Westside (2018) s01e04 Episode Script
Episode 4
1 [woman chuckling.]
[indistinct chattering.]
[Chris.]
I'm gonna teach you a game, M'lisa.
- Put your hand out.
- [Caitlin laughs.]
We're going to do this? I mean, I'm going to do this.
So, instead of vegetable oil, you use one packet of apple sauce and it makes it much more moist and flavorful.
- [Chris.]
One-third? Is that what you said? - Yep.
Oh, you need a thing, right? A spatula? [utensil clinks.]
This looks a little bit goopy.
Well, when you bake it, it hardens.
- [indistinct chatter.]
- [Caitlin chuckles.]
[man.]
Have you seen where Itsy-bitsy spider.
[bell dings.]
This is dry.
[Caitlin.]
I know! I think it was in too long.
We have had that bag of brownie mix for a while.
[chuckles.]
[Chris.]
I need more than milk to wash this out of my mouth.
- Have any scotch? - [Caitlin laughs.]
[woman.]
It might be old brownie mix.
- [man.]
What was the date on it? - [woman.]
September 22nd, 2016.
So that's why.
They're expired.
- They're, yep.
- Oh, yeah.
It tastes like death.
[both laugh.]
- Hey, guys.
Stafford? - [Stafford.]
What's up? - Good to see you again.
- [Stafford.]
Come on in.
Dance floor.
- This is where everyone wants to be.
- [Sean.]
Yeah.
So are there booths that go around the top? We line them up all against the wall, so you have downstairs, upstairs.
Ended up at 1 Oak [Sean.]
Now that the creative process is in full swing, it's got my mind racing about how this is all going to work.
What does it take to move something like this for a live show? It costs a bit of money, but it's possible.
We want to be hugely interactive, so that, you know, people are running around, singing in different spots.
Because I'm imagining this would be the main entertaining area, you know, and then you'd be able to come down and kind of interact.
Is it cool if people were standing on it? - I feel bad standing on it.
[chuckles.]
- [Stafford.]
No, it's a nightly thing.
[Sean.]
If we wanted to pack this place, what do you think is a going rate for a table we would be able to charge for a live show? - Gosh.
Cheapest table? - Yeah.
Twenty-five hundred maybe.
[Sean sighs deeply.]
[Stafford.]
You can have a VVIP experience for 10,000 all the way down there.
I mean, this is LA.
- Yeah.
- The money's here.
[Sean.]
It's also time to start planning a presentation and invite potential investors to secure finances.
There's a lot of pressure to make sure we do this right for all of us.
[beep.]
[machine powering up.]
[crowd cheering, shouting.]
[DJ.]
We're in LA, we love the motherfucking Hollywood city life, the Beverley Hills and all that shit.
I came from a small town Looking for a big life A life full of promise Turned to promises broken Won't make the headlines Same old story Soulless and lonely Because a big life is a big lie When you're barely getting by When you struggle just to survive You live with the constant hunger You feel like you're going under You're caught up inside a drama That goes on over and over Lights of the city Lights of the city Will pull you in Like a moth to a flame Lights of the city Ain't always pretty When your dreams are broken When your soul is claimed By the lights of the city I came with my big dreams Dreaming of the big time Making the big score Out in the big world The big city don't lie Life just took a left turn Sometimes you just get burned 'Cause the big life Turns to small time When you buy into the lies And you're right down To your last dime Now I'm just another hustler Trying to make a dollar Trying to stay alive But it just gets harder and harder Lights of the city Lights of the city Pull you in like a moth to a flame Lights of the city Ain't always pretty When your dreams are broken And your soul is claimed By the lights of the city Ain't no comfort In these hungry streets No! Everything's a fight Got to fight for everything No, this life Ain't what I thought it would be Hey Nah Oh, no Came from a small town Looking for a big life - Lights - Lights of the city Lights of the city - Pull you in like a moth to a flame - Moth to a flame Lights of the city Ain't always pretty When your dreams are broken When your soul is claimed Lights The lights of the city The lights, the lights, the lights Lights of the city Lights of the city Lights of the city [siren wailing.]
Sotoday we're focusing on your solo song.
[Pia.]
Okay.
And what that's going to be? Yeah.
At Capitol, you mentioned the facade of your life.
I tried to hide behind a lot of smiles and that everything was okay when everything around me was really crumbling.
I had I was given a lot of amazing opportunities, but I was also silenced a lot of times.
And I did that a lot to myself.
I didn't think I was good enough to really have my voice heard.
[Keith.]
So, I wonder if that is something that you want to re-explore.
You know, honestly, I've been struggling with the facade of my life.
Like, it's a lot to live up to.
[Pia.]
This takes like a half hour.
Sometimes it's just so nice not to have any makeup on.
I don't like my nose.
When I was on American Idol, there was this website called Vote for the Worst.
And they would make fun of me and they would say, "She looks like she's from Jersey Shore with this nose job gone bad.
" Meanwhile, I'd never, ever touched my face.
And I was so insecure about it.
And I entertained the idea of getting a nose job.
It's easy to say, "Why do you even care about those things? You don't even know these people.
" But, in reality, it hurts everybody unless you really truly just don't give a shit.
But that's not you know human.
We all give a shit.
I need this many likes on Instagram.
Otherwise, I feel like I've failed.
I did a bunch of shows over the weekend and if I didn't get, like, "You were so incredible today.
Oh, my God!" I'm going to feel like I'm not good enough.
I'm always searching for approval.
From people I don't even know.
There's really no-one I can talk to, except my best friend, Cassie.
So I like feel like I'm going to burst.
[Keith.]
Take a picture crop it.
[Pia.]
Got to make that photo pop.
[Keith.]
Because no one will play us when we're [Pia.]
Insta-famous.
[Keith.]
Safe behind - [Pia.]
Where does it go from here? - [Keith.]
Safe behind my Okay, that's right.
Safe behind Safe behind my avatar That sounds amazing.
- Thank you.
I really love this song.
- [Keith.]
Mm-hmm.
[siren wailing.]
[Arika.]
I want to have another barbecued shrimp.
- Okay.
- [Arika.]
Yes.
Let's do it.
- [Michael.]
Okay.
- Let's go.
I want the barbecued shrimp.
[Arika mumbles.]
- [Michael.]
Who else you gonna have coming? - I don't know.
[Michael.]
What about the group you're working with? You vibe with all of them? Yeah.
We all like Yeah, pretty much.
Okay.
That's very cool.
I think it'd be good for you to get to know these people better.
Yeah.
[sighs.]
You've been pretty private up until this point.
I know.
I've been private for a reason.
Because I don't know People can be pretty manipulative.
But I just feel like always staying in the mindset of the people who hurt you is just like toxic, so [Michael.]
You need to let go of this shit.
Mmm No, the fuck I'm not.
- [chuckles softly.]
- [Arika laughs.]
[Arika.]
When it comes to being social I'm really like a fly on the wall and just sit and not say nothing.
[chuckles softly.]
That shit isn't easy, man.
It isn't easy.
[Arika.]
I've been, you know, drowning in all these issues and all these emotions that I'm too scared to even really embrace.
I've kept it to myself for pretty much my entire life, so no amount of nothing I do.
No Xanax, no cigarette, no weed, no anything that's out there is going to help this feeling, you know.
No, I'm not going for no No bullshit.
[James.]
Hey, there's a hard way to love And it seems It's the only way you know Yeah, I'm tired of watching my back All the time Like you're headed for the door And the truth is not setting me free It's just making me feel like a jerk I try hard not to self-medicate But it's the only thing that works Help me feel really good Till I [James.]
I've been sober for a week now.
No drink, no drugs, no nothing.
I'm just trying to get some peace.
A lot of times when you're drinking, it's a really difficult task to do the dance of life.
But I'm I'm just really excited to be alive these days.
I pretend I feel really good Feel like I'm free, yeah Feel like I'm understood 'Cause ain't that the way Life is supposed to be - [strums guitar.]
- Woo! - [James.]
Hey.
Thank you.
[chuckles.]
- [applause.]
- [James.]
Hey, what's up? - Hey.
- How are you? - I'm good.
And you? - I cannot wait to write a song with you! - Cool.
- That was so awesome.
- [strums guitar.]
Thank you.
- [James.]
How are you doing? - Good.
What's up? Nothing.
I just wanted to come out, see this whole thing.
- This is something I wanna do.
- Do it.
- [Alexandra.]
So, yeah.
- Do it.
- [James strumming guitar.]
- Have you started your, uh, - your song for the workshop? - [James.]
No.
Me neither.
I'm trying to figure out what I want to write about.
I need to write a song.
I need a It's almost like I needed a reason.
Me too.
I needed someone to say, "You have to sit down and write a song.
" "You have to sit down and write a song.
You're not allowed to walk away.
" Right.
I think it's gonna be good to, like, not to play something I've already written.
I kinda started to toy around with an idea for a song about being scared that a relationship's not gonna work, but it wouldn't be fair to Yas.
I don't wanna write it and hurt herÃÂ feelings and make her think that that's what I think about all the time.
Especially because she and I have been having a rough go lately.
- She moved here from Argentina.
- Wow.
She changed her entire life to be here for me, soÃÂ lots of pressure on us.
Especially since I asked her to marry me and she's wearing my ring.
We're both scared it's not going to work, you know? Dude, I go through that too.
Because I dig back from past relationships and I'm afraid that Indy is gonna see them and he's gonna be like, "Do you still think about this person?" I'm like, "No, I had to find something.
" - This is just music.
- Right.
As songwriters, we have to dig up things that hurt in order to Or I do anyway.
- [James.]
Yeah.
You're a great songwriter.
- Thank you.
That means a lot.
'Cause you're a bad motherfucker.
[both laugh.]
[train chugging.]
[gate opens.]
[Caitlin.]
Here we go! [Pia.]
To me, this is like my last chance.
There's no option for this to fail.
It has to work out.
I just want this to be a fucking cool thing.
I want to go on stage and be proud, not embarrassed.
And there's no way that I'm going to let myself underachieve this.
If I fuck it up, it's because I tried really hard and I'm not good enough.
[man.]
Watch me If seeing is Then boom.
Like that kind of stuff? - Yes.
- In terms of volume.
So big? Big.
I don't want to hide.
You don't Okay.
Boom, boom.
[Pia.]
I love, love, love, love Taz, but I'm concerned about her, because I feel like her insecurities are getting the best of her.
I see so many similarities with me and her, but the one thing is The difference is work ethic.
I don't know how to help Taz because she lives her anxiety by backing away.
- I wonder though what's going on at home.
- [phone ringing.]
Here's my mom.
Geez Louise, cheddar cheese.
- Hello.
- [Denise laughs.]
Yes, Mom, I'm at rehearsal.
I I told you.
I've been telling you this since, like, Monday last week.
- [Taz's Mom.]
Where at? - [Taz.]
In Beverly Hills.
Denise is here, she could text you so you think I'm not lying.
[Pia.]
I know that if you push too hard with her, she's just gonna crack and break and then she just panics.
She doesn't know what to do, so this wall comes up.
I think she's so nervous about looking stupid.
[Pia.]
She doesn't even - Or messing up.
- [Pia.]
She doesn't even try it.
It's completely stifling her from even trying.
[Taz.]
I'll call you in a bit, okay? [Denise.]
Mom just texted me right now, it's so funny.
She's like, "Are you there withÃÂ Tiffany?" I said, "Yes, I'm here with her.
" - Mom won't ever believe me.
- [laughter.]
I'm like, "Mom, I'm in the library.
" She calls 911.
- God, Taz, stop being a rebel.
- You know, okay.
- Just go home.
- I'm not a rebel.
I always get caught with everything I do anyway.
[laughs.]
I think that she needs to break.
You either have to step up right now or you've got to go.
And it's that serious because that's been told to me in the past.
And that's the only reason why I'm stepping up now.
Please me, touch me, hold you [hums, grunts.]
[Pia.]
My grandpa was a huge Mets fan.
I became obsessed with Mike Piazza and Jay Payton - and I wanted - [Caitlin.]
Oh, my God, Mike Piazza.
[Pia.]
I had the biggest crush on him.
- It's okay.
My first love was Weird Al.
- [Pia laughs.]
And Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey was my first crush! [chuckles.]
Because I was going go be like, "Well, I'll be Caitlin Ary-Carrey.
Or Caitlin Carrey-Ary.
" - [Pia laughs.]
Caitlin Carrey-Ary.
- I'll have a split last name.
[Pia.]
I like to be with people that make me laugh.
Me too.
Every great comedian has gone through shit, because they're not funny unlessÃÂ they've lived life, and had some shit to overcome.
I don't know, I have, like That's kind of like my entire life.
Like, this fucking miscarriage bullshit and it's very complicated - You had a miscarriage with Chris? - [Caitlin.]
Yeah.
It was when me and Chris and Dan were all complicated.
- Oh, my gosh.
- [Caitlin.]
Yeah.
Were you dating him too? Um, no.
It was, like, a V situation.
Chris was dating both of us.
Chris and Dan lived together.
And then Chris was also dating me.
But then the three of us would hang out and we would talk and sometimes we'd make out, because we were doing drugs or being drunk or just being silly and trying to like Trying to be very present with love.
Were you, like, trying? Was [Caitlin.]
No, no.
I had an IUD.
So there was, like, literally a 0.
03% chance of that happening.
Wow.
And getting pregnant with an IUD is incredibly dangerous and can kill you.
[Pia.]
Did you just take it out? I don't Yeah, I had to go to the doctor and she took my IUD out and then I had to take a test to see if my hormones were going up or down.
If they were going up, it's a viable pregnancy and then I would have to actually make a decision to try and keep a child or not.
In the middle of a throuple when I'm poor.
I hid it from both of them for three weeks until I had actually miscarried.
Until the thing actually fell out of me.
[Pia.]
Caitlin.
Oh, my God, this is not happening.
[Caitlin.]
It was so fucking weird that I had to be making jokes about it immediately, like, the second it happened, because I didn't want to just cry all the time.
Yeah.
You need to write a song about it.
[Caitlin.]
I don't know.
[Caitlin.]
Chris has taught me how to laugh my way out of pain.
I think that I'm built to wallow and it's so hard for me to feel love, because all I'm feeling is make the pain stop.
Depression is like that a lot of the time.
I'm already a professional at sitting in pain anyway, so if I can remove other things, like outside sources of pain, I will.
[siren wailing.]
[car horns honking.]
[Keith plays keyboard.]
[sighs deeply.]
[Keith.]
What we're doing today - [Taz.]
Yeah.
- is, um, developing your solo song for the show.
[Taz.]
You know how you told us to do a couple of, like, - You told us to do homework kinda thing - Yes.
What have you done? Well, I didn't write full-on songs.
It's not, like, super written.
- [Taz clears throat.]
- [Keith.]
So where do we go with this song? I think, um Me now, being in this whole group and cast and stuff like this, it's making me realize, like, "Hey, you have a lot of stuff that you haven't even confronted.
" So, like, the past workshops - have been very scary for me.
[chuckles.]
- Yeah.
I never like to be honest with myself, because I [sighs.]
With my parents and I, it's always like, if you cry, you're showing a sign of weakness.
I've done many, many mistakes and I feel like, out of me and my sisters, my parents worry about me the most because I've done stupid stuff.
So what are What are specific instances of you fucking up? Me going to jail.
I went to jail for 54 days.
And, um, that's a long time.
My whole family, they would come visit me every week and, you know, I would always be tough.
Me and my dad, we don't cry in front of each other, so I don't know.
When I saw him be like [sniffs.]
I saw him walking in and I didn't want to cry and then we both started crying to each other.
So it was kind of like, "Dang, we both hold so much in," and it's like I want to just be so open to my dad and I felt like aÃÂ fuck up, because I was like, "Wow, this is the time he shows me affection.
When I'm in jail.
" [cries.]
[Taz exhales deeply.]
And like [sniffs.]
that was It's been, uh, very embarrassing for me.
That's why [inhales deeply.]
Um, that's why That's where the fuck up I feel That has, um, been holding me back with a lot of things.
Can you tell me what you were in jail for? DUIs.
Yeah.
[Taz.]
Sometimes I'd just, you know I would rather drink andÃÂ not pay attention to what's really going on.
[Lionel.]
Thank you, brother.
I'll see you, uh tomorrow probably.
[laughs.]
I know I could do better.
I know who I am.
I'm a singer.
I I am an entertainer and, like I don't know, I just was always scared to just confront that.
[Keith.]
All right.
Here, let's just stand for a second.
Will you just Will you just sing the words "do better"? - And just make up some random stuff.
- Are you going to play Do better Hold on.
Do better I'mma do better [Keith plays keyboard.]
I'mma do better [Keith.]
Good.
There's something empowering to me about hearing you say those words.
Do better I'mma do better [Taz.]
Thank you.
Um, is there anything else that I need to, like [Keith.]
Um, write as much as possible.
Okay.
Thank you.
Mwah.
[Austin.]
I'm excited for you.
How do you feel? [Alexandra.]
I feel nervous.
[Austin.]
Hey, listen, it's going to look good.
Lexi, just look at me.
It's fine, seriously.
It's totally cool.
[Alexandra.]
It's gonna be fine.
I need your hand.
[Austin.]
Very proud of you.
See? It was nothing.
[Alexandra.]
No, it really wasn't.
[Austin.]
Yeah, take a photo.
There you go.
Do it right now.
- [camera shutter clicks.]
- [tattoo machine whirring.]
You look like you're modeling in these.
You're like [Austin.]
Do I really? - [Alexandra.]
Like it's just nothing.
- [Austin.]
Um You're such a stud in these pics.
I want you to take a picture of me laughing while I'm getting this done.
- [laughs.]
- [whirring continues.]
[Austin.]
Alex.
- [laughs.]
- You know I'm going to call you Alexandra - until the day.
- Don't! - [Austin.]
Why? - I like Lexi better.
Do you like Alexandra better? You know why? It's because I used to date someone named Alexandra.
[Alexandra.]
Okay.
Everybody would call her Alex and I'd go - "Alexandra!" - [Alexandra laughs.]
[Alexandra.]
When you say it like that, you sound like my mom.
- Alexandra! - Alexandra Elizabeth, go clean your room! What's funny is you and her have the same middle name too.
- Elizabeth? Really? - Yeah.
What's your last name? - Krikorian.
- Okay.
That's why we took the K from my last name, spelled it out K-A-Y.
- [Austin.]
Yeah.
- I was like, "It's just too long.
" - Yeah.
Unless it's Kardashian, they don't You know? - [Austin.]
Yeah, yeah.
- [both laugh.]
[Alexandra.]
It's all good.
How did you think the workshop went the other night? Uh, yeah, I'm not going to lie.
I was not stoked whatsoever about it.
The feelings that I had - that were extremely critical - [Alexandra.]
Mm-hmm.
were because if my name is going to be on it, I want be awesome, you know? I just had this big idea for what I thought we could make.
[Austin.]
I have no idea what the show's going to be.
All these questions I have that are still unanswered.
And as much as these people are concerned about the quote, unquote, "fucking journey," it's not about that.
It's about us delivering something memorable.
And if all else fails, I'll take the reins.
Don't shoot Hold back your fire I'm not the one Who needs the reminder Yo, bad motherfucker Do me a favor Save your opinion for your mother A wolf that got the dough His mouth, he can't control Trying to put on a show Little do they know How bad we're about to blow Oh, oh, oh Oh Honey, don't play with fire I told you I'mma wipe your ashes Off my shoulder Yeah 'Cause everybody loves the winner Pretenders, they don't remember I'mma kill 'em with the rhythm Gotta kill 'em with it 'Cause everybody loves the winner Can't lose Kid, you're the greatest You misbehave And it got your name on the A-list You're a bad motherfucker When you're stepping out You put the heat back in the summer Yeah A wolf that got the dough His mouth, he can't control Trying to put on a show Little do they know How bad we're about to blow Oh, oh, oh, oh Honey, don't play with fire I told you I'mma wipe your ashes off my shoulder 'Cause everybody loves the winner Pretenders, they don't remember I'mma kill 'em with the rhythm 'Cause everybody loves the winner I know there are consequences For all of my bad decisions, yeah I found a way to numb my senses I don't care, I don't care I don't care Honey, don't play with fire I told you I'mma wipe your ashes Off my shoulder 'Cause everybody Loves the winner, yeah Pretenders, they don't remember They don't I'mma kill 'em with the rhythm What you going to do? 'Cause everybody loves the winner If I told you If I told you If I told you If I told you Ow! [tattoo machine whirring.]
[Austin.]
I don't want anybody thinking, like I'm just one of those people that says, you know, "This isn't cool," and just walks away or whatever, you know.
Yeah.
I don't feel like you've come off like that though.
[Austin.]
Yeah.
Okay.
You know? Not to me anyway, but I love you, so - Yeah.
- [Alexandra.]
You know.
I'm a little biased too, because I love you as well.
Thanks.
Yeah.
[siren wailing.]
[eagle screeching.]
[Jim.]
I feel like it's like the first day of school.
Every workshop feels like the first day of school.
There are a few peopleÃÂ who I have less of a bead on what they are presenting today - um, than others.
- [Sean.]
Mm-hmm.
[Keith.]
And I worry about what Taz is going to be bringing in.
[Jim.]
I think right now, if we let them know, like, "By this date, X, Y and Z needs to happen.
" [Keith.]
Let's do that.
People need to be prepared to perform.
[indistinct chatter.]
- [woman 1.]
Hi.
- [man 1.]
Hi.
- [woman 1.]
How are you? - [man 2.]
So good.
- How are you? - [woman 1.]
I'm so good.
[Caitlin.]
Oh, puppets.
[Caitlin.]
Oh, hi.
- Don't make no never mind.
[laughs.]
- [Keith.]
Do we have everyone? [indistinct chatter.]
[Arika.]
Lately, I've been in a real funk.
I haven't been feeling confident when it comes to performing, when it comes to just me in general.
So I kind of isolate myself.
It's to the point I don't want to be around anybody.
[Keith.]
I'm so excited for today.
We've been on this train that we got onto without really knowing [laughs.]
where it was going.
And now we have our first major destination, which is this presentation in five weeks.
- Five weeks? - Five weeks.
[Keith.]
It's a big day.
[Sean.]
So, as far as the presentation, we're gonna aim for three main group songs and then, depending on what's ready and available, solo numbers.
If things aren't ready, we're not going to show them.
It's all a work in progress.
And the people who are coming will know that, but we have to show them as much as we possibly can of what this can be.
[Taz.]
What about 1 OAK? I'm confused.
[Keith.]
This is just the workshop.
This is getting the show down For the people that are gonna give us money to put on that show.
- [Jim.]
To put that up.
- [Keith.]
Exactly.
As a company, there are financial stakes.
The bigger the budget for 1 OAK, the more badass the show can be.
We will be in front of people that can help us to go to the next level and we want them to like it.
You guys are all required to also financially commit to the [laughter.]
[Keith.]
Let's just be clear about this.
This is a musical theater process.
- [Austin.]
So that's what this is.
- That's what this is.
I wasn't even told that.
That's the thing I was worried about.
Instead of being cheesy - It should be like - [James.]
It doesn't have to be cheesy.
[Keith.]
Musical theater is literally just stories being told through music.
It It incorporates literally any other art form.
Literally anything is possible.
- Can I throw my two cents in there? - [Keith.]
Please.
The best concerts you've ever seen have been musical theater.
Like Prince, for example, in Purple Rain.
That is a piece of musical theater that is not cheesy at all.
It's mind-blowingly real and eviscerating.
[Keith.]
It really is up to us.
This is This is the luxury and the responsibility.
That we're going to get out of this what we put into it.
A fuse has been lit.
And, in five weeks, this production will go off.
Whatever it is.
Okay, we don't have a lot of time.
So, um, who wants to go first? - [all cheer.]
- [Keith.]
Here we go.
- [clapping.]
- [Keith plays piano.]
[Keith.]
Tell me what you brought with you.
"Miss.
C.
Ary had a pickle today.
" [Keith.]
Miss.
C.
Ary.
Miss.
C.
Ary.
[Caitlin.]
"Miss.
C.
Ary just got carried away.
" The thing I was playing with when I was trying to figure out how to write about this is that my last name is Ary and I was like, "Miss.
C.
Ary had a problem today.
" And that's "miscarry".
[Keith.]
Okay, that's clever.
Yeah.
[Caitlin.]
I need it to be dark, but I need it to be funny 'cause that's how I like to deal with pain.
[Keith.]
Mm-hmm.
- [laughs.]
[Caitlin.]
Circusy, miscarriage pain.
[Keith playing piano.]
I mean, do we want to just go right there? I mean, yeah.
[Keith.]
Polyamory and miscarriage.
[Caitlin.]
Yeah.
Miss.
C.
Ary got carried away But Miss.
C.
Ary says she's fine Miss.
C.
Ary wants children Miss C.
Ary loves gay men [laughter.]
[Caitlin.]
Chris Lash, he has brought a lot of levity to my life.
We're both very open bisexuals.
Very open with our ever-changing masculinity and femininity.
And I find that really endearing.
And I'm like a boy [laughs.]
a lot and he finds that endearing.
We just fit.
We complement each other really perfectly in a way that I've never felt with anybody before, because I never knew that that's what I needed.
Failing to notice That something had died I'm just so sorry you lost it He cried [piano playing.]
[piano playing stops.]
[applause, cheering.]
[whistle.]
That was fucking awesome.
Thanks.
My face is shaking.
[chuckles.]
- [Pia.]
You - Like, right here.
You literally turned on the faucet for the first time and like gold water is pouring out.
I just love seeing you find your voice and what you want to do and sing the way you want to sing.
[Pia.]
From start to finish, it was so you and it was epic.
I don't really know what else to say, because it was perfect to me.
[cheering, applause.]
[Matt.]
What's going on now? There's this live production and nine artists getting in a room.
- That's interesting.
ÃÂ Very interesting.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, everybody has their opinion.
It doesn't mean you have the right to say it.
[chuckles.]
Do you have an opinion as well? There's people here that are writing songs and it's funny Some There will be some people that show their songs, and everyone will be like, "Oh, my gosh, that was so good.
Oh, my gosh, that was so deep.
" I'm like, "This is so fucking stupid.
" - I'm like - Their song was stupid or Yeah, the writing or whatever.
I'm like, "Dude" Yeah, that's just how I feel.
If I don't have anything good to say about it, I won't say anything.
Everybody wants to say something about it.
They're writing all these musical songs or whatever.
I'm here to write pop songs.
I'm here to write songs that are gonna sell, that are gonna makeÃÂ people money, that I like, that people are going to leave actually singing.
[Matt.]
Yeah.
- And I have written those, you know.
- [Matt.]
Yeah.
I know for a fact that the songs that I write are those pop songs that people sing.
And even though they're musicians, they're not fucking songwriters.
[Keith.]
Okay, Pia, you're next.
- [indistinct chatter.]
- [Keith playing piano.]
[Pia.]
[ Okay.
A pretty page hides the facts Of a life that you're pretending Filters off You don't know who you are Refresh again How many likes? What they see is your existence But in the end They don't care who you are Wanna be, wanna be Wanna be,ÃÂ wanna be someone Be somebody Gotta be, gotta be Gotta be,ÃÂ gotta be someone Be somebody What are the things that you now want that you, the real, true, honest Pia What do you want? [voice breaks.]
I don't want to do anything else besides sing.
[sniffs.]
That is [inhales deeply.]
what I love to do.
I just need this to work.
It has to work.
It has to happen this time.
I'm almost 30 years old, like [sniffs.]
It's scary because I'm married, should be having a kid sometime soon.
And I'm still fighting and chasing this dream.
[cries.]
I promised myself that I wouldn't go back to my old habits of the self-doubt and the [sniffs.]
[sighs deeply.]
And the lack of confidence.
Like I give all this advice to everybody else in the cast and I'm the biggest I feel like I'm a hypocrite, because I'm not listening to all the things that I tried to teach myself and that I worked on.
I need to just know that I'm good enough.
I don't have to look beautiful all the time.
I don't even have to fucking match.
I don't need to like [stammers.]
always be so together.
Like, it's okay if I'm not together.
It's okay, like People will like me just as Pia.
Safe behind my Avatar Safe behind my avatar - [applause.]
- [Alexandra.]
Yes, bitch.
[cheering.]
These lyrics, you know, it's like we're all in this world of perfection and it's very high expectations to live up to and stuff.
As the song ended, or got to the end of the bridge, I was like, "This 'gotta be, gotta be, da-da-da, ' has to be throughout the whole fucking song.
" - Yeah.
- [Alexandra.]
Yeah, I think.
It has to start with that, under your breath.
Gotta be, gotta be, gotta be [hums.]
- Yeah.
- It has to start there.
And then the music can kick in.
I totally, like, connect with you on a different level, because in front of, like, my fan base, - I edit what I say - Yeah.
how I act.
I have a potty mouth.
- They don't hear any of that.
- [Pia.]
Yeah.
They don't hear any of that.
Like, I'm this wholesome, country, Christian girl and I am using this show as a way to show everybody who I really am.
And you are using it for the same thing.
- Yeah.
- [Alexandra.]
It was amazing and it shows that you don't have to just take it.
- [Pia.]
Yeah.
So specifically.
- Exactly.
You can take it however you want and interpret it however and I think it's gonna be a smash.
- [all cheer.]
- [Pia.]
Thank you.
[applause.]
[Keith.]
Taz is next.
Ready? [plays piano.]
Shit.
[Keith.]
I want you to sell it.
[Taz hums.]
[Keith.]
I'm not sold.
Oh [Keith.]
We want to see the fight.
[humming continues.]
[Keith.]
Sell it, sell it, sell it, sell it.
[plays piano.]
Two, three, four.
Mama don't tell me I'm a beautiful girl Just pull my head up And I can rule the world [playing continues.]
Troubled at 13 and it's all my fault The look on her face Really said it all But I'mma try, I'mma try I swear it's gonna be the last time I'mma try, I'mma try It'll never, ever happen again I'mma do better I'mma do better I'mma do better Better "Dear Mama Hey, it's me.
Today I crossed out my 42nd day in this crazy place on my calendar.
Counting the days to finally hug my best friend.
And that's you, Mama.
[sighs deeply.]
Not a lot of people have what I have and I feel so ashamed for not noticing what I had all this time.
I messed up.
Every time I try to pick myself up again, just know it has always been for you.
[clears throat.]
You're the only reason I try to survive in this world.
Don't worry about me.
You know I'm here and I'm good.
I can't wait to see you.
I miss you and I miss your cooking, Mama.
I love you.
Don't forget to write me back.
Sincerely, your little brat, Tiffany Alice Zavala, booking number 436-7370.
" Because I'mma do better I'mma do better I'mma do better Better, better [cheering, applause.]
I'mma do better Yes, Mama, I'mma do I'mma try to do better [softly.]
Geez Louise, cheddar cheese.
That was so bad.
- Yes! Throwing pens.
- [applause.]
[Pia.]
Yes! [Sean.]
Oh, my God.
[Keith.]
Great.
Thank you.
[plays piano.]
- Austin, you are next.
- [Austin.]
Oh, I am? [Austin chuckles.]
[Austin exhales, trills tongue.]
[Austin.]
At the end of the song, life goes on [Austin playing piano.]
[Austin.]
Let me get it in my head.
[hums.]
[Austin.]
Uh, so I have probably about 30 working ideas for this song.
The concept of it is being only accepted for my accomplishments, rather than myself.
So that's pretty much what the song is about.
Um I have taken the progression that we actually used for Nine Lives, because I really liked it, but Uh obviously, as you guys know me, - my plan is for it to be fucking epic.
- [Leo.]
Hey! So, like I said, I just used this progression so far.
Run away There's nothing left for you here I believe in blue skies Where the water's clear Even at the end of this song I say life goes on, life goes on Life goes on Even at the end of this song I say life goes on Life goes on Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh Yeah [Keith.]
Anything else? That's all I have so far.
Anyway [laughs.]
[Pia.]
So, what you just played, that was the verse idea? "Run away"? Yeah.
[plays piano.]
I'm gonna sing that first verse again real quick.
Sell it to you guys a little bit more.
Run away There's nothing left for you here I believe in blue skies Where the water's clear That's gonna kinda be the feel and you can kinda see a disco feel for sure.
[Keith.]
Anything else? [yawning.]
I can sing it, like, crying too, you know.
[Alexandra.]
Sounded great, Austin.
[Austin.]
Oh, thank you.
[Keith.]
Thanks, Austin.
SDH created by: Arvind Vishwakarma
[indistinct chattering.]
[Chris.]
I'm gonna teach you a game, M'lisa.
- Put your hand out.
- [Caitlin laughs.]
We're going to do this? I mean, I'm going to do this.
So, instead of vegetable oil, you use one packet of apple sauce and it makes it much more moist and flavorful.
- [Chris.]
One-third? Is that what you said? - Yep.
Oh, you need a thing, right? A spatula? [utensil clinks.]
This looks a little bit goopy.
Well, when you bake it, it hardens.
- [indistinct chatter.]
- [Caitlin chuckles.]
[man.]
Have you seen where Itsy-bitsy spider.
[bell dings.]
This is dry.
[Caitlin.]
I know! I think it was in too long.
We have had that bag of brownie mix for a while.
[chuckles.]
[Chris.]
I need more than milk to wash this out of my mouth.
- Have any scotch? - [Caitlin laughs.]
[woman.]
It might be old brownie mix.
- [man.]
What was the date on it? - [woman.]
September 22nd, 2016.
So that's why.
They're expired.
- They're, yep.
- Oh, yeah.
It tastes like death.
[both laugh.]
- Hey, guys.
Stafford? - [Stafford.]
What's up? - Good to see you again.
- [Stafford.]
Come on in.
Dance floor.
- This is where everyone wants to be.
- [Sean.]
Yeah.
So are there booths that go around the top? We line them up all against the wall, so you have downstairs, upstairs.
Ended up at 1 Oak [Sean.]
Now that the creative process is in full swing, it's got my mind racing about how this is all going to work.
What does it take to move something like this for a live show? It costs a bit of money, but it's possible.
We want to be hugely interactive, so that, you know, people are running around, singing in different spots.
Because I'm imagining this would be the main entertaining area, you know, and then you'd be able to come down and kind of interact.
Is it cool if people were standing on it? - I feel bad standing on it.
[chuckles.]
- [Stafford.]
No, it's a nightly thing.
[Sean.]
If we wanted to pack this place, what do you think is a going rate for a table we would be able to charge for a live show? - Gosh.
Cheapest table? - Yeah.
Twenty-five hundred maybe.
[Sean sighs deeply.]
[Stafford.]
You can have a VVIP experience for 10,000 all the way down there.
I mean, this is LA.
- Yeah.
- The money's here.
[Sean.]
It's also time to start planning a presentation and invite potential investors to secure finances.
There's a lot of pressure to make sure we do this right for all of us.
[beep.]
[machine powering up.]
[crowd cheering, shouting.]
[DJ.]
We're in LA, we love the motherfucking Hollywood city life, the Beverley Hills and all that shit.
I came from a small town Looking for a big life A life full of promise Turned to promises broken Won't make the headlines Same old story Soulless and lonely Because a big life is a big lie When you're barely getting by When you struggle just to survive You live with the constant hunger You feel like you're going under You're caught up inside a drama That goes on over and over Lights of the city Lights of the city Will pull you in Like a moth to a flame Lights of the city Ain't always pretty When your dreams are broken When your soul is claimed By the lights of the city I came with my big dreams Dreaming of the big time Making the big score Out in the big world The big city don't lie Life just took a left turn Sometimes you just get burned 'Cause the big life Turns to small time When you buy into the lies And you're right down To your last dime Now I'm just another hustler Trying to make a dollar Trying to stay alive But it just gets harder and harder Lights of the city Lights of the city Pull you in like a moth to a flame Lights of the city Ain't always pretty When your dreams are broken And your soul is claimed By the lights of the city Ain't no comfort In these hungry streets No! Everything's a fight Got to fight for everything No, this life Ain't what I thought it would be Hey Nah Oh, no Came from a small town Looking for a big life - Lights - Lights of the city Lights of the city - Pull you in like a moth to a flame - Moth to a flame Lights of the city Ain't always pretty When your dreams are broken When your soul is claimed Lights The lights of the city The lights, the lights, the lights Lights of the city Lights of the city Lights of the city [siren wailing.]
Sotoday we're focusing on your solo song.
[Pia.]
Okay.
And what that's going to be? Yeah.
At Capitol, you mentioned the facade of your life.
I tried to hide behind a lot of smiles and that everything was okay when everything around me was really crumbling.
I had I was given a lot of amazing opportunities, but I was also silenced a lot of times.
And I did that a lot to myself.
I didn't think I was good enough to really have my voice heard.
[Keith.]
So, I wonder if that is something that you want to re-explore.
You know, honestly, I've been struggling with the facade of my life.
Like, it's a lot to live up to.
[Pia.]
This takes like a half hour.
Sometimes it's just so nice not to have any makeup on.
I don't like my nose.
When I was on American Idol, there was this website called Vote for the Worst.
And they would make fun of me and they would say, "She looks like she's from Jersey Shore with this nose job gone bad.
" Meanwhile, I'd never, ever touched my face.
And I was so insecure about it.
And I entertained the idea of getting a nose job.
It's easy to say, "Why do you even care about those things? You don't even know these people.
" But, in reality, it hurts everybody unless you really truly just don't give a shit.
But that's not you know human.
We all give a shit.
I need this many likes on Instagram.
Otherwise, I feel like I've failed.
I did a bunch of shows over the weekend and if I didn't get, like, "You were so incredible today.
Oh, my God!" I'm going to feel like I'm not good enough.
I'm always searching for approval.
From people I don't even know.
There's really no-one I can talk to, except my best friend, Cassie.
So I like feel like I'm going to burst.
[Keith.]
Take a picture crop it.
[Pia.]
Got to make that photo pop.
[Keith.]
Because no one will play us when we're [Pia.]
Insta-famous.
[Keith.]
Safe behind - [Pia.]
Where does it go from here? - [Keith.]
Safe behind my Okay, that's right.
Safe behind Safe behind my avatar That sounds amazing.
- Thank you.
I really love this song.
- [Keith.]
Mm-hmm.
[siren wailing.]
[Arika.]
I want to have another barbecued shrimp.
- Okay.
- [Arika.]
Yes.
Let's do it.
- [Michael.]
Okay.
- Let's go.
I want the barbecued shrimp.
[Arika mumbles.]
- [Michael.]
Who else you gonna have coming? - I don't know.
[Michael.]
What about the group you're working with? You vibe with all of them? Yeah.
We all like Yeah, pretty much.
Okay.
That's very cool.
I think it'd be good for you to get to know these people better.
Yeah.
[sighs.]
You've been pretty private up until this point.
I know.
I've been private for a reason.
Because I don't know People can be pretty manipulative.
But I just feel like always staying in the mindset of the people who hurt you is just like toxic, so [Michael.]
You need to let go of this shit.
Mmm No, the fuck I'm not.
- [chuckles softly.]
- [Arika laughs.]
[Arika.]
When it comes to being social I'm really like a fly on the wall and just sit and not say nothing.
[chuckles softly.]
That shit isn't easy, man.
It isn't easy.
[Arika.]
I've been, you know, drowning in all these issues and all these emotions that I'm too scared to even really embrace.
I've kept it to myself for pretty much my entire life, so no amount of nothing I do.
No Xanax, no cigarette, no weed, no anything that's out there is going to help this feeling, you know.
No, I'm not going for no No bullshit.
[James.]
Hey, there's a hard way to love And it seems It's the only way you know Yeah, I'm tired of watching my back All the time Like you're headed for the door And the truth is not setting me free It's just making me feel like a jerk I try hard not to self-medicate But it's the only thing that works Help me feel really good Till I [James.]
I've been sober for a week now.
No drink, no drugs, no nothing.
I'm just trying to get some peace.
A lot of times when you're drinking, it's a really difficult task to do the dance of life.
But I'm I'm just really excited to be alive these days.
I pretend I feel really good Feel like I'm free, yeah Feel like I'm understood 'Cause ain't that the way Life is supposed to be - [strums guitar.]
- Woo! - [James.]
Hey.
Thank you.
[chuckles.]
- [applause.]
- [James.]
Hey, what's up? - Hey.
- How are you? - I'm good.
And you? - I cannot wait to write a song with you! - Cool.
- That was so awesome.
- [strums guitar.]
Thank you.
- [James.]
How are you doing? - Good.
What's up? Nothing.
I just wanted to come out, see this whole thing.
- This is something I wanna do.
- Do it.
- [Alexandra.]
So, yeah.
- Do it.
- [James strumming guitar.]
- Have you started your, uh, - your song for the workshop? - [James.]
No.
Me neither.
I'm trying to figure out what I want to write about.
I need to write a song.
I need a It's almost like I needed a reason.
Me too.
I needed someone to say, "You have to sit down and write a song.
" "You have to sit down and write a song.
You're not allowed to walk away.
" Right.
I think it's gonna be good to, like, not to play something I've already written.
I kinda started to toy around with an idea for a song about being scared that a relationship's not gonna work, but it wouldn't be fair to Yas.
I don't wanna write it and hurt herÃÂ feelings and make her think that that's what I think about all the time.
Especially because she and I have been having a rough go lately.
- She moved here from Argentina.
- Wow.
She changed her entire life to be here for me, soÃÂ lots of pressure on us.
Especially since I asked her to marry me and she's wearing my ring.
We're both scared it's not going to work, you know? Dude, I go through that too.
Because I dig back from past relationships and I'm afraid that Indy is gonna see them and he's gonna be like, "Do you still think about this person?" I'm like, "No, I had to find something.
" - This is just music.
- Right.
As songwriters, we have to dig up things that hurt in order to Or I do anyway.
- [James.]
Yeah.
You're a great songwriter.
- Thank you.
That means a lot.
'Cause you're a bad motherfucker.
[both laugh.]
[train chugging.]
[gate opens.]
[Caitlin.]
Here we go! [Pia.]
To me, this is like my last chance.
There's no option for this to fail.
It has to work out.
I just want this to be a fucking cool thing.
I want to go on stage and be proud, not embarrassed.
And there's no way that I'm going to let myself underachieve this.
If I fuck it up, it's because I tried really hard and I'm not good enough.
[man.]
Watch me If seeing is Then boom.
Like that kind of stuff? - Yes.
- In terms of volume.
So big? Big.
I don't want to hide.
You don't Okay.
Boom, boom.
[Pia.]
I love, love, love, love Taz, but I'm concerned about her, because I feel like her insecurities are getting the best of her.
I see so many similarities with me and her, but the one thing is The difference is work ethic.
I don't know how to help Taz because she lives her anxiety by backing away.
- I wonder though what's going on at home.
- [phone ringing.]
Here's my mom.
Geez Louise, cheddar cheese.
- Hello.
- [Denise laughs.]
Yes, Mom, I'm at rehearsal.
I I told you.
I've been telling you this since, like, Monday last week.
- [Taz's Mom.]
Where at? - [Taz.]
In Beverly Hills.
Denise is here, she could text you so you think I'm not lying.
[Pia.]
I know that if you push too hard with her, she's just gonna crack and break and then she just panics.
She doesn't know what to do, so this wall comes up.
I think she's so nervous about looking stupid.
[Pia.]
She doesn't even - Or messing up.
- [Pia.]
She doesn't even try it.
It's completely stifling her from even trying.
[Taz.]
I'll call you in a bit, okay? [Denise.]
Mom just texted me right now, it's so funny.
She's like, "Are you there withÃÂ Tiffany?" I said, "Yes, I'm here with her.
" - Mom won't ever believe me.
- [laughter.]
I'm like, "Mom, I'm in the library.
" She calls 911.
- God, Taz, stop being a rebel.
- You know, okay.
- Just go home.
- I'm not a rebel.
I always get caught with everything I do anyway.
[laughs.]
I think that she needs to break.
You either have to step up right now or you've got to go.
And it's that serious because that's been told to me in the past.
And that's the only reason why I'm stepping up now.
Please me, touch me, hold you [hums, grunts.]
[Pia.]
My grandpa was a huge Mets fan.
I became obsessed with Mike Piazza and Jay Payton - and I wanted - [Caitlin.]
Oh, my God, Mike Piazza.
[Pia.]
I had the biggest crush on him.
- It's okay.
My first love was Weird Al.
- [Pia laughs.]
And Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey was my first crush! [chuckles.]
Because I was going go be like, "Well, I'll be Caitlin Ary-Carrey.
Or Caitlin Carrey-Ary.
" - [Pia laughs.]
Caitlin Carrey-Ary.
- I'll have a split last name.
[Pia.]
I like to be with people that make me laugh.
Me too.
Every great comedian has gone through shit, because they're not funny unlessÃÂ they've lived life, and had some shit to overcome.
I don't know, I have, like That's kind of like my entire life.
Like, this fucking miscarriage bullshit and it's very complicated - You had a miscarriage with Chris? - [Caitlin.]
Yeah.
It was when me and Chris and Dan were all complicated.
- Oh, my gosh.
- [Caitlin.]
Yeah.
Were you dating him too? Um, no.
It was, like, a V situation.
Chris was dating both of us.
Chris and Dan lived together.
And then Chris was also dating me.
But then the three of us would hang out and we would talk and sometimes we'd make out, because we were doing drugs or being drunk or just being silly and trying to like Trying to be very present with love.
Were you, like, trying? Was [Caitlin.]
No, no.
I had an IUD.
So there was, like, literally a 0.
03% chance of that happening.
Wow.
And getting pregnant with an IUD is incredibly dangerous and can kill you.
[Pia.]
Did you just take it out? I don't Yeah, I had to go to the doctor and she took my IUD out and then I had to take a test to see if my hormones were going up or down.
If they were going up, it's a viable pregnancy and then I would have to actually make a decision to try and keep a child or not.
In the middle of a throuple when I'm poor.
I hid it from both of them for three weeks until I had actually miscarried.
Until the thing actually fell out of me.
[Pia.]
Caitlin.
Oh, my God, this is not happening.
[Caitlin.]
It was so fucking weird that I had to be making jokes about it immediately, like, the second it happened, because I didn't want to just cry all the time.
Yeah.
You need to write a song about it.
[Caitlin.]
I don't know.
[Caitlin.]
Chris has taught me how to laugh my way out of pain.
I think that I'm built to wallow and it's so hard for me to feel love, because all I'm feeling is make the pain stop.
Depression is like that a lot of the time.
I'm already a professional at sitting in pain anyway, so if I can remove other things, like outside sources of pain, I will.
[siren wailing.]
[car horns honking.]
[Keith plays keyboard.]
[sighs deeply.]
[Keith.]
What we're doing today - [Taz.]
Yeah.
- is, um, developing your solo song for the show.
[Taz.]
You know how you told us to do a couple of, like, - You told us to do homework kinda thing - Yes.
What have you done? Well, I didn't write full-on songs.
It's not, like, super written.
- [Taz clears throat.]
- [Keith.]
So where do we go with this song? I think, um Me now, being in this whole group and cast and stuff like this, it's making me realize, like, "Hey, you have a lot of stuff that you haven't even confronted.
" So, like, the past workshops - have been very scary for me.
[chuckles.]
- Yeah.
I never like to be honest with myself, because I [sighs.]
With my parents and I, it's always like, if you cry, you're showing a sign of weakness.
I've done many, many mistakes and I feel like, out of me and my sisters, my parents worry about me the most because I've done stupid stuff.
So what are What are specific instances of you fucking up? Me going to jail.
I went to jail for 54 days.
And, um, that's a long time.
My whole family, they would come visit me every week and, you know, I would always be tough.
Me and my dad, we don't cry in front of each other, so I don't know.
When I saw him be like [sniffs.]
I saw him walking in and I didn't want to cry and then we both started crying to each other.
So it was kind of like, "Dang, we both hold so much in," and it's like I want to just be so open to my dad and I felt like aÃÂ fuck up, because I was like, "Wow, this is the time he shows me affection.
When I'm in jail.
" [cries.]
[Taz exhales deeply.]
And like [sniffs.]
that was It's been, uh, very embarrassing for me.
That's why [inhales deeply.]
Um, that's why That's where the fuck up I feel That has, um, been holding me back with a lot of things.
Can you tell me what you were in jail for? DUIs.
Yeah.
[Taz.]
Sometimes I'd just, you know I would rather drink andÃÂ not pay attention to what's really going on.
[Lionel.]
Thank you, brother.
I'll see you, uh tomorrow probably.
[laughs.]
I know I could do better.
I know who I am.
I'm a singer.
I I am an entertainer and, like I don't know, I just was always scared to just confront that.
[Keith.]
All right.
Here, let's just stand for a second.
Will you just Will you just sing the words "do better"? - And just make up some random stuff.
- Are you going to play Do better Hold on.
Do better I'mma do better [Keith plays keyboard.]
I'mma do better [Keith.]
Good.
There's something empowering to me about hearing you say those words.
Do better I'mma do better [Taz.]
Thank you.
Um, is there anything else that I need to, like [Keith.]
Um, write as much as possible.
Okay.
Thank you.
Mwah.
[Austin.]
I'm excited for you.
How do you feel? [Alexandra.]
I feel nervous.
[Austin.]
Hey, listen, it's going to look good.
Lexi, just look at me.
It's fine, seriously.
It's totally cool.
[Alexandra.]
It's gonna be fine.
I need your hand.
[Austin.]
Very proud of you.
See? It was nothing.
[Alexandra.]
No, it really wasn't.
[Austin.]
Yeah, take a photo.
There you go.
Do it right now.
- [camera shutter clicks.]
- [tattoo machine whirring.]
You look like you're modeling in these.
You're like [Austin.]
Do I really? - [Alexandra.]
Like it's just nothing.
- [Austin.]
Um You're such a stud in these pics.
I want you to take a picture of me laughing while I'm getting this done.
- [laughs.]
- [whirring continues.]
[Austin.]
Alex.
- [laughs.]
- You know I'm going to call you Alexandra - until the day.
- Don't! - [Austin.]
Why? - I like Lexi better.
Do you like Alexandra better? You know why? It's because I used to date someone named Alexandra.
[Alexandra.]
Okay.
Everybody would call her Alex and I'd go - "Alexandra!" - [Alexandra laughs.]
[Alexandra.]
When you say it like that, you sound like my mom.
- Alexandra! - Alexandra Elizabeth, go clean your room! What's funny is you and her have the same middle name too.
- Elizabeth? Really? - Yeah.
What's your last name? - Krikorian.
- Okay.
That's why we took the K from my last name, spelled it out K-A-Y.
- [Austin.]
Yeah.
- I was like, "It's just too long.
" - Yeah.
Unless it's Kardashian, they don't You know? - [Austin.]
Yeah, yeah.
- [both laugh.]
[Alexandra.]
It's all good.
How did you think the workshop went the other night? Uh, yeah, I'm not going to lie.
I was not stoked whatsoever about it.
The feelings that I had - that were extremely critical - [Alexandra.]
Mm-hmm.
were because if my name is going to be on it, I want be awesome, you know? I just had this big idea for what I thought we could make.
[Austin.]
I have no idea what the show's going to be.
All these questions I have that are still unanswered.
And as much as these people are concerned about the quote, unquote, "fucking journey," it's not about that.
It's about us delivering something memorable.
And if all else fails, I'll take the reins.
Don't shoot Hold back your fire I'm not the one Who needs the reminder Yo, bad motherfucker Do me a favor Save your opinion for your mother A wolf that got the dough His mouth, he can't control Trying to put on a show Little do they know How bad we're about to blow Oh, oh, oh Oh Honey, don't play with fire I told you I'mma wipe your ashes Off my shoulder Yeah 'Cause everybody loves the winner Pretenders, they don't remember I'mma kill 'em with the rhythm Gotta kill 'em with it 'Cause everybody loves the winner Can't lose Kid, you're the greatest You misbehave And it got your name on the A-list You're a bad motherfucker When you're stepping out You put the heat back in the summer Yeah A wolf that got the dough His mouth, he can't control Trying to put on a show Little do they know How bad we're about to blow Oh, oh, oh, oh Honey, don't play with fire I told you I'mma wipe your ashes off my shoulder 'Cause everybody loves the winner Pretenders, they don't remember I'mma kill 'em with the rhythm 'Cause everybody loves the winner I know there are consequences For all of my bad decisions, yeah I found a way to numb my senses I don't care, I don't care I don't care Honey, don't play with fire I told you I'mma wipe your ashes Off my shoulder 'Cause everybody Loves the winner, yeah Pretenders, they don't remember They don't I'mma kill 'em with the rhythm What you going to do? 'Cause everybody loves the winner If I told you If I told you If I told you If I told you Ow! [tattoo machine whirring.]
[Austin.]
I don't want anybody thinking, like I'm just one of those people that says, you know, "This isn't cool," and just walks away or whatever, you know.
Yeah.
I don't feel like you've come off like that though.
[Austin.]
Yeah.
Okay.
You know? Not to me anyway, but I love you, so - Yeah.
- [Alexandra.]
You know.
I'm a little biased too, because I love you as well.
Thanks.
Yeah.
[siren wailing.]
[eagle screeching.]
[Jim.]
I feel like it's like the first day of school.
Every workshop feels like the first day of school.
There are a few peopleÃÂ who I have less of a bead on what they are presenting today - um, than others.
- [Sean.]
Mm-hmm.
[Keith.]
And I worry about what Taz is going to be bringing in.
[Jim.]
I think right now, if we let them know, like, "By this date, X, Y and Z needs to happen.
" [Keith.]
Let's do that.
People need to be prepared to perform.
[indistinct chatter.]
- [woman 1.]
Hi.
- [man 1.]
Hi.
- [woman 1.]
How are you? - [man 2.]
So good.
- How are you? - [woman 1.]
I'm so good.
[Caitlin.]
Oh, puppets.
[Caitlin.]
Oh, hi.
- Don't make no never mind.
[laughs.]
- [Keith.]
Do we have everyone? [indistinct chatter.]
[Arika.]
Lately, I've been in a real funk.
I haven't been feeling confident when it comes to performing, when it comes to just me in general.
So I kind of isolate myself.
It's to the point I don't want to be around anybody.
[Keith.]
I'm so excited for today.
We've been on this train that we got onto without really knowing [laughs.]
where it was going.
And now we have our first major destination, which is this presentation in five weeks.
- Five weeks? - Five weeks.
[Keith.]
It's a big day.
[Sean.]
So, as far as the presentation, we're gonna aim for three main group songs and then, depending on what's ready and available, solo numbers.
If things aren't ready, we're not going to show them.
It's all a work in progress.
And the people who are coming will know that, but we have to show them as much as we possibly can of what this can be.
[Taz.]
What about 1 OAK? I'm confused.
[Keith.]
This is just the workshop.
This is getting the show down For the people that are gonna give us money to put on that show.
- [Jim.]
To put that up.
- [Keith.]
Exactly.
As a company, there are financial stakes.
The bigger the budget for 1 OAK, the more badass the show can be.
We will be in front of people that can help us to go to the next level and we want them to like it.
You guys are all required to also financially commit to the [laughter.]
[Keith.]
Let's just be clear about this.
This is a musical theater process.
- [Austin.]
So that's what this is.
- That's what this is.
I wasn't even told that.
That's the thing I was worried about.
Instead of being cheesy - It should be like - [James.]
It doesn't have to be cheesy.
[Keith.]
Musical theater is literally just stories being told through music.
It It incorporates literally any other art form.
Literally anything is possible.
- Can I throw my two cents in there? - [Keith.]
Please.
The best concerts you've ever seen have been musical theater.
Like Prince, for example, in Purple Rain.
That is a piece of musical theater that is not cheesy at all.
It's mind-blowingly real and eviscerating.
[Keith.]
It really is up to us.
This is This is the luxury and the responsibility.
That we're going to get out of this what we put into it.
A fuse has been lit.
And, in five weeks, this production will go off.
Whatever it is.
Okay, we don't have a lot of time.
So, um, who wants to go first? - [all cheer.]
- [Keith.]
Here we go.
- [clapping.]
- [Keith plays piano.]
[Keith.]
Tell me what you brought with you.
"Miss.
C.
Ary had a pickle today.
" [Keith.]
Miss.
C.
Ary.
Miss.
C.
Ary.
[Caitlin.]
"Miss.
C.
Ary just got carried away.
" The thing I was playing with when I was trying to figure out how to write about this is that my last name is Ary and I was like, "Miss.
C.
Ary had a problem today.
" And that's "miscarry".
[Keith.]
Okay, that's clever.
Yeah.
[Caitlin.]
I need it to be dark, but I need it to be funny 'cause that's how I like to deal with pain.
[Keith.]
Mm-hmm.
- [laughs.]
[Caitlin.]
Circusy, miscarriage pain.
[Keith playing piano.]
I mean, do we want to just go right there? I mean, yeah.
[Keith.]
Polyamory and miscarriage.
[Caitlin.]
Yeah.
Miss.
C.
Ary got carried away But Miss.
C.
Ary says she's fine Miss.
C.
Ary wants children Miss C.
Ary loves gay men [laughter.]
[Caitlin.]
Chris Lash, he has brought a lot of levity to my life.
We're both very open bisexuals.
Very open with our ever-changing masculinity and femininity.
And I find that really endearing.
And I'm like a boy [laughs.]
a lot and he finds that endearing.
We just fit.
We complement each other really perfectly in a way that I've never felt with anybody before, because I never knew that that's what I needed.
Failing to notice That something had died I'm just so sorry you lost it He cried [piano playing.]
[piano playing stops.]
[applause, cheering.]
[whistle.]
That was fucking awesome.
Thanks.
My face is shaking.
[chuckles.]
- [Pia.]
You - Like, right here.
You literally turned on the faucet for the first time and like gold water is pouring out.
I just love seeing you find your voice and what you want to do and sing the way you want to sing.
[Pia.]
From start to finish, it was so you and it was epic.
I don't really know what else to say, because it was perfect to me.
[cheering, applause.]
[Matt.]
What's going on now? There's this live production and nine artists getting in a room.
- That's interesting.
ÃÂ Very interesting.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, everybody has their opinion.
It doesn't mean you have the right to say it.
[chuckles.]
Do you have an opinion as well? There's people here that are writing songs and it's funny Some There will be some people that show their songs, and everyone will be like, "Oh, my gosh, that was so good.
Oh, my gosh, that was so deep.
" I'm like, "This is so fucking stupid.
" - I'm like - Their song was stupid or Yeah, the writing or whatever.
I'm like, "Dude" Yeah, that's just how I feel.
If I don't have anything good to say about it, I won't say anything.
Everybody wants to say something about it.
They're writing all these musical songs or whatever.
I'm here to write pop songs.
I'm here to write songs that are gonna sell, that are gonna makeÃÂ people money, that I like, that people are going to leave actually singing.
[Matt.]
Yeah.
- And I have written those, you know.
- [Matt.]
Yeah.
I know for a fact that the songs that I write are those pop songs that people sing.
And even though they're musicians, they're not fucking songwriters.
[Keith.]
Okay, Pia, you're next.
- [indistinct chatter.]
- [Keith playing piano.]
[Pia.]
[ Okay.
A pretty page hides the facts Of a life that you're pretending Filters off You don't know who you are Refresh again How many likes? What they see is your existence But in the end They don't care who you are Wanna be, wanna be Wanna be,ÃÂ wanna be someone Be somebody Gotta be, gotta be Gotta be,ÃÂ gotta be someone Be somebody What are the things that you now want that you, the real, true, honest Pia What do you want? [voice breaks.]
I don't want to do anything else besides sing.
[sniffs.]
That is [inhales deeply.]
what I love to do.
I just need this to work.
It has to work.
It has to happen this time.
I'm almost 30 years old, like [sniffs.]
It's scary because I'm married, should be having a kid sometime soon.
And I'm still fighting and chasing this dream.
[cries.]
I promised myself that I wouldn't go back to my old habits of the self-doubt and the [sniffs.]
[sighs deeply.]
And the lack of confidence.
Like I give all this advice to everybody else in the cast and I'm the biggest I feel like I'm a hypocrite, because I'm not listening to all the things that I tried to teach myself and that I worked on.
I need to just know that I'm good enough.
I don't have to look beautiful all the time.
I don't even have to fucking match.
I don't need to like [stammers.]
always be so together.
Like, it's okay if I'm not together.
It's okay, like People will like me just as Pia.
Safe behind my Avatar Safe behind my avatar - [applause.]
- [Alexandra.]
Yes, bitch.
[cheering.]
These lyrics, you know, it's like we're all in this world of perfection and it's very high expectations to live up to and stuff.
As the song ended, or got to the end of the bridge, I was like, "This 'gotta be, gotta be, da-da-da, ' has to be throughout the whole fucking song.
" - Yeah.
- [Alexandra.]
Yeah, I think.
It has to start with that, under your breath.
Gotta be, gotta be, gotta be [hums.]
- Yeah.
- It has to start there.
And then the music can kick in.
I totally, like, connect with you on a different level, because in front of, like, my fan base, - I edit what I say - Yeah.
how I act.
I have a potty mouth.
- They don't hear any of that.
- [Pia.]
Yeah.
They don't hear any of that.
Like, I'm this wholesome, country, Christian girl and I am using this show as a way to show everybody who I really am.
And you are using it for the same thing.
- Yeah.
- [Alexandra.]
It was amazing and it shows that you don't have to just take it.
- [Pia.]
Yeah.
So specifically.
- Exactly.
You can take it however you want and interpret it however and I think it's gonna be a smash.
- [all cheer.]
- [Pia.]
Thank you.
[applause.]
[Keith.]
Taz is next.
Ready? [plays piano.]
Shit.
[Keith.]
I want you to sell it.
[Taz hums.]
[Keith.]
I'm not sold.
Oh [Keith.]
We want to see the fight.
[humming continues.]
[Keith.]
Sell it, sell it, sell it, sell it.
[plays piano.]
Two, three, four.
Mama don't tell me I'm a beautiful girl Just pull my head up And I can rule the world [playing continues.]
Troubled at 13 and it's all my fault The look on her face Really said it all But I'mma try, I'mma try I swear it's gonna be the last time I'mma try, I'mma try It'll never, ever happen again I'mma do better I'mma do better I'mma do better Better "Dear Mama Hey, it's me.
Today I crossed out my 42nd day in this crazy place on my calendar.
Counting the days to finally hug my best friend.
And that's you, Mama.
[sighs deeply.]
Not a lot of people have what I have and I feel so ashamed for not noticing what I had all this time.
I messed up.
Every time I try to pick myself up again, just know it has always been for you.
[clears throat.]
You're the only reason I try to survive in this world.
Don't worry about me.
You know I'm here and I'm good.
I can't wait to see you.
I miss you and I miss your cooking, Mama.
I love you.
Don't forget to write me back.
Sincerely, your little brat, Tiffany Alice Zavala, booking number 436-7370.
" Because I'mma do better I'mma do better I'mma do better Better, better [cheering, applause.]
I'mma do better Yes, Mama, I'mma do I'mma try to do better [softly.]
Geez Louise, cheddar cheese.
That was so bad.
- Yes! Throwing pens.
- [applause.]
[Pia.]
Yes! [Sean.]
Oh, my God.
[Keith.]
Great.
Thank you.
[plays piano.]
- Austin, you are next.
- [Austin.]
Oh, I am? [Austin chuckles.]
[Austin exhales, trills tongue.]
[Austin.]
At the end of the song, life goes on [Austin playing piano.]
[Austin.]
Let me get it in my head.
[hums.]
[Austin.]
Uh, so I have probably about 30 working ideas for this song.
The concept of it is being only accepted for my accomplishments, rather than myself.
So that's pretty much what the song is about.
Um I have taken the progression that we actually used for Nine Lives, because I really liked it, but Uh obviously, as you guys know me, - my plan is for it to be fucking epic.
- [Leo.]
Hey! So, like I said, I just used this progression so far.
Run away There's nothing left for you here I believe in blue skies Where the water's clear Even at the end of this song I say life goes on, life goes on Life goes on Even at the end of this song I say life goes on Life goes on Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh Yeah [Keith.]
Anything else? That's all I have so far.
Anyway [laughs.]
[Pia.]
So, what you just played, that was the verse idea? "Run away"? Yeah.
[plays piano.]
I'm gonna sing that first verse again real quick.
Sell it to you guys a little bit more.
Run away There's nothing left for you here I believe in blue skies Where the water's clear That's gonna kinda be the feel and you can kinda see a disco feel for sure.
[Keith.]
Anything else? [yawning.]
I can sing it, like, crying too, you know.
[Alexandra.]
Sounded great, Austin.
[Austin.]
Oh, thank you.
[Keith.]
Thanks, Austin.
SDH created by: Arvind Vishwakarma