Veronica Mars s03e04 Episode Script
Charlie Don't Surf
- This is a bad idea.
- No, it's not.
You think it's not because you came up with it.
Ergo, how could it be bad? Math, sweetie.
Me plus idea equals good.
You were expecting Sidney Poitier? No jokes, no innuendos, no quips.
Don't even think of alluding to having seen me naked having touched any part of my body that doesn't have fingers.
Can I mention that my eyes adored you? I got it.
No calling you bobcat, no talk of milky thighs.
- Go home.
- Veronica, I won't say anything bad.
So how's school going, Logan? I'm actually not hating it.
My grades aren't Hearst took him in late because of his high test scores.
- What classes are you taking? - Where is this going? My endgame is to find out what classes Logan is taking.
Just core stuff.
You know, Sociology, Freshman Comm.
Mass Comm, which is kind of coming in handy.
You know, apparently, being the offspring of a murderer doesn't get old.
I'm getting all these interview requests.
Larry King wants me to come on with O.
J.
's kids.
- Are you thinking about it? - No.
- Why's that? - Time-out.
Can we stay in the shallow end, please? I'm sorry.
I think it's a good call.
I was just curious as to your reasons.
I didn't realize I had to have the conversation vetted.
- I would've been happy to veto questions.
- That would've been nice, huh? We could've packed a lunch and made a day of it.
- Missed opportunity if you ask me.
- A mistake you can learn from.
What then exactly am I allowed to ask Logan about? Hobbies? Surfing.
- What's the attraction? - Don't answer that.
- I got it.
- I'm trying to.
Mac's in Bakersfield.
Her great-aunt died, and she got the call last night.
Look, you live with one of my best friends.
I'm gonna keep coming here, and having doors shut in my face is gonna get - old.
I have surprisingly strong legs and an hour before my next class.
What? You wanna have a rap session? Maybe in our p.
j.
's? We can eat brownie batter and do each other's nails.
Do you really think that when I walked in here that night I thought: "Look, Parker's getting raped.
- Now, where are those movie tickets?" - No.
You just figured the whore was getting her freak on.
So you're really mad I thought you were a whore? Because lots of people think I'm a whore.
Don't pretend for a second to understand how I'm feeling.
I understand exactly what you're feeling, Parker.
I've been understanding since Shelly Pomroy's end of the year party summer of 2004.
I'd give you the details, but they're a little fuzzy.
I didn't - I had no idea.
- Not something I open with.
But now that I've got your attention, I will find out who raped you.
That's job one.
Parker.
Hi, I'm Nish.
I'm the editor of the Hearst Free Press Veronica.
- It's good to see you.
- And that's where we differ.
I was hoping we could talk.
I'd be a little careful.
Is she a friend of yours? Parker I'm doing an article on the serial rapes.
- I've interviewed most of the other victims.
- I don't want to be interviewed.
One question, then.
You were at a Theta Beta sorority party the night you were attacked.
Do you remember seeing any of the Pi Sig brothers there? The first tier of your trust fund was intended to last until your 21 st birthday, Logan.
At the rate you're burning through it, you've got 14 months.
- Maybe.
- Yeah, I looked at the statement.
I should be getting more money.
You think because you still have checks, you still have money.
I'm not saying I deserve more.
I'm saying there's money missing.
It's complicated.
I'll talk to my lawyer.
See if he can't figure it out.
I'll do you one better.
We'll send all your financial records right over.
You're not showing me porn.
- No.
- Is it a fuzzy newborn kitten? Look, the meeting with Avi Kaufman bean counter to the stars, didn't go very well.
My trust fund's evaporating faster than it should.
I think he's skimming off the top.
My dad has got a great accountant.
I need more of a private detective to help me nail this guy to the wall.
Well, show me the records, I'm sure I can make sense of Go get them, bobcat.
Hi.
I don't have an appointment.
Do you remember me, by any chance? From Judge Crawford's Christmas parties, of course.
- Harmony, right? - Right.
You helped me with my tire that one year.
And you thanked me profusely every year after that.
Sit.
Sit, please.
What can I do for you? Well you ever heard this one before? I think my husband's having an affair.
- You didn't know I was married.
- I didn't.
Everyone's always surprised.
You can wear a ring, but if the husband's never around So, what makes you think he's involved with someone? Working late, mysterious calls, last-minute business trips.
I keep looking for the lipstick on his collar just so it's full-on trite but then there's the fact that we're in a loveless marriage.
He's a kind of glorified roommate these days who happens to be a fantastic father.
I had settled in to that being my life.
Happy daughter, façade of happy marriage Then you got a couple "don't wait up" calls.
I can't just leave for me.
I need a reason.
Do I sound awful? Russian literature, between Tolstoy and Turgenev.
I liked the other place you worked better.
Think maybe that's because we had food there? Did you see this? There was a Pi Sig event the night of every attack.
There's a little graphic and everything.
Colored ink, it must be true.
Claire was at the Pi Sig haunted house the night she was raped.
I trust Nish as far as I can throw her.
But I can't throw those frat boys very far either.
I'm feeling pretty anxious to give it a try though.
Can I help you? Do you know which one of these is Veronica's? Guess so.
This is so freaky.
I've totally been to this complex before.
We had to pick up our maid here once.
Is Veronica home? Honey.
It's like your little kitchen area, huh? It's so awesome.
If you're not gonna shoo it out with a newspaper, I'm stepping on it.
Hey, buddy.
Hope it's not weird me just showing up.
I can't believe I've known you forever and you've never had me over.
You left a flaming bag of dog poo in front of our door one time.
That was kind of a play date.
Yeah.
- You need me to - It's fine.
- You guys are cute.
- Dick, why are you here? You saw that article about the Pi Sig house, right? Claire gets raped after one of our parties and suddenly the school's all in a bunch.
There's this hearing scheduled to try to get us kicked off campus.
- And that's where you come in.
- I get to do the kicking? You get to be the spy who loves me.
The guys were impressed on how you cleared the frat of the rape last year.
Were they? That means so little.
They knew we had, like, this connection, so they sent me here to hire you.
We need you to do your Veronica thing, prove it's a pack of lies.
Is it a pack of lies? We're a frat.
Why rape the cow when you're swimming in free milk? Maybe you guys should hire someone you don't disgust.
They don't care about the disgusted thing.
They want you.
I'll need full access to the fraternity.
I need to know everything about the night.
My fee is 1500 up-front.
Really? That's what you guys make? That's the Pi Sig rate.
Okay.
And you'll need to leave right now before I change my mind.
Who knew that when opportunity knocked it would look like a horny surfer? - Thank you.
- And he hand-delivered an invitation into the belly of the beast.
- Hello.
- Hi, it's Keith Mars.
Can I guess? She's blond, 22, no visible pores and pierced navel.
Nope.
Nope, looks like he's really working late.
I've been parked by his car all night.
Really? The office on the bottom floor, right? Yeah.
So you're just sitting there looking at his car? Yeah.
It's glamorous, I know.
At least it's your job.
I did it a couple of weeks ago for sport.
I was so sure he was cheating I decided to follow him.
I wore a hat and sunglasses.
Not my finest hour.
Yeah, well, no more I Love Lucy reruns for you.
Hey, we should have a bet.
If she's blond and 22, you owe me a beer.
- Good night, Harmony.
- Good night.
My accountant said she'd be finished looking over Logan's files this afternoon.
Snazzy.
Going to church or you addressing the Junior League? Bland is the new hot.
Is it possible your boyfriend's financial problems are just his champagne wishes and caviar dreams biting him on the ass? One solid-gold foosball table and a couple of manservants and suddenly he's spendy.
Did you trip and fall onto sandalwood musk and a hint of spicy citrus or is that cologne? It's aftershave.
I'm going to traffic court.
Sexy traffic court? Nice shoes.
You changed your major to Women's Studies? Yuk it up, fancy pants.
Hello? In here.
I hope it's okay.
I only have 20 minutes so I brought lunch.
Oh, I'm booked pretty solid too.
Oh, it's a good thing I brought a whole pie, then.
Thank you.
That's very thoughtful.
So The woman who dropped Marvin off is named Carly Hearn.
- How about that? - I take it you know her? Yeah, Carly works at Riley International.
Marvin does a lot of business with them.
He once told me she's the smartest woman he's ever met.
I only saw her dropping him off.
It's possible it was just business.
I'm having such a weird reaction to this.
I'm supposed to be jealous, right? I think you should probably just feel however you're feeling.
I feel strangely impressed and relieved.
I was sure it was going to be a cocktail waitress putting herself through massage school.
My daughter would want me to buy tank tops with bootylicious across the front.
I think Carly went to Yale.
- Brown.
- Still.
You ever tie your husband's tie? When entering a frat house full of accused rapists the pantsuit is a solid wardrobe choice.
It's fashion's way of saying, "Move along, nothing to see here.
" Hey, you better leave me a slice, bro.
- Hey, Veronica.
- Yeah, hey.
So I'll need to know where each frat brother was at the time of the rape.
Isn't the best way to clear us to figure who really did it? That's what I'm doing.
I need to know who saw what.
Yeah, fine.
Whatever you want.
The newspaper said the last thing Claire remembered from the night of her attack was buying a drink in front of the haunted house.
Do you remember who was serving drinks? It was Charleston.
You don't wanna talk to him though.
He's an idiot.
- Your last name is Chu? - Yeah.
- Charleston Chu? - My first name's really Xiang.
Look, I just poured flat soda into plastic cups.
I don't know anything about the rape.
- Come on.
- Wow, I didn't even have to ask.
Did you work the stand all night? I guess.
I don't remember every second.
So, yeah, I probably served her a drink.
Doesn't mean I raped her.
No.
It just means you're the most likely suspect, token.
And when the media circus starts, you know, like it did at Duke with that whole lacrosse rape scandal who do you think they're gonna get to do the perp walk on the 6:00 news? You're supposed to be working for us.
Okay, wait.
Wait up.
Wait.
All right, there's There's more.
Once the bank for the refreshments reached $500, we were supposed to bring it to Chip's room, because he's in charge of the cash.
So I did.
But his door was locked.
I heard noises, so I started knocking and then Then Chip, like, whips open the door all pissed off and out of breath.
Because that's where his StairMaster is? He was buck-naked and sweaty.
- Like I caught him in - Flagrante? No, in the middle of sex.
- Can you believe what's going on outside? - No more rapes at Hearst.
Women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
They're here.
Women's safety first.
- You arrested the wrong guy? - Totally wrong guy.
I marched him away, he didn't say a word.
Like he was relieved just to have an excuse to get out of the house.
Now, that was a rocky marriage.
Hey, Veronica.
- Hey, yourself.
- Veronica, the liberator of lobsters? I never knew.
A single lobster, once, from the Charthouse, when I was seven.
He tells that to all the new clients.
You know, Harmony, I'm actually expecting another appointment coming in.
Of course.
- Okay, I'll talk to you.
- Yeah, I'll be in touch.
Thanks.
- Bye-bye.
Bye.
- Bye.
I spoke to my accountant.
Your business manager doesn't appear to be stealing anything.
The Echolls estate contributes $ 10,000 a month to an organization called Aaron's Kids.
And that's where the missing money is going.
At Aaron's Kids? Is that my dad's pathetic excuse for a charity? I hope that helps clear things up for you.
Hey.
Sorry I took so long.
I went out for Thai and ended up getting a massage.
I should have been more specific.
Your dad's charity, Aaron's Kids was a nonprofit corporation that shut down years ago.
Aaron's Kidz, spelled with a Z, is still in business, however.
Its chairman is Avi Kaufman, your dad's business manager and this Aaron's Kidz isn't even remotely a charity.
Do you think I should dangle Kaufman out a window by his ankles? How about you numb your fury with grease and fat till I can do a little more homework? Reason, huh? I'm not sure I like it.
Here's a fun thing to say to your beau.
Mind if I go put the screws to someone? Go ahead, screw your brains out.
Whoa, what happened to your mitts? Let me guess.
It involved the cookie jar.
I was working the Boo Room at the haunted house.
- Boo Room? - You know, it's a staple of haunted houses.
It's pitch-black, we dress like cat burglars, jump out, yell boo.
So your hands ended up bruised how? I was crouched down, and one of the guys stomped on them.
Okay, next question.
This one's tougher.
Who were you knocking boots with that night? The night Claire was raped, you were naked and sweaty Iocked in your room with some mystery girl.
Charleston's pretty chatty, huh? That boy scares easy.
A problem is just an opportunity in disguise.
Tell me who you were with, I'll confirm it, you're in the clear.
No, I'm not.
I could tell you, but the girl I was with will never, in a million years, admit to it.
Okay, I gotta go.
Call me later, okay? It's sad to see him go, but it's nice to watch him leave.
Do I know you? I'm friends with your boyfriend, Charleston and your boy on the side, Chip.
- What are you talking about? - You and Chip.
Weren't you his date to the haunted house? I hear you went as the beast with two backs.
- No.
Why would you even say that? - Look, you're Chip's alibi.
You'll have to own up to it or things will really go south for Chip and the Pi Sigs.
I don't need to own up to anything.
- You're torturing me.
- Without even trying? - God, I'm good.
- My brothers are all sorts of pissed.
They think you're coming after them instead of trying to find the raper.
Do you mean rapist? Learn the terminology.
What happened to your hand? Window fell on it.
Whatever.
Look, people are really starting to think we rape.
The hearing is in two days.
So go work your little pixie spy magic and fix this.
Logan said you showed up at his place the night of Parker's rape.
All wrecked.
Saying you screwed up.
Whipped guys make the worst friends.
So Dick, a rapist? Two in the same household? Possibly.
Quarterbacks seem to run in the Manning family.
I know Logan's worried about being genetically predestined for antisocial behavior.
I suppose that's a question best left to the social scientists.
Right now, it's time to figure out where his money is going.
Hi, can I speak to Ryan Douglas, please? It's about his interest in Micardo Enterprises.
This new case is keeping you out late.
You look wiped out.
What you up to? I was trying to seal the embezzlement case against Logan's business manager.
I discovered something else entirely.
Who's Charlie Stone? Perfect timing.
Lonely telescope guy's getting tired of me just mooning him.
I need to talk to you.
I followed the trust money.
All the way down the rabbit hole.
The payments are going to a person named Charlie Stone.
Do you know who that is? No, should I? Yeah, probably.
Charlie Stone is your brother.
Your dad's business manager buried him pretty deep.
You weren't supposed to find out.
No one was.
I Googled him.
All I learned was that he teaches at a private school in San Juan Capistrano but he is in the book.
Here's his number.
What am I supposed to do? Hi, this is Charlie.
Please leave a message.
Hi.
Charlie it's Logan Echolls calling.
Parker, hey.
Save the performance.
I know you're working for the Pi Sigs.
I'm not working for the Pi Sigs.
I'm working for you.
I'm using this opportunity to get close to them so I can figure out what they're up to.
You're trying to find who raped me by hugging it out with Dick Casablancas? - You know Dick? I gave him my number at orientation.
I actually thought he was cute.
Mac said he showed up at our room the night before and was pounding on the door, looking for me.
Did you tell anyone? When I talked to the sheriff, I didn't know.
He's not as harmless as he looks.
Nancy said he chased her out of the haunted house screaming at her, calling her a bitch.
- Why was he screaming at her? Next time you guys are snuggling on the frat house porch, ask him.
I would if I could, but for now, Gerry is still the boss.
Does he respect your opinion? I think he sees Joe as some kind of a side project.
He thinks he's going to get Joe to turn around.
Based on what? Projections he came up with at bingo.
I don't know.
He's one of those people who thinks the years he's logged are in direct proportion to how smart he is.
Was he really? Yeah, unfortunately, because I really liked him.
Can I talk to you? You a little busy doing funnel shots with the Pi Sigs? Aren't you? Heard you went to their haunted house.
That must've been fun.
Did you go as a hypocrite? I went because we heard there was a grope room.
And you were looking for a little grab-assing? A little poetic justice.
They set up this Boo Room so they could fondle girls as they went through.
So we dressed up as rats and strategically put rattraps on all of our gropeable parts.
Okay, that is pretty genius.
I was in the room all of three seconds before Dick Casablancas was caught in one of my traps.
Their bruised hands.
It must've hurt, because he ran me out of the party, screaming.
Was Claire with you? No.
That's when I lost track of her.
I looked for her forever, and I thought I saw her later on down the street from the party, but it wasn't her.
- You're sure? - Yeah.
I yelled for her.
Nothing.
The sheriff knows all of this.
So the girl you thought was Claire, where did you see her? Nancy thought she saw Claire on the street outside of this convenience store.
It's worth making sure she wasn't right the first time.
- Hi, I was wondering - I'm not hiring.
Actually, I was wondering if you were working last Saturday night.
I work every Saturday night.
What else am I gonna do? Do you remember seeing this girl? Her name is Claire.
Yeah, I saw her.
So drunk she could barely stand.
If your parents knew what you kids really do here And you're sure it was her? She came in with a guy.
She's falling asleep on my magazine rack.
He's trying to scrape together change to buy prophylactics.
Then he's all mad because he can't use a credit card unless he spends $ 15.
So I sent him next door to the ATM.
They came back later.
He bought his raincoats, one less bastard child conceived by morons.
Everyone's happy.
Thanks.
I started bugging my Mom about who my Dad was when I was, I don't know, six, seven.
Then on my tenth birthday my Mom takes me to see Aaron Echolls in Thought Police.
She points to the screen, she says, "That's the guy.
That's your dad.
" She took you to see Thought Police on your birthday? Did she hate you? I'm like, "Don't screw with my head.
I'm ten, I can't deal with the news that the guy mind-wrestling with Stallone on-screen knocked you up.
" She was a stewardess when she met Aaron.
She said she met him working first-class on an L.
A.
to New York redeye.
My mom is a looker.
Yeah, I'm sure she is.
I didn't believe her till she showed me the checks, the hush money.
How many kids of single flight attendants go to the best schools? I'd see pictures of your family and think that life should be mine.
- You don't want it, trust me.
No.
That's the thing.
The more I watched, the happier I was that it wasn't my family.
Your dad cheats on your mom, it's on the cover of People.
Your sister shoots Nicole Richie with a BB gun, Leno opens his monologue with it.
Then murder.
I wondered if something was wrong with me you know, if this is my bloodline.
Yeah, join the club.
This has been great, but I gotta run.
Papers to grade.
Well, yeah.
It has.
We'll have to do it again.
Longer next time.
I'd like to hear about him, Aaron, the details, good or bad.
Yeah, bad, mostly.
There's just this void, you know.
Hello.
Veronica, this is my half-brother, Charlie.
Charlie, this is my girlfriend, Veronica.
- Hey, nice to meet you.
- Yeah, you too.
Charlie has to get home and grade papers.
He's got an honest job.
He's a contributing member of society.
- Very un-Echolls.
- Yeah.
And if I get them graded by tonight, I can head to Zuma at dawn.
You surf? As often and as long as I can.
Maybe we are brothers.
I have options.
I could be excited for Logan, thrilled even, that his new brother is such a keeper or I can be me.
Hi.
Sorry to bother you.
Are you by any chance the sub for Mr.
Stone? No, I'm the real deal.
I'm Mr.
Stone.
Sorry, I've got a class starting.
Did you need something? No.
Just looking for someone else.
Okay.
Then I gotta call roll.
So it's Christmas, right? The entire family unit is around which was rare.
You know, I'm I don't know, 9.
Then Aaron hands me a gift but he notices the box has been rewrapped, so he knows I peeked.
I'm 9 years old.
He's regifting me a fruit basket.
He starts shouting how I've ruined Christmas.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
Then he tells me I'm not opening another gift until I eat all 12 pears in the box.
Damn, the scissors incident.
The drained swimming pool episode.
Now the box of pears.
So I'm eating the pears and taking my time, taking these dainty bites the man comes unhinged.
Takes these pears and just starts shoving them down my throat one after another.
And I'm choking, but he doesn't stop until my mom holds a cheese knife to his throat.
To this day, I puke if I smell a pear.
Quick, Jeb.
Hide them hookers.
Hi, Logan.
Hi, Norman Phipps.
What'd you call him? His name.
Norman Phipps.
At least that's the name of the guy who rented his rental car.
And a quick Google check reveals that Norman Phipps is a contributor to Vanity Fair.
Thank God for mobile wireless, huh? So, Norman, how's your story coming? It's great.
In fact, I'm almost there.
Just one thing, Logan.
That fruit basket? Was it from Harry and David? God is in the details.
Please take a swing.
It'd make a great lead.
I'm so sorry, I should have just left it alone.
I guess this is the money shot, right? I wanted proof, I got proof.
So now I do it, right? I leave him? - Harmony - Is that standard operating procedure? Do I kick him out? Would he move out? - Do I take our daughter to a hotel? - Before you do anything you need to hear this.
He's one of those people thinks the number of years he's logged are in direct proportion to how smart Wait, Carly.
Stop.
I can't.
I have a wife, a family.
I'm not gonna do this.
They left separately.
I followed Marvin back to your house.
This morning he handed off the Riley International account to someone named Daryl Derryberry.
I should go home.
Yes, you should.
Remember that case a couple years ago where that woman was impersonating her boss? How did you "obtain" the ATM photos that proved it? I know a guy.
A representative of the bank needs to request a court order.
Once the court order is issued, it only takes about an hour to get the photos.
So it's a piece of cake? A monkey, with a friend who's a bank representative, can do it.
So, Bubbles, you feel like doing me a solid? Hello, Chip, Dick, faceless Star Trek crew members.
Hey.
Here to give us our money back? The morning after the haunted house, Claire woke up alone in the park.
Five a.
m.
, her head was shaved.
This photo was taken of Claire the night she was raped.
It's from an ATM on the corner of Stanton and Lake.
Look at the time stamp.
Two a.
m.
The haunted house had been closed for two hours.
She still has her hair, so we know she hasn't been raped yet.
And look who she's with.
Who's that dude? It's not one of us.
Precisely.
You Pi Sigs have exactly one Asian member, and that's not him.
Voilà, proof of innocence.
Courtesy of pixie spy magic.
- That's what I'm talking about, baby.
- That's it, man.
When did the Greek chorus of feminist shame arrive? Guys, here he is.
- Right here.
- Move it.
Come on, get a shot.
- Can we get a shot, please? - Look this way.
- Charlie.
- Hi, Mr.
Stone.
- Charlie.
- Stop for one second.
I wanna ask you a few questions.
Good news.
The Pi Sigs were absolved.
- Because they were innocent, Parker.
- Because you helped them.
Which is what you were trying to do all along.
How do you live with yourself? I was looking for the truth, and I found it.
Do you wanna nail someone to the wall to have someone nailed there or do you want the person responsible to pay? Hey, careful, man.
There's a beverage here.
You doing okay? On top of the world, looking down on creation.
I saw you on Larry King last night giving your half-brother a little coming-out party.
Life as Charlie Stone knew it is officially over.
I'm choking with empathy.
He served me up to the Vanity Fair reporter, he brought it on himself.
Well, we don't know that for sure.
Well, how else could it have happened? Well, I'm glad you went digging.
I mean, I've officially erased any and all romantic notions about my family.
That's me.
All sorts of helpful.
I was hoping you could bust some of that out again, help me find Norman Phipps.
Why? I gave him a pocket watch that belonged to my grandfather the only decent member of my family.
Of course, he died when I was 5, so who knows? Still, it kind of burns thinking of Norman having it.
In my world, the wicked don't get parting gifts.
Hey there, fake Charlie.
You weren't expecting to see me again, were you? Can I come in? I was just doing my job.
None of it matters.
The magazine dropped the story when Larry King scooped.
That was the plan.
I'm here for the watch.
Your boyfriend got one detail wrong in that interview of his.
Charlie never talked to me.
I tracked him down but he wanted to remain anonymous.
- How'd you end up meeting Logan? I had a tap on Charlie's phone.
The reporter acted alone.
He was tapping Charlie's line when you called.
Your real half-brother is innocent.
And I was so quick to believe that guy.
And you know, I look at you and your dad, you know, that thing that you have? I never had that.
You couldn't have known.
Yeah, well, I'm sure that won't matter to him.
Hi, this is Charlie.
Please leave a message.
Hey, Charlie, it's Logan again.
Listen, I'm sorry about all the messages.
Hell, I guess I thought I'd give it another shot fourth time's the charm, right?
- No, it's not.
You think it's not because you came up with it.
Ergo, how could it be bad? Math, sweetie.
Me plus idea equals good.
You were expecting Sidney Poitier? No jokes, no innuendos, no quips.
Don't even think of alluding to having seen me naked having touched any part of my body that doesn't have fingers.
Can I mention that my eyes adored you? I got it.
No calling you bobcat, no talk of milky thighs.
- Go home.
- Veronica, I won't say anything bad.
So how's school going, Logan? I'm actually not hating it.
My grades aren't Hearst took him in late because of his high test scores.
- What classes are you taking? - Where is this going? My endgame is to find out what classes Logan is taking.
Just core stuff.
You know, Sociology, Freshman Comm.
Mass Comm, which is kind of coming in handy.
You know, apparently, being the offspring of a murderer doesn't get old.
I'm getting all these interview requests.
Larry King wants me to come on with O.
J.
's kids.
- Are you thinking about it? - No.
- Why's that? - Time-out.
Can we stay in the shallow end, please? I'm sorry.
I think it's a good call.
I was just curious as to your reasons.
I didn't realize I had to have the conversation vetted.
- I would've been happy to veto questions.
- That would've been nice, huh? We could've packed a lunch and made a day of it.
- Missed opportunity if you ask me.
- A mistake you can learn from.
What then exactly am I allowed to ask Logan about? Hobbies? Surfing.
- What's the attraction? - Don't answer that.
- I got it.
- I'm trying to.
Mac's in Bakersfield.
Her great-aunt died, and she got the call last night.
Look, you live with one of my best friends.
I'm gonna keep coming here, and having doors shut in my face is gonna get - old.
I have surprisingly strong legs and an hour before my next class.
What? You wanna have a rap session? Maybe in our p.
j.
's? We can eat brownie batter and do each other's nails.
Do you really think that when I walked in here that night I thought: "Look, Parker's getting raped.
- Now, where are those movie tickets?" - No.
You just figured the whore was getting her freak on.
So you're really mad I thought you were a whore? Because lots of people think I'm a whore.
Don't pretend for a second to understand how I'm feeling.
I understand exactly what you're feeling, Parker.
I've been understanding since Shelly Pomroy's end of the year party summer of 2004.
I'd give you the details, but they're a little fuzzy.
I didn't - I had no idea.
- Not something I open with.
But now that I've got your attention, I will find out who raped you.
That's job one.
Parker.
Hi, I'm Nish.
I'm the editor of the Hearst Free Press Veronica.
- It's good to see you.
- And that's where we differ.
I was hoping we could talk.
I'd be a little careful.
Is she a friend of yours? Parker I'm doing an article on the serial rapes.
- I've interviewed most of the other victims.
- I don't want to be interviewed.
One question, then.
You were at a Theta Beta sorority party the night you were attacked.
Do you remember seeing any of the Pi Sig brothers there? The first tier of your trust fund was intended to last until your 21 st birthday, Logan.
At the rate you're burning through it, you've got 14 months.
- Maybe.
- Yeah, I looked at the statement.
I should be getting more money.
You think because you still have checks, you still have money.
I'm not saying I deserve more.
I'm saying there's money missing.
It's complicated.
I'll talk to my lawyer.
See if he can't figure it out.
I'll do you one better.
We'll send all your financial records right over.
You're not showing me porn.
- No.
- Is it a fuzzy newborn kitten? Look, the meeting with Avi Kaufman bean counter to the stars, didn't go very well.
My trust fund's evaporating faster than it should.
I think he's skimming off the top.
My dad has got a great accountant.
I need more of a private detective to help me nail this guy to the wall.
Well, show me the records, I'm sure I can make sense of Go get them, bobcat.
Hi.
I don't have an appointment.
Do you remember me, by any chance? From Judge Crawford's Christmas parties, of course.
- Harmony, right? - Right.
You helped me with my tire that one year.
And you thanked me profusely every year after that.
Sit.
Sit, please.
What can I do for you? Well you ever heard this one before? I think my husband's having an affair.
- You didn't know I was married.
- I didn't.
Everyone's always surprised.
You can wear a ring, but if the husband's never around So, what makes you think he's involved with someone? Working late, mysterious calls, last-minute business trips.
I keep looking for the lipstick on his collar just so it's full-on trite but then there's the fact that we're in a loveless marriage.
He's a kind of glorified roommate these days who happens to be a fantastic father.
I had settled in to that being my life.
Happy daughter, façade of happy marriage Then you got a couple "don't wait up" calls.
I can't just leave for me.
I need a reason.
Do I sound awful? Russian literature, between Tolstoy and Turgenev.
I liked the other place you worked better.
Think maybe that's because we had food there? Did you see this? There was a Pi Sig event the night of every attack.
There's a little graphic and everything.
Colored ink, it must be true.
Claire was at the Pi Sig haunted house the night she was raped.
I trust Nish as far as I can throw her.
But I can't throw those frat boys very far either.
I'm feeling pretty anxious to give it a try though.
Can I help you? Do you know which one of these is Veronica's? Guess so.
This is so freaky.
I've totally been to this complex before.
We had to pick up our maid here once.
Is Veronica home? Honey.
It's like your little kitchen area, huh? It's so awesome.
If you're not gonna shoo it out with a newspaper, I'm stepping on it.
Hey, buddy.
Hope it's not weird me just showing up.
I can't believe I've known you forever and you've never had me over.
You left a flaming bag of dog poo in front of our door one time.
That was kind of a play date.
Yeah.
- You need me to - It's fine.
- You guys are cute.
- Dick, why are you here? You saw that article about the Pi Sig house, right? Claire gets raped after one of our parties and suddenly the school's all in a bunch.
There's this hearing scheduled to try to get us kicked off campus.
- And that's where you come in.
- I get to do the kicking? You get to be the spy who loves me.
The guys were impressed on how you cleared the frat of the rape last year.
Were they? That means so little.
They knew we had, like, this connection, so they sent me here to hire you.
We need you to do your Veronica thing, prove it's a pack of lies.
Is it a pack of lies? We're a frat.
Why rape the cow when you're swimming in free milk? Maybe you guys should hire someone you don't disgust.
They don't care about the disgusted thing.
They want you.
I'll need full access to the fraternity.
I need to know everything about the night.
My fee is 1500 up-front.
Really? That's what you guys make? That's the Pi Sig rate.
Okay.
And you'll need to leave right now before I change my mind.
Who knew that when opportunity knocked it would look like a horny surfer? - Thank you.
- And he hand-delivered an invitation into the belly of the beast.
- Hello.
- Hi, it's Keith Mars.
Can I guess? She's blond, 22, no visible pores and pierced navel.
Nope.
Nope, looks like he's really working late.
I've been parked by his car all night.
Really? The office on the bottom floor, right? Yeah.
So you're just sitting there looking at his car? Yeah.
It's glamorous, I know.
At least it's your job.
I did it a couple of weeks ago for sport.
I was so sure he was cheating I decided to follow him.
I wore a hat and sunglasses.
Not my finest hour.
Yeah, well, no more I Love Lucy reruns for you.
Hey, we should have a bet.
If she's blond and 22, you owe me a beer.
- Good night, Harmony.
- Good night.
My accountant said she'd be finished looking over Logan's files this afternoon.
Snazzy.
Going to church or you addressing the Junior League? Bland is the new hot.
Is it possible your boyfriend's financial problems are just his champagne wishes and caviar dreams biting him on the ass? One solid-gold foosball table and a couple of manservants and suddenly he's spendy.
Did you trip and fall onto sandalwood musk and a hint of spicy citrus or is that cologne? It's aftershave.
I'm going to traffic court.
Sexy traffic court? Nice shoes.
You changed your major to Women's Studies? Yuk it up, fancy pants.
Hello? In here.
I hope it's okay.
I only have 20 minutes so I brought lunch.
Oh, I'm booked pretty solid too.
Oh, it's a good thing I brought a whole pie, then.
Thank you.
That's very thoughtful.
So The woman who dropped Marvin off is named Carly Hearn.
- How about that? - I take it you know her? Yeah, Carly works at Riley International.
Marvin does a lot of business with them.
He once told me she's the smartest woman he's ever met.
I only saw her dropping him off.
It's possible it was just business.
I'm having such a weird reaction to this.
I'm supposed to be jealous, right? I think you should probably just feel however you're feeling.
I feel strangely impressed and relieved.
I was sure it was going to be a cocktail waitress putting herself through massage school.
My daughter would want me to buy tank tops with bootylicious across the front.
I think Carly went to Yale.
- Brown.
- Still.
You ever tie your husband's tie? When entering a frat house full of accused rapists the pantsuit is a solid wardrobe choice.
It's fashion's way of saying, "Move along, nothing to see here.
" Hey, you better leave me a slice, bro.
- Hey, Veronica.
- Yeah, hey.
So I'll need to know where each frat brother was at the time of the rape.
Isn't the best way to clear us to figure who really did it? That's what I'm doing.
I need to know who saw what.
Yeah, fine.
Whatever you want.
The newspaper said the last thing Claire remembered from the night of her attack was buying a drink in front of the haunted house.
Do you remember who was serving drinks? It was Charleston.
You don't wanna talk to him though.
He's an idiot.
- Your last name is Chu? - Yeah.
- Charleston Chu? - My first name's really Xiang.
Look, I just poured flat soda into plastic cups.
I don't know anything about the rape.
- Come on.
- Wow, I didn't even have to ask.
Did you work the stand all night? I guess.
I don't remember every second.
So, yeah, I probably served her a drink.
Doesn't mean I raped her.
No.
It just means you're the most likely suspect, token.
And when the media circus starts, you know, like it did at Duke with that whole lacrosse rape scandal who do you think they're gonna get to do the perp walk on the 6:00 news? You're supposed to be working for us.
Okay, wait.
Wait up.
Wait.
All right, there's There's more.
Once the bank for the refreshments reached $500, we were supposed to bring it to Chip's room, because he's in charge of the cash.
So I did.
But his door was locked.
I heard noises, so I started knocking and then Then Chip, like, whips open the door all pissed off and out of breath.
Because that's where his StairMaster is? He was buck-naked and sweaty.
- Like I caught him in - Flagrante? No, in the middle of sex.
- Can you believe what's going on outside? - No more rapes at Hearst.
Women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first.
They're here.
Women's safety first.
- You arrested the wrong guy? - Totally wrong guy.
I marched him away, he didn't say a word.
Like he was relieved just to have an excuse to get out of the house.
Now, that was a rocky marriage.
Hey, Veronica.
- Hey, yourself.
- Veronica, the liberator of lobsters? I never knew.
A single lobster, once, from the Charthouse, when I was seven.
He tells that to all the new clients.
You know, Harmony, I'm actually expecting another appointment coming in.
Of course.
- Okay, I'll talk to you.
- Yeah, I'll be in touch.
Thanks.
- Bye-bye.
Bye.
- Bye.
I spoke to my accountant.
Your business manager doesn't appear to be stealing anything.
The Echolls estate contributes $ 10,000 a month to an organization called Aaron's Kids.
And that's where the missing money is going.
At Aaron's Kids? Is that my dad's pathetic excuse for a charity? I hope that helps clear things up for you.
Hey.
Sorry I took so long.
I went out for Thai and ended up getting a massage.
I should have been more specific.
Your dad's charity, Aaron's Kids was a nonprofit corporation that shut down years ago.
Aaron's Kidz, spelled with a Z, is still in business, however.
Its chairman is Avi Kaufman, your dad's business manager and this Aaron's Kidz isn't even remotely a charity.
Do you think I should dangle Kaufman out a window by his ankles? How about you numb your fury with grease and fat till I can do a little more homework? Reason, huh? I'm not sure I like it.
Here's a fun thing to say to your beau.
Mind if I go put the screws to someone? Go ahead, screw your brains out.
Whoa, what happened to your mitts? Let me guess.
It involved the cookie jar.
I was working the Boo Room at the haunted house.
- Boo Room? - You know, it's a staple of haunted houses.
It's pitch-black, we dress like cat burglars, jump out, yell boo.
So your hands ended up bruised how? I was crouched down, and one of the guys stomped on them.
Okay, next question.
This one's tougher.
Who were you knocking boots with that night? The night Claire was raped, you were naked and sweaty Iocked in your room with some mystery girl.
Charleston's pretty chatty, huh? That boy scares easy.
A problem is just an opportunity in disguise.
Tell me who you were with, I'll confirm it, you're in the clear.
No, I'm not.
I could tell you, but the girl I was with will never, in a million years, admit to it.
Okay, I gotta go.
Call me later, okay? It's sad to see him go, but it's nice to watch him leave.
Do I know you? I'm friends with your boyfriend, Charleston and your boy on the side, Chip.
- What are you talking about? - You and Chip.
Weren't you his date to the haunted house? I hear you went as the beast with two backs.
- No.
Why would you even say that? - Look, you're Chip's alibi.
You'll have to own up to it or things will really go south for Chip and the Pi Sigs.
I don't need to own up to anything.
- You're torturing me.
- Without even trying? - God, I'm good.
- My brothers are all sorts of pissed.
They think you're coming after them instead of trying to find the raper.
Do you mean rapist? Learn the terminology.
What happened to your hand? Window fell on it.
Whatever.
Look, people are really starting to think we rape.
The hearing is in two days.
So go work your little pixie spy magic and fix this.
Logan said you showed up at his place the night of Parker's rape.
All wrecked.
Saying you screwed up.
Whipped guys make the worst friends.
So Dick, a rapist? Two in the same household? Possibly.
Quarterbacks seem to run in the Manning family.
I know Logan's worried about being genetically predestined for antisocial behavior.
I suppose that's a question best left to the social scientists.
Right now, it's time to figure out where his money is going.
Hi, can I speak to Ryan Douglas, please? It's about his interest in Micardo Enterprises.
This new case is keeping you out late.
You look wiped out.
What you up to? I was trying to seal the embezzlement case against Logan's business manager.
I discovered something else entirely.
Who's Charlie Stone? Perfect timing.
Lonely telescope guy's getting tired of me just mooning him.
I need to talk to you.
I followed the trust money.
All the way down the rabbit hole.
The payments are going to a person named Charlie Stone.
Do you know who that is? No, should I? Yeah, probably.
Charlie Stone is your brother.
Your dad's business manager buried him pretty deep.
You weren't supposed to find out.
No one was.
I Googled him.
All I learned was that he teaches at a private school in San Juan Capistrano but he is in the book.
Here's his number.
What am I supposed to do? Hi, this is Charlie.
Please leave a message.
Hi.
Charlie it's Logan Echolls calling.
Parker, hey.
Save the performance.
I know you're working for the Pi Sigs.
I'm not working for the Pi Sigs.
I'm working for you.
I'm using this opportunity to get close to them so I can figure out what they're up to.
You're trying to find who raped me by hugging it out with Dick Casablancas? - You know Dick? I gave him my number at orientation.
I actually thought he was cute.
Mac said he showed up at our room the night before and was pounding on the door, looking for me.
Did you tell anyone? When I talked to the sheriff, I didn't know.
He's not as harmless as he looks.
Nancy said he chased her out of the haunted house screaming at her, calling her a bitch.
- Why was he screaming at her? Next time you guys are snuggling on the frat house porch, ask him.
I would if I could, but for now, Gerry is still the boss.
Does he respect your opinion? I think he sees Joe as some kind of a side project.
He thinks he's going to get Joe to turn around.
Based on what? Projections he came up with at bingo.
I don't know.
He's one of those people who thinks the years he's logged are in direct proportion to how smart he is.
Was he really? Yeah, unfortunately, because I really liked him.
Can I talk to you? You a little busy doing funnel shots with the Pi Sigs? Aren't you? Heard you went to their haunted house.
That must've been fun.
Did you go as a hypocrite? I went because we heard there was a grope room.
And you were looking for a little grab-assing? A little poetic justice.
They set up this Boo Room so they could fondle girls as they went through.
So we dressed up as rats and strategically put rattraps on all of our gropeable parts.
Okay, that is pretty genius.
I was in the room all of three seconds before Dick Casablancas was caught in one of my traps.
Their bruised hands.
It must've hurt, because he ran me out of the party, screaming.
Was Claire with you? No.
That's when I lost track of her.
I looked for her forever, and I thought I saw her later on down the street from the party, but it wasn't her.
- You're sure? - Yeah.
I yelled for her.
Nothing.
The sheriff knows all of this.
So the girl you thought was Claire, where did you see her? Nancy thought she saw Claire on the street outside of this convenience store.
It's worth making sure she wasn't right the first time.
- Hi, I was wondering - I'm not hiring.
Actually, I was wondering if you were working last Saturday night.
I work every Saturday night.
What else am I gonna do? Do you remember seeing this girl? Her name is Claire.
Yeah, I saw her.
So drunk she could barely stand.
If your parents knew what you kids really do here And you're sure it was her? She came in with a guy.
She's falling asleep on my magazine rack.
He's trying to scrape together change to buy prophylactics.
Then he's all mad because he can't use a credit card unless he spends $ 15.
So I sent him next door to the ATM.
They came back later.
He bought his raincoats, one less bastard child conceived by morons.
Everyone's happy.
Thanks.
I started bugging my Mom about who my Dad was when I was, I don't know, six, seven.
Then on my tenth birthday my Mom takes me to see Aaron Echolls in Thought Police.
She points to the screen, she says, "That's the guy.
That's your dad.
" She took you to see Thought Police on your birthday? Did she hate you? I'm like, "Don't screw with my head.
I'm ten, I can't deal with the news that the guy mind-wrestling with Stallone on-screen knocked you up.
" She was a stewardess when she met Aaron.
She said she met him working first-class on an L.
A.
to New York redeye.
My mom is a looker.
Yeah, I'm sure she is.
I didn't believe her till she showed me the checks, the hush money.
How many kids of single flight attendants go to the best schools? I'd see pictures of your family and think that life should be mine.
- You don't want it, trust me.
No.
That's the thing.
The more I watched, the happier I was that it wasn't my family.
Your dad cheats on your mom, it's on the cover of People.
Your sister shoots Nicole Richie with a BB gun, Leno opens his monologue with it.
Then murder.
I wondered if something was wrong with me you know, if this is my bloodline.
Yeah, join the club.
This has been great, but I gotta run.
Papers to grade.
Well, yeah.
It has.
We'll have to do it again.
Longer next time.
I'd like to hear about him, Aaron, the details, good or bad.
Yeah, bad, mostly.
There's just this void, you know.
Hello.
Veronica, this is my half-brother, Charlie.
Charlie, this is my girlfriend, Veronica.
- Hey, nice to meet you.
- Yeah, you too.
Charlie has to get home and grade papers.
He's got an honest job.
He's a contributing member of society.
- Very un-Echolls.
- Yeah.
And if I get them graded by tonight, I can head to Zuma at dawn.
You surf? As often and as long as I can.
Maybe we are brothers.
I have options.
I could be excited for Logan, thrilled even, that his new brother is such a keeper or I can be me.
Hi.
Sorry to bother you.
Are you by any chance the sub for Mr.
Stone? No, I'm the real deal.
I'm Mr.
Stone.
Sorry, I've got a class starting.
Did you need something? No.
Just looking for someone else.
Okay.
Then I gotta call roll.
So it's Christmas, right? The entire family unit is around which was rare.
You know, I'm I don't know, 9.
Then Aaron hands me a gift but he notices the box has been rewrapped, so he knows I peeked.
I'm 9 years old.
He's regifting me a fruit basket.
He starts shouting how I've ruined Christmas.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
Then he tells me I'm not opening another gift until I eat all 12 pears in the box.
Damn, the scissors incident.
The drained swimming pool episode.
Now the box of pears.
So I'm eating the pears and taking my time, taking these dainty bites the man comes unhinged.
Takes these pears and just starts shoving them down my throat one after another.
And I'm choking, but he doesn't stop until my mom holds a cheese knife to his throat.
To this day, I puke if I smell a pear.
Quick, Jeb.
Hide them hookers.
Hi, Logan.
Hi, Norman Phipps.
What'd you call him? His name.
Norman Phipps.
At least that's the name of the guy who rented his rental car.
And a quick Google check reveals that Norman Phipps is a contributor to Vanity Fair.
Thank God for mobile wireless, huh? So, Norman, how's your story coming? It's great.
In fact, I'm almost there.
Just one thing, Logan.
That fruit basket? Was it from Harry and David? God is in the details.
Please take a swing.
It'd make a great lead.
I'm so sorry, I should have just left it alone.
I guess this is the money shot, right? I wanted proof, I got proof.
So now I do it, right? I leave him? - Harmony - Is that standard operating procedure? Do I kick him out? Would he move out? - Do I take our daughter to a hotel? - Before you do anything you need to hear this.
He's one of those people thinks the number of years he's logged are in direct proportion to how smart Wait, Carly.
Stop.
I can't.
I have a wife, a family.
I'm not gonna do this.
They left separately.
I followed Marvin back to your house.
This morning he handed off the Riley International account to someone named Daryl Derryberry.
I should go home.
Yes, you should.
Remember that case a couple years ago where that woman was impersonating her boss? How did you "obtain" the ATM photos that proved it? I know a guy.
A representative of the bank needs to request a court order.
Once the court order is issued, it only takes about an hour to get the photos.
So it's a piece of cake? A monkey, with a friend who's a bank representative, can do it.
So, Bubbles, you feel like doing me a solid? Hello, Chip, Dick, faceless Star Trek crew members.
Hey.
Here to give us our money back? The morning after the haunted house, Claire woke up alone in the park.
Five a.
m.
, her head was shaved.
This photo was taken of Claire the night she was raped.
It's from an ATM on the corner of Stanton and Lake.
Look at the time stamp.
Two a.
m.
The haunted house had been closed for two hours.
She still has her hair, so we know she hasn't been raped yet.
And look who she's with.
Who's that dude? It's not one of us.
Precisely.
You Pi Sigs have exactly one Asian member, and that's not him.
Voilà, proof of innocence.
Courtesy of pixie spy magic.
- That's what I'm talking about, baby.
- That's it, man.
When did the Greek chorus of feminist shame arrive? Guys, here he is.
- Right here.
- Move it.
Come on, get a shot.
- Can we get a shot, please? - Look this way.
- Charlie.
- Hi, Mr.
Stone.
- Charlie.
- Stop for one second.
I wanna ask you a few questions.
Good news.
The Pi Sigs were absolved.
- Because they were innocent, Parker.
- Because you helped them.
Which is what you were trying to do all along.
How do you live with yourself? I was looking for the truth, and I found it.
Do you wanna nail someone to the wall to have someone nailed there or do you want the person responsible to pay? Hey, careful, man.
There's a beverage here.
You doing okay? On top of the world, looking down on creation.
I saw you on Larry King last night giving your half-brother a little coming-out party.
Life as Charlie Stone knew it is officially over.
I'm choking with empathy.
He served me up to the Vanity Fair reporter, he brought it on himself.
Well, we don't know that for sure.
Well, how else could it have happened? Well, I'm glad you went digging.
I mean, I've officially erased any and all romantic notions about my family.
That's me.
All sorts of helpful.
I was hoping you could bust some of that out again, help me find Norman Phipps.
Why? I gave him a pocket watch that belonged to my grandfather the only decent member of my family.
Of course, he died when I was 5, so who knows? Still, it kind of burns thinking of Norman having it.
In my world, the wicked don't get parting gifts.
Hey there, fake Charlie.
You weren't expecting to see me again, were you? Can I come in? I was just doing my job.
None of it matters.
The magazine dropped the story when Larry King scooped.
That was the plan.
I'm here for the watch.
Your boyfriend got one detail wrong in that interview of his.
Charlie never talked to me.
I tracked him down but he wanted to remain anonymous.
- How'd you end up meeting Logan? I had a tap on Charlie's phone.
The reporter acted alone.
He was tapping Charlie's line when you called.
Your real half-brother is innocent.
And I was so quick to believe that guy.
And you know, I look at you and your dad, you know, that thing that you have? I never had that.
You couldn't have known.
Yeah, well, I'm sure that won't matter to him.
Hi, this is Charlie.
Please leave a message.
Hey, Charlie, it's Logan again.
Listen, I'm sorry about all the messages.
Hell, I guess I thought I'd give it another shot fourth time's the charm, right?