Warehouse 13 s01e09 Episode Script
Duped
Previously on Warehouse 13 So you know it's Macpherson.
I'm right.
Yes, I'm afraid you are.
And he now has a sword which renders him invisible.
Now it's up to you to stop him.
You always hurt the one you love.
Artie? No, no, no, no! Okay, just stop.
Okay, stop and think this through.
Uh guess what.
I'm still taking the artifact.
I can't let you do that, Pete.
Turn around.
No.
Macpherson is alive and loose somewhere in the world.
Stopping Macpherson is not your job! My what? Protecting the world happens to be my job! And right now that is being threatened by an insane ex-warehouse agent who is competing for artifacts that belong right out there.
Mrs.
Frederic said that she will handle it.
I can do it.
Artie, he ran a sword through your chest.
I'm all right.
You could have died.
Please just let Mrs.
Frederic handle it, okay? This? This is your job, Artie.
And you're not doing it.
You have Pete, Myka, and Claudia spread out through the warehouse taking inventory for you day after day.
Meanwhile, all Meanwhile, these things are piling up.
Yes, they are.
I'm pretty hard to kill.
Pete? Really? Really? You want some of that? Pete? Ooh, nice one.
Did not see that coming.
Playing with yourself again? One game.
A quickie.
We got time.
Besides, none of this stuff's going anywhere.
Right, buddy? Okay, this stuff is dangerous, all right? Rght.
This is Lewis Carroll's mirror.
Alice in Wonderland.
"Off with their heads.
" That's chick lit, right? Chick lit? Right.
Come on.
Not everything in here is dangerous.
You got that cuddly little ferret from a cooking pot.
Yeah, he peed in my shoes.
That's that was me.
That's funny.
So what, are you still mad at Artie? No.
No, I'm not.
I'm not mad at Artie.
I'm mad at you.
No, you're not mad at me.
Yes, I am.
You're not mad at me.
You're not mad at me.
Because when you're mad at me, your neck gets all long until it looks like that.
It's like a giraffe over here.
And then when you're mad at Artie, your neck gets down over here to the right.
Yes! Just like that.
Look, I know the Macpherson-D.
C.
thing is still bugging you, okay? But everybody has a past.
But he lied, Pete.
Artie's past is more treasonous, hazardous, and, hey, there's a crazy man who wants us dead and he wants the warehouse all for himself.
Would have been nice knowing that going in, Pete.
Artie should have told us about Macpherson Don't you think? Yes, yes, I get it.
Daddy issues.
Can't deal with the old man.
You know what? You're useless.
Oh, my God! The mirror! I got it.
Watch out.
Studio 54 disco ball.
Sick.
That's? That sounds like the Studio 54 disco ball Oh, God, I hate disco.
Myka! Myka, you okay? Hey! What's going on? Myka, you okay? What's going on? Huh? Ask him.
You can't Warehouse 13 ½à ¹©Ã§Ã° ½ûùÃÃÃÃÃúÃÃÃõïÃûÃÃê What? Artie's past, Macpherson It can be a bit disorienting.
I know.
I feel pretty clear actually.
Things are the way they are.
Don't fight it.
Just go with it.
Whenever I don't, I always end up right back in the same place.
Not a good one.
Thank you for the tea.
You're welcome.
Hey.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm doing it.
I'm doing it.
They're excellent, yes.
I don't know what So, uh, today's where is ? Pete, in the room, please! You do something different with your hair? Would you help me with this bag? Just open it up, take everything Dude, dude, take your meds.
I want a turn, bro.
Pete, sit.
You saved at least? I saved.
Thank you.
Focus, focus! W-w-w-w-w-wait, what are you doing? Focusing.
No, no, no, no.
You don't.
We're gonna, we, you All right, never mind, fine.
All right, just try try pay attention I think I've got a case for you.
Gary and Jillian Witman, take one each aka more aliases than they would care to mention.
They are small-time thieves who have inexplicably hit the big-time.
I smell artifact.
I smell a loser.
Um, uh, no Claudia.
Come on.
Claudia! Let's let Artie get through this so we can just not be here any longer than necessary, all right? Thank you very much, Myka .
Much appreciated.
You're welcome.
So what is this, um what is this artifact? No, no, it's unconfirmed.
But if there is one, it's given these two an unbelievable amount of luck.
The kind of define of luck is the probablility of they went straight from Miami to Troy and Atlantic city and they've not not one single gaming commission alarm bell has been tripped.
Well, how? How,well, they go into a gaming room as high rollers.
Anybody? Okay.
And, um, they're really good.
And they win just enough money to stay under the radar, right? And then they get Fine.
Then they move on and they don't get caught.
Okay, so they're taking a little back from the house.
O-M-G what's b-f-b? What? Iniquitous hands with the means to exploit fate.
"Iniquitous" means "bad.
" Thanks, Roget.
So where are they now? Three hours ago, they checked into room 1510 at the Maximus hotel in Las Vegas.
So I've also prepared a rundown,this is yours of possible artifacts that are still in the wild that might be responsible.
And there's also plane tickets and reservations for the Maximus and all that stuff.
Oh, Vegas, baby.
Kicking it.
Where's the money? Well, we need to roll high.
Yeah, there's $10,000 in Pete's envelope.
Oh, snap! Doubt it.
Do you,are you sure this Get out.
Get out.
Pack.
Boys.
Hey, hey.
Do me a favor.
Yes, yes, yes, my liege.
I shall bring you receipts.
Yeah, that too, but also, one more thing.
Is she mad at me? No.
Okay.
Yes.
Maybe.
A little.
But look, a trip to Vegas will un-bunch the pants.
You know, it should be fun.
No, no, no, no, no.
Please don't have fun.
Yeah, or crap out.
That's so funny.
Later.
So what am I doing? What do you mean what are you doing? Well, Leena told me Mrs.
"F" was keeping you off the Macpherson trail, so it doesn't mean I can't look for him.
I'm only gonna say this once.
Are you listening? Yeah.
Back off! The man will kill you.
Kill you.
Understood? Yeah.
Yes, Sir.
Las Vegas Hello.
How are you? All right.
Va-va-voom.
Your tie is crooked.
Well, you just knocked everything crooked.
How are my teeth? Your teeth are fine.
Perfume? Mm-hmm.
That's a first.
So I've been going over the possibles.
And I've been sniffing ten grand.
Nothing in Artie's hit list suggests a multi-part object, which means we're looking for one thing and it should be in their possession.
Why? It's Carson's rule of linear transfer.
Gesundheit.
It means they have to have it on them.
Forced outcomes require tangency.
Someone's been paying attention.
Some of us longer than others.
Okay, well, Let's assume that it is a single artifact shared by two suspects.
Well, we each take one and we compare notes.
Okay.
I'll take lady luck.
You take her date.
Oh, and I got these.
What is it? I cleaned 'em with alcohol, all right? So and a little bit of spit.
Kidding.
Testing.
Sorry.
Oh, you have the Tesla, right? Yes.
I'll trade you for the Farnsworth.
But you have the gun.
I know, but it's the boring one.
Well, you lost the toss.
I know.
Let's just go find this artifact and see if we can't change somebody's luck.
Okay, that thing is so freaky.
What, this? yeah.
No, the thing behind you.
yeah, that.
Well, trapped desires refracted by light, sound, sex mind-altering drugs into a disco ball.
Disco ball.
A disco ball.
I know.
I know.
Dude, how? Well, unknown, unknown.
But, I mean, mirrors are usually just gonna reflect light, but this thing projects yearnings and cravings.
You know what this thing does? It imparts a grim stampeding inhumanity against anything decent.
You asked.
Don't worry.
No, not in here.
In here it's just a round, shiny object.
But out there.
It's the '80s.
It'sthe '70s.
By the way, I'm sorry I came down on you a little hard at Leena's.
You know, it's whatever.
It's just 'cause I owe you, you know, for helping me and saving Joshua.
I mean, the guy hurt you, you know? It pisses me off.
Yeah, yeah.
If finding Macpherson Okay, okay.
Just help me lift this thing, would you, on three.
Well, can Mrs.
Frederic find him? I don't know.
On three.
One, two, three.
Well, the guy used to work here though, right? And, what, the place drove him nuts? Something lured him to the dark side? He is the dark side and things are lured to him, people especially, which is why you're never gonna mention his name ever again.
Just to you.
To anyone, promise me.
Yes! Is that Myka? Whatever it is It's not good.
Artie! Red five.
You're pushing our luck.
Yeah, and it's pushing right back.
Take a break.
I'm okay.
We've got enough, okay? Nobody's legs are getting broken.
Everybody's paid off.
Well, college for five kids won't be cheap.
We're having three.
And that won't matter if you're not around for honey moon.
Oh, I'll be around.
It's gonna be the best years of our lives.
Just five more spins.
Three.
Okay, we've found them.
You see anything? Besides two scoundrels in love? No, but they might have something off-site.
All right, I'm gonna go toss their room.
Call me if you see them chewing on a rabbit's foot or adjusting a magic girdle.
Red 23.
Careful! Stop yelling! Start listening! I'm so running over your toes.
All right, just get it straight.
Not like that! Okay! Could you close the door behind you? Got it.
All right, you know what? Pull all the Dodgson files, would you? And pull anything that's got a listed cross-reference, like Alice Liddell, Lewis Carroll.
What are you still standing here for? So go pull files.
I'm not your girl Friday.
Go and What kept you? Three pumpkin pies and a broken oven thermostat that you keep promising to fix.
What's this? Well, this is why I called you.
Artie, what happened? Yeah, optical divagation, I think.
What? Kind of like a retinal flare after a photo flash.
My best guess is the blast from the disco ball, it kind of fritzed this mirror's primary reflective capacity and then it probably clipped part of Myka's psyche and fused it in there.
You know, it's kind of like shadows on a wall after Hiroshima.
It's a pretty lively shadow.
Yes, but is it? Is it what? Alive.
Help! You want to? Sure.
Uh, what's that about? I'm gonna pull her back if she falls in.
Get your mind out of the Oh, hell.
Okay.
Thanks.
So? Nothing.
So what is it? Just a shadow play? Well, the glass is like a barrier.
If that's alive, I can't tell.
Let's just ask her.
"It.
" "It, it" might have something to tell us.
I mean, why can't we just talk to her? Because we do not converse with reflective entities, okay? Because? Because two words.
"Bloody Mary.
" That's just an urban legend though, right? Of course it isn't.
Shadows have power and you let this thing speak and there is no telling what could happen.
Pete was playing ping-pong with one of those things.
Weren't you supposed to go pull files or something? Thank you.
Okay, and oh! And pull anything from Studio 54.
Got it.
Heard you.
Can I make a suggestion? Ah! sure.
I haven't lost a penny, mom.
Myka with you? No, she's downstairs on the Whitmans.
I'm getting ready to search their room.
What's up? How's your radar? You mean am I having a vibe or something? Yeah.
Give it a second.
Anything out of the ordinary? Anything at all.
With Myka? With anything.
You know, now that you mention it, there is something.
What? The buffet is overpriced.
Yeah, other than that? Nope.
No vibe.
No trouble.
It's all good.
All right.
Yeah, okay.
Are you sure? Artie is there something I should know? No, no, no, no.
Everything's good.
It's just a status check.
Don't dawdle, stay in touch, goodbye.
Kirk out.
He's fine.
So is Myka.
Okay? Okay.
Myka.
Yes? I got nothing.
Yeah, nothing's going on down here either.
They're still winning and I'll be damned If I know how Yeah, I know.
I am.
I am.
I just think that that's What if maybe if you put those two together I don't think that's gonna work.
What about what we tried in What is that? Just something I whipped up.
What do you mean? Just now? Yeah, that's right.
W-w-w-w-wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing? Opening a line of communication.
CIA uses laser mics to read vibrations off windows to hear what's going on on the other side of the window, right? Yeah.
I want to hear what she has to say.
Bloody Mary, shadows have power, I get it.
But what if that's not just a shadow, Artie? Artie, that look on her face is somebody who's trapped.
Believe me, I know that look and so do you.
If things get hinky, you can pull the plug.
What do you got to lose, okay? I do need to do this.
I just Wait, wait, wait, wait! Let me think! Myka.
Myka, where are So Mr.
Whitman doesn't look good.
No sign of any artifact.
Not even a glimmer.
What's up with his hand? I don't know.
Look, if you want to get some rest, I'll stay with them.
Not if they split up.
If they do, I'll call you.
No, no.
Let's let's stay together.
If they've got something, It's on 'em.
I want to know what it is.
I've been burned by this before.
They look real and they'll say anything.
Say something.
Artie, when I get out of here, I'm hugging her and I'm kicking your ass.
Yeah, well, that won't be happening.
Artie.
Artie, It's me.
No, no.
You're just a reflection.
The real Myka's in Las Vegas on a mission with Pete.
What? No, no, I'm not! Artie! See? That's exactly what I mean.
You just don't do it.
Turn that thing off.
Artie, if I'm in Vegas with Pete, then how can I be here? Just No! Just don't turn it off! Artie! No! Artie! Whatever that thing is, it's never getting out of here.
Lewis Carroll's Alice.
You're so sweet, so innocent, so not true.
This woman was as mad as a Hatter.
And Charles Dodgson, aka Lewis Carroll, was not writing books.
He was chronicling this young woman's descent into a sociopathic madness in all of his books.
He didn't write these books.
These are warehouse fabrications, brilliant fabrications to hide the truth about that mirror.
Here's a report from warehouse field agents.
Yeah.
The mirror crossed paths with Alice Liddell.
I bet it crossed paths.
When? Well, right before the murders.
That's terrifying.
Yeah, and there's no mention of where the mirror came from.
Okay, well, where do any of these things come from? Artie, these agents, they trapped her inside of the mirror.
Yeah.
Somehow her energy, her essence even they weren't sure how it happened.
Wouldn't it have been nice, Leena, if these warehouse field agents had bothered to figure it out before she killed one of them? Lot of loose ends here, okay? So I'm not hey! That is why, Claudia, taking inventory is so important! So what are we saying? What are we saying? Are we saying that just Myka's image got melded with the crazy essence of Alice? Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.
Looks like Myka.
Isn't Myka.
And if we give voice to that thing, it'll trick us somehow to try to get out and that is not gonna happen.
We've done enough.
We promised each other we'd stop at $5 million.
I'm a lying, convicted thief, Gary.
I'm breaking the promise.
No, we're so close.
We're just a few thousand away.
It won't make any difference.
You need to see a doctor.
We don't have any insurance.
Please.
We'll be paying out of pocket.
I won't go unless we offset what that'll cost with an hour's worth of betting.
Listen to yourself.
You listen.
My hand can rot off.
I'm not going to any doctor.
We should take it now.
Take what? Whatever it is they've got.
You know, force them to hand it over.
Well, we're not even sure if One more round of betting and then I'm cashing us out.
Okay.
You're the boss.
I was just trying to keep her distracted.
We're clear.
I want him.
Sorry? You follow the girl.
I'll stay here and I'll call you if he comes out.
Are you sure? Yeah, I can handle him if there's trouble.
All right.
Okay.
I'll, uh I'll call you if I catch anything.
Do that.
Artie, I know you're not as sure about this as you're pretending.
I am not pretending.
You know when you hold a mirror up to a second mirror and you get that sort of reflected infinity thing? Well, what happens if that mirror is reflected and it's something like the studio 54 disco ball? Is it possible to get some kind of artifact interaction? Something completely unexpected? I don't know.
What if the disco ball goes off and someone is standing in front of the Alice's mirror? Well, I think we know what happens.
Do we really? Could reflections switch places? Could people? She pulls to the right.
Pardon? It's something I noticed a couple months ago.
When Myka's mad at me, she pulls to the right.
She's mad at you now.
Has been for about a week.
So is she pulling to the right? Red 23! Excuse me, miss.
Hi.
Uh, you dropped this.
Keep it.
Maybe you'll get lucky.
That's what I'm hoping.
Red 21! Holy bananas.
Okay.
Okay.
You're really mad at me.
I feel sorry for you, actually.
Oh, why is that? Because of all the things right in front of your face that you simply refuse to see.
Like what? Like me.
Oh, well.
Yeah, well, I need to ask you a question that only the real Myka would know the answer to.
You know what? You're wasting time, Artie, cause Pete's in danger.
Yeah, well, so are you, right? In danger if you're really who you say you are.
Okay.
Okay, fine.
Here's what you and I both know but we never talk about it.
All right? That I don't trust you.
That I need you to tell me the truth and to not treat me like some chess piece that you move around on a board that only you can see.
That I am valuable.
That I matter.
And that I deserve to know everything I can about this world that you send me into every day so at least I have a fighting chance.
You know, in spite of everything in spite of everything, I like you.
I think you're great.
And I want you to think the same of me.
I screwed up.
Honey, my key's not working.
Where's him? Uh, him's not here.
What were you looking for? My room.
Who are you? You're cute.
You're faking it.
Never con a con artist.
You had your chance to walk away.
You won't get another.
Uh, Pete with you? No, listen.
I'm a bit busy.
Can I call you back? Yeah, no, sure.
Everything okay? It will be as soon as I can get back to work.
Oh, okay, yeah.
Oh, I got some bad news.
Leena tells me that your ferret escaped and she's been trying to call for it.
She doesn't know its name.
I don't even know if you finally did name that thing, did you? No.
No, actually, I never did.
Just put some food out and it'll come back.
I got to go.
Now where were we? Myka did name the ferret.
She's just not telling Pete the name.
Why not? Cause she named it Pete.
Yeah, it's cute, but so annoying.
Oh, that's good.
I like that.
You think that's funny, huh? Because if she thinks we know, she'll kill him.
Jillian, hi.
Name's Pete.
Look, you're in trouble and I'm here to help.
That chip that you have, the one that's changed your luck Let go or I'll scream.
Jillian, it's hurting you.
That is a contact wound.
Wishing objects do that.
This one seems to be a bit addictive and we both know that that's bad, right? So you keep the money, but you give me the chip.
No.
Gary's sick too, isn't he? You got to stop while you're ahead, Jillian.
Trust me.
Don't make me use this.
The Jubilee grand, right? The fire? What are you gonna do with it? I am gonna put this on a shelf and ignore it forever.
I know.
Now watch.
Watch what? That chip allows you to see the future.
Yeah, I can see the attraction.
You have to tell me what's going on, Artie.
Well, he may have figured it out already.
Seriously? I mean, it's Pete we're talking about.
I can't get ahold of him.
His cell keeps going to voice mail.
Alice has obviously got the Farnsworth.
Dude, he's in a big hotel.
There was this man at the bar one night bragging about how he miraculously survived the inferno.
He said that this chip saved his life.
And you stole it? It's what we do.
Pete Lattimer, white courtesy telephone.
Jillian, take the money and run, don't walk.
Find a beach.
Never look back.
I am gonna go get your husband.
Wait, hold on.
You're not arresting us? You're letting us go? What happened in Vegas, ok? Just get out of here.
It looks like you were telling the truth.
Don't hurt Jillian.
Oh, Gary.
Do you know what? Hurting is half the fun.
You want to know what's more fun? The other half.
Who are you? You've had your wishes, Gary.
Now is my turn.
And now I'll know when they're coming for me.
And if I can see them, I can kill them.
I bet you didn't see that coming.
Are you okay? I'm fine.
I had to use the tesla.
He's dead.
You killed him.
Pete, what's going on? Change of plans.
Pete? What do you think, I'm an idiot? Don't answer that.
Look, just stop, okay? Just put down the gun and let's think this through.
Oh, okay.
Uh, guess what.
I'm still taking the artifact.
I can't let you do that, Pete.
Die trying to stop me, Alice.
Oh, clever boy.
What tipped you? The real Myka would never kiss me.
Never! Not if her life depended on it.
Which is A shame.
You're a good kisser.
So Artie hasn't figured this out yet? Well, not yet.
But when he does, he'll set the real Myka free, and you will poof disappear.
It doesn't work that way, Pete.
Meaning what? Meaning nothing comes out of the mirror unless something goes back in.
Really? And I am done with that.
Oh, well, I beg to freaking differ.
Freak.
I suppose I should have destroyed that mirror when I had the chance.
Turn around.
This is on you.
You're the one who set me free.
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm fixing that right now.
Turn around.
Oh, my I am never going back into that mirror.
Do you hear me? Never.
And this.
This is my ace.
That's it.
Cash me out.
Curiouser and curiouser.
Pete! Artie, now! Hey, Pete, help me.
Artie, where is Myka? Thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome.
All right.
Okay, here, let's get this.
So what now? Now now we move Alice to the Dark Vault.
What's the Dark Vault? Well, it's better than the "Oy Gevalt.
" Yeah, no, the Dark Vault.
You've never seen the Dark Vault.
Yeah, I'm gonna hazard a guess here you're never gonna want to see the dark vault after we move that to there.
Okay, you get the no, you know what? Let's do this tomorrow.
Okay? You know, we better secure it.
You know, let's move that trunk.
When I say "let's," I mean you.
Little known but apropos fact, by the way, Steven Rubell, who was one of the co-founders of studio 54, he considered calling his club Wonderland.
Oh, my God! Other side.
Hey, lady! Okay, let's go.
Hey,ey, my ten grand? Right,about that.
Well, Artie,you know, last-minute Apache helicopter rides to the middle of nowhere, South Dakota, don't come cheap.
Okay, I know a guy with a Chinook.
Would have cost you about half if you would have called me! Well, I had to beat Alice, didn't I? What's going on, did it work? Did it work? Look who's here.
Oh my God.
Come on.
Alice uh Myka, she said I was a good kisser.
What?
I'm right.
Yes, I'm afraid you are.
And he now has a sword which renders him invisible.
Now it's up to you to stop him.
You always hurt the one you love.
Artie? No, no, no, no! Okay, just stop.
Okay, stop and think this through.
Uh guess what.
I'm still taking the artifact.
I can't let you do that, Pete.
Turn around.
No.
Macpherson is alive and loose somewhere in the world.
Stopping Macpherson is not your job! My what? Protecting the world happens to be my job! And right now that is being threatened by an insane ex-warehouse agent who is competing for artifacts that belong right out there.
Mrs.
Frederic said that she will handle it.
I can do it.
Artie, he ran a sword through your chest.
I'm all right.
You could have died.
Please just let Mrs.
Frederic handle it, okay? This? This is your job, Artie.
And you're not doing it.
You have Pete, Myka, and Claudia spread out through the warehouse taking inventory for you day after day.
Meanwhile, all Meanwhile, these things are piling up.
Yes, they are.
I'm pretty hard to kill.
Pete? Really? Really? You want some of that? Pete? Ooh, nice one.
Did not see that coming.
Playing with yourself again? One game.
A quickie.
We got time.
Besides, none of this stuff's going anywhere.
Right, buddy? Okay, this stuff is dangerous, all right? Rght.
This is Lewis Carroll's mirror.
Alice in Wonderland.
"Off with their heads.
" That's chick lit, right? Chick lit? Right.
Come on.
Not everything in here is dangerous.
You got that cuddly little ferret from a cooking pot.
Yeah, he peed in my shoes.
That's that was me.
That's funny.
So what, are you still mad at Artie? No.
No, I'm not.
I'm not mad at Artie.
I'm mad at you.
No, you're not mad at me.
Yes, I am.
You're not mad at me.
You're not mad at me.
Because when you're mad at me, your neck gets all long until it looks like that.
It's like a giraffe over here.
And then when you're mad at Artie, your neck gets down over here to the right.
Yes! Just like that.
Look, I know the Macpherson-D.
C.
thing is still bugging you, okay? But everybody has a past.
But he lied, Pete.
Artie's past is more treasonous, hazardous, and, hey, there's a crazy man who wants us dead and he wants the warehouse all for himself.
Would have been nice knowing that going in, Pete.
Artie should have told us about Macpherson Don't you think? Yes, yes, I get it.
Daddy issues.
Can't deal with the old man.
You know what? You're useless.
Oh, my God! The mirror! I got it.
Watch out.
Studio 54 disco ball.
Sick.
That's? That sounds like the Studio 54 disco ball Oh, God, I hate disco.
Myka! Myka, you okay? Hey! What's going on? Myka, you okay? What's going on? Huh? Ask him.
You can't Warehouse 13 ½à ¹©Ã§Ã° ½ûùÃÃÃÃÃúÃÃÃõïÃûÃÃê What? Artie's past, Macpherson It can be a bit disorienting.
I know.
I feel pretty clear actually.
Things are the way they are.
Don't fight it.
Just go with it.
Whenever I don't, I always end up right back in the same place.
Not a good one.
Thank you for the tea.
You're welcome.
Hey.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm doing it.
I'm doing it.
They're excellent, yes.
I don't know what So, uh, today's where is ? Pete, in the room, please! You do something different with your hair? Would you help me with this bag? Just open it up, take everything Dude, dude, take your meds.
I want a turn, bro.
Pete, sit.
You saved at least? I saved.
Thank you.
Focus, focus! W-w-w-w-w-wait, what are you doing? Focusing.
No, no, no, no.
You don't.
We're gonna, we, you All right, never mind, fine.
All right, just try try pay attention I think I've got a case for you.
Gary and Jillian Witman, take one each aka more aliases than they would care to mention.
They are small-time thieves who have inexplicably hit the big-time.
I smell artifact.
I smell a loser.
Um, uh, no Claudia.
Come on.
Claudia! Let's let Artie get through this so we can just not be here any longer than necessary, all right? Thank you very much, Myka .
Much appreciated.
You're welcome.
So what is this, um what is this artifact? No, no, it's unconfirmed.
But if there is one, it's given these two an unbelievable amount of luck.
The kind of define of luck is the probablility of they went straight from Miami to Troy and Atlantic city and they've not not one single gaming commission alarm bell has been tripped.
Well, how? How,well, they go into a gaming room as high rollers.
Anybody? Okay.
And, um, they're really good.
And they win just enough money to stay under the radar, right? And then they get Fine.
Then they move on and they don't get caught.
Okay, so they're taking a little back from the house.
O-M-G what's b-f-b? What? Iniquitous hands with the means to exploit fate.
"Iniquitous" means "bad.
" Thanks, Roget.
So where are they now? Three hours ago, they checked into room 1510 at the Maximus hotel in Las Vegas.
So I've also prepared a rundown,this is yours of possible artifacts that are still in the wild that might be responsible.
And there's also plane tickets and reservations for the Maximus and all that stuff.
Oh, Vegas, baby.
Kicking it.
Where's the money? Well, we need to roll high.
Yeah, there's $10,000 in Pete's envelope.
Oh, snap! Doubt it.
Do you,are you sure this Get out.
Get out.
Pack.
Boys.
Hey, hey.
Do me a favor.
Yes, yes, yes, my liege.
I shall bring you receipts.
Yeah, that too, but also, one more thing.
Is she mad at me? No.
Okay.
Yes.
Maybe.
A little.
But look, a trip to Vegas will un-bunch the pants.
You know, it should be fun.
No, no, no, no, no.
Please don't have fun.
Yeah, or crap out.
That's so funny.
Later.
So what am I doing? What do you mean what are you doing? Well, Leena told me Mrs.
"F" was keeping you off the Macpherson trail, so it doesn't mean I can't look for him.
I'm only gonna say this once.
Are you listening? Yeah.
Back off! The man will kill you.
Kill you.
Understood? Yeah.
Yes, Sir.
Las Vegas Hello.
How are you? All right.
Va-va-voom.
Your tie is crooked.
Well, you just knocked everything crooked.
How are my teeth? Your teeth are fine.
Perfume? Mm-hmm.
That's a first.
So I've been going over the possibles.
And I've been sniffing ten grand.
Nothing in Artie's hit list suggests a multi-part object, which means we're looking for one thing and it should be in their possession.
Why? It's Carson's rule of linear transfer.
Gesundheit.
It means they have to have it on them.
Forced outcomes require tangency.
Someone's been paying attention.
Some of us longer than others.
Okay, well, Let's assume that it is a single artifact shared by two suspects.
Well, we each take one and we compare notes.
Okay.
I'll take lady luck.
You take her date.
Oh, and I got these.
What is it? I cleaned 'em with alcohol, all right? So and a little bit of spit.
Kidding.
Testing.
Sorry.
Oh, you have the Tesla, right? Yes.
I'll trade you for the Farnsworth.
But you have the gun.
I know, but it's the boring one.
Well, you lost the toss.
I know.
Let's just go find this artifact and see if we can't change somebody's luck.
Okay, that thing is so freaky.
What, this? yeah.
No, the thing behind you.
yeah, that.
Well, trapped desires refracted by light, sound, sex mind-altering drugs into a disco ball.
Disco ball.
A disco ball.
I know.
I know.
Dude, how? Well, unknown, unknown.
But, I mean, mirrors are usually just gonna reflect light, but this thing projects yearnings and cravings.
You know what this thing does? It imparts a grim stampeding inhumanity against anything decent.
You asked.
Don't worry.
No, not in here.
In here it's just a round, shiny object.
But out there.
It's the '80s.
It'sthe '70s.
By the way, I'm sorry I came down on you a little hard at Leena's.
You know, it's whatever.
It's just 'cause I owe you, you know, for helping me and saving Joshua.
I mean, the guy hurt you, you know? It pisses me off.
Yeah, yeah.
If finding Macpherson Okay, okay.
Just help me lift this thing, would you, on three.
Well, can Mrs.
Frederic find him? I don't know.
On three.
One, two, three.
Well, the guy used to work here though, right? And, what, the place drove him nuts? Something lured him to the dark side? He is the dark side and things are lured to him, people especially, which is why you're never gonna mention his name ever again.
Just to you.
To anyone, promise me.
Yes! Is that Myka? Whatever it is It's not good.
Artie! Red five.
You're pushing our luck.
Yeah, and it's pushing right back.
Take a break.
I'm okay.
We've got enough, okay? Nobody's legs are getting broken.
Everybody's paid off.
Well, college for five kids won't be cheap.
We're having three.
And that won't matter if you're not around for honey moon.
Oh, I'll be around.
It's gonna be the best years of our lives.
Just five more spins.
Three.
Okay, we've found them.
You see anything? Besides two scoundrels in love? No, but they might have something off-site.
All right, I'm gonna go toss their room.
Call me if you see them chewing on a rabbit's foot or adjusting a magic girdle.
Red 23.
Careful! Stop yelling! Start listening! I'm so running over your toes.
All right, just get it straight.
Not like that! Okay! Could you close the door behind you? Got it.
All right, you know what? Pull all the Dodgson files, would you? And pull anything that's got a listed cross-reference, like Alice Liddell, Lewis Carroll.
What are you still standing here for? So go pull files.
I'm not your girl Friday.
Go and What kept you? Three pumpkin pies and a broken oven thermostat that you keep promising to fix.
What's this? Well, this is why I called you.
Artie, what happened? Yeah, optical divagation, I think.
What? Kind of like a retinal flare after a photo flash.
My best guess is the blast from the disco ball, it kind of fritzed this mirror's primary reflective capacity and then it probably clipped part of Myka's psyche and fused it in there.
You know, it's kind of like shadows on a wall after Hiroshima.
It's a pretty lively shadow.
Yes, but is it? Is it what? Alive.
Help! You want to? Sure.
Uh, what's that about? I'm gonna pull her back if she falls in.
Get your mind out of the Oh, hell.
Okay.
Thanks.
So? Nothing.
So what is it? Just a shadow play? Well, the glass is like a barrier.
If that's alive, I can't tell.
Let's just ask her.
"It.
" "It, it" might have something to tell us.
I mean, why can't we just talk to her? Because we do not converse with reflective entities, okay? Because? Because two words.
"Bloody Mary.
" That's just an urban legend though, right? Of course it isn't.
Shadows have power and you let this thing speak and there is no telling what could happen.
Pete was playing ping-pong with one of those things.
Weren't you supposed to go pull files or something? Thank you.
Okay, and oh! And pull anything from Studio 54.
Got it.
Heard you.
Can I make a suggestion? Ah! sure.
I haven't lost a penny, mom.
Myka with you? No, she's downstairs on the Whitmans.
I'm getting ready to search their room.
What's up? How's your radar? You mean am I having a vibe or something? Yeah.
Give it a second.
Anything out of the ordinary? Anything at all.
With Myka? With anything.
You know, now that you mention it, there is something.
What? The buffet is overpriced.
Yeah, other than that? Nope.
No vibe.
No trouble.
It's all good.
All right.
Yeah, okay.
Are you sure? Artie is there something I should know? No, no, no, no.
Everything's good.
It's just a status check.
Don't dawdle, stay in touch, goodbye.
Kirk out.
He's fine.
So is Myka.
Okay? Okay.
Myka.
Yes? I got nothing.
Yeah, nothing's going on down here either.
They're still winning and I'll be damned If I know how Yeah, I know.
I am.
I am.
I just think that that's What if maybe if you put those two together I don't think that's gonna work.
What about what we tried in What is that? Just something I whipped up.
What do you mean? Just now? Yeah, that's right.
W-w-w-w-wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing? Opening a line of communication.
CIA uses laser mics to read vibrations off windows to hear what's going on on the other side of the window, right? Yeah.
I want to hear what she has to say.
Bloody Mary, shadows have power, I get it.
But what if that's not just a shadow, Artie? Artie, that look on her face is somebody who's trapped.
Believe me, I know that look and so do you.
If things get hinky, you can pull the plug.
What do you got to lose, okay? I do need to do this.
I just Wait, wait, wait, wait! Let me think! Myka.
Myka, where are So Mr.
Whitman doesn't look good.
No sign of any artifact.
Not even a glimmer.
What's up with his hand? I don't know.
Look, if you want to get some rest, I'll stay with them.
Not if they split up.
If they do, I'll call you.
No, no.
Let's let's stay together.
If they've got something, It's on 'em.
I want to know what it is.
I've been burned by this before.
They look real and they'll say anything.
Say something.
Artie, when I get out of here, I'm hugging her and I'm kicking your ass.
Yeah, well, that won't be happening.
Artie.
Artie, It's me.
No, no.
You're just a reflection.
The real Myka's in Las Vegas on a mission with Pete.
What? No, no, I'm not! Artie! See? That's exactly what I mean.
You just don't do it.
Turn that thing off.
Artie, if I'm in Vegas with Pete, then how can I be here? Just No! Just don't turn it off! Artie! No! Artie! Whatever that thing is, it's never getting out of here.
Lewis Carroll's Alice.
You're so sweet, so innocent, so not true.
This woman was as mad as a Hatter.
And Charles Dodgson, aka Lewis Carroll, was not writing books.
He was chronicling this young woman's descent into a sociopathic madness in all of his books.
He didn't write these books.
These are warehouse fabrications, brilliant fabrications to hide the truth about that mirror.
Here's a report from warehouse field agents.
Yeah.
The mirror crossed paths with Alice Liddell.
I bet it crossed paths.
When? Well, right before the murders.
That's terrifying.
Yeah, and there's no mention of where the mirror came from.
Okay, well, where do any of these things come from? Artie, these agents, they trapped her inside of the mirror.
Yeah.
Somehow her energy, her essence even they weren't sure how it happened.
Wouldn't it have been nice, Leena, if these warehouse field agents had bothered to figure it out before she killed one of them? Lot of loose ends here, okay? So I'm not hey! That is why, Claudia, taking inventory is so important! So what are we saying? What are we saying? Are we saying that just Myka's image got melded with the crazy essence of Alice? Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.
Looks like Myka.
Isn't Myka.
And if we give voice to that thing, it'll trick us somehow to try to get out and that is not gonna happen.
We've done enough.
We promised each other we'd stop at $5 million.
I'm a lying, convicted thief, Gary.
I'm breaking the promise.
No, we're so close.
We're just a few thousand away.
It won't make any difference.
You need to see a doctor.
We don't have any insurance.
Please.
We'll be paying out of pocket.
I won't go unless we offset what that'll cost with an hour's worth of betting.
Listen to yourself.
You listen.
My hand can rot off.
I'm not going to any doctor.
We should take it now.
Take what? Whatever it is they've got.
You know, force them to hand it over.
Well, we're not even sure if One more round of betting and then I'm cashing us out.
Okay.
You're the boss.
I was just trying to keep her distracted.
We're clear.
I want him.
Sorry? You follow the girl.
I'll stay here and I'll call you if he comes out.
Are you sure? Yeah, I can handle him if there's trouble.
All right.
Okay.
I'll, uh I'll call you if I catch anything.
Do that.
Artie, I know you're not as sure about this as you're pretending.
I am not pretending.
You know when you hold a mirror up to a second mirror and you get that sort of reflected infinity thing? Well, what happens if that mirror is reflected and it's something like the studio 54 disco ball? Is it possible to get some kind of artifact interaction? Something completely unexpected? I don't know.
What if the disco ball goes off and someone is standing in front of the Alice's mirror? Well, I think we know what happens.
Do we really? Could reflections switch places? Could people? She pulls to the right.
Pardon? It's something I noticed a couple months ago.
When Myka's mad at me, she pulls to the right.
She's mad at you now.
Has been for about a week.
So is she pulling to the right? Red 23! Excuse me, miss.
Hi.
Uh, you dropped this.
Keep it.
Maybe you'll get lucky.
That's what I'm hoping.
Red 21! Holy bananas.
Okay.
Okay.
You're really mad at me.
I feel sorry for you, actually.
Oh, why is that? Because of all the things right in front of your face that you simply refuse to see.
Like what? Like me.
Oh, well.
Yeah, well, I need to ask you a question that only the real Myka would know the answer to.
You know what? You're wasting time, Artie, cause Pete's in danger.
Yeah, well, so are you, right? In danger if you're really who you say you are.
Okay.
Okay, fine.
Here's what you and I both know but we never talk about it.
All right? That I don't trust you.
That I need you to tell me the truth and to not treat me like some chess piece that you move around on a board that only you can see.
That I am valuable.
That I matter.
And that I deserve to know everything I can about this world that you send me into every day so at least I have a fighting chance.
You know, in spite of everything in spite of everything, I like you.
I think you're great.
And I want you to think the same of me.
I screwed up.
Honey, my key's not working.
Where's him? Uh, him's not here.
What were you looking for? My room.
Who are you? You're cute.
You're faking it.
Never con a con artist.
You had your chance to walk away.
You won't get another.
Uh, Pete with you? No, listen.
I'm a bit busy.
Can I call you back? Yeah, no, sure.
Everything okay? It will be as soon as I can get back to work.
Oh, okay, yeah.
Oh, I got some bad news.
Leena tells me that your ferret escaped and she's been trying to call for it.
She doesn't know its name.
I don't even know if you finally did name that thing, did you? No.
No, actually, I never did.
Just put some food out and it'll come back.
I got to go.
Now where were we? Myka did name the ferret.
She's just not telling Pete the name.
Why not? Cause she named it Pete.
Yeah, it's cute, but so annoying.
Oh, that's good.
I like that.
You think that's funny, huh? Because if she thinks we know, she'll kill him.
Jillian, hi.
Name's Pete.
Look, you're in trouble and I'm here to help.
That chip that you have, the one that's changed your luck Let go or I'll scream.
Jillian, it's hurting you.
That is a contact wound.
Wishing objects do that.
This one seems to be a bit addictive and we both know that that's bad, right? So you keep the money, but you give me the chip.
No.
Gary's sick too, isn't he? You got to stop while you're ahead, Jillian.
Trust me.
Don't make me use this.
The Jubilee grand, right? The fire? What are you gonna do with it? I am gonna put this on a shelf and ignore it forever.
I know.
Now watch.
Watch what? That chip allows you to see the future.
Yeah, I can see the attraction.
You have to tell me what's going on, Artie.
Well, he may have figured it out already.
Seriously? I mean, it's Pete we're talking about.
I can't get ahold of him.
His cell keeps going to voice mail.
Alice has obviously got the Farnsworth.
Dude, he's in a big hotel.
There was this man at the bar one night bragging about how he miraculously survived the inferno.
He said that this chip saved his life.
And you stole it? It's what we do.
Pete Lattimer, white courtesy telephone.
Jillian, take the money and run, don't walk.
Find a beach.
Never look back.
I am gonna go get your husband.
Wait, hold on.
You're not arresting us? You're letting us go? What happened in Vegas, ok? Just get out of here.
It looks like you were telling the truth.
Don't hurt Jillian.
Oh, Gary.
Do you know what? Hurting is half the fun.
You want to know what's more fun? The other half.
Who are you? You've had your wishes, Gary.
Now is my turn.
And now I'll know when they're coming for me.
And if I can see them, I can kill them.
I bet you didn't see that coming.
Are you okay? I'm fine.
I had to use the tesla.
He's dead.
You killed him.
Pete, what's going on? Change of plans.
Pete? What do you think, I'm an idiot? Don't answer that.
Look, just stop, okay? Just put down the gun and let's think this through.
Oh, okay.
Uh, guess what.
I'm still taking the artifact.
I can't let you do that, Pete.
Die trying to stop me, Alice.
Oh, clever boy.
What tipped you? The real Myka would never kiss me.
Never! Not if her life depended on it.
Which is A shame.
You're a good kisser.
So Artie hasn't figured this out yet? Well, not yet.
But when he does, he'll set the real Myka free, and you will poof disappear.
It doesn't work that way, Pete.
Meaning what? Meaning nothing comes out of the mirror unless something goes back in.
Really? And I am done with that.
Oh, well, I beg to freaking differ.
Freak.
I suppose I should have destroyed that mirror when I had the chance.
Turn around.
This is on you.
You're the one who set me free.
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm fixing that right now.
Turn around.
Oh, my I am never going back into that mirror.
Do you hear me? Never.
And this.
This is my ace.
That's it.
Cash me out.
Curiouser and curiouser.
Pete! Artie, now! Hey, Pete, help me.
Artie, where is Myka? Thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome.
All right.
Okay, here, let's get this.
So what now? Now now we move Alice to the Dark Vault.
What's the Dark Vault? Well, it's better than the "Oy Gevalt.
" Yeah, no, the Dark Vault.
You've never seen the Dark Vault.
Yeah, I'm gonna hazard a guess here you're never gonna want to see the dark vault after we move that to there.
Okay, you get the no, you know what? Let's do this tomorrow.
Okay? You know, we better secure it.
You know, let's move that trunk.
When I say "let's," I mean you.
Little known but apropos fact, by the way, Steven Rubell, who was one of the co-founders of studio 54, he considered calling his club Wonderland.
Oh, my God! Other side.
Hey, lady! Okay, let's go.
Hey,ey, my ten grand? Right,about that.
Well, Artie,you know, last-minute Apache helicopter rides to the middle of nowhere, South Dakota, don't come cheap.
Okay, I know a guy with a Chinook.
Would have cost you about half if you would have called me! Well, I had to beat Alice, didn't I? What's going on, did it work? Did it work? Look who's here.
Oh my God.
Come on.
Alice uh Myka, she said I was a good kisser.
What?