Wizards of Waverly Place s03e15 Episode Script

The Good, The Bad, and the Alex

[whirring.]
Making my own beef jerky's gonnthan I thought.
nger Dude, that was so much fun! I don't remember the Wthat crowded last year.
That's because this is the elf-stacking contest.
Demeaning, but fun.
Thanks for taking me, guys.
I just can't get enough of these corn dogs.
Those aren't corn dogs.
They're fried unicorn horns.
A fried unicorn horn has all the nutrients a human needs for an entire year.
It's like eating [sighs.]
Why are the prettiest animals so delicious? Hey, how come I didn't get to go to the fair with you guys? It was ladies' night, but we did bring you something.
A lady, possibly bearded? Here.
It's a corn dog seed.
Go plant it, your own corn dog tree.
I don't think this is gonna work.
This obviously isn't a corn dog seed, it's a stick seed.
Wa stick tree?ow - You could build a fort.
- I'm Thanks, guys! fort.
Nice work.
You must've had some good times messing with your brother.
Yeah.
Before we stopped talking to each other, I used to mess with Warren all the time.
Well, you are free to mess with my brothers any time you want, befriends are for.
t Now come on, blow it up.
I've gotta get going.
She really doesn't like blowing it up.
I think that was about her brother.
She must really miss him.
[gasps.]
You know what we should do? We should help them get back together.
That's a totally nice thing to do.
We should do it 'cause you never come up with those.
Yeah.
Sobut I never say them.
This one I did, so let's see how it goes.
gonna be a breeze * * Well, you know everything's * That the end will no doubt justify the means * * You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease * * Yes, please it'll go to your head * * But you might find out * When you write a report on a book you never read * * With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed * * That's what I said * Everything is not what it seems * * When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams * * You might run into trouble if you go to extremes * * Because everything is not what it seems * * Everything is not what it seems * * When you can have what you want by the simplest of means * * Be careful not to mess with the balance of things * * Because everything is not * What it seems * So, I was thinking that we should help Stevie find her brother.
That is a very nice idea, Harper.
No, Alex came up with this one all on her own.
Then we should do it.
All right, now let's go look him up on the Wiznet.
Sorry, we can't.
It's over capacity.
Oh, that's it, we're done.
We tried.
OK, I know you're new to doing good deeds, but let me give you a piece of advice: When things get harder, you can keep trying.
It just feels more natural to quit, but, OK, let's keep rolling with it.
Alex, being older than you, I remember a time before the Wiznet, back when we had to use things like this.
A jack-in-the-box? OK.
Come on, Harper.
Let's go find Warren with his baby toys.
[clears throat.]
Locate: Warren Nichols.
[playing Pop Goes the Weasel .]
[squeaks, laughter.]
Warren Nichols of the wizard world.
Thank you very much, old buddy, and can I get an address, please? - Put me back in.
- Hey, you got it.
[clears throat.]
OK.
[plays Pop Goes the Weasel .]
Just tell us where he is! He's located at City Hall, Come on, let's go.
[whispers.]
Come on.
Ow! [wincing.]
Why is everything in the wizard world so confusing? That's what wizards say about the real world.
I didn't expect be one endless hallway.
just Dude, we're never gonna find Warren.
We don't even know which room he's in.
Hmm, well, we could've asked the jack-in-the-box if someone didn't get annoyed and break him! Hey! The guy has a name tag that says "Warren.
" Maybe he knows where Warren is.
People with the same names, they tend to keep tabs on each other.
Little Harper Adams, she got her tonsils out last week.
Oh, she's adorable.
Excuse me, hi.
YWarren Nichols, would you? Uh, let me check.
Mmm Yep.
That's me.
Hello.
We've been looking everywhere for you.
We're friends with your sister Stevie.
You guys know Well, where is she? Is she here with you? Huh? Stevie! No, no, no! No, no.
No.
She She didn't come with us.
She doesn't even know we're here.
You guys need to get her back here.
Stevie skipped town in the wizard competition, right in the middle of Powers Ceremony.
Is this where that happens? Oh, no.
Uh, not out here, in here.
- That door! - [gasps.]
[electricity crackling.]
Ah.
So this is where I'll go when I win my powers.
Ooh! Outlets in the ceiling.
I like it! So let me get this straight: She bailed on you in the middle of the transfer? Then that means you're stuck here until she gets back to finish the ceremony.
Yes! She's evil! - I knew it! - Wait, wait, wait.
We've heard two different stories here.
Well, maybe Warren is lying.
Let's see if he can stand up to one of my uncomfortable stares.
[groans.]
Yep, he's a liar.
Quick! Quick, he fainted.
Someone give me a pen.
I love drawing mustaches on people who can't stop me.
Uh, no, it makes sense.
He won, and a disgruntled trying to wreck it for him.
I'm seeing my future in the present.
Stevie is my friend.
I'm sure she has for what's going on.
tion - [scoffs.]
-until proven guilty.
t Come on, Harper, let's go find Stevie.
[gasps.]
I bet you he has a pen on him.
Alex! Stop that.
It looks illegal.
Oh! The hour of victory is near, my followers.
[gasps.]
Very soon we'll have enough wizards signed up - to start the revolution! - [cheering.]
It's locked.
The door doesn't even have a lock.
Someone must have with a broomstick.
inside No, that doesn't make much sense because this is the only broom here and it doesn't even have a handle, so Oh, OK, I'm caught up now.
[Stevie.]
their powers again.
[cheering.]
If I get enough wizards who are behind in their family wizard competition to perform a spell at the same time, oh, it will melt down in the Hall of Transfers.
Then, no wizard will their powers again.
p [cheering.]
Oh! I knew it! Stevie was using you for our lair so she could start a revolution.
Stevie is evil! Yeah, I can see how you might feel right about that.
I'm telling Dad.
How are we gonna tell Dad? We can't even get in.
Stevie! Stevie! Stevie, Stevie, open up the door.
I have something to tell my father.
Hey, is it true that you bailed on your brother in the middle of the competition? Did you just see any of that? Yeah, the whole bit about the holograms and the revolution and the bad stuff, yeah.
But I'm sure you have a very logical explanation, so just open the door and you can explain it to us.
You want an explanation? Here it is: Warren won.
- [grunts.]
to give up my powers.
OK, it's not fair gets to keep their powers.
Evil! It's in the eyes! Look at her! It's evil! Hey, if my plan works, there will be no more wizard competition.
I just need a few more wizards who have no chance of winning their famito join me,ompetition so we can keep our powers forever.
You can forget about that, Stevie.
You're never gonna convince Alex to join your stupid revolution.
Right, Alex? Right, Alex? Alex! Well, I gotta admit it does sound kind of interesting.
What?! Fortunado amontillado.
- [Justin groans.]
- [Harper.]
Alex! [Justin.]
Alex, let us in! Come on, Alex.
The odds of you beating Justin are very slim.
With my plan, your powers are guaranteed.
Are you in? [Justin and Harper shouting.]
I'm in.
- Seriously, let us in! - Let us in! Alex! She's not answering.
I knew Alex was bad, but not this bad.
I still have complete faith in her.
She always does before she thinks and when she thinks, she undoes, and blames it on somebody else.
But this is serious.
I can't just sit around to change her mind.
I've gotta get in there.
- Whoa! - [spell ricochets.]
Something's wrong.
[grunts.]
Bricks made of plastic! The natural enemy of magic.
What are we gonna do now? You wanna kiss a little bit? Come again? You know, a little smoochy-smooch.
I won't tell anyone.
Alex is about to join a revolution to overtake the entire wizard world, and you're asking me to kiss? Sure.
I mean, we all know thing in the end anyway.
I don't think so.
[mimicking phone dialing.]
[clears throat.]
Yes, hello, to this wand location.
Terrific.
of Kung Pao dragon and make sure to include fortune cookies.
Thank you.
Yes, you have a good day.
OK.
You're ordering Chinese food? Wizard fortune cookies givinto the future and I'm gonna show you that Alex is evil.
[sighs.]
Now look, I'm gonna tell people we kissed anyway.
So don't make me a liar.
Let's just kiss a little bit.
It's real No! [keyboard clicking.]
Wow, you got a lot of people onboard, Stevie.
I think this plan can actually work.
I knew when we met keep your powers, like me.
And I knew there was something I liked about you, but this? This is genius.
- [sighs.]
- role model.
new - [beeping.]
- Please, Alex.
I'm sure this is something come up with yourself.
lly Yeah, no, that's true, I take it back.
I'm my own role model again.
Now we just need to find one more wizard, and we'll have enough power to overload the distributor.
If only there was totally manipulate.
ld Hello, Laverne.
Oh, what are you guys doing in here? Nothing, Max.
Your sister and I are planning something I think you may be interested in: a wizard revolution.
I don't know about that.
Spinning makes me throw up.
We're talking about doing something that could let us keep our powers forever.
We just need one more wizard to help.
Powers and forever, two of my favorite words.
But "pie" and "filankee" are still up there.
Yeah, yeah, I know "filankee" is not a word, but it's gonna catch on.
Just be ready to cast a spell when we tell you to.
All right, yeah, I'm in.
Under one condition: after the revolution, you guys make me king of the wizard world, where I will eliminate spinning forever.
- What?! - Just play along.
Uh, you know, you got it, Max.
You got it.
Why don't you go upstairs and, uh, make a list of all the things you want as king.
Sweet! Thanks, guys.
- Thank you.
- [bicycle bell rings.]
You're wasting your money, Justin.
You're gonna see goes down the wrong path but she always does the right thing in the end.
Then let's take a little look at the end, shall we? [cookie cracks.]
You can't stand up against 5,000 wizards who want to be wizards forever.
[Harper.]
You're not really gonna do this, are you, Alex? Yes, Harper, I am.
I hope that when this is over we can still be friends.
There.
Do you need any more proof? I don't believe in fortune cookies, except for this one that I got that said, "People are talking behind your back.
" And then when I turned around, they were.
But Alex is gonna come to her senses, I know it.
That's not a bet I'm willing to take.
The wizard world has only one hope, and his name is Justin Vincenzo Pepe Russo.
We need to get back to City Hall.
Fine, but I'm taking fortune cookies.
e I know at least one of them shows us kissing.
[groans.]
A car with root beer kegs for wheels.
What are you writing, Max? Just a list of demands for when I become king after the wizard revolution.
Oh, I get it.
It's for a creative writing class.
Let me see what you got so far.
"As king, I shall be served pudding for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
" Jealous yet? I do that now.
Hey, Alex, I think that you'll be glad to know as king, I've decided to let you all keep your feet.
Thanks, Max.
Hey, Stevie, to the Hall of Transfers and get a picture when it all goes down? I like the way you think, Russo.
Max, why don't you come wtake our picture.
I do love pressing buttons.
Yeah, I'll go.
Carry me to the Hall of Transfers.
I'm the king.
You know, this would be a lot more difficult without feet.
OK, so we're here, and there's one very important thing missing: Alex.
This looks nothing like your stupid fortune cookie.
[groans.]
Now that looks something like your stupid fortune cookie.
Harper, Justin, what are you guys doing here? You're not supposed to be here.
Yeah.
You guys are supposed to be building my king chair.
If you're not gonna you're gonna lose 'em.
You're not gonna get away with this.
I mean, I might miss it 'cause I fainted but you're not gonna get away with this.
Hello, Warren.
Long time, no see.
And we are going to get away with this.
You can't stand up against 5,000 wizards who want to be wizards forever.
You can forget about your stupid revolution, Stevie, because we've thought you'll never defeat.
Say hello to our little surge protector! Hello, surge protector.
Goodbye, surge protector.
I always forget about other people with wands.
Alex, you're not really gonna do this, are you? Yes, Harper, I am.
I hope that when this is over we can still be friends.
Stevie, let me get next to the power source.
We can use that to make our revolution flag.
Max, will you take our picture? Count to three and press this button right here.
Now that's one fun-looking button.
Come on, there's gotta be something we could do.
Uh I know! Let's tilt this thing over.
- Yeah.
OK.
- Come on.
[both grunting.]
Yikes! Darn these smooth-soled shoes! Keep this away from your sister.
But What, a pen? All right.
One, two Wait! Wait, wait, OK.
OK, Stevie, put your hand on the power source as if you were about to give up your powers.
[laughs.]
Hilarious.
[electricity crackling.]
[Max.]
Say cheese! And [gasps.]
Quick! the transfer button.
This is worse than I thought! take all the powers for herself.
- Justin! - Oh, my gosh, I get it now.
Our sister is truly evil.
[stammers.]
And it's nit's evil evil.
l, Dad said if this ever happens change our names.
Run, Giuseppe, run! No! We have to stop Alex from pressing the button.
You guys don't get it.
She froze Stevie so Warren could get his full powers.
She's on our side.
- Finally.
- Harper! She just disobeyed the king! I said no button pushing.
Give me your feet.
- [bell rings.]
Power transfer complete.
I'm a full wizard! This is everything that I ever wanted, plus a visor! Alex, what changed your mind? Nothing changed my mind.
I set this whole thing up that Stevie was evil.
lized I knew it! Just as I planned, another Russo victory.
- Yes.
- Uh-uh! Hold on.
You can't claim Russo victory.
You thought I was actually gonna go through with this.
How dare you! And you! How dare you think I'd make you king.
I'm not king? Aw, man! Only Harper eventually figured it out.
No, I believed in you the whole time.
Seriously? Yeah.
Yeah, she did.
See? This just proves my theory.
- People outside of the Russos are better.
- Uh-huh.
Ow! She's so cold.
[chuckling.]
- [hollow clang.]
- [cracking.]
Oh! Now that's a nice brother/sister moment.
We should go celebrate at the Wizard County Fair.
- Yeah, I'll drive.
- Oh, sorry.
It's Only People Who Believed in Alex Day.
Come on, Harper.
Well, I, uh, guess there's only one thing left to do: draw a mustache on him.
I told him I wouldn't give it to Alex.
Sorry things didn't work out with you and your friend.
Oh, that's OK.
Sometimes people aren't who they seem to be, but I'll always have my Harper.
Yeah.
And sometimes things are exactly what they seem to be.
Like a bearded lady.
[grunts.]
* I got me some pudding for dinner * Are you jealous? A bearded lady? Oh, man! Trade ya.
Take a walk, pudding face.

Previous EpisodeNext Episode