
[Scoffs] You have no business in Wessex.
My business is to kill you.
You may try.
Guthrum's fleet is gone.
Njord reached out from the deep and dragged Guthrum's fleet down to the seabed.
You're lying.
I watched the fleet die and its men go under.
- Storri, what do you say? - Lord, I do not see for Guthrum.
I see for you.
Storri is a man who has a stick up his ass.
- He didn't see that coming, either.
- No, that's that's a lie.
It's all lies.
Look at his eyes.
You are next to die, Ubba.
- And I know it.
I cast the runes.
- That's an even bigger lie! Earl Ragnar the Fearless is with the gods, and they're angry at you.
You allow his death to go unpunished.
Avenging Earl Ragnar is not my business! That's for his son.
- You're next to die, Ubba.
- [Screams] Then fight me! And you'll see who is next to die.
- Fight me! - Lord, we're negotiating.
You will not say another word.
- He will not say another word.
- He will not, no.
Best not.
I will not say another word.
Talking is over.
You piece of weasel shit.
Storri.
Storri! [Sighs] What now, huh? - Where are we left standing, in shit? - Now we have time.
How? If it's possible, you've made them want to kill us even more.
We should attack.
Odda the elder: My men are good men.
Though half of them are armed only with reaping hooks, they're here.
Reaping hooks can kill.
- How well do you know Ubba? - I've known Ubba since I was 11 years old.
[Sighs] He's the greatest warrior I've ever seen.
But he's cautious.
He listens to the gods always.
I goaded him only to make him doubt.
It will take a little while for the doubt to clear.
You have your time, but I say again, we should attack.
We attack, we'll be outflanked.
My men will die all of them.
I know each of them.
I'd hoped this hill and Alfred might save them us.
What if we were able to outflank the Danes? - How? - We burn their ships.
Even if it's just three or four, they'd be running to the fire.
- Then we attack.
- They'll be disorganized.
No shield wall.
We could be killing them before they know we're there.
- Who would set the fires? - I will.
Alone.
But I'll need your word that you will attack as soon as the fires have taken hold.
You have it.
If we succeed, Lord, you'll have saved Wessex.
Odda the younger: If he succeeds, fires the ships, it will undoubtedly cause panic amongst the Danes.
Which is the aim.
How best do we use that panic? Is an attack likely to be successful? Would it not be better to escape this hill? We could return to Winchester without the loss of a single man.
Excepting Uhtred.
Father.
If what Uhtred says about the storm is true, and Guthrum's fleet is all but destroyed, we would join forces with Alfred.
We may well meet him on the road.
Then we are all against Ubba.
As a strategy, it makes sense.
I gave him my word.
He will die, and you can call him a hero.
The others are here.
You must decide what you will tell them.
I have called for you to tell you to read your men, all men, everyone.
We shall be moving soon.
- Moving, Lord? - Ealderman Uhtred has volunteered himself to distract the Danes.
He will endeavor to set alight a number of their ships.
- He has gone? - Yes.
- Alone? - Yes.
If he should succeed in causing this distraction, we will move.
- In which direction, Lord? - Ready your men.
Tell them nothing.
Lord Odda, with respect, - you told us nothing.
- I've told you to ready your men.
- Ready for battle? - Ready your men, each of you.
Odda the younger: Go.
Prepare.
[Laughter] I see nothing on the river.
- It will soon be first light.
- Can you not speak? [Dog barks in distance] Very well.
Ships afire! Ships afire! - Man: What's going on? - Fetch buckets and barrels! [Indistinct shouting] Lord Odda, we are ready.
But to do what? [Indistinct shouting in distance] He's done it.
Look.
He's fired the ships.
We attack! Lord? Lord, you awake? - Lord? - What? - The ships have been fired.
- Oh! - It's him.
I know it.
- Yes.
You saw them dying on the hill.
- Did you not see a fire? - I told you.
I can only see what the runes allow.
- How many ships burn? - I don't know.
Many.
They are planning something.
They must be.
[Indistinct shouting] Lord? There.
That's him.
You! Uhtred ragnarson! You! Are you afraid of me? Man on man! I will make the square! Will you fight me?! Are you the son of Ragnar the Fearless? Or are you a coward?! I will fight you, Ubba, if that's what you want, but you will die.
Fetch him a shield.
You're half-naked, Lord.
You might catch chill.
This will not take long.
Was it you the fires? Must have been the gods.
They're angry with you.
- First blood or to the death? - [Screams] [All scream] [Crowd chanting] [Screaming] Get up.
Get up! [Screams] - You Saxon! - [Screams] [Grunting] [Crowd shouting] [Screams] [Screams] [Panting] Go to Valhalla, Lord.
[Grunts] [Swords unsheathing] Leofric: Shield wall! - Now kill the bastards! - [All shouting] [Panting] Bind them tightly.
If any object, march them into the river! Get this inside your belly, arseling.
[Sighs] God knows you deserve it.
Mm.
Lord Odda is hurt.
Badly.
He kept his word.
He would.
He's a good man.
A good ealderman.
I want Ubba buried with his axe.
His axe is gone.
Young Odda wants him cut into pieces.
No, that can't happen.
He would have done the same to him.
He is Ubba as close as the Danes will ever come to a King.
I'll see he's buried.
You you have a task ahead.
You go directly to Alfred, and you kneel at his feet and tell the bastard you have saved Wessex.
No, I'll go to Mildrith.
If you don't do it, some other bugger will.
And there will be reward.
Men have seen it.
They know what I have done.
Let them tell Alfred.
I need to see my son.
You're a turd.
Uhtred: Lord.
I want to thank you for not abandoning me.
I know that would have been a choice a reasonable choice.
[Grunts weakly] I'll go to your estate now to see Mildrith and my son.
[Breathing shallowly] You served Alfred well today.
Thank you, Lord.
[Twig snaps] Who's there?! [Leaves crunching] [Gasps] [Chuckles] Forgive me.
You looked too beautiful to disturb.
[Chuckles] You may disturb me Immediately.
Mildrith: Uhtred, son of Uhtred.
Who is the son of another Uhtred and another.
He has a kingdom to inherit.
I'll see that it happens.
Tomorrow or the day after, we go home, and then to Winchester.
The three of us.
Yes.
Oh.
[Baby coos] I'll go to Alfred, and he will fall at my feet.
- He will? - He will.
- What? - [Chuckles] [Baby grunts] [Both laugh] He'll free us of our debt, at the very least.
And we will build a great hall and hold a feast.
I'd like that.
[Baby coos] And I'd like Uhtred to be baptized in Winchester.
Father Beocca could perform the ceremony.
He'd be pleased.
Uhtred, it's what I want.
[Sighs] God is good, Uhtred.
He kept you safe.
He brought you home to me.
My sword kept me safe.
They've not yet gone to battle.
This is good.
I alone will speak.
Alfred is to hear one clear message.
- How is the mood in the camp? - It's good, Lord.
The men are well.
- Afraid? - No, no more than usual.
I I worry that I do not inspire them, that they do not see me as a warrior.
Lord Lord, it is Odda.
What is this? Young Odda.
- You have news.
Where is your father? - He was wounded in battle.
A great battle at Cynuit, Lord.
But I have a gift for you.
Ubba is dead.
His army is defeated.
- This is this is true? - It is, Lord, two days ago.
Praise God.
Praise him.
[Exhales sharply] Well, then, Wessex is saved.
It is for a time.
Guthrum will have no choice now but to make peace.
While your father recovers, you will stand in his place.
His lands will be your hands and more.
[Both chuckle] Wessex is saved.
[Indistinct chatter] Everybody's walking to the palace.
A celebration.
Must be.
A celebration of prayers.
- [Children shouting playfully] - Woman: Stop that! I believe you did this.
Beocca: The great hall is now full! There is no more room! Please, the King thanks you all for coming, - but you need to pray here outside.
- Uhtred: Father Beocca! - The palace is full! - Father Beocca! There will be ale and food available - for everyone - Father! Uhtred? - You are here before me now? - I am, and with my child.
- Oh, God be praised, you are alive.
- Of course, I'm alive.
- Why shouldn't I be alive? - You were at Werham, a hostage.
- We thought you were dead.
- No, father, I was at Cynuit.
I fought at Cynuit.
Did they not say? I'll see Alfred now.
- What is it? - Nothing I'm sure that cannot be resolved given time.
Uhtred! - I'll see Alfred.
- No, Uhtred, Alfred is at peace! Uhtred, please! Uhtred! Uhtred, your sword! [Doors slam] Forgive me, but I am told that you believe me dead? Uhtred, this is not the time.
Father Beocca here believed me dead, and yet, just days ago, I was at Cynuit with Lord Odda.
It was Lord Odda and I who devised our battle plan.
- Did the boy not say? - Uhtred, stop now.
Perhaps you'd like to speak now.
Odda, you will say nothing.
Perhaps you'd like to describe Ubba's death.
Lord, I would like to invite the ealderman here to join us in giving thanks and prayer.
Giving thanks? For what? For victory? For the death of the pagan? - Who do you think killed the pagan? - I cannot save you.
I fought Ubba, man on man, and I killed him! It was his axe against my sword! - This sword! - [Swords unsheathing] - Is there any man here who will deny it? - Alfred: Be still.
Everyone, be still, and be silent.
I have heard enough.
You have said enough.
This is not seemly.
Now sheath your sword, - and remember where you stand.
Lord, what I'm saying to you you have broken my peace.
You have broken the peace of Christ, and you have brought weapons into a sacred place.
- Lord, I'm telling you the truth.
- You will go directly to the courtyard, and you will wait for me to pass judgment! Judgment? For what? - I've done nothing wrong.
- You will be quiet! [Doors close] We will We will continue with a moment of silence to help find the peace once more.
This interruption cannot be allowed to go unpunished.
It must be death.
Peace be with you, my dear.
Why are you unable to reason, - to show patience? - All I expect is justice.
- But it comes to those who have faith.
- Now is not the time to talk of faith.
Now is precisely the time.
Now is when it's needed.
I'll have none of it.
You're too ready with anger.
There's a bad spirit within you that needs to be exorcised.
You should look to God.
I'll pray for you.
- Humility is what you need.
- What I need, woman, is justice! [Keys clack] [Snoring] Ohh! - [Sighs] You sober? - Delicate.
You are to grovel.
[Groans] - What, again? - With me.
All I did was abscond from a monastery.
Ealderman Wulfhere.
You know this wretch, I believe.
We've met.
The King has sent me to punish you along with Aethelwold here.
What his wife would like is for me to pull your guts through your smelly ass.
Aelswith is forever inventive.
Lady, you are to go to Aelswith for comfort.
She waits in the chapel.
Do you know what the punishment is - for drawing your sword before the King? - A fine.
- Payable to the church, no doubt.
- Death.
But Alfred is feeling merciful.
You will not dangle not today.
He wants your assurance you will keep the peace.
- What peace? - His peace, you fool.
It does not matter a gnat's dick that you killed Ubba.
What matters is that Odda the younger has claimed the credit.
Should his father die from his wounds, Odda becomes one of the richest men in Wessex, and men will want to praise his bravery.
My bravery.
Not a gnat's dick.
The sun now shines from Odda the younger's arsehole, and it is blinding.
Do you understand me? Good.
You are to do penance.
- I'm to do what? - Aethelwold: Grovel.
You are to dress like a girl, go on your knees, and be humiliated.
I won't grovel.
Then Aelswith gets her wish, and I'll pull your guts through your arse.
Which will it be? On your knees.
[Crowd laughing] Now you will crawl all the way to the palace where you will kiss the cross and lie flat down on your face.
- And then what? - God and the King will forgive you.
Go.
[Indistinct shouting, laughter] Go! [Screams] [Laughter] I will lead.
But you owe me.
- What? - Oh! Oh, Lord, I am a sinner! - Do not look at me! - You are! I am a sinner, Lord, as big a sinner as you will ever see! I have known women, Lord, - lots and lots of women! - Man: Lucky bugger.
[Laughter] Women of all sizes.
The big tits, small tits.
I have squeezed and kissed them all.
I have rested my head on the bosoms of beautiful, but bad, bad women, Lord.
Forgive me! I have lost count of the number of women I have had, but I know it is exactly half the number of tits I have caressed.
[Laughter] Oh, God, I love tits! Send me an angel, Lord! - So you can hump her?! - [Laughter] A a titless angel to guide me! No more servant girls in my bedchamber, Lord.
Please.
I beg you.
[Cheers and applause] You must lay flat, kiss the cross.
Kiss my arse.
You and your God.
Uhtred.
- Uhtred, stop! - We're leaving this place.
We can't.
We're leaving.
Collect your belongings.
It'll be dark soon, and there's the baptism.
It's important.
My son will not be baptized.
No priest will whisper lies and deceit into his ears - and half-drown him in water.
- Stop it.
Stop it.
You're just angry! - He will be a pagan, like his father! - Shh! - Why are you saying this? - We'll stay tonight, no longer.
I'll find you in the morning.
- Where are you going? - Drinking and whoring.
I love tits! [Laughter] And we appreciate the finer points of the tit.
The smaller tits, the manageable tit, the pert, eager, delighted tit.
The soft, enveloping tit, the tit that makes you feel at home.
How are your knees? I can't laugh about it.
There's no justice here.
Only the church.
You knew that.
[Liquid splashes] I hear you're young Odda's man now.
I'm passed from father to son, yes, like the land.
I can't stay in Wessex.
You have a wife, a child you could not wait to see.
Where would you go? Odda is afraid that you will kill him.
Tell him I might.
Tell him each night before he goes to bed.
[Chuckles] I need to find wealth, but here, it's impossible.
The Danes, they would see it and take it.
Then that is what we do.
We become Danes, and we plunder.
Men will follow you.
Those men we have schooled, others who were at Cynuit, they will follow you.
- You're saying that we raid? - We find wealth, and we take it.
- Here in Wessex? - No.
You do not shit at your own table.
Cornwalum.
We take it from the Britons.
Do not say yes.
Not yet.
Think.
I'll do the same.
But why should Odda be rewarded and not us? Lord.
Welcome.
I was not expecting you home so soon.
- Did the baptism go well? - That's a fine tree.
- Good day, lady.
- A miserable day.
- Where was it felled, this tree? - On the top Ridge, Lord.
- On my land? - Yes, Lord.
I'm taking it to Wigulf's mill for splitting.
- He buys it? - He splits it, Lord.
We need we need timber for repairs.
- He takes his payments in split wood.
- We need timber, - why not split it ourselves? - Wigulf's always done it, Lord.
So if I go to Wigulf, he'll tell me how many such trees he has split, and you'll show me the timber? How much is a tree like this worth? - 8, 9 shillings? - I'm not certain, Lord.
- How much does he pay you for my timber? - Lord, it is one tree.
- How much does he pay you? - Lady, please.
How much does he pay you for my timber? - Mildrith: Uhtred, no! - You be quiet! Uhtred! - [Horse whinnies] - Uhtred! [Gasps] [Panting] That was justice.