Veronica Mars s03e08 Episode Script
Lord of the Pi's
Dude, come here.
Dude, it's Chip Diller.
Your portfolio was still in our former editor's desk when I took over.
I understand you two had some baggage, but that's irrelevant.
I'll take a talented photographer where I can find one.
- Great.
Thanks.
- You free tonight? - To take photos? - Yes.
That's why you're here.
You know about the election? The board of trustees is voting on a resolution to remove the Greek system from Hearst.
That's the one.
Vote's tomorrow.
Tonight there's a reception.
That's university-speak for cocktail party, for the board of trustees.
- We need art.
- Yeah, I can shoot it.
Bonus points if you get the dean wearing a lampshade.
But mostly we want pictures of our most famous alum and board member, Selma Rose.
- Selma Hearst Rose? - The very.
Granddaughter of our illustrious founder and heir to the Hearst-Mart fortune.
They've polled all the trustees.
Word is Selma's the swing vote.
My mom, California's last flower child, loved her.
She had a poster of her.
You know the shot I'm talking about? Flying over Watts in '73 dumping out sacks of cash, her entire trust fund.
She's giving the thumbs up, a huge smile on her face while millions rain down on the ghetto.
- Well, she had her heart in the right place.
Riots ensued.
She was arrested when she landed.
Served a month in county jail.
Perhaps the most embarrassing case of noblesse oblige of the 20th century.
- Yo, you guys pay for photos? - Sometimes.
Great.
I got your front page right here.
Is that Chip Diller? President of the Pi Sigs, in all his glory.
I'm off to steal the souls of the rich with my evil image-capturing device.
Have fun.
Oh, and call Logan.
He left a couple of messages.
I will.
Bye.
- Hey there.
Tall, dark and timely.
- I've been trying to reach you.
- Didn't you get my messages? - I did.
I'm sorry.
I was gonna We need to have a talk.
A serious one.
Yeah, I got that from your messages.
It's why I haven't called.
- I haven't had time to have a talk.
- I'll make it quick.
I want you to stay away from the rape case.
Just let it go.
It's clear the rapist knows who you are.
He doesn't know about the hair, just about the getting-dosed part.
Maybe he should be in the loop.
Don't you dare.
Fine, just stop digging around.
No more looking into the serial rapes.
No more putting your nose where it doesn't belong.
My nose kind of belongs wherever I decide to put it.
I'm worried about you.
Okay? I want you to stop now.
I'm not kidding.
Kind of a 180, isn't it? Can we rewind a week? Cue it up to the part where you were asking me to exonerate your vacation buddy, Mercer.
That was before you were attacked.
Why can't you just leave things alone? Now you're starting to piss me off.
Frankly, Veronica, so what? You're not invincible.
- And you're not always right.
- Hey.
You might wanna stop yelling at my daughter.
Yeah? You might wanna start.
Dad.
Please.
It's okay.
He's just worried about me.
Does he have a reason to be? The Hearst rapist has everyone on edge.
All right.
You take care of yourself.
I'm always a phone call away.
I know you are.
Ciao, Papa.
Selma, who am I gonna tell? How can I be the swing vote if you know which way I'm going to swing? Mind if I take a shot for the Hearst Free Press? Which one of my good sides? I'm guessing the one without the trail of Thousand Island.
You should really be nicer to me.
I'm about to kiss your ass.
I wanna thank all of you for coming.
Hearst College is extremely fortunate to have such well-respected members on its board.
And we're especially thrilled tonight to add Selma Rose to our distinguished panel.
Since taking over the family business two years ago Ms.
Rose has, step by step, turned Hearst-Mart into a leader in corporate responsibility.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Selma Hearst Rose.
Selma? You're not waiting for me to carry you piggyback, are you? Selma? Foul play? You think? What makes you say so? An extremely wealthy woman disappears in the middle of a reception in her honor.
Don't you find that, I don't know, odd? Well, there's odd and there's foul play.
Rich ladies aren't reliable creatures.
Of course.
She must have remembered her tennis lesson.
How silly of her to forget.
I don't suppose there's someone who would take this seriously.
Dollars to doughnuts, you'll find her sobbing at the club because she lost an earring.
Well, you'd be the doughnut expert.
Excuse me.
Veronica, I'd like to talk to your dad.
Beer off your belly, hand out of your boxers, put on some pants.
I'm bringing home a visitor.
Okay.
I love you.
Bye.
I've known this woman for almost 20 years.
If there's a microphone and an audience she's not going anywhere unless dragged.
- You talked to her husband? - He's terrified.
I'm telling you, anyone who knows Selma knows something is seriously wrong.
Look, the sheriff is an idiot.
I've met smarter sandwiches.
I'm afraid she's been kidnapped, Keith.
Hearst College has had riots, rapes, and now abductions? I need you to find her.
So I'll do what I can on the computer tonight.
Start with the legwork in the morning.
Thanks, Keith.
Oh, one last thing.
One of the board members said he saw Selma talking to a waitress as I began my introduction.
He turned around as I was calling for her and she was gone.
All right, we'll follow up on that.
Good night, Cyrus.
So here's my thought: I'll go talk to the family tomorrow and you talk to the waitress and the caterer.
High road.
Low road.
Got it.
So one of the board members said they saw Selma Rose talking with a waitress before she disappeared.
I was hoping to get the names and numbers of your wait staff.
Who are you again? Veronica.
Mars.
I'm working for the dean.
You can call him if you want.
Well, if it was a waitress and not a waiter then you only need one name.
There was only one girl working last night.
Hey, Fern.
What up, girl? What do you want, Buffy? Tiffany? Whatever your name is.
The Female Voice in Celtic Literature.
I am woman, hear me bore.
I heard you had a little chat with Selma Rose last night.
Right before she disappeared.
Can I guess? - She was contemplating a nose ring.
- I was letting her know she had a call.
- Who was calling? - I don't know.
Some woman.
The phone was ringing off the hook.
It was driving me up a wall so I answered it.
Someone wanted to speak to Selma Rose, I relayed the message.
- You didn't ask who was calling? - I didn't care.
You know what's funny? And not, like, funny ha-ha? A driving force in getting the Greeks kicked off campus, that's you is the last person seen speaking to the trustee with the swing vote.
You know what else is funny? The girl who saved the Pi Sigs is leading the charge to track down that vote.
I wasn't saving the Pi Sigs.
I was getting to the truth.
The truth is that your Pi Sig friends just kicked off Sex Quest '06.
- You know what that is, freshman? - Yeah.
They award themselves points for getting laid.
Just watch what you drink.
Mr.
Mars, sorry to keep you waiting.
- What is that? Is that a goldfish? - It's a carp.
A Golden Carp awarded Please don't touch it.
My name is Brandt.
I am Mr.
Rose's personal assistant.
Unfortunately, Mr.
Mars, my employer won't be able to see you at the moment.
- He's resting.
- I believe he's expecting me.
Mr.
Rose is understandably distraught, as I'm sure you can understand.
I've been hired to find Mrs.
Rose.
Mr.
Rose will wanna do everything possible to help.
Of course he does.
But as I mentioned, he's not available at the moment.
Brandt, will you stop harassing our guest? Bring him in here.
- Mr.
Rose, this is - Yes, Brandt, thank you.
I know.
- Can I get you? - No, just some privacy, please.
I'm sorry about Brandt.
He tries to protect me from, well, just about everything actually.
Do you have any news about my wife yet? - I'm sorry, not yet.
- Cyrus fears she's been kidnapped.
- Is that what you think? - Right now, it's a missing-person case.
There's no ransom note, no reason to jump to that conclusion.
No, no, right, I know.
I know, I should be stronger about all this.
Has your wife have any business problems that you might be aware of? Selma's always having business problems.
She's had to fight the board tooth and nail for every bit of reform she's brought about.
I'm afraid I don't know much about the business anymore.
Her brother Roger's flying in later today.
He was coming in for a meeting anyway.
He'll be taking care of the company in her absence.
It would be helpful to speak to him.
Oh, yes, of course.
I'll have Brandt give you the number to his assistant.
She flew in yesterday.
He likes to call her his advance team.
She's worse than Brandt actually.
Please let me know if I can be of any further assistance, Mr.
Mars.
Terrifying, aren't they? - Nice car.
Yours? - No.
That belongs to the grossly overpaid dog walker.
- I should get his name.
- It's a she.
Guess who's on the phone for you.
Someone who wants to sit on hold while you play stupid games? Martina Vasquez.
Martina Vasquez? The hottie from Channel Nine? Said she had a few questions about Selma Rose's disappearance.
Put her through for me.
Miss Vasquez, what can I do for you? Well, I am here to help in absolutely any way that I can.
By the way, I caught your most recent piece on the morning-after pill.
It was informative.
Well, thank you, sheriff.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
We've learned that Selma Rose received a phone call before she went missing.
Have you learned who the call was from yet? Actually, Martina, we checked that out and it was false information.
There was no record of an incoming call.
- You're sure? - lf you'd like I can keep you in the loop with this sort of stuff.
- Hello? Dad, I'm on the phone.
Oh, sorry, honey.
Let me know when you're off.
Sheriff, you were saying you'd be able to keep me in the loop? I'm off.
The Pi Sigs are doing their Sex Quest again.
Collecting points for conquests.
Think that's such a good idea at a university with a serial rapist on the loose? You raise an uninteresting point.
But, hey, don't worry your pretty head about your pal Dick.
My points are in order courtesy of Miss Bonnie Capistrano.
Her curvature of the spine is hardly noticeable but I still got the handicapped bonus.
- You're repugnant, Dick.
- Seriously, you hardly notice it.
Ever stop to think that the Pi Sig Sex Quest might be connected to your Pi Sig president getting his head shaved? Like it's a warning or retribution or something? Actually, that kind of makes sense.
Okay, I'm so not supposed to be telling you this, but it's way too good.
So not only did Chip get Kojaked, someone put a Roman numeral in one of those plastic Easter Eggs and stuck it in his where-the-sun-don't-shine place.
And you know where that is.
Worst Easter egg hunt ever.
Not a banner day for Chip Diller.
He had to get one of the brothers to help unpack his suitcase.
- What was the number? - What? You said there was a Roman numeral in the Easter egg.
You're missing the point.
They put it up his bleeding bum.
Which kind of speaks to the number being significant, don't you think? I guess.
I don't know what the number is.
It wasn't a baby shower.
We didn't all sit around waiting for him to open the egg so we could see what he got.
- You know what he did with it? If it's not in his hope chest I'm thinking he threw it out.
- When is your garbage collected? - And you think I'm "repungent"? Yes, Dick.
Yes, I do.
The garbage truck comes Friday morning.
Morty the homeless dude comes Thursdays to pull out bottles and cans.
Can't tell you if they recycle keister eggs.
Why are you following me around? Fulfilling my gym requirement.
Yoga had a written final.
So it turns out there was no record of an incoming call the night of Selma Hearst's reception.
Well, maybe the call came from an extension in the building.
Ever think of that? Just one more thing.
When you stick an Easter egg in a frat boy's out door, do you kiss him first? Is that a riddle? Poor Chip.
You really "rectum.
" Morty, my man.
So this is my friend Veronica.
Veronica, Morty.
Morty, Veronica.
This might sound like a strange proposition but while you're down there What the hell, Bonnie? That's exactly what I was thinking.
Another cute frat boy? What the hell? You realize you're worth like half the points now? You went from top-shelf to bargain-basement in three seconds.
It was more like the third-floor bathroom to the pinball machine in like 47 minutes.
She always gets a replay, never tilts at all.
Got it.
The incredible, inedible egg.
Selma's fine.
Trust me, I know my sister.
This is her just flaking out again.
Why is it doing that blinking thing? She's probably wrapped in algae somewhere outside of Santa Fe with cucumber slices on her eyes.
If she decided to flake, don't you think the middle of a reception is an odd time? Oh, it's the perfect time.
Right before she had to make a decision.
Doesn't sound like the behavior of the top executive of a Fortune 500 company.
Oh, my sister's not a businesswoman.
She's a humanitarian.
Not a big profit margin there.
Have you seen what Selma's disappearance has done to our stock? - I haven't.
- It's skyrocketing every day she's missing on the assumption that we'll sell merchandise manufactured in Asia.
Selma actually wanted Hearst-Mart to deal only American-made products which, here's a hot tip, we won't.
- I still don't have anything from Evan.
- I've left four messages.
And a fifth would kill you? My guess, she took off to get some time away from Budd.
Word is, she's already talked to a lawyer.
Your sister was considering getting a divorce? Since the accident, Budd has become more and more clingy.
He follows her around like a pull toy.
She probably cares more about her dogs than she does her husband.
I wouldn't be surprised if she left everything to little Ernest and Julio in her will.
Evan.
- They glued travel Scrabble tiles - C XI and CMIII.
- Inside a plastic Easter egg and stuck it Halfway to China.
I'm never going on another Easter egg hunt again.
And I'm never playing Scrabble again.
In Roman numerals, it's 111 and 903.
And for better or worse, you're my numbers guy.
So go.
- What am I doing? - Telling me what these numbers mean.
They mean we got some twisted sickos going to school here.
Anything else I can help you with? That's free of charge.
Come on.
It's one digit short of a phone number.
It could be a locker number.
- Why would someone stick an egg? - That's what I'm trying to find out.
Driver's license? Check number? - Just one egg, right? - Wallace.
- Maybe it's a student ID number.
- Brilliant.
No, one too many digits.
It's almost like you don't wanna help.
Hold the phone.
One, two Six.
It's a date.
That's almost exactly three years ago.
Three years and two days.
Closed library? Not to the help-desk girl.
To me it's wide open.
With all its lovely back issues of the Hearst Free Press just waiting to tell me if something significant happened on campus on 11/19/03.
Patrice Pitrelli falls off sorority-house roof? - Morning.
- Yes, it is.
Came a little bit earlier than I would have liked.
So I ran the plates for the Roses' dog walker.
You want me to go check her out? Size her up? Shake her down? If you wouldn't mind.
Lucky for you, I can do that in my sleep.
You're blocking my sun.
Oh, is that yours? I'm so sorry.
Oh, my God, Hallie are you, like, so totally worried about your missing boss? I know she had the power to kick you and your sisters off campus but you must be like a basket case and a half.
Your face is getting a little pinkish.
You should flip.
I'm Selma Rose's dog walker.
So? You having a job? Shock right there.
It requiring that you wear a plastic bag on your hand while waiting for Fido to kick out a lodger? That makes me dizzy.
You don't know the first thing about me, Veronica.
I know like eight, possibly nine things.
But you're right, I have no idea which one is first.
Is it that you're a Theta Beta that'd do anything for her sorority? You think I had something to do with Mrs.
Rose's disappearance? Perhaps.
You should be concerned about Brandt.
Mr.
Rose's assistant? He's, like, in love with Mr.
Rose.
Like Swimfan love.
He won't let anyone talk to him.
He follows him everywhere.
One time, Mr.
Rose was taking a nap and I saw Brandt stroking his hair.
So completely creepy.
Just a couple of weeks ago, Mr.
Rose asked him to help him with an anniversary party for Mrs.
Rose and Brandt threw a teacup at the wall.
I mean, the guy's been married for 10 years.
Brandt thinks he's going to switch teams for his teacup-throwing ass? - I don't think so.
- That's very helpful, Hallie.
Yeah, because it's the truth.
And sharing the truth is good.
I say we ride that honesty wave all the way home.
Side question, what do you know about Patrice Pitrelli? God, what's with all the questions? What's next? You wanna know where I buried Jimmy Hoffman? Dustin's brother? I don't know who you've been talking to, but nothing happened.
I didn't go here yet, but my sisters told me everything.
She had too many hard lemonades and fell off the roof.
That's it.
No one did anything to her.
I didn't suggest anyone did.
Did Patrice claim someone did something to her? No, it's all lies.
Ask anyone in her pledge class.
That's an excellent idea, Hallie, thank you.
So, what happened after she fell? Nothing.
It's not like she died or anything.
Oh, and speaking of, you'll be happy to know.
Karen? Our den mother? We had a car wash, and raised enough money for another round of chemo.
Stay sweet, Veronica.
Bye.
I don't know about you, but I am dripping with information.
And I have so much information, I have no place left inside for food.
Spill.
Roger Hearst is halting Selma's buy-American plan.
It will save the company hundreds of millions but it is exactly the kind of business practice Selma is fighting against.
Suspicious? I think so.
Well, I rattled that sorority girl's cage and she sang like a canary.
She thinks that guy Brandt is a whack job.
He's not a big fan of hers, either.
Apparently, Brandt is the Smithers to Mr.
Rose's Monty Burns.
There are tales of hair stroking, Swimfan- ian-like love.
Mr.
Rose asked for help with his 10-year anniversary party.
Brandt's response? - Throwing a teacup.
- A 10-year wedding anniversary? Have I taught you nothing? What do we call a 10th anniversary in the PI biz? Dine and ditch.
After 10 years of marriage, a spouse is entitled to half of his partner's assets.
You cut the cord before 10 years, you don't have to pay.
- But she's the one with the loot.
- That's my point exactly.
The brother says the marriage is in trouble.
You think the husband had her, you know? - That's one extreme possibility.
- Yeah, what's the other? Play a hunch? Brandt said Selma's dogs are the children she never had.
If Budd's trying to, say, keep her hidden, I bet she'll be a lot quieter with her kids around.
This is just like that time we went to Disneyland.
If I have another altercation with Snow White and her disapproving dwarves you're taking Sneezy this time.
Okay.
The park is closed.
The walrus out front should have told you.
Honey, stealthy, remember? Right.
Sorry.
You're not gonna find this anywhere else.
This is one of the top-rated bagless vacuum cleaners on the market.
On the market today and if you call, you'll not only get the upholstery attachment but we are gonna give you Mrs.
Rose? Are you all right? I'd be better if you closed the door and didn't try to rescue me.
Mrs.
Rose, my name is Keith Mars.
I'm a private investigator.
Cyrus O'Dell hired me to find you.
Poor Cyrus.
He can't get anything right, can he? You were at the reception.
This is my daughter, Veronica.
She works with me, occasionally.
Ryan, Tatum.
When he gets in a jam, I make with the cute.
Well, you can tell Cyrus I'm safe.
Can I tell him how you wound up missing in your own guesthouse? Are you in some sort of trouble? I will be if you tell anyone you saw me.
So I would appreciate it if you didn't.
I can appreciate it monetarily if that's necessary.
It isn't.
I'm already being paid by someone who's extremely concerned about you.
Well, how about I tell you my story and you find a way to let Cyrus know I'm okay without giving me up? No promises.
He's afraid you've been kidnapped.
Nope.
No kidnapping here.
Just good old-fashioned blackmail.
My husband knows about my lover, and he's demanded I "disappear" until after our 10th anniversary.
The dine and ditch.
What, he'd only wind up with 10 million instead of a hundred? Something like that.
Look, I've just got two days to go.
You could stall Cyrus that long.
But why make you disappear? Why not just wait to make you sign the divorce papers until after the 10-year anniversary? I wish I knew.
I know.
Your brother is killing your "Buy American" plan.
He's negotiating with Southeast Asian companies.
In a few days, your company will be locked in to contracts.
Your stock's going through the roof.
Budd stands to make millions more in a fifty-fifty split.
- What a bastard.
- Hey, Veronica.
She's right.
Our marriage was great until after his accident.
Suddenly, he had something to prove, and having sex with as many women as possible was apparently the way to do it.
I'm sorry if this is out of line but plenty of couples have split over infidelity.
I'm sure you can find a lawyer who could get you out less expensively.
Have you ever been a walking punch line, Mr.
Mars? I mean, on a national scale? - Actually - Because I've been.
And I've spent the rest of my life trying to earn back a certain measure of respect.
This would put me back at square one.
- Hallie? - So you've met? She called me out of the reception and broke the news.
She didn't love me.
She seduced me for Budd.
They're gonna run away together and live off my money.
Maybe we can fix this another way.
Were you wearing those earrings that night? I was.
And do you have access to Budd's e-mail accounts? So the plan's in motion? As we speak.
We found the perfect eyewitness to the kidnapping.
It's not me, is it? Whatever happened to winter, spring, summer or fall, all I gotta do is call and you'll be there? Man, all my orifices just went on lockdown.
Hey, hey, stop.
Who needs a spanking? It's okay, Veronica.
It's okay.
I'm here to help.
What the hell is going on? Just calm down, all right? Mr.
Echolls has been concerned about your safety.
I've been hired to keep an eye on you.
Sheriff, hey, this man came in and wanted to file a report He claims to have seen Selma Rose the night she went missing.
That guy? Yeah.
He said he saw her having a fight with a girl from the college.
I got him looking at a Hearst yearbook.
Found her.
Oh, my God, was I, like, speeding? Because I so didn't know.
- No, no, no.
You were fine.
- Oh, okay.
I didn't think I was.
I'll need you to step out of the vehicle.
I have spent the last few days being terrified that I had some whacked-out rapist following me.
- Look, I had the same fear.
- So you pay someone to tail me? No.
So I asked you to stop putting yourself in danger.
You told me to piss off, then I hired someone to protect you.
You had no right to do that.
Look, that's probably true.
Okay? It's just I don't care.
You don't care? I don't give a rat's ass if it's right or fair.
I don't care if you're angry.
I care that you're safe.
That's all sweet and great, but it doesn't really work that way.
It's not like this is all some new facet of my personality.
You know who I am.
- You know what I do.
- And? And it isn't gonna change.
If you can't accept that, this isn't gonna work.
You know who I am and you're constantly expecting me to change.
And even right now, as you're thinking, "Crap, he's got a point" you still think you're ultimately right.
I love you, Veronica.
I love you.
Do you love me? Yeah.
Then can we try to go a little easier on each other? Yeah.
I think that's a good idea.
So are we okay? Yeah.
We're okay.
- Can I help you? - Yes.
You can move out of my way.
Brandt, who is it? Oh, is this about Selma? Have you found her? No, sir.
We didn't find your wife.
We did find one of her earrings.
It was in your girlfriend's car.
We also found love letters from you on Hallie's laptop.
I can see why you like her.
She's a very sweet girl.
Not very tough.
She said we should take a look in your guesthouse.
Cute young girlfriend, rich older wife.
I'm kind of shocked I'm not investigating a murder.
Look, you can keep on talking all you want but I'm not saying one more word until my lawyer gets here.
Mrs.
Rose was hoping for a moment alone with her husband.
Was Roger in on it or were you just counting on him to do the wrong thing? He is reliable that way.
An early anniversary present.
Unless you had your heart set on prison.
I'm grateful for your help, but a little surprised I didn't get a discount.
Repeat customer and all.
I didn't charge for the photocopies or the stamps.
Oh, that was nice.
Who knew the cavalry would be so handsome? Don't be nice to me, Selma.
It'll ruin everything.
I'm on my way to vote.
Fate of the Greeks in my hands and all.
How are they faring? It's a difficult decision.
My official vote is screw them.
They're out of here.
I know you think I'm some kind of gold digger, but I love Budd.
And all of his beautiful money? Or is true love so blind you didn't notice he's an adulterer, older than your father, confined to a wheelchair? Budd Rose is more of a man than you could handle.
Slow down, Anna Nicole.
You're skeeving me out.
The fact is I don't care if he's Ron Jeremy on wheels.
You want to impress me? Tell me the truth about Patrice Pitrelli.
I told you.
I didn't go here then.
Besides, Patrice's best friend just faked a rape.
- Why aren't you picking on her? - Patrice was friends with Claire? Yeah.
They were in the same pledge class.
What did Chip Diller have to do with Patrice Pitrelli falling off of the Theta Beta house? - Come in.
- We'll enlighten you.
- Who's we? Look who just showed up asking about Patrice.
Veronica Mars.
I'm impressed with your tenacity if not your politics.
- I can die happy.
- What'd you hear about Patrice? She fell off the roof of the Theta Beta house.
She didn't fall.
She walked right off.
- Why? - Finally.
A smart question.
The Theta Betas used to take some pledges to a room where they have them undress.
Are you still trying to sell that? I've been there.
- There is no two-way mirror.
- Then they paneled over it.
I saw it.
The rush officer would have the girls strip then they'd point out the parts that needed work.
Like they were being helpful.
They'd circle them with a marker like a plastic surgeon during a consultation.
- They did that to you? No.
They only did it to the girls who they thought needed help.
- And Patrice needed help? - They practically covered her in circles.
She was pale and pudgy, but a legacy.
She was crying when someone turned on the light in the secret room.
And there they were, a crowd of Pi Sigs laughing their asses off.
Chip Diller started calling her Marshmallow.
The name stuck.
They used permanent marker.
Not only did she have to deal with being called Marshmallow she had those marks all over her for weeks.
The sorority sisters kept telling her a tan would fix everything.
They kept insisting she lay on the roof with us.
But she was still all marked up.
She surprised us one day by walking out on the roof but instead of plopping down on a towel she just strolled right off the edge.
What happened to her? She was in the hospital for a couple months.
Now she's in a mental-health facility.
- You don't believe it? - Oh, I believe you.
And I think it's horrible.
I also think it's powerful motivation for someone to take desperate action.
Fake a rape, right? Possibly a series of rapes.
How many of them were real? I mean, other than Chip Diller's? There hasn't been any forensic evidence, no semen no hair, found on any of the victims.
- The Greeks would be gone if you hadn't gotten them off.
Are you proud of that? The moral superiority would fit better if there wasn't already one fake rape on your resume.
Nothing hurts the cause more than that.
You know I'm right.
I'll show myself out.
Dude, it's Chip Diller.
Your portfolio was still in our former editor's desk when I took over.
I understand you two had some baggage, but that's irrelevant.
I'll take a talented photographer where I can find one.
- Great.
Thanks.
- You free tonight? - To take photos? - Yes.
That's why you're here.
You know about the election? The board of trustees is voting on a resolution to remove the Greek system from Hearst.
That's the one.
Vote's tomorrow.
Tonight there's a reception.
That's university-speak for cocktail party, for the board of trustees.
- We need art.
- Yeah, I can shoot it.
Bonus points if you get the dean wearing a lampshade.
But mostly we want pictures of our most famous alum and board member, Selma Rose.
- Selma Hearst Rose? - The very.
Granddaughter of our illustrious founder and heir to the Hearst-Mart fortune.
They've polled all the trustees.
Word is Selma's the swing vote.
My mom, California's last flower child, loved her.
She had a poster of her.
You know the shot I'm talking about? Flying over Watts in '73 dumping out sacks of cash, her entire trust fund.
She's giving the thumbs up, a huge smile on her face while millions rain down on the ghetto.
- Well, she had her heart in the right place.
Riots ensued.
She was arrested when she landed.
Served a month in county jail.
Perhaps the most embarrassing case of noblesse oblige of the 20th century.
- Yo, you guys pay for photos? - Sometimes.
Great.
I got your front page right here.
Is that Chip Diller? President of the Pi Sigs, in all his glory.
I'm off to steal the souls of the rich with my evil image-capturing device.
Have fun.
Oh, and call Logan.
He left a couple of messages.
I will.
Bye.
- Hey there.
Tall, dark and timely.
- I've been trying to reach you.
- Didn't you get my messages? - I did.
I'm sorry.
I was gonna We need to have a talk.
A serious one.
Yeah, I got that from your messages.
It's why I haven't called.
- I haven't had time to have a talk.
- I'll make it quick.
I want you to stay away from the rape case.
Just let it go.
It's clear the rapist knows who you are.
He doesn't know about the hair, just about the getting-dosed part.
Maybe he should be in the loop.
Don't you dare.
Fine, just stop digging around.
No more looking into the serial rapes.
No more putting your nose where it doesn't belong.
My nose kind of belongs wherever I decide to put it.
I'm worried about you.
Okay? I want you to stop now.
I'm not kidding.
Kind of a 180, isn't it? Can we rewind a week? Cue it up to the part where you were asking me to exonerate your vacation buddy, Mercer.
That was before you were attacked.
Why can't you just leave things alone? Now you're starting to piss me off.
Frankly, Veronica, so what? You're not invincible.
- And you're not always right.
- Hey.
You might wanna stop yelling at my daughter.
Yeah? You might wanna start.
Dad.
Please.
It's okay.
He's just worried about me.
Does he have a reason to be? The Hearst rapist has everyone on edge.
All right.
You take care of yourself.
I'm always a phone call away.
I know you are.
Ciao, Papa.
Selma, who am I gonna tell? How can I be the swing vote if you know which way I'm going to swing? Mind if I take a shot for the Hearst Free Press? Which one of my good sides? I'm guessing the one without the trail of Thousand Island.
You should really be nicer to me.
I'm about to kiss your ass.
I wanna thank all of you for coming.
Hearst College is extremely fortunate to have such well-respected members on its board.
And we're especially thrilled tonight to add Selma Rose to our distinguished panel.
Since taking over the family business two years ago Ms.
Rose has, step by step, turned Hearst-Mart into a leader in corporate responsibility.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Selma Hearst Rose.
Selma? You're not waiting for me to carry you piggyback, are you? Selma? Foul play? You think? What makes you say so? An extremely wealthy woman disappears in the middle of a reception in her honor.
Don't you find that, I don't know, odd? Well, there's odd and there's foul play.
Rich ladies aren't reliable creatures.
Of course.
She must have remembered her tennis lesson.
How silly of her to forget.
I don't suppose there's someone who would take this seriously.
Dollars to doughnuts, you'll find her sobbing at the club because she lost an earring.
Well, you'd be the doughnut expert.
Excuse me.
Veronica, I'd like to talk to your dad.
Beer off your belly, hand out of your boxers, put on some pants.
I'm bringing home a visitor.
Okay.
I love you.
Bye.
I've known this woman for almost 20 years.
If there's a microphone and an audience she's not going anywhere unless dragged.
- You talked to her husband? - He's terrified.
I'm telling you, anyone who knows Selma knows something is seriously wrong.
Look, the sheriff is an idiot.
I've met smarter sandwiches.
I'm afraid she's been kidnapped, Keith.
Hearst College has had riots, rapes, and now abductions? I need you to find her.
So I'll do what I can on the computer tonight.
Start with the legwork in the morning.
Thanks, Keith.
Oh, one last thing.
One of the board members said he saw Selma talking to a waitress as I began my introduction.
He turned around as I was calling for her and she was gone.
All right, we'll follow up on that.
Good night, Cyrus.
So here's my thought: I'll go talk to the family tomorrow and you talk to the waitress and the caterer.
High road.
Low road.
Got it.
So one of the board members said they saw Selma Rose talking with a waitress before she disappeared.
I was hoping to get the names and numbers of your wait staff.
Who are you again? Veronica.
Mars.
I'm working for the dean.
You can call him if you want.
Well, if it was a waitress and not a waiter then you only need one name.
There was only one girl working last night.
Hey, Fern.
What up, girl? What do you want, Buffy? Tiffany? Whatever your name is.
The Female Voice in Celtic Literature.
I am woman, hear me bore.
I heard you had a little chat with Selma Rose last night.
Right before she disappeared.
Can I guess? - She was contemplating a nose ring.
- I was letting her know she had a call.
- Who was calling? - I don't know.
Some woman.
The phone was ringing off the hook.
It was driving me up a wall so I answered it.
Someone wanted to speak to Selma Rose, I relayed the message.
- You didn't ask who was calling? - I didn't care.
You know what's funny? And not, like, funny ha-ha? A driving force in getting the Greeks kicked off campus, that's you is the last person seen speaking to the trustee with the swing vote.
You know what else is funny? The girl who saved the Pi Sigs is leading the charge to track down that vote.
I wasn't saving the Pi Sigs.
I was getting to the truth.
The truth is that your Pi Sig friends just kicked off Sex Quest '06.
- You know what that is, freshman? - Yeah.
They award themselves points for getting laid.
Just watch what you drink.
Mr.
Mars, sorry to keep you waiting.
- What is that? Is that a goldfish? - It's a carp.
A Golden Carp awarded Please don't touch it.
My name is Brandt.
I am Mr.
Rose's personal assistant.
Unfortunately, Mr.
Mars, my employer won't be able to see you at the moment.
- He's resting.
- I believe he's expecting me.
Mr.
Rose is understandably distraught, as I'm sure you can understand.
I've been hired to find Mrs.
Rose.
Mr.
Rose will wanna do everything possible to help.
Of course he does.
But as I mentioned, he's not available at the moment.
Brandt, will you stop harassing our guest? Bring him in here.
- Mr.
Rose, this is - Yes, Brandt, thank you.
I know.
- Can I get you? - No, just some privacy, please.
I'm sorry about Brandt.
He tries to protect me from, well, just about everything actually.
Do you have any news about my wife yet? - I'm sorry, not yet.
- Cyrus fears she's been kidnapped.
- Is that what you think? - Right now, it's a missing-person case.
There's no ransom note, no reason to jump to that conclusion.
No, no, right, I know.
I know, I should be stronger about all this.
Has your wife have any business problems that you might be aware of? Selma's always having business problems.
She's had to fight the board tooth and nail for every bit of reform she's brought about.
I'm afraid I don't know much about the business anymore.
Her brother Roger's flying in later today.
He was coming in for a meeting anyway.
He'll be taking care of the company in her absence.
It would be helpful to speak to him.
Oh, yes, of course.
I'll have Brandt give you the number to his assistant.
She flew in yesterday.
He likes to call her his advance team.
She's worse than Brandt actually.
Please let me know if I can be of any further assistance, Mr.
Mars.
Terrifying, aren't they? - Nice car.
Yours? - No.
That belongs to the grossly overpaid dog walker.
- I should get his name.
- It's a she.
Guess who's on the phone for you.
Someone who wants to sit on hold while you play stupid games? Martina Vasquez.
Martina Vasquez? The hottie from Channel Nine? Said she had a few questions about Selma Rose's disappearance.
Put her through for me.
Miss Vasquez, what can I do for you? Well, I am here to help in absolutely any way that I can.
By the way, I caught your most recent piece on the morning-after pill.
It was informative.
Well, thank you, sheriff.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
We've learned that Selma Rose received a phone call before she went missing.
Have you learned who the call was from yet? Actually, Martina, we checked that out and it was false information.
There was no record of an incoming call.
- You're sure? - lf you'd like I can keep you in the loop with this sort of stuff.
- Hello? Dad, I'm on the phone.
Oh, sorry, honey.
Let me know when you're off.
Sheriff, you were saying you'd be able to keep me in the loop? I'm off.
The Pi Sigs are doing their Sex Quest again.
Collecting points for conquests.
Think that's such a good idea at a university with a serial rapist on the loose? You raise an uninteresting point.
But, hey, don't worry your pretty head about your pal Dick.
My points are in order courtesy of Miss Bonnie Capistrano.
Her curvature of the spine is hardly noticeable but I still got the handicapped bonus.
- You're repugnant, Dick.
- Seriously, you hardly notice it.
Ever stop to think that the Pi Sig Sex Quest might be connected to your Pi Sig president getting his head shaved? Like it's a warning or retribution or something? Actually, that kind of makes sense.
Okay, I'm so not supposed to be telling you this, but it's way too good.
So not only did Chip get Kojaked, someone put a Roman numeral in one of those plastic Easter Eggs and stuck it in his where-the-sun-don't-shine place.
And you know where that is.
Worst Easter egg hunt ever.
Not a banner day for Chip Diller.
He had to get one of the brothers to help unpack his suitcase.
- What was the number? - What? You said there was a Roman numeral in the Easter egg.
You're missing the point.
They put it up his bleeding bum.
Which kind of speaks to the number being significant, don't you think? I guess.
I don't know what the number is.
It wasn't a baby shower.
We didn't all sit around waiting for him to open the egg so we could see what he got.
- You know what he did with it? If it's not in his hope chest I'm thinking he threw it out.
- When is your garbage collected? - And you think I'm "repungent"? Yes, Dick.
Yes, I do.
The garbage truck comes Friday morning.
Morty the homeless dude comes Thursdays to pull out bottles and cans.
Can't tell you if they recycle keister eggs.
Why are you following me around? Fulfilling my gym requirement.
Yoga had a written final.
So it turns out there was no record of an incoming call the night of Selma Hearst's reception.
Well, maybe the call came from an extension in the building.
Ever think of that? Just one more thing.
When you stick an Easter egg in a frat boy's out door, do you kiss him first? Is that a riddle? Poor Chip.
You really "rectum.
" Morty, my man.
So this is my friend Veronica.
Veronica, Morty.
Morty, Veronica.
This might sound like a strange proposition but while you're down there What the hell, Bonnie? That's exactly what I was thinking.
Another cute frat boy? What the hell? You realize you're worth like half the points now? You went from top-shelf to bargain-basement in three seconds.
It was more like the third-floor bathroom to the pinball machine in like 47 minutes.
She always gets a replay, never tilts at all.
Got it.
The incredible, inedible egg.
Selma's fine.
Trust me, I know my sister.
This is her just flaking out again.
Why is it doing that blinking thing? She's probably wrapped in algae somewhere outside of Santa Fe with cucumber slices on her eyes.
If she decided to flake, don't you think the middle of a reception is an odd time? Oh, it's the perfect time.
Right before she had to make a decision.
Doesn't sound like the behavior of the top executive of a Fortune 500 company.
Oh, my sister's not a businesswoman.
She's a humanitarian.
Not a big profit margin there.
Have you seen what Selma's disappearance has done to our stock? - I haven't.
- It's skyrocketing every day she's missing on the assumption that we'll sell merchandise manufactured in Asia.
Selma actually wanted Hearst-Mart to deal only American-made products which, here's a hot tip, we won't.
- I still don't have anything from Evan.
- I've left four messages.
And a fifth would kill you? My guess, she took off to get some time away from Budd.
Word is, she's already talked to a lawyer.
Your sister was considering getting a divorce? Since the accident, Budd has become more and more clingy.
He follows her around like a pull toy.
She probably cares more about her dogs than she does her husband.
I wouldn't be surprised if she left everything to little Ernest and Julio in her will.
Evan.
- They glued travel Scrabble tiles - C XI and CMIII.
- Inside a plastic Easter egg and stuck it Halfway to China.
I'm never going on another Easter egg hunt again.
And I'm never playing Scrabble again.
In Roman numerals, it's 111 and 903.
And for better or worse, you're my numbers guy.
So go.
- What am I doing? - Telling me what these numbers mean.
They mean we got some twisted sickos going to school here.
Anything else I can help you with? That's free of charge.
Come on.
It's one digit short of a phone number.
It could be a locker number.
- Why would someone stick an egg? - That's what I'm trying to find out.
Driver's license? Check number? - Just one egg, right? - Wallace.
- Maybe it's a student ID number.
- Brilliant.
No, one too many digits.
It's almost like you don't wanna help.
Hold the phone.
One, two Six.
It's a date.
That's almost exactly three years ago.
Three years and two days.
Closed library? Not to the help-desk girl.
To me it's wide open.
With all its lovely back issues of the Hearst Free Press just waiting to tell me if something significant happened on campus on 11/19/03.
Patrice Pitrelli falls off sorority-house roof? - Morning.
- Yes, it is.
Came a little bit earlier than I would have liked.
So I ran the plates for the Roses' dog walker.
You want me to go check her out? Size her up? Shake her down? If you wouldn't mind.
Lucky for you, I can do that in my sleep.
You're blocking my sun.
Oh, is that yours? I'm so sorry.
Oh, my God, Hallie are you, like, so totally worried about your missing boss? I know she had the power to kick you and your sisters off campus but you must be like a basket case and a half.
Your face is getting a little pinkish.
You should flip.
I'm Selma Rose's dog walker.
So? You having a job? Shock right there.
It requiring that you wear a plastic bag on your hand while waiting for Fido to kick out a lodger? That makes me dizzy.
You don't know the first thing about me, Veronica.
I know like eight, possibly nine things.
But you're right, I have no idea which one is first.
Is it that you're a Theta Beta that'd do anything for her sorority? You think I had something to do with Mrs.
Rose's disappearance? Perhaps.
You should be concerned about Brandt.
Mr.
Rose's assistant? He's, like, in love with Mr.
Rose.
Like Swimfan love.
He won't let anyone talk to him.
He follows him everywhere.
One time, Mr.
Rose was taking a nap and I saw Brandt stroking his hair.
So completely creepy.
Just a couple of weeks ago, Mr.
Rose asked him to help him with an anniversary party for Mrs.
Rose and Brandt threw a teacup at the wall.
I mean, the guy's been married for 10 years.
Brandt thinks he's going to switch teams for his teacup-throwing ass? - I don't think so.
- That's very helpful, Hallie.
Yeah, because it's the truth.
And sharing the truth is good.
I say we ride that honesty wave all the way home.
Side question, what do you know about Patrice Pitrelli? God, what's with all the questions? What's next? You wanna know where I buried Jimmy Hoffman? Dustin's brother? I don't know who you've been talking to, but nothing happened.
I didn't go here yet, but my sisters told me everything.
She had too many hard lemonades and fell off the roof.
That's it.
No one did anything to her.
I didn't suggest anyone did.
Did Patrice claim someone did something to her? No, it's all lies.
Ask anyone in her pledge class.
That's an excellent idea, Hallie, thank you.
So, what happened after she fell? Nothing.
It's not like she died or anything.
Oh, and speaking of, you'll be happy to know.
Karen? Our den mother? We had a car wash, and raised enough money for another round of chemo.
Stay sweet, Veronica.
Bye.
I don't know about you, but I am dripping with information.
And I have so much information, I have no place left inside for food.
Spill.
Roger Hearst is halting Selma's buy-American plan.
It will save the company hundreds of millions but it is exactly the kind of business practice Selma is fighting against.
Suspicious? I think so.
Well, I rattled that sorority girl's cage and she sang like a canary.
She thinks that guy Brandt is a whack job.
He's not a big fan of hers, either.
Apparently, Brandt is the Smithers to Mr.
Rose's Monty Burns.
There are tales of hair stroking, Swimfan- ian-like love.
Mr.
Rose asked for help with his 10-year anniversary party.
Brandt's response? - Throwing a teacup.
- A 10-year wedding anniversary? Have I taught you nothing? What do we call a 10th anniversary in the PI biz? Dine and ditch.
After 10 years of marriage, a spouse is entitled to half of his partner's assets.
You cut the cord before 10 years, you don't have to pay.
- But she's the one with the loot.
- That's my point exactly.
The brother says the marriage is in trouble.
You think the husband had her, you know? - That's one extreme possibility.
- Yeah, what's the other? Play a hunch? Brandt said Selma's dogs are the children she never had.
If Budd's trying to, say, keep her hidden, I bet she'll be a lot quieter with her kids around.
This is just like that time we went to Disneyland.
If I have another altercation with Snow White and her disapproving dwarves you're taking Sneezy this time.
Okay.
The park is closed.
The walrus out front should have told you.
Honey, stealthy, remember? Right.
Sorry.
You're not gonna find this anywhere else.
This is one of the top-rated bagless vacuum cleaners on the market.
On the market today and if you call, you'll not only get the upholstery attachment but we are gonna give you Mrs.
Rose? Are you all right? I'd be better if you closed the door and didn't try to rescue me.
Mrs.
Rose, my name is Keith Mars.
I'm a private investigator.
Cyrus O'Dell hired me to find you.
Poor Cyrus.
He can't get anything right, can he? You were at the reception.
This is my daughter, Veronica.
She works with me, occasionally.
Ryan, Tatum.
When he gets in a jam, I make with the cute.
Well, you can tell Cyrus I'm safe.
Can I tell him how you wound up missing in your own guesthouse? Are you in some sort of trouble? I will be if you tell anyone you saw me.
So I would appreciate it if you didn't.
I can appreciate it monetarily if that's necessary.
It isn't.
I'm already being paid by someone who's extremely concerned about you.
Well, how about I tell you my story and you find a way to let Cyrus know I'm okay without giving me up? No promises.
He's afraid you've been kidnapped.
Nope.
No kidnapping here.
Just good old-fashioned blackmail.
My husband knows about my lover, and he's demanded I "disappear" until after our 10th anniversary.
The dine and ditch.
What, he'd only wind up with 10 million instead of a hundred? Something like that.
Look, I've just got two days to go.
You could stall Cyrus that long.
But why make you disappear? Why not just wait to make you sign the divorce papers until after the 10-year anniversary? I wish I knew.
I know.
Your brother is killing your "Buy American" plan.
He's negotiating with Southeast Asian companies.
In a few days, your company will be locked in to contracts.
Your stock's going through the roof.
Budd stands to make millions more in a fifty-fifty split.
- What a bastard.
- Hey, Veronica.
She's right.
Our marriage was great until after his accident.
Suddenly, he had something to prove, and having sex with as many women as possible was apparently the way to do it.
I'm sorry if this is out of line but plenty of couples have split over infidelity.
I'm sure you can find a lawyer who could get you out less expensively.
Have you ever been a walking punch line, Mr.
Mars? I mean, on a national scale? - Actually - Because I've been.
And I've spent the rest of my life trying to earn back a certain measure of respect.
This would put me back at square one.
- Hallie? - So you've met? She called me out of the reception and broke the news.
She didn't love me.
She seduced me for Budd.
They're gonna run away together and live off my money.
Maybe we can fix this another way.
Were you wearing those earrings that night? I was.
And do you have access to Budd's e-mail accounts? So the plan's in motion? As we speak.
We found the perfect eyewitness to the kidnapping.
It's not me, is it? Whatever happened to winter, spring, summer or fall, all I gotta do is call and you'll be there? Man, all my orifices just went on lockdown.
Hey, hey, stop.
Who needs a spanking? It's okay, Veronica.
It's okay.
I'm here to help.
What the hell is going on? Just calm down, all right? Mr.
Echolls has been concerned about your safety.
I've been hired to keep an eye on you.
Sheriff, hey, this man came in and wanted to file a report He claims to have seen Selma Rose the night she went missing.
That guy? Yeah.
He said he saw her having a fight with a girl from the college.
I got him looking at a Hearst yearbook.
Found her.
Oh, my God, was I, like, speeding? Because I so didn't know.
- No, no, no.
You were fine.
- Oh, okay.
I didn't think I was.
I'll need you to step out of the vehicle.
I have spent the last few days being terrified that I had some whacked-out rapist following me.
- Look, I had the same fear.
- So you pay someone to tail me? No.
So I asked you to stop putting yourself in danger.
You told me to piss off, then I hired someone to protect you.
You had no right to do that.
Look, that's probably true.
Okay? It's just I don't care.
You don't care? I don't give a rat's ass if it's right or fair.
I don't care if you're angry.
I care that you're safe.
That's all sweet and great, but it doesn't really work that way.
It's not like this is all some new facet of my personality.
You know who I am.
- You know what I do.
- And? And it isn't gonna change.
If you can't accept that, this isn't gonna work.
You know who I am and you're constantly expecting me to change.
And even right now, as you're thinking, "Crap, he's got a point" you still think you're ultimately right.
I love you, Veronica.
I love you.
Do you love me? Yeah.
Then can we try to go a little easier on each other? Yeah.
I think that's a good idea.
So are we okay? Yeah.
We're okay.
- Can I help you? - Yes.
You can move out of my way.
Brandt, who is it? Oh, is this about Selma? Have you found her? No, sir.
We didn't find your wife.
We did find one of her earrings.
It was in your girlfriend's car.
We also found love letters from you on Hallie's laptop.
I can see why you like her.
She's a very sweet girl.
Not very tough.
She said we should take a look in your guesthouse.
Cute young girlfriend, rich older wife.
I'm kind of shocked I'm not investigating a murder.
Look, you can keep on talking all you want but I'm not saying one more word until my lawyer gets here.
Mrs.
Rose was hoping for a moment alone with her husband.
Was Roger in on it or were you just counting on him to do the wrong thing? He is reliable that way.
An early anniversary present.
Unless you had your heart set on prison.
I'm grateful for your help, but a little surprised I didn't get a discount.
Repeat customer and all.
I didn't charge for the photocopies or the stamps.
Oh, that was nice.
Who knew the cavalry would be so handsome? Don't be nice to me, Selma.
It'll ruin everything.
I'm on my way to vote.
Fate of the Greeks in my hands and all.
How are they faring? It's a difficult decision.
My official vote is screw them.
They're out of here.
I know you think I'm some kind of gold digger, but I love Budd.
And all of his beautiful money? Or is true love so blind you didn't notice he's an adulterer, older than your father, confined to a wheelchair? Budd Rose is more of a man than you could handle.
Slow down, Anna Nicole.
You're skeeving me out.
The fact is I don't care if he's Ron Jeremy on wheels.
You want to impress me? Tell me the truth about Patrice Pitrelli.
I told you.
I didn't go here then.
Besides, Patrice's best friend just faked a rape.
- Why aren't you picking on her? - Patrice was friends with Claire? Yeah.
They were in the same pledge class.
What did Chip Diller have to do with Patrice Pitrelli falling off of the Theta Beta house? - Come in.
- We'll enlighten you.
- Who's we? Look who just showed up asking about Patrice.
Veronica Mars.
I'm impressed with your tenacity if not your politics.
- I can die happy.
- What'd you hear about Patrice? She fell off the roof of the Theta Beta house.
She didn't fall.
She walked right off.
- Why? - Finally.
A smart question.
The Theta Betas used to take some pledges to a room where they have them undress.
Are you still trying to sell that? I've been there.
- There is no two-way mirror.
- Then they paneled over it.
I saw it.
The rush officer would have the girls strip then they'd point out the parts that needed work.
Like they were being helpful.
They'd circle them with a marker like a plastic surgeon during a consultation.
- They did that to you? No.
They only did it to the girls who they thought needed help.
- And Patrice needed help? - They practically covered her in circles.
She was pale and pudgy, but a legacy.
She was crying when someone turned on the light in the secret room.
And there they were, a crowd of Pi Sigs laughing their asses off.
Chip Diller started calling her Marshmallow.
The name stuck.
They used permanent marker.
Not only did she have to deal with being called Marshmallow she had those marks all over her for weeks.
The sorority sisters kept telling her a tan would fix everything.
They kept insisting she lay on the roof with us.
But she was still all marked up.
She surprised us one day by walking out on the roof but instead of plopping down on a towel she just strolled right off the edge.
What happened to her? She was in the hospital for a couple months.
Now she's in a mental-health facility.
- You don't believe it? - Oh, I believe you.
And I think it's horrible.
I also think it's powerful motivation for someone to take desperate action.
Fake a rape, right? Possibly a series of rapes.
How many of them were real? I mean, other than Chip Diller's? There hasn't been any forensic evidence, no semen no hair, found on any of the victims.
- The Greeks would be gone if you hadn't gotten them off.
Are you proud of that? The moral superiority would fit better if there wasn't already one fake rape on your resume.
Nothing hurts the cause more than that.
You know I'm right.
I'll show myself out.