12 Baes of Christmas (2024) Movie Script
1
Okay, Mr. Carr, I hear that.
Now, as always,
we ask every guest this question.
So what is Kevin Carr's
secret to success in Black love?
Hmm,
I'm gonna be honest with y'all,
I'm a high value man,
and I'm exercising all my options.
I'm not really thinking
about love right now,
but when I do find love,
I know it'll be with a Black woman.
Mm.
Let the church say amen.
Yeah.
Okay, well thank you, Mr. Kevin Carr,
newly retired NFL standout,
and now bestselling author.
We appreciate you for your time, bro.
Anytime, man.
Well, lovers, this has been a Black Love
and Liberation podcast, where-
- Black love
is a revolutionary act.
And we're your hosts, Simone Starr,
and the King Khalil,
your guide to love and life.
Yeah.
Happy holidays.
We'll see you guys next week.
Sweet.
Alright.
Thank you.
I got it.
Hey, Queen, I'm gonna
head to this meeting I told you about.
Okay.
And I'll see you at home tonight.
I'll be waiting for you, King.
Great show, babe,
the sponsors loved it.
And I'm not supposed to tell you this yet,
but we got three, count 'em,
three television networks
on a bidding war to get
your show on their airwaves.
You and Khalil are a hot ticket
Carmen, do not play with me like that.
I'm serious.
I'm setting up meetings all next week.
We should have a deal before Christmas.
This is what we've been waiting for.
Really?
Hey, so I wasn't eavesdropping
or anything, but someone
left their mic on, so,
TV show, really?
You're nosy, but yes, a TV show,
if we play our cards right,
and keep our numbers steady.
Oh, we got this.
I mean, she don't know
we the dream team so.
- They don't be knowing.
- Come on now.
See, Jabari and I started
a radio show back in college,
and we've been going crazy ever since.
We got this deal on lock.
I hope you're right.
They'll be watching the show
and your social media
over the next few weeks,
so, be on your Ps and Qs, okay?
Aye, aye Captain.
We about to hit it big.
Shit finally paying off.
Finally.
And, thank you, friend,
couldn't have done this without you.
I mean, we have the fan base and all,
but you're the only one that knows
how to work any of this camera stuff.
I appreciate you.
Well, you know I always got you.
Mm-hmm,
I know.
So, what we got today?
Right, work, let's do that.
- What's your?
- Don't worry about that.
They broke and they dusty,
and the only thing they do is cheat,
and go make more baby mamas.
Y'all can have the
and the Ray Rays.
I'm about to go get me a white daddy
that know how to treat me.
I'm tired of.
Ooh, child, you hurt and you bitter.
Hey Simone Starr, this your man?
Look at him, I took his whole soul.
Sorry, meeting ran a little long.
Just wanna give you all my time
Sleigh bells ringing when I slide
Charge me with love, I'll pay the fine
Only wanna be with you tonight
Good times
Girl, I love you
I knew something wasn't
right about that nigga.
Ain't nobody that damn happy, bro.
Out here talking that love
and life shit,
all the time he busting
down the local ranches.
Brought in the side chick,
might as well go ahead
and start a love and affairs channel.
They viral now.
Oh, and Simone Starr,
if you, if you need a,
need a shoulder to cry on, baby,
go ahead and call me with
your fine ass, I got you.
Girl, answer this damn phone.
Yeah, girl, you got like
12 more hours to grieve,
and we're pulling up.
I don't care, we're pulling up.
We worried about you, girl.
Call us back.
All my time, all my time
Sleigh bells ringing when I slide
Well known social media influencers
and relationship gurus Simone Starr
and Khalil King are
making headlines this week
after Khalil was caught with
his pants down literally.
The seemingly happy couple are in talks
to take their Black Love and
Liberation podcast to TV,
but now the fans are
asking "Was it all a lie?"
Simone, you're gonna have
to deal with this eventually,
and these networks aren't
gonna wait for you.
If we don't keep things moving,
we will lose this deal.
Call me back.
All I need is you, you
Bad for the loop
There ain't enough sage in the world
to ward off a fuck boy,
the forces with them strong,
and Simone Starr just
found out the hard way.
No pun intended.
Speaking of the hard way,
talk to me, I know y'all seen King Khalil
all over the internet with
his little side piece.
And, baby, that thing is thinging.
I know she grieving over the loss
of that egg plant.
Let us all pray for our
good sis Simone Starr.
We so sorry for your loss.
Chin up, sweetie.
Ima spoil you
Ima spoil you
Girl I love you, I adore you
Let me hold you, Ima spoil you
When we link up it's a happy holiday
Happy holiday
Okay, since y'all so
concerned with my mental health,
let me give you the drama
that you've been waiting on.
Yes, that was Khalil in the video.
No, I don't know the
raggedy hoe he was with.
No, we're not in an open relationship,
he's a fucking cheater, period.
Now let me address all you
gossip sites and trolls.
Y'all can politely kiss
both sides of this ass-
- Nuh-uh, nuh-uh, nuh-uh.
Girl, you are live looking crazy as hell.
Yeah, girl, you on crack head time,
and I ain't feeling that.
How'd y'all get in here?
Benny picked your lock.
But, girl, this ain't it.
Benny, you broke into my house?
Look, let's stay on topic.
You know these TV folks are watching you,
you can't be out here
crashing out like that.
Girl, you about to fumble the bag.
Right.
And how I'm gonna become
your personal assistant,
and marry Michael B. Jordan
if you don't become famous?
Don't make us all suffer,
that's just selfish.
Y'all, I'm really not here
for the jokes right now,
like for real.
Listen, but this is
why we're here, friend.
Three weeks is long enough.
Right.
You are allowed to lose yourself,
but only for a little while.
It's time to reactive the boss bitch.
I'm just trying not to
jump out the damn window.
Meanwhile Khalil's all on the internet
doing interviews about his dick print.
Why does he wanna humiliate me like this?
Girl, men ain't shit.
Hey.
And I know that you thought
that Khalil was different,
but once y'all little
clout started going up
he started feeling himself.
Facts.
That ego been growing like a tumor.
Look, this is all about respect.
You've been with Khalil
basically your entire adult life.
I mean, do you even know
who you are without him?
Maybe, follow me, maybe
this is the universe
giving you the space to find out
who you really are.
Who Simone is without
King Khalil, you know?
Find myself?
What does that even mean?
Girl, that means it's
time for Miss Simone Starr
to come back outside.
You know, in my personal opinion,
the best way to get over an ex
is to get on top of an ex.
I second that.
I think you should start dating.
Yes, mama.
You've been riding the same surfboard
for much too long.
And as we can see, it's
a community attraction.
Man, y'all know Khalil was my first.
I wouldn't even know
what to do with new man.
I've been out the game way too long.
Mm-mm, mm-mm, trust me, mama,
you bring home something
tall, dark and sexy,
and nature will take its course.
And will.
But you know what, maybe you need you
a good old fashioned hoe phase.
What?
Mm-hmm.
Nah, I'll pass.
Mm-mm, mm-mm, wait though.
Benny might be on to something.
I mean, it's a right of
passage into womanhood.
You turn 30 next year, right,
and you only been with one man.
It's time for you to
discover all the delicious
variety of men be on
the market these days.
And I rebuke the word hoe
in the name of Beyonce.
Men can sleep around,
but when we do it we hoes.
There's no such thing as a hoe phase.
There shouldn't be nothing wrong
with you exploring your
grown woman sexuality.
Reclaim your coochie.
It should be a source of pride, not shame.
And we're gonna start right here.
I just made you a profile
on Black Face Matchmaker.
A dating app?
Mm-mm, that ain't my style.
Girl, your style?
Girl, you ain't got no style,
you only been with Khalil.
And this is how the young
folks are courting nowadays,
right T?
Uh T?
Look at you.
Profile aint even been up five minutes,
and you already got connections.
Yeah, mama, you can thank me later.
I don't know about this, y'all.
What if I get kidnapped or something?
You know, all these true cop shows,
I could be getting caught
up on apps like that.
Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.
There's three basic
rules to online dating,
and you know I know 'em.
One, always FaceTime to
confirm their identity
because you know they
be catfishing, you know.
Two, if they become creepy,
you're not feeling it,
or they start asking you
for money, block 'em.
Three, always, always
meet in a public place.
Simple.
That little coffee shop down the street.
- Mm.
- Perfect.
Yes, mm-hmm.
Just meet up with all your men there,
and see how it goes.
Yeah.
Ooh, this gonna be
a transformative
experience for you, friend.
Oh, yes, bitch.
Christmas is 27 days away,
and you got enough time to cuff
you a little Christmas bae.
And Christmas bae means Christmas gifts.
And Christmas trips.
- And Christmas-
- Oh.
Ooh, you gonna have a
hot girl holiday, friend.
I don't know y'all,
I'd just, I'd just rather lay right here.
No boo, don't do that.
No, look here.
You got a connection already,
and damn, he is fine.
He look like the perfection distraction.
Yes, mama, what that song say?
Interesting fashion choices today, mama.
Carmen, you wanted me here so I'm here.
Simone, I'm not just your agent,
okay, I want you to
think of me as a friend.
And, as a friend, I'm worried about you.
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
Honestly, I'm tired of
everybody asking me.
I mean, what do you expect?
You completely gave in
to them internet trolls.
This isn't the Simone Starr
that me and your fans have grown
to love and know.
The Star we know would use this
as fuel to her, baby.
I just need a little
bit more time, okay?
Unfortunately time is the
one thing we don't have.
Jabari's been running filler
episodes for two weeks now.
Sponsors are getting worried,
and the networks are asking questions.
Look, what can I do for you?
Just tell me what you need.
Actually, you got a time machine?
Because I need to go back to 2012,
and unmeet Khalil.
That's the only thing that's
gonna make me okay right now.
Come on, Simone, give me something.
Carmen, how am I supposed to
go back to the show after this?
Everybody thinks I'm a fraud.
The relationship guru who lost
her man to some random thot?
It's over.
Over?
Simone, you have worked too
hard to give this all up.
You're at the cusp of your breakthrough.
You can and will get past this.
You sound just like Porsha and Benny.
What did they have to say?
Benny signed me up
for a match making app.
They seem to think that I need
to experience the dating world.
Actually, that may be a good idea.
What?
Not you too.
No, hear me out, okay?
The relationship guru on her
journey of self discovery
after a devastating breakup.
It would make for great
content, maybe even a book.
Carmen, this is my real life,
it's not for content purposes.
That's exactly what people wanna see,
Simone Starr real, raw and uncut.
This could be what we
need to lock in the deal.
Just, just think about it for me.
Fine, I'll think about it.
Okay.
Gonna set in some meetings.
You free tomorrow?
I haven't even walked out yet.
We're working.
Hello
I'm just trying to
call and talk to you
'Cause like I understand everything
No, no, no, listen
I know you got your thing going on
And I don't mean no harm
And it's no tea, no shade
But if we talking arms
I think you'd be better
with me than your old girl
But that's just my ego talking
Hard for me to just ignore
Kind of like those
mornings we gave each other
In the early morning
Conversations that kept
me up contemplating
Waiting for the time
that we could take
When it's right but I'm tired
Of trying to act like I'm fine
I'm fine when you pop
out with a new boo
So true
You can't front that look in your eye
Me and you was different
But it's like time just
ain't ever on our side
I ain't even gotta hit it
I get high when minds collide
I know I
Whoa, that's crazy.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
I'll never disrespect you like that.
I didn't realize how late it was.
Looks like we are the last ones here.
Oh yeah.
Can I, um, take you to your car?
Sure, yeah.
I know you feel I'm so played out
And so over reactive
I'm over zealous
This was so nice.
It was.
I hope I made a good impression
for your first time online dating.
Yeah, you definitely set the bar high.
So, can I call you later this week?
Yeah, I'd like that.
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
Would I be doing too much if I kiss you?
I guess that's okay.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
I'm sorry, it's just, it's
been a really long time
since I've been on a first date.
It's okay, I understand.
All right.
Okay.
Get home safe okay?
Thank you.
No problem.
Bye.
Okay, y'all, I'm officially
back outside.
A hoe phase?
You sure you wanna do that?
I mean, it's a little out of
character for you, aint it?
You gotta try new things
to get new results, right?
I'm tired of being a good girl.
It's time I reclaim my coochie.
What?
All right, okay, Starr, just be careful.
You know, it's real out
here in these streets.
It's all a part of my
journey of self discovery.
I never really dated.
I mean, I met Khalil and that was it.
I'm gonna go out with
every guy I connect with.
What's the harm in having some fun?
Yeah, well, you know a lots changed
since the 2010s when
you was outside, right?
And that's exactly
why I need to do this.
I need to get into my modern woman era.
Ready to get the show on the road?
Yeah, let's get it.
And, we're rolling.
Starr, I'm rolling.
Hey, lovers, welcome to the
Black Love and Liberation podcast,
where Black love is a revolutionary act.
You know what, let me tell
you something about love.
Love will take you to
your highest heights,
and then drop your ass like a bad habit.
Love is bullshit.
Ladies, I'm embarking on a new journey
of self discovery, mm-hmm.
That's right, I'm freeing
myself from the chains
of toxic masculinity,
and reclaiming my time.
I gave that man every piece of me,
and it still wasn't enough.
He wanted to go run the
streets with the dusties
when he had all this
love and light at home.
You know what, maybe JazzyonGo was right.
Maybe the Black woman needs to divest
'cause the Black man just
ain't cutting the mustard.
Maybe the Passport Bros
are on to something.
Mm-hmm.
Jabari, what are you doing?
I wasn't done.
Are you sure you're good Starr?
I'm just fine.
Now start the shit back up.
Carmen said the sponsors are pissed,
they wanna meet.
Whatever.
Yo, let's just slow down
Sit back, relax and
have a glass of wine
To be honest, it's been a minute
Since we had some time to talk
I know you're working
And you're busy at your job
True
And I've been busy
Trying to make a
living from these songs
Hey, Simone?
Hey, yeah.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
Watch the snow pile up
from the window inside
Put some wood on the furnace
Let the temperature rise
Secret Santa
I know you said no gifts but I lied
I can't tell you what it is yet
'Cause it's a surprise
Can't describe the feeling
When I'm looking into your eyes
About to light some candles
Then throw on some Barry White
Hit the lights
I feel lucky just to call you my wife
And this Christmas I'm just thankful
You're a part of my life
Ooh baby
Baby
What you say we take a couple days off
Rent a room for two
Just to get away from it all
Ooh baby
Baby
Oh, but we can work past that.
You can work with
that all the time, girl.
Mm-mm.
Aww, friends, I love
our tree trimming parties.
- Yeah.
- That star a little crooked
though Bari.
Hey, Benny, either help out or shut up.
Rude.
Anyways, so friend, how did that date
with that pretty boy personal trainer go?
Girl, I don't think
I should kiss and tell.
Oh no, don't do that,
I need all of it play by play.
Okay, but y'all can't judge though.
Girl, please.
Spill.
Okay.
So, he's all into fitness or whatever,
so we went to a yoga class.
Working out on a date?
I'll pass.
Yeah, girl, he broke.
No, it was cute,
and kind of sexy.
He was helping me with my poses,
and he was stretching me out.
Okay, get to the good part.
Did you hunch on the man or not?
Yeah.
Things got a little spicy after the class.
He said he could tell
I haven't had a good stretch in a while.
I don't know what came over me,
it was like he was looking
good, smelling even better.
I just decided to go with
the flow and kissed him.
Making the first move?
Okay, friend.
I know that, mama.
So, uh, did y'all hunch in the car?
Benny, calm down, I am not a hoe.
We went to his condo.
And then things got a little weird.
You like that baby?
Yeah, I like that baby.
Yeah.
You like that baby?
Yeah, you're sexy.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, you wanna be on my Love My Fans page?
Stop the cab.
That man was not making
love to his reflection.
Yes, ma'am, he was.
It was way too much for me.
Girl, I just pretended I had a cramp,
and ran up out of there.
Girl, you need to post a
whole story time about this one.
I would like to make
a toast to my friend
for finally transitioning
into true womanhood.
Cheers to a hot girl holiday.
Cheers.
Okay, hater.
Okay, so, anyway, let's see who's next.
Oh, this one right here, Mr. Big and Bald.
Ooh, yeah.
Oh hell no, he just got out of prison.
Perfect.
What?
Y'all know what?
Bow, bow, bow, bow.
Santa got some niggas under the tree
Thanks for helping me clean up.
You know Benny and Porsha
are allergic to chores.
I was Benny's roommate junior year,
trust me, I know all too well.
Hey, Starr, I'm not trying
to be in your business
or anything,
and, you know, not hating
or nothing like that,
but I don't think this
whole matchmaking thing
is such a good idea.
Bari, you're such an old man.
Millions of people are
online dating every day.
It's totally normal.
You know, I'm saying though,
you've never been the type
to have casual sex.
Are you sure that's what you want?
I'm sure that what I do with my vagina
is none of your business.
Look, Starr, you're my friend,
and if I'm worried about you
I'm gonna speak on it.
I love you, Bari,
and I appreciate your concern,
but I'm gonna be just fine.
I promise.
If you say so.
On another note, are you ready
for that Brunch Ladies interview tomorrow?
Oh, you know I stay ready.
All right.
Well, call me if you need anything, okay?
I'm gonna slide.
Okay.
Be safe.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, whoa, wait, wait.
All right, so, let's just
go ahead and get into it.
People wanna know, the
streets have been asking-
- Talking.
Was Simone Starr and
King Khalil all a lie?
Was it a lie, Simone?
Girl, did you scam us?
Ladies, I assure you,
what me and Khalil had was real,
at least it was for me.
Well, okay, so we did
see your little video.
I think everybody say that little rant
that you went on on live.
I mean, to me it's kind of sounding like
your whole views on love have
all changed a little bit.
Yeah, boo, you is on your feminism vibe,
and that's a lot different
when everybody used to call you a pick me.
My views have changed
a lot, a whole 180.
I had an epiphany.
Mmhmm.
Love is a myth.
Okay.
Talk to us, talk to us.
It's like Santa Claus
and the Easter Bunny.
- Okay.
- Okay.
It's a fantasy sold to you by the media
and corporate America
to distract you from
your true self purpose.
Right now, Simone Starr is
just working on herself.
We gonna cheers to that, okay.
Ooh, that was intense.
Girl, you know it's been a long time.
I could tell.
I didn't hurt you did it?
No, it ain't hurt,
but I'm definitely gonna be sore.
We worked up an appetite,
wanna go grab some lunch?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I think I'm a little hungry myself.
So, you were in prison for eight years?
That's a long time.
More like 50 years.
I'm just glad to be out here
getting a second chance.
Let the church say amen.
I know you're happy to be out.
Amen to that.
I'm telling you.
James?
James, is that you?
Oh, so you gonna act like
you don't know a bitch now?
See, when we was in lockup
you knew me real good.
Hey, sis, you sure look cute.
Nuh-uh, you, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.
James, you gonna act
like you don't know me?
Yeah, Jabari, why you blowing me up?
Hey, Carmen said she's
been trying to call you.
The sponsors want to meet ASAP.
Yeah, I was busy.
Just tell her to set it up.
Nah, they wanna meet now.
Right now?
Right now.
Meet me at Carmen's office.
Ugh, damn.
All right, I'm coming.
Hi ladies, I'm sorry
I'm late, I apologize.
All right, well, we'll just go ahead
and get started as to not waste
anymore of your precious time.
Simone, our sponsors
here have some concerns
about last week's show,
and your recent interview
on Brunch Ladies.
Simone, you know me and my mother
have always supported
you and your message.
We were elated to work with you and Khalil
in helping to bring a Black love movement
to the forefront.
But after last week's rant
we're just not sure we're
all on the same page anymore.
We wanted to advertise our brand
on a platform that was in support
of building Black families.
If this is the new direction of the show,
we'll have to reevaluate our partnership.
Okay, look, ladies, I know
I spazzed out last week,
but I'm completely over it.
Okay, I had time to
grieve the relationship,
and, um, I can assure you
that everything will be
back to normal this week.
This TV deal could take
our brand to the next level.
We need you on top of your game.
Yes, we're working on that.
Thank you ladies for your time.
We'll be in touch.
So what about Khalil?
My grieve is high value men
who are not really interested
in feminist ideals.
I honestly only partnered with the show
because of Khalil.
Without him, I don't see
my demographic tuning in.
So, in that case, what reason do we have
to continue business together?
With all due respect, this is my show,
we'll do just fine without Khalil.
We'll let the numbers prove that.
They will.
Thank you so much for coming.
We'll be in touch.
So, Nigerian bae seems promising.
Why you ain't?
I kind of don't wanna mess it up.
Besides, I like where we're at right now,
and, girl, he hasn't
even pressed the issue.
Ooh, gentleman.
I'm here for it.
But I ain't seen you since last week,
what happened to them other dudes
that you connected with?
You should have been on three
or four new di, dates, friend,
three or four new dates.
Girl, you nasty.
Anyway, I have been on a few more dates.
And you ain't tell me?
Spill the tea while it's still hot.
All right.
Well, girl, one of them,
we just at two completely,
totally different
places in our lives right now.
What you mean by that?
Girl, that man was old.
That man was old as hell, okay?
His profile picture was
at least 20 years old.
That man tried it.
I mean, he might not
have been Mr. Right,
but he could have been Mr. Sponsor, girl.
Porsche, I am not that needy
yet.
I ain't that needy yet.
Well, slide me daddy's number,
'cause he sound just my speed.
Anyway, couple of days later
I linked up with this Army dude.
We had a nice time talking.
He'd been all over the world.
Oh, Army dudes
be having a little check.
Well, he was nice and whatever,
but I think the man is
dealing with some PTSD issues.
Yeah, no.
I can't be dealing with
nobody else mental health
but my own.
Exactly.
Like get somebody else to do it.
Get somebody else to do it.
Um, this next guy,
girl, pretty sure he was a scammer.
Hey, look, hey, I think we got one.
Hey queen.
I see you shinning like the sun over here.
Let me ask you something.
You got a checking account?
Oh, he was about to steal your whole,
not half, but your whole identity.
Girl, I blocked his ass
while he was still sitting right there.
As you should have.
Now, the new guy, he
might have some potential.
He was on time, dressed to kill-
- Mm-hmm.
- Brought me a rose.
- Ooh.
- It was actually romantic.
I'm supposed to meet his
friends this weekend,
so we'll see.
See, friend, you can't tell
me that you're not having fun.
You were right.
It is a little liberating.
Ooh.
Girl, I don't even know
the last guy's real name.
I've never felt so free.
Mm.
And this how it feels when
you become your own woman,
not a woman that some man's
trying to groom you to be.
That part.
It was a little shaky at first,
but I'm trusting the process.
Ooh, to trusting the process.
Girl, you gonna toast to anything.
Don't forget, you gotta
take me to my interview
at the Casa Blanca because the bus
cannot get me there on time,
and I cannot reschedule this,
or miss it 'cause may be my only chance
to shake these tatas behind one of
the hottest bars in the city.
Tip me please.
Baller me please.
You know I got you, friend.
I've been having a lot of extra time
on my hands lately since
Khalil's hosting the show this week.
Any they gonna call you back.
They are.
Can I get some more?
Pour me up, please.
Well, you haven't
introduced us to a woman
in quite some time.
You must be a very special miss lady.
Well, I hope so.
Of course she's special.
I mean, it's gotta be a serious situation
to bring her around y'all fools.
You know I don't play like that.
- Mm-hmm.
- That's a fact,
that's a fact.
Well, I'm just glad you
decided to settle down, friend.
Remember last time when we were, um,
at Shay's dungeon party?
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, you were giving
that little black thing
to her, him, they and them now.
It was definitely a night.
I'll say that.
I'll say that.
Wait a minute, um, did
I just hear you say a him?
Yes, girl.
You know our good brother just
flows with the wind, honey.
Okay.
Can you guys excuse me really quickly?
Girl, he in trouble.
Hey, everything okay?
Was I hearing them correctly?
Were your friends just
telling me that you're gay?
No, I'm bisexual.
So, you're gay.
No, like I said, I'm bisexual.
I like both men and women.
So you're half gay?
Simone.
It's the 2020s, sexuality is fluid.
I'm sure you know all
about all types of fluid.
You know what, I'm just gonna head on out.
Wow.
So the oppressed becomes the oppressor.
Nice meeting you.
Tell your friends it was
good meeting them too, okay?
Okay, Miss Starr, I got you.
Hey, man, why all these girls in here
looking at you like that?
Bro, I don't know shit, bro.
I promise you it ain't me.
I knew when I seen that video
we was gonna have trouble in the gym.
Bro, I'm like Arby's my dude,
they only after the meat, my G.
Excuse me.
You Khalil from the BLL podcast show, huh?
Yeah, yeah, that's me.
I see you been causing a lot of trouble
on the internet, Mr. Khalil.
You know, I've been known
to be a trouble maker.
So, you're single, right?
Single, single.
Mm-hmm.
Come on man, let's finish up, man.
It's your set.
It's your go.
You go.
Man, I wish somebody would come to me
asking about the D.
Hey.
Hey, you're like an
hour early, what's up?
Well, I got some bad news,
figured I'd tell you in person.
Great, more bad news.
What is it now?
Just go ahead and rip the Band-Aid off.
Well, we lost two endorsements
due to last week's meltdown,
and sponsors have made their decision.
And?
What's up, y'all?
Jabari, what is he doing here?
That's what I was trying to tell you,
Khalil's contractually part of the show,
and the sponsors want him
to take over for a while.
They wanna do a series on why men cheat.
What?
No, mm-mm.
Let me call Carmen.
This is my show, Khalil.
Nah, it's our show, baby.
We signed this deal together as a couple.
I've been trying to
tell you what's going on,
but you seem more
concerned with them niggas
on Matchmaker than this podcast.
Matchmaker?
Snitch.
The app?
What you doing on a hook up site, Simone?
Same thing you were doing, Khalil,
hooking the fuck up.
Simone, that ain't even you.
And you are obvious
proof that people change.
Look, I ain't here to argue with you.
You know this TV deal
depends on both of us,
not just you.
And that's not gonna happen without me.
So regardless of your little feelings,
I'm not gonna let you mess this up.
Me mess this up?
Me?
This is all your fault, Khalil.
You couldn't even keep your
little pee pee in your pants
long enough to secure our future.
You and I both know ain't
nothing in my pants little.
You know-
- Okay, please, don't do this.
Khalil, fuck you.
Hey, hey, come on.
Damn, these women be crazy, huh?
Man, come on, man.
Fuck.
Hello I'm just thing to call
And talk to you
'Cause like I understand everything
No, no, no, listen
'Cause I know you got
your thing going on
And I don't mean no harm
And it's no tea, no shade
But if we talkin'
Ooh,
I think you'd be better with me
Than with your old girl
But that's just my ego talkin
Hard for me to just ignore
Kind of like those mornings
We gave each other
in the early morning
Conversations that kept me up
Contemplating, waiting for the time
That we can take when it's right
But I'm tired of trying
to act like I'm fine
When you pop out with
a new boo so true
You can't front that look in your eye
Me and you is different
But it's like time just
ain't ever on our side
I ain't even gotta hit it
I get high when our minds collide
I know I
I know his ass did not ghost me.
Even the nice ones ain't shit.
Good morning.
Did you say something?
Good morning to you,
and I was just talking to myself.
Okay.
Last night was a very pleasant surprise.
You've been very patient and consistent,
and you deserved it.
So, uh, when can I see you again?
Well, that depends on-
Wait, where you going?
Maybe you can call me
when you're not so busy.
No, look,
you've got my undivided attention.
Maybe we could get something to eat.
I don't want our day to end yet.
I guess I got a little time,
where you wanna go?
Well we can go to this-
I'll see you around, Simone.
Why you saying it like that?
Don't say it like that.
Look, I told you at the coffee shop,
and I will say it again,
I'm looking for wife,
focused, cooperative, feminine
to help me with these goals.
And if you receive that
many alerts from matchmaker,
I don't think we're on the same page.
Hope you find what you're
looking for, Simone.
God.
Will you leave me alone?
Oh, look at.
Mm-mm, put that down,
you don't wanna be attracting stuff.
Excuse me.
I've been looking for a new bonnet
'cause mine is stretched outta shape.
Oh look at this, this
gotta like band on it,
but it's too loose.
This one's like silk inside and out.
I think silk supposed
to protect your edges
or something.
And it got like, oh, it has a drawstring
to like make it tighter.
This is cool.
Let's steal this.
Mm-hmm.
Getting on my nerves.
All right, man, we got King
Khalil in the studio today
talking about the fallout
from him and Simone Starr's breakup.
So, Khalil.
Yeah.
You know all the ladies they
got the same questions, why?
They thought y'all was so happy, man.
See, bro, you know, people
look at our relationship
from the outside,
and they assume we this perfect couple.
But, you know, shit ain't perfect.
Nah, that's true.
These women wanna turn
every little celebrity into couple goals,
not knowing what's going
on behind closed doors.
Nah, not at the end of the day.
You know, it's like these online strangers
have this, this high
expectation of you, right?
And they don't even know you.
I could admit I was wrong,
and I should have did the mature thing,
and broke things off with Simone,
or been honest about my intentions
so that at least she had a choice.
But, if I'm being honest,
I definitely do feel bad.
But at the same time I
have to accept the fact
that I'm not the same man
I once was when we met.
But, any high value man knows
that when you level up
some people just gotta get left behind.
Boy, you a high value lie.
Shit.
Simone, what's good?
You all right?
It's Simone,
and yeah, I'm fine, just
watching some lame ass podcast.
Yeah?
All right, come walk with me.
Come on, I got you.
You're in my hood.
Yo, y'all, here's my little woo opp
I was telling you about, Simone.
Simone, it's the gang.
What up, what up, what up?
Yeah.
Sit your pretty ass right here, baby.
What you got for me, man?
Appreciate it.
Got you baby.
Here.
Hmm?
Yeah, you beautiful as fuck.
You deserve that.
Come on, really quick.
Damn.
I got you.
Hey yo, say you ball for this shit
Ball for this shit
Yo, yo, yo
Yo,
Hey, don't come on my
side, we been at the gate
Bitch I been bugging for
These are the permanent nigga
They based off
I got the hood but no flavor
We at, we at, we at the gate
We at the gate
We at the gate
Yes sir, yes sir
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate
Nigga compare to me
Teach her the truth then
they get scared of me
Serving
Fucking with dolphin
he gave me the recipe
Pull up on the beat
Nigga wanna beat me
Cute when a nigga think
I got me a cheat sheet
Never had shit, yo
I'm feeling like Adobe
Hold up little nigga,
nah you don't know me
Cut off the bitch you were coming to
I send the killers,
they calling me here
Rich nigga, what did you think
...
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate
Yes sir, yes sir
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate
We at the gate
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate
We at the gate
Yes sir, yes sir
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate
We at the gate
Let's go
Come on my side, bro,
we been at the gate
Rap with
Bitch I've been buggin'-
need to get eight
Please don't compare
me to niggas they basic
I got the hook 'em, no
Y'all niggas keep all the flavor
Trappin'
Serving themselves on the track
I've been at the gate
These niggas they fake
Now I can relate
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate, we at the gate
So you say you from up north, huh?
Yeah, Philly.
You don't miss it?
The only thing I
really miss is the snow.
It doesn't snow out here.
It's almost Christmas,
and today was like 80 degrees earlier.
Y'all seasons is crazy.
Yeah, you right.
Mm-mm.
Man, come on, you ain't
gonna smoke with me?
I mean, I don't really smoke.
I have before, but-
- Man, you need to loosen up.
Hit this shit.
Here, come on.
Mm-mm.
What?
Come here, let me show you how to do it.
Damn, that shit.
How old you say you was again?
About to be 30.
Yeah, I like cougars.
Boy, I am not that old.
I mean, I like older bitches.
My bad, I like bitches, older bitches.
Excuse you?
I'm sorry.
Look, I mean no disrespect,
I like older ladies, my bad.
Oh yeah, 'cause I don't play that
getting called out my name shit for real.
Matter of fact, give me that.
All right.
I'm gonna throw this away.
Yo, what's up?
Damn baby, you need to
come fuck with a real nigga,
this nigga got you out here
on trash duty and shit.
No, no-
- Hey my nigga, you cool?
You don't see me standing right there?
Yeah, I see you, nigga, so?
Well, nigga, this mine.
You need to pull out
before I make this shit.
You good?
Yeah, I think so.
Come on.
Why you looking at me like that?
I told you, I like older ladies.
You a baddie.
So we gonna fuck or what?
Or what?
Low key I been in my feelings
Low key I been drinking
Is this love or am I trippin'
Trippin'
You know I ride
You know I ride for you
I ride for you
I die for you
It's early in the morning
I been dreaming, I've
been thinking of you
When I touch my toes
And bend it over,
butt sit open for you
You said you would ride, ride, ride
Baby you lie, lie, lie
I gave you my all
But when it was time you didn't slide
I like your butt
I call your bluff
I just wanna fuck
Have you had enough
Pick me up and toss me around
Yeah, I get nasty for you
Girl.
I never trust again
I never love again
Gave all my time to you
Cross my heart and hope to die
I wished you get away
But you let me slip away
Now I can't stand
And I'm your host, the King Khalil,
and this is the Black Love
and Liberation podcast
because Black love is a revolutionary act.
See you next week.
Woo.
Yo, where's, uh, Simone at today?
I don't know.
I just know she didn't wanna be here
while you was here.
Who could blame her?
All right, bro.
I know you and Simone been
friends for a long time,
but you know how these women are, man.
I'm not sure what you mean.
They don't know what they want.
I mean, she's mad now,
but when that little loneliness set in,
she gonna come looking for me.
Then I gotta decide if, um,
I even want her ass anymore.
Hey, look, bro,
you're not gonna talk about
Simone like that, for real.
I'm trying to keep this shit cordial.
Oh okay, I see it now.
You got a thing for Simone.
Man.
Yeah, I see it.
Boy, you been playing the
friend zone like a champ.
My nigga.
What's it been, 10 years?
You the real MVP.
Nah, see the difference
between me and you is
I'm really her real friend.
Right.
See, I don't pretend to care about her.
See, I would never hurt
her the way you did.
I've been trying to protect
her from niggas like you.
And what a simple ass nigga
like you don't understand is
bitches love niggas like me.
Oh yeah.
They'll come and talk to a nigga like you,
cry on your shoulder
and all that shit,
but when they leave you
and need they back blown out,
they come and find a nigga like me.
And that's just the way of the world, bro.
See you next week.
See you next week, Carmen.
Bye Khalil.
Simone, this deal's gonna fall apart
if we don't get this show back on track.
The numbers took a nose dive
today with Khalil hosting.
JazzyonGo is killing us
in impressions right now.
Khalil is not gonna be able
to hold it together alone.
Call me back.
Simone, I know you know how important
this interview is to me.
Benny's at work til like four,
and the rid share is like $70 bro.
Call me back.
You're my only hope, friend.
I be in my bed she be in the streets
I'll be in my bed
she be in the streets
You do not compare, we cannot compete
Never been if it's you I need
Never doing shit I don't hate
We have no pressure,
pressure, pressure
Always known to get better
Wake up, wake up, wake up
Never need a filter
He said I look even better
with no makeup, makeup, makeup
Never doing shit I don't hate
We have no more pressure
You wanna stay with me
Don't wanna go
Got him all in his feelings
He call me the realest
I don't wanna hear it
You got
all about my money
Ima set the bar, make
it harder for who coming
Never get to see me but
he swore that he love me
When the pressure come
All these boys get to running
Pressure, pressure, pressure
Pressure, pressure
He keeps
Pressure, pressure
Pressure
He keep telling all his homeboys
I'll be in my bed,
she be in the streets
You do not compare, we cannot compete
Never been an option if it's you or me
Never doing shit I don't hate
We have no more pressure
Pressure, pressure, pressure
Porsha, you know I'm sorry.
I'll make it up to you, I promise.
Please forgive me,
and make me one of
those strong ass cosmos.
I'm not in the mood, Simone.
Porsche, don't do me like that.
I got tied up,
and I just forgot.
Forgot one of the most important days
of your friend's life?
Girl, you're being a little dramatic,
don't you think?
But, girl, this man, ugh, I
can't think about nothing else
when I'm with him.
I know you're not
sitting here telling me
that you made me miss my interview
because of a dick appointment.
That's crazy.
But it ain't no regular
dick though, Porsche,
he got- Girl, fuck you.
Can you tell them it was my fault?
Can they let you reschedule it?
Luckily, my real friend Benny
was able to get take an early lunch
and drop me off.
I can always depend on him.
Hey, Kevin, right?
Simone, what's up?
I saw all that drama you had
going on online, you good?
Yeah, I'm just fine.
Living my best life.
Is that right?
Mm-hmm.
Well, how about you let me
take you to dinner or something?
Well, that would be unprofessional,
wouldn't it, Mr. Carr?
I mean, journalistic integrity and all.
But you did say you was done
with the public opinion
of you, though, right?
Well played, using my post against me.
So, let's say I pick
you up around eight?
Hmm, I guess we'll see.
Wait, wait, so you playing
hard to get or something?
It's cool, I like that.
But I look forward to seeing you.
Okay.
On another note, Miss Starr,
how's the online dating going?
I'm sure you have some stories
that would make for great content.
Yeah, it's giving and taking,
but I'm just trust the process
and learning from my mistakes.
What about Khalil?
What about him?
Do you think you're over him?
Are you ready to host with him again?
What?
Of course I am.
Well, I guess so.
I don't know.
It's like one day I'm completely over him,
and then the next I just wanna lay in bed,
and play in his hair.
Okay, you have a couple
weeks to figure it out
before the relaunch.
Let me know if you need anything, okay?
You're the best, Carmen.
I know.
Oh, I just seen Kevin
Carr walking out of here,
what y'all got going on?
Nothing scandalous,
he's just looking for an agent
to help with some of his new ventures.
Mm-hmm.
Okay girl, I hear you.
Don't do it, you're crazy.
Mm-mm.
Hey, let me get this.
- Okay, see you soon.
- Okay.
Hi, this is Carmen.
- Please don't do that.
- Not.
Trying to tell-
- Benny, can you please tell
Porsha for the 100th time
that I'm sorry.
Porsche, she's sorry.
Damn.
Benny, did she tell
you that she stood me up
because she was too busy
getting her cheeks clapped
by that little ghetto boy from matchmaker?
What?
Mm.
The one with the tattoo on his face?
Bitch, you keeping secrets.
I guess her operation hoe phase
is all that matters right now.
Porsche, stop.
You know me better than anybody.
I really just lost track of time.
Okay.
I forgive you.
You know I can't stay mad at y'all.
But don't do me like that again
or you gonna catch these hands.
Understood.
Okay.
Yay, kumbaya.
Now, Simone, who's that man
you going out with tonight?
Oh, Kevin Carr, the newly
retired football player
that was on the show a few weeks ago.
You talking about that chocolate man
y'all interviewed?
Yes, sir, that's the one.
He was fine, fine.
I know, right?
We ran into each other at Carmen's office,
and he said he seen all
the drama with Khalil,
and wanted to treat me to dinner.
Okay.
He used to play ball so you know
he got a little something
going on in his pockets.
Mm-hmm.
I see you, Miss Star.
Getting dates with ballers,
and didn't even have to use the app.
I have notice a little glow
coming up off you.
I see project hoe phase is yielding
some positive results.
Let's just say I'm learning a lot.
A lot about men,
and a lot about myself.
And I'm here for it all friend.
Me too.
It's the growth for me.
Mm-hmm.
And, y'all, I'm thinking about
trying something different.
How different?
Ooh.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, so you trying to try a little
Milk of Magnesia.
Okay, white daddy.
A little swirl for the culture.
And he's cute.
It's giving Travis Kelsey.
Yep.
And it says he is CEO of a crypto firm,
so you know they got a little check.
Just my type.
Girl, anybody with
some money in their hand
is your type.
Yeah, men with money, that's my type.
Y'all, I think I'm gonna
have to cut off thug bae.
He's just too toxic.
Yeah, 'cause, um, you have never
broke a promise to me,
so you have clearly been dickmatized.
Yeah, friend, you done had your fun,
it's time to move on.
I know.
But every time I see him it's like
that logic just goes
right tout the window.
That's what that toxic
eggplant will do to you.
I have to cut him off,
but it's hard.
It's so hard.
Yeah, I think so.
Is it a warehouse?
Is it safe out here?
Okay.
Hey.
Glad you could make it.
Damn, you look good.
You don't look bad yourself.
What is this place?
I probably could show you
better than I could tell you.
Come on.
Yeah, baby, baby
Distance, I hate this distance love
Missing, tired of missing you
Don't need no mistletoe
for me to kiss on you
What's on your wish list
I'm getting it this Christmas
Truth is you're the best thing
I won't lose this
Got me moving
Take you shopping
You deserve more, let me prove it
What you need, it'll
be under this tree
Christmas every day
When you're my baby
I need you to know that you're amazing
So I'll be your everyday Santa Claus
Have 'em all saying
Christmas everyday when you're my baby
I need you to know that you're amazing
So I'll be your everyday Santa Claus
Have 'em all saying
What he do, he's been in bed
He get it all for her
She pop out in her latest fashion
Have a loss for words
And I know her worth
Give me one call
And I'll fill her purse
What the hell is going on here?
Oh, my bad.
Simone, this is Leland.
Lelani, this is Simone,
the woman I was telling you about.
I still don't understand
what's going on here, Kevin.
Well, I saw where you posted
that you was on this journey,
you know, looking to try new experiences,
so me and Lelani, we looking for a third,
thought you might be interested.
A third what?
We're poly.
We're looking for another woman.
What?
Are you serious?
Yeah, I mean you were kind of already
in a poly relationship with Khalil,
you just didn't know it.
Or maybe you were pretending not to know.
Over here we like to keep
things real open and honest.
You know what,
Kevin, you and your little
freaky ass minion over there,
y'all lose my contact, all right?
Forever.
Goodbye.
You sure?
Christmas everyday when you're my baby
I need you to know that you're amazing
So I'll be your everyday Santa Claus
Have 'em all saying
Yeah, yeah
Santa Claus
You can't just spring
something like that on somebody.
These niggas is crazy.
You know what, ima just be celibate.
Yep.
I'm gonna be celibate
because it's not worth it.
This is not worth it.
Nope.
What you about to do?
I guess I'm gonna leave.
Man, look, let me run
you downstairs then,
I gotta make a few runs.
Thought you wanted to talk
to me about something.
Yeah, it's probably
best if we take a break.
Man, I thought we was having fun.
No, I do have a lot of fun with you,
it's just I got a lot of things
I need to focus on right now,
and I don't need any distractions.
I mean, sometimes you need
a good distraction, though, right?
Hey, look, come on.
What?
In the car, get in the car.
What's going on?
No, just go, go, go.
Hey.
Porsha said you were going out tonight,
so I thought I'd work on
some stuff for the relaunch.
I can pack it up though.
You're fine.
Just keep doing whatever
it is that you're doing.
I'm just gonna sit right here.
Rough day?
You have no idea.
I think I'm a trap queen now.
What?
Nevermind.
Why are men such trash, Jabari?
They're either narcicisstic, insecure
or they just crazy.
Maybe just the ones you're picking.
Trust me, I've had a
variety of all kinds,
they're all crazy.
They can't all be crazy, Simone.
99.9%.
Everybody except for you.
You're one of the good ones.
So your little experiment
ain't going well, huh?
It's that bad?
"Game of Thrones" finale bad.
That's pretty bad.
Well, I hate to make it worse,
but you should see this.
Is this your queen?
Miss Simone Starr, relationship guru,
slutting around town
with your local thugs,
but you was just trying to
hunch on me last week though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got all the receipts.
We was good.
We was hot and heavy until she found out
I was a bisexual.
Whole vibe changed.
I mean, like homophobic much, Miss Starr?
Let this be a warning to all of y'all.
Don't ever play with my feelings
unless you wanna get exposed.
You know what?
Hmm?
I don't even care.
People are gonna believe what
they wanna believe anyway.
I'm spent.
You told me it was real in these streets,
I was not ready.
Yeah.
Well, maybe the man you need
is right under your nose.
They trying tell me
Tell me that I'm good without you
Just stay with the things
that make you feel good
But I don't see it saving me
Pretty on the shelf
It's clear to see that I
can see right through it
Look and search
Being all illusive
That's why all I want
for Christmas is you
Ain't nobody else
gonna love me like you
Not entertaining lots of new mysteries
All the fairytales
All I want for Christmas is you
Oh why, why, why
Try, try, try
To hide, hide
Behind the lie
We just wanna look good,
craving my attention
We don't know when to stop
So we keep going til we drop
Let me tell you about a little thing
That I know of
It can give you anything you need
All I want for Christmas is you
Ain't nobody else
gonna love me like you
Not entertaining lots of the mysteries
Or the fairytales
All I want for Christmas is you
Yeah, yeah, I got you, you got me
We gonna hold it down
Hey, got my squad, family
No one else around
Hey, I'm feeling best
So I give them things,
we one of a kind
You cannot replace
God, I need no upgrade
He made us new, no update
And I'm hoping that you stick around
Just stay in a circle
We are connected just like
When y'all feel like
You're keeping me grounded
You're showing me love
And taking me up
I'm glad that you found me, found me
All I want for Christmas is you
Ain't nobody else
gonna love me like you
Not entertaining lots of the mystery
Or the fairytales
I don't know if he's Mr. Right,
but he's definitely Mr. Right Now.
Hold on, y'all, say hi to him.
These are my besties I
was telling you about.
Hey, what's going on, y'all?
Wait, hold on, y'all,
let me take this.
Hey Carmen, what's up?
Good news, Bonita,
the sponsors want you
back for next week's show.
I know you're in Bali,
I just need you back in the
states by Tuesday, okay?
Sure, no problem, I'll be there.
Okay, perfect.
Enjoy the rest of the trip.
Thank you, Carmen.
How many women were there, Khalil?
I can't say.
Wow.
That many, huh?
I apologize for hurting you, Simone.
Was it worth it?
Was it worth throwing away
everything we worked hard for?
I had to grow as a man,
and unfortunately you were
a casualty of that growth.
Now I'm not proud of what I did,
but I don't regret it either.
Maybe I was naive to believe
that I'd be with my
college sweetheart forever.
This is not your fault, Simone.
You did everything you needed to do,
it's just we outgrew each other,
and that's okay.
I just don't want you to hate me.
I just never envisioned
my life without you.
I loved you.
I thought we were prefect,
but I guess it's all a facade.
That's not true.
I never lied about my feelings for you.
I truly loved you,
it's just you weren't enough.
Whoa, slow down, Sim.
That's like your fifth shot.
Yeah, friend, I ain't
seen you drink like this
since Mardi Gras 2015,
and, uh, nobody wanna relive that.
I'm fine.
Matter of fact, fuck Khalil.
King Khalil.
You know what, if it wasn't for me
and Jabari's idea to start this podcast,
he'd still be an old dusty,
incense selling Khalil from the west side.
Porsche, cut her off.
Copy that.
I want,
I want another shot.
I'm about to take you home,
you in here acting like a
drunk cartoon character.
Yeah, get miss mama home safely
'cause she's torn up.
Yeah, I got her.
Come on, Lawanda.
Jabari, you're so sweet.
Let's go.
Get the jacket.
I got it, just walk.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, figured y'all would be here.
Khalil, why you always
everywhere I'm at?
Please, stop stalking me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I got it from here, bro.
You think I'm gonna trust her with you?
Nah.
Nah, bro, what me and
Simone got going on,
ain't none of your business.
This is my girl.
You play your position, friend zone.
That's not your girl no more, Khalil.
Right.
See, you forgot what you did.
You forgot what you said on that live.
Right.
Captain Simp Capes again.
Look, you can say
whatever you want about me-
- Mm-hmm.
But I know a low value nigga like you
will never bother me.
Oh, nigga, you bothered.
You hella bothered.
Nah.
Not at all.
Simone.
Damn.
What's going on out here?
Where's Simone?
She left.
By herself?
Yeah, she must have called a ride share.
Friend, when you gonna
tell Simone how you feel?
What?
Man, what are you talking about?
Jabari, I know I act crazy,
but I aint no damn fool.
And I see the way you been looking at her,
and it's the same way you was
looking at her since college.
You in love, bro.
Benny, you must be drunk, all right,
you talking crazy.
Facts, I am drunk,
but I know what I'm saying.
And all that soft shit,
it don't work nowadays.
You'll have to shoot your shot, bro.
Man, Simone's on some
whole other stuff right now.
You talking about
them niggas on that app?
She don't like none of them niggas.
And, she's still maintaining
her low body count.
Don't judge, my friend.
You and God know her heart.
She a good girl.
Plus, she going through some things.
But, maybe this is the universe
opening up the doors for you.
Don't miss out on your love, bro.
Now, I am about to go get another drink,
and go see what this Latin boy
is talking about at the bar,
all right?
For the
I'm a beast, I'm a beast
I ain't no snack, it's a feast
Real fat, obese
This shit poppin' like grease
Take a number two on the beat
Heart so cold, need heat
Used to have a nigga on a leash
On a leash
Gave his ass back to the streets
Back to the streets
Gave his ass back to the streets
Make him do a trick for the treat
Tell that boy sit
Gave his ass back to the streets
Gave his ass back to the streets
One thing about me, ima eat
Ima eat
Take
Heel like a dog, heel like a dog
Bad bitch, I don't give a shit
Body super thick
Fit me grip, barking like
a pit, make a doggy sit
He a trick, make him spend a grit
Bitch I hit the lick
If he don't buy me what I want
Then I throw a fit
His money
Heard him say
Six million dollars,
that's a whole lot of yeeze
Had to work for a minute
Pull up in a stingray
Inside all white like green day
Got the body of a goddess
Butt naked looking back like
Fuck a bad bitch
I'm a beast, I'm a beast
I ain't no snack, it's a feast
Pops real fat, obese
This shit poppin' like
grease, like grease
Take a number two on the beat
Heart so cold need heat
Used to have nigga on
a leash, on a leash
Gave his ass back to the streets
Gave his ass back to the streets
Gave his ass back to the streets
Make him do a trick for
the treat, for the treat
Tell that boy sit, take a seat
Gave his ass back to the streets
Gave his ass back to the streets
One thing about me, ima eat
Take a
Thanks Steve, I'm on
location in front of
the Federal Trade Commission
in downtown Atlanta where we just received
breaking news from our news room.
There's been a raid at the offices of
the crypto currency exchange Coin Stock
in Atlanta, Georgia.
I'm throwing it to Donna Pierre,
who's live on the scene.
Donna, can you tell us
what's going on out there?
Thanks, Kevin, we've been
here for about 30 minutes,
and we've seen several FBI agents
go into the building
and bring out boxes full of files.
They have declined to make
a comment at this time,
but we'll wait until they're
ready to make a statement.
Oh, it looks like they're
bringing someone out.
Someone is actually being
detained at this moment.
We can't see who it is,
but, oh my goodness, Kevin,
it is the CEO of Coin Stock
that has been detained
here, Chadwick Bainbridge.
He's in handcuffs.
And we've just heard
that Coin Stock offices
in Miami and New York
are also being raided.
Agents are in route to confiscate
Mr. Bainbridge's other assets,
three houses,
and six luxury cars here in Atlanta.
Can you turn it to
something else, please?
News of a raid at Coin Stock
right here in Atlanta.
Just turn it off.
Chadwick
Bainbridge is in handcuffs.
Thanks.
Y'all, this hoe life just ain't for me.
Yeah, you're not cut
out for the streets, sis.
I mean, you live and you learn.
That was the goal, right?
Did I though?
I already knew that the dating pool
was full of pee.
I just jumped my ass right up in it.
I mean, it's better than
chasing behind Khalil old nasty ass.
You had your fun,
and you got some much needed nasty time.
So what's the problem?
I'm just gotta date myself for a while,
it's safe.
So, um, if you're not gonna use it,
can I get the contact info for prison bae?
Oh.
'Cause, child-
- Right.
I'm sure you're trying to
get sugar daddy number,
but she's playing.
I know that.
Y'all can have my phone.
It was definitely a wild ride,
with lots of twists and turns,
but no, I don't feel like every woman
needs a hoe phase,
but I do believe that every woman
should go through a self love phase.
Loving yourself is the only way
to truly find your own happiness.
The thing about love
is you can't force it,
and you can't limit it.
It's out of our control.
Love is something that doesn't
come always when you want it,
but it's right there when you need it.
This is the Black Love
and Liberation Podcast.
And we're your hosts, Simone Starr
and the King Khalil.
Your guide to love and light
coming soon to your favorite network.
See you guys next week.
Hey.
What's up?
Sorry I pulled off
on you the other night.
I just didn't want anymore drama.
No, I was childish for even
going back and forth with dude,
so that's on me.
Thanks for always having my back.
You're a really good friend.
Yeah, well, you know I always got you.
I'm seeing you at the
Christmas party later, right?
Now you know Carmen be having
all the little celebrities
at her function.
Bet.
Well, I have to go,
you know, I have my class in like an hour.
Jabari, how long you gonna be in school?
Damn, you can't learn everything.
Yeah, well I'm gonna learn
as much as they let me.
I'll see you.
Bye.
Hey, um, can we talk for a second?
Khalil, we have nothing to talk about.
Simone, what if,
what if I wanted to fix this?
Really?
You hurt me way too much for that.
Simone, I made a mistake,
I fucked up,
but why don't we do what
we tell our followers
and our views and try to fix this?
Because we have way too much history
just to watch it go to waste.
And that's exactly what
it is, history, the past.
If you could disrespect
and humiliate me like that,
then our history really
never meant anything to you.
Now, I'm gonna continue
hosting this podcast with you
for the sake of my career,
but you'll never be with me again.
So, what, you're just gonna
run up your body count on this dating app?
Maybe I will, maybe I won't,
but what I do with this box
is no longer your concern.
Yes, I am here, honey.
Now we can start the party.
Ooh, nuh-uh, Miss Simone Starr,
I'm gonna need some Christmas cheer
or some holiday spirit, boo.
The face is beat, the body is snatched,
and the titties are perky,
but the attitude not giving.
I'm just not feeling
it right now, Benny.
Well, you need to
get like Miss Porsha over there.
She looking like she about to unwrap
a whole man sized Christmas gift.
No thank you.
I think I'm taking a break on dating.
That's a good idea.
You did a lot this month,
a break is exactly what you need.
Or, maybe not.
Hmm?
Mm-mm.
Okay.
You clean up nice.
I haven't seen you in real
clothes since graduation.
Whatever, man.
Simone here?
Yeah, she here.
You ready though?
I don't know, man.
I mean, maybe it's not such a good idea.
Brai, listen, no negative vibes.
Big dick energy only.
Okay, okay.
All right?
So look, stand right here,
and I'll be right back.
Ugh.
What is he doing?
That's your friend.
Take some shots, bro, come on.
Ugh, that's not good.
Why do I get the feeling
that he wants us to talk?
Well, I got something I gotta say,
and I just need you to hear me out.
Ask me out already, damn, Jabari.
Wait, what?
I like you too.
I've been waiting for you to ask me out.
For real?
Yes, boy.
I mean, that's if you'll still have me.
Look, I know I've been a
little out of character
these last few weeks.
Yeah, well, I know that's not you,
you're just going through some things.
I'm not gonna lie though,
it was killing me.
You're a really good friend.
Well, I don't know what to say now.
Say whatever you were gonna say before.
I wanna hear it.
What I was gonna say
was that you know I always
had a soft spot for you
ever since that first little awkward date.
It was definitely awkward.
And before I had the
courage to ask you out again
Khalil came along,
and you seemed happy.
I didn't wanna mess that up.
Well y'all cute.
So I guess operation hoe phase
is officially over.
Girl, it was over I
had to run from the FBI.
Never let me do anything
crazy like that again.
Matter fact,
no more app, no more crazies.
Yeah, no more app.
Cross my heart.
Okay.
Speak for yourself.
I just made my profile last week,
and, uh, my page poppin.
Might need me a hoe phase myself.
Benny, you been a hoe
for the last 10 years,
what the fuck is you talking about?
Shade.
That's our song.
On the beat
'Cause I didn't wanna
do Christmas without you
I ain't wanna
I ain't wanna do Christmas without you
I ain't wanna do Christmas without you
Without, without your love
I ain't want it without you
We not together this season
I know that it hit you
She be with them
But she say she still
know I'm that nigga
She always call 'cause she said
That I'm always gonna get her
I got you
Now ain't it funny how it goes
It's so strange how could life change
I heard the reason you left it
Wasn't the right thing
I would have let you be a star
And I'm the hype man
Let me give it to the hype man
You the woman I always
need in my life man
Say what's the cost
I'll be down just to pay the price man
And when it's dark you can
always bring me to life man
I wanna shine like you
Remember last year
You gave me a list of
all the gifts you wanted
Yeah, I was on it
IG so you can really flaunt it
Your man
All them gifts was on you
I was on too
You got me everything
I wanted plus more
What's more
Crazy never really see what's in store
Just store
All the feelings that
you have for us boy
'Cause oh boy what's after
me is really after me
And you could never really
I don't wanna do Christmas without you
I ain't wanna
I ain't wanna do Christmas without you
'Cause I ain't wanna do
Christmas without you
Without, without your love
I ain't want it without you
I left home when I was 17
Probably searching
for what it better be
Bright lights
They just probably
looking for better things
Had to adjust for what
the weather brings
Lonely nights just got
me reflecting things
Like I'm proud of my brother David
He selling cribs now
We used to ride around with Shameka...
Okay, Mr. Carr, I hear that.
Now, as always,
we ask every guest this question.
So what is Kevin Carr's
secret to success in Black love?
Hmm,
I'm gonna be honest with y'all,
I'm a high value man,
and I'm exercising all my options.
I'm not really thinking
about love right now,
but when I do find love,
I know it'll be with a Black woman.
Mm.
Let the church say amen.
Yeah.
Okay, well thank you, Mr. Kevin Carr,
newly retired NFL standout,
and now bestselling author.
We appreciate you for your time, bro.
Anytime, man.
Well, lovers, this has been a Black Love
and Liberation podcast, where-
- Black love
is a revolutionary act.
And we're your hosts, Simone Starr,
and the King Khalil,
your guide to love and life.
Yeah.
Happy holidays.
We'll see you guys next week.
Sweet.
Alright.
Thank you.
I got it.
Hey, Queen, I'm gonna
head to this meeting I told you about.
Okay.
And I'll see you at home tonight.
I'll be waiting for you, King.
Great show, babe,
the sponsors loved it.
And I'm not supposed to tell you this yet,
but we got three, count 'em,
three television networks
on a bidding war to get
your show on their airwaves.
You and Khalil are a hot ticket
Carmen, do not play with me like that.
I'm serious.
I'm setting up meetings all next week.
We should have a deal before Christmas.
This is what we've been waiting for.
Really?
Hey, so I wasn't eavesdropping
or anything, but someone
left their mic on, so,
TV show, really?
You're nosy, but yes, a TV show,
if we play our cards right,
and keep our numbers steady.
Oh, we got this.
I mean, she don't know
we the dream team so.
- They don't be knowing.
- Come on now.
See, Jabari and I started
a radio show back in college,
and we've been going crazy ever since.
We got this deal on lock.
I hope you're right.
They'll be watching the show
and your social media
over the next few weeks,
so, be on your Ps and Qs, okay?
Aye, aye Captain.
We about to hit it big.
Shit finally paying off.
Finally.
And, thank you, friend,
couldn't have done this without you.
I mean, we have the fan base and all,
but you're the only one that knows
how to work any of this camera stuff.
I appreciate you.
Well, you know I always got you.
Mm-hmm,
I know.
So, what we got today?
Right, work, let's do that.
- What's your?
- Don't worry about that.
They broke and they dusty,
and the only thing they do is cheat,
and go make more baby mamas.
Y'all can have the
and the Ray Rays.
I'm about to go get me a white daddy
that know how to treat me.
I'm tired of.
Ooh, child, you hurt and you bitter.
Hey Simone Starr, this your man?
Look at him, I took his whole soul.
Sorry, meeting ran a little long.
Just wanna give you all my time
Sleigh bells ringing when I slide
Charge me with love, I'll pay the fine
Only wanna be with you tonight
Good times
Girl, I love you
I knew something wasn't
right about that nigga.
Ain't nobody that damn happy, bro.
Out here talking that love
and life shit,
all the time he busting
down the local ranches.
Brought in the side chick,
might as well go ahead
and start a love and affairs channel.
They viral now.
Oh, and Simone Starr,
if you, if you need a,
need a shoulder to cry on, baby,
go ahead and call me with
your fine ass, I got you.
Girl, answer this damn phone.
Yeah, girl, you got like
12 more hours to grieve,
and we're pulling up.
I don't care, we're pulling up.
We worried about you, girl.
Call us back.
All my time, all my time
Sleigh bells ringing when I slide
Well known social media influencers
and relationship gurus Simone Starr
and Khalil King are
making headlines this week
after Khalil was caught with
his pants down literally.
The seemingly happy couple are in talks
to take their Black Love and
Liberation podcast to TV,
but now the fans are
asking "Was it all a lie?"
Simone, you're gonna have
to deal with this eventually,
and these networks aren't
gonna wait for you.
If we don't keep things moving,
we will lose this deal.
Call me back.
All I need is you, you
Bad for the loop
There ain't enough sage in the world
to ward off a fuck boy,
the forces with them strong,
and Simone Starr just
found out the hard way.
No pun intended.
Speaking of the hard way,
talk to me, I know y'all seen King Khalil
all over the internet with
his little side piece.
And, baby, that thing is thinging.
I know she grieving over the loss
of that egg plant.
Let us all pray for our
good sis Simone Starr.
We so sorry for your loss.
Chin up, sweetie.
Ima spoil you
Ima spoil you
Girl I love you, I adore you
Let me hold you, Ima spoil you
When we link up it's a happy holiday
Happy holiday
Okay, since y'all so
concerned with my mental health,
let me give you the drama
that you've been waiting on.
Yes, that was Khalil in the video.
No, I don't know the
raggedy hoe he was with.
No, we're not in an open relationship,
he's a fucking cheater, period.
Now let me address all you
gossip sites and trolls.
Y'all can politely kiss
both sides of this ass-
- Nuh-uh, nuh-uh, nuh-uh.
Girl, you are live looking crazy as hell.
Yeah, girl, you on crack head time,
and I ain't feeling that.
How'd y'all get in here?
Benny picked your lock.
But, girl, this ain't it.
Benny, you broke into my house?
Look, let's stay on topic.
You know these TV folks are watching you,
you can't be out here
crashing out like that.
Girl, you about to fumble the bag.
Right.
And how I'm gonna become
your personal assistant,
and marry Michael B. Jordan
if you don't become famous?
Don't make us all suffer,
that's just selfish.
Y'all, I'm really not here
for the jokes right now,
like for real.
Listen, but this is
why we're here, friend.
Three weeks is long enough.
Right.
You are allowed to lose yourself,
but only for a little while.
It's time to reactive the boss bitch.
I'm just trying not to
jump out the damn window.
Meanwhile Khalil's all on the internet
doing interviews about his dick print.
Why does he wanna humiliate me like this?
Girl, men ain't shit.
Hey.
And I know that you thought
that Khalil was different,
but once y'all little
clout started going up
he started feeling himself.
Facts.
That ego been growing like a tumor.
Look, this is all about respect.
You've been with Khalil
basically your entire adult life.
I mean, do you even know
who you are without him?
Maybe, follow me, maybe
this is the universe
giving you the space to find out
who you really are.
Who Simone is without
King Khalil, you know?
Find myself?
What does that even mean?
Girl, that means it's
time for Miss Simone Starr
to come back outside.
You know, in my personal opinion,
the best way to get over an ex
is to get on top of an ex.
I second that.
I think you should start dating.
Yes, mama.
You've been riding the same surfboard
for much too long.
And as we can see, it's
a community attraction.
Man, y'all know Khalil was my first.
I wouldn't even know
what to do with new man.
I've been out the game way too long.
Mm-mm, mm-mm, trust me, mama,
you bring home something
tall, dark and sexy,
and nature will take its course.
And will.
But you know what, maybe you need you
a good old fashioned hoe phase.
What?
Mm-hmm.
Nah, I'll pass.
Mm-mm, mm-mm, wait though.
Benny might be on to something.
I mean, it's a right of
passage into womanhood.
You turn 30 next year, right,
and you only been with one man.
It's time for you to
discover all the delicious
variety of men be on
the market these days.
And I rebuke the word hoe
in the name of Beyonce.
Men can sleep around,
but when we do it we hoes.
There's no such thing as a hoe phase.
There shouldn't be nothing wrong
with you exploring your
grown woman sexuality.
Reclaim your coochie.
It should be a source of pride, not shame.
And we're gonna start right here.
I just made you a profile
on Black Face Matchmaker.
A dating app?
Mm-mm, that ain't my style.
Girl, your style?
Girl, you ain't got no style,
you only been with Khalil.
And this is how the young
folks are courting nowadays,
right T?
Uh T?
Look at you.
Profile aint even been up five minutes,
and you already got connections.
Yeah, mama, you can thank me later.
I don't know about this, y'all.
What if I get kidnapped or something?
You know, all these true cop shows,
I could be getting caught
up on apps like that.
Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.
There's three basic
rules to online dating,
and you know I know 'em.
One, always FaceTime to
confirm their identity
because you know they
be catfishing, you know.
Two, if they become creepy,
you're not feeling it,
or they start asking you
for money, block 'em.
Three, always, always
meet in a public place.
Simple.
That little coffee shop down the street.
- Mm.
- Perfect.
Yes, mm-hmm.
Just meet up with all your men there,
and see how it goes.
Yeah.
Ooh, this gonna be
a transformative
experience for you, friend.
Oh, yes, bitch.
Christmas is 27 days away,
and you got enough time to cuff
you a little Christmas bae.
And Christmas bae means Christmas gifts.
And Christmas trips.
- And Christmas-
- Oh.
Ooh, you gonna have a
hot girl holiday, friend.
I don't know y'all,
I'd just, I'd just rather lay right here.
No boo, don't do that.
No, look here.
You got a connection already,
and damn, he is fine.
He look like the perfection distraction.
Yes, mama, what that song say?
Interesting fashion choices today, mama.
Carmen, you wanted me here so I'm here.
Simone, I'm not just your agent,
okay, I want you to
think of me as a friend.
And, as a friend, I'm worried about you.
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
Honestly, I'm tired of
everybody asking me.
I mean, what do you expect?
You completely gave in
to them internet trolls.
This isn't the Simone Starr
that me and your fans have grown
to love and know.
The Star we know would use this
as fuel to her, baby.
I just need a little
bit more time, okay?
Unfortunately time is the
one thing we don't have.
Jabari's been running filler
episodes for two weeks now.
Sponsors are getting worried,
and the networks are asking questions.
Look, what can I do for you?
Just tell me what you need.
Actually, you got a time machine?
Because I need to go back to 2012,
and unmeet Khalil.
That's the only thing that's
gonna make me okay right now.
Come on, Simone, give me something.
Carmen, how am I supposed to
go back to the show after this?
Everybody thinks I'm a fraud.
The relationship guru who lost
her man to some random thot?
It's over.
Over?
Simone, you have worked too
hard to give this all up.
You're at the cusp of your breakthrough.
You can and will get past this.
You sound just like Porsha and Benny.
What did they have to say?
Benny signed me up
for a match making app.
They seem to think that I need
to experience the dating world.
Actually, that may be a good idea.
What?
Not you too.
No, hear me out, okay?
The relationship guru on her
journey of self discovery
after a devastating breakup.
It would make for great
content, maybe even a book.
Carmen, this is my real life,
it's not for content purposes.
That's exactly what people wanna see,
Simone Starr real, raw and uncut.
This could be what we
need to lock in the deal.
Just, just think about it for me.
Fine, I'll think about it.
Okay.
Gonna set in some meetings.
You free tomorrow?
I haven't even walked out yet.
We're working.
Hello
I'm just trying to
call and talk to you
'Cause like I understand everything
No, no, no, listen
I know you got your thing going on
And I don't mean no harm
And it's no tea, no shade
But if we talking arms
I think you'd be better
with me than your old girl
But that's just my ego talking
Hard for me to just ignore
Kind of like those
mornings we gave each other
In the early morning
Conversations that kept
me up contemplating
Waiting for the time
that we could take
When it's right but I'm tired
Of trying to act like I'm fine
I'm fine when you pop
out with a new boo
So true
You can't front that look in your eye
Me and you was different
But it's like time just
ain't ever on our side
I ain't even gotta hit it
I get high when minds collide
I know I
Whoa, that's crazy.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
I'll never disrespect you like that.
I didn't realize how late it was.
Looks like we are the last ones here.
Oh yeah.
Can I, um, take you to your car?
Sure, yeah.
I know you feel I'm so played out
And so over reactive
I'm over zealous
This was so nice.
It was.
I hope I made a good impression
for your first time online dating.
Yeah, you definitely set the bar high.
So, can I call you later this week?
Yeah, I'd like that.
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
Would I be doing too much if I kiss you?
I guess that's okay.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
I'm sorry, it's just, it's
been a really long time
since I've been on a first date.
It's okay, I understand.
All right.
Okay.
Get home safe okay?
Thank you.
No problem.
Bye.
Okay, y'all, I'm officially
back outside.
A hoe phase?
You sure you wanna do that?
I mean, it's a little out of
character for you, aint it?
You gotta try new things
to get new results, right?
I'm tired of being a good girl.
It's time I reclaim my coochie.
What?
All right, okay, Starr, just be careful.
You know, it's real out
here in these streets.
It's all a part of my
journey of self discovery.
I never really dated.
I mean, I met Khalil and that was it.
I'm gonna go out with
every guy I connect with.
What's the harm in having some fun?
Yeah, well, you know a lots changed
since the 2010s when
you was outside, right?
And that's exactly
why I need to do this.
I need to get into my modern woman era.
Ready to get the show on the road?
Yeah, let's get it.
And, we're rolling.
Starr, I'm rolling.
Hey, lovers, welcome to the
Black Love and Liberation podcast,
where Black love is a revolutionary act.
You know what, let me tell
you something about love.
Love will take you to
your highest heights,
and then drop your ass like a bad habit.
Love is bullshit.
Ladies, I'm embarking on a new journey
of self discovery, mm-hmm.
That's right, I'm freeing
myself from the chains
of toxic masculinity,
and reclaiming my time.
I gave that man every piece of me,
and it still wasn't enough.
He wanted to go run the
streets with the dusties
when he had all this
love and light at home.
You know what, maybe JazzyonGo was right.
Maybe the Black woman needs to divest
'cause the Black man just
ain't cutting the mustard.
Maybe the Passport Bros
are on to something.
Mm-hmm.
Jabari, what are you doing?
I wasn't done.
Are you sure you're good Starr?
I'm just fine.
Now start the shit back up.
Carmen said the sponsors are pissed,
they wanna meet.
Whatever.
Yo, let's just slow down
Sit back, relax and
have a glass of wine
To be honest, it's been a minute
Since we had some time to talk
I know you're working
And you're busy at your job
True
And I've been busy
Trying to make a
living from these songs
Hey, Simone?
Hey, yeah.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
Watch the snow pile up
from the window inside
Put some wood on the furnace
Let the temperature rise
Secret Santa
I know you said no gifts but I lied
I can't tell you what it is yet
'Cause it's a surprise
Can't describe the feeling
When I'm looking into your eyes
About to light some candles
Then throw on some Barry White
Hit the lights
I feel lucky just to call you my wife
And this Christmas I'm just thankful
You're a part of my life
Ooh baby
Baby
What you say we take a couple days off
Rent a room for two
Just to get away from it all
Ooh baby
Baby
Oh, but we can work past that.
You can work with
that all the time, girl.
Mm-mm.
Aww, friends, I love
our tree trimming parties.
- Yeah.
- That star a little crooked
though Bari.
Hey, Benny, either help out or shut up.
Rude.
Anyways, so friend, how did that date
with that pretty boy personal trainer go?
Girl, I don't think
I should kiss and tell.
Oh no, don't do that,
I need all of it play by play.
Okay, but y'all can't judge though.
Girl, please.
Spill.
Okay.
So, he's all into fitness or whatever,
so we went to a yoga class.
Working out on a date?
I'll pass.
Yeah, girl, he broke.
No, it was cute,
and kind of sexy.
He was helping me with my poses,
and he was stretching me out.
Okay, get to the good part.
Did you hunch on the man or not?
Yeah.
Things got a little spicy after the class.
He said he could tell
I haven't had a good stretch in a while.
I don't know what came over me,
it was like he was looking
good, smelling even better.
I just decided to go with
the flow and kissed him.
Making the first move?
Okay, friend.
I know that, mama.
So, uh, did y'all hunch in the car?
Benny, calm down, I am not a hoe.
We went to his condo.
And then things got a little weird.
You like that baby?
Yeah, I like that baby.
Yeah.
You like that baby?
Yeah, you're sexy.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, you wanna be on my Love My Fans page?
Stop the cab.
That man was not making
love to his reflection.
Yes, ma'am, he was.
It was way too much for me.
Girl, I just pretended I had a cramp,
and ran up out of there.
Girl, you need to post a
whole story time about this one.
I would like to make
a toast to my friend
for finally transitioning
into true womanhood.
Cheers to a hot girl holiday.
Cheers.
Okay, hater.
Okay, so, anyway, let's see who's next.
Oh, this one right here, Mr. Big and Bald.
Ooh, yeah.
Oh hell no, he just got out of prison.
Perfect.
What?
Y'all know what?
Bow, bow, bow, bow.
Santa got some niggas under the tree
Thanks for helping me clean up.
You know Benny and Porsha
are allergic to chores.
I was Benny's roommate junior year,
trust me, I know all too well.
Hey, Starr, I'm not trying
to be in your business
or anything,
and, you know, not hating
or nothing like that,
but I don't think this
whole matchmaking thing
is such a good idea.
Bari, you're such an old man.
Millions of people are
online dating every day.
It's totally normal.
You know, I'm saying though,
you've never been the type
to have casual sex.
Are you sure that's what you want?
I'm sure that what I do with my vagina
is none of your business.
Look, Starr, you're my friend,
and if I'm worried about you
I'm gonna speak on it.
I love you, Bari,
and I appreciate your concern,
but I'm gonna be just fine.
I promise.
If you say so.
On another note, are you ready
for that Brunch Ladies interview tomorrow?
Oh, you know I stay ready.
All right.
Well, call me if you need anything, okay?
I'm gonna slide.
Okay.
Be safe.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, whoa, wait, wait.
All right, so, let's just
go ahead and get into it.
People wanna know, the
streets have been asking-
- Talking.
Was Simone Starr and
King Khalil all a lie?
Was it a lie, Simone?
Girl, did you scam us?
Ladies, I assure you,
what me and Khalil had was real,
at least it was for me.
Well, okay, so we did
see your little video.
I think everybody say that little rant
that you went on on live.
I mean, to me it's kind of sounding like
your whole views on love have
all changed a little bit.
Yeah, boo, you is on your feminism vibe,
and that's a lot different
when everybody used to call you a pick me.
My views have changed
a lot, a whole 180.
I had an epiphany.
Mmhmm.
Love is a myth.
Okay.
Talk to us, talk to us.
It's like Santa Claus
and the Easter Bunny.
- Okay.
- Okay.
It's a fantasy sold to you by the media
and corporate America
to distract you from
your true self purpose.
Right now, Simone Starr is
just working on herself.
We gonna cheers to that, okay.
Ooh, that was intense.
Girl, you know it's been a long time.
I could tell.
I didn't hurt you did it?
No, it ain't hurt,
but I'm definitely gonna be sore.
We worked up an appetite,
wanna go grab some lunch?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I think I'm a little hungry myself.
So, you were in prison for eight years?
That's a long time.
More like 50 years.
I'm just glad to be out here
getting a second chance.
Let the church say amen.
I know you're happy to be out.
Amen to that.
I'm telling you.
James?
James, is that you?
Oh, so you gonna act like
you don't know a bitch now?
See, when we was in lockup
you knew me real good.
Hey, sis, you sure look cute.
Nuh-uh, you, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.
James, you gonna act
like you don't know me?
Yeah, Jabari, why you blowing me up?
Hey, Carmen said she's
been trying to call you.
The sponsors want to meet ASAP.
Yeah, I was busy.
Just tell her to set it up.
Nah, they wanna meet now.
Right now?
Right now.
Meet me at Carmen's office.
Ugh, damn.
All right, I'm coming.
Hi ladies, I'm sorry
I'm late, I apologize.
All right, well, we'll just go ahead
and get started as to not waste
anymore of your precious time.
Simone, our sponsors
here have some concerns
about last week's show,
and your recent interview
on Brunch Ladies.
Simone, you know me and my mother
have always supported
you and your message.
We were elated to work with you and Khalil
in helping to bring a Black love movement
to the forefront.
But after last week's rant
we're just not sure we're
all on the same page anymore.
We wanted to advertise our brand
on a platform that was in support
of building Black families.
If this is the new direction of the show,
we'll have to reevaluate our partnership.
Okay, look, ladies, I know
I spazzed out last week,
but I'm completely over it.
Okay, I had time to
grieve the relationship,
and, um, I can assure you
that everything will be
back to normal this week.
This TV deal could take
our brand to the next level.
We need you on top of your game.
Yes, we're working on that.
Thank you ladies for your time.
We'll be in touch.
So what about Khalil?
My grieve is high value men
who are not really interested
in feminist ideals.
I honestly only partnered with the show
because of Khalil.
Without him, I don't see
my demographic tuning in.
So, in that case, what reason do we have
to continue business together?
With all due respect, this is my show,
we'll do just fine without Khalil.
We'll let the numbers prove that.
They will.
Thank you so much for coming.
We'll be in touch.
So, Nigerian bae seems promising.
Why you ain't?
I kind of don't wanna mess it up.
Besides, I like where we're at right now,
and, girl, he hasn't
even pressed the issue.
Ooh, gentleman.
I'm here for it.
But I ain't seen you since last week,
what happened to them other dudes
that you connected with?
You should have been on three
or four new di, dates, friend,
three or four new dates.
Girl, you nasty.
Anyway, I have been on a few more dates.
And you ain't tell me?
Spill the tea while it's still hot.
All right.
Well, girl, one of them,
we just at two completely,
totally different
places in our lives right now.
What you mean by that?
Girl, that man was old.
That man was old as hell, okay?
His profile picture was
at least 20 years old.
That man tried it.
I mean, he might not
have been Mr. Right,
but he could have been Mr. Sponsor, girl.
Porsche, I am not that needy
yet.
I ain't that needy yet.
Well, slide me daddy's number,
'cause he sound just my speed.
Anyway, couple of days later
I linked up with this Army dude.
We had a nice time talking.
He'd been all over the world.
Oh, Army dudes
be having a little check.
Well, he was nice and whatever,
but I think the man is
dealing with some PTSD issues.
Yeah, no.
I can't be dealing with
nobody else mental health
but my own.
Exactly.
Like get somebody else to do it.
Get somebody else to do it.
Um, this next guy,
girl, pretty sure he was a scammer.
Hey, look, hey, I think we got one.
Hey queen.
I see you shinning like the sun over here.
Let me ask you something.
You got a checking account?
Oh, he was about to steal your whole,
not half, but your whole identity.
Girl, I blocked his ass
while he was still sitting right there.
As you should have.
Now, the new guy, he
might have some potential.
He was on time, dressed to kill-
- Mm-hmm.
- Brought me a rose.
- Ooh.
- It was actually romantic.
I'm supposed to meet his
friends this weekend,
so we'll see.
See, friend, you can't tell
me that you're not having fun.
You were right.
It is a little liberating.
Ooh.
Girl, I don't even know
the last guy's real name.
I've never felt so free.
Mm.
And this how it feels when
you become your own woman,
not a woman that some man's
trying to groom you to be.
That part.
It was a little shaky at first,
but I'm trusting the process.
Ooh, to trusting the process.
Girl, you gonna toast to anything.
Don't forget, you gotta
take me to my interview
at the Casa Blanca because the bus
cannot get me there on time,
and I cannot reschedule this,
or miss it 'cause may be my only chance
to shake these tatas behind one of
the hottest bars in the city.
Tip me please.
Baller me please.
You know I got you, friend.
I've been having a lot of extra time
on my hands lately since
Khalil's hosting the show this week.
Any they gonna call you back.
They are.
Can I get some more?
Pour me up, please.
Well, you haven't
introduced us to a woman
in quite some time.
You must be a very special miss lady.
Well, I hope so.
Of course she's special.
I mean, it's gotta be a serious situation
to bring her around y'all fools.
You know I don't play like that.
- Mm-hmm.
- That's a fact,
that's a fact.
Well, I'm just glad you
decided to settle down, friend.
Remember last time when we were, um,
at Shay's dungeon party?
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, you were giving
that little black thing
to her, him, they and them now.
It was definitely a night.
I'll say that.
I'll say that.
Wait a minute, um, did
I just hear you say a him?
Yes, girl.
You know our good brother just
flows with the wind, honey.
Okay.
Can you guys excuse me really quickly?
Girl, he in trouble.
Hey, everything okay?
Was I hearing them correctly?
Were your friends just
telling me that you're gay?
No, I'm bisexual.
So, you're gay.
No, like I said, I'm bisexual.
I like both men and women.
So you're half gay?
Simone.
It's the 2020s, sexuality is fluid.
I'm sure you know all
about all types of fluid.
You know what, I'm just gonna head on out.
Wow.
So the oppressed becomes the oppressor.
Nice meeting you.
Tell your friends it was
good meeting them too, okay?
Okay, Miss Starr, I got you.
Hey, man, why all these girls in here
looking at you like that?
Bro, I don't know shit, bro.
I promise you it ain't me.
I knew when I seen that video
we was gonna have trouble in the gym.
Bro, I'm like Arby's my dude,
they only after the meat, my G.
Excuse me.
You Khalil from the BLL podcast show, huh?
Yeah, yeah, that's me.
I see you been causing a lot of trouble
on the internet, Mr. Khalil.
You know, I've been known
to be a trouble maker.
So, you're single, right?
Single, single.
Mm-hmm.
Come on man, let's finish up, man.
It's your set.
It's your go.
You go.
Man, I wish somebody would come to me
asking about the D.
Hey.
Hey, you're like an
hour early, what's up?
Well, I got some bad news,
figured I'd tell you in person.
Great, more bad news.
What is it now?
Just go ahead and rip the Band-Aid off.
Well, we lost two endorsements
due to last week's meltdown,
and sponsors have made their decision.
And?
What's up, y'all?
Jabari, what is he doing here?
That's what I was trying to tell you,
Khalil's contractually part of the show,
and the sponsors want him
to take over for a while.
They wanna do a series on why men cheat.
What?
No, mm-mm.
Let me call Carmen.
This is my show, Khalil.
Nah, it's our show, baby.
We signed this deal together as a couple.
I've been trying to
tell you what's going on,
but you seem more
concerned with them niggas
on Matchmaker than this podcast.
Matchmaker?
Snitch.
The app?
What you doing on a hook up site, Simone?
Same thing you were doing, Khalil,
hooking the fuck up.
Simone, that ain't even you.
And you are obvious
proof that people change.
Look, I ain't here to argue with you.
You know this TV deal
depends on both of us,
not just you.
And that's not gonna happen without me.
So regardless of your little feelings,
I'm not gonna let you mess this up.
Me mess this up?
Me?
This is all your fault, Khalil.
You couldn't even keep your
little pee pee in your pants
long enough to secure our future.
You and I both know ain't
nothing in my pants little.
You know-
- Okay, please, don't do this.
Khalil, fuck you.
Hey, hey, come on.
Damn, these women be crazy, huh?
Man, come on, man.
Fuck.
Hello I'm just thing to call
And talk to you
'Cause like I understand everything
No, no, no, listen
'Cause I know you got
your thing going on
And I don't mean no harm
And it's no tea, no shade
But if we talkin'
Ooh,
I think you'd be better with me
Than with your old girl
But that's just my ego talkin
Hard for me to just ignore
Kind of like those mornings
We gave each other
in the early morning
Conversations that kept me up
Contemplating, waiting for the time
That we can take when it's right
But I'm tired of trying
to act like I'm fine
When you pop out with
a new boo so true
You can't front that look in your eye
Me and you is different
But it's like time just
ain't ever on our side
I ain't even gotta hit it
I get high when our minds collide
I know I
I know his ass did not ghost me.
Even the nice ones ain't shit.
Good morning.
Did you say something?
Good morning to you,
and I was just talking to myself.
Okay.
Last night was a very pleasant surprise.
You've been very patient and consistent,
and you deserved it.
So, uh, when can I see you again?
Well, that depends on-
Wait, where you going?
Maybe you can call me
when you're not so busy.
No, look,
you've got my undivided attention.
Maybe we could get something to eat.
I don't want our day to end yet.
I guess I got a little time,
where you wanna go?
Well we can go to this-
I'll see you around, Simone.
Why you saying it like that?
Don't say it like that.
Look, I told you at the coffee shop,
and I will say it again,
I'm looking for wife,
focused, cooperative, feminine
to help me with these goals.
And if you receive that
many alerts from matchmaker,
I don't think we're on the same page.
Hope you find what you're
looking for, Simone.
God.
Will you leave me alone?
Oh, look at.
Mm-mm, put that down,
you don't wanna be attracting stuff.
Excuse me.
I've been looking for a new bonnet
'cause mine is stretched outta shape.
Oh look at this, this
gotta like band on it,
but it's too loose.
This one's like silk inside and out.
I think silk supposed
to protect your edges
or something.
And it got like, oh, it has a drawstring
to like make it tighter.
This is cool.
Let's steal this.
Mm-hmm.
Getting on my nerves.
All right, man, we got King
Khalil in the studio today
talking about the fallout
from him and Simone Starr's breakup.
So, Khalil.
Yeah.
You know all the ladies they
got the same questions, why?
They thought y'all was so happy, man.
See, bro, you know, people
look at our relationship
from the outside,
and they assume we this perfect couple.
But, you know, shit ain't perfect.
Nah, that's true.
These women wanna turn
every little celebrity into couple goals,
not knowing what's going
on behind closed doors.
Nah, not at the end of the day.
You know, it's like these online strangers
have this, this high
expectation of you, right?
And they don't even know you.
I could admit I was wrong,
and I should have did the mature thing,
and broke things off with Simone,
or been honest about my intentions
so that at least she had a choice.
But, if I'm being honest,
I definitely do feel bad.
But at the same time I
have to accept the fact
that I'm not the same man
I once was when we met.
But, any high value man knows
that when you level up
some people just gotta get left behind.
Boy, you a high value lie.
Shit.
Simone, what's good?
You all right?
It's Simone,
and yeah, I'm fine, just
watching some lame ass podcast.
Yeah?
All right, come walk with me.
Come on, I got you.
You're in my hood.
Yo, y'all, here's my little woo opp
I was telling you about, Simone.
Simone, it's the gang.
What up, what up, what up?
Yeah.
Sit your pretty ass right here, baby.
What you got for me, man?
Appreciate it.
Got you baby.
Here.
Hmm?
Yeah, you beautiful as fuck.
You deserve that.
Come on, really quick.
Damn.
I got you.
Hey yo, say you ball for this shit
Ball for this shit
Yo, yo, yo
Yo,
Hey, don't come on my
side, we been at the gate
Bitch I been bugging for
These are the permanent nigga
They based off
I got the hood but no flavor
We at, we at, we at the gate
We at the gate
We at the gate
Yes sir, yes sir
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate
Nigga compare to me
Teach her the truth then
they get scared of me
Serving
Fucking with dolphin
he gave me the recipe
Pull up on the beat
Nigga wanna beat me
Cute when a nigga think
I got me a cheat sheet
Never had shit, yo
I'm feeling like Adobe
Hold up little nigga,
nah you don't know me
Cut off the bitch you were coming to
I send the killers,
they calling me here
Rich nigga, what did you think
...
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate
Yes sir, yes sir
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate
We at the gate
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate
We at the gate
Yes sir, yes sir
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate
We at the gate
Let's go
Come on my side, bro,
we been at the gate
Rap with
Bitch I've been buggin'-
need to get eight
Please don't compare
me to niggas they basic
I got the hook 'em, no
Y'all niggas keep all the flavor
Trappin'
Serving themselves on the track
I've been at the gate
These niggas they fake
Now I can relate
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate, we at the gate
We at the gate, we at the gate
So you say you from up north, huh?
Yeah, Philly.
You don't miss it?
The only thing I
really miss is the snow.
It doesn't snow out here.
It's almost Christmas,
and today was like 80 degrees earlier.
Y'all seasons is crazy.
Yeah, you right.
Mm-mm.
Man, come on, you ain't
gonna smoke with me?
I mean, I don't really smoke.
I have before, but-
- Man, you need to loosen up.
Hit this shit.
Here, come on.
Mm-mm.
What?
Come here, let me show you how to do it.
Damn, that shit.
How old you say you was again?
About to be 30.
Yeah, I like cougars.
Boy, I am not that old.
I mean, I like older bitches.
My bad, I like bitches, older bitches.
Excuse you?
I'm sorry.
Look, I mean no disrespect,
I like older ladies, my bad.
Oh yeah, 'cause I don't play that
getting called out my name shit for real.
Matter of fact, give me that.
All right.
I'm gonna throw this away.
Yo, what's up?
Damn baby, you need to
come fuck with a real nigga,
this nigga got you out here
on trash duty and shit.
No, no-
- Hey my nigga, you cool?
You don't see me standing right there?
Yeah, I see you, nigga, so?
Well, nigga, this mine.
You need to pull out
before I make this shit.
You good?
Yeah, I think so.
Come on.
Why you looking at me like that?
I told you, I like older ladies.
You a baddie.
So we gonna fuck or what?
Or what?
Low key I been in my feelings
Low key I been drinking
Is this love or am I trippin'
Trippin'
You know I ride
You know I ride for you
I ride for you
I die for you
It's early in the morning
I been dreaming, I've
been thinking of you
When I touch my toes
And bend it over,
butt sit open for you
You said you would ride, ride, ride
Baby you lie, lie, lie
I gave you my all
But when it was time you didn't slide
I like your butt
I call your bluff
I just wanna fuck
Have you had enough
Pick me up and toss me around
Yeah, I get nasty for you
Girl.
I never trust again
I never love again
Gave all my time to you
Cross my heart and hope to die
I wished you get away
But you let me slip away
Now I can't stand
And I'm your host, the King Khalil,
and this is the Black Love
and Liberation podcast
because Black love is a revolutionary act.
See you next week.
Woo.
Yo, where's, uh, Simone at today?
I don't know.
I just know she didn't wanna be here
while you was here.
Who could blame her?
All right, bro.
I know you and Simone been
friends for a long time,
but you know how these women are, man.
I'm not sure what you mean.
They don't know what they want.
I mean, she's mad now,
but when that little loneliness set in,
she gonna come looking for me.
Then I gotta decide if, um,
I even want her ass anymore.
Hey, look, bro,
you're not gonna talk about
Simone like that, for real.
I'm trying to keep this shit cordial.
Oh okay, I see it now.
You got a thing for Simone.
Man.
Yeah, I see it.
Boy, you been playing the
friend zone like a champ.
My nigga.
What's it been, 10 years?
You the real MVP.
Nah, see the difference
between me and you is
I'm really her real friend.
Right.
See, I don't pretend to care about her.
See, I would never hurt
her the way you did.
I've been trying to protect
her from niggas like you.
And what a simple ass nigga
like you don't understand is
bitches love niggas like me.
Oh yeah.
They'll come and talk to a nigga like you,
cry on your shoulder
and all that shit,
but when they leave you
and need they back blown out,
they come and find a nigga like me.
And that's just the way of the world, bro.
See you next week.
See you next week, Carmen.
Bye Khalil.
Simone, this deal's gonna fall apart
if we don't get this show back on track.
The numbers took a nose dive
today with Khalil hosting.
JazzyonGo is killing us
in impressions right now.
Khalil is not gonna be able
to hold it together alone.
Call me back.
Simone, I know you know how important
this interview is to me.
Benny's at work til like four,
and the rid share is like $70 bro.
Call me back.
You're my only hope, friend.
I be in my bed she be in the streets
I'll be in my bed
she be in the streets
You do not compare, we cannot compete
Never been if it's you I need
Never doing shit I don't hate
We have no pressure,
pressure, pressure
Always known to get better
Wake up, wake up, wake up
Never need a filter
He said I look even better
with no makeup, makeup, makeup
Never doing shit I don't hate
We have no more pressure
You wanna stay with me
Don't wanna go
Got him all in his feelings
He call me the realest
I don't wanna hear it
You got
all about my money
Ima set the bar, make
it harder for who coming
Never get to see me but
he swore that he love me
When the pressure come
All these boys get to running
Pressure, pressure, pressure
Pressure, pressure
He keeps
Pressure, pressure
Pressure
He keep telling all his homeboys
I'll be in my bed,
she be in the streets
You do not compare, we cannot compete
Never been an option if it's you or me
Never doing shit I don't hate
We have no more pressure
Pressure, pressure, pressure
Porsha, you know I'm sorry.
I'll make it up to you, I promise.
Please forgive me,
and make me one of
those strong ass cosmos.
I'm not in the mood, Simone.
Porsche, don't do me like that.
I got tied up,
and I just forgot.
Forgot one of the most important days
of your friend's life?
Girl, you're being a little dramatic,
don't you think?
But, girl, this man, ugh, I
can't think about nothing else
when I'm with him.
I know you're not
sitting here telling me
that you made me miss my interview
because of a dick appointment.
That's crazy.
But it ain't no regular
dick though, Porsche,
he got- Girl, fuck you.
Can you tell them it was my fault?
Can they let you reschedule it?
Luckily, my real friend Benny
was able to get take an early lunch
and drop me off.
I can always depend on him.
Hey, Kevin, right?
Simone, what's up?
I saw all that drama you had
going on online, you good?
Yeah, I'm just fine.
Living my best life.
Is that right?
Mm-hmm.
Well, how about you let me
take you to dinner or something?
Well, that would be unprofessional,
wouldn't it, Mr. Carr?
I mean, journalistic integrity and all.
But you did say you was done
with the public opinion
of you, though, right?
Well played, using my post against me.
So, let's say I pick
you up around eight?
Hmm, I guess we'll see.
Wait, wait, so you playing
hard to get or something?
It's cool, I like that.
But I look forward to seeing you.
Okay.
On another note, Miss Starr,
how's the online dating going?
I'm sure you have some stories
that would make for great content.
Yeah, it's giving and taking,
but I'm just trust the process
and learning from my mistakes.
What about Khalil?
What about him?
Do you think you're over him?
Are you ready to host with him again?
What?
Of course I am.
Well, I guess so.
I don't know.
It's like one day I'm completely over him,
and then the next I just wanna lay in bed,
and play in his hair.
Okay, you have a couple
weeks to figure it out
before the relaunch.
Let me know if you need anything, okay?
You're the best, Carmen.
I know.
Oh, I just seen Kevin
Carr walking out of here,
what y'all got going on?
Nothing scandalous,
he's just looking for an agent
to help with some of his new ventures.
Mm-hmm.
Okay girl, I hear you.
Don't do it, you're crazy.
Mm-mm.
Hey, let me get this.
- Okay, see you soon.
- Okay.
Hi, this is Carmen.
- Please don't do that.
- Not.
Trying to tell-
- Benny, can you please tell
Porsha for the 100th time
that I'm sorry.
Porsche, she's sorry.
Damn.
Benny, did she tell
you that she stood me up
because she was too busy
getting her cheeks clapped
by that little ghetto boy from matchmaker?
What?
Mm.
The one with the tattoo on his face?
Bitch, you keeping secrets.
I guess her operation hoe phase
is all that matters right now.
Porsche, stop.
You know me better than anybody.
I really just lost track of time.
Okay.
I forgive you.
You know I can't stay mad at y'all.
But don't do me like that again
or you gonna catch these hands.
Understood.
Okay.
Yay, kumbaya.
Now, Simone, who's that man
you going out with tonight?
Oh, Kevin Carr, the newly
retired football player
that was on the show a few weeks ago.
You talking about that chocolate man
y'all interviewed?
Yes, sir, that's the one.
He was fine, fine.
I know, right?
We ran into each other at Carmen's office,
and he said he seen all
the drama with Khalil,
and wanted to treat me to dinner.
Okay.
He used to play ball so you know
he got a little something
going on in his pockets.
Mm-hmm.
I see you, Miss Star.
Getting dates with ballers,
and didn't even have to use the app.
I have notice a little glow
coming up off you.
I see project hoe phase is yielding
some positive results.
Let's just say I'm learning a lot.
A lot about men,
and a lot about myself.
And I'm here for it all friend.
Me too.
It's the growth for me.
Mm-hmm.
And, y'all, I'm thinking about
trying something different.
How different?
Ooh.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, so you trying to try a little
Milk of Magnesia.
Okay, white daddy.
A little swirl for the culture.
And he's cute.
It's giving Travis Kelsey.
Yep.
And it says he is CEO of a crypto firm,
so you know they got a little check.
Just my type.
Girl, anybody with
some money in their hand
is your type.
Yeah, men with money, that's my type.
Y'all, I think I'm gonna
have to cut off thug bae.
He's just too toxic.
Yeah, 'cause, um, you have never
broke a promise to me,
so you have clearly been dickmatized.
Yeah, friend, you done had your fun,
it's time to move on.
I know.
But every time I see him it's like
that logic just goes
right tout the window.
That's what that toxic
eggplant will do to you.
I have to cut him off,
but it's hard.
It's so hard.
Yeah, I think so.
Is it a warehouse?
Is it safe out here?
Okay.
Hey.
Glad you could make it.
Damn, you look good.
You don't look bad yourself.
What is this place?
I probably could show you
better than I could tell you.
Come on.
Yeah, baby, baby
Distance, I hate this distance love
Missing, tired of missing you
Don't need no mistletoe
for me to kiss on you
What's on your wish list
I'm getting it this Christmas
Truth is you're the best thing
I won't lose this
Got me moving
Take you shopping
You deserve more, let me prove it
What you need, it'll
be under this tree
Christmas every day
When you're my baby
I need you to know that you're amazing
So I'll be your everyday Santa Claus
Have 'em all saying
Christmas everyday when you're my baby
I need you to know that you're amazing
So I'll be your everyday Santa Claus
Have 'em all saying
What he do, he's been in bed
He get it all for her
She pop out in her latest fashion
Have a loss for words
And I know her worth
Give me one call
And I'll fill her purse
What the hell is going on here?
Oh, my bad.
Simone, this is Leland.
Lelani, this is Simone,
the woman I was telling you about.
I still don't understand
what's going on here, Kevin.
Well, I saw where you posted
that you was on this journey,
you know, looking to try new experiences,
so me and Lelani, we looking for a third,
thought you might be interested.
A third what?
We're poly.
We're looking for another woman.
What?
Are you serious?
Yeah, I mean you were kind of already
in a poly relationship with Khalil,
you just didn't know it.
Or maybe you were pretending not to know.
Over here we like to keep
things real open and honest.
You know what,
Kevin, you and your little
freaky ass minion over there,
y'all lose my contact, all right?
Forever.
Goodbye.
You sure?
Christmas everyday when you're my baby
I need you to know that you're amazing
So I'll be your everyday Santa Claus
Have 'em all saying
Yeah, yeah
Santa Claus
You can't just spring
something like that on somebody.
These niggas is crazy.
You know what, ima just be celibate.
Yep.
I'm gonna be celibate
because it's not worth it.
This is not worth it.
Nope.
What you about to do?
I guess I'm gonna leave.
Man, look, let me run
you downstairs then,
I gotta make a few runs.
Thought you wanted to talk
to me about something.
Yeah, it's probably
best if we take a break.
Man, I thought we was having fun.
No, I do have a lot of fun with you,
it's just I got a lot of things
I need to focus on right now,
and I don't need any distractions.
I mean, sometimes you need
a good distraction, though, right?
Hey, look, come on.
What?
In the car, get in the car.
What's going on?
No, just go, go, go.
Hey.
Porsha said you were going out tonight,
so I thought I'd work on
some stuff for the relaunch.
I can pack it up though.
You're fine.
Just keep doing whatever
it is that you're doing.
I'm just gonna sit right here.
Rough day?
You have no idea.
I think I'm a trap queen now.
What?
Nevermind.
Why are men such trash, Jabari?
They're either narcicisstic, insecure
or they just crazy.
Maybe just the ones you're picking.
Trust me, I've had a
variety of all kinds,
they're all crazy.
They can't all be crazy, Simone.
99.9%.
Everybody except for you.
You're one of the good ones.
So your little experiment
ain't going well, huh?
It's that bad?
"Game of Thrones" finale bad.
That's pretty bad.
Well, I hate to make it worse,
but you should see this.
Is this your queen?
Miss Simone Starr, relationship guru,
slutting around town
with your local thugs,
but you was just trying to
hunch on me last week though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got all the receipts.
We was good.
We was hot and heavy until she found out
I was a bisexual.
Whole vibe changed.
I mean, like homophobic much, Miss Starr?
Let this be a warning to all of y'all.
Don't ever play with my feelings
unless you wanna get exposed.
You know what?
Hmm?
I don't even care.
People are gonna believe what
they wanna believe anyway.
I'm spent.
You told me it was real in these streets,
I was not ready.
Yeah.
Well, maybe the man you need
is right under your nose.
They trying tell me
Tell me that I'm good without you
Just stay with the things
that make you feel good
But I don't see it saving me
Pretty on the shelf
It's clear to see that I
can see right through it
Look and search
Being all illusive
That's why all I want
for Christmas is you
Ain't nobody else
gonna love me like you
Not entertaining lots of new mysteries
All the fairytales
All I want for Christmas is you
Oh why, why, why
Try, try, try
To hide, hide
Behind the lie
We just wanna look good,
craving my attention
We don't know when to stop
So we keep going til we drop
Let me tell you about a little thing
That I know of
It can give you anything you need
All I want for Christmas is you
Ain't nobody else
gonna love me like you
Not entertaining lots of the mysteries
Or the fairytales
All I want for Christmas is you
Yeah, yeah, I got you, you got me
We gonna hold it down
Hey, got my squad, family
No one else around
Hey, I'm feeling best
So I give them things,
we one of a kind
You cannot replace
God, I need no upgrade
He made us new, no update
And I'm hoping that you stick around
Just stay in a circle
We are connected just like
When y'all feel like
You're keeping me grounded
You're showing me love
And taking me up
I'm glad that you found me, found me
All I want for Christmas is you
Ain't nobody else
gonna love me like you
Not entertaining lots of the mystery
Or the fairytales
I don't know if he's Mr. Right,
but he's definitely Mr. Right Now.
Hold on, y'all, say hi to him.
These are my besties I
was telling you about.
Hey, what's going on, y'all?
Wait, hold on, y'all,
let me take this.
Hey Carmen, what's up?
Good news, Bonita,
the sponsors want you
back for next week's show.
I know you're in Bali,
I just need you back in the
states by Tuesday, okay?
Sure, no problem, I'll be there.
Okay, perfect.
Enjoy the rest of the trip.
Thank you, Carmen.
How many women were there, Khalil?
I can't say.
Wow.
That many, huh?
I apologize for hurting you, Simone.
Was it worth it?
Was it worth throwing away
everything we worked hard for?
I had to grow as a man,
and unfortunately you were
a casualty of that growth.
Now I'm not proud of what I did,
but I don't regret it either.
Maybe I was naive to believe
that I'd be with my
college sweetheart forever.
This is not your fault, Simone.
You did everything you needed to do,
it's just we outgrew each other,
and that's okay.
I just don't want you to hate me.
I just never envisioned
my life without you.
I loved you.
I thought we were prefect,
but I guess it's all a facade.
That's not true.
I never lied about my feelings for you.
I truly loved you,
it's just you weren't enough.
Whoa, slow down, Sim.
That's like your fifth shot.
Yeah, friend, I ain't
seen you drink like this
since Mardi Gras 2015,
and, uh, nobody wanna relive that.
I'm fine.
Matter of fact, fuck Khalil.
King Khalil.
You know what, if it wasn't for me
and Jabari's idea to start this podcast,
he'd still be an old dusty,
incense selling Khalil from the west side.
Porsche, cut her off.
Copy that.
I want,
I want another shot.
I'm about to take you home,
you in here acting like a
drunk cartoon character.
Yeah, get miss mama home safely
'cause she's torn up.
Yeah, I got her.
Come on, Lawanda.
Jabari, you're so sweet.
Let's go.
Get the jacket.
I got it, just walk.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, figured y'all would be here.
Khalil, why you always
everywhere I'm at?
Please, stop stalking me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I got it from here, bro.
You think I'm gonna trust her with you?
Nah.
Nah, bro, what me and
Simone got going on,
ain't none of your business.
This is my girl.
You play your position, friend zone.
That's not your girl no more, Khalil.
Right.
See, you forgot what you did.
You forgot what you said on that live.
Right.
Captain Simp Capes again.
Look, you can say
whatever you want about me-
- Mm-hmm.
But I know a low value nigga like you
will never bother me.
Oh, nigga, you bothered.
You hella bothered.
Nah.
Not at all.
Simone.
Damn.
What's going on out here?
Where's Simone?
She left.
By herself?
Yeah, she must have called a ride share.
Friend, when you gonna
tell Simone how you feel?
What?
Man, what are you talking about?
Jabari, I know I act crazy,
but I aint no damn fool.
And I see the way you been looking at her,
and it's the same way you was
looking at her since college.
You in love, bro.
Benny, you must be drunk, all right,
you talking crazy.
Facts, I am drunk,
but I know what I'm saying.
And all that soft shit,
it don't work nowadays.
You'll have to shoot your shot, bro.
Man, Simone's on some
whole other stuff right now.
You talking about
them niggas on that app?
She don't like none of them niggas.
And, she's still maintaining
her low body count.
Don't judge, my friend.
You and God know her heart.
She a good girl.
Plus, she going through some things.
But, maybe this is the universe
opening up the doors for you.
Don't miss out on your love, bro.
Now, I am about to go get another drink,
and go see what this Latin boy
is talking about at the bar,
all right?
For the
I'm a beast, I'm a beast
I ain't no snack, it's a feast
Real fat, obese
This shit poppin' like grease
Take a number two on the beat
Heart so cold, need heat
Used to have a nigga on a leash
On a leash
Gave his ass back to the streets
Back to the streets
Gave his ass back to the streets
Make him do a trick for the treat
Tell that boy sit
Gave his ass back to the streets
Gave his ass back to the streets
One thing about me, ima eat
Ima eat
Take
Heel like a dog, heel like a dog
Bad bitch, I don't give a shit
Body super thick
Fit me grip, barking like
a pit, make a doggy sit
He a trick, make him spend a grit
Bitch I hit the lick
If he don't buy me what I want
Then I throw a fit
His money
Heard him say
Six million dollars,
that's a whole lot of yeeze
Had to work for a minute
Pull up in a stingray
Inside all white like green day
Got the body of a goddess
Butt naked looking back like
Fuck a bad bitch
I'm a beast, I'm a beast
I ain't no snack, it's a feast
Pops real fat, obese
This shit poppin' like
grease, like grease
Take a number two on the beat
Heart so cold need heat
Used to have nigga on
a leash, on a leash
Gave his ass back to the streets
Gave his ass back to the streets
Gave his ass back to the streets
Make him do a trick for
the treat, for the treat
Tell that boy sit, take a seat
Gave his ass back to the streets
Gave his ass back to the streets
One thing about me, ima eat
Take a
Thanks Steve, I'm on
location in front of
the Federal Trade Commission
in downtown Atlanta where we just received
breaking news from our news room.
There's been a raid at the offices of
the crypto currency exchange Coin Stock
in Atlanta, Georgia.
I'm throwing it to Donna Pierre,
who's live on the scene.
Donna, can you tell us
what's going on out there?
Thanks, Kevin, we've been
here for about 30 minutes,
and we've seen several FBI agents
go into the building
and bring out boxes full of files.
They have declined to make
a comment at this time,
but we'll wait until they're
ready to make a statement.
Oh, it looks like they're
bringing someone out.
Someone is actually being
detained at this moment.
We can't see who it is,
but, oh my goodness, Kevin,
it is the CEO of Coin Stock
that has been detained
here, Chadwick Bainbridge.
He's in handcuffs.
And we've just heard
that Coin Stock offices
in Miami and New York
are also being raided.
Agents are in route to confiscate
Mr. Bainbridge's other assets,
three houses,
and six luxury cars here in Atlanta.
Can you turn it to
something else, please?
News of a raid at Coin Stock
right here in Atlanta.
Just turn it off.
Chadwick
Bainbridge is in handcuffs.
Thanks.
Y'all, this hoe life just ain't for me.
Yeah, you're not cut
out for the streets, sis.
I mean, you live and you learn.
That was the goal, right?
Did I though?
I already knew that the dating pool
was full of pee.
I just jumped my ass right up in it.
I mean, it's better than
chasing behind Khalil old nasty ass.
You had your fun,
and you got some much needed nasty time.
So what's the problem?
I'm just gotta date myself for a while,
it's safe.
So, um, if you're not gonna use it,
can I get the contact info for prison bae?
Oh.
'Cause, child-
- Right.
I'm sure you're trying to
get sugar daddy number,
but she's playing.
I know that.
Y'all can have my phone.
It was definitely a wild ride,
with lots of twists and turns,
but no, I don't feel like every woman
needs a hoe phase,
but I do believe that every woman
should go through a self love phase.
Loving yourself is the only way
to truly find your own happiness.
The thing about love
is you can't force it,
and you can't limit it.
It's out of our control.
Love is something that doesn't
come always when you want it,
but it's right there when you need it.
This is the Black Love
and Liberation Podcast.
And we're your hosts, Simone Starr
and the King Khalil.
Your guide to love and light
coming soon to your favorite network.
See you guys next week.
Hey.
What's up?
Sorry I pulled off
on you the other night.
I just didn't want anymore drama.
No, I was childish for even
going back and forth with dude,
so that's on me.
Thanks for always having my back.
You're a really good friend.
Yeah, well, you know I always got you.
I'm seeing you at the
Christmas party later, right?
Now you know Carmen be having
all the little celebrities
at her function.
Bet.
Well, I have to go,
you know, I have my class in like an hour.
Jabari, how long you gonna be in school?
Damn, you can't learn everything.
Yeah, well I'm gonna learn
as much as they let me.
I'll see you.
Bye.
Hey, um, can we talk for a second?
Khalil, we have nothing to talk about.
Simone, what if,
what if I wanted to fix this?
Really?
You hurt me way too much for that.
Simone, I made a mistake,
I fucked up,
but why don't we do what
we tell our followers
and our views and try to fix this?
Because we have way too much history
just to watch it go to waste.
And that's exactly what
it is, history, the past.
If you could disrespect
and humiliate me like that,
then our history really
never meant anything to you.
Now, I'm gonna continue
hosting this podcast with you
for the sake of my career,
but you'll never be with me again.
So, what, you're just gonna
run up your body count on this dating app?
Maybe I will, maybe I won't,
but what I do with this box
is no longer your concern.
Yes, I am here, honey.
Now we can start the party.
Ooh, nuh-uh, Miss Simone Starr,
I'm gonna need some Christmas cheer
or some holiday spirit, boo.
The face is beat, the body is snatched,
and the titties are perky,
but the attitude not giving.
I'm just not feeling
it right now, Benny.
Well, you need to
get like Miss Porsha over there.
She looking like she about to unwrap
a whole man sized Christmas gift.
No thank you.
I think I'm taking a break on dating.
That's a good idea.
You did a lot this month,
a break is exactly what you need.
Or, maybe not.
Hmm?
Mm-mm.
Okay.
You clean up nice.
I haven't seen you in real
clothes since graduation.
Whatever, man.
Simone here?
Yeah, she here.
You ready though?
I don't know, man.
I mean, maybe it's not such a good idea.
Brai, listen, no negative vibes.
Big dick energy only.
Okay, okay.
All right?
So look, stand right here,
and I'll be right back.
Ugh.
What is he doing?
That's your friend.
Take some shots, bro, come on.
Ugh, that's not good.
Why do I get the feeling
that he wants us to talk?
Well, I got something I gotta say,
and I just need you to hear me out.
Ask me out already, damn, Jabari.
Wait, what?
I like you too.
I've been waiting for you to ask me out.
For real?
Yes, boy.
I mean, that's if you'll still have me.
Look, I know I've been a
little out of character
these last few weeks.
Yeah, well, I know that's not you,
you're just going through some things.
I'm not gonna lie though,
it was killing me.
You're a really good friend.
Well, I don't know what to say now.
Say whatever you were gonna say before.
I wanna hear it.
What I was gonna say
was that you know I always
had a soft spot for you
ever since that first little awkward date.
It was definitely awkward.
And before I had the
courage to ask you out again
Khalil came along,
and you seemed happy.
I didn't wanna mess that up.
Well y'all cute.
So I guess operation hoe phase
is officially over.
Girl, it was over I
had to run from the FBI.
Never let me do anything
crazy like that again.
Matter fact,
no more app, no more crazies.
Yeah, no more app.
Cross my heart.
Okay.
Speak for yourself.
I just made my profile last week,
and, uh, my page poppin.
Might need me a hoe phase myself.
Benny, you been a hoe
for the last 10 years,
what the fuck is you talking about?
Shade.
That's our song.
On the beat
'Cause I didn't wanna
do Christmas without you
I ain't wanna
I ain't wanna do Christmas without you
I ain't wanna do Christmas without you
Without, without your love
I ain't want it without you
We not together this season
I know that it hit you
She be with them
But she say she still
know I'm that nigga
She always call 'cause she said
That I'm always gonna get her
I got you
Now ain't it funny how it goes
It's so strange how could life change
I heard the reason you left it
Wasn't the right thing
I would have let you be a star
And I'm the hype man
Let me give it to the hype man
You the woman I always
need in my life man
Say what's the cost
I'll be down just to pay the price man
And when it's dark you can
always bring me to life man
I wanna shine like you
Remember last year
You gave me a list of
all the gifts you wanted
Yeah, I was on it
IG so you can really flaunt it
Your man
All them gifts was on you
I was on too
You got me everything
I wanted plus more
What's more
Crazy never really see what's in store
Just store
All the feelings that
you have for us boy
'Cause oh boy what's after
me is really after me
And you could never really
I don't wanna do Christmas without you
I ain't wanna
I ain't wanna do Christmas without you
'Cause I ain't wanna do
Christmas without you
Without, without your love
I ain't want it without you
I left home when I was 17
Probably searching
for what it better be
Bright lights
They just probably
looking for better things
Had to adjust for what
the weather brings
Lonely nights just got
me reflecting things
Like I'm proud of my brother David
He selling cribs now
We used to ride around with Shameka...