Veronica Mars s01e04 Episode Script

The Wrath of Con

Previously on Veronica Mars: Why does she hate me? She'd hate anyone she thought Duncan might love as much as her.
Friendly advice? Watch her.
She'll break the two of you up if she can.
Duncan Kane.
He used to be my boyfriend.
It's been a year since my best friend, Lilly Kane, was murdered.
That's my girlfriend.
Your friend.
Duncan's sister.
I think we could be more patient, Jake.
We all lost Lilly and we all miss her.
But that doesn't mean we stop living our lives.
The truth is gonna come out.
It doesn't add up.
You know that deep down inside.
- Flat? - Just as God made me.
- You need some help? I'm Troy.
- I'm Veronica.
Okay.
I'm - I'm really leaving now.
- Okay.
- Seriously.
- See you.
Okay.
Good night, all right? No more.
Good night.
You know, if we were the type of people who attended school functions this would probably be the time I'd ask you to homecoming dance.
Boy.
So, what did you think of him? Oh, hey.
You're home early.
Hey.
Did you run his license plate or did you get fingerprints? - I'm sorry, honey, what? - You know you're not fooling me.
Okay.
Veronica, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Oh, hey.
I forgot to tell you.
If he's gonna be kissing my daughter for Sweet dreams, honey.
Is that really necessary? He's taking up a lot of daddy-daughter time.
I hardly get to see you.
- I see you constantly.
- Oh, sure.
You see me, but we don't do anything.
You bought your homecoming dress without me? What? Why do you insist on suppressing your hotness? The world is ready for you, Veronica Mars.
You don't have to blend in.
I'm not trying to blend in.
I mean, none of this reflects your personality at all.
Why do you even have this? You are not a yellow cotton dress.
What am I? You're like You're You're red satin.
You are strapless red satin.
Look at this.
But there's no time for red satin, Lilly.
The dance is tomorrow.
Oh, God.
Wait a minute.
You know that we're really not going to the dance, right? Wait, what are you talking about? The dance is just a lame excuse for a new dress and a limo party.
Logan has got all the refreshments taken care of, so it's gonna be amazing.
No, I can't do that.
You know my dad.
He will find out, and I'll get crushed.
- You'll get grounded.
- Severely.
Whoop-dee-freaking-doo, Veronica.
I mean, grounding lasts, what, a week? You are gonna remember this fun we have for the rest of your life.
Trust me.
Let me help you with that.
You have to let me do something, Wallace.
Okay, that was the pile you just got finished alphabetizing, wasn't it? Actually, it was two piles.
Could I be a bigger spaz? Seriously.
Yes, you could have knocked over three piles.
I'm so sorry.
You would've been out of here two hours ago if it wasn't for me.
- Really not a problem.
- Okay, you can stop being nice.
- I know I ruined your whole night.
- Georgia.
Trust me.
You haven't.
I think I did something really stupid.
See, I got this e-mail.
This guy, Karl, is superrich, a trust-fund kid.
I guess he has a gambling problem and got into trouble so he sent the e-mail to a friend asking for help.
Overflowing toilets.
Use the faculty restroom.
Okay, first of all, a trust-fund kid doesn't send a message from grrrantastic-tech.
com domain.
That's pure nerd.
"Hey, I know we've not been in contact for a while, but I'm hoping you can help.
" He was offering a 200-percent interest.
I only had to loan him the money for two weeks until his 21 st birthday, when he gets his trust fund.
So you told him you'd front him the cash.
Yeah, and everything would've been fine if he paid me two weeks ago.
Everything's going to be fine.
Okay, Georgia? - We'll get him.
- Will we, now? Hi, Karl, it's Amber.
I got an e-mail from you, I guess by mistake but I think I can help you.
Give me a call.
555-0196.
And I'm late for Bio again.
Ten percent of whatever I recover.
Hi, you've reached Amber.
Leave me a message.
Thank you.
Did I tell you? - Last day to buy homecoming tickets.
No homecoming tickets for the dance will be sold after that time.
Kicking off the homecoming festivities: The dedication of the Lilly Kane Memorial Fountain.
The Kane family would like to invite all students and faculty to attend the tribute and celebrate the memory of one of Neptune High's most beloved students.
And in other news You and me, Thursday night.
I'm thinking mini golf.
It's what all the kids are doing.
But you don't golf.
My dad wants to meet you.
That's cool.
I'll pick you up at the door.
I can't do the "beep and wave," but that's no problem.
My dad's a little intense.
Don't worry.
I give good parent.
And just so I can make the appropriate arrangements homecoming is a go, right? This should make me happy Yeah.
Yeah.
It'll be fun.
- The big dance being a staple of every high school girl's fantasy.
I've already lived the dream.
Everything else seems like a cheap reminder.
Lilly, dear, everyone is waiting.
What is she doing? How long does it take to put on a dress? Honey, you know your sister.
It's not an entrance if she's on time.
Maybe you should go and help her.
I think she's got it covered.
I believe Keanu Reeves said it best when he said: All right, let's make with the pictures before the glitter rubs off.
Okay.
- Would you? Please? - Oh, yeah, of course.
- Okay.
- You all look very nice.
Lilly, could you? All right.
I'm only young once.
How many braless years do I have left? All right.
Let's go.
- Be careful.
- Be safe out there.
Ladies and gentlemen, Veronica Mars.
I've talked to that girl more today than I have in the past four months combined.
- Her pain is your pleasure? - Hey, hey, I'm the cavalry.
I get to save the day.
We are gonna save the day, right? Hello? Oh, yeah, this is Amber.
Oh, my God, hi.
Of course I can meet you today.
What time? What are you doing? My mother thought it'd be nice to have a video tribute of Lilly for the dedication.
- What, she wanted you to do it? - No, my dad did.
He wanted someone who knew her.
You want me to do it, man? You know I'm awesome at that stuff.
Come on, let me do it.
I wanna do it.
- Thanks, man.
- Yeah.
Is that him? I don't think so.
- Amber? - Karl? That's me.
You must think I'm the biggest loser, sending my friends e-mails begging for money.
- I don't know when this became my life.
- Well, gambling is an addiction.
You know, it is, Amber.
Thank you for understanding.
You're saving my life, literally.
That's not him.
But I think Karl had on the same outfit.
He even had the same ugly backpack.
- Stay right here.
- Be careful, Wallace.
So just so that we're clear the deal is, I give you $3000 this week, and you give me $6000 next week? On my 21 st birthday.
That's the day my trust fund is unlocked.
So who do I make the check out to? I'm sorry.
Didn't I tell you it had to be in cash? - Did you? - Remember? I can't deposit anything at the bank because all my accounts are frozen until my birthday.
- Okay, I'll It must be the hair.
Blond.
Should we meet back here tomorrow? - Tomorrow.
Same time? - Perfect.
Karl I can trust you, right? You can trust me, Amber.
Hand to God.
And where do con men go when they're done conning for the day? To a funky bohemian theater for an avant-garde staging of a Beckett play, naturally.
You've gotta be kidding me.
- Hey, Tino.
- Mikey.
Thank you.
Hey, Jimmy, you were great.
- Hi.
- How are you? Good, how are you? Listen.
I'll catch you guys later.
- Hey, man, nice job.
- Hey.
Thanks, man.
What are you doing here? I'm a huge Beckett fan.
- Hand to God.
- Wait a minute.
This is part of the show, right? You're not gonna get me like that.
T! Liam! You guys can come out.
I ain't buying it.
So is this part of the same episode, or am I getting paid again? - What are you talking about? - Duped.
- You're telling me that Duped is a show? - I thought you were a part of this.
It's a reality show where people get duped into doing things like giving a stranger their car or money.
- There were no cameras.
You're not supposed to see them.
That's the whole point, right? There's no show, Jimmy.
What are you talking about, "There's no show"? I auditioned.
I got cast.
It's a scam.
My friend Georgia was duped about two weeks ago out of $6000 by some other trust-fund Karl.
No.
How did you find out about this? There was an ad in Back Stage West.
Open call, but, you know, I'm between agents right now.
They just called to tell me I got the job.
Do you still have the number on your cell phone? Wait.
You're telling me there's no show? For real? This isn't a dupe? There it is.
Hey! What about my SAG points? A payphone that doesn't accept incoming calls.
Shocker.
From a place called Gameland? I guess it's a cybercafé, but I'll check it out.
No, it's not a cybercafé.
It's a gaming club.
It's, like, a bunch of computer nerds trying to blow each other up.
Only girls they see in there are Japanimated.
So you're not gonna really blend.
So I won't blend.
Thanks.
- I have one word: Ownage.
- Like I care.
I just fragged you.
And I just fragged you again.
Can you watch my stuff? Yeah.
Grrrantula, a gamer? E- mail from Grrrantastic-tech.
A coincidence? I think not.
Gamegirl.
Now let's see if I can't get Grrrantula's attention.
Stop killing your own team.
Hey, cut the crap.
Come on, loser, show yourself.
Hey, I'm on your team, lamer.
Wow, I'm really bad at this.
Ownage! Hey, it's not ownage! I'm on your team! Devlin.
- What was the first name? - Here, it'll be faster.
It was hiding under the Qs.
Grant's ID indicated he was living in Lannigan Hall at San Diego State a university known for liberal arts, its picturesque campus and its parties.
It's not going to work.
You can't take the cool out of me.
Look, pocket protector, and I'm still full of pimp juice.
Shouldn't you be a little bit more somber for your poor scammed girlfriend? You know she's not my girlfriend, so why are you trying to play it like that? - Like what? - Like you wanna have this conversation about whether I like her or whatever like we just got out of cheerleading practice.
Guys don't do that.
Okay.
If a guy likes someone, he just likes them.
He doesn't need to have a five-hour talk about it.
So you like her, we're just not talking about it? Yes.
- Do you like her a lot? - Yes, I like her a lot.
Yes, I go two floors out of my way between classes so I can see her.
Yes, I volunteered to reorganize an entire filing system of attendance crap just so I could be in the same room with her.
- You happy? - I still think you're a badass.
And I am.
And nobody's gonna buy me as a nerd.
You've been bought.
I called the resident advisor and told him you were a prospective freshman.
And they believed you because? Because I do a surprisingly convincing admissions assistant.
But tonight, you lucky boy, I'm all nerd hag.
Okay, let's get this party started, because I am hungry for gratitude.
Okay, it's my turn.
Logan.
Truth.
What did you think of Veronica the first time you saw her? I don't know.
I thought she was hot.
I was 12 when you moved here.
Like you weren't working it in your shorts and knee socks.
That was my soccer uniform! Whatever! It totally worked! Okay, Lilly.
- Dare.
- Shocker.
Okay, kiss someone in this limo.
Come on, man.
Come on.
Here we go.
- Oh, no.
- A little girl-on-girl action! Dude, that's my sister and my girlfriend.
Yeah, dude, like that one's not in the rotation.
Dude, this is my dad's tux.
I didn't know, man.
Here! - You're so dead! - I got you, baby! - Come on, baby! - I got you.
Oh, my God! - Our boyfriends are all class.
- Yeah.
Tick, tock.
Very cute girl in need of our help right now.
Yeah, so we're pretty chill around here.
I mean, there's rules and stuff, but it's mostly like "Don't light stuff on fire, don't get caught with drugs," you know.
Cool.
Hey, I think I know that guy.
Grant? Yeah, he's pretty famous around here.
He's, like, a genius or something.
Him and that bouncer-looking dude over there.
They call them the Silicon Mafia.
Basically, around here, these guys are legend.
This dude got caught looking at Grant's laptop screen.
The next day he was put on academic probation because his GPA dropped from a 3.
8 to a 1.
5.
Overnight on the university computer system.
And they have a security system.
Like, with laser beams.
I think they're building robots or something.
I felt the wall in the dorm next to theirs, and it was way hot.
Do you know how many grow lights they probably have? The walls are so hot because of a million-dollar bank of computers.
That they bought with their weed money.
Is it okay for people to be shooting Roman candles down the stairways? Man.
You know? - So, what do you plan on majoring in? - Math? Math? Wow.
So, what are you into? Chaos theory, PDEs, adjoint methods? What's your thing? I'm pretty interested in adjoint methods.
Right now.
For error estimation or duality? I know this is gonna sound kind of weird, but I'm interested in both.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Poincaré Conjecture or Fermat's Last Theorem.
Which better defines geometry of three-dimensional space? What the hell are you doing? They told me this was Sri Lanka.
I wanted a coconut toddy.
- What the hell's going on? - We had an intruder.
How'd you open the door? - I don't know.
I just opened it.
- That's impossible.
It's always locked.
Grant? And the real way the Silicon Mafia finances their empire becomes clear.
- Hey.
- I don't feel so good, Papa Bear.
- "Papa Bear"? - Never happened.
My first college party.
Drinking pina coladas with a dude and talking about math.
They've gotta be hiding something big in that dorm room to have that much security.
An alarm that sends a message to your cell phone? What's wrong with a dead bolt? Wow, you've got it bad.
Nothing bad about this, my friend.
Mom, if you don't put that camera down, I won't go out there.
What part of my ignoring you makes you think you're welcome? What are you doing? Assembling the world's most boring memorial video.
Ballet choir recital, debutante crap Girl Scouts.
Memories both misty and watercolored.
It's Lilly as a long-distance commercial.
Well, it isn't really about Lilly, is it? God, this would piss her off.
Come on, Veronica, it's your turn.
Do not lame out.
Okay, okay, okay.
I've never gone skinny-dipping.
- What? That is just unacceptable.
We're gonna have to do something about that, Veronica Mars.
Okay.
All right.
I've never taken matters into my own hand in the boys' locker room after watching cheerleader tryouts.
Dude, you are so dead.
Very pervy, Duncan.
- I'm a little impressed.
- You must drink, comrade.
Tell me that was before we started dating.
Of course.
I've never I've never seen my parents having sex.
- No way.
No way.
- Yeah, I went into their room to borrow Mom's sweater.
- Shut up.
- Mom was on top of Dad.
Hold on! - I don't wanna see! She was like this.
Watch.
She was like this, she was: Lilly, that is so wrong.
I think Dad probably thought so too.
I've got one.
I I have never not had sex.
- Wait.
What does that even mean? - That means drink if you are a virgin.
What the hell.
- Wow, Duncan.
I'm shocked.
- You are so cool.
- Oh, so cool.
- Sweet.
"I love you.
I love you.
" Oh, yeah.
You're my girlfriend.
I don't think this really constitutes quality time.
I've never loved you more.
It's a good cause.
These guys ripped off a friend at school.
And there's a World's Greatest Dad trophy in your future.
We were flying over with heat-seeking scanners came across some high-intensity discharge lamps.
Looks like someone's cultivating a little Mary J.
Mind if I come in? - What's going on? - What's your name, son? Grant Winters.
- Any drugs on the premises, Mr.
Winters? - Caffeine.
- No, sir.
- You sure about that? Plants, seeds any cannabis seedlings of any kind? - No.
Look, we don't have any drugs, okay? And don't you need, like, a warrant or something? What do I need a warrant for? There's nothing here.
Come on.
- Why did you let him in? - You're the one who let him in! Wasn't the alarm on? It's supposed to be on even when we're here.
- I'm heading to the snack bar.
- Set the alarm.
Yeah? Oh, my God.
I'll be right there.
So Veronica tells me Well, actually, she hasn't told me anything about you.
- I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.
- Neither do I.
If you have questions or you want a list of references or anything - You're going to the homecoming dance? - Yes, sir, if that's okay.
Of course.
And after the dance? Well, I think that Veronica said that she had to be right home after.
Yeah, good.
And you're gonna stay for the whole dance.
You're not gonna leave early and go to a party or a hotel and still make it back by curfew? No.
I mean the whole point of going to the dance is to go to the dance.
Good.
Good.
So you won't mind, then, that I canceled your reservation at the Four Seasons? I'm here, I'm here.
So who's ready for mini golf? - Hello? - Hi.
Grant Winters.
This is Admissions calling.
Grant, someone from Admissions wants to talk to you.
- Grant Winters.
- Bill Smith, Admissions.
- Are you free Thursday night? - Sorry, we're really not interested in showing some pro fro around campus.
- Oh, that's a shame.
We wanted to land this student before MIT snatched him up.
And he asked for you and your crew specifically.
Crew? Yeah, I'm sure he did.
Sorry, but We're providing three tickets to Game Lord for a private screening of a new game.
- Maybe you've heard of it.
- "The Matrix.
" It's the "Matrix Online" game.
Really? How's it going? It's very Wonder Years.
Celeste will love it.
So I was going through some of my stuff, and I found this.
- What is it? - It's not a violin recital.
I got a lot of work to do.
Yeah.
No, me too.
We're gonna see the new "Matrix Online" game.
We're gonna see it! Did you see the video posted with the rag-doll effects? The physics engine is killer.
- What are you doing? - Just text-messaging my girlfriend.
Tell her how psyched I am.
In the past 24 hours of surveillance, this is what I've learned.
The so-called Silicon Mafia has developed a game that will make "Quake" look like "Asteroids.
" They've raised their start-up capital by swindling needy and greedy college and high school students using a variation of the Nigerian scam.
With no investors, they stand to make millions.
Unless, somehow, someone trips them up along the way.
I really hate these guys.
What the hell? I can't believe there's no party.
I feel so duped.
- What the hell? - It's the alarm on the backup drives.
- I set the room alarm.
- Why didn't it go off? You can't get to the backups without getting in.
The backups are fine.
What the hell? Oh, my God.
The backup drives.
"Hey, buddy, I was hoping you could help me.
I'm coming into my trust fund next week, and if you give me $ 7600 tomorrow night I'll give you your hard drives back.
" Hello, boys.
Let me guess what you're thinking.
"Paybacks are a bitch.
" Yeah, something like that.
Well, here, you're the math whiz.
- It's all there.
- Like we trust you.
Yeah, I think that's all of it.
- Our commission's included? - Yup.
- Ownage.
- Can we have our backup drives now? You need to lay off the caffeine, Grant, because you're downright testy.
Your backups are in the garbage can next to the bench.
Yeah, you might have to dig a little.
It just doesn't seem fair.
I keep thinking about all the people they scammed and how they don't have kick-ass friends.
Did you know there's a whole anti-fraud agency in the FBI? I guess it's a big deal.
And I was shocked to see how interested they were in the information I had on Liam and Grant.
Game over.
- I got one.
I got one.
- You got one? Oh, my God.
They called the cops.
They called my dad.
This is, like, the best dance ever! What seems to be the problem, officer? Lilly.
- Are you drunk? - Not so much anymore.
You are absolutely unbelievable.
Why do you insist on humiliating me? Two kids both out all night and one getting screamed at? Because I know you, Lilly.
Any trouble this family has had, you've been at the root.
Mom, it's my fault.
It was my idea.
Listen, both of you.
Inside the house.
Come on.
- Sorry, Dad.
- We'll talk at home.
Jake, Celeste, thanks for the coffee.
Thank you to the Neptune High Orchestra.
I know if Lilly were here she would have been moved by that rendition.
Lilly really loved this place.
So it's only fitting that as long as this fountain remains here, a part of Lilly will always be here.
And you, her peers, will always be reminded what a generous, kind, sweet girl she was and how she embodied Pirate pride and the school motto: "Service, loyalty, honor.
" Hello, America.
You wanted Lilly? You got her.
Now sit back and enjoy the ride.
Yeah! You love me, don't you? Hey, Weev, let's hit it.
Weevil.
Yeah, yeah.
That's right, man.
Let's go.
The night's young.
Do you mind if we make a stop? - There's something I need to do.
- I don't think that that's a good idea.
We should probably go right to the dance.
I told your Dad.
You have to stay here.
Don't ask me, man.
I stopped trying to figure her out day one.

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