Wander Over Yonder (2013) s02e05 Episode Script

The Loose Screw; The It

1 [title music.]
Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Wander Wander over over yonder yonder Wander yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Wander Wander over over yonder yonder Wander yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder [evil laughter.]
Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Wander Wander over over yonder yonder Wander yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder [engine sputtering.]
[backfires, engine dies.]
[grunting.]
SYLVIA: Don't sweat it.
I love working on these old beauts.
They may have a lot of light years on 'em, but they were built to last.
Sylvia will have you up and runnin' in no time, Miss Starbella.
Oh, please, call me Stella.
- But again, I really don't need any help.
- Oh, it's no trouble at all.
We saw you floatin' out here all by your lonesome and figured it never hurts to help.
Suit yourself, but there's no need.
That engine's been on the fritz since I defeated Mandrake the Malfeasant in the Battle of Planet X, thus ending his tyrannical reign.
My pilot and man-at-arms Mittens handles all the repairs himself.
But he's being a bit aloof today.
Have you met Mittens? Say hello, Mittens.
[Mittens yowling.]
Aha! A loose screw! Maybe that's it.
[clatter.]
Nope.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Self-destruct system initiated.
Please enter your password to deactivate or prepare to implode in 30 seconds.
- Um, Miss Stella, what's your password? - Is it in with the instructions? Or maybe you can call the Customer Service.
Not sure we have that kind of time.
Maybe you have it written down? Well, I don't know.
Is it "Mittens"? - Have you met Mittens? - Get off! M-I-T-T-E-N-S.
Enter.
[buzzer.]
It's not "Mittens"! - Miss Starbella, we really need your - 10, 9 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, - 3, 2, 1 - P-A-S-S-W-O-R-D.
[self-destruct powers down.]
Oh, that password.
Mittens usually keeps track of all those things.
Don't you, Mittens? Sylvia, I'm really worried that SYLVIA: It's not just Miss Stella's engine that needs a jump-start? Yeah.
And though she says she doesn't, I really think that [gasps.]
She really does need our help? - Yeah.
So I think - We should stick around and make sure that she really is okay? - Yeah.
'Cause - There's no telling what being all alone in deep space can do you you? I knitted you both sweaters.
The evenings out here get awfully drafty.
Mayday! Mayday! If anyone is out there, Sherblorg 7 is under attack.
Please! Anyone! We need help! Wander, Sherblorg 7 needs our help right away! I know, but we can't just leave Stella here alone and helpless.
We gotta make sure she's okay.
Now: Who wants to play rummy? All right, but in order to fix the ship, I need you to ask Miss Starbella if she has a supersonic socket wrench.
Now: Hurry! Oh, I know I had a supersonic - socket wrench here somewhere.
- Ooh, careful.
Saved it from when I overthrew an organized time syndicate.
Maybe it's in Ohh! [gasps.]
"Send Donnie Burns' grandson a graduation card.
" I did that.
Sherblorg 7, come in, Sherblorg 7.
Oh, thank Grop.
Yes! Um, signal received, we're coming to rescue you! Oh, thank Grop! We'll be there right away! Oh, thank Grop!!! - STELLA: Maybe it's in my pocketbook.
- Please hold! Ohh, Grop.
No.
That's my change purse.
Well, that's a satchel.
Wait.
What's that up there? My cookie jar! Been looking all over for that.
You want some cookies? I'll make cookies.
No! SHERBLORG KING: Where are you?! What in Grop's name could be taking so long? - Miss Stella, can we - Silence! Respect the baking process.
[Sherblorg king crying.]
[oven timer rings.]
SYLVIA: Oh, look.
Supersonic socket wrench.
[engine revs.]
SYLVIA: Fixed it! Sherblorg 7, Sherblorg 7, we are on our way! Don't bother.
We've been captured.
You're too late.
Hope you got your wrench.
STELLA: Shame.
Someone should try and help those nice folks.
- BOTH: Stella?! - That's Starbella! And Sherblorg 7 needs my help! [engine powers up.]
[both scream.]
- Sylvia, I think - She's completely lost her marbles? No.
There they are! Sherblorg 7, this is Vengastar.
We're entering your system, so would you please be a dear and prepare for rescue? Thank you.
Oh! Starbella! - KING: Oh, thank Grop! - MAN: So, Starbella [wheezing.]
we meet again.
Mandrake the Malfeasant! I should have known.
[engine sputtering.]
- What happened? - And where's Stella? We gotta find her before she - doesn't something really - Kooky! [Mittens yowls.]
Prepare to meet your [wheezing.]
doom.
Oh, poop.
I'm in no hurry to do that.
[both roar.]
- Miss Stella! Are you okay? - It's Starbella.
And I already told ya, sweetie, I don't need your Help! [evil laughter.]
[wheezing.]
[Mandrake coughing, wheezing.]
That's right.
I, Mandrake the Malfeasant, am back to show these these Lord Hatreds and emperors and rock stars with their skulls and fish faces what a real[coughs.]
villain is all about! With Sherblorg 7 in my control, I'm more vital [wheezing.]
Now prepare[coughs.]
to die! [coughing fit.]
Starbella, I may have conquered many planets in my day, but I never conquered your heart.
[coughing.]
Good Grop, Mandrake, can't we just have a good time? You always gotta complicate things by throwing a wrench into the works! [music.]
Robots! Seize her! [crashes.]
MANDRAKE: Gotcha, Starbella! Now you're mine! Bwah-hah-hah [coughing.]
So long, old friend.
[loud crash.]
[alarm blaring.]
AUTOMATED VOICE: Attention, Mandrake.
Self-destruct system activated.
Enter your password to deactivate or prepare to implode in 30 seconds.
29, 28, 27 Password.
Password [deep breath.]
Wow.
Guess you really didn't need our help.
But we sure needed yours.
[deep breath.]
"Evil one"? "QWERTY"? "Canasta Champ"? [alarm continues.]
Ohh.
Uh "Starbella's Fella"? Starbella, interstellar [music.]
You're the light in any feller's eyes You hypnotize me STELLA: And then the missiles exploded, and made for quite the ballyhoo! BOTH: Whoa! Miss Starbella, you are a delight.
And like this ship, you may have a lot of light years on you, but you were built to last.
Well, enough of my babbling.
You all probably want to get going.
No! Don't leave me! BOTH: No! I, on the other hand, really should be saying my farewells.
I have a galaxy to conquer, and [all laughing.]
Starbella, interstellar You make me feel so young Yeah PEEPERS: Lord Dominator! - Boo! I hate that guy! - Well, you should, sir.
He's climbed to the top of the Galactic Villain Leaderboard in record time! I assume you mean close to the top.
After yours truly, Lord Hater, #1 Superstar.
Sir, we're not even in the Top Ten.
- What?! - We're way down here, between Something the So-and-So and an empty blank space.
Oh, I see.
And how many planets does Wander have? None! Zero! He doesn't conquer planets! I don't even think he has a house! Sir, if you want to make it back onto the Top Ten, you have to stop viewing Wander as a threat and focus on actual villains that are actual threats.
Like Dominator.
Grrr! Let's start with General McGuffin.
Now, our spies have located a weak spot in the force field around McGuffin's heavily fortified military stronghold.
We sneak in, deactivate the force field, take his base, and steal his territory.
Called, that'll pad our planetary numbers quite nicely.
Point me at him! I'll deep-fry the feathers off him! Love that enthusiasm, but this will be a delicate covert operation with lots of twists and turns.
I need your undivided attention.
Do I have your undivided attention? Absolutely.
Nothing will distract me from taking out these losers and re-becoming the greatest in the galaxy! [thunder crashes.]
Tag! You're It! Oh, no.
Commander Peepers.
I believe you were going to brief us on your invasion plan.
You You're not gonna flip out and chase after him? Please.
Do you think I'm going to let some silly game ruin my chances at galactic superiority? Uh, you do seem to do that a lot, so Of course not, sir.
Glad to see you've got your eyes on the prize! Now, General McGuffin's base has 32 separate sentry turrets surveying 45 degree angles in varying intervals.
After fording the perimeter moat, which is crawling with water wingmen, we'll hit the infinity minefield full of self-preparing mines.
I'm not gonna lie not all of you are gonna make it back through that one.
I'm lookin' at you, Pap.
The secondary moat is tricky.
It's rigged with alarm sensors that can tag our presence and it alternates its pattern.
If you're tagged, it is imperative that you tag its it-it while it tags the it-it tag.
It-it-tag-tag-it-tag- it-it-tag-tag-it.
You all got that? Great.
'Cause this is where it gets tricky.
Because everything we've just encountered is actually a mass hallucination induced by General McGuffin's psychic battalion.
We have to confront our innermost fears in order to defeat them, awake from the dream state, and then start the whole thing over again from Step One.
The conference table is base! - What was that? - Nothing! Totally paying attention.
Good.
Now, once we've escaped to that alternate timeline [Peepers continues.]
Psst.
Barry.
Take your hand off the table.
Oh, no! There's a big, scary monster under the table! And he's, like, totally gonna eat you unless you run away from the table! Run, Barry, run! Barry! As your Supreme Leader, I'm warning you to take your hand off the table! Grrr! [electrical crackling.]
No tag backs! [roars.]
Which leads us to Step 47A, subsection B, 4th appendix.
Now that we've cleared the outer-inner inner-outer perimeter, we have to circumvent the inner-inner-inner-outer LORD HATER: Okay, who can I tag? Who can I tag? Who can I Bingo.
posted at the turrets each grew up in different time zones, so their Circadian sleep rhythms will be all out of sync.
Question, sir? Bathroom break! I need a bathroom break.
[all roaring.]
LORD HATER: Get back here! Slow down! Okay, new plan.
If we want to have any chance of pulling this off, one of you is gonna have to let him tag you.
Uh, sir? Why don't you let him tag you? [stammering.]
No! Of course, that wouldn't work because as his second in command I can't be It because Ohh, fine! You're all a bunch of babies! [roaring, screaming.]
Everybody get back here! Sir, in the interest of the invasion, I have decided to let you tag me.
Thanks, CPeeps.
Tag, you're Oh! Sorry, sir, I must have tripped.
Go ahead.
- Peepers - I don't know what's come over me.
I promise, sir, this time I will remain completely still.
Aaaah! Sir, I don't wanna be It! Peepers, get back here! [Lord Hater roars, Peepers screams.]
Food court is a safe zone! [mellow music plays.]
[slurps.]
Safe zone expired! WANDER: The floor is hot lava! [swords clang.]
[chuckles.]
Tag.
PEEPERS: Freeze tag.
[muffled shouting.]
Oh, no! You accidentally froze Lord Hater in Coldbrrnite! Yes, accidentally.
And that's exactly what we'll tell him when we unfreeze him after we break into General McGuffin's fortress.
Finally! I have your undivided attention.
So let's talk about your feelings.
[muffled screams.]
[birds shriek.]
[music.]
[beeping.]
Have you ever considered a healthier outlet for your aggression? You could be a pastry chef! Eww.
No, I've tasted your cooking.
Ooh! Or a professional luchador! El Esqueleto Electrico! [muffled shouting.]
I don't think I'm getting through to you.
Lets try music therapy! Oh, wander Over yonder [beeping.]
When darkness comes a-creepin' And you're feelin' down Just Wander over yonder And turn your life around I think I'm cracking through your cold exterior! [roars.]
Whoop.
Game on! Taaaaaaag! The force field generator.
Disable that, and our army can descend on the fortress before General McGuffin even knows we're here.
[alarm wails.]
What the How?! Taaaaaaaag! Oh, no.
Tag! Tag! Taaaag! [weapons power up.]
What in the Sam Hill is goin' on in here? Lord Hater's It! - Lord Hater's It? - Taaaaaag! Wha Wingmen! Scatter! Scatter! Taaaaaaag! Oh, yes.
This, I can use.
Taaaaag! [screams.]
[bell rings.]
Taaaaag! [bell rings.]
Taaaaag! Taaaaaag! Taaaaaaag! PEEPERS: We did it, sir! We're back on the Top Ten! [band plays, crowd cheering.]
What? We did? Everyone is terrified of being It! A true villain turns a weakness into a strength! - We're going all the way to the top! - We are? We are.
Yeah! High-five! Nooooooo!!! [explosion.]
I'm It? I'm It! I have the power! [crazy laughter.]
[sighs.]
Okay, here's the elaborate, multi-part plan to defeat our new arch-nemesis, Ted from Accounting.
- Got your nose! - Give it back! Sir, you don't have a nose.
Yeah, because Wander stole it! Get back here! [crying.]
There, there.
It's not gonna be okay.
Now, General McGuffin's base has 32 separate sentry turrets surveying 45 degree angles in varying intervals.
After fording the perimeter moat, which is crawling with water wingmen, we'll hit the infinity minefield full of self-preparing mines.
I'm not gonna lie not all of you are gonna make it back through that one.
I'm lookin' at you, Pap.
This is where it gets tricky, because everything we've just encountered is actually a mass hallucination induced by General McGuffin's psychic battalion.
We have to confront our innermost fears in order to defeat them, awake from the dream state, and then start the whole thing over again from Step One.

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