The West Wing s02e09 Episode Script
Galileo
Previously on The West Wing: -Can I ask? -Am I a hooker? -Which kid is Leo McGarry's daughter? -That would be me.
You told our boss's daughter you slept with a call girl? She was putting herself through school under Iess-than-good circumstances.
Way to go, Laurie.
It took three hours to confirm there was a picture.
-You've got an itch for Sam Seaborn.
-I do not.
-A Iittle itch.
-You're asking me out.
There will be under no circumstances sex at the end of the evening.
-There's a concern.
-C.
J.
doesn't know anything.
Excuse me, I need to go Iook Iike an idiot.
-Galileo 5.
-Yes, sir.
-Just the name.
-Galileo 5.
-You can feel the adventure.
-Indeed.
NASA's great at naming things.
Mercury.
Apollo.
Atlantis.
-Sea of T ranquility.
Ocean of Storms.
-Good names.
First time I heard Galileo 5, the way the imagination immediately-- It reminded me of the way folks in my generation felt when we heard "Yellow Submarine.
" We really did wanna Iive in a yellow submarine.
I can't believe they gave you driver's Iicenses.
-Where are we going? -Mars briefing rehearsal.
-Why? -T o rehearse.
-Say the name.
-I said it.
Say it again.
Your imagination, Iike a child will explode with unrestrained possibilities for adventure.
-Galileo 5.
-You didn't say it right.
-I said it fine.
-Say it again.
-Who wrote this intro? -I did.
You from NASA Public Affairs? You mind if I give it a polish? -Is there a problem? -Mind if I change it? I'd prefer you didn't.
Public Affairs cleared the text.
-I'd prefer if the president change it.
-That's kind of what he pays me to do.
Look, I don't wanna step on your toes.
We're both writers.
I suppose, if we broaden the definition to those who can spell.
Excuse me? -Good morning.
-Good morning.
-They' re from NASA Public Affairs.
-How you doing? We' re gonna run through the drill for tomorrow morning.
First of all, you'II be flanked by FIight Operations Manager David Narakawa and NASA Chief Administrator Dr.
Peter Jobson.
On either side of them will be Dr.
Samuel Thurman of the Meteorite Analysis T eam from the Johnson Space Center and Dr.
Joyce-Grey Sutton, planetary geologist from Cal State Northridge.
On these monitors you'II see the images beamed back from the surface and on this computer screen you'II be able to read the kids' questions.
-I strongly urge you-- -Yes, I know.
I strongly urge you to act as moderator and pass questions off to the experts on the panel - rather than answer it yourself.
-Yes.
-Would you Iike to see the questions? -We have the questions? -Some.
Would you put them up? -Sure.
Katie, a sixth-grader at Green Oaks Junior High School Austin, T exas, asks " How old is the planet Mars? " That's a great question, Katie.
The planet Mars is 4.
6 billion years old.
-What did I say? -I knew that one.
-Nobody Iikes a know-it-all.
-Yes, God forbid that while talking to 60,000 students, the president should appear smart.
-That's fine.
Just don't show off.
-I don't show off.
Stevie, fourth-grader, P S.
31, Manhattan, asks: "What is the temperature on Mars? " Stevie, if one of our expert panelists were here they would tell you the temperature ranges from 1 5 degrees to minus 1 40.
That happens to be wrong.
It ranges from 60 to minus 225.
I converted it to Celsius in my head.
Thank you.
-Can I see the intro? -It's up on the prompter.
"Good morning.
I'm speaking to you Iive from the west wing of the White House.
T oday, we have a very unique opportunity to take part Iive in an extremely historic event which-- Whoa, boy.
-How you doing? -Who wrote this intro? I did, sir.
I' m Scott T ate from NASA Public Affairs.
Scott, unique means "one of a kind.
" Something can't be very unique.
Nor can it be extremely historic.
Do we have to use "Iive" twice in the first two sentences Iike we just cracked the technology? We' re also broadcasting in color, right? -Sam? -Yeah.
-He's gonna make changes.
-You gonna clear them with me? I doubt it.
Write this: "Good morning, 1 1 months ago, a 1 200-pound spacecraft blasted off from Cape Canaveral, FIorida.
Eighteen hours ago--" -Is it 1 8 hours ago? -Yeah.
"Eighteen hours ago, it Ianded on the planet Mars.
You, me and 60,000 of your fellow students across the country along with astro-scientists and engineers from the Jet Propulsion Lab in California NASA Houston, and right here at the White House are gonna be the first to see what it sees and to chronicle the extraordinary voyage of an unmanned ship called Galileo 5.
He said it right.
I don't understand how if it's noon in the East and 9:00 Pacific how it's 2:37 on Mars.
Well, Mars is a different time zone.
Yeah, it's the 37 minutes I was-- Mars rotates on its own axis once every 24 hours and 37 minutes.
Have you seen this morning's news report? -About the green beans? -I didn't see anything about that.
The Milwaukee Journal is quoting an unnamed source as saying the president doesn't Iike green beans.
That's a pretty slow news day in Milwaukee.
-Josh.
-It's not gonna be a thing.
You guys done? Walk me out.
-Ask me how Iong a Martian day is.
-No, I don't think I will.
Toby, do you know how a stamp is chosen? -A stamp? -Yeah.
-You'II Iearn.
-Why? -The postmaster general needs your help.
-Why? The Citizens' Stamp Advisory Committee-- There's a Citizens' Stamp Advisory Committee? Made up of members of the "There But for the Grace of God Go I " club.
You wanna mock people or Iet me talk to T oby? I wanna mock people.
The Citizens' Stamp Advisory Committee has recommended to the postmaster that Marcus Aquino be put on the next issue.
-You know who he is? -No.
He's a former resident commissioner of Puerto Rico and a Korean War hero.
-What's the problem? -He advocated statehood, right? -Strongly advocated it.
-Give it to somebody else.
-No.
-PIease? This is a public face thing.
The postmaster general wants your help.
Well, he can wait in a Iine around the block while two of my 20 teller windows are open.
Make a recommendation by the end of the day.
-What are you smiling at? -Nothing.
I just.
T oby got the stamp assignment.
-Leo, I might need some help.
-T ake Josh.
Thanks.
Congratulations.
You're choosing the next stamp.
Wow, that happened fast.
-687 days? -Yeah.
-Hey, Carol.
-Hey, T oby.
A Martian year is 687 days.
Yes.
Did you see this morning's news report? -I'm boning up my Mars.
-C.
J.
? He thinks he's so smart, just because he's so smart.
-Did you see this morning's--? -I highlighted your copy.
You didn't highlight the green beans story.
I thought it best to alert the Justice Department.
-"An unnamed White House source.
" -I read the story.
I didn't highlight it.
You don't think this'II get picked up? Why not? -It's not a story.
-See me in three hours.
-It's not a story.
-See me in three hours.
-How many moons does Mars have? -Two.
Phobos and Deimos.
-Get out.
-Three hours.
-Carol? -Yeah? She wants information on green beans.
-You have work? -I'm picking a stamp.
Nobody Iikes people who know everything.
-So I've discovered in my Iife.
-Get me information on green beans.
The afternoon is blocked off for budget meetings.
3:00, HUD.
-Good afternoon, Mr.
President.
-Yeah.
What else? got phone calls from 5:30 to 6:30.
Okay, but then, Iet's bring the curtain down.
I've got a great night planned.
I've got two books on Mars and a book on Galileo himself.
I'm gonna go to the residence and read.
Mrs.
Landingham.
-Yes, sir? -Nothing after 6:30.
I'm gonna go read about Mars which, while colder and drier, has four Earth-Iike seasons.
No, sir.
-It does.
-I'm sure you're right.
I'm saying, no, you won't be reading tonight.
-You're attending a concert.
-Since when? Mr.
McGarry's office put it on your schedule.
-Get me Leo.
-I was about to tell you.
-It's important that you go.
-T o a concert? -Did Buddy Holly come back? -It's the Reykjavik Symphony Orchestra.
The Reykjavik Symphony Orchestra? Leo?! -It's in Iceland.
-I know where Reykjavik is.
-I wish I was there right now.
-Yes, Mr.
President? -The Reykjavik Symphony Orchestra? -I hear they' re pretty good.
-Why do I--? -You canceled yesterday's meeting -with the Icelandic ambassador.
-I' m being punished? No.
Iceland is considering defying the ban on whale hunting imposed by the International Whaling Commission.
They're in danger of joining Norway and Japan.
There's a Iucrative international demand for fresh Icelandic minke whale meat.
-Is this a joke? -No, sir.
The State Department and the Fisheries subdivision of the Department of Agriculture feel we should avoid offending Iceland.
-Which we did by canceling the meeting.
-Apparently.
So to make up for it, I' m going to see the Reykjavik Symphony.
-Yes, sir.
-With Ambassador? Vigdis OIafsdottir.
-Okay.
-He's very excited to meet you.
I'II give you $1 000 if you don't make me go.
-Think of the whales.
-Do they vote? Mr.
President? Intelligence briefing.
-Send them in.
-This might be something.
-Why? -There was an explosion in a Russian oil refinery.
-Good afternoon.
-Hey, Jack.
-Charlie? -Yes, sir.
Gentlemen, please.
-There was an explosion? -IT AR-T ASS is reporting that there's a fire burning in an oil refinery in Kozelsk.
-It's in the oblast region? -Yeah.
-What's the problem, Jack? -There is no oil refinery in Kozelsk.
Oh, man.
The closest oil refinery is about 20 kilometers southeast.
It's not a refinery fire? -It's a missile silo.
-There was an explosion in a missile silo? We can't confirm that at this point but the Russians have 20 SS-1 9's in the quadrant.
Keyhole has pictures of a column of smoke emergency personnel on the ground, but no burning structure.
Certainly no oil refinery.
If a missile exploded, is it possible it was armed? Was there a warhead? -We can have a briefing in an hour.
-Half-hour, Jack.
-Thank you.
-Thank you, sir.
Did they think we weren't gonna see it, Leo? It's a Cold War mentality.
If they ask, we could help.
I wouldn't wait for the phone to ring.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Galileo Galilei.
He sat in a cathedral in Pisa.
He watched a Iamp suspended from the ceiling as it oscillated back and forth.
He used his pulse to keep time and discovered that the period of oscillation was independent of the size of the arc.
Years Iater, he contradicted the theory that a heavier body falls faster than a Iighter one which took some guts back in 1 609 when you consider that the theory he was contradicting was Aristotle's.
You want a broader theme for the classroom? Charlie? I really do.
Have Sam and C.
J.
come tonight.
-I'II be in my office.
-Thanks.
-Yes, sir.
-He contradicted Aristotle, Charlie.
-He saw the rings on Saturn? -Yes, he did.
-Did you need something, sir? -Yes.
What's next? Deputy Secretary Hallis and the T rap Commission.
They' re meeting in the Map Room.
The process by which a postage stamp enters into circulation - begins with the American public.
-What? -Are you even Iistening? -No.
-Do you wanna do this? -I don't.
-I did index cards.
-How many? -Eighty-seven.
-Reduce it to three.
-Philately's fun, Josh.
-I'm sorry, what's fun? -Philately.
Stamp collecting.
-Be careful how you say that word-- -Can I work? -T ell me what you know.
The process by which a stamp enters into circulation begins with the public.
That's always our first mistake.
Proposals are submitted to the Citizens' Stamp Advisory Committee -the acronym for which is-- -Dork Squad.
C-SAC.
The committee then makes a recommendation to the postmaster general, in this case, Marcus Aquino.
He won the Silver Star for service in Korea.
There are numerous instances of valor and actions above and beyond the call.
As Puerto Rico's resident commissioner he served Congress faithfully and well.
-Let's put him on a stamp.
-Let's put you on a stamp.
-Okay.
-Let's talk about the problem.
T oby.
-Two hours and 20 minutes.
-Yes.
Let me say first -you were right and I was wrong.
-The oddsmakers take a beating.
When I said nobody would pick it up? Everybody's picked it up.
And when I said even if they did, it wouldn't be a big deal? It's a bit of a deal.
Know where? -In Oregon? -In Oregon.
You know why? They're a major producer of green beans? They're a huge producer, Toby.
Green beans, or snap beans, represent a significant percentage of Oregon's annual revenue.
But here's the thing.
-There's an electoral problem? -There's an electoral problem.
We won Oregon by Iess than 1 0,000 votes and we'II need them.
-Yeah.
-Okay.
Well, I'm on it now.
-Good.
-So-- You know what? So it took me Ionger to figure it out.
Doesn't make you smarter than I am.
-Of course not.
-Thank you.
-My SAT scores, on the other hand-- -I've gotta spin the green bean problem.
Knock 'em dead.
-Oh, C.
J.
-I had fine SAT scores.
The president wants you to go with him tonight.
He wants to discuss a theme for the closed-circuit classroom tomorrow.
A theme? We' re Ianding a probe on Mars.
-That's the theme.
-He wants to discuss a broader theme.
-He wants Sam too.
-Who else? That's it.
Oh, Mallory's going.
You, Sam, Mallory, the president and an Icelandic delegation.
-Hang on.
-What? -I can't go.
-Why not? There'II be State Department people.
I just added a new deputy.
Most people I interviewed were from State.
The Kennedy Center's gonna be packed with people I rejected.
So is the bar at the Four Seasons.
Be there.
T ell Sam.
-Carol? -Yeah.
Have someone go to my apartment and pick up my blue Armani.
-And a pair of shoes.
-Yeah.
The president wants us to go to the concert so we can discuss broader themes for the classroom.
Great.
It should be about more than rocks and average rainfall.
-God, does it rain on Mars? -No, but I' m saying.
The White House should develop a broader theme.
That's right.
And I think it's incredible the president's asked us.
We should attack with energy due the moment.
-Mallory's gonna be there.
-I can't go.
I'd think that, faced with the privilege of attacking with energy due the moment-- Screw the moment.
I can't go.
As we used to say in my hometown, "That's just hard cheese.
" That's a real AIgonquin Round T able you grew up with.
That is, Iike, the fourth time I've been called dumb today.
I never called her after the picture of me and Laurie in the newspaper.
I never called her.
She never called me.
You haven't spoken since the picture? You didn't see her at the hospital? I mean, I did, but-- No.
She started seeing somebody.
Did I tell you not to get a crush on the boss's daughter? Yeah.
Don't you have a vegetable crisis to fix or something? -Yes.
-Okay.
The warhead didn't detonate.
The SS-1 9's had just been downloaded.
-But you're ready to confirm? -An SS-1 9 Stiletto ballistic missile blew up in its silo, yes.
-What do you think happened? -Every morning at your briefing you're told about the troubling state of the Russian military.
-You just saw evidence of it.
-Somebody screwed up.
Either somebody screwed up or a computer did.
You wanna know the truth? An early warning ballistic missile system and the troops who run it mistakenly detected a bogey from a flock of Norwegian geese.
Where are we with the Russian ambassador? She's still claiming it's an oil refinery fire.
Leo, I want you to see her as soon as she can get here.
Thank you.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
Leo? -Mike? -Yeah.
Could you have the president's NASA advisor come over? Yes, sir.
Can I tell him why? We Iost the signal from Galileo.
-It's a stamp! -Yes, but we have to remain neutral.
-It's a stamp! -I understand that it's a stamp.
When it comes to statehood for Puerto Rico, the US.
has to remain neutral.
Puerto Rico's in the United States.
Thank you for that review of fifth-grade social studies but I meant the federal government must remain neutral.
Puerto Rico's in the federal government.
They send a resident commissioner to Congress.
-Who can't vote.
That's beside the point.
-What is the point? Aquino was in favor of statehood.
T o put him on a stamp would promote his beliefs, which we can't do.
Because we have to remain neutral.
That's idiotic.
Like it's the first time.
He voiced an opinion, so he can't be on a stamp? Sides have been taken.
Former presidents.
The speaker.
The minority Ieader.
They all say statehood is in the Iong-term interest of Puerto Rico.
And that as it stands now, have been relegated to second-class status.
That's more people than Mississippi.
Mississippi's never minded being relegated to second-class status.
You' re gonna make your bigoted Mississippi jokes? -Yes, I am.
-Isn't anyone worried that they're gonna want independence? Exactly no one is worried about that.
Because Puerto Rico is absolutely dependent on US.
manufacturing which contributes 40% to the GDP and accounts for 24% of their workforce.
-People don't sit still for tyranny.
-How is it tyranny? Puerto Ricans have to register to be drafted, yet they can't vote.
They' re expected to die for a commander in chief they didn't elect? We have colonized Puerto Rico, and they will rise up against us.
-I think we can take them.
-That's what we said about the British.
-We took the British.
-You know what I' m saying.
Hardly ever.
-Josh.
-What's going on? They know it entered the Martian atmosphere at 3:01 p.
m.
Eastern.
They know it was on course, traveling at 1 5,400 miles per hour which it was supposed to.
During its descent it was also supposed to release two probes firing them deep into the ground as part of the mission's search for evidence of water under the surface.
We think if we hit the ground hard we can make it to the center of the planet and find water? That's not a theory of physics pretty much disproved by Wile E.
Coyote? The probes were supposed to send a signal back to Earth.
-We haven't gotten the signal.
-The Iast the flight control heard was 1 1 minutes before Ianding when all systems were operating normally.
Then it entered a communications blackout period and hasn't been heard from since.
I know how it feels.
-What are they trying? -The things they try.
I' m gonna give it an hour, and then tell Leo to cancel the classroom.
-Josh? -Yeah? The stamp? You were supposed to do this, you know.
-I delegated.
-Yeah.
I've got more index cards.
C.
J.
? -I'm Iate.
-Where are you going? I have to go be with people who don't Iike me.
-You can do that here.
-Sorry.
-We're Iate.
-You're going too? -The president wants to discuss themes.
-I don't think there will be a classroom.
-The president's holding out hope.
-In the meantime Mallory's gonna be there with her boyfriend and it's gonna be weird because we haven't spoken since the picture which was wrong.
But I'm not even sure there was an obligation to do that.
Let's remember, it's not Iike we were dating.
It was a flirtation.
We had one date and the rest were all with groups of people.
I don't even know what dating is anymore.
That's 20 seconds of my Iife I'II never get back.
Let's go.
Mr.
McGarry will be here in a moment.
Yes.
Are you sure I can't get you anything? No, thank you.
I'II be waiting outside, then.
If you need anything, please, don't hesitate to shout my name which is Margaret.
Yes.
The Russian ambassador's here.
I Ieft her alone, because I think I was freaking her out.
It wouldn't surprise me.
-Madame Ambassador.
-Leo.
Thank you for coming.
-You Iook handsome, Leo.
-Thank you.
-You Iook very nice yourself.
-You get more handsome every year.
And you're having your suits handmade now.
-Nadia, are you hitting on me? -I was sorry to hear about your divorce.
-You have a fire in a missile silo.
-It is an oil refinery.
These are Keyhole satellite photographs.
Would you point please to the oil refinery in these pictures? I am not in the position to comment on matters of national security.
Okay, can you tell me how an oil refinery explosion would affect national security? This should be taken up with the foreign minister.
I' m taking it up with the Russian ambassador to the United States.
Is your country ready to deny there was an explosion at Sego Silo 1 4-D? We know how to deal with these kinds of emergencies.
We have guys who train for it all the time.
Ask us for help.
-Do we know what they' re playing? -I' m sorry, sir? The Reykjavik Symphony.
Do we know what they' re playing and for how Iong? -It says, "An Evening of Modern Music.
" -T urn the car around.
"The orchestra features 90 pieces including anvils and castanets.
" -T urn the car around.
-Modern music is cool.
Modern music sucks.
Anything written after 1 860 sucks.
-"Samuel Barber.
Symphony No.
2.
" -Sucks.
-"Stravinsky.
Variations on a Theme.
" -Sucks.
-"Enlightened Night for string orchestra.
" -T otally blows.
"They'II be performing the world premiere of a piece PIayed on teapots and gefilte fish.
by a new Icelandic composer.
" He got so nervous when he heard you were coming he was rewriting the piece until 6:00.
If he wants more time, I' m happy to take a rain check.
-I thought you Iiked classical music.
-I do, but this is not classical music.
It is not classical music if the guy finished writing it this afternoon.
He's here.
Here we go.
Moving in.
-C.
J.
! -Yes, sir.
-A broader theme.
-Sam and I'II be talking about it.
I don't get many opportunities to talk to kids.
At some point, I'm gonna have to pull the plug to give enough notice.
-But Iet's Iet them work for a while.
-Yes, sir.
-Where's Sam? -He's inside hiding from Mallory.
-Why is he hiding? -Do you really wanna know? -Not at all.
-I didn't think so.
Hey, Sam.
-How you doing, Sam? -Good.
-Hey, Sam.
-Benny.
Hey, Sam.
-How you doing? -I'm good.
Good.
-And you? -Good.
Excellent.
Can I just say that I was the one who was in trouble? It was my picture in the paper and I don't know why I needed to call you and explain myself.
It was you and a call girl.
Like there aren't pictures of you and a call girl? No, there aren't any pictures of me and a call girl.
-Well, that's a crime.
-If you'd picked up the phone-- -Who's your boyfriend? -I don't think-- -What's his name? -His name is Richard Andrewchuk.
-There's a hockey player named that.
-Unless there are two.
-You're dating Richard Andrewchuk? -We're having a Iot of sex.
-You'd have to.
-What does that mean? -What the hell do you two talk about? -He happens to be terribly bright.
-Good, because he's a bad player.
-He's had injury problems.
-From falling down.
-Look, I came over here-- Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I took trombone Iessons when I was a kid.
Not much solo music written for trombone but I wanted to play in the marching band.
The thing was, my arms were too short to reach seventh position.
One afternoon during a game, I gave it all I had and ended up throwing a slide into the end zone which is more than I could say for our quarterback.
Would you excuse me just one moment? -Galileo? -No, sir, the oil refinery.
-Yeah, what? -You'II need a Pentagon briefing.
The explosion occurred while Iiquid hydrogen was being drained.
Okay.
-What about Galileo? -They' re working on it.
-Okay.
-I'II get a statement ready.
Yeah.
-Someone was draining hydrogen? -Yeah.
-Mr.
President? -Yeah? -Your box is ready.
-Thanks.
-Toby Ziegler.
-Thanks.
-You'II need to take it outside.
-Yeah.
C.
J.
? They said modern music? I thought that meant Jackson Browne.
-Jackson Browne is modern? -Used to be.
-Yeah, Iook.
-Yeah? Twice a year the kitchen staff has writers come in from food magazines.
They were in Iast week, and I mentioned to one of them.
I said the president doesn't Iike green beans.
-Why? -Because he doesn't.
-How did you say it? -What? -What question did they ask? -" Is there any food he Iikes or dislikes? " I said he Iikes steaks, Iobster, spaghetti, ice cream.
-And? -He doesn't Iike green beans.
-Did you Ieave any wiggle room? -Wiggle room? -He doesn't Iike green beans.
-We won Oregon by 1 0,000 votes.
If they have 1 0,001 green bean farmers, then we're screwed.
-C.
J.
-- -This is serious.
I'm sorry I mouthed off to a reporter, but you're crazy.
Education's a serious thing.
Crime.
Jobs.
National security.
I've been to Oregon four times, and not a single person I've met has been stupid.
Everybody's stupid in an election year.
No, everybody gets treated stupid in an election year.
AII right.
From now on, there's no food the president doesn't Iike.
-Yeah.
-I have to take this outside.
Yeah.
-Can you hear me? -Where are you? I'm out in back.
I passed Gary Saunders on the way out.
He booed me.
I swear to God, I passed by, he went, " Boo.
" Who's Gary Saunders? Deputy spokesperson at the Department of Energy.
- You didn 't hire him.
-I promoted Simon GIazer.
-I promoted from within, T oby.
-Anyway they' re hypothesizing the thing came down at an odd angle and its position might be preventing it from establishing a downlink.
They say it'll take a few days to try everything.
-Days? - Yeah.
Oh, God! If this is the worst thing that happens-- No, T ad Whitney is coming over to me.
You interviewed Tad? Oh, God, he's got me in his tractor beam.
He's walking right over.
-Goodbye.
-I' m not very good at confrontation.
-You have no problem with me.
-Is the water in the Potomac very cold? If you rub chicken fat on yourself, it'II insulate.
Don't hang up.
If it seems Iike I'm talking-- Hey, C.
J.
Yeah, okay.
We're gonna put those figures out at the morning briefing and-- Yeah.
Thank you.
What was that about? You know, I honestly couldn't tell you.
-I saw you come out.
-Yeah, there's some stuff going on.
-I didn't get the gig, huh? -I gave it to Simon GIazer.
-I heard.
-I promoted from within.
-Yeah.
-Promoting from within is very big in my family.
Yeah, I'm surprised, because I'm pretty qualified.
In fact, a Iot of people at State thought I was a Iock.
-You're very qualified.
-Yeah, and it wasn't because I'm a man.
-Well, no.
Simon GIazer's a man.
-I suppose.
Hey.
-It wasn't because I stopped seeing you? -It honestly was a matter of Simon.
No, of course, it didn't have anything to do with.
That was six weeks five years ago.
I thought you might want an explanation as to why I did.
-Why you did what? -Why I stopped calling you.
I don't need an explanation.
Believe me, it wasn't because you were bad in bed or anything Iike that.
No, I didn't think it was, T ad.
I mention it because I know a Iot of women who worry about that.
-I don't.
-You're good in bed.
I'm great in bed.
-How you doing? -C.
J.
-- I'm sorry you didn't get the job.
But there's really-- You're really gonna tell me this isn't personal? -I really am.
-I think it is.
I think it's personal and unprofessional, and people are gonna know about this.
-I think you've got a problem.
-I have a number of problems today.
You're not close to being any of them.
I was hoping we could be adult about this.
I have to go.
You're gonna get a briefing.
-On what? -A Russian missile silo.
-Listen.
-Yeah? PIaying along with this for a moment is there anything I should do to improve my chances next time around? Well, when we run for reelection, I'd vote for somebody else.
-Read the Iast part back to me.
- "The flight manager at JPL will work around the clock until hope is exhausted.
" -Okay.
-I'II give it to Carol.
- Yeah.
-Is she there? -Mallory? - Yeah.
Y eah, she's here.
She snuck up on me from behind.
You'd think women would make more noise with those high heels.
They've got this stealth thing going, which I ought to be clever enough to-- -What was that? -Nothing.
-She's there, right? -Yeah.
-How's she look? -She Iooks pretty good.
-Can you describe what she 's wearing? -Yeah.
She's standing in front of me.
-Wanna get off the phone? - Yeah.
Okay.
-You know what I think? -What? You' re caught between wanting to be mad and wanting good seats for home games.
I get pretty good seats.
I don't know if you noticed the motorcade I rode in.
I spoke to my dad.
I' m sorry about Galileo.
-They've got a Iot of tests they can try.
-How much money is it gonna cost? -Don't start with me.
-I' m asking as a taxpayer.
It cost $ 1 65 million to Iose the thing.
How much more will it cost to make sure you'II never find it? I don't know, but we won't divert municipal tax dollars which are best spent on new hockey arenas.
It's best spent feeding, housing and educating people.
There are a Iot of hungry people.
None of them are hungry none of them are colder or dumber because we went to the moon.
We went to the moon.
Do we have to go to Mars? Why? Because it's next.
Because we came out of the cave and we Iooked over the hill and we saw fire and we crossed the ocean, and we pioneered the West and we took to the sky.
The history of man is hung on a timeline of exploration, and this is what's next.
-I know.
-People Iike you who say that-- -What? -I said, I know.
-We' re supposed to be explorers.
-Then, what the hell--? -I Iike hearing you talk about it.
-You know-- -You get puffed up.
-You're a pain in the ass.
Yes.
Anyway, Iook, about the picture-- -Don't worry about it tonight.
-You're not pissed? I'm totally pissed, but I'm saying don't worry about it tonight.
-Sam? -Yeah? -I appreciate that.
Thank you.
-Yeah.
-Hey, Mal.
-Hey, C.
J.
Let me see what you got.
This will be for tonight, but doesn't include notes from JPL.
-I gotta talk to Jason Stark.
-Yeah.
-What you got there? -Precedent, baby! -Precedent? -Precedent.
The mother's milk of making your point and being right.
Okay.
The Jewish War Veterans Iobbied to get a stamp even though the criteria prohibits groups whose undertakings are religious.
Right, and what happened? The JWV argued that their achievements have been fighting wars.
Like Aquino.
-Right, and what happened? -They were denied.
-Yes.
-Okay, that doesn't help me.
Hang on! -The Iuna moth has its own stamp.
-What's a Iuna moth? You don't see the National Organization of Entomologists freaking out.
-No, but I'd pay good money to see that.
-Hang on.
-Here we go.
-These groups were issued stamps: Disabled Veterans of America.
United Confederate Veterans.
And the black soldiers who served as buffalo scouts in the West.
-You gonna get that? -I meant in the 1 9th century.
I didn't think we still had buffalo scouts.
That guy should be able to be on a stamp.
-What was that? -The president's back.
Any inspection team will have to include neutral representatives.
-Who? -The Finns.
I'II take it to the State Department, but they' re not gonna wanna accept Iimits.
No one enters our country without our approval.
-They'II agree to notification.
-I'II insist on notification and approval.
Results from the inspection will remain in the country-- -Nadia! -Leo, soil samples, carbon residue photographs and photographic negatives.
-Listen-- -That must remain under Russian control.
Your paranoia was a Iot sexier back when you guys were Communists, Nadia.
Mr.
President, how good to see you.
Where do you get the nerve to try and dictate terms on this? Are you insane? Your missile regiment is in a horrifying state of disrepair.
Your best-trained operators have Ieft or died.
The ones you've got aren't paid much, when they' re paid at all.
Your ICBMs are well beyond their warranty Iife.
Seven weeks ago, you mistook a Norwegian weather rocket for a missile because the CrossT ac information never made it to the Russian C and C system.
Leo, at the time the SS-1 9 exploded it was being drained of its Iiquid hydrogen in an attempt by deserting soldiers to, wait for it-- -Steal the warhead? -Steal the warhead.
When were you gonna tell us about that? -Do you realize how dangerous--? -Mr.
President.
You shouldn't be concerned with the welfare of the Russian people.
Well, I am concerned, but that's not what they pay me for.
You guys fall asleep, and I've got a hemisphere hiding under the bed.
How do you not tell us this is going on? How do you not ask us for help? We'II not need help finding the Ieaders of the black-market network-- Yeah, thanks.
We're sending in NATO inspectors.
We were discussing the terms.
The terms are we're sending in NATO inspectors or he's taking a walk to the press room.
Get your foreign minister on the phone.
I really don't know from where you guys get the nerve.
From a Iong, hard winter.
Mr.
President.
This is still my office, right? -We have some things for discussion.
-Nothing new from NASA? They' re testing the idea it may have turned into a "safe mode.
" If it sensed trouble, it's programmed to turn its systems off and wait for instructions from Earth.
-Earth's giving it instructions.
-It's not responding.
Like my kids.
AII right.
That Ieaves us with the televised classroom, the green beans-- -The stamp.
-The stamp.
And depending on who those people were that were standing near me the possibility of a story about me being good in bed.
-Good in bed? -Yes.
-Why? -Because I am.
-Okay.
-Green beans? Let's do a photo op with the president eating green beans.
We can drop in a quote, "He's always Iooking for new green bean recipes.
" We'II schedule a pop in Oregon and make sure nothing burned down.
Yeah, okay.
What about the stamp? The Citizens' Stamp Advisory Committee-- -The president doesn't Iike green beans.
-What? I'm sorry, sir.
Nothing.
-The Citizens' Stamp-- -No, I'm sorry.
I said, you don't Iike green beans, sir.
He doesn't enjoy them.
He doesn't think the people who make them are evil.
They're simply not his cup of tea.
Why don't we think the adults of Oregon will be okay with that? Josh, why do you think adult Americans can't understand that we can honor a man's contribution without subscribing to his politics? People stopped trusting government during Vietnam and it was because government stopped trusting them.
It's a cautionary tale, Josh.
Okay, I-- I was gonna say I think we should put him on the stamp.
-Okay, good.
-Yeah.
Everybody go away.
We'II call you when there's a NASA update.
-Thank you.
-Thank you, Mr.
President.
-Nothing.
I just-- -C.
J.
? -Did you hear the end of the concert? -I didn't hear much.
How was it? Well, first of all, Iet's not kid ourselves.
The Reykjavik Symphony can play.
These guys have some serious game.
In this particular case, their talents were tragically misapplied to an atonal nightmare of pretension.
But after intermission.
After intermission? They played a piece by a new composer.
At first I wasn't hearing.
I had 1 9 different things on my mind, but then I did.
And C.
J.
It was magnificent.
It was genius.
He built themes, and at the beginning it was an intellectual exercise which is fun enough, I guess, but then in the fourth movement he just Iet it go.
I really didn't think I could be surprised by music anymore.
I thought about all the times this guy must have heard that his music was no good.
I've gotta write this guy a Ietter.
Mr.
President, about that televised classroom tomorrow-- I' m gonna wait up for a while to see if we hear anything.
It's out there somewhere.
It's so close.
I think you should do the classroom either way.
Yeah? We have at our disposal a captive audience of schoolchildren.
Some of them don't go to the blackboard or raise their hand because they think they'II be wrong.
You should say to these kids, "You think you get it wrong sometimes? You should come down here and see how the big boys do it.
" You should tell them you haven't given up hope, and that it may turn up.
But in the meantime, you want NASA to put its best people in a room and you want them to start building Galileo 6.
Some of them will Iaugh and most won't care but for some, they might honestly see that it's about going to the blackboard and raising your hand.
And that's the broader theme.
I'II say.
I'II be in my office, Mr.
President.
-C.
J.
? -Yes, sir.
You said it right that time.
I'II be in my office.
Talk to us.
You told our boss's daughter you slept with a call girl? She was putting herself through school under Iess-than-good circumstances.
Way to go, Laurie.
It took three hours to confirm there was a picture.
-You've got an itch for Sam Seaborn.
-I do not.
-A Iittle itch.
-You're asking me out.
There will be under no circumstances sex at the end of the evening.
-There's a concern.
-C.
J.
doesn't know anything.
Excuse me, I need to go Iook Iike an idiot.
-Galileo 5.
-Yes, sir.
-Just the name.
-Galileo 5.
-You can feel the adventure.
-Indeed.
NASA's great at naming things.
Mercury.
Apollo.
Atlantis.
-Sea of T ranquility.
Ocean of Storms.
-Good names.
First time I heard Galileo 5, the way the imagination immediately-- It reminded me of the way folks in my generation felt when we heard "Yellow Submarine.
" We really did wanna Iive in a yellow submarine.
I can't believe they gave you driver's Iicenses.
-Where are we going? -Mars briefing rehearsal.
-Why? -T o rehearse.
-Say the name.
-I said it.
Say it again.
Your imagination, Iike a child will explode with unrestrained possibilities for adventure.
-Galileo 5.
-You didn't say it right.
-I said it fine.
-Say it again.
-Who wrote this intro? -I did.
You from NASA Public Affairs? You mind if I give it a polish? -Is there a problem? -Mind if I change it? I'd prefer you didn't.
Public Affairs cleared the text.
-I'd prefer if the president change it.
-That's kind of what he pays me to do.
Look, I don't wanna step on your toes.
We're both writers.
I suppose, if we broaden the definition to those who can spell.
Excuse me? -Good morning.
-Good morning.
-They' re from NASA Public Affairs.
-How you doing? We' re gonna run through the drill for tomorrow morning.
First of all, you'II be flanked by FIight Operations Manager David Narakawa and NASA Chief Administrator Dr.
Peter Jobson.
On either side of them will be Dr.
Samuel Thurman of the Meteorite Analysis T eam from the Johnson Space Center and Dr.
Joyce-Grey Sutton, planetary geologist from Cal State Northridge.
On these monitors you'II see the images beamed back from the surface and on this computer screen you'II be able to read the kids' questions.
-I strongly urge you-- -Yes, I know.
I strongly urge you to act as moderator and pass questions off to the experts on the panel - rather than answer it yourself.
-Yes.
-Would you Iike to see the questions? -We have the questions? -Some.
Would you put them up? -Sure.
Katie, a sixth-grader at Green Oaks Junior High School Austin, T exas, asks " How old is the planet Mars? " That's a great question, Katie.
The planet Mars is 4.
6 billion years old.
-What did I say? -I knew that one.
-Nobody Iikes a know-it-all.
-Yes, God forbid that while talking to 60,000 students, the president should appear smart.
-That's fine.
Just don't show off.
-I don't show off.
Stevie, fourth-grader, P S.
31, Manhattan, asks: "What is the temperature on Mars? " Stevie, if one of our expert panelists were here they would tell you the temperature ranges from 1 5 degrees to minus 1 40.
That happens to be wrong.
It ranges from 60 to minus 225.
I converted it to Celsius in my head.
Thank you.
-Can I see the intro? -It's up on the prompter.
"Good morning.
I'm speaking to you Iive from the west wing of the White House.
T oday, we have a very unique opportunity to take part Iive in an extremely historic event which-- Whoa, boy.
-How you doing? -Who wrote this intro? I did, sir.
I' m Scott T ate from NASA Public Affairs.
Scott, unique means "one of a kind.
" Something can't be very unique.
Nor can it be extremely historic.
Do we have to use "Iive" twice in the first two sentences Iike we just cracked the technology? We' re also broadcasting in color, right? -Sam? -Yeah.
-He's gonna make changes.
-You gonna clear them with me? I doubt it.
Write this: "Good morning, 1 1 months ago, a 1 200-pound spacecraft blasted off from Cape Canaveral, FIorida.
Eighteen hours ago--" -Is it 1 8 hours ago? -Yeah.
"Eighteen hours ago, it Ianded on the planet Mars.
You, me and 60,000 of your fellow students across the country along with astro-scientists and engineers from the Jet Propulsion Lab in California NASA Houston, and right here at the White House are gonna be the first to see what it sees and to chronicle the extraordinary voyage of an unmanned ship called Galileo 5.
He said it right.
I don't understand how if it's noon in the East and 9:00 Pacific how it's 2:37 on Mars.
Well, Mars is a different time zone.
Yeah, it's the 37 minutes I was-- Mars rotates on its own axis once every 24 hours and 37 minutes.
Have you seen this morning's news report? -About the green beans? -I didn't see anything about that.
The Milwaukee Journal is quoting an unnamed source as saying the president doesn't Iike green beans.
That's a pretty slow news day in Milwaukee.
-Josh.
-It's not gonna be a thing.
You guys done? Walk me out.
-Ask me how Iong a Martian day is.
-No, I don't think I will.
Toby, do you know how a stamp is chosen? -A stamp? -Yeah.
-You'II Iearn.
-Why? -The postmaster general needs your help.
-Why? The Citizens' Stamp Advisory Committee-- There's a Citizens' Stamp Advisory Committee? Made up of members of the "There But for the Grace of God Go I " club.
You wanna mock people or Iet me talk to T oby? I wanna mock people.
The Citizens' Stamp Advisory Committee has recommended to the postmaster that Marcus Aquino be put on the next issue.
-You know who he is? -No.
He's a former resident commissioner of Puerto Rico and a Korean War hero.
-What's the problem? -He advocated statehood, right? -Strongly advocated it.
-Give it to somebody else.
-No.
-PIease? This is a public face thing.
The postmaster general wants your help.
Well, he can wait in a Iine around the block while two of my 20 teller windows are open.
Make a recommendation by the end of the day.
-What are you smiling at? -Nothing.
I just.
T oby got the stamp assignment.
-Leo, I might need some help.
-T ake Josh.
Thanks.
Congratulations.
You're choosing the next stamp.
Wow, that happened fast.
-687 days? -Yeah.
-Hey, Carol.
-Hey, T oby.
A Martian year is 687 days.
Yes.
Did you see this morning's news report? -I'm boning up my Mars.
-C.
J.
? He thinks he's so smart, just because he's so smart.
-Did you see this morning's--? -I highlighted your copy.
You didn't highlight the green beans story.
I thought it best to alert the Justice Department.
-"An unnamed White House source.
" -I read the story.
I didn't highlight it.
You don't think this'II get picked up? Why not? -It's not a story.
-See me in three hours.
-It's not a story.
-See me in three hours.
-How many moons does Mars have? -Two.
Phobos and Deimos.
-Get out.
-Three hours.
-Carol? -Yeah? She wants information on green beans.
-You have work? -I'm picking a stamp.
Nobody Iikes people who know everything.
-So I've discovered in my Iife.
-Get me information on green beans.
The afternoon is blocked off for budget meetings.
3:00, HUD.
-Good afternoon, Mr.
President.
-Yeah.
What else? got phone calls from 5:30 to 6:30.
Okay, but then, Iet's bring the curtain down.
I've got a great night planned.
I've got two books on Mars and a book on Galileo himself.
I'm gonna go to the residence and read.
Mrs.
Landingham.
-Yes, sir? -Nothing after 6:30.
I'm gonna go read about Mars which, while colder and drier, has four Earth-Iike seasons.
No, sir.
-It does.
-I'm sure you're right.
I'm saying, no, you won't be reading tonight.
-You're attending a concert.
-Since when? Mr.
McGarry's office put it on your schedule.
-Get me Leo.
-I was about to tell you.
-It's important that you go.
-T o a concert? -Did Buddy Holly come back? -It's the Reykjavik Symphony Orchestra.
The Reykjavik Symphony Orchestra? Leo?! -It's in Iceland.
-I know where Reykjavik is.
-I wish I was there right now.
-Yes, Mr.
President? -The Reykjavik Symphony Orchestra? -I hear they' re pretty good.
-Why do I--? -You canceled yesterday's meeting -with the Icelandic ambassador.
-I' m being punished? No.
Iceland is considering defying the ban on whale hunting imposed by the International Whaling Commission.
They're in danger of joining Norway and Japan.
There's a Iucrative international demand for fresh Icelandic minke whale meat.
-Is this a joke? -No, sir.
The State Department and the Fisheries subdivision of the Department of Agriculture feel we should avoid offending Iceland.
-Which we did by canceling the meeting.
-Apparently.
So to make up for it, I' m going to see the Reykjavik Symphony.
-Yes, sir.
-With Ambassador? Vigdis OIafsdottir.
-Okay.
-He's very excited to meet you.
I'II give you $1 000 if you don't make me go.
-Think of the whales.
-Do they vote? Mr.
President? Intelligence briefing.
-Send them in.
-This might be something.
-Why? -There was an explosion in a Russian oil refinery.
-Good afternoon.
-Hey, Jack.
-Charlie? -Yes, sir.
Gentlemen, please.
-There was an explosion? -IT AR-T ASS is reporting that there's a fire burning in an oil refinery in Kozelsk.
-It's in the oblast region? -Yeah.
-What's the problem, Jack? -There is no oil refinery in Kozelsk.
Oh, man.
The closest oil refinery is about 20 kilometers southeast.
It's not a refinery fire? -It's a missile silo.
-There was an explosion in a missile silo? We can't confirm that at this point but the Russians have 20 SS-1 9's in the quadrant.
Keyhole has pictures of a column of smoke emergency personnel on the ground, but no burning structure.
Certainly no oil refinery.
If a missile exploded, is it possible it was armed? Was there a warhead? -We can have a briefing in an hour.
-Half-hour, Jack.
-Thank you.
-Thank you, sir.
Did they think we weren't gonna see it, Leo? It's a Cold War mentality.
If they ask, we could help.
I wouldn't wait for the phone to ring.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Galileo Galilei.
He sat in a cathedral in Pisa.
He watched a Iamp suspended from the ceiling as it oscillated back and forth.
He used his pulse to keep time and discovered that the period of oscillation was independent of the size of the arc.
Years Iater, he contradicted the theory that a heavier body falls faster than a Iighter one which took some guts back in 1 609 when you consider that the theory he was contradicting was Aristotle's.
You want a broader theme for the classroom? Charlie? I really do.
Have Sam and C.
J.
come tonight.
-I'II be in my office.
-Thanks.
-Yes, sir.
-He contradicted Aristotle, Charlie.
-He saw the rings on Saturn? -Yes, he did.
-Did you need something, sir? -Yes.
What's next? Deputy Secretary Hallis and the T rap Commission.
They' re meeting in the Map Room.
The process by which a postage stamp enters into circulation - begins with the American public.
-What? -Are you even Iistening? -No.
-Do you wanna do this? -I don't.
-I did index cards.
-How many? -Eighty-seven.
-Reduce it to three.
-Philately's fun, Josh.
-I'm sorry, what's fun? -Philately.
Stamp collecting.
-Be careful how you say that word-- -Can I work? -T ell me what you know.
The process by which a stamp enters into circulation begins with the public.
That's always our first mistake.
Proposals are submitted to the Citizens' Stamp Advisory Committee -the acronym for which is-- -Dork Squad.
C-SAC.
The committee then makes a recommendation to the postmaster general, in this case, Marcus Aquino.
He won the Silver Star for service in Korea.
There are numerous instances of valor and actions above and beyond the call.
As Puerto Rico's resident commissioner he served Congress faithfully and well.
-Let's put him on a stamp.
-Let's put you on a stamp.
-Okay.
-Let's talk about the problem.
T oby.
-Two hours and 20 minutes.
-Yes.
Let me say first -you were right and I was wrong.
-The oddsmakers take a beating.
When I said nobody would pick it up? Everybody's picked it up.
And when I said even if they did, it wouldn't be a big deal? It's a bit of a deal.
Know where? -In Oregon? -In Oregon.
You know why? They're a major producer of green beans? They're a huge producer, Toby.
Green beans, or snap beans, represent a significant percentage of Oregon's annual revenue.
But here's the thing.
-There's an electoral problem? -There's an electoral problem.
We won Oregon by Iess than 1 0,000 votes and we'II need them.
-Yeah.
-Okay.
Well, I'm on it now.
-Good.
-So-- You know what? So it took me Ionger to figure it out.
Doesn't make you smarter than I am.
-Of course not.
-Thank you.
-My SAT scores, on the other hand-- -I've gotta spin the green bean problem.
Knock 'em dead.
-Oh, C.
J.
-I had fine SAT scores.
The president wants you to go with him tonight.
He wants to discuss a theme for the closed-circuit classroom tomorrow.
A theme? We' re Ianding a probe on Mars.
-That's the theme.
-He wants to discuss a broader theme.
-He wants Sam too.
-Who else? That's it.
Oh, Mallory's going.
You, Sam, Mallory, the president and an Icelandic delegation.
-Hang on.
-What? -I can't go.
-Why not? There'II be State Department people.
I just added a new deputy.
Most people I interviewed were from State.
The Kennedy Center's gonna be packed with people I rejected.
So is the bar at the Four Seasons.
Be there.
T ell Sam.
-Carol? -Yeah.
Have someone go to my apartment and pick up my blue Armani.
-And a pair of shoes.
-Yeah.
The president wants us to go to the concert so we can discuss broader themes for the classroom.
Great.
It should be about more than rocks and average rainfall.
-God, does it rain on Mars? -No, but I' m saying.
The White House should develop a broader theme.
That's right.
And I think it's incredible the president's asked us.
We should attack with energy due the moment.
-Mallory's gonna be there.
-I can't go.
I'd think that, faced with the privilege of attacking with energy due the moment-- Screw the moment.
I can't go.
As we used to say in my hometown, "That's just hard cheese.
" That's a real AIgonquin Round T able you grew up with.
That is, Iike, the fourth time I've been called dumb today.
I never called her after the picture of me and Laurie in the newspaper.
I never called her.
She never called me.
You haven't spoken since the picture? You didn't see her at the hospital? I mean, I did, but-- No.
She started seeing somebody.
Did I tell you not to get a crush on the boss's daughter? Yeah.
Don't you have a vegetable crisis to fix or something? -Yes.
-Okay.
The warhead didn't detonate.
The SS-1 9's had just been downloaded.
-But you're ready to confirm? -An SS-1 9 Stiletto ballistic missile blew up in its silo, yes.
-What do you think happened? -Every morning at your briefing you're told about the troubling state of the Russian military.
-You just saw evidence of it.
-Somebody screwed up.
Either somebody screwed up or a computer did.
You wanna know the truth? An early warning ballistic missile system and the troops who run it mistakenly detected a bogey from a flock of Norwegian geese.
Where are we with the Russian ambassador? She's still claiming it's an oil refinery fire.
Leo, I want you to see her as soon as she can get here.
Thank you.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
Leo? -Mike? -Yeah.
Could you have the president's NASA advisor come over? Yes, sir.
Can I tell him why? We Iost the signal from Galileo.
-It's a stamp! -Yes, but we have to remain neutral.
-It's a stamp! -I understand that it's a stamp.
When it comes to statehood for Puerto Rico, the US.
has to remain neutral.
Puerto Rico's in the United States.
Thank you for that review of fifth-grade social studies but I meant the federal government must remain neutral.
Puerto Rico's in the federal government.
They send a resident commissioner to Congress.
-Who can't vote.
That's beside the point.
-What is the point? Aquino was in favor of statehood.
T o put him on a stamp would promote his beliefs, which we can't do.
Because we have to remain neutral.
That's idiotic.
Like it's the first time.
He voiced an opinion, so he can't be on a stamp? Sides have been taken.
Former presidents.
The speaker.
The minority Ieader.
They all say statehood is in the Iong-term interest of Puerto Rico.
And that as it stands now, have been relegated to second-class status.
That's more people than Mississippi.
Mississippi's never minded being relegated to second-class status.
You' re gonna make your bigoted Mississippi jokes? -Yes, I am.
-Isn't anyone worried that they're gonna want independence? Exactly no one is worried about that.
Because Puerto Rico is absolutely dependent on US.
manufacturing which contributes 40% to the GDP and accounts for 24% of their workforce.
-People don't sit still for tyranny.
-How is it tyranny? Puerto Ricans have to register to be drafted, yet they can't vote.
They' re expected to die for a commander in chief they didn't elect? We have colonized Puerto Rico, and they will rise up against us.
-I think we can take them.
-That's what we said about the British.
-We took the British.
-You know what I' m saying.
Hardly ever.
-Josh.
-What's going on? They know it entered the Martian atmosphere at 3:01 p.
m.
Eastern.
They know it was on course, traveling at 1 5,400 miles per hour which it was supposed to.
During its descent it was also supposed to release two probes firing them deep into the ground as part of the mission's search for evidence of water under the surface.
We think if we hit the ground hard we can make it to the center of the planet and find water? That's not a theory of physics pretty much disproved by Wile E.
Coyote? The probes were supposed to send a signal back to Earth.
-We haven't gotten the signal.
-The Iast the flight control heard was 1 1 minutes before Ianding when all systems were operating normally.
Then it entered a communications blackout period and hasn't been heard from since.
I know how it feels.
-What are they trying? -The things they try.
I' m gonna give it an hour, and then tell Leo to cancel the classroom.
-Josh? -Yeah? The stamp? You were supposed to do this, you know.
-I delegated.
-Yeah.
I've got more index cards.
C.
J.
? -I'm Iate.
-Where are you going? I have to go be with people who don't Iike me.
-You can do that here.
-Sorry.
-We're Iate.
-You're going too? -The president wants to discuss themes.
-I don't think there will be a classroom.
-The president's holding out hope.
-In the meantime Mallory's gonna be there with her boyfriend and it's gonna be weird because we haven't spoken since the picture which was wrong.
But I'm not even sure there was an obligation to do that.
Let's remember, it's not Iike we were dating.
It was a flirtation.
We had one date and the rest were all with groups of people.
I don't even know what dating is anymore.
That's 20 seconds of my Iife I'II never get back.
Let's go.
Mr.
McGarry will be here in a moment.
Yes.
Are you sure I can't get you anything? No, thank you.
I'II be waiting outside, then.
If you need anything, please, don't hesitate to shout my name which is Margaret.
Yes.
The Russian ambassador's here.
I Ieft her alone, because I think I was freaking her out.
It wouldn't surprise me.
-Madame Ambassador.
-Leo.
Thank you for coming.
-You Iook handsome, Leo.
-Thank you.
-You Iook very nice yourself.
-You get more handsome every year.
And you're having your suits handmade now.
-Nadia, are you hitting on me? -I was sorry to hear about your divorce.
-You have a fire in a missile silo.
-It is an oil refinery.
These are Keyhole satellite photographs.
Would you point please to the oil refinery in these pictures? I am not in the position to comment on matters of national security.
Okay, can you tell me how an oil refinery explosion would affect national security? This should be taken up with the foreign minister.
I' m taking it up with the Russian ambassador to the United States.
Is your country ready to deny there was an explosion at Sego Silo 1 4-D? We know how to deal with these kinds of emergencies.
We have guys who train for it all the time.
Ask us for help.
-Do we know what they' re playing? -I' m sorry, sir? The Reykjavik Symphony.
Do we know what they' re playing and for how Iong? -It says, "An Evening of Modern Music.
" -T urn the car around.
"The orchestra features 90 pieces including anvils and castanets.
" -T urn the car around.
-Modern music is cool.
Modern music sucks.
Anything written after 1 860 sucks.
-"Samuel Barber.
Symphony No.
2.
" -Sucks.
-"Stravinsky.
Variations on a Theme.
" -Sucks.
-"Enlightened Night for string orchestra.
" -T otally blows.
"They'II be performing the world premiere of a piece PIayed on teapots and gefilte fish.
by a new Icelandic composer.
" He got so nervous when he heard you were coming he was rewriting the piece until 6:00.
If he wants more time, I' m happy to take a rain check.
-I thought you Iiked classical music.
-I do, but this is not classical music.
It is not classical music if the guy finished writing it this afternoon.
He's here.
Here we go.
Moving in.
-C.
J.
! -Yes, sir.
-A broader theme.
-Sam and I'II be talking about it.
I don't get many opportunities to talk to kids.
At some point, I'm gonna have to pull the plug to give enough notice.
-But Iet's Iet them work for a while.
-Yes, sir.
-Where's Sam? -He's inside hiding from Mallory.
-Why is he hiding? -Do you really wanna know? -Not at all.
-I didn't think so.
Hey, Sam.
-How you doing, Sam? -Good.
-Hey, Sam.
-Benny.
Hey, Sam.
-How you doing? -I'm good.
Good.
-And you? -Good.
Excellent.
Can I just say that I was the one who was in trouble? It was my picture in the paper and I don't know why I needed to call you and explain myself.
It was you and a call girl.
Like there aren't pictures of you and a call girl? No, there aren't any pictures of me and a call girl.
-Well, that's a crime.
-If you'd picked up the phone-- -Who's your boyfriend? -I don't think-- -What's his name? -His name is Richard Andrewchuk.
-There's a hockey player named that.
-Unless there are two.
-You're dating Richard Andrewchuk? -We're having a Iot of sex.
-You'd have to.
-What does that mean? -What the hell do you two talk about? -He happens to be terribly bright.
-Good, because he's a bad player.
-He's had injury problems.
-From falling down.
-Look, I came over here-- Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I took trombone Iessons when I was a kid.
Not much solo music written for trombone but I wanted to play in the marching band.
The thing was, my arms were too short to reach seventh position.
One afternoon during a game, I gave it all I had and ended up throwing a slide into the end zone which is more than I could say for our quarterback.
Would you excuse me just one moment? -Galileo? -No, sir, the oil refinery.
-Yeah, what? -You'II need a Pentagon briefing.
The explosion occurred while Iiquid hydrogen was being drained.
Okay.
-What about Galileo? -They' re working on it.
-Okay.
-I'II get a statement ready.
Yeah.
-Someone was draining hydrogen? -Yeah.
-Mr.
President? -Yeah? -Your box is ready.
-Thanks.
-Toby Ziegler.
-Thanks.
-You'II need to take it outside.
-Yeah.
C.
J.
? They said modern music? I thought that meant Jackson Browne.
-Jackson Browne is modern? -Used to be.
-Yeah, Iook.
-Yeah? Twice a year the kitchen staff has writers come in from food magazines.
They were in Iast week, and I mentioned to one of them.
I said the president doesn't Iike green beans.
-Why? -Because he doesn't.
-How did you say it? -What? -What question did they ask? -" Is there any food he Iikes or dislikes? " I said he Iikes steaks, Iobster, spaghetti, ice cream.
-And? -He doesn't Iike green beans.
-Did you Ieave any wiggle room? -Wiggle room? -He doesn't Iike green beans.
-We won Oregon by 1 0,000 votes.
If they have 1 0,001 green bean farmers, then we're screwed.
-C.
J.
-- -This is serious.
I'm sorry I mouthed off to a reporter, but you're crazy.
Education's a serious thing.
Crime.
Jobs.
National security.
I've been to Oregon four times, and not a single person I've met has been stupid.
Everybody's stupid in an election year.
No, everybody gets treated stupid in an election year.
AII right.
From now on, there's no food the president doesn't Iike.
-Yeah.
-I have to take this outside.
Yeah.
-Can you hear me? -Where are you? I'm out in back.
I passed Gary Saunders on the way out.
He booed me.
I swear to God, I passed by, he went, " Boo.
" Who's Gary Saunders? Deputy spokesperson at the Department of Energy.
- You didn 't hire him.
-I promoted Simon GIazer.
-I promoted from within, T oby.
-Anyway they' re hypothesizing the thing came down at an odd angle and its position might be preventing it from establishing a downlink.
They say it'll take a few days to try everything.
-Days? - Yeah.
Oh, God! If this is the worst thing that happens-- No, T ad Whitney is coming over to me.
You interviewed Tad? Oh, God, he's got me in his tractor beam.
He's walking right over.
-Goodbye.
-I' m not very good at confrontation.
-You have no problem with me.
-Is the water in the Potomac very cold? If you rub chicken fat on yourself, it'II insulate.
Don't hang up.
If it seems Iike I'm talking-- Hey, C.
J.
Yeah, okay.
We're gonna put those figures out at the morning briefing and-- Yeah.
Thank you.
What was that about? You know, I honestly couldn't tell you.
-I saw you come out.
-Yeah, there's some stuff going on.
-I didn't get the gig, huh? -I gave it to Simon GIazer.
-I heard.
-I promoted from within.
-Yeah.
-Promoting from within is very big in my family.
Yeah, I'm surprised, because I'm pretty qualified.
In fact, a Iot of people at State thought I was a Iock.
-You're very qualified.
-Yeah, and it wasn't because I'm a man.
-Well, no.
Simon GIazer's a man.
-I suppose.
Hey.
-It wasn't because I stopped seeing you? -It honestly was a matter of Simon.
No, of course, it didn't have anything to do with.
That was six weeks five years ago.
I thought you might want an explanation as to why I did.
-Why you did what? -Why I stopped calling you.
I don't need an explanation.
Believe me, it wasn't because you were bad in bed or anything Iike that.
No, I didn't think it was, T ad.
I mention it because I know a Iot of women who worry about that.
-I don't.
-You're good in bed.
I'm great in bed.
-How you doing? -C.
J.
-- I'm sorry you didn't get the job.
But there's really-- You're really gonna tell me this isn't personal? -I really am.
-I think it is.
I think it's personal and unprofessional, and people are gonna know about this.
-I think you've got a problem.
-I have a number of problems today.
You're not close to being any of them.
I was hoping we could be adult about this.
I have to go.
You're gonna get a briefing.
-On what? -A Russian missile silo.
-Listen.
-Yeah? PIaying along with this for a moment is there anything I should do to improve my chances next time around? Well, when we run for reelection, I'd vote for somebody else.
-Read the Iast part back to me.
- "The flight manager at JPL will work around the clock until hope is exhausted.
" -Okay.
-I'II give it to Carol.
- Yeah.
-Is she there? -Mallory? - Yeah.
Y eah, she's here.
She snuck up on me from behind.
You'd think women would make more noise with those high heels.
They've got this stealth thing going, which I ought to be clever enough to-- -What was that? -Nothing.
-She's there, right? -Yeah.
-How's she look? -She Iooks pretty good.
-Can you describe what she 's wearing? -Yeah.
She's standing in front of me.
-Wanna get off the phone? - Yeah.
Okay.
-You know what I think? -What? You' re caught between wanting to be mad and wanting good seats for home games.
I get pretty good seats.
I don't know if you noticed the motorcade I rode in.
I spoke to my dad.
I' m sorry about Galileo.
-They've got a Iot of tests they can try.
-How much money is it gonna cost? -Don't start with me.
-I' m asking as a taxpayer.
It cost $ 1 65 million to Iose the thing.
How much more will it cost to make sure you'II never find it? I don't know, but we won't divert municipal tax dollars which are best spent on new hockey arenas.
It's best spent feeding, housing and educating people.
There are a Iot of hungry people.
None of them are hungry none of them are colder or dumber because we went to the moon.
We went to the moon.
Do we have to go to Mars? Why? Because it's next.
Because we came out of the cave and we Iooked over the hill and we saw fire and we crossed the ocean, and we pioneered the West and we took to the sky.
The history of man is hung on a timeline of exploration, and this is what's next.
-I know.
-People Iike you who say that-- -What? -I said, I know.
-We' re supposed to be explorers.
-Then, what the hell--? -I Iike hearing you talk about it.
-You know-- -You get puffed up.
-You're a pain in the ass.
Yes.
Anyway, Iook, about the picture-- -Don't worry about it tonight.
-You're not pissed? I'm totally pissed, but I'm saying don't worry about it tonight.
-Sam? -Yeah? -I appreciate that.
Thank you.
-Yeah.
-Hey, Mal.
-Hey, C.
J.
Let me see what you got.
This will be for tonight, but doesn't include notes from JPL.
-I gotta talk to Jason Stark.
-Yeah.
-What you got there? -Precedent, baby! -Precedent? -Precedent.
The mother's milk of making your point and being right.
Okay.
The Jewish War Veterans Iobbied to get a stamp even though the criteria prohibits groups whose undertakings are religious.
Right, and what happened? The JWV argued that their achievements have been fighting wars.
Like Aquino.
-Right, and what happened? -They were denied.
-Yes.
-Okay, that doesn't help me.
Hang on! -The Iuna moth has its own stamp.
-What's a Iuna moth? You don't see the National Organization of Entomologists freaking out.
-No, but I'd pay good money to see that.
-Hang on.
-Here we go.
-These groups were issued stamps: Disabled Veterans of America.
United Confederate Veterans.
And the black soldiers who served as buffalo scouts in the West.
-You gonna get that? -I meant in the 1 9th century.
I didn't think we still had buffalo scouts.
That guy should be able to be on a stamp.
-What was that? -The president's back.
Any inspection team will have to include neutral representatives.
-Who? -The Finns.
I'II take it to the State Department, but they' re not gonna wanna accept Iimits.
No one enters our country without our approval.
-They'II agree to notification.
-I'II insist on notification and approval.
Results from the inspection will remain in the country-- -Nadia! -Leo, soil samples, carbon residue photographs and photographic negatives.
-Listen-- -That must remain under Russian control.
Your paranoia was a Iot sexier back when you guys were Communists, Nadia.
Mr.
President, how good to see you.
Where do you get the nerve to try and dictate terms on this? Are you insane? Your missile regiment is in a horrifying state of disrepair.
Your best-trained operators have Ieft or died.
The ones you've got aren't paid much, when they' re paid at all.
Your ICBMs are well beyond their warranty Iife.
Seven weeks ago, you mistook a Norwegian weather rocket for a missile because the CrossT ac information never made it to the Russian C and C system.
Leo, at the time the SS-1 9 exploded it was being drained of its Iiquid hydrogen in an attempt by deserting soldiers to, wait for it-- -Steal the warhead? -Steal the warhead.
When were you gonna tell us about that? -Do you realize how dangerous--? -Mr.
President.
You shouldn't be concerned with the welfare of the Russian people.
Well, I am concerned, but that's not what they pay me for.
You guys fall asleep, and I've got a hemisphere hiding under the bed.
How do you not tell us this is going on? How do you not ask us for help? We'II not need help finding the Ieaders of the black-market network-- Yeah, thanks.
We're sending in NATO inspectors.
We were discussing the terms.
The terms are we're sending in NATO inspectors or he's taking a walk to the press room.
Get your foreign minister on the phone.
I really don't know from where you guys get the nerve.
From a Iong, hard winter.
Mr.
President.
This is still my office, right? -We have some things for discussion.
-Nothing new from NASA? They' re testing the idea it may have turned into a "safe mode.
" If it sensed trouble, it's programmed to turn its systems off and wait for instructions from Earth.
-Earth's giving it instructions.
-It's not responding.
Like my kids.
AII right.
That Ieaves us with the televised classroom, the green beans-- -The stamp.
-The stamp.
And depending on who those people were that were standing near me the possibility of a story about me being good in bed.
-Good in bed? -Yes.
-Why? -Because I am.
-Okay.
-Green beans? Let's do a photo op with the president eating green beans.
We can drop in a quote, "He's always Iooking for new green bean recipes.
" We'II schedule a pop in Oregon and make sure nothing burned down.
Yeah, okay.
What about the stamp? The Citizens' Stamp Advisory Committee-- -The president doesn't Iike green beans.
-What? I'm sorry, sir.
Nothing.
-The Citizens' Stamp-- -No, I'm sorry.
I said, you don't Iike green beans, sir.
He doesn't enjoy them.
He doesn't think the people who make them are evil.
They're simply not his cup of tea.
Why don't we think the adults of Oregon will be okay with that? Josh, why do you think adult Americans can't understand that we can honor a man's contribution without subscribing to his politics? People stopped trusting government during Vietnam and it was because government stopped trusting them.
It's a cautionary tale, Josh.
Okay, I-- I was gonna say I think we should put him on the stamp.
-Okay, good.
-Yeah.
Everybody go away.
We'II call you when there's a NASA update.
-Thank you.
-Thank you, Mr.
President.
-Nothing.
I just-- -C.
J.
? -Did you hear the end of the concert? -I didn't hear much.
How was it? Well, first of all, Iet's not kid ourselves.
The Reykjavik Symphony can play.
These guys have some serious game.
In this particular case, their talents were tragically misapplied to an atonal nightmare of pretension.
But after intermission.
After intermission? They played a piece by a new composer.
At first I wasn't hearing.
I had 1 9 different things on my mind, but then I did.
And C.
J.
It was magnificent.
It was genius.
He built themes, and at the beginning it was an intellectual exercise which is fun enough, I guess, but then in the fourth movement he just Iet it go.
I really didn't think I could be surprised by music anymore.
I thought about all the times this guy must have heard that his music was no good.
I've gotta write this guy a Ietter.
Mr.
President, about that televised classroom tomorrow-- I' m gonna wait up for a while to see if we hear anything.
It's out there somewhere.
It's so close.
I think you should do the classroom either way.
Yeah? We have at our disposal a captive audience of schoolchildren.
Some of them don't go to the blackboard or raise their hand because they think they'II be wrong.
You should say to these kids, "You think you get it wrong sometimes? You should come down here and see how the big boys do it.
" You should tell them you haven't given up hope, and that it may turn up.
But in the meantime, you want NASA to put its best people in a room and you want them to start building Galileo 6.
Some of them will Iaugh and most won't care but for some, they might honestly see that it's about going to the blackboard and raising your hand.
And that's the broader theme.
I'II say.
I'II be in my office, Mr.
President.
-C.
J.
? -Yes, sir.
You said it right that time.
I'II be in my office.
Talk to us.