Turbo FAST (2013) s02e07 Episode Script

Crow Pox - Faking Amends

1 [engine revvs.]
# - Whoa! - Woo! # Those snails are fast - # Turbo - F-A-S-T # That's the team you'll never beat Turbo, he got super speed Whiplash, he jets to the lead Skidmark, propeller flow Chet's safe, he'll take it slow Smoove Move with them speakers, baby Burn burnin' that fire crazy White Shadow, big with no fear Now you know the team is here There they go, gone in a flash - # Those snails are fast - Turbo # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # Those snails are fast, fast, fast, fast, fast - # Turbo - Woo! # [horn honking.]
On your left! [screams.]
- Hey, watch it! - If you can't stand the heat, then get off the street! Oh, yeah? Well, I guess I might just go off-road, - and you'll end up being - Roadkill! I was gonna say, "the loser of the race," but I guess that also - [brakes screech.]
- [Skidmark.]
Told you.
[coughing.]
Dang! We can't just leave this thing here.
It ain't right.
Yeah, we should really do something.
How about we use it to prank Chet? You read my mind! Don't do it again.
Guys, come on, crows are Chet's biggest fear.
I'm talking worse than lawnmowers and flavored yogurt combined.
That's why we have to prank him with one! Or did you forget how annoying he was after he became the Prank King? I can't believe you suckers thought I was dead! Long live the Prank King! [humming tune.]
Or how smug he was after tricking us into bonding at the Manor of Magic? The Prank King strikes again! [humming tune.]
Or that time he tricked us into poking that chimichanga? [whistling.]
Prank King! [humming tune.]
You're right.
Chet needs to get pranked, and pranked hard.
[all chuckling.]
I've been watering tomatoes All the livelong day Then I put 'em on a scale Just to see how much they weigh - [cawing.]
- [gasps.]
Who's there? I'm warning you, I've got a dangerously pointy rake! [cawing continues.]
- [Skidmark imitating crow.]
Chet.
- Crow! I have risen from the grave to gnaw on your delicious brains! [stifled screaming.]
[all.]
Gotcha! Pretty good one, eh, Chet? [stifled screaming continuing.]
Chet? This is why I said this was a bad idea from the start.
You gotta level with us, Dr.
Shellman.
How does he look? Well, I'd assume he looks out of his eyes, - like most snails.
- [screaming stops.]
I mean, is he gonna be okay? Oh.
Well, my official diagnosis is that Chet had the bejeebers scared out of him.
So, until we get his bejeeber count back to a normal level, he's in for a long and painful recovery.
- [sighs.]
- Don't worry, Chet's strong.
Strong? Oh, my, no.
Chet's one of the weakest snails I've ever seen.
He bruises immediately when you poke him with any firm object.
Hey, he's right! This is terrible.
Well, I'd say it's no laughing matter, if it weren't such a hilarious prank.
Traumatizing your friend with a zombie crow? [laughing.]
Bravo! [machine beeping.]
I can't believe we did this to Chet.
All this guilt is making me feel awful and itchy? That ain't guilt.
You got some sort of nasty rash! - I'm not the only one.
- Oh, no! Chet has cursed us from beyond the grave! Chet's still alive! He's right here.
Then he must've cursed us from before the grave! That's even worse! Hmm.
You three haven't been handling any deceased crows lately, have you? Yes! We literally just told you about that! I'm sorry, I tend to forget things almost immediately.
I should probably see someone about that.
You guys know any good doctors? No, we don't.
Anywho, these rashes are the first sign of full-blown Crow Pox.
But I'm not that worried because I have this protective suit.
Are we gonna be okay? - Oh, you'll be just fine.
- [all sigh with relief.]
For 24 hours.
Then your blood will boil and your organs will turn inside out.
But don't worry, it's much more painful than it sounds.
No! I like my organs inside in! - Doctor, what can we do? - Eh! So many questions! Ooh! Hm.
Let's see here, Cauliflower Tail, Crabaphobia Ah! Here we go, Crow Pox! It looks like the only known cure is the egg of the Crowvus zillius.
[gasping.]
That's Crowzilla, the biggest, nastiest crow in the world! It lives at the top of the tallest tree in Griffith Park.
See? It's on the cover of my latest Cryptozoology Quarterly.
Then we have to find that egg.
Great! Whatever gets you out of my office! I really don't like being around sick people.
Stay strong, brother.
Chet, there's a chance I might not make it back.
If so, there's only one small thing I ask.
That you never date anyone else for the rest of your life.
I love you, Boo.
[farts.]
Oh! That's disgusting, Chet! Can you believe that guy? Ooh! It's a big one.
No problem-o.
Ow! Ow! Ee-ouch! [grunts.]
Splinters! Dang, this is gonna be a rough climb.
Don't worry, I brought supplies! Bottle cap, marbles, crochet needle.
Why would we need any of that junk? I assure you, it all serves a vital purpose.
Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.
Okay, let's go! [panting.]
Hey, I think we finally made it past the smog layer.
[distant sirens wailing.]
[coughs.]
How do people breathe in this fresh air? Yeah! What's the point of breathing if you can't taste it? [coughing.]
Shh! [whispering.]
Crows.
[gulps.]
[buzzing.]
[blowing.]
[inhales deeply.]
[gags, coughs.]
- [farts.]
- [all gasp.]
[cawing.]
[screaming.]
Don't worry, I'm always prepared! [crows cawing.]
[brakes screech.]
Nice, Skid! What is that stuff? Concentrated bobcat sweat! Works as a crow repellent and deliciously musky cologne.
- Pretty genius, huh? - [growls.]
[chuckles nervously.]
Nice bob-kitty.
Gotta be something in here that'll wash this stuff off.
Golf ball, shoehorn, weather vane.
[thunder rumbles.]
Hey, it's gonna rain! I'm saved! Shower me with your cleansing water [jabbering.]
[growls, sniffs.]
Exactly as I planned it.
- [thunderclap.]
- Oh, man! Look, over there! [soft music playing.]
Why, hello there, friends! What brings you around these parts? We're on our way to the top of the tree, sir.
Do you mind if we stay here for a bit to dry off? Of course not! I'll take you up to the treetop myself as soon as the storm passes.
Till then, I've got plenty of nuts and berries to tide you over while you warm yourselves by the fire.
Thank you, sir.
How can we ever repay you? It's no trouble at all.
I just ask that you follow my three simple rules.
- Stay away from my rare gum collection.
- [gasps.]
My racing-speed treadmill.
[excitedly.]
Oh! And the top secret documents, I stole from the CIA.
[gasps.]
- [clattering.]
- Ow! Ow! Ow! - [Turbo.]
Splinters! - [Skidmark.]
I regret nothing! [chipmunk.]
And stay out! [grunting and groaning.]
[panting.]
[grunts.]
We're never gonna make it in time.
I think I can feel the Crow Pox turning my organs inside out.
- [farts.]
- [insect buzzing.]
- Never mind.
- Look! A nest! And it's huge-ongous! It must belong to Crowzilla! - [gasps.]
- The egg! And I don't see any Crowzillas.
Let's hurry! All right, time to crack this baby open and bathe in its healing juices! [thudding footsteps.]
[screeching.]
[all.]
Crowzilla! No! Please, Mr.
Crowzilla, spare our lives! I'm too pathetic to die! I had my eyestalks lengthened just to fit in! This is how I used to look! [chitters.]
Yeah! We're all pathetic! I can't control my own farts! It's a real [farts.]
problem.
And I post on my own fan sites, just to keep the conversation going! How pathetic is that? [screeches.]
[screaming.]
[snickering.]
- Is that egg laughing at us? - What-in-the-huh? [laughs.]
- Gotcha! - But how? Fun fact.
My doctorate is actually in puppetry.
I truly have no business working in a hospital.
- So, our Crow Pox? - Totally made-up! Chet asked me to slip some itching powder in your shells.
And, like any good doctor, I was happy to play along with a good prank.
- Wait, how did you guys even get up here? - We took the elevator.
[elevator dings.]
- [snails chattering.]
- [all.]
What? If you guys ever listened to my Local Daytrips podcast, you'd know this tree has the best views in the city.
I can't believe he got us again.
That's right.
Long live the Prank King! [humming tune.]
- I blame you guys.
- He's never gonna shut up about this one.
Twerk it.
Oh, yeah.
Twerk it.
Uh-huh.
[humming.]
[gasps.]
Guys! Guys! Crowzilla's real! Oh, sure, Mr.
Prank King.
I'm not falling for that one.
You gotta help me! [screams.]
This is my worst nightmare! [screaming.]
[grunts.]
Didn't even think of this! Any of you feel like talking some smack? - [all.]
No.
- Lame.
To the Internet! All right, Krittter-verse, who wants some? [gasps.]
GuzMonster? "Quote of the Day: Love is a fire that will either warm your heart or burn down your house.
Speaking of Burn, I'm going to visit her today! #ThereWillBeTears" [gasps.]
Oh, no! - Everything okay? - No! My sister's coming! Why wouldn't you want to see your sister? Because she's the worst! She's always been the worst.
I grew up in a house full of mean older sisters, but Ember was the oldest and the meanest.
She loved to pick on me.
My tiny size, my buggy eyes, my sweet and sensitive nature, - you name it! - Doesn't sound that bad.
That was the nicest thing she ever did! Don't even get me started on that time she gave me a black eye! [laughing evilly.]
Or that time she attacked me with snakes! [screaming.]
[hissing.]
[laughing evilly.]
She sounds even scarier than you! I'm not scary! I'm the nice one! So, your "less nice" sister is coming here? Yeah, we out! Oh, no, you don't! I need you here for emotional support! Oh, man! Well, if I gotta stay, so does Shadow! Hey! Why'd you tell? She can't see me! You keep telling yourself that.
Isn't emotional support Chet's thing? Someone call me? Oh, no! What's wrong? Nuclear winter? Acid rain? The destabilization of European markets? Worse.
[thunder rumbles.]
[banging on door.]
Aloha-ste , Bernice.
This is who you've been so afraid of? Shh! Hey, sis! What brings you here uninvited.
[breathes deeply.]
I am calm.
I am peaceful.
I am centered.
As you can see, I've completely changed since you left.
I've met some bugs who have taught me to channel my energy in a positive way.
- Really? - Yes.
I've thought a lot about our childhood and have come to mend the hurtful wounds of our past.
I want to repair the sacred bond - of sisterhood between us.
- [grunts.]
Just because you wear funny clothes now, doesn't make you any different.
Boo, not that I have any personal stake in this matter, but you're not the same as you were when you were a kid.
You grew into your eyestalks.
Maybe your sister has changed too.
Why not give her a second chance? I don't have a problem with my sister.
I'm totally fine! Of course you are.
You know, I don't like to admit it, but Turbo and I didn't always get along.
Just look at us now! BFFs! And I wouldn't give up my relationship with my brother for anything! Except you, Boo.
- You say the word and he's gone! - [glass shatters.]
You're right, Boo.
Family is important.
Okay, Ember.
You got your second chance.
Ooh! Wonderful.
We can begin with that long overdue apology.
After all, an apology is the key to the gateway of forgiveness.
Yeah.
Yeah, all that stuff.
Let's just get this apology out of the way.
[clock ticking.]
[ticking continues.]
[steam whistling.]
[sighs in exasperation.]
I feared it wouldn't be easy after all this time.
Would you mind accompanying me to the "Fields of Forgiveness"? It's a healing festival that gets people to open up and share their feelings.
I'm sure we'll be able to get that apology there.
I guess I'll go to your dumb thing or whatever.
But only for that apology! [gasping.]
Good choice.
[meditative flute music playing.]
We'll spend the day doing exercises that help us let go of our hostility and invite harmony into our relationship.
Then there's a big apology ceremony at the end as the final step towards forgiveness.
I get why you're here, but why'd you have to drag us along too? Because if I have to suffer, so does everyone else! Oh, great.
[tabla drums playing rhythmically.]
- [drums continuing.]
- [laughing.]
Ooh! Ah! Ooh! "Interpretive mood dancing, Chakra realignment, Share your feelings 101" Why would I want to share my feelings? I don't have feelings! [sobbing.]
Of course you don't.
Otherwise, you'd notice how your constant condescension hurts me.
If I embarrass you, just say it! Way to share, brother.
So brave.
Don't encourage him! At least someone cares! Looks like your friends could use the Fields of Forgiveness too.
[soft flute music playing.]
Welcome, all! I am Namaste, your guide through the turbulent waters of your spiritual sojourn.
Now, let your healing begin! [groans.]
Look deep into your partner's eyes, for the eyes are the windows to the soul, and the soul is where the seeds of forgiveness are planted.
You were always very good at eye contact.
Because my eyes were too big for my tiny body? I grew into them! You blinked! I win! This isn't about winning.
It's about connecting.
[groans.]
Remember the apology, Boo! The apology will fix everything.
[gasping.]
[sighs, screams.]
These crystals will neutralize your negative energy and unblock your chi.
[all.]
Om! Indigo, can you cleanse my front again? I'm feeling some residual bad juju there.
You callin' me bad juju? - [growls.]
- [groans.]
You best get that out of my face or you're gonna lose an antenna.
Oh, yeah.
Right there.
That's the stuff.
Now, did he say these things unblock your cheese? Just paint whatever you feel when you think about your partner.
There's no right or wrong answer.
[playing soft flute music.]
It's so beautiful! [screaming.]
[grunts.]
Is that what you think I look like? A big lumpy pink blob? Well, Chet happens to like this blob, don't you, Boo? [grunting.]
Uh-huh.
[crash.]
- [playing soft flute music.]
- [applause, cheering.]
We're nearing the end of our journey, but we must all take that last difficult step.
The pain causer will apologize to their partner and place this sacred Wreath of Apology upon them.
Only then will your journey to forgiveness be complete.
Let us start with brothers Whiplash and White Shadow.
Okay, you're right, Shadow! You do embarrass me! I am embarrassed because I wish I had your childlike enthusiasm for life! But I don't.
I don't! I just want to be like you! Slug Hug? While we're here, I got a few things to apologize for too.
Let's see.
Letting my yellow mellow but not flushing my brown down, blaming the in-app purchases on Skid, and that time I pretended to be a doctor 'cause I wanted to play hemorrhoids.
Turns out, it's not a video game.
Man, it feels good to get that off my chest! [applause and cheers.]
[both laughing.]
Now, sisters Ember and Burn.
Let's witness your healing next.
[playing soft flute music.]
[clock ticking.]
[ticking continuing.]
Okay, you can apologize now.
What? I'm not apologizing! I thought you were apologizing to me! What? Seriously? After all this time, I should have known you would never change! [breathes deeply.]
I am calm.
I am peaceful.
I am - Oh, forget it! - [Chet.]
Ow! [chuckles.]
Geez, if it means that much to you, just take the stupid apology wreath! Maybe I will! [screams.]
Why is this wreath so itchy? Because it's poison ivy! I switched the wreaths! I knew this New Age thing was just a fake-out so you could burn me good! Burn you? Why would I do that? Why do you always assume the worst? Because you always tormented me! What are you talking about? You tormented me! Well, I know I didn't knock over my own blocks! Oh, yes, you did.
That's your sob story? I didn't even do anything! Oh, I wasn't finished.
- [screams.]
- [laughs wickedly.]
Okay, but you still hit me in the face with that door.
Say goodbye to Dolly! She's crow food now! [laughs.]
[grunts.]
Well, yeah, but what about the snakes? Seriously? [sighs.]
[screams.]
[laughs.]
[screams.]
Oh, yeah.
That is what happened, isn't it? Am I sensing a pattern of remembering things wrong? Mm-hmm.
Here, you deserve this.
I'm sorry for being the scary sister and taking out all my insecurities on you.
Now, doesn't this feel good? [screams.]
It burns! It burns so much! [screaming.]

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