4/20 Massacre (2018) Movie Script

(ominous music)
You said it was one uphill.
- Oh God shut up!
- And a bunch of downhill.
This is like the third uphill.
Like, I thought it would
be kind of, mostly down.
- Why would you think that?
- I don't know.
- It's a mountain.
- Yeah.
I didn't think it was that big.
I'm sweatin' my balls off, here.
Are we gettin' close
to this place or what?
We're closer than we were.
Hand me the map.
Now if you ask me,
you've got us on a
wild goose chase.
Oh, well lucky no
one's asking you.
Now, if my calculations
are accurate,
and I know for a fact they are,
pot of gold should be right
between them hills, there.
(ominous music)
Come on, Buddy.
Move your ass.
Come on, let's go.
Alright, alright.
Them hills are so far away, Dug.
You know somethin, Dug?
I'm startin' to have some
reservations about all this.
Stealin' is stealin', no
matter how you slice it.
Look around you, Buddy.
All this here is
designated National Forest.
Therefore as American citizens,
whatever grows out here
is just as much ours
as anybody else's.
It says so in the Constitution.
Besides, we're
stealin' from criminals
so it don't count the same.
Yeah, if they're
the criminals though,
what's that make us?
No, I don't like that.
I mean we're
stealin' from stuff,
we're begging for trouble
if we're gonna be stealin'...
Shh, shh, shh.
Shut up your yappin' ass up!
What? What's wrong?
You tellin' me you don't
see that behind that tree?
- See what?
- There.
It was somethin' strange.
What like a critter?
No, bigger than that.
It was like the forest
come alive for a second.
Hey man...
Hey, you dehydrated, man.
Here I got something for
you to wet your whistle.
Some water here.
This is what I'm talkin' about,
this is bad news bein' out here.
If them stories are true...
Hold up, hold up.
Wait, wait, wait, wait for me.
(ominous music)
I'm not the one that ate
the last granola bar, asshole.
[Buddy] I got hungry, man.
Shouldn't leave them in my bag.
Why'd you put them in my bag
if you knew I was
gonna eat them?
You know hungry I get.
Can't carry that much weight.
Hey man, look it's not too
late to just double back.
Like, we can go home,
have a couple beers,
rub one out, not
together, separately.
What do you say,
man, you listening?
Are you even listening to me?
I ain't listening to
a word you are saying.
Oh, oh!
Do you see what
I'm talkin' about?
That's what I'm talkin' about!
Holy shit!
Caught them right
at harvest, too.
What the hell are
you waitin for?
A written invitation?
Pack that shit up.
I wanna go look at
the rest of this.
- Yes, sir.
- Oh yeah!
Buddy it goes back and oh shit.
Yeah, oh you're a
pretty one ain't ya?
I'm gon call you Mary.
I'm gon call you Jane.
(coughing) Oh, goddamn.
Oh, yeah!
Don't mind me, I'm just
sampling the merchandise.
(ominous music)
Dude, there's
somebody behind you.
Well, there was.
But he's not there now.
But he was, I saw somebody.
At least I thought I did.
What the hell is
the matter with you?
Are you trying to give
me a heart attack?
I'm sorry, Dug.
I didn't mean to scare you.
(suspenseful music)
Alright, I'm finished.
Let's get the hell
out of here before...
Hey man, where'd you go?
Hey, come on man,
this ain't funny.
Dug, come on man, how much
of that weed did you smoke?
(ominous music)
Oh no, no!
(suspenseful music)
(upbeat music)
(women in car chattering)
Alrighty kids, look alive.
We're walkin' the
rest of the way.
[Michelle] This isn't it?
[Aubrey] No, it's
further inland.
You mean there's no
roads to get there?
Where we're goin'
we don't need roads.
Back to the future!
Ah, yeah you got it!
I knew you'd get it.
Yeah, what'd you
think was gonna happen?
I don't know, I thought
we'd pull up to the
campsite and be done with it.
I didn't realize you guys
were gonna be so hardcore.
So, how far are we talkin' here
because all this gear
doesn't exactly look light.
[Jess] Well we can take
turns carrying the heavy stuff.
Okay, that's great
but how far is it?
It's like, what
would you guesstimate?
I don't know, maybe
three, four miles at most.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Do you two even
know where we're goin?
Oh, ye of little faith.
Remember I've been on your
little excursions before.
And I have never gotten us lost.
I can bring up
specific examples.
Yeah, bite me.
Morning, sunshine.
Are we there yet?
[Aubrey] No such luck.
Yeah, so would you mind?
Are you serious?
I'm ready.
Damn, you really do smoke
a lot of weed, you know that?
More than some,
less than others.
Perspective's an
interesting concept.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
But I've known some
burn outs in my day
and I'm pretty sure you can
smoke them all under the table.
Well, keep in mind,
I don't normally
blaze up this much.
It just so happens
to be a holiday.
A holiday?
You Jewish or something?
I'm pretty sure she's
talking about 420.
That's right. (Laughing)
Thanks for the help, guys.
- Sorry.
- Sorry, Aubrey.
[Aubrey] So, check it out,
I really want to get there
before we lose anymore daylight.
[Rachel] Let's go, I've
been waitin' on your asses.
[Donna] Let's do this.
Does everybody have
everything they need?
Speak now or forever
hold your peace.
Alright, let's blow
this Popsicle stand.
[Donna] Woo,
Popsicles sound good!
(upbeat music)
(women chattering)
Ah, what we will do for booze.
I know, right.
You sure this is the right way?
Yes, you keep asking me that.
I know it's gorgeous, isn't it?
I can't wait to
get in bed, though.
We're almost there.
(ominous breathing) (laughing)
I am telling you
about this place.
Super creepy.
It's like a spooktacular
horror movie.
Oh, you know the one where the
campers take the wrong turn
and then they get hacked up by...
Can we talk about
something else, please?
It's bad enough we're thousands
of miles from civilization,
I don't need you putting
anymore ideas in my head.
Don't trip, we're not
that far off the grid.
Famous last words.
So, what's you're deal?
You rent out half of
Jess's duplex or something?
Yeah, I met her after
college, after I graduated.
I was couch surfing and
you could kind of say
she adopted me.
So, who are you here with?
- I'm here with Rachel.
- Ah.
Well, I mean she invited me.
We work together and
she somehow convinced
me to tag along.
She can be very persuasive.
I bet she can be.
So that's your latest
conquest I take it?
Hmm, Oh.
I'd say the jury's
still out but yeah,
I'd say it's lookin' up.
You are such a
player, you know that?
Okay, I'm not a
player, I'm a romantic.
- A romantic?
- Yeah.
Oh is that what they call it?
Ugh, damn, when you were little
and your legs were shorter
did it take you a whole
week to get here or what?
So when you were
younger and your sarcasm
was a little more in check,
were you more
pleasant to be around?
You know, you're lucky
that Jess here is your girl.
I mean, with all that
trash you're talkin'
I wouldn't want to embarrass you
and have to lay the smack down.
- Shut up.
- Oh, boy.
Hey, I thought you said
we couldn't drive out here.
I did, we still can't.
Well, what makes
them so special?
(ominous music)
Shit, shit, shit, it's the fuzz!
No, actually it's
just the forest ranger.
- Oh my God.
- Okay, he's stopping.
What are you girls
doing out here?
Are you lost?
No, we're just on our
way up to Higgins Creek.
Yeah, we're gonna camp
there for the weekend.
All five of you are out
here by your lonesome, huh?
Is that a problem?
No, just feel a
whole lot better if you
weren't out here by yourself.
I'm sorry, what was
your name officer?
Officer. (Laughs)
What do you take me
for, being a pig?
No, I'm sorry, sir, it's
just you have the bad...
Sir; That's even
worse, call me Rick.
- Ranger Rick.
- Hi, ranger Rick.
Is something funny?
No (clears throat) sir, Mr...
(laughing under breath)
- Mr. Rick.
- Ranger Rick.
Yeah, I'll take
your word for it.
So, you ladies out here
to give me some trouble?
Oh, no, we're just,
we're just camping for
my best friends birthday.
Oh, thanks for that.
Oh, it's your birthday, huh?
That's what they tell me.
Well, I guess I can't
stop you from going ahead
and doing what you want to do.
Yeah, that's right.
But, I would be
remiss if I didn't
give you some
sound advice before
you skip on your merry way.
(ranger sighs) (ominous music)
Would you happen to have a beer
down there in the ice chest?
Ah, thank you.
(can top pops) Whoa.
(chuckles) Cheers.
Oh, nothing like a cold
one, I swear to God.
Oh, God that's the ticket.
(burps) Pardon me.
Alright now, where were we?
Oh yeah, listen.
I want you to stay on
the trails, alright?
Use the designated
camping spots,
read all the signs
that are posted
and most importantly, you
stay out of them damn hills.
- Or else.
- Or else what?
We have an issue up here
with guerrilla growers.
- Guerrilla growers?
- Mm-hmm.
- What are those?
- Pot farmers.
This whole area is
perfect conditions
for growing that
shit, apparently.
A lot of nooks and crevices
they hide the stuff in.
D.A. boys do everything they can
but it's a real
exercise in futility.
Take down one farm, another
one just pops right up.
It's like clock work.
Come on, man.
What are a bunch of old
hippie farts gonna do to us?
Now, that's where
you're mistaken.
These aren't some stoned out,
hippie types.
These are cold blooded
gangsters running a business
and the crops are the investment
and they'll protect that
investment at all costs
up to and even
including violence.
Are you serious?
Like a heart attack.
We had some campers missing
a couple of days ago.
We searched and
couldn't find anything,
maybe they fell off a cliff,
maybe mauled by a bear.
But my suspicion is: They got
their snouts into something
they shouldn't have and now
they're buried in a shallow
grave right up there in
those hills, rotting away.
It would really break my heart
if anything happened
to you girls.
Alright, so please
just stay on the trail,
read all the signs
that are posted,
and for God sake, stay
out of those hills.
You understand right?
You understand?
[Women] Yes, sir.
Alright, Higgins Creek, right?
Alright down here
a couple of licks,
go to the fork in the,
listen, do you have a map?
Oh, no.
No, well that instills a
great deal of confidence in me.
Well we've been going
there since we were kids
so we know...
Yeah, just the same,
I'd feel a whole lot
better if you'd take this.
Am I right?
Here, this is my
birthday present for you.
- Thanks.
- Okay.
Alright ladies, be on your
way before I change my mind.
Yeah, don't mention it.
(truck engine revving)
(peaceful music)
(women chattering)
How long is it gonna
take to get to this place?
(sighs) I know, I feel like
we've been walking forever.
This is some bullshit!
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,
you guys, I'm getting really
tired of all the complaining.
I've told you,
we'll be there soon.
Yeah, well that's the problem.
You keep saying that but soon
never seems to get there.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
It's not about feeling
a damn way, it's a fact.
Look, what do you
want me to do about it?
Jess, do you know if
this is the right way
or you're just going along
with what Aubrey's saying?
And be honest.
Well (sighs),
I mean, it does seem
to be taking a while.
But, I do recognize all of this.
Yeah but do you remember it
taking this long to get there?
We should've been
there by now, right?
- It kinda feels that way.
- I fucking knew it.
Where's the damn map?
Look, for your information,
I remember just fine
and we're going the right way.
Give her the map.
I may have sweated
on it a little.
Ugh, what did he
do with this thing?
You probably don't want to know.
I can't make heads
or tails of this.
So we started here and
we want to go here.
Okay, I got it.
So where's that put us now?
That's a good question.
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
(ominous music) (loud banging)
(women gasping)
What the hell was that?
(leaves crunching)
Where is that coming from?
[Donna] It's
probably just a animal.
Think it's in front of us.
[Michelle] Should we run?
No, no, we don't
want to do that.
What if it's a bear?
Or a Saskwatch?
- This isn't funny!
- Who's laughing?
I say we make a run for it.
No, what if we do and
Big Foot or whatever
freaks out and
starts charging us?
I thought that saskwatches
were supposed to avoid people?
I don't know what they do.
But do you really want to
roll the dice and find out?
(suspenseful music)
Everyone stand behind me.
I don't hear anything anymore.
I don't either.
Do you think it went away?
I think so.
(suspenseful music)
(women screaming)
Help me! Help me!
Hey, buddy, what's your problem?
How'd you know my name?
Stay away from me.
You're the one that's
trippin' out on us, man.
Stay away from me!
- Stay away!
- Okay, that was fun.
Can we go now?
Yeah, good idea.
[Donna] Come on.
Jess, come on.
It's okay, it's
alright, I got this.
Screw that, look at him!
He's clearly looney toons.
(buddy whimpering)
- Hey, buddy.
Buddy, is that your name?
That's what people call me.
They call you Buddy?
Well that's kind of funny.
Why do people call you that?
Because I'm everybody's buddy.
- Wanna know something?
- Hmm?
Dug was my buddy.
He's dead now.
He was my bestest buddy
in the whole world
and now he's dead!
And now Dug is
dead! (Whimpering)
Hey, hey.
I'm really sorry to hear that.
Can you tell me what happened?
It happened out there.
In the forest.
Dug saw him first.
It was a monster or a
demon and he was hunting us
and we were the
prey and it got Dug.
It got Dug and now
it's coming for me.
It's coming for me!
Stay with me, here.
Stay with me, okay?
Buddy, why would someone
want to kill you?
The weed.
Did he just say the weed?
- Whoa.
Holy crapballs!
- Take it.
- Yeah, Jess, Jess,
- oblige the guy.
- No, no, no.
You heard what Ranger Rick said.
What if he stole that?
That's his problem, that's
got nothing to do with us.
You know like, like, like
finders keepers and shit!
Take it, take it,
take it, please take it!
Please, please!
Now it's your weed.
And that means you're next.
You're all next.
You're all next!
- What a weirdo.
- Whoa.
Fuck yeah, that
weirdo hooked it up!
(sighs excitedly) That is a
thing of beauty right there.
There's gotta be at
least like a (laughing)
there's a butt load
of weed in this bag!
Wow, yep, that's a lot of weed.
(mumbling excitedly)
Guys, guys!
We need to go find Ranger
Rick and tell him about this.
- What?
- Come on, Jess.
Are you really that gullible?
Hey, you heard the guy.
There could be a dead or
a dying person out there.
Okay, I heard him
but he wasn't exactly
firing off on all
cylinders, now was he?
Yeah, that dude was fucked
up on some gnarly mushrooms
- or something.
- Yeah, exactly.
So whatever his deal was or is,
I say let it not
ruin our weekend.
That is if you can ever
figure out where we're going.
Like I said, we're here.
And if we just take
the fork up the hill,
we'll be right there.
So you guys wanna
go or you wanna
stand around here all day?
- It's your show, Ace.
- Thank you.
(ominous music)
- Hey, Jess, you comin?
- Yeah.
(suspenseful music)
(crying and yelling)
(woman laughing)
Does anyone know
any good Dead Baby Jokes?
Oh my God! (Laughing)
[Donna] Have any of you guys
ever had sex while camping?
- Not yet.
- No.
Well, trust me, it's intense.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. (Laughing)
Okay, what about this one?
What do you get when the
mafia crosses the road?
Forget about it, huh?
Ha, ha!
Okay, what do you get
whenever you cross a-
- Okay, I vote no more, please.
Yeah, no more.
But this one's really good.
(gunshot blasting)
Whoa, is that what
I think it is?
(gunshot blasting)
Where the hell
have you taken me?
Hey, stop shooting!
There are people over here!
Hey, did y'all see that?
That's a quick little
bastard, isn't he?
Man, did y'all see where
that jack rabbit went?
No and don't you know it's
illegal to hunt out here?
Don't you worry, honey.
This here is just some buckshot.
Well in that case.
Yeah, you could've
killed someone!
Oh my gosh, I'm
terribly sorry ladies.
Any you broads get hit?
Luckily, no.
Okay, then, I guess we
got nothing left to discuss.
Yeah we do.
Bet it makes you feel
like a real tough guy,
killing and torturing
little animals, huh?
- Can we not do this?
- Why, fuck that guy!
You got something
you wanna say to me?
Yeah, plenty.
And if you weren't
lugging around that piece
of male compensation I would
tell you how I really feel.
What are you, one of
them big city libtards,
who don't believe in freedom?
Oh no, on the contrary, I
believe you can do whatever the
hell you want as long as you
don't behave like an asshole.
Let me tell you something,
as long as I got my rights,
I'm going to exercise them,
whether you like it or not.
Yeah, what about
our right not to die?
Well that all depends.
- You armed?
- Obviously, no.
Well if you had
any sense, you would.
Trust me, get your ass a gun.
Legally or illegally,
it don't matter.
Because the government,
nor the police,
nor your daddy, nor no
one is gon protect you.
You need to like get high
and chillax are something.
Here, here...
- My gift to you.
- What are you,
- the weed fairy?
- Yeah, why not?
You must give to
receive, as they say.
What you got here?
A little reefer?
Just take it, it's yours.
Just do us a favor,
just stop hunting and
shooting and stuff, alright?
It's 420, you shouldn't go out
of your way to kill things.
You got something
to smoke that with?
Yeah, got me a lighter.
Oh, hell yeah, you're
all set right there.
You can just like
roll that shit up
and smoke that blunt like a G.
Like a what now?
Nevermind, you just...
Take a cigar and you're
gonna split it right down
the middle, hollow
out the tobacco,
when you're left with
all the paper stuff,
just roll it on up like a
joint, you're good to go.
Hmm, alright, much obliged.
Just remember our deal.
Puff, puff don't bang, bang.
And that's how you
resolve conflict.
Yeah it's great.
Now we got some nut
job carrying a gun,
high out of his mind
wandering around here.
You totally made us safe.
Aw, weed doesn't work that way.
He's gonna smoke it
and not wanna do shit.
(lighthearted music)
(lighthearted music)
(women chattering)
Yes, I do.
Ugh, oh my gosh.
Yes, please.
Oh, this feels so good.
It's so quiet out here.
It's kinda nice, actually.
I think that's the
first positive thing
you've said since we got here.
Oh, come on. (Laughing)
I haven't been
complaining that much.
And you have to admit,
that hike was ridiculous.
Sure, I was just
scared you were gonna
have regrets about coming.
Not yet.
No, I'm actually really
glad you dragged me along.
See, I knew you'd come around.
Now imagine once we bust out
the sleeping bags and we just
lay here all night with
the stars above our head.
Are you high?
I'm not sleepin' outside.
That's what we brought
the tent for, right?
You have no sense of adventure.
(fly buzzing)
Ugh, this bug needs
to get away from me.
Alright ladies,
I'd love to sit here
and recharge my batteries
with the rest of you guys
but we have to set up
camp and I'm sure as hell
not gonna do it by myself.
- You're such a slave driver.
- I know.
It's just as soon as we
get this off our shoulders,
the sooner we can party.
Amen to that!
But can we eat first?
Seriously, I'm starving.
I'm so hungry I
could eat a horse.
How bout some lips and
assholes instead, huh?
That's disgusting.
So, you guys set the tent up
and I'll grill these puppies up.
What do you say?
- It works for me.
- Cool.
- Does anyone want a beer?
- Yes!
(upbeat music)
So, I think this thing goes up.
Oh yeah, it looks
like they're supposed
- to get into each other.
- Okay.
Oh, yeah here it is.
One step done.
- Okay, I got it.
- Oh, you do?
Yes, okay, so snap
all these things on
and then go to the bottom.
Hey, you did it, good job.
Yay you figured it out!
Just give in to the ecstasy
Let me show you what
it's like to fly
Do you wanna get
high, high, high
Seein' explosions in the sky
Wanna get high, high, high
Screamin' my name
when I touch you right
You wanna get
high, high, high
Leavin' you breathless
in the night
Wanna get high, high, high
Wanna get high, high, high
How's it goin?
How's the dogs?
I think it's gonna be
another minute or two.
What I actually meant
is how is that goin?
We practically grew up together.
So, I don't wanna screw that up.
Plus, I never really
told her anything.
So I just wanna make sure
she has a good birthday.
Period, end of story.
Well if you ask me, I
think you should make like.
Young MC and bust a move.
I'll keep that in mind, thanks.
Oh shit, can you
grab me that plate?
It's burning on the side.
I can't wait to blaze you up.
I'm surprised you
haven't done it already.
Oh, it's coming.
I'm just waiting
for the right time.
- What's the right time?
- 4:20, of course.
Oh, right, of course.
I just think it's a
crying shame that you
are not going to partake.
Hey, I don't mind pot.
It's just never been my jam.
You know, I've tried it and
got really really paranoid.
Then I just spaced
out and passed out.
Just not fun for me.
But I don't care
if you guys do it.
Go ahead.
Smoke, be happy.
Yeah but that's the thing.
Your birthday is on 4-20.
- You do realize that right?
- No.
So what do you do instead?
You reject it?
Reject what?
Your destiny.
If the opportunity
presented itself, maybe.
But, even then I don't
know what I'd do or say.
Okay, you know this
might sound crazy,
but you should just
tell her how you feel.
- Just tell her.
- No, the fuckin' Easter Bunny.
Yes, tell Jess.
Don't be ridiculous.
Do I look like I
need love advice?
(laughs) Frankly, yes.
I mean from my vantage point,
you look like a
scared little girl
that's willing to
wait on the sidelines
and watch the parade
of life pass her by.
That's a little harsh.
Well the truth can be that way.
All I'm saying is,
with all the bad shit
that's happened on 4-20,
we need a person like you
smoking out to keep
things balanced.
Wait, I'm lost.
Why is 4-20 a bad day?
Lot's of reasons.
I mean, you do know
what historical figure
was born on this
very day, right?
I assume you know.
Oh, no I never
heard that before.
Well then don't say anything.
Would you care to
venture a guess?
Hmm, Bob Marley?
No, that's an urban legend.
No, it wasn't Jim
Morrison either.
Try to think of someone
a little more genocidey.
I don't know, I give up.
- Adolf Hitler?
- Wow!
You share a birthday
with Hitler, really?
Mm-hm, sucks right?
There's a bunch of
other jacked up shit
that's happened on 420.
Which is why it's
our collective duty
to blaze up on this day.
What in God's name
are you talkin' about?
I don't know if she'd
go for someone like me.
Look, it's gonna
come down to this,
you're gonna have to ask
yourself one simple question.
How badly do you want it?
What do you mean?
I mean, how bad do
you want to be with her?
There's nothing more that
I want in this whole world.
Okay well then you have it.
Because anyone can get
anything and I mean anything,
provided they want
it badly enough.
What if I tell her how I feel
and she looks at me like
I'm some kind of freak?
Look, if she shoots you down
and is too stupid to realize
what a good person you are
then she isn't
worth it, trust me.
- That's nice.
- It's true.
Okay, no offense, but
I think you may have
officially smoked
yourself retarded.
(chuckling sarcastically)
The lists don't lie, okay?
April 20, 1961, the
Bay of Pigs fiasco.
Huge foreign policy blunder.
April 20, 1993, the Waco Siege.
Lots of people killed
and burned alive.
April 20, 1995,
Oklahoma City Bombing.
Worse attack on US soil
since Pearl Harbor.
April 20, 1999 was the
Columbine High School massacre.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
are you trying to depress
me on my birthday?
Fine, I will stop there.
But if you dig deeper you're
gonna find a lot more shit,
I can promise you.
That shit's mind
blowing isn't it?
Sure but what does that
have to do with people
getting high on 4-20?
To ward off all the bad
vibes and evil spirits.
I mean, think about it.
With all those dark
forces bouncing around.
It almost becomes
imperative that people just
chill the fuck out on 4-20.
That makes sense right?
Yeah. (Laughing)
Go ahead, laugh it up.
But by me being loaded,
it's like I am personally
shielding you from all the
potential harm that's out there.
Oh, thank you.
You're our hero.
Damn right.
- Hey, come on.
- Come on.
I'm just jokin'!
(laughs) Is she serious?
God, she's hardcore
about this shit.
I know, I'm so hungry.
I'm hungry.
Wanna grab it?
Behold a feast.
Whoa, she is hungry.
(women chattering)
Since Ranger Dickhead
drank half our beer,
I thought we'd class
it up with some...
(women cheering)
Yeah, hotdogs and champagne.
(cork pops) (women cheering)
For you.
Okay, a toast to Jess.
I think that we all can
agree that the world
would be a much
more colorful place
if there were more
people like you in it.
Don't make me cry.
But I believe that God
must've really broken the mold
when he made you because
you are one-of-a-kind.
So, I say, screw the
rest of the world.
I think we will keep
you for ourselves.
Happy Birthday, Jess.
[Group] Happy Birthday!
Love you.
How long til you see we're
not giving into your madness
This is good.
It is good, I
could use some more.
Yep, it hits the spot.
- Oo, me too.
- Yes, please.
I'm gonna get one
of these dogs now.
Don't act like you didn't know.
(whistling) (ominous music)
(suspenseful music)
(leaves rustling)
(limb cracking)
(suspenseful music)
Good Lord.
Yep, mm-hmm, yep.
That young lady
(suspenseful music)
knew what she was talking about.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Can't we just talk about this?
Go for it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what are you doin?
I don't know why I
pictured it somewhere else.
Woo, man that
really hit the spot.
Yeah, compliments to the chef.
Thanks guys, I
really appreciate it
but it's kind of hard
to screw up hotdogs.
I mean, you'd
almost have to try.
Don't sell your,
short change yourself.
Seriously, it was really good.
Well, the culinary arts
are my life's passion.
(laughing) I had no idea.
- No.
- I'm kidding!
Seriously, you'd be lucky
not to die of food poisoning.
Thank you.
So Aubrey told me you
went back to school.
Taking some PhD classes.
Doing anything for job?
Mm-hmm I teach self-defense,
couple nights a week.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Like karate and
kung fu and shit?
Those are different
things but whatever.
Well are you any good?
What teaching?
No, fighting.
No, I just do it for exercise.
Oh no, no, no, no, no
she's just being modest.
Jess can throw down.
- For real.
- No.
Yeah right.
No, I'm serious.
Come on, show her what you got.
Stop, no.
I want to see.
I mean, seriously I
don't think you could
actually do something if someone
tried to really hurt you.
Oh, someone's
talkin' mad shit, yo.
I mean, come on.
Come on, cupcake.
Come on.
[Group] Show us, show
us, show us, show us.
(laughing) (cheering)
It doesn't work like that
I can't just attack you.
Well, that's lame what's
the point in knowing.
Ninjitsu and shit if you
can't show off a little?
Look, how bout this?
Rachel you try to restrain her
then you'll see
what she's made of.
Fine, have it your way.
(thudding) (laughing)
How'd you do that?
Just used your, like a balance,
your momentum against you.
It's pretty easy actually.
Remind me not to piss you off.
Let me help.
Are you okay?
(melancholy country music)
(ominous music)
What the fuck?
(suspenseful music)
(truck engine revving)
I am officially
switching to water.
(women groaning and booing)
Eh I'm a lightweight,
I'll admit it.
Oh shit, what time is it?
Uh, 4:18.
(squealing excitedly)
Uh-oh, you almost missed it.
Almost but not quite
and I brought just the thing.
Oh no what is that?
You did not bring that.
You carried that
all the way here?
You should know me by now.
I don't fuck around when
it comes to the ganja.
- Time?
- Uh, 4:19.
Alright, alright, alright.
I'm assuming you're
all in on the session?
- Yeah!
- No, you can count me out.
That's because you suck but
we already knew that so...
The rest of you
are smoking though,
I don't care what you say.
Who wants greens?
That's all you.
I'm gonna take a
hit and pass it around
and we just keep passing.
Everyone has to get a hit in
before the 60 seconds are up,
- got it?
- Yeah.
You're so funny.
I don't know how you
actually managed to survive
as an adult on a
day-to-day basis.
Hey this is serious business.
[Jess] Apparently.
Do we all get it?
Do we understand?
Yes ma'am.
Time and count it out.
Okay 4:19 and 47 seconds.
50 seconds.
10, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one.
4:20, go!
(upbeat music)
(women chattering)
(laughing) (coughing)
Good job, guys.
Mama's so proud of you.
Not you, but you.
This stuff's really stone-y.
Yeah, it's nice and
fresh, that's why.
So, what do you guys wanna
do for the rest of the day?
Mm, I don't know,
where's that creek
we've been hearing
so much about?
Oh, you just walk
straight that way
and you will fall right in.
We should go skinny dipping.
Oh, I'm so down.
Ha, shocking.
You know I'm half joking.
And I'm half serious.
I know, that's why I don't
want you to get your hopes up.
Oh, the thought
never crossed my mind.
Yeah right.
But I do have a bottle of
champagne with your name on it.
Oh my.
So, what do you say, you down?
Well, when you put it like that.
Don't wait up on us kids.
- Bye.
- Have fun.
- birthday girl.
- Yes?
What do you wanna do?
I'm cool with whatever.
No, it's your day.
What do you want
to get out of it?
I don't know, I'd kinda like
to go to that lookout point,
you know the one
we used to go to
and watch the sunset?
Eagles Cliff?
- Yeah, you remember the name.
- Of course I do.
Yeah, I was thinkin
it was that way.
The trees look
a little different
because of the fire but
I'm sure we'll find it.
Alright, let's do it.
Are you comin?
Oh no, I'm just gonna stay
here and guard the site.
Are you ready?
As I'll ever be.
Hey, what's the
big idea? (Laughing)
I'm saving you from yourself.
I think you've got
enough weed right there
to hold you off for a while.
Oh, okay mom.
Just the two of us kid. (Sighs)
(bong bubbles)
(laughing) I'm so high.
(suspenseful music)
(ominous music)
Oh Jesus.
(peaceful music)
Yeah, I like that song.
We're just gonna have our own
little dance party, Gerard.
We don't need them.
There's just more for us.
Oh, just a little bit more.
(ominous music)
(lighter striking)
(bong bubbling)
(ominous music)
(suspenseful music)
(muffled screaming)
We're camping, remember?
The wilderness.
So are there like bears too?
Should we be...
Should be fine around here.
I don't think they really
come near the creek.
I don't know, that's
what people say before
they get attacked by a bear.
You're gonna love
it, just trust me okay?
You're not gonna regret it.
It is a pretty creek,
I'll give you that.
You'll give me that.
Oh, lucky me.
- Fancy.
- How fancy you are.
You know I know
how to treat you.
Don't point that at me please.
(laughs) I'm not
gonna point it at you.
You are so scared.
I'm not scared.
I'm realistic.
- You're realistic?
- Yeah.
(cork pops) (cheering)
Don't get it on the blanket.
Oh my God, save some
for the rest of us.
Thank you.
Relax, there's so much.
Not too shabby, huh?
It's alrght.
Oh correction,
it's the best, okay?
The best in the world.
It's good.
It's better than
good, it's the best.
I mean, look around you.
Alright, it's great.
It' amazing, it's orgasmic.
What do you want from me?
I want you to feel spoiled.
I want you to know that
despite my reputation,
I take care of
those I care about.
Granted that's not many
but you're in the club.
Well I'm honored.
What do you think
people say about you?
Oh, I know what they see.
Heartless, cold, driven,
The B and C word,
and everything in between.
But that visage is
just a means to an end.
For what, world domination?
God willing.
I mean, I aim to leave a mark
on this shitty little planet.
I mean, if no one remembers you,
did you ever actually exist?
You may have a point there.
What's that?
Oh, nothing.
Just a little party favor.
Oh, wow.
Look at you.
Well, anyways, I say
fuck being humble.
I mean, it's better
than being a loser.
That's my philosophy. (Snorting)
So what, by being
humble makes you a loser?
Hey, don't get me wrong.
Losers are some of the
nicest most humble people
I've ever met.
Yeah it does.
(lighthearted music)
- I'm good.
Come on, I can keep
a secret if you can.
Okay, fine.
Atta girl. (Laughing)
This is like the
only thing that still
looks as big from
when we were little.
Yeah, right.
Do you wanna sit there?
How much longer til
sunset do you think?
Oh, we've still got a while.
Or, I mean, we
don't have that long.
Yeah I think the others
will be worried about us.
Oh, they can fend
for themselves.
Hey, remember what you told me?
Hmm? (Sighs)
Just take it all in, relax.
Take it as it comes.
Sounds like a plan.
Do you remember when your
dad first brought us up here?
Do you remember,
we were so tired
that he had to carry us on
the way back. (Laughing)
Oh man, I forgot about that.
You know, I've been thinking
about him a lot lately.
Your old man?
Are you guys getting along?
(scoffs) Who knows?
I mean, I've been
out of the house
for how long now and
do you know how many
times that he's called me?
Three, three times.
I mean, I put in all the effort
and he can't even be bothered to
return a damn phone call.
It's bullshit.
You know, Jess, if my
opinion means anything...
Of course it does.
My old man was an asshole.
Sometimes I really hated him.
Sometimes I still think I do.
But at the end of the day,
I couldn't find it in my heart
to forgive him and
now it's too late.
I just don't want that for you.
Are you okay?
Yeah, just,
I'm worried I'll never be happy.
Yeah, I suppose there are people
who never rise above
their circumstance
and they will always
be unhappy, sure.
The world is full
of people who do.
- Really?
- Yes.
- Like who?
- Like right here.
Me and you, two
prime candidates.
I missed you, Jess.
Oh, I missed you too.
Oh God, I'm
slobbering all over you.
Better out than in.
That's what they say.
You just keep lettin' it out
and eventually you get over it.
(ominous music)
Was that for real?
I just, I thought,
I thought that we...
- Oh shit.
- Oh God.
You didn't know?
Well, I mean, I had
my suspicions, yeah.
But, we never talked about it.
I mean, it's cool.
It's cool, I just,
a little heads up
would've been nice.
You know?
Hey, I'm not mad, okay?
You just surprised
me, that's all.
Do you want to hear me say it?
No, come on.
No, I want you to know.
I have felt this
way about you since,
since before I even
knew that I liked women.
And I decided that no
matter how you took it
I just, I needed to tell you.
You know, even if you
ended up hating me.
In all of my darkest times,
when I was depressed
and suicidal,
it was always you that brought
me through it, you know.
It was always you.
I don't know what to say.
Do you feel the same
way about me at all?
Not really.
I mean, you're a
beautiful, beautiful person
inside and out.
But I just,
I've thought about it, you know?
Liking women, but I
just am not into women.
I'm sorry.
But, you know,
if there ever were a woman
I could fall in love with
it would definitely be...
God, you don't have to try
to make me feel better, okay?
Hey, I understand.
You ready to head back?
Fuck, you're weirded out now.
No, no, no, I'm
not weirded out, no.
No, I just, I think
they're gonna start
to get worried about us.
Come on.
Come on, let's go
back to the campsite
and sit around the campfire
and eat a whole bunch
of s'mores and get completely,
completely shit faced.
(upbeat music)
What do you say, huh?
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Alright.
- Sounds good.
Let's go get fucked up.
(lighthearted music)
(ominous music)
So let me get this straight,
you think it's perfectly
fine for a person
to have no moral
boundaries in their life?
Oh no, you can
have all the morals
and boundaries you want
but at the end of the day,
it's not gonna mean diddly squat
because you probably
won't be as successful
as you would otherwise.
And that's the cold,
hard, honest truth.
Yeah, I guess you have a point.
You know, I always said
it was strange that
things we're supposed
to admire about people,
kindness, generosity, honesty,
those traits, more
often than not,
are the cause of ones downfall
and then the things
that we're supposed
to despise in humanity,
ego, greed, lack of
empathy, self-interest,
those traits, more
often than not,
are attributed to those
who are successful.
And then the rest are failures.
Wait, I didn't say
people are failures.
I said they were losers.
What's the difference?
Well, at the end of the day,
everybody's just
living their life
and you can't knock
them for that.
But it's more likely
that the losers
of this world, which
granted is most of us,
aren't gonna make that
much of an impression.
So what?
What if you don't
care about all that?
Trust me, everybody cares.
Everybody wants to be remebered.
But the fact is most of us won't
and that's just a harsh
and tough thing to accept.
Point is, that's all she wrote.
So how you feelin' over there?
Yeah, same.
I'm having a good time though.
Me too.
It's crazy, it's like we're
on the same wavelength
or something like we're
connected on a deeper level.
Uh-huh and now you're
making fun of me.
No, I'm serious.
Why do you think we
have something going on?
You think so?
I mean, you can't deny we
have a certain connection.
So you like, like me huh?
Okay, well I'm not dead.
You're smoking, that
goes without saying.
But, more importantly you
got something going on.
You know, between those
beautiful ears of yours,
aside from a pretty face.
You think I'm smart?
That's the least of
your worries, trust me.
In fact, I've never,
quite met anyone like
you in my entire life.
That's not funny.
Hey, I'm serious.
Scouts honor, and cross
my heart, hope to die.
I really think you...
(upbeat music)
You're so pretty.
(ominous music)
Hey, do you mind if we
slow this down a little bit?
Someone's there!
- Jesus, what now?
- Over there!
What the stoner chick?
I mean, who cares?
No, it's some guy!
Is this your way
of chickening out?
Ow, what the hell?
Come on, let's get out of here.
I just don't see anything.
I'm not making this up.
I'm not saying
you're making it up.
But what kind of perv would
just happen to be here...
How the hell should I know?
It could be that hunter
guy or the ranger.
We told him where
we were, remember?
Okay, sure, I'll
go check it out.
What, no.
Come on, fuck that.
Let's just go back
to camp, please?
First I want to
check what's going on.
What do you think
you're gonna do
if you actually find somebody?
What do you think I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna drop kick his ass.
I don't think you're
being very realistic.
Sit tight, I'll be back, okay?
(ominous music)
(leaves rustling)
(suspenseful music)
- Sorry.
- Well done.
Did you see anyone?
No, not a soul.
Why are your clothes on?
I was feeling uncomfortable.
Look I checked everywhere,
it's just you and me.
Sorry, I thought I saw someone.
It's okay.
So, you wanna head back?
Oh, I thought you wanted
to go back to camp.
(upbeat music)
- I did but,
I don't know seeing you
run around the woods
for my honor, all protective,
it kinda turned me on.
Oh, is that a fact?
It is.
Oh, now you're
pulling the clothes off.
I see where you're at.
Cheeky, cheeky.
I guess I was right to
bring you to the creek.
(ominous music)
(glass breaking)
Did you hear that?
You're not funny.
Actually, I'm hilarious.
Seriously, you didn't hear that?
I don't know what it is,
you make me feel safe.
Oh, that's my special man-power.
Oh, is that what
they're calling it?
(suspenseful music) (screaming)
Did you hear that?
(ominous music)
Someone screaming.
(suspenseful music)
That was really weird, huh?
Did you hear it again?
No, that was,
where the hell is everyone?
Maybe everyone
went to the creek?
(suspenseful music)
This better not be
some kind of sick joke.
What did she pass
out or something?
Hey Donna, what are you,
oh, my God!
Oh my God!
What happened to her?
We need to go find the others.
Rachel, where are you?
Don't do that.
Is that your blood?
What happened?
We have to go I think
he's right behind me.
Who is?
Where is Rachel?
Where is Rachel?
Don't you
understand, she's dead!
He killed her and
he's gonna kill us too
if we don't get the fuck
outta here right now!
Wait, wait, wait.
No, listen.
We can't just go
running without a plan.
The car is four miles from here.
Well to hell with you both.
I'm not gonna die out here.
Come on, Michelle!
Okay, we gotta go get her.
Do you have the keys?
Do you have the keys?
Yes, yes.
But we need to go
find Rachel first.
Okay, no, no, no.
Listen to me, okay?
Rachel is dead.
You don't know that.
You don't know that.
She could be out there
right now needing our help.
We can not do anything to
help her right now, okay.
We gotta go.
Alright, do you have the keys?
I don't think I can do this.
I don't think I can do this.
Oh, yes you can.
Yes you can, okay?
- You got this.
- Okay.
(crying) Oh my God.
(ominous music)
Michelle, wait!
Which way is that stupid trail?
Just wait, we'll show you.
(suspenseful music)
You bastard!
We need to go.
(suspenseful music)
Please, we need to go.
We need to go now.
We need to go!
(ominous music)
(heavy breathing)
Run, we're almost to the trail!
A maniac thing, out
there trying to kill us.
Is that right?
He's killed all of our friends.
Wait, wait, wait where?
He's back there.
We've been running from him.
Guess what?
I ain't.
You don't understand.
That sick bastard
is out of his mind
and he is gonna kill you.
Yeah, well I doubt that.
No, I don't think
that's a good idea.
I don't think it's
a really good idea
that you been messing
around with the crops.
Didn't I give you a
warning about that?
We didn't go messing
around with any crops.
- Oh you didn't huh?
- No!
Now, let's see what's
behind the backpack then, huh?
Tell me what this is, huh?
What is that?
No that's a mistake.
- A mistake huh?
- We didn't take that.
You think this just
grew on your back?
You know one thing
I really detest
are phonies, liars, and people
with questionable integrity.
Come on, follow me.
I'm gonna put an end to
this, once and for all.
Something's wrong.
You know, I hear you whispering.
You know, I think, I'm
feeling that you're conspiring
to conspire.
You know, that really
hurts my feelings.
Where's the trust?
You know, I'm a really
very sensitive guy.
I will catch up with you.
- Aubrey, no!
- Go!
Hey, fuck you, pig!
(suspenseful music)
(ranger laughing)
(arrow whizzing) (screaming)
(arrow whizzing)
(heavy breathing)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold your horses.
Alright, I'm glad
you're enthusiastic.
Just tie her up and drag
her over to the other one.
Come on.
Watch her, keep
your hands on her.
Wait, wait, wait come here.
Look what you made me do.
Listen, no more sass
little birthday girl.
You start actin' real nice.
Got it? (Jess spitting)
Oh, we've got a
real live one here.
(slapping) (screaming)
Now, you keep an eye on her.
Tie her up, drag her over
to the other one, now!
Oo, ouchy, ouchy.
Ouch that looks like
it really hurts.
Here, let me see
if I can help you.
Oh, man that's messy.
Bring her over here.
Take her over there.
(screaming) (suspenseful music)
Why are you doing this to us?
Protecting our investments.
It's nothing personal.
Please we won't tell
anyone about this, okay?
Just let us go, we
won't say anything
to anyone, we promise.
I appreciate that
but I think we've
reached the point of
no return, you know?
I mean, look at my boy.
He's all giddy and he's excited,
he can barely contain himself.
You wouldn't want to break
his little heart would you?
You don't have to do this.
(chuckling) But we do.
We can't take any chances.
Especially around harvest time.
My son, he got
out of the service
and his brains were scrambled.
Wasn't his fault,
they did it to him.
They made him a remorseless
killing machine.
Then when it was over,
they spit him out.
Can you believe that shit?
A real American hero.
Christ sake.
And those meds, the VA
doctors prescribed to him,
left him a drooling retard
and he was no good for no one.
Miserable fucking cock suckers.
So we looked into other options,
weed seemed to help.
That's how it all began.
At first we planted just a
few seeds for our personal use
and then he really showed
a knack for being a farmer.
Yeah, a real green
thumb, this guy.
It was only a short
time before we realized
we were making a
pretty good penny.
I only wish that we could've
done it a lot sooner.
But, it is what it is.
(suspenseful music)
- No, no, no, no!
- Jess, I love you.
I love you! (Screaming)
That's some sight, ain't it?
Gruesome, blood thirsty shit.
You know, I think he
got the taste of that
by fucking around with
them camel jockeys.
A bunch of fucking
savages, all of them.
But, this is the best part.
Look, you don't
want to miss this.
There, see that?
Do you know why they do that?
Do you know why they
hold it up so high?
Because the brain is still alive
up to eight seconds
after they've cut it off.
Blood just keeps flowing.
That's a hell of a long
time, don't you think?
You can see a lot in
those eight seconds.
Thoughts, feelings,
sensations, emotions.
You know, I often wonder
what it must be like
to die like that.
I was hoping that maybe
someday, somebody could tell me.
Maybe it could be you.
What do you think?
Why don't you ask yourself that?
Because you're
gonna die before me.
The undying
optimist, I like that.
That's really nice.
I like that thing.
Let me tell you something.
Happy trails, kiddo.
Die you bitch.
(suspenseful music)
That fucking bitch!
Alright, come on.
Get up.
Come on, get up.
Get up and get after her, go on!
Go on, you dumb moron!
Get her!
(suspenseful music)
(heavy breathing)
(suspenseful music)
Help me, help me.
Shut up!
That son of a bitch
(mumbles) my goddamn eyes.
- (whispering) You had a gun.
- Yeah.
- Okay, where is it?
- It's at the camp.
Okay, where is that?
I'm blind, can't you see?
Which direction is the camp?
It's that way.
- Okay, it's that way.
- Yeah.
Okay, okay, okay, are
you sure about that?
Yeah, I guess.
Okay, you got this.
Come on, let's go.
(suspenseful music) (screaming)
(screaming) (heavy breathing)
Are you still out there boy?
(suspenseful music)
Where are you?
Oh, God.
Hey, come on.
Who the fuck is this guy?
Hey, come on.
Who the fuck is this,
Oh, God.
Don't do this to me.
Alright, okay?
Come on.
Please, I can't
do it without you.
You sit this one out, alright?
Sit it out.
(suspenseful music)
(upbeat music)
Looks like we're at
the end of the line.
Yeah, so it would seem.
You know, being
the birthday girl,
I think I'm gonna let
you make the decision.
We have two options.
One, you can man up, turn
around, and end it quickly
or you could be the little
chicken shit with a push
and I would be very happy
to lend a hand for that.
So, what's it gonna be?
Why are we even
foolin' ourselves huh?
We both know that
you wanna do it.
It's the only way that sick
perverts like you can get off
because you can't get
that little pecker up
so you gotta kill things
instead, am I right?
I don't smoke.
Well, that's a pity (coughing)
this is really good shit.
But, you know, you got me.
You really did, 100%.
Not about the pecker,
but about killing people.
(laughing) (moaning in fear)
Now, can you feel this?
I'm trembling with desire
and I simply can not
wait til it's over.
- Are you ready to die?
- No.
Are you?
(screaming) (intense music)
(suspenseful music)
(arrow whizzing)
(arrow whizzing)
(arrow whizzing)
(suspenseful music)
When the smoke clears I'll
be sober, I'll be vigilant
Well aware, I suppress fears
Immune to the air
Immune to the fumes
When I add the fuel here
What's your proof here
Cause I'm still alive
And we don't owe you shit
that you lost in your time
At the drop of a dime
we'll tell the surprise
And since we holdin court
ima taka a shot at mine
But it's traumtizin
Those to lullabies
as pure as baby blood
That flows when one dies
From death to the life
From darkness to light
The duality attended
to my whole life
Who gave you your stripes
And do you wear them right
We strip any zebra in
the jungle crossing lines
I'm a wolf in disguise
Where the lions make pride
If I'm honest
trailblazing is lyin
Ain't a lie, Ima
baller til I die
I dare you try
I dare you to tell the
truth even when you lie
I dare you to fight
Dare you not to take flight
I dare you to walk through
the smoke with no sight
Dare you to open your eyes
I dare you to try
I dare you to tell the
truth even when you lie
I dare you to fight
Dare you not to take flight
I dare you to walk through
the smoke with no sight
Dare to open your eyes
See I, See I
I see what you
mean sometimes
I see you see me seein things
more divine, don't intervene
But what I'm seein
here, this mines
I see you been around awhile
You see me right
You see my campsite
You seein my demise
You see into the end
that you see on the rise
I can't see the compromise
You see what I provide
See this how it's gon go
down, you see it upright
I see you uptight but I
don't see you go fight
I see me standing adjust
the position eye to eye
I see me as a giant when
I'm David in your sight
Goliath for the triumph
and call me a bad guy
Good guys finish last
and I can see why
Cause I done seen first
hand, left don't seem to die
See I gotta see
my kids right
I gotta see all the
shit I said come to life
I see how you feel and I
done seen it many times
I see it in the mirror
when I dare to see inside
I dare to wipe it
down like Bruce
Be fearful of the mirages
the mirrors seem dry
See drugs pass by
See rain in the sky
See rain there, rain
dance, dab in the light
Boom thunder strike is
darkness to the light
Wash away my sins that I
see with my eye and see I