Unnatural History s01e07 Episode Script

You know; it would help to know what we're looking for aside from- how did he put it? Something weird.
Right.
I think Henry started to escape the confines of the big city to his imagination.
Well, if anyone is up for it we could always go fishing or camping or sailing orsnake hunting this weekend.
Snakes? Yeah.
Hunting.
What's with all the mist in here? Oh I would call it an everyday occurrence - the division of obscure and unknown miscellany.
What do you call this? That would beblood.
It's all over the floor too.
Doesn't smell human.
Doesn't taste it either.
Please never tell me how you know that.
Please tell me those are sausages! Hello, what are you doing? Uh - saving you.
Who asked you? You totally trashed my close-up.
Okay class.
Reset.
Everybody from the top.
And cut.
Bravo.
All that's missing is the fireball.
Uncle Brian, to be honest how was I supposed to know the video club was shooting a movie? Perhaps by turning your jungle cat powers of observation onto the doom room inbox.
Apparently you were notified repeatedly.
So let's see - cost of reshoots $600.
Let's not forget the emotional distress suffered by the zombie.
Um See dad it's funny because the zombie can't suffer emotion anything.
It's un That's not important.
What if Henry maybe could maybe work off the damages and you could let this one slide? As your father Jasper, oh, I wish I could.
But at least Henry has an excuse; adventure and danger were part of his upbringing.
You two have no such excuse.
So how can I help you three? Oh no, that's him ambush smile.
What can we find that would provide a little structure, a touch of discipline, a channel for all that impulsive teenage energy? Something that benefits you as well as let's say our school at large? Uncle Brian I am always open to new experiences.
In fact I am desperate for new experiences.
Henry, where you are about to go you may just come face to face with an old experience.
What's that supposed to mean? Oh I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise.
We're so dead.
Seriously; how bad could it be? You flunkies want to go on [inaudible.]
and play some football for me? You want to make this squad you better sweat blood.
Seriously, how bad could it be? My voice isn't that high.
And what did you dad mean by coming face to face with an old experience? I think it's my dad's brain that's getting old.
At least the coach is off torturing some other puppies.
Who uses a lame term like that anyways? Well maybe you'll be good at this.
No breaks puppies; coach says back to the ups and downs.
Double time! Look like trotting, let's go, up down, up down.
I think you've taken this assistant team manager position a little too seriously.
Seriously; how bad can it be? My voice isn't that high.
You got me into this.
Hunter O'Herlihy is down with mono and he is still moving faster than you zombies.
Now show me what you're made of.
Double time! Times up, let's go, jumping jacks.
Stop jumping, whatever you are doing.
All right, take five.
Well, who's replacing Hunter? Used to be a [inaudible.]
Griffin.
Tomba? Hey! Smart as ever though.
A lift and drop - the classic.
You know this guy? Of course I know him; he's my brother.
What are you doing here? I just enrolled in Smithson.
Last I heard you were in Putan.
Well last I heard you were in Liberia.
Oh sorry, Tomba Tolo this is my Your cousin Jasper.
Back in Liberia I heard all about the fun Henry used to have at your birthday parties.
Fun for some people.
And this is Maggie Winnock.
Maggie you must be an extraordinarily open minded person to have Henry Griffin as a boyfriend.
Oh, Tomba, I have been around Henry long to know that boyfriendville is one of two places I will never go.
Pretty and intelligent.
And what is the second place you dare not travel? The boys' locker room.
So, since the genetic link isn't too obvious how exactly are you two brothers? When the Griffins came to work in Liberia Henry enrolled in my school.
In a single day we became - what is the American expression? Beasties.
Oh he means besties.
No, I mean beasties.
We were pretty wild.
That is so very true.
So my brother, how have you been managing your new life? Well there's a lot more rules than I am used to.
Not that he pays attention to any of them.
Yes I suppose it would be harder for you than for me.
My father is a bit more formal than yours.
Hey how is your dad? You mean Ambassador Tolo? Are you okay? I get migraines.
A lot has changed since you have seen us last.
He is going to die when he sees you! Papa Sam is here too; in DC.
He is speaking at the museum tomorrow.
Jasper, where something nice.
Henry do your best and make sure to let Maggie know it's going to be the bomb.
Liberia was founded by freed American slaves making it unique among African nations with family ties that are deeply rooted in both nations.
Like both nations You never told me you know Samuel Tolo! Because I didn't know he was so famous.
He's only been nominated for a Nobel Peace prize.
Wow! When I knew him he was just Tomba's dad and I never had to wear a good for nothing straight jacket.
Good for nothing? It's my best sports jacket.
Or, it was when I was twelve.
And now to open the exhibit of Liberian American Art I am honored to welcome the Liberian ambassador to the UN, a very good friend of the National Museum Thank you whoever that was for reminding everyone to mute their phones, PDAs and iEverythings.
Please welcome Ambassador Samuel Tolo.
Thank you Dean Bartlett.
I am honored by the presence of my son, indeed of my sons whose friendship embodies this special relationship between our two nations.
Born and raised in Liberia my son Tomba has just this week enrolled at Smithson high school, where to our utter joy he was reunited with his dear childhood friend, Henry Griffin.
Back in Liberia there are powerful forces that are arrayed against any change that favors people over profits but when I see my sons together again I know that miracles still happen.
Please join me in toasting all of the youth of the world.
May we bequeath to them a better world than the one we found.
Here, here.
Papa! So much for my jacket.
I guess it was good for something.
Tell me he is okay.
His stomach is in a uproar but otherwise he is fine.
Do you think I can see him? Do you think you have a choice? Henry! My [inaudible.]
Let me look at you.
It's about time that your hippie parents gave you a real education.
How are you feeling? Accidental food poisoning; nothing to worry about.
No offence but are you sure? What are you suggesting? Whatever was in Mr.
Tolo's glass I don't think it was champagne.
Oh, here is the Henry that I know and love.
Henry, I want you to meet Bob Riggins, head of my security detail.
I am sure he will be most interested to hear what you have to say.
Well when Mr.
Tolo fell he dropped his glass and it spilled onto a candle, but instead of putting out the flames the liquid inside the glass ignited.
The glass spilled on the candle after the candle fell.
The tablecloth is polyester; the burning wick hit it and up it went.
I know what I saw.
My people checked every glass in the room; they found nothing.
You know me Henry; I don't have an enemy in the world.
Then why do you need a security detail? Standard precaution for all candidates travelling overseas.
Candidate? Of what? Henry, Papa is going to become the next president of Liberia.
President? Hey, let's not get ahead of ourselves; we still have an election to win.
Henry, I want you to meet my optimus primus Claude Overdoff.
He is raising awareness in the states for my campaign.
Now that's just a nice way of saying I am a lobbyist.
Do not hold that against me.
What if somebody doesn't want you to win? Henry; it's nothing more than travel fatigue.
Now Sam, if you are feeling up to it we have a few fundraising calls to make.
I never expected your dad to get into politics.
Look kid, I know you are trying to help but all you do is set people off when you cry wolf like that.
That's what he does best.
And sometimes there really is a wolf.
Uh huh.
Well not the time it turned out to be triplets crying simultaneously.
Or the head shrinker that was just the Smithson High psychologist.
And remember Henry that crocodile you wrestled in the Mana River.
Come on Tomba, that really was a crocodile.
Look I think I get the point.
Just back away and let the grownups do their jobs; okay? Sure, of course.
But what if he's wrong; what if someone is trying to hurt your dad.
Henry! Things are different now.
My dad is kind of a big deal.
I don't even get to see him anymore.
I can't do anything that might, you know, embarrass him.
Tomba! Who always taught me to follow my instincts? We were kids; we are not kids now.
My family is completely changed.
Still brothers? Brothers still.
Griffin's got one heck of a leg.
Remember puppy, make the team and you make Smithson proud.
First game this season is against the Arlington Panthers, a rivalry that goes back 100 years! Actually it only goes back 7 years.
It does? Hey Jasper, show us what you got! Oh come one! Come on! Catch the ball.
It's a pigskin Bartlett, not a buttered turkey.
What are you going to do when mama turns up the heat in the kitchen? Speaking of that mama, when is lunch? I'm okay.
I wish were in Liberia, running without a care, only a pack of angry soldiers at our back.
That was a narrow escape.
A whole night in that bush candle tree.
You don't think Henry is going to forget about us do you? Henry would never.
Besides how can you not like Tomba? He's the most magnetic guy I've everwe've ever met.
Why do I not feel better and why did you say that like you had inside information? Let's go, let's go, no time for rest.
You made me get dressed up to go dumpster diving? Shhh, the guard will hear you.
Did you hear that clang? It was the guard leaving.
It wasn't a door closing; it sounded like a trash can lid.
I don't hear anything now.
Oh On this cool crisp evening the wanderlust of Henry Griffin has led me togarbage.
This is so totally disgusting.
I know but the burnt tablecloth is the only clue I have right now.
Why didn't you ask Maggie to join in the fun? I did; she's busy.
When is Maggie ever busy? She said she is going through her SPAM.
Since when does Maggie eat meat? It's not that kind of SPAM; it's an email thing.
There's edible email? Can we just find this please and get out of here? Oh, now this is disgusting.
Somebody threw away a perfectly good apple.
You're not actually Really hungry.
Yeah.
Hey I found it.
Wait! Okay now I definitely heard something.
Run! Ahh.
.
Henry? Henry! Are you okay? Yeah.
C'mon Oh, geez Hey, hey, hey, hey! Who's that? Hey! We're too late; he got out through the fire door.
Nailed him pretty good though.
Great, he's gone.
Looks like he dropped something when he hit the wall.
This really stinks.
I know; as if football isn't scary enough now I am going to have nightmares of that crate crushing us.
I'm talking about this.
It smells really bad.
You pulled a charred, stained tablecloth out of a Its stink is the one thing that's not mysterious.
Hey did you find anything out? Proof that you shouldn't judge something by its appearance.
That dirty little gray pebble, the guys of the division of rare gems and stones polished it up a little Is that a? Yup, a raw, uncut diamond! That gross pistachio smell followed me back here.
That's what this smells like; burnt pistachios.
Wait; followed you back from where? Where I just was - the division of rare gems and stones.
The place reeked of it.
Why would this tablecloth smell like the division of rare gems and stones? It's an awesomely big coincidence.
It can't be; can it? Let's find out.
Right.
Who gets to hang onto the diamond; like for safekeeping or whatever? What did you say about an awesomely big coincidence? I was just thinking the same thing.
Boomerang welt? What's a boomerang welt? Well if you weren't stuffing your face with SPAM last night you'd know.
Let's check him out.
The vigilant Mr.
Riggins, always at his post.
How are you this fine morning.
Fine for some people I suppose.
You know that is an awesome suit.
Look even from the back the cut makes you look imposing.
Is that a 60-40 wool blend? Do I look like a tailor? I don't know.
Is your back bothering you today? Every day.
When I was ten I was a digger in the Liberian diamond mines.
A drill bit shattered and I still have a sliver in the back of my spine; a reminder to always watch my back, which is good advice for everybody.
Did that sound like a threat to you? Yes.
Did you feel a welt or a bump on his back; whoever it was I hit him pretty hard.
Dude I had like three seconds; what did you expect, a full cavity search? Work harder.
Only two days before the tryouts.
All right, come on.
Way to go Tomba Go defense, come on! I'm sorry; did you just say somebody tried to poison my dad with rotten nuts? No, with a cleaning solvent that's made from pistachio nuts.
I think somebody slipped it into your dad's champagne.
It's highly toxic; it's flammable and because it's an organic compound and it breaks down in the human body it's virtually undetectable.
Which is why it seemed like food poisoning.
It's kind of like the perfect murder weapon.
I told you; Riggins was wrong about that fire.
Riggins has been with my father for years; our whole family trusts him completely.
Maybe people change.
Maybe but you haven't.
My father needs to focus on this election.
Our job is to keep out of his way.
So I think you should keep your nut theory to yourself.
But if he is in danger Enough! Baskets.
Wonderful.
What's bothering you? Me? Not a thing.
Henry, you forget how well I know you.
Is there something you want to add about the other day? Just this.
The man in the loading dock dropped this.
In Liberia rough stones like this are called blood diamonds.
They are dug up from illegal mines by slave labor; children no older than you.
This is why I am running for president to shut down these mines.
Naturally the criminals would like to stop me by any means possible.
Then maybe your food poisoning wasn't an accident.
I told you not to bring that up again.
He didn't Tomba; I asked him.
Then as my friend you should have respected my wishes and not said anything.
Tomba why don't you bring in the new story quilt.
Bob, maybe you can show him where it is.
Sam we cannot ignore the possibility that Henry is right; an assassin could be tracking you.
I am calling my FBI contact; we might need more protection than we're getting from Riggins.
Henry I am going to ask you not to repeat any of this in front of Tomba.
It's the reason I brought him here to the states to go to school - to keep his life normal, to keep him safe.
If there was something wrong with Tomba you would want to know right? What a question; of course! I think his migraines are worse than he lets on.
Migraines? Tomba never spoke to me about these headaches.
Maybe he doesn't want to bother you about it.
He's my son; what would be more important to me than him? I'm pretty sure he thinks your election is.
All this time I have been trying to protect him, he's been trying to protect me.
Claude, I need to spend some time with my son before I fly out.
I don't know; your schedule is pretty tight.
But why don't we push your flight that way you can catch the team tryouts tomorrow.
Perfect.
Ah! Here is this exquisite handmade story quilt.
Good news son; I am going to be sticking around for your tryouts.
Don't! You might hit Papa Sam! Everyone stay still, nobody move.
Is your plan to play the flute? Snake charmers don't use flutes.
And the music is just for show since snakes don't have any ears.
The key is vibration.
Kid, let me handle this.
Not until I persuade him to spray his venom.
It's probably a dumb question but isn't it better if the venom stays inside the snake? When he sprays he's distracted; that's when to make the move.
Tomba, get your dad out of there! Tomba! Oh, I haven't done that in a while.
Thoughts class? Well we know the quilt came from a warehouse in Liberia.
Where are there more zebra cobras than Henry has flea bites.
The cobras could have slithered inside the quilt just before it was rolled up for shipping.
It wouldn't have had to eat for days, even weeks if it fell into hibernation.
Till it was rudely awakened about an hour ago.
Possibly.
But then again when Tomba went to get the quilt Riggins went with him.
I owe you an apology.
Nobody got hurt, that's what really matters.
Nevertheless I am being taken to awhat is it called? A secure location as a precaution.
Me too? Of course.
Claude, Mr.
Riggins disagrees.
Mr.
Tolo is the target, not Tomba.
He is safer if he isn't with us.
We'll put him up.
Son, come walk with me.
Mr.
Overdoff, I don't want to upset Mr.
Tolo but please keep a close eye on Riggins.
Yeah, he did seem awfully anxious to start shooting didn't he? Henry, thank you.
You know you are really helping the cause.
Oh don't forget this okay.
Mr.
Tolo needs to be able to get a hold of Tomba at all times.
Make sure he keeps it close.
Okay.
No! A hammock.
It's your fault you got me sleeping in one; now I can't sleep in anything else.
You are keeping your old life in balance with the new better than you think Henry.
Are you okay? I don't know what happened to me today.
I must have gone into a shock when I saw that cobra pop out.
I don't even remember it.
I bet you do remember this.
A mancala.
Our mancala.
If this board could talk We'd be in a mess of trouble.
I'm glad you saved it.
Good thing I did too.
After I left Liberia there were many times it saved me.
Blow dart shield, ice flow paddle, avalanche surfer.
I miss those adventures.
Jasper, you want to play a game? No, you know what; you and your bro have at it.
Jasper, in my country it's rude not to let your guests beat you silly in mancala.
Now sit down.
All right, all right.
This looks complicated.
So I bet you are pretty excited about your dad running for President.
It will be great for Liberia.
What about for you? It will be great for Liberia.
Sometimes I get so mad at him; sometimes I even wish something would happen.
You don't get to see him much? I will see him even less after he is elected, especially because I will be here going to school.
He is just doing what he thinks is good for you.
If he wants to know what is best for me he should ask me.
At least we're here together.
So maybe it's lucky our parents didn't want us around anymore.
Or maybe they just thought it was time for the little egrets to leave the nest.
Leaving and being pushed are two different things.
Your dad is calling late.
Tomba, get some sleep; we got tryouts tomorrow.
Tomba stop! Jasper, wake up.
Stop! That was super weird.
At first I thought it was just like another game that I also did not want to play and thenwas he sleep walking? Technically I think it's called sleep choking Jasper, what's going on up there? Okay I'll go confuse him until he goes back to bed and then we'll figure out what to do with him.
It's like the mancala board saved you again.
No Jasper, you did.
Thanks.
What's happening Tomba? What's happening to you? Inside this vial is the same poison solvent that made your dad sick.
Why was it in your gear bag? Can we go back to the other part? If I was sleep walking isn't it true that if a sleep walker is suddenly woken up he can become hostile and not know it? Maggie, am I right? Yeah that's true; that can happen.
Okay yeah, but you weren't awake.
We'll never know Jasper since you cracked me on the head.
Henry come on; why would I ever want to hurt you? Well that's what we're trying to figure out, because you did try to hurt him.
Henry is concerned that you might be trying to hurt your father too.
I mean didn't you say you wished something would happen to him so he wouldn't go through with the election? Yeah, in confidence.
And you are basing this craziness on what? Well when he was poisoned you were sitting right next to him.
You could have slipped anything into his champagne.
I told you I don't know where that vial came from.
Who brought his father the quilt that had the cobra in it? Guys, Riggins went to get that quilt too remember.
That's true.
Snakes, scorpions, spiders often turn up in overseas freight.
Okay what about the night when someone tried to crush us with that crate? What; what crate? Two nights ago at the loading dock when we found the tablecloth.
So where were you? None of your business.
I can help with that.
Two nights ago when I was busy, Tomba was with me.
I thought you were eating your spam folder.
I said deleting, not eating.
And I was but then I shot her a text We went bowling.
Time to go.
My dad is coming to watch me play American football.
Henry whatever happened last night I am sorry.
I must have had a nightmare or something but all this crazy talk about me, about Mr.
Riggins, my father - this is not the Henry I know.
Brothers are supposed to trust each other no matter what.
Wow.
How far over the line did I just step? A few hundred miles or so.
I can't believe I just accused Tomba of trying to kill his own father.
He's right, it really is crazy talk.
I really am the boy who cried wolf.
Don't be so down on yourself.
A lot of strange stuff's been going on.
When he didn't remember about the snake attack and he didn't remember trying to smother you with a pillow I wonder if maybe subconsciously he is trying to hurt his dad; he just doesn't know it.
Well I am all too conscious of following you boys into the locker room.
Besides, it's team tryouts see you puppies on the field.
I appreciate you trying to help me out jasper, I really do, but this is something I have to do for myself.
Well I Did you just see that? That is so strange.
What just happened? Look at his eyes; I don't think he knows.
Wait, just before Mr.
Tolo fell over at the luncheon, didn't the cell phone ring? I am reminding everyone to mute their phones, PDAs and And last night Tomba picked up a call but he didn't talk to anybody and the next thing I knew he was trying to smother me.
So what are you saying; that Tomba's cell phone is some kind of signal? No, I am saying it's some kind of trigger.
Can a ring tone really make you want to kill somebody? Emotional triggers can be any number of things.
When I went through a vision quest a shaman used mesquite scent to put me into a trance.
Three days later, used the same scent to pull me out.
I had no memory of what had happened.
Did you ever find out? I walked 100 miles through the Sonoran desert and when it was over I had two horn frogs and a baby hela monster in my pocket.
Plusthe worst headache of my life.
Like a migraine? Yes! You're right, he looks brainwashed.
There really is a zombie at Smithson high.
It's the perfect crime because the killer doesn't even know he's doing it.
If his cell phone is the trigger, is Riggins pulling it? That's what everyone will believe when it's over.
You! Tomba! Look at me; it's Henry, your friend, your brother.
He's lying Tomba.
You don't even have a brother.
What kind of a jackal would turn his son against his own father? The kind who is paid in diamonds - although one less thanks to you.
You dropped that crate on us.
It's too bad you didn't get the message.
But Tomba and his father willvery soon.
Please don't do this.
Tomba, Tomba? Don't worry - when it detonates he will snap out of it for a millisecond.
As Tomba likes to say these days, it's going to be the bomb.
Ten seconds after he pulls the pin boom! You won't get away with this.
I won't let you get away with it! I worked psych ops for the FBI for years; trust me, I will.
Listen up boys; today is dog day mid afternoon, the day some of you become dogs and join my pack while the rest become kennel puppies.
Now get out there; make Smithson proud and make sure your bite is worse than your bark.
Hey Maggie! Where's Tomba? And where is Henry and Jasper? If they miss tryouts there is no way they can make the team.
I have no idea; the last time I saw them they were getting dressed.
I mean they were going to get dressed.
Light a fire you lazy pups, you are late for tryouts! Henry? Jasper? If you're trying to get me to cross the border into jock strap land, the place where no decent girl dares go, it won't work.
Maybe it will.
Come on you guys, this isn't funny! It's especially not funny if you are naked.
In fact that would be the opposite of funny.
Assistant team manager has access to both her photographic memory and the play book in which is written the combination to the equipment cage, so this should be a piece of cake.
Aluminum bat versus steal lock.
Impossible.
What does Henry say? Impossible is a word found only in the dictionary of fools.
Oh! What happened; what's wrong? Was it Tomba? Doverworf? Believe me when I say I am not going to enjoy this.
Okay this one, maybe a little.
Oh, oh, not Doverworf, Overdoff.
Ow! He brainwashed Tomba and he's got a bomb.
Are you all right son? Okay everybody I want to see some big smiles.
Go, go, go! Tomba? Huh? You okay? I remember everything! Black diamonds! You have been disconnected permanently.
One, two, three, big smile? Let's go.
Your schedule waits for no one.
Excuse me, but my new lobbyist and advisor books no disagreements.
We do have a plane to catch sir.
I will walk you to your car.
Goodbye Henry.
Until the next calamity, bye bye.
Shall we? Ah, you sure you don't want to stay in America with me? Are you sure you don't want to go back to Liberia with me? We could go spear fishing, cliff diving and if you are not sick of it maybe even a little snake hunting.
I'm going to miss you Tomba but now that I think about it life is pretty eventful here in DC.
It was great getting to know you; I hope we get to see each other again, soon.
Actually I was looking for an interesting place for a summer internship.
Plenty of room back at the presidential palace for close friends.
There is even a bowling alley.
Ahh Ahh! Still brothers? Brothers still.
Where is Henry; he is the one that said to meet him down here? All I know is he said it was important.
What was that? Henry being attacked by [inaudible.]
's insane pet mastif? And that? Henry being attacked by insane lumberjack? Guess who just got cast as zombie slayer #3?