Zorro (1957) s02e10 Episode Script

The Practical Joker

: Out of the night When the full moon ls bright Comes the horseman Known as Zorro This bold renegade Carves a Z with his blade A Z that stands for Zorro Zorro The fox so cunning and free Zorro Who makes the sign of the Z Zorro The fox so cunning and free Zorro Who makes the sign of the Z Zorro, Zorro Zorro, Zorro Zorro Not a sound, senor.
This is a knife in your back.
You're making a mistake, senor.
I have no money.
- Your name is Diego de Ia Vega? - Sß.
Then there is no mistake, senor.
- Make your peace.
- I know your voice.
Prepare to die.
Wait a minute, Diego.
It's me, Ricardo deI Amo.
- Ricardo.
What in the worId are--? - It's me.
- WiII you pIease get off my arm? - I ought to be on your head.
Ricardo deI Amo, up to your oId tricks again, eh? ''Prepare to die.
'' I thought I recognized your voice.
- Scared you, didn't I? - Yes, I thought I'd have to kiII you.
What are you doing in Monterey? They run you out of San Francisco? That, my friend, is a Iong and fascinating story.
- WeII, your stories usuaIIy are.
- WeII-- - No.
- Ah.
But teII me.
You Iie so weII.
That is one of my better accompIishments.
I'm staying with my cousin at the beach.
Come back with me.
We can taIk whiIe I cIean up.
I have a room here at the inn.
- You can use that.
- Bueno.
Bueno.
Whoop.
Forgot my knife.
You never can teII, I might meet another oId friend.
One of these days, those practicaI jokes of yours wiII buy you some reaI troubIe.
Diego, you couIdn't be more wrong.
Leaving San Francisco was the best thing that ever happened to me.
- I can imagine.
- No, you can't imagine.
- Uh, how do I thank him? - Uh, just nod.
You see, coming down here on the stage, I met a senorita.
I'II amend that.
The senorita.
Diego, what a beautifuI woman.
Skin Iike miIk and just enough of it.
And her hair is as bIack as the night.
And her eyes - Oh, her eyes.
- I hope she had two of them.
I'm serious.
Like two crystaI pooIs in the moonIight.
Her disposition, honey, seasoned with spice.
You found aII this in one senorita? - Ah, sß.
- And she's here in Monterey? - She Iives here.
- WeII, that's very strange.
I've been here for some time, and I have not run across any such fabuIous beauty.
Of course, uh, you couIdn't be exaggerating, couId you? On my grandfather's grave.
But you shaII see for yourseIf tonight.
I am going to serenade her.
DIEGO: Oh, take my guitar.
- No, mine's on my horse.
- This is for you.
- For me? - You're coming with me.
- But why? - Diego, I'm in Iove.
- WeII, you certainIy don't need me, then.
- WeII, you see, she has an uncIe.
- Oh, you, uh You want me to serenade the uncIe, huh? WeII, you see, he probabIy won't be there, but if he is, weII, you're so weII educated, so weII traveIed-- AII right, aII right, aII right, I'II go with you.
- On one condition.
- Anything you say.
- PIease, don't teII anyone you know me.
- Why? WeII, peopIe in Monterey, they-- They Iike me.
Diego, her room is up there.
Now, remember, if her uncIe isn't home, say buenas noches and Ieave.
AII right.
BOTH: They sing of la gaviota The snow white guII That gIides over The summer seas And my own true Iove Is Iike la gaviota Like a guII in fIight She dances gracefuIIy FIy, gaviota, fIy Dance, senorita, dance Gypsy spirits Both so wiId and free Yes, my own true Iove Is Iike la gaviota Like a guII in fIight She dances gracefuIIy FIy, gaviota, fIy Yes, my own true Iove Is Iike la gaviota Like a guII in fIight She dances gracefuIIy WeII, you didn't make a very good first impression, did you? - You never once toId me her name.
- WouId that have made any difference? - Ah.
- Your pardon, senores, but the Senorita Verdugo asks that you come into the sala.
WeII, Don Diego, it's been a great pIeasure.
We must get together again sometime.
The senorita did say both of us, didn't she? Sß, senor.
Oh, weII, she was just being poIite.
Ha, ha.
Remember the uncIe.
Oh, Ricardo, your song was IoveIy.
It made me very happy.
Then you have made me very happy.
Anna Maria, may I present my friend Senor de Ia Vega, who cannot stay very Iong? Diego, what a pIeasant surprise.
You surprised me too.
I had no idea you returned.
ANNA MARIA: I arrived this morning.
- You two know each other? What happened? Why didn't you write? Nothing happened, and I did write.
You'II probabIy receive a Ietter tomorrow.
Father's safeIy on his way to Spain.
I decided not to go with him and came back home.
I guess you do.
- This isn't home.
- No.
I'm giving the servants a few days to cIean the house, and I'm staying here with my uncIe and cousin MiIana.
A IoveIy girI, Diego.
You two wouId go very weII together.
Do you know her? No, but any reIative of yours must be beautifuI, Anna Maria.
Gracias, Ricardo.
WouId you care to sit down? - Now, isn't this more comfortabIe? - Much more.
Anna Maria, is your, uh--? Is your uncIe at home? No, he and MiIana went out to dinner.
Did you wish to speak to him? - Oh, no, no.
I don't.
Uh, he does.
- Oh, do you? - WeII, I-- - Yes, that's the reason he came.
He said to me, ''Ricardo, if her uncIe isn't there, I'm going to Ieave immediateIy.
'' Did you say that, Diego? WeII, I didn't know you were going to be here.
He deIiberateIy didn't mention any names.
So the serenade was just for any girI who happened to be on the baIcony? WeII, that's Diego for you.
You know, once in Los AngeIes, I tracked him 1 7 miIes, foIIowing a traiI of broken hearts that he Ieft behind.
I don't beIieve that.
Why, you're not a Iadies' man, are you, Diego? WeII, when you have known Senor deI Amo a IittIe Ionger-- Uh, I amend that.
When you've had the misfortune to know Senor deI Amo a IittIe Ionger, you wiII Iearn that you must take everything he says with a grain of saIt.
AII the way from San Francisco, he kept teIIing me how IoveIy he thought I was.
- Do you mean to say he was Iying? - Now, try and get out of that one.
Ah.
AII right.
I surrender.
I am happy to see you back in Monterey.
But I'm very sorry to find that you did not come back aIone.
WeII, buenas noches, Ricardo.
I'm sorry you have such a Iong ride ahead of you.
- My cousin doesn't Iive that far.
- That's too bad.
You know, I was thinking, Diego, about the three of us riding in the morning.
After aII, you're here in Monterey on business.
I wouIdn't Iike to think you were negIecting it.
- WeII, that's very considerate of you.
- Not at aII.
What wouId you Iike me to teII Anna Maria? I'II teII her myseIf as we ride together in the morning.
Good night.
Ha! You can't imagine it, Bernardo.
I Iooked up at the baIcony, and there she was.
Did I teII you how beautifuI she was? She was as IoveIy as ever.
Yes, I have a feeIing that our stay in Monterey is going to be very pIeasant.
Come in.
Buenas noches, Don Diego.
DIEGO: Ah, sergeant, I'm gIad to see you.
I'm sorry to have disturbed you at such a Iate hour, Don Diego.
You weren't disturbing me.
I couIdn't sIeep.
Sit down, sit down.
Gracias, but no.
Sergeant, I want to teII you about a marveIous surprise I had tonight.
I am afraid you have one more surprise coming, Don Diego.
Oh? Uh, I have some unpIeasant news for you, Don Diego.
- Oh? - Sß.
You are under arrest.
What did you say? I am sorry, Don Diego, but you are under arrest.
- WiII you come with me now, pIease? - WeII, am I a criminaI? Oh, no, Don Diego, of course not.
OnIy a horse thief.
WeII, that's very funny, sergeant, but you know the de Ia Vega hacienda has a hundred horses in Los AngeIes.
The charge is that you have one extra one here in Monterey.
- A pinto.
- You're serious.
- Sß, Don Diego.
Senor Caesar.
- Senor who? Senor Caesar, the man whose horse you stoIe.
I mean, the man who says you took his horse.
- He's waiting at the garrison now.
- WeII, Iet's go.
I want to hear Senor Caesar caII me a horse thief to my face.
Gracias, Don Diego.
I think that wouId be best.
Come on.
There he goes.
That is the one.
Do you think we wiII need any more heIp? We can handIe him.
Just don't arouse any suspicion untiI we get out of town.
- AII right, where is Senor Caesar? - I do not see him, Don Diego.
- Oh, CorporaI Reyes.
- Uh, sß, sergeant? I do not see Senor Caesar.
He's not here, sergeant.
- That's why you don't see him.
- Oh.
- Thank you, corporaI.
- You're weIcome, sergeant.
Baboso, come back here.
Now, where is he? Oh.
He had to step out for a minute.
He said for you to wait for him.
Why, this is ridicuIous.
You know where to find me.
Don Diego, pIease, you must remain here.
I am under orders.
You are stiII under arrest.
Ah, Bernardo.
Oh.
Of course, IittIe one.
Buenos dßas, Don Diego.
Did you sIeep weII? If you haven't come here to Iet me out, don't taIk to me.
The IittIe one, he brought you a nice breakfast.
You eat it.
Gracias.
No, I couId not do that, Don Diego.
It is yours.
I don't want it.
Now, are you going to Iet me out or not? You are my best friend, Don Diego, but Look, I am a horse thief.
Now, how can I be your friend? - PIease, I know you are not a horse thief.
- WeII, then why don't you Iet me out? Eat your breakfast.
It wiII make you feeI better.
WeII, if he wiII not eat it, IittIe one, he wiII not eat it.
Uh, Iet's see what you brought him, eh? Heh-heh.
A sausage.
I have never seen a sausage so Iarge.
Heh.
Are you sure you don't want it, Don Diego? Take it and stuff yourseIf.
Eh.
It wouId be a shame to Iet such a fine sausage go to waste, eh? Aah! WeII, I'm gIad something amuses you, sergeant.
The IittIe one, he put a fiIe in your sausage.
- At Ieast he was trying to heIp me.
- Ah I wouId Iike to heIp you too, Don Diego, but my hands are tied.
There is a formaI compIaint.
Here, you can see for yourseIf.
- It is signed ''JuIius Caesar.
'' - JuIius Caesar? - Ricardo.
- Oh, no, Don Diego.
JuIius Caesar.
The signature is quite pIain.
Oh, sergeant, can't you see this is a joke? - A stupid practicaI joke? - It is? JuIius Caesar was a Roman generaI.
What is he doing here in CaIifornia? And without his uniform? - He's not here.
He's dead.
- He Iooked aII right to me, Don Diego.
- You must be mistaken.
- Sergeant, are you going--? I suppose that this must be the pIace where they keep the criminaIs.
- Here is Senor Caesar now.
- Diego.
Now, now, don't get too cIose.
He might be dangerous.
Listen, deI Amo, you get me out of here and then you start running.
- What has happened, Diego? - PIease, Don Diego, do not get excited.
Who's excited? I'II just kiII him with my bare hands.
- Very caImIy, of course.
- But why, Diego? Why are you here? WeII, haven't you heard? I'm a horse thief.
- Senor Caesar-- - Caesar? - Uh, JuIius Caesar.
- Sergeant, why? Now, teII me, why have you Iocked up my oId friend Don Diego? WeII, you yourseIf signed the compIaint, Senor Caesar.
- Nonsense.
- Your pardon, senor, but you did.
Oh, yes, yes, I signed this document.
But the Diego de Ia Vega who is a horse thief is a much taIIer man, by at Ieast 6 inches.
Sergeant, I think I am beginning to understand.
- Ricardo, this isn't very nice.
- Oh, weII, I thought it was very funny.
Funny, eh? WeII, just wait tiII I get out of here.
I'm sorry, Diego.
But you Iook so indignant.
AII right, aII right.
I'm beaten.
But get me out of here, wiII you? Lancer, unIock the ceII door.
You won't stiII harm Senor Caesar, wiII you? No, I'II, uh I'II just, uh, cut him a IittIe around the throat.
- Use my knife.
I deserve it.
- Put that knife away, you idiot.
- Thanks for your hospitaIity, sergeant.
- Anytime at aII, Don Diego.
I mean, uh, adiüs, Don Diego.
You know what I mean.
- Senor Caesar, as for you-- - Adiüs for me too, sergeant? - My friends are waiting.
- WeII, this time.
But I warn you, in the future, do not use the king's soIdiers for one of your jokes.
- I promise, sergeant.
- For what it's worth.
I have more to say to you, senor, but today is the day I must deIiver the payroII to the southern presidios.
Adiüs, Senorita Verdugo.
- Don Diego.
Senor.
- Senor.
Go.
ANNA MARIA: Diego, is something the matter? No, no, no.
There's stiII time to go riding.
WhiIe you go change your cIothes, you go get his horse.
- Me? - You heard me.
Whoa.
Whoa.
That Army payroII wiII be 10,000 pesos if it is 1 .
LARIOS: Are you sure we can do it? PEREZ: EasiIy.
They never send more than two soIdiers with it.
We wiII just wait untiI they get far enough out of Monterey.
Come on.
- Sergeant Garcia.
- Senor Caesar.
Quiet, corporaI, quiet.
Who do you want me to arrest now? Sergeant Garcia, you are going to be heId up.
- HeId up? - Yes, I overheard two men taIking.
They're going to try to rob you of the payroII.
- What men? - I don't know.
- But you'd better be on your guard.
- Oh, I wiII, Senor Caesar.
No, no, no, that is aII a joke.
My name is Ricardo deI Amo.
WeII, thank you for teIIing me, Don Ricardo.
Not at aII.
Now, you wiII take care of everything? Oh, everything.
Adiüs, and gracias again.
Por nada.
CorporaI.
Where do you think you are going? - To teII the comandante about the hoId-up.
- What hoId-up? He just toId you.
Didn't you Iisten? Don Ricardo was just pIaying a joke on us.
- He was? - Of course.
And I do not intend to become the victim of any more of his practicaI jokes.
- Are you stiII riding with us, Ricardo? - Ha, ha.
He's behaved himseIf.
In fact, he's been quite sweet.
WeII, that's when he's the most dangerous.
- Eh.
Everything seems to be aII right.
- WeII, I didn't have time.
What is it now, Diego? Uh, you ride on ahead.
I'II catch up with you Iater.
AII right.
Don't hurry on my account.
What's wrong? Yes, I know.
Sergeant Garcia's deIivering the payroII today.
No, he doesn't need Zorro's heIp.
Somebody's coming.
Let's get the horses.
Sergeant, your back makes an exceIIent target.
- Sergeant.
- Yes, corporaI? Let's go back to Los AngeIes.
WeII, what happened? We were heId up, Don Ricardo, just as you said.
- Are you aII right? - Sß, senorita.
- WeII, did they take the money? - Every peso.
WeII, what about the other soIdiers? I toId you, sergeant.
PIease, Don Ricardo, signaI to your men to bring the payroII back, eh? - What are you taIking about? - Pfft, a joke is a joke, senor.
This was not one of my jokes, beIieve me, sergeant.
You were heId up.
We were? Heh-heh.
- We were.
- There they go, sergeant.
Anna Maria, you stay here.
- Look, senorita.
- Zorro.
Quick, corporaI.
Go chase our horses.
They've aIready run away.
Where shaII I chase them to now? Chase them from where they are back to where we are, stupid.
Senorita.
Senorita.
- Are you aII right, Ricardo? - I'm fine, Anna Maria.
It is good to see you again, Senor Zorro.
I'm fIattered that you remember me, senorita.
Uh, may I present Senor deI Amo, a friend? Ricardo, this is el Zorro, aIso a friend.
Your pardon, senorita, but I must Ieave.
Sergeant Garcia wiII soon be here, and, weII, we've had our differences.
I understand.
But my horse seems to have run away, Senor Zorro.
CouId you take me back to the hacienda? Anna Maria, I wouId be gIad to take you home.
But the bandidos.
You must stay here untiI Sergeant Garcia arrives.
- Do you mind? - I wouId be deIighted, senorita.
I'II see you tonight.
Adiüs, senor.
It's been very nice to meet you.
We shaII meet again, senor.
: Zorro, Zorro NARRATOR: Next week, a bold imposter masquerades as Zorro.
Diego, that can't be Zorro.
Do not move, Senor Zorro.
Don Diego, you were right.
I have captured Zorro.
An innocent prank backfires and sends and innocent man to the gallows.
Sergeant, you wiII have the gaIIows erected immediateIy.
Spring the trap! Zorro! Explosive action, taut with suspense, next week, when the Walt Disney Studio presents ''The Flaming Arrow,'' another great adventure for you to share with Zorro.

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