1/2 New Year (2019) Movie Script

[upbeat music playing]
We're all a family.
You know?
- To us.
- All: Cheers.
We're a weird
tight-knit group
of fucked up people
who found each other
in this town.
Reed: Hey, Reed Worlders!
Thank you so much for tuning in!
I hope that you are liking
the festival coverage
this summer
that we've had so far.
I have so much more
coming up for you
including an interview with
The Rift & Le Youth!
So look forward to that
in the next few weeks.
Also, this weekend is
1/2 New Year.
it's the last Saturday
in June.
So make sure
you celebrate with
your friends.
You have six months in,
you got six months more to go.
All of my shows
are now gonna be brought to you
by Infinite CBD,
which is my favorite CBD oil,
and I'm putting the link
down in the bio
as well as a little discount.
Go for it.
And make sure that you like,
subscribe and share.
[laughs] Oh.
What're you doing?
I was fucking...
- Ewe.
- Myself.
- Gross.
- No, I'm on a bike.
Well, what happened to
"I'll call you when I'm done"?
I know, I know,
it took forever.
And then my mom called,
so it was like this whole thing.
Got it.
Is it gonna be like
champagne time
or like shitty tequila,
straight from the bottle?
- Pop that bubbly.
- Damn.
Oh good.
Dude, I knew you'd crush it.
Thanks for helping me study.
Those flash cards saved my life.
Yeah. I'm the,
I'm the king of that...
flash carding and shit.
Soon it's gonna be like,
"Oh, our favorite vet tech,
Brynn, will take
your pup to the back now.
Can you just
surround me with puppies for
the rest of my life, please?
That's all I want.
Are you gonna die
an old dog lady?
Um, I mean, at this point,
it's the best case scenario.
So, yeah, probably.
I got the sponsorship.
- Shut the fuck up!
- I swear.
All you need to do
is just get a few more sponsors,
and then, like maybe in a year
you can quit your job.
- Uh. Things are happening.
- I know.
We're really doing it.
Uh, listen.
I'm gonna get ready.
- Okay, have fun on your bike.
- Bye.
- Fuck you.
- Mm-hmm.
- You're not dressed?
- I am skipping it, man.
Nah, it's not a good idea.
I'm not gonna let you isolate.
- So nice try.
- Look.
I don't need the whole world
that I fucked up,
- okay?
- All right.
But you're not the only person
who's ever gotten fired before.
And, also,
if I put the tail
between your legs,
it's kinda like
you have this like
lion dick thing,
like a hairy beefy,
like dick tail,
like a lion dick,
like a,
like a meat hairy cock lunch,
lion sandwich.
You're like the shittiest
version of Simba imaginable.
- Dude, please don't text her,
- Ah...
I gotta make one.
- [outgoing text tone sounds]
Who uses their birth date
as their passcode?
[incoming text tone sounds]
Well, she's in.
So, brush your teeth,
wash your face, get lion'd out
and, um,
let's have a nice party.
What do you say?
Huh? Huh?
I don't know how the fuck
you do this shit.
It's a gift and a curse.
Uh, drink time.
[music playing]
All right, guys.
Happy 1/2 New Year.
[music playing loudly]
Cheers. Woo!
Light it up.
Light it up!
[chanting] Light it up!
Don't you just love the way
LA brings people together.
Because, you know,
just, it has to do with,
you know, survival.
You know,
it really depends on that.
- You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah, absolutely.
Um... Well,
uh, you know what?
I need a, a drink.
Why don't
you go, go that way.
Just, yeah.
See you in a bit.
Oh, thank-- thanks.
- Nice one.
- Hi.
- Who was that?
- I have no fucking idea.
Where is Bishop?
- Uh, probably hiding.
- Probably hiding? Okay?
Uh, go pour
a shot down his throat
and find me later.
- Funny.
- Oh, funny.
I fricken love this life.
You look good
for a tiger.
Hiya Chilly.
Long time no see.
[background chatter]
Are you gonna...
Oh, you're so loud right now.
- Just shut up.
- Screening your calls?
- Oh.
- Oh.
Looks like
you didn't miss me much.
Oh my God!
You made it.
MM, you're late.
- Ooh.
- Ut oh.
I have got to go take this.
- Man about a horse.
- Take it.
- Girl?
- Drugs.
Oh, because this is such
a special occasion?
- Don't be Judgy.
- Yeah.
Well, drugs are bad, okay?
- [together] Mm.
You know that I work more than
80 hours a week, right?
Yeah, and I get maybe five times
a year that I get high?
- Five?
- And Coachella,
but that counts as one,
so it's still five.
Okay, you're being
annoying right now.
- Do you want to drink?
- Yes. Okay.
Let's go get you your own
'cause you can't have
that whole thing.
You're gonna be
puking later, and I'm not
cleaning that up again.
Fuck. You scared
the shit out of me, babe.
That's it.
I'm done.
What are you,
what are you talking about?
I saw you
getting into that same sedan.
Come on, babe.
That is not...
at all what it looks like.
Because this is what
it looks like.
I got it for the party.
I may do
a couple of lines
with Reed.
- That's it.
- That's what you said
last time.
And then you went on
a bender all night
and spent the next
morning crying in my lap
telling me how you don't
wanna do this anymore.
Look. I get it.
That is not
going to happen this time.
You said you wanted
to marry me.
I do want
to marry you, babe.
You're not the same
when you're all coked out.
You're a dick to me
and to all of your friends.
I don't want to spend the rest
of my life with that, Josh.
I don't even
want to be fucking friends
with that Josh.
- I am not that Josh.
- No, you're not.
And that's what
I'm afraid of.
[upbeat music playing]
- Yeah, baby.
- You're making a mess.
Bishop, get off my dick.
Everybody, yo!
- Happy 1/2 New Year.
- All: Woo!
You guys are super coked out
right now, huh?
We put things up our noses.
We enjoy our youth.
That's us.
That girl over there
is eye-fucking the shit
out of you.
I bet you 20 bucks
she's not wearing panties.
That's Megan.
She lives across the street.
- Okay, so hit it.
- She's not really my type.
If you do not fuck her,
we cannot be friends.
You can't live without me.
Half true.
What you got for me?
Um, Kevin Chandler
is single again.
- Mm-mm.
- Uh-huh.
- No.
- Uh-huh.
- What do I do?
- Uh, well considering
you're wearing panties,
just boomerang 'em
into his face.
- Ewe, that's gross.
- I need more of this.
Just be you.
- Okay.
- Okay?
- Go team.
- All right. Go get 'em, tiger.
- Lion.
- Rarrr.
Does it really
make you feel sexy?
Why, you wanna,
wanna have a little taste?
Wanna have a little taste?
Ooh! You crazy.
You gettin' crazy
up in here.
Oh, okay.
Up the shoot.
Up the shoot.
Dude, my sister
is right over there.
Fuck her.
That's, that's great.
- Bro.
- You should just continue to...
Okay, that's disgusting.
- Hey.
- Is not great.
Are you okay?
I'm fucking great.
- How you doing?
- I'm fine.
You just seem a little...
I'm a big fucking boy.
Okay, I'm just
checking on you.
Okay, stop doing so much.
Why don't you get a drink? Okay?
I'm gonna do
whatever the fuck
I want to do.
- All right, then.
- Okay? You hang tight.
Okay. I will.
And what
just went up your nose?
- My allowance.
- Be careful.
- Yes, dad.
- So...
what's your
1/2 New Year resolution?
Um, to get out
more to nature
- and get her off my phone.
- Yeah, that's happening.
It can happen.
What's yours?
Mm, stop eating hoagies.
- I'm getting fat ass.
- Again?
It can happen.
Guys, guys, guys, guys.
Ten, nine,
eight, seven, six,
five, four, three,
two, one...
Happy 1/2 New Year!
What's the matter?
Calm down.
- Calm down.
- I need everyone
- to get the fuck out.
- Dude, you're just...
- You don't fucking get it.
- Stop.
I don't want everyone
to see him like this.
Everyone outside
for the fireworks.
Chill out.
You all right?
Dude, chill out.
You're okay.
- Put down the fucking camera.
- No way, dude.
Dude, turn the camera off.
Dude, put down
the fucking camera.
I'm gonna show you this
when you're sober,
and you're gonna
fucking see it.
Stop, stop, stop.
What the fuck
is wrong with you?
You fucking crazy?
It's okay.
It's okay, babe.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I know, mom.
It's a 36 hour drive.
I did it five years ago,
Can you
not stress me out
right now?
I got a lot
of shit to do.
I got to go.
I love you.
Knock, knock.
Mom's gonna
drive me to drink.
What'd she say now?
She's worried about me
driving cross-country.
Well, then tell
mommy to pay to have all your
shit shipped over.
God, she has been begging you
to move home for five years.
If she wants something so bad,
maybe she should do it herself.
Still pissed at her?
I brought wine.
Want some?
The girls and I
are gonna watch Real Housewives
reruns and talk shit.
When was the last time you saw
me drinking anything alcoholic?
Maybe that's your problem, Reed.
You've been in this ridiculous
funk for almost a year.
And to be honest,
sometimes you're a real fucking
pain in the ass to be around.
- You can leave now, Pam.
- Ah, what?
a dose of reality
too hard for you?
By, Pam.
He's in a mood.
Be careful.
I know.
I know.
She's my sister.
She's just trying to help.
I get it.
- Yeah.
- I get it.
I brought tequila.
Just have a drink with me.
I have a lot of packing to do.
This might be the last time
we get to do this.
- You know we'll
still talk, right?
- Yeah, of course.
And then you'll get busy
and then I'll get busy,
and then it'll be
next year at the 1/2
New Year's party
and I'll be like,
"I don't know Reed. Who's Reed?"
That's not true.
- That's not true at all.
- Okay.
So get your dick
out of your pussy and have
a drink with me.
- Glasses, ice?
- All of the above.
There's this one time
this girl pulled her hair.
- Scary.
- Whoa.
Come hangout with us, Reed.
Um, Brynn's
gonna help me pack.
You know you
could always say fuck packing
and just stay here in LA.
Softer touches.
He needs a swift kick
in the ass.
Shut up.
Bishop's studying.
Your boyfriend's a dork.
I know.
- Finally.
- Hmm.
You gonna fold my clothes
for me or what?
- You wish.
- I pour.
That's more than enough.
You can finish
the rest of this.
- To your life in LA.
- Yes.
Though it was paved with
heartbreak and a mass layoff,
it was for filled with
a lot of great memories.
And you'll always
have a home here.
And I'm drunk.
With Blake and Bishop.
- And Josh.
- Hey.
[upbeat music playing]
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Is there coffee?
- French roast.
Oh, you're too good to me.
Avocado toast?
Oh, you did it
the way I like it.
Is everything
ready for tonight?
Yeah, yeah just,
uh, you know,
decorations, DJ,
just need help setting up.
Where is everyone?
They're still sleeping.
What about the surprise?
Right, uh...
I think he'll love it.
You know, he'll pretend
to hate it, but he'll love it.
You know,
I still love you, right?
Nothing's changed.
Yeah, I know.
This is so fucked up.
It was just the whiskey.
This is the fifth time.
I know that.
- Was it me?
- Obviously not.
Well, last year,
we were all over each other.
So, what, you're
saying you liked me better
when I needed a bump
- in the morning to get going?
- I don't know.
What do you want me to say?
It was better then.
It's still good.
We haven't had sex in a month.
Look. I'm just going through
some shit right now, okay?
We'll get back on track.
I'm sure we will.
I think we should break up.
And why are you in my bed?
I can't hear you.
I'm pretending to sleep.
You know the rules.
No sex, no bed.
Where'd we end up last night?
Did you blackout?
You don't remember anything?
It's foggy.
We finished
four bottles of wine.
Oh, fuck.
Why did you let me do that?
I have so much packing to do.
You're so loud.
I got a pee.
Just don't be a crybaby.
- Oh my God!
- Oh my God!
- You're a pig!
- I'm sorry.
What the fuck
did you do to my sister?
- He didn't do anything to me.
- You mean, you let him?
What's it to you?
Fucking Marty?
Oh, I have seen the girls
you've boned.
You let him bone you?
- You're fucking dead.
- Out!
So, like what happened?
- What do you mean?
- Ah, we were on the couch,
we're watching a movie,
and then...
Yeah, and then you passed out
on the couch,
and I took a vantage
of your empty bed so.
But then I woke up
and I came in here?
Yeah, I guess. I don't know.
I was pretty drunk, too.
Oh, okay.
Um, well, I have a lot
of packing to do.
And I have boot camp.
You know Pam.
I do.
Um, I'll see you tonight.
Yeah, I'll see you tonight.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Get me stoned,
get me a hoagie,
get me anything to get rid
of this hangover.
I think I'm gonna puke.
I have sex dick.
Sex dick?
I don't understand.
I mean,
why would she just...
Hello, sex dick?
English please.
Pam, it's latex, lube,
bodily fluids
on your business.
You had sex with Brynn.
I don't remember any of it.
This is a good thing.
I always knew you guys
would end up together.
She was gonna walk out
and act like nothing happened.
I'll talk to her.
No, you won't talk to her.
You won't say anything.
You won't say anything
to any of the girls,
- to anyone else.
- Fine!
My lips are sealed.
Can I borrow a shirt of yours?
No. We just broke up.
I'm not gonna let you
borrow anything.
My dress smells like beer.
Oh, oh, really?
So you're 13 now?
I'm gonna try
and get some sleep.
Hey, I don't care
if you're naked.
Bishop, what the fuck?
I'm out.
Oh, okay.
Get your ass up,
brush your teeth,
wash your bones.
One of those is not optional,
by the way.
Come out here and help me.
And, what the hell
was that?
- Nothing.
- Okay.
You're lying to me.
Get up.
We got shit to do.
[music playing]
Hey, Reed rollers, it is
with a heavy heart
that I'm announcing
that I'm going to be
moving out of LA
and back to my hometown
of Philadelphia.
Thank you all so much
for all of your support.
I can't wait to see
what the future holds
because, um...
I don't know.
But it should be fun so.
There we go.
Are you making jungle juice?
Summer beer.
It's so hot out.
So you're really having
this party tonight, huh?
Uh, yeah.
It's tradition, man.
- And you know...
- You don't break tradition.
I know.
Look. It's your last one.
We're doing this for you.
I just don't want
to have to explain
to a million people
that I'm leaving.
Just tell 'em
you want to be closer
to your family.
Okay, then don't say that.
It's just not fun to admit
that you're a failure.
Dude, you're not a failure.
You're just...
You're just broke, okay?
So go home, save up,
and come back.
I mean, does anyone
listen to me?
You don't just go home
and come back.
You get ties, you get a job,
you get responsibilities.
You just
become my parents,
Can you at least fake a smile?
Like a small one?
It's gonna be fun.
I promise.
- I'll be in my room.
- Dude.
I can't get through to him.
I know.
You know,
Josh would know what to say.
I know.
Can I get you anything else?
Well, that just cured
my hangover.
Ooh, that guy is salty.
Be still my ovaries.
Did you see him
eye fuck your tits?
Why didn't he do it with mine?
Um, you have
marijuana porn on your shirt.
I've hit rock bottom.
Okay. I'm circling
what everyone owes,
23% tip included,
20% is normal
but 3% extra
because I mean,
look at him.
You're like a sexy rain man.
I'm just smarter
than your average bear.
Okay, you need to leave
your number on the table
- when we go.
- No, don't do that.
No, I'm not in the mood.
All right. I'm just
gonna call him over here
and tell him
that Brynn wants to do very
dirty things to him.
- She slept with Reed.
- What, Reed?
Why didn't you tell us?
Because he said
he didn't remember.
- Are you sure?
- He honestly doesn't remember.
And told you
all the details of something
he doesn't remember.
- Mm-hmm.
- No, he sort of figured it out.
Have you girls
ever heard of sex dick?
[music playing]
This is crazy.
[knocking on door]
Hi. Um, I may have
the wrong house.
I'm looking
for a Josh Mackey.
You're Blake, right?
I had an entire premonition
about this
during our meditation today.
I'm so glad to see you.
Come here.
I can tell by your aura
that you're a good person,
very compassionate and I,
I know you're
going to do the right thing.
Thank you.
Yeah. I could see that.
It's a greenish purple,
by the way.
Your aura, yeah.
Okay. Um, I'm gonna run.
Call me later, okay?
- Bye.
- Bye.
You look good, man.
Thanks man. Same.
How'd you, uh,
how'd you know
where to find me?
Bishop's been
talking to your mom so.
- Yeah.
- She gave us the address.
Of course she did.
I'm so rude, man.
Come on in.
- Please.
- Yeah. Absolutely.
This place is great.
Thank you, man.
Thank you.
It's, uh,
it's a quiet neighborhood,
but it's so nice here.
Yeah, it's a lot nicer
than ours actually.
Well, I mean,
you live in a child's
playpen so.
So are you
gonna ask me or...?
What're you talking about?
Come on, man.
Look. I'm not,
I'm not on any medication,
and I'm, I'm doing okay,
I'm doing better,
and, um,
fuck man,
I just want to,
I just wanted to say sorry
for so long.
Listen man, no judgment.
All right.
I was in a pretty shitty
spot last year myself.
I appreciate that.
The hippie chick was cute.
Uh, no she's,
she's been, uh,
pretty she's been
pretty pivotal.
It's a long story though.
Reed's moving back to Philly.
And you really think he's going?
He lost his job.
He lost his sponsorship.
He could use somebody
to talk to, actually.
You come over here to,
to ask me to just waltz back
into a party and just be like,
"Hey Reed,
uh, what happened sucked
and, you know,
you should just stay because,
because I'm here."
Not in those words,
but yeah, I do.
Look man.
I, I really appreciate
you swinging through.
You know
we all want you there.
You know you should be there.
And if not,
well, maybe we'll see you
in another year.
[cell phone ringing]
Oh hi, it's you.
I was just thinking about you.
So how'd it go?
Okay, I need you
to close your eyes,
now in that darkness,
I want you
to look at your soul.
And I want you
to talk to your soul...
Okay, okay,
I'm gonna be right over, okay?
I'll bring all your favorite
warm calming oils
and essentials.
It'll be great, okay?
Now don't isolate.
Come on.
This is what I'm here for.
We've already been doing this
for 19 minutes and 35 seconds.
Isn't that enough time
to make a difference?
You counted that in your head?
I can't help it.
It just happens.
I can't believe Reed's leaving.
We begged him to stay.
- Like it's that easy.
- Just don't even think about
getting into
a long-distance
What's so bad about a
long-distance relationship?
Everything. No kissing.
No cuddling, no fucking.
- It sucks.
- And no sucking either.
Why are you
in such a bad mood anyways?
I'm in a great mood.
I'm too old for this shit.
Who wants a beer?
- I'll make mimosas.
- I'll help.
Hey! I'm not done
with you skinny bitches yet.
- You're doing great.
- Hey, does anybody
want to go halfsies
on some blow tonight?
I thought you stopped doing that
when you and Blake got together?
Yeah, well,
Blake and I broke up so.
Get me a fucking drink.
How you feeling?
Are you feeling good?
That's right...
You are doing
a terrible job at packing.
You know that, right?
Are you here to help
or to judge?
Can you YouTube packing?
We should do drugs.
I don't mess with
that shit anymore.
Maybe some shrooms,
maybe some molly.
I do still talk to the Messiah.
Yeah, yeah,
let's go see him.
Okay, fine.
But don't be weird.
I'm not weird,
you're weird.
- You're always weird.
- I'm not weird at all.
You're being weird right now
calling me weird.
No, your face is weird.
Come on.
I just don't understand
why a drug dealer...
- Stop it.
- ...would call himself
the Messiah.
Look bro,
that's his real name.
You're lying to me.
His mother actually thinks
he's Jesus reincarnated.
- That's ridiculous.
- It's, it's insane.
Oh, I love him.
- My friends.
- Messiah.
Come, sit.
Tell me,
how was your
constipation enema?
Um, that wasn't us.
Thanks for seeing us
on such short notice.
Same as last time?
Yeah, something fun.
Ah, yes.
The good shit.
Only the finest
from the Messiah's fault.
I have the cocaine.
I have the ecstasy.
I have the angels dust...
Angel, angel dust?
- Do people still do that?
- Oh, yes.
Oh, I think I met him.
That kind of makes sense.
- The mushrooms.
- Um...
Those are always a good time,
especially in the jungle.
- Yeah they, they are.
- Yeah.
I think we're gonna
stick with, um, the weed,
uh, some molly,
and, um,
maybe just
throw in a bag of coke,
small bag of coke.
- Why are you doing coke?
- Shut up.
So tell me Blake,
why did you
and Isabella break up?
Excuse me, what?
The Messiah knows all.
Are we friends?
- Add me.
- Okay.
Love Facebook.
It just wasn't meant to be.
That's it.
All things
are meant to be, my son.
You're like
two years older than we are.
The Messiah has no age.
We both wanted it to end,
so it ended.
That's, that's it.
Sometimes things have to end
before they can have
a new beginning.
Oh my God.
You're Deepak Chopra
under there, aren't you?
Fuck that soggy fuck.
You know,
it's like the great
Will Smith always says,
"If it ain't broke,
don't try to fix it."
- Oh yeah.
- He did.
- He does say that.
- Yeah, he did say that.
- Yeah.
- Um, so we're gonna pay.
Do you have cash on you?
Why do I have to pay?
I bought you that coffee
before we got here.
That was like three dollars.
It's not gonna be three dollars.
- Why do I always have to get...
- Let this be a gift for you.
In exchange,
you let me grace you
with my presence
at your party.
Yes, that'd be amazing.
Thank you.
Thank you, Messiah.
- Thanks.
- Sweet.
I'm glad you
finally slept with Brynn.
You know,
when one commits
to one path,
often another one
falls in front of you.
Okay. Uh,
my meter's running.
See you tonight.
Thank you again.
I'll bring my dancing shoes.
No, no, no, no.
I hate that color.
- I like that color.
- It's too dark for her.
What're you talking about?
Everyone looks good in black.
You've never worn black
in your life.
I'm quoting you.
Why are you being
so argumentative?
Why are you being
such a bitch?
Okay, one, because
me being a bitch
makes your life more
you're welcome.
And two, I broke up with
my boyfriend today.
What's your excuse?
Bishop proposed.
That's great news, right?
He proposed
and he didn't get you a ring?
- He has it.
- Because
you've said no?
Well, I didn't say yes.
It was beautiful
and he was so sweet
but everything
flashed before me,
a house, kids.
And all of a sudden,
you don't want that anymore?
No. I do, it's just
once you do it
you're kind of stuck.
What if I get depressed?
What if he gets cancer?
- What if her first kid gets...
- Okay, we get it.
Did you guys breakup?
No, of course not.
I love him.
I think maybe
if I really loved him,
I'd be able to do this.
Okay. I just have to say,
I do not support this at all.
- Izzie.
- No. This is just
like senior year.
- This is nothing like that.
- What happened senior year?
- That was totally different.
- She got a B- on her midterm.
Took her whole GPA down,
and she quit.
- And she took off a semester.
- And I came back
and I busted my ass
to make it up.
You were
a semester behind.
You were afraid of graduating,
afraid of any change.
But you and Bishop don't have
anything to be scared of.
Of course they do.
Sometimes you're gonna fight.
And sometimes you're gonna be
really fucking bored
and one time
you might come home
and he's watching porn
instead of fucking you.
- Izzie!
- My point is
you were scared
of graduating, too.
And life after college
hasn't been perfect either.
But look at you.
You're doing it.
So what do I do now?
Mr. Deluca,
I've been a very naughty...
[gasps, screams]
I'm sorry.
I had no idea.
I thought you were Reed.
No, no,
definitely not Reed.
He left a bit ago.
Okay, then,
I'll just wait for him.
You really don't
have to wait in here.
Yeah, I'm gonna wait.
You're gonna wait.
You're gonna wait.
All right. Cool.
- 'Kay bye.
- Yeah.
- Whoa.
- Oh, Reed. Hey.
What're you doing in my room?
Right, room.
Um, it's your room. Right.
I was putting boxes in there.
- Okay. Okay.
- Yeah.
- What's the matter with you?
- Look. Megan's in there.
- Great.
- Okay.
She's dressed
in some sort of weird...
Are you into some
like Catholic thing?
- What's your deal?
- No.
You're asking
a lot of questions.
You really don't want
to know the answer to these,
- okay? I'll handle it.
- All right.
You get in there.
Get that extra credit, buddy.
All right.
Why didn't you call me?
I don't know how many times
I have to tell you this,
I'm sorry,
but we're not together.
Tell me you missed me.
I haven't missed you.
Daddy lies.
Okay, Reed is not your daddy,
and Reed is very serious.
You miss my boobies,
don't you?
- Look at them.
- Look.
I don't know
how else to tell you--
look at me--
I don't know else
to tell you this, okay.
- It's not gonna happen.
- Shush.
- No, no, no, no.
- Stop.
No no.
Just don't fight it.
- Megan...
- Just don't fight it.
- Megan...
- Just don't fight it.
- Don't do it.
- Don't you fight it.
- Don't do it.
- Don't you fight it.
Can you stop?
Stop stop no.
- Stop.
- Ugh!
- Okay. All right.
- Oh my God.
- Are you okay?
- I'm okay.
- Okay?
- I need ice.
- Okay.
- Get out of my way.
- All right.
- Get out of my face.
Megan, let me help you.
I'm... Oh...
- Okay, I'm so good.
- Okay.
- I am so good.
- Okay.
I'll see you later, okay?
Not... Bye.
- I'll see you later.
- Yeah, see you later.
- Okay, um.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- See you.
- Twice in one day, huh?
- Bishop, not now. Wait.
What do you mean.
Dude, everyone knows
you slept with Brynn.
[music playing]
Just let me get
just one piece.
You look good.
This is the same as
in high school.
No, it's not the same, man.
Just move one second.
What is that?
What was that?
- [knocking on door]
- Yo.
- Is it done?
- Uh...
Yeah, I just need the girls.
Um, anything else?
Yeah, what you got there?
It's just molly, man.
It's not hard stuff.
How many you got?
You gonna babysit me all night?
No. man, I'm not,
I'm not trying to I just,
you know, I want one.
For what?
To take.
Are you fucking with me
right now?
Look. I know it seems like
I have everything together,
but I don't.
Look, Bishop.
I just don't
think it's a good idea,
all right?
It's gonna be fine.
Shit, man. All right,
just take half, okay?
They're strong.
Half, right?
[music playing]
All right.
Hand it over.
Everybody say,
"Happy 1/2 New Year."
Happy 1/2 New Year.
How're you doing?
Are you okay?
I'm just breathing.
Well, that's good.
Keep that up.
This is fucking weird.
Let me see it
before you post it.
I love this.
We're almost ready.
We might actually
be on time this year.
I like the second one.
Will you text that one to me?
Holy shit.
I look fucking banging.
You guys, I can't go.
I feel like I'm gonna be sick.
[music playing]
[music playing]
I'm gonna miss you.
You're so cute.
When's your last day?
It's not gonna be the same
without you.
- So soon!
- I know it sucks.
So when are you leaving?
I'm gonna get a drink.
I'll see
you guys in a sec, okay?
Always loved him.
Okay, I think...
he spotted you.
So go talk to him.
I just don't
want to overwhelm him
right now, you know?
Now if you don't do this,
then you're
just another creeper
of the party.
All right.
Ugh, God
Blake, Look. Shit.
Everything's so bright in here.
- Did you take a half--
- Hold on a second.
This music... Is it me?
Am I amusing?
- No, you are not amusing.
- Help me find an orange tree.
I have to make oranges.
We don't need oranges right now.
Does anyone want to tell me
why Josh is here?
Yeah, um...
Everything's gonna be great.
Okay, just love each other.
We all came from
a vagina. Okay?
It would've been really nice
if you would've warned me, okay?
Everything's gonna be fine.
- It's gonna be awesome.
- Reed, come on, man.
- See what you did, Bishop.
- I didn't do shit.
Can you just calm down, man?
I'm calm.
All right?
You stop breathing
so damn heavy.
I got to go.
Is this a chalkboard
or a window.
Kyle, give me that cigarette.
You got a light?
Thank you.
So you're a smoker now?
What're you doing here?
I came to see you.
I heard you were leaving.
You were correct.
I think you're making
a big mistake.
Your opinion means nothing.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
It doesn't.
No, doesn't.
Was this your big plan,
coming to the other party
and cornering me
so I couldn't make
a big scene?
It's not even like that.
I just...
- I just came to see you.
- Cool.
Well, maybe you could've texted
first or send me an email
or some sort of communication
instead of nothing
- for entire year.
- I know that you're upset.
- No man, being upset would mean
that I actually cared.
Pam, I think
you have a visitor.
- Oh my god. That's amazing.
- Look how cute he is.
Why can I just
have a one-night stand
like a normal person?
- I bought these for you.
- Listen Marty. I know--
Just take it slow.
No sweetie.
There is no slow.
We can try, right?
It's very simple.
I need a fuck buddy
and you
are right up my alley.
I don't care
if you're tired.
When I want to sex,
I want sex
and I need to get it.
So you can be at my beckon call,
do as I say,
and we have
a wonderful time.
Uh... Okay.
Uh, yeah, wow.
You're like fucking amazing.
And if you
fall in love with me,
we're done.
And seriously,
red roses?
What is this, prom?
Buy me something
I could use.
Like a Fendi bag.
Okay. Fendi bag.
Okay, yeah, yeah, all right.
Yeah, I could do that.
I wear six inch heels.
I know you
and my brother are--
we're friends,
but if he so much
as hears about this,
my entire shoe
goes up your ass.
You're not into that,
are you?
I mean, are you?
Mm, maybe.
I'm gonna go in now,
you wait here.
We, we should not
be seen together.
Uh, okay. Yeah.
- I'll count to 100-- Oh.
- No offense.
They're gorgeous.
Oh my God.
She's so hot.
[music playing]
Please excuse me.
I need to go change
my panties.
[music playing]
There you are.
Oh my God.
You taste like lavender.
- What's gotten into you?
- Nothing.
I'm good.
You look,
you look fucking hot.
You know, you look like...
Oh my God.
You're rolling.
- I'm not rolling. I'm standing
- Your pupils were huge.
This is how I look.
I mean,
my eyes are naturally
this big.
Look me in the eye
and tell me you didn't
take molly.
Okay, fine. Fuck it.
I took the molly.
Okay, but you know what,
I love it,
all right, and I love you.
That's all that matters.
- Who gave it to you?
- Who do you think
gave it to him?
I'm gonna kill your boyfriend.
he's not my boyfriend
- So I don't care.
- You don't touch him.
He's a national treasure, okay?
I'm all right.
You get out of here, girl.
You get.
[music playing]
Whoa, hey.
Hey, did you talk to Reed?
Yeah, but, man,
it's not the best time.
No, it's the greatest time.
That's a nice shirt.
Look. I'm just gonna
holler up later.
- That's it.
- No, you have to stay.
Okay, if you leave now, you're
gonna ruin the goddamn surprise.
But he clearly
doesn't want me here.
So what.
You know what?
If you fucking leave here,
you got to go through me.
- Come on.
- Look. I'm not gonna...
Make a move at me.
- Are you...
- Shit. How many are you?
How, how fucked up are you?
- Listen, man.
- Are you...
- What is your...
- Hey, we got to stay.
We staying.
Do you know whose this is?
I just picked it up.
Hey, ladies.
Oh, you look lovely.
Oh, are you surprised?
This is Whitney.
Josh's girlfriend.
- Did you just say Josh?
- Where is he?
Josh is fulfilling
his life's purpose tonight.
- Josh is making amends.
- Amends? What are you,
his life coach?
- here's my card...
- Oh.
I'm gonna
put my purse down
in Reed's room.
So you two are fucking, right?
- I didn't know you were here.
I just came to drop off
my purse.
No, it's um...
That's okay.
I saw Josh.
Are you okay?
Yeah, it's cool.
Reed, come on. It's me.
You can be honest.
Okay, uh, honesty...
Are we okay?
- Why wouldn't we be?
- Come on, Brynn.
- Don't do that.
Do what?
You tried to walk out
and act like nothing happened.
You didn't remember
anything that happened.
- Yeah,
but that wasn't my fault.
- Yeah, so fuck me, right,
for moving on
and just making things
normal again.
I've never had anything
like that happen before.
Please stop.
I'm trying to be honest.
What does it matter anyhow,
you're leaving?
You're being
a real bitch right now.
Calling me a bitch
like every other guy.
Act like a bitch
like every other girl.
Fuck you.
[music playing]
What the fuck
are you doing?
- You're being an asshole.
- What does it matter?
All right,
you're not my girlfriend.
He's all yours.
[knock on door]
Someone's in here.
What do you want?
Have you just been getting
fucked up all day?
No. Not really.
I have to pee.
Don't mind me.
Do you remember what you thought
the first time you saw me?
I thought you were trouble.
You liked it.
I know
I could be dangerous
with you.
So be dangerous with me.
Fuck me.
Right here,
I dare you.
You dare me?
What is this, seventh grade?
Take your pants off.
[knocking on door]
You know,
I just feel like
I'm the only person
working at this relationship.
I don't understand
why you're just being so cold.
You know, like
you turned your parents
against me.
I've been trying so hard
and you just sit here
you're not saying anything,
I just really think,
you know,
like you can work at it
like I want to work at it.
I just thought
we had something, you know,
like really special.
Yo, come on.
You been in there
15 minutes.
Stop doing drugs
in my bathroom.
Hey, buddy.
- What are you doing in there?
- Nothing.
Why are you being weird?
What are you hiding?
I got something
to talk to you about.
What's up?
You're like
the world's worst liar,
by the way.
- Oh hi.
- Hi.
Hi. You guys
getting the band
back together?
- Together: No. No.
- Okay. Just a question.
- I'm gonna go back
to the party.
- Okay.
What's up with that?
I think we both
just needed to make sure.
- Make sure of what?
- Nothing.
It's different.
- It's not the same.
- Okay.
Hey, man.
How long is this hallway?
Look. We only have
an hour and a half.
All right?
Oh my God. Do you think
we'll have enough time?
Oh, you stop that shit out.
Okay, you two
need to hash it out.
You need to stop being
a baby penis.
- Be a grown penis, okay?
- Okay.
You two have snuck this shit
behind my back all day,
- and it's fucked up.
- This is clearly
not the time for him.
No, it's perfect timing.
Okay, you got
five seconds to knock it off.
Look. I don't...
You two,
you need to go in
the bathroom,
seven seconds in heaven,
you don't need to make out,
but you
just need to fucking
make up, okay?
- You guys suck.
- Yeah, get in there.
There we go.
Dude, you're like MacGyver.
I know.
You know how long it took me
to do that?
- You're smart.
- I am.
- You are.
- I'm a genius.
Come on.
Not funny.
You better sip on that.
You're gonna be a hot mess
if you don't.
Drink to your reality.
I think
you actually told me that.
Yeah, that actually
does sound like something
I would say.
Bishop told me
you haven't done it yet.
It just didn't feel right.
This could be your only shot.
It's not like I'm never gonna
talk to him again so.
Brynn, he loves you.
I know.
Well, then don't do something
you're gonna regret.
Yeah, okay.
- Okay.
- All right.
Well, let's do this shit.
Let's go!
Let's go!
I killed y'all.
On the first try!
- Hey.
- Hey.
- I love you.
- I love you.
- Where's my ring?
- What?
My ring.
Where is it?
Oh, uh,
I keep it...
I keep it close to my heart.
Sell it.
I don't want to sell it.
No, I mean,
we don't need a pieces
of symbolical shit.
Sell it for Reed.
He's our family.
Yeah, but I mean,
what does that mean for us?
Bishop Miller...
- Bishop...
- What are you doing?
...Miller, wonderful man,
will you marry me?
Yes. I will marry you.
I said yes!
I said yes!
I'm sorry
for what happened.
If I could take that back,
I would.
Well, you can't.
I know that.
And as much as you're gonna
hate me for saying it,
I'm so glad that it happened.
I needed that wake-up call.
That's nice.
Dude, this time last year,
I had no idea who I was.
I lost my job,
Lindsay, the band.
I'm kind of where
you are right now.
So maybe I should
try and find myself
and be more like you.
Yeah, something like that.
It's a whole year.
here you are.
Where you been, man?
Different places.
For what?
depression, stress.
I didn't think
you'd go to rehab for that.
I tried to kill myself.
Twice before that night.
But I couldn't
go through with it.
It doesn't matter.
It's over now.
I could've helped you.
I could've done something.
There's just
some things that
you have to face
on your own.
You know?
There were so many times
when I just wanted,
you know,
to talk to you
or get your advice
and I couldn't do that.
So what,
you're just gonna
give up now?
That's not fair, man.
You don't know what's
been going on.
Oh, I got the Bishop's
cliff notes version.
- Okay.
- So.
I know everything.
Way too many details.
Oh God.
That motherfucker.
You can't leave here
with any regrets, man.
You can't be afraid
to ask for help
and you can't be
too stubborn to take it.
So you're a shrink now?
I've had lots of experience.
I really missed you, man.
Yeah, I missed you, too.
So it is like,
is it weird...
to like hug?
Yeah, it's fucking weird.
I was thinking that.
We'll just take
one step at a time.
Can I see your phone though?
Uh, yeah.
Straight to voicemail.
So my sister
doesn't give a shit.
Okay, well,
we could always
try screaming.
Yeah, we can Jedi mind trick
the door open.
Oh, okay.
That's gonna work.
- That might work.
- No, we should scream
- with like a...
- I don't feel like I should...
Tell me what to scream.
You could do--
you could go like--
just go like, low,
like a base,
and I'll be like...
- Uh...
- Hah...
- That's not screaming...
- You guys.
I just heard
that whole fucking thing.
It was super cute
and your guy's relationship
is really weird,
but I figured
I can let you guys out now.
Also, I just
had sex in the bathroom.
So there's a little bit
of me on you.
You're disgusting.
I love you.
- You're a gem.
- Oh by the way,
that girl
Whitney is insane,
so be careful.
Thank you.
Where'd you find her?
Um, I'm gonna get a drink.
Can you have one?
Yes, I can have a drink.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Where's that little Italian
sausage I love so much?
Megan, how's your face?
Oh, it's okay,
but you know
you could help me get better.
You could put your penis
into my vagina...
- a lot
- Okay, I can't do this.
Fine. You miss
my little boobies?
Big boobies...
They're very...
Megan, you don't want a guy
like me, okay?
I'm boring,
and I'm in love with
somebody else.
Oh, you mean Brynn.
Like everyone knows
that you're in love with Brynn.
- It's so not a big deal.
- No one knows that.
- That's bullshit.
- But listen.
We're cool.
I was just trying to fuck.
- Uh, what?
- Yeah,like I thought
this was a sure thing,
but lately,
you've been like
a major drag so.
Um, no hard feelings,
like let's just, you know,
and if you could just point me
in the direction of like
I don't know,
literally anything else
with a pulse that's like down.
You know what I mean?
- Oh, fuck yeah.
- You're a doll.
I like it.
Enjoy it.
You got to write that down.
That's a movie.
Am I living in the fucking
Twilight Zone?
Dude, you do not
wanna get into it with me about
- alternate universes and shit.
- No, I really don't actually.
- Reed, get in here.
- What?
[music playing]
[music stops]
Hey, you guys,
uh, real quick.
This is a special night,
you know,
it's our 1/2 New Year's
celebration party, right?
- [cheering]
- Right? Right? You love this.
Hell yeah! Sorry.
Um, but it's also
a special night because
we say goodbye
to our beloved Reed.
Reed, you've, you know,
you've influenced
all of us in many ways.
We love you, buddy.
I think I can speak
for all of us when I say,
we don't want you to go.
But, you know,
you gotta do what you gotta do.
But that doesn't mean
we can't send you off
with a gift.
There you go.
Reed, thank you for always
being the one to take charge
and keep us in line
and for never
being afraid of yourself.
We love you.
My baby brother,
I know you feel you need
to move home
and I told you 100 times
you could stay with me
till you get back on your feet,
but you're stubborn
like mommy.
So I support what you choose.
And even though
you're a fucking pain in the ass
to be around...
I'm gonna miss you,
Reed Deluca.
But, I know
when the time is right,
you'll be back.
Okay, turn it off.
Blake, turn it off.
hey buddy, um,
it's never a party without you.
So our parties
are obviously gonna suck.
And, um,
all seriousness,
uh, you always have
a home here,
and I'm gonna miss you, bud.
We're all a family.
You know, we're a weird
tight-knit group
of fucked up people
who found each other
in this town.
But, I always
felt like Reed
was the glue,
you know?
He never let us get caught up
in our own bullshit.
He always helped us see things
from the other side.
Yo, Reed.
Shit, I don't,
I don't know what to say.
My hope for you
is that you,
never lose this belief
of yourself and,
and others.
I'm gonna
miss you a lot, man.
It's not gonna be the same
without you.
Fuck off.
Uh, Reed, man...
you were one
of the first people
that I met
whenever I came out here.
Um, you've been cool as hell...
the entire time,
probably too cool,
uh, most of the time.
I don't want you to go.
Uh, you've always known
what you wanted.
You were gonna fight for it.
You were never gonna
let anything get in your way.
I think
that's what everybody...
that's what I admire
most about you.
And, yeah,
I love you, dude.
This is all so surreal.
Who would've thought
that we would be living
hundreds of miles away
from each other.
It's crazy that
that's gonna be a reality.
I don't want it to be.
I'm scared of that.
I don't want you to leave.
I don't want
to know my best friend
through skype
or a random text,
and I don't want to be at home
on a Friday night
and think,
"If Reed were here...
what would we be doing?"
I love you.
I love you so much.
And, um...
and I just
want you to know that
I'll love you forever.
Can I,
can I steal you
for a sec?
Yeah, what's up?
Hold on.
Don't Leave.
One second.
- Okay.
- There is.
You make me
the happiest man.
Um, it's not
really my style.
- And I, I love you...
- No.
- Why no?
- Sell it.
No, no, no, no.
That's not even an option.
I'm not gonna
take that from you.
It's the only option.
- No, we can't.
- Why?
Because you're just
gonna leave me anyhow.
So give me a reason to stay.
I was waiting
for the right opportunity
- to come talk to you.
- What'd I say, Marty?
Well, considering
fuck buddy status...
how about
we sneak out of here?
Where're you thinking?
Laundry room,
spin cycle.
You wearing
boxers or briefs.?
Best of both worlds.
but we can't look
I'll go set up.
You're very strange,
aren't you?
You never had a problem
with that before.
Oh shit. Um, hey guys.
Look, look, look.
Um, we might be late
on this countdown, but fuck it.
We're gonna get right to it.
Ten, nine,
eight, seven,
six, five,
four, three,
two, one...
Happy 1/2 New Year!
Fuck yeah!
All right. I guess he was
a little excited.
I'm so proud of you.
Thank you.
Like, I'm fucked up.
I know one day
I'm gonna be good,
and I'm cool with that.
I don't know
what else to say.
Thank you.
It's okay.
You don't have to say
anything else.
- I get it.
- Okay. Good.
You have to work on
opening up your chakras.
Yeah, it's um...
It's a chakra thing is...
is what it is,
- Okay, come on.
- Hold on.
- What?
- My sheets are in the dryer.
It's okay. You're gonna
have to wash them anyhow.
- No. Let me just get them.
- Okay.
Cycle. Spin cycle.
Oh! Oh! Yeah. Ooh! Ooh!
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah, baby! Yeah! Yeah!
Okay, no, no, no, no, no.
You guys know what time it is?
It's resolution time.
Get out on the patio.
[pounding on door]
- There you.
- Yep.
- Ooh.
- It's about time.
- Well...
- Welcome to the party.
Look who decided to join us.
We're all basically
here so.
Okay, let's pile in here guys.
Let's do it.
Yo. We're gonna pop this
on three. Ready?
One, two, three...
All right, guys.
Okay, so to us.
To us.
Eyes. Eyes. Eyes.
This is to eyes.
It's been a great night.
You know,
I have a fianc.
She fucked up.
She don't know.
And my friends friends
are friends again.
Reed, are you staying?
Well, I mean,
that ring is worth
a lot, right?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Well, I guess
I got a call mom?
Um, I promise
to pay you back though.
- You fucking better.
- I will.
All right.
So resolutions, right?
We all know
if we don't say 'em out loud
they don't come true.
Well, not to be a bridezilla.
She won't be.
Um, just to work on me.
Yeah, me too.
I'm gonna work on me.
Oh, my turn.
Um, yeah.
Maybe to, um,
find a new girlfriend
this year.
I think
that's what I'm gonna do.
All right, Marty.
What you got?
To explore the unknown.
On that note.
I'll say,
I'm gonna take it easy
and, you know,
- let things come to me.
- I swear.
I'm gonna stop eating hoagies.
Nah, that's not gonna happen.
Yeah, fuck it.
- All right, Brynn.
- Um, To be in the present
and be in the now
and not worry about the future.
I second that.
Oh, okay.
To a year of
excitement, adventure
and the unknown.
- Cheers again.
- All: Cheers.
Eyes. Eyes. Eyes...
- Shots.
- Yeah.
- Can I be your maid of honor?
- Oh my God, of course.
You know,
I know what they're doing.
I saw what you were doing.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Oh. I like your boobs so much
You have the sexiest boobs
I've ever...
Come back.
Hey Reed Worlders.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
Um, we just heard the house
is being demolished today.
So we wanted to come
check it out and say bye so.
Come, come here.
Come in. Don't be shy.
Thank you.
So wanted to say
bye to the house.
Thank you for bringing us
all together in LA.
We love you.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- Say bye to the house.
- Bye house.
- Blow the house a kiss.
- I don't wanna do that.
Just blow the...
- Bye.
- Bye guys.