A Bit of Light (2022) Movie Script
1
Mummy!
Mummy!
Lilah, come on!
The number
one single, and it was
'This Ain't A Love Song'
and that would've
scored you 30 points.
It's not
'I Ain't Gonna Go For It',
it's 'I Ain't Gonna Stand
For It' by Stevie Wonder.
Scored you 9.
The Jimmy nail one?
Hey, Ells.
How was it?
What?
The walk?
Yeah, it was alright.
So where'd you get to?
Found a caf.
Had a coffee.
Oh yeah? Which one?
I dunno.
Right.
Fancy a hot choc?
I'm ok.
Can I go?
To my room?
Yeah, go where you want,
go where you want.
Well...
You piece of shit.
I'll
make you one anyway.
Come on!
Ella.
Ella?
Were you alright
in here last night?
Yeah.
You didn't go
and sit in that park?
- No.
- Really?
No.
Good.
Sorry my shit's
all over the place.
Oh, that's alright.
I'll- I'll cope.
Ok. Sorry.
Did you bring a hairdryer?
Don't use one.
No, only Terry next
door said his Fran's got
a free travel one.
- Good old Fran.
- Don't do that.
- Do what?
- That. Don't do it.
Be derisive, you know?
I know you're aggrieved.
I'll um...
I'll finish the drinks.
I didn't
want to go to his funeral
because he's never shown
any interest in me.
We had all those years to get
in touch and he never did.
And I know it's not about him,
it's about me,
and I didn't go, and
I'm alright with it.
But what I did do is come to
a meeting, and call people.
Share about it.
TV Presenter:
...and I can't bear it,
Tracy and Peter!
It's just dawned on me, this is
where we say goodbye to you.
Thank you for coming to play,
I'm sorry we're sending you home
without the trophy - - but it's
been lovely having you here.
Tracy and Peter!
Well, for the remaining
three pairs,
it's now time for round two.
There we are, thank you
very much indeed. That brings--
Wake up, my angel!
Wake up! Come on!
Ella! Ella!
What you doing? Get outta there!
Oh shut the fuck up!
Ells?
Ella?
I know you've come in, love.
I'm tired, Dad.
I just...
We'll speak
in the morning.
How'd the meeting go?
Good morning.
I got a nice cup of
tea here for you.
It's a bit burny-fingers.
So, you could get to
that meeting at 10,
you know, try and talk to Fiona.
Let's get straight.
Come on, now.
Did you go to the meeting?
Oh fucking hell, Dad,
wade straight in!
Did you?
Did you see Fiona?
Fuck Fiona!
- Ella!
- Yes, I went!
So you go to
the meeting at 10.
You know, I think
it's very important
that you meet with Fiona.
Could you stop saying
"Fiona" every five seconds?
I talked to her for two minutes
and I took her number!
I'm not going to
get my kids back
if I sit around in
cafs with alcoholics!
Do you mean that?
No.
Alright.
Ella?
Hello.
Hi.
Your hands are so small!
You should really
be wearing gloves.
Hello.
I'm Neil.
Are you gonna shake my hand?
Oh. Cheese Puffs.
Sorry. Should have wiped.
Too late now.
- I don't...
- I don't either.
Do I look like trouble?
You sometimes
stay until six.
- What did you say?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Five or six.
- What?
Well.. you stay until
all the mums have gone.
I sat next to you
before, but you didn't see me.
And it didn't feel
right to talk to you then.
It does now?
It does now.
- I...
- I'm not a nut.
- I could walk you home.
- What? No!
Actually, yeah,
I suppose that would seem
a bit nutty to you-
-offering to walk you home.
Look...
I'm not gonna
punch you in the head.
What?!
Saw it in the
news the other day.
This man just punched this woman
in the back of the head,
then ran off.
They say there's a
one-armed pedo hanging
around here - just a heads up!
You look really sad.
I wanna help.
You're just a kid.
I should go.
I'm almost 14 and
I'm taller than you.
I'm 40.
And I can walk home.
Did something bad happen?
You can't...
say that.
Why? No-one's
honest or caring.
I mean, people punch people
in the back of the head
and squeeze onto a bus like
it's a fight to the death.
Well, I care.
You seem nice.
I'm not. See ya.
I hope so.
What's your name?
Ella.
What are you after?
Dunno.
Just fancied something.
Well there's
some biscuits up there.
I'm not arsed
about biscuits.
Hmm.
Why would you bother with
biscuits when there's chocolate?
You want some?
What's happened?
What?
Well, you seem different.
No, you do,
you seem different.
In a good way.
Have you heard
about the one-armed pedo?
I'm really
not very comfortable
with paedophile jokes, Ella.
What? Oh, no, Jesus!
Dad, it's not a joke.
What?
Who's that?
Who is it?
Shit!
Let's just
pretend we're not here.
I can't. I waved.
Oh, well, if you waved!
They can't just turn up!
It'll be alright,
it'll be alright!
Hello, Joseph.
Nice to see you. Come in.
Hello.
She not coming in?
Oh, no,
just a quick one.
- Look who's here, Ella!
- Jesus, Dad.
- Hey El.
- Hey.
Where are the girls?
Oh, it's, er,
- Street Dance Thursdays.
- Hmm.
Right.
What do you want?
I'll make us
a cup of tea, eh?
No, Dad, you don't
have to leave the room.
No, I'll leave you to it.
Bethan not coming in?
She's happy in the car.
I'll get it!
Not happy
in the car, then?
- Hi.
- Hello, Bethan. Come in.
Thank you.
How you doing?
Yeah, I'm alright.
What is it you want, Joe?
Couldn't you have phoned?
It's not to
interrogate you, Ella.
It's just..
to see how you are.
Oh!
Is that what it is?
Go on then.
We wanna take the girls
to the Lakes for half-term.
- October half-term?
- Yeah.
Right, but you said
I could have them here
for a couple of days.
Hello, Bethan.
Yes. Sorry. Hello.
Um- I think we probably
should have just phoned.
He said you want to take
the girls for all of half-term,
but you can't.
That's not what we agreed.
- I'll make us a brew.
- No, Dad, don't pretend.
- Oh, here it comes.
- No, it doesn't "come",
I don't see my children.
Well that's
not our fault.
I'm sorry, but it's not.
You know
I think, considering,
you've seen them
more than enough.
- Do you?
- Yes!
You can't just have my
kids and pretend I'm not here.
And you can't decide to
be a mother when it suits you.
Alright, look, this
ain't getting us anywhere.
- No, it isn't.
- It's not.
Come on, El, let's all
leave it here for now, yeah?
Oh yeah, I mean we were
gonna leave anyway, so...
Sure, get that lasagne in.
What?
- Let's go!
- No, no, no!
W-what, what are you
saying about lasagne?
Why do you
have to be so nasty?
Come on!
Because I make
a good lasagne, actually,
but you just love to try -
Ella: What?
I'm actually
walking out now.
What do I just love to do?
Yeah, let's go.
Thanks for coming.
Sorry for...
Sorry, Alan.
It really will be alright.
It really won't.
It will take time
for them to trust you.
Three pairs!
That's just round two for you.
It's just how it goes.
We'll be losing another pair
at the end of this round.
I mean, not to give it away,
but that's how it works.
Best of luck to all three pairs.
What's your
favourite thing ever?
You can choose anything.
The sea?
Music?
Christmas?
I don't like Christmas.
I hate Christmas!
I can't listen to music now.
I just like Prince.
I like Prince, too.
I'd really like
to see the sea.
Never seen the sea?
Never been to.. Brighton?
- Margate?
- Nope.
I want to
go to Scarborough.
- For my birthday.
- In Yorkshire?
Jesus, why?
Well, since
I was little, really.
Scarborough.
I like sugar.
Yeah.
Me too.
I never met anyone
who doesn't like Christmas.
Christmas is for
the privileged, isn't it?
I got chocolate coins
and a puzzle at Christmas.
What'd you get?
My dad bought me a book.
Books are good.
It's called
"Living Sober".
Oh.
I've sort of
given up with it.
There's only so much
a person can take on.
Right. Yeah.
Why do you stare at
all the little girls here?
You do. You stare at
all the little girls,
and you look so sad.
Neil, is it?
Do your parents know
that you talk to
strange people in the park?
You need to be more
careful who you talk to.
My parents aren't
like other parents.
They don't really
care where I am.
- I bet they do.
- No,
not in a bad, dramatic way.
They're just really
old and innocent.
You have a nice smile.
You should
get it out more.
Listen, Neil,
I'm not a good person.
I don't know why
I'm standing here
telling you that, but..
I'm not.
Don't say that.
Your ears hear it.
Who are you?
I'm the kid
who smells of piss.
- What?!
- At school.
There's always a kid
that stinks of piss.
And I'm it. Him.
- No.
- Yeah.
You don't!
Who said that to you?
You are a good person.
You wouldn't say
that if you knew me.
I don't care
about what you've done.
I have two daughters.
But..
I don't...
I don't live with them any more.
I'm sorry.
Come, Mummy!
I don't miss you, Mummy.
Ella, hi, it's-it's Joe.
I'm sorry about the other night,
we realise it was
probably a bit unexpected.
Um-
We've been talking and
wondered if you'd like to meet
for a coffee to
talk things through.
Um, well, I hope you're ok.
Speak soon. Give me,
give me a call when you can.
Or a-or a text.
Okay, bye.
Um, yeah, bye.
My dad's a scientist.
I don't take pictures
of myself, or cake.
I'd rather eat cake.
My dad's scared of clouds.
I'm scared
of lots of things.
I'm not.
We'll all be dead soon.
I mean, pretty soon.
If I'm ever feeling I might
be scared about something,
I think to myself:
'Will I care about
this on my deathbed?'
and, and the answer's always no.
You're too young to
think about deathbeds.
You do not look 40,
by the way.
I think I look 50, now.
Yeah.
Yeah, actually
you look older up close.
Do you like school?
Mmm. I'm not
that good at school.
It means nothing.
The kids who are successful at
school disappear in real life.
Yeah! Yeah, my dad
was amazing at school,
but...he's shit at life.
I was shit at school
and I'm shit at life.
I doubt that.
My dad doesn't
actually have a real job.
Oh.
Where does he do his
scientist thing, then?
In his head. I mean,
he's full of ideas, but
nobody's willing
to give him a chance.
I mean, he has a
cure for lots of things.
Just.. people don't listen.
No.
They don't.
Did your mum die?
Yeah.
Cancer?
Yes.
I'm sorry.
You think
you gave it to her,
- don't you?
- What?!
You didn't, Ella.
Can I come to your house?
No! I mean,
I don't have one.
Then can I come
to where you're living?
Absolutely not.
Listen, Neil, I'm sorry
but I shouldn't stay here
and talk to you any more.
I wish you were my mum.
You're a nice boy,
but I'm not fit
to be anyone's mum.
- That isn't true!
- It really is.
Ells, it's 4am, love.
I'll turn it down.
No, that's
not what I mean.
It's not what I meant.
You ok?
No, Dad.
I know.
Dad, I met this
14 year-old boy
in the park called Neil.
He's filthy and he
doesn't wear a coat.
He's always there and he clearly
doesn't have any friends.
- Ella.
- No, wait Dad,
I think there's really
something wrong.
What are
you talking about?
Are you
spying on the girls?
This isn't
about the girls.
Is anything
about the girls?
That's a fucking
stinking thing to say!
Alright, I shouldn't
have said that. I'm sorry.
I don't want
to talk about meetings,
or living sober,
or friendly AA Fiona!
Fiona who I made up, by the way!
What?
Yeah!
Jesus.
Jesus.
Hiya.
- Thank you for coming.
- Yeah, thank you.
We, we just
wanted to say that we've
thought about half-term -
- and we'll go
to Brighton instead.
You can have the
girls for a couple of days
like we said.
Really?
Thank you.
They want
to see you, El.
Thank you.
So how you getting on?
Are you getting
to your meetings?
- Ella?
- Ella.
Yeah, I'm going
to my fucking meetings.
Okay? Is that okay?
El, come on.
Oh, for
goodness' sake, Ella.
What?
I really
don't understand
why it always
spirals so quickly.
Look, we--we have to
ask about the meetings.
We're not going to
pussy-foot around you.
And stop doing this...
evil step-mum bullshit.
It's really unhelpful.
Sure.
- How are your steps?
- None of your business.
Oh, Ella, please!
You've got to get
your shit together.
We all want that for you.
You don't
want that for me.
Yes, we do!
We're here today
to change things,
to look forward. For you!
Well, I'm
going to my meetings.
Is that ok?
Yeah.
And thank you.
Thank you for letting
me have my kids.
For two days.
Dad?
Neil!
- What are you doing here?
- Hello, Ella!
I don't think I wanna know
how you know where I live.
You'll have to go as
soon as my dad gets back.
Why?
Because...
where do I start?
He'll think it's weird?
I mean, nothing's weird
when you think about it.
I'm supposed to be
behaving better than I feel.
You warm enough
in Dad's coat?
I've told you,
I don't feel the cold.
Is your brother
older or younger?
Two years older.
We're not really bothered
about each other,
but him being older allows me
to get on with my own thing.
My parents assume
he's got an eye on me,
but uh,
I'm self-sufficient.
Why do you sit
around in that park?
I don't know.
Same as you, maybe.
I used to go there a long
time ago with my family.
I like that you're
never on your phone.
No-one messages me.
I don't have one.
Don't you parents
need to know you're safe?
They're just not that way.
You'll need to
get to the sea one day.
You could take me.
What happened
with your girls?
What did you
like about Prince?
I really love his
ruffles and gold trousers.
He did the
splits in heels.
So cool.
I try not to refer to
him in the past tense.
Gotcha.
He plays
loads of instruments,
and he doesn't follow the crowd.
Thanks for
the hot chocolate.
Alright, Dad?
Ella, you want a tea?
No thanks, Dad!
You ok?
Well, I'll...
- I'll leave you to it.
- Thanks, Dad.
There's old pictures
of my family in Scarborough.
There's this picture of two
couples holding hands
in tweedy clothes.
And hundreds of fish and chip
shops, like actually hundreds.
I don't feel as
angry when I'm with you.
That's fantastic.
What's funny?
You have a way
of saying things...
differently.
Yeah, I mean,
I think that's why
I don't have any friends.
We don't have a bedroom.
I sleep in the front room.
People are generally
horrified by that.
I don't find
that horrifying.
There's far worse things.
There is.
I don't have a bedroom either.
Huh.
Do you have a cigarette, Ella?
No, I bloody do not!!
Aren't you frozen, Neil?
It worries me that
you don't wear a coat.
I'm never cold.
You know that.
You're higher!
Woah!
- I'm going to beat you!
- No you're not!
- Oh yes I will!
- No you won't!
You may be older than me,
but I've been doing this
for much longer than you.
The girls!
Did she just
scurry off with my kids?
Ella... we saw you,
we saw you, but we hadn't
scheduled or, you know,
arranged for you
to see the girls
and you looked quite
mental on the swings.
Please don't shout. The girls
might see you. Shouting.
No, Joseph, the girls
are being bundled into a car.
Hi.
Sorry, um- who is this?
I thought you
didn't like this
crappy little park any more.
Hey! I like
this little park.
He called
it crappy, not me.
I like this little park.
Who is this?
- I'm going over to them!
- Ella. Ella!
Ella. Ella, stop! Ella!
Ella! Stop!
Fuck.
FUCK! Ella!
Fuck!
Sorry.
No need.
She won't get to the car.
What's wrong
with this park?
Since someone burnt
down the dinosaur slide,
we've not been back
with the girls since.
Except today.
Well, yeah. Yeah. Today.
See?
I liked the
burnt dinosaur slide.
I liked how it looked in all
the middle of the shiny things.
Looked a bit like Ella.
I was concerned
that someone might
burn something else down,
you know?
Nah.
I reckon they were done.
She's coming back.
Looks a bit like Dora
the Explorer with that backpack.
You should be nice to her.
Carassius auratus.
Yeah.. what?
You look like a goldfish
doing that with your mouth.
Don't shout, Ella.
Just say it.
You shouldn't
have brought them here.
You know I used to, and it's-
It's so close to Dad's.
The girls don't need to
see me like this.
Have a good night.
I'll walk you?
Thanks.
I'm alright.
Shall we
have some ice cream?
- Yeah!
- Yeah?
Yeah. Maybe a mint?
Is there brownie?
In ice cream?
Why did we go to the park?
It's not too late.
All she wants to do is be a mum.
I'm sorry, fella,
I have absolutely no idea
who you are or what
you're talking about.
You have no clue
what you're saying.
Who are you?
Why are you here with Ella?
what is the most populated
city in the USA?
Gonna have to hurry you on that.
Hello, Alan.
Give me two minutes.
Okay.
Are you trying
to make things worse?
I don't know, Dad.
When are you
going to start thinking?
Hello again.
Lovely room.
Thank you.
Here you are.
Thank you.
This is really nice, Alan.
Just start, please.
Teas on knees.
How old did you
say you was, young man?
- He's 14.
- I'm almost 14.
Oh dear.
Does your mum and dad
know you're out?
It's not even late,
and they wouldn't
really mind if it was.
They don't
really notice things,
and they're not
like other people.
And you met in the park?
I mean, you seem to find
trouble wherever you look.
I don't know how you do it.
I know.
And you're
sitting in parks again?
We love parks.
Right, well, I want you
to text your mum and dad,
and tell them you're safe,
and then give them our address.
I've not
got a mobile phone,
they've not got a mobile phone.
I can try the landline from your
landline if you want, but...
The landline's
in the hall. I'll show you.
Um, Please may I
finish my soup first?
Yeah. Go on, son,
finish your soup.
Ah, that's cold.
It's just
ringing and ringing.
They never
answer the phone.
Dad'll be writing lists,
and Mum'll be washing
pots in the bath.
How long are you gonna
live in the girls' room?
Well...
I have to go to these meetings.
And not drink.
I did drink.
A lot.
I'd wake up in
the morning panicking.
But I didn't do
anything about it.
Sometimes I'd drink
in the afternoons.
And I shouted at people.
A lot of people.
Including the girls.
Once you've...
crossed some lines...
Best we don't
talk about this now.
But why?
Why did you do that,
do you think?
It wasn't just
sometimes in the afternoons.
Yeah, but not like,
in the mornings.
It was in
front of the girls.
Yeah, but not,
like, all the time.
It was enough.
Yeah.
Enough.
Don't drink, and
you'll get them back.
I don't think
I'll ever get them back.
I'll get them more.
And prove to Joseph that
I can be a normal mum.
No-one has a normal mum.
They just look like they do.
My mum was normal.
Wasn't she, Dad?
Yeah.
Anyway...
Joseph and Bethan
are better for them right now.
Oh-
Don't you have friends?
People lose patience
when you keep fucking up.
Don't swear.
I've said
"fuck" before, Alan.
I'm very sorry that
all this has happened to you,
that your girls were taken away.
I gave up on them, really.
Well, it sounds like
you did that for them.
I'll leave you
both to it, then.
Thank you for the soup.
I think we should've
took him home.
He wouldn't have let us.
You know, that's-
the most I've heard you
speak in a long time.
Yeah.
Ella...
What's to say, Dad?
I think..
you should go to
meetings every day
- and put the work in.
- Please stop.
Dad, you haven't drunk
in twenty years,
and you never went to meetings
and you never did the work.
You thought the girls
were better off without me.
I never said that.
I never thought that.
Well, here we are.
We've never been people
who talk about things.
Let's not start now,
and please don't push me
to go to meetings. I don't
even want to get out of bed.
- I've noticed.
- Get stuffed!
Ella.
I've been going back
to meetings again.
I know I'm a hypocrite.
And you're right. You're right.
We've never talked.
Good for you.
I hate the meetings, Dad.
I feel like an imposter and
I'm terrified when I speak.
I don't wanna write
lists and drink shit tea.
Everyone feels like that.
No, they're all
high-fiving each other!
No, that's what you want
to see to stop yourself going.
Ah! Funny!...Nope!!
Everyone feels
self-conscious speaking,
and the tea's not shit.
Well, I'm glad
you've come to your senses.
I wanna go to bed now.
Your children
are alive and healthy.
Yeah?
But they need you.
I'm fucking grieving!
Okay?
I know they're alive
but I'm grieving for them,
for the life I threw away!
- Ella, listen to me.
- Stop talking!
Ella, come here.
Look at where
I'm living, Dad!
I know.
Please just
let me go to sleep.
- Come here.
- Please, stop!
Please let - please
don't touch me!
Ella?
It's three hours.
You change in York.
Then it's a 10 minute walk
to the beach.
I don't know-
-do 13 year-olds get trains
on their own?
It's my birthday.
You can come with me.
You know I can't.
I know you know I can't.
Ella.
I am not giving you
my blessing to do this.
What about your parents?
They won't care.
But you'll
ask them, though?
Sure.
Cause
anything could happen.
Probably it won't.
Well, I'll come to
your house and tell them.
No need,
if you come with me.
I'm not coming
with you, Neil.
Would you like to hear
some Scarborough facts,
- interesting and unusual?
- I suppose.
The castle is managed and
maintained by English Heritage.
This natural fortress was used
by prehistoric settlers.
Romans -
- Hello, Alan.
- Hello, Neil.
During the Civil War,
the castle was under siege
for 12 months.
The castle will be
my first stop,
and then Flamingo Bay
for a knickerbocker glory.
Ella, can I have a word?
You can read the rest.
Do you know anything
about Scarborough, Alan?
There's a theatre. Ella?
Why's he here?
He's a young boy.
You can't be friends
with a young boy.
Ella?!
What?
I'm here. I'm your dad.
I'm here to support you.
- Me.
- Right?
You need to stop
feeling sorry for yourself.
No, I do feel
sorry for myself.
I do. I don't care
how that seems.
He obviously
doesn't have anyone.
What do you
want me to say to him -
"Can you go away,
now that you trust me?"
Yes, he trusts you,
and that ain't right.
- You're not his mum.
- I know.
Why are you
always so angry at me?
You know, Mum would've
welcomed me here.
She wouldn't have
lectured me all the time.
Don't use her.
Don't you dare.
Bethan's here.
- Oh!
- Oh good.
Alright, come on Neil.
You want tea?
Oh, no, no, thank you.
I-I can't drink
caffeine after midday.
Who-who was that boy?
Is that the boy from the park?
I'm going to a
meeting in a minute, Bethan.
Yes, sorry,
that's great, Ella.
I...
Sorry, do you mind if I just...
Um, God, I don't know how
I'm going to say all of this.
I got it in my head
properly and everything.
Just say it.
Okay. Ehm-
I think you need to
think about the girls,
and how they are with Joe.
And you think the
girls should stay with Joe.
No, no,
I didn't say that.
Please don't assume-
Well, you're
here without him, so...
Go on.
I know the girls are
coming here for half-term,
for a bit, and I just...
Well, I just wanted you to know
they're doing really well.
They're sleeping again, and
doing so good in school,
and yeah, just,
they're just doing really well.
And you don't want
me to mess it all up again.
No.
I don't.
I know you think I'm
the bad one in all this.
- That's so funny.
- Is it?
I don't think that.
I know who the bad one is.
You know,
I think in another world
we'd probably be friends.
Do you?
No?
No.
You want my kids.
I don't, actually.
I don't want them.
I never wanted kids.
I'm sorry, I-
I love them, though.
Yep.
You couldn't do it.
I thought they were better
with you until I got better.
Oh, sorry.
You off, then, Bethan?
Yeah, uh, who are you?
Oh, he's family.
He's, uh... he's helping me
- around the house a bit.
- Oh. Oh.
- I'll see you out.
- Oh.
Sorry.
- See you later.
- Yeah, see you. Bye bye.
Bye.
You ok?
Yeah.
I can help around
the house if you'd like.
Look, I don't want you
to walk me.
No, I wanna come to your
home, talk to your parents.
They're not in.
Well, where are they?
They're at my
aunty's drinking weak tea.
- They go there every Sunday.
- It's Saturday.
They go there
every Saturday, then.
Saturday, Sunday..
What's the difference?
Well where's your brother?
At his fancy girlfriend's.
What's your
brother's name?
Jeff.
That isn't the
name of a teenage boy.
- Isn't it?
- No.
Well, it's Jeffrey.
That also isn't
a teenage boy's name.
- Isn't it?
- No.
What are your parents called?
- Dorothy and Christopher.
- Are you sure?
Well, that's what they've
been saying their names are.
- What's the deal?
- What's the deal, Neil?
I don't think you should
come to see Ella any more.
I know.
Ella, she done
lots of bad things.
A lot of people
can't forgive her.
I can.
What do you think
is going to happen here?
You can't be best friends.
She's not your mother,
you've got your own mother.
She can't even be a
mother to her own children.
That is an extremely
unkind thing to say.
No, I...
That's not what I meant.
I know Ella feels like she's a
mother when she's around you,
but do you think Joseph
and Bethan think
that your friendship
is appropriate?
Do you think that they
think that she's sane enough
to be around her own children
when she's knocking about
with a strange boy in the park?
I don't mean strange, I mean...
stranger strange.
Stranger strange.
Well, you're bright
enough to understand
- what I'm talking about.
- Bright as a button!
Yes.
You sound a bit
blackmaily to me.
No. Not at all.
Well, what about
what Bethan just said?
I think...
Bethan rushed to the school
when Ella didn't turn up.
She's been there every day.
You see there's more
than one side to a story.
Yeah.
And I'm on Ella's side.
No-one else is.
And there's a reason why
Ella did those things.
I mean, you're her dad.
You know that.
That's what no-one seems
to give a shit about, Alan.
That's my side of the story.
So sorry.
Bethan/Waiter:
So it's pasta and pesto?
- Neil, is it?
- Yup.
What are you doing?
I live up there.
Okay.
Were you watching us?
Yeah.
Oh.. uh..
Fussy, isn't she?
She's done that
food intolerance test.
She's allergic to everything.
Nightmare.
She's probably got orthorexia.
What's that?
It's this thing
where people obsess
about eating healthily.
We're all addicted to
something these days, aren't we?
How d'you know El?
She's my friend.
Oh, yeah, you're
laughing 'cause I'm a kid.
Oh, well,
no, I just uh...
I thought I knew all
of Ella's friends.
She hasn't got
any friends any more.
You're doing that goldfish
mouth-thing again.
Yes, yes,
I'm aware of that.
I kept seeing
Ella in the park.
I thought she was
one of the mums at first.
She would always watch
the kids until everyone left.
I followed her home one time
to make sure she was ok.
She cried the whole way back.
I could tell she needed
someone to talk to.
You should probably go back in.
Huh?
Oh, yeah.
Where are the girls?
They're with
Bethan's sister.
Oh, nice.
That's nice for Bethan's sister.
Can I have
one of those, mate?
No.
Go on, then.
They're menthol.
Thank you. Minty fresh.
Hey, wait!
Did you know we were
gonna be here?
What?!
What?!
Ells?
Ella?
Ugh!
Oh!
- Oh.
- Alan, hi.
Um- is Ella here?
No.
Oh. I'd...
I'd really like to talk to her.
Why?
Um...
She's not here, Bethan.
I- well, I... I'd just
like to say sorry for last time.
No, there's no need.
I just keep playing
things over in my mind.
Yeah, me too.
It's all
such a mess, isn't it?
Yeah.
- Bethan.
- Yeah?
Thank you.
For what you do for those kids.
Alright.
Dad?
Dad?!
Bethan came round tonight.
So?
Well, I think
she wanted to...
Unbelievable.
You're not the only one
who lost them, you know.
No, I'm not doing this.
No, listen to me, listen.
Dad, I was-
Alan: Will you fucking listen!
Dad!
I miss them too.
They mean everything to me.
I know.
I took everything
away from all of us.
You're a baby,
you're
such a fucking baby,
Ella.
And you're always...
you're always so cold.
I can't do this, Ella.
I can't cope with this, Ella.
I've lost your mum,
I've lost the girls,
and now I'm losing you.
And we live in
an house, and there...
there's no care for
one another, there...
there's no care, you know?
And I just... I wanna
get ya and shake ya.
I-I- I wanna fucking shake ya,
and show you what
you need to do.
You know, do you
remember what you did?
Yes.
Do you remember
what you did?
Yes.
They're scared of you, Ella.
Scared. And they
don't need to be scared.
You know, you need to
show them that they don't
need to be scared, you know.
Fight for them! Get out there
and fight for your kids!
You know, because one day
your life will be over
and you can't go back
and make it better.
And... and I know...
I know I- I haven't been the
greatest dad in the world,
but you know what?
At least, at least I tried.
Is that what you think?
Tell you what,
don't do it for me, then.
And don't you do
it for yourself.
You do it for them kids.
And hopefully they won't
fucking end up like you.
I'm so glad
you're coming, Ella.
Mummy!
- Mummy!
- Come, mummy!
Mummy,
it's time to wake up.
We're really
angry with you now.
Mummy,
it's time to wake up!
Sorry we couldn't
get in the castle.
I don't care.
I just wanted to see it.
We came all this way.
I really don't care.
So incredible.
Look at these views!
I wanna go there!
We just got here.
It's a massive,
glimmering arcade, Ella!
Thought you
hated computer games.
I do, but the two pence
thingy and the grabby thing...
Yeah?
You've got to
see this properly.
Ah, wow. See that?
Thanks for coming, Ella.
I'm sorry you're so sad.
I'm always
bloody sad, aren't I?
Sadder sad.
- Happy birthday, Neil.
- Thank you.
Do you think we'll have time
to go and see York Minister,
when we're done?
Minster. I don't think so.
Should've
got a later train.
When I get arrested
for kidnapping at least
they'll take into account that
I got you home at a decent hour.
I love that people might
be thinking you're my mum.
You should adopt me.
You should!
You can adopt kids
until they're 18.
You do realise the
irony in that, don't you?
And you have a mum.
We can't keep
meeting up forever, Neil.
I've told my
parents we're friends.
They're not bothered.
Well what did they say?
Dad wasn't listening,
and Mum said something like
- "That's nice, dear."
- Don't believe you.
That's how it happened.
You can meet them
when we go back.
We'll have cake in our garden.
And then I'll tell
them I'm adopting you.
Is it how you imagined?
Different up
North, isn't it?
Yes.
I don't think
that's a bad thing.
It's not.
It's a bit more
worn-out than I'd imagined.
I know how it feels.
Beautiful, though.
You see the
good in everything.
I get my girls tomorrow.
Yeah!
Yeah. But...
Never mind.
Are you ready for your
knickerbocker glory?
Well come on!
Oi! Give me that!
I loved smoking.
Where were you?
Why do you have
Orville the duck?
I got him with my tickets.
What's the matter with you?
Nothing's the matter.
Did you love the Flamingo Bay?
I did.
It's very bright.
I love flamingos.
I'm tired.
You're crashing
from your ice cream.
Curl up and have a snooze?
Ella.
- Made me jump!
- Ella.
Thought you were asleep.
Ella.
Yes?
What's in your backpack?
What?
What's in your backpack?
I don't understand.
Yes, you do.
My stuff.
No.
Yes. I-I don't
know what you mean.
You do.
Please tell me.
My purse, my
phone, and all that.
- No.
- Neil.
What else?
Actually, a lot of
shit I need to clear out.
Can I look?
No!
No, don't be silly.
Hey, do you wanna go on
Space Invader Frenzy,
one more time? Before we leave?
We could go get
that fridge magnet.
How did you know?
I don't know
how I know things.
- I just do.
- It's OK.
I don't think it is.
No, I wasn't
gonna drink it.
You get your
girls tomorrow!
But.. Fuck it, let's drink it!
No!
What? It's my birthday!
I'm 14!
Bet you drank at 14.
Go on.
Go on.
No!
No?
No!
Come on!
Did you see them?
Did you see my girls?
No.
No! No, no!
They were here!
I didn't see them.
But that's not right!
How could they be here?
Why did you walk into the sea?
Don't! No!
Did you call for them
or something?
That doesn't
make any sense.
You're frozen.
- You're frozen too.
- I'm not.
I wasn't trying
to hurt myself.
You walked into the sea,
in October, in Scarborough.
We need to get
you some clothes.
My backpack's gone.
Huh.
They didn't take my shoes.
Come on.
Thanks.
My purse was in my bag.
Oh.
Two teas, please.
And, um, do you have any towels?
What for?
We're quite wet.
Right.
Thank you.
She thinks we're mad.
She just thinks
we're from London.
Thank you.
I love strong tea.
My Yorkshire roots, probably.
I'm sorry about this.
On your birthday.
I certainly
won't forget it.
You're just going to have
to tie yourself to the mast.
Really big things happen and
life just goes on, doesn't it?
One more tea, please.
I have enough, haven't I?
Yeah.
Very reasonable.
I love your costume.
It's a uniform.
Well, it's lovely.
Hold on
a minute, love.
Tell your mum to come through.
Mum?
The lady wants
you to go through.
You look nice.
Thanks.
No, really...
Thank you.
No bother.
Who's the other tea for?
Dad!
What the fuck are
you doing in Scarborough?
Don't swear.
I went on the beach first.
We just came from there.
Hello.
Hello, Neil.
What are you wearing?
Will you two be alright?
Where are you going?
I've got 80p,
I want to go see
if I can get that fridge magnet.
You'll be so cold!
Come on.
Thanks, Alan.
Happy birthday, Neil.
You're coming
back, aren't you?
There's a tea there, Alan.
Sit down, Dad.
Well.
You came.
Of course.
Mummy!
Mummy!
Lilah, come on!
The number
one single, and it was
'This Ain't A Love Song'
and that would've
scored you 30 points.
It's not
'I Ain't Gonna Go For It',
it's 'I Ain't Gonna Stand
For It' by Stevie Wonder.
Scored you 9.
The Jimmy nail one?
Hey, Ells.
How was it?
What?
The walk?
Yeah, it was alright.
So where'd you get to?
Found a caf.
Had a coffee.
Oh yeah? Which one?
I dunno.
Right.
Fancy a hot choc?
I'm ok.
Can I go?
To my room?
Yeah, go where you want,
go where you want.
Well...
You piece of shit.
I'll
make you one anyway.
Come on!
Ella.
Ella?
Were you alright
in here last night?
Yeah.
You didn't go
and sit in that park?
- No.
- Really?
No.
Good.
Sorry my shit's
all over the place.
Oh, that's alright.
I'll- I'll cope.
Ok. Sorry.
Did you bring a hairdryer?
Don't use one.
No, only Terry next
door said his Fran's got
a free travel one.
- Good old Fran.
- Don't do that.
- Do what?
- That. Don't do it.
Be derisive, you know?
I know you're aggrieved.
I'll um...
I'll finish the drinks.
I didn't
want to go to his funeral
because he's never shown
any interest in me.
We had all those years to get
in touch and he never did.
And I know it's not about him,
it's about me,
and I didn't go, and
I'm alright with it.
But what I did do is come to
a meeting, and call people.
Share about it.
TV Presenter:
...and I can't bear it,
Tracy and Peter!
It's just dawned on me, this is
where we say goodbye to you.
Thank you for coming to play,
I'm sorry we're sending you home
without the trophy - - but it's
been lovely having you here.
Tracy and Peter!
Well, for the remaining
three pairs,
it's now time for round two.
There we are, thank you
very much indeed. That brings--
Wake up, my angel!
Wake up! Come on!
Ella! Ella!
What you doing? Get outta there!
Oh shut the fuck up!
Ells?
Ella?
I know you've come in, love.
I'm tired, Dad.
I just...
We'll speak
in the morning.
How'd the meeting go?
Good morning.
I got a nice cup of
tea here for you.
It's a bit burny-fingers.
So, you could get to
that meeting at 10,
you know, try and talk to Fiona.
Let's get straight.
Come on, now.
Did you go to the meeting?
Oh fucking hell, Dad,
wade straight in!
Did you?
Did you see Fiona?
Fuck Fiona!
- Ella!
- Yes, I went!
So you go to
the meeting at 10.
You know, I think
it's very important
that you meet with Fiona.
Could you stop saying
"Fiona" every five seconds?
I talked to her for two minutes
and I took her number!
I'm not going to
get my kids back
if I sit around in
cafs with alcoholics!
Do you mean that?
No.
Alright.
Ella?
Hello.
Hi.
Your hands are so small!
You should really
be wearing gloves.
Hello.
I'm Neil.
Are you gonna shake my hand?
Oh. Cheese Puffs.
Sorry. Should have wiped.
Too late now.
- I don't...
- I don't either.
Do I look like trouble?
You sometimes
stay until six.
- What did you say?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Five or six.
- What?
Well.. you stay until
all the mums have gone.
I sat next to you
before, but you didn't see me.
And it didn't feel
right to talk to you then.
It does now?
It does now.
- I...
- I'm not a nut.
- I could walk you home.
- What? No!
Actually, yeah,
I suppose that would seem
a bit nutty to you-
-offering to walk you home.
Look...
I'm not gonna
punch you in the head.
What?!
Saw it in the
news the other day.
This man just punched this woman
in the back of the head,
then ran off.
They say there's a
one-armed pedo hanging
around here - just a heads up!
You look really sad.
I wanna help.
You're just a kid.
I should go.
I'm almost 14 and
I'm taller than you.
I'm 40.
And I can walk home.
Did something bad happen?
You can't...
say that.
Why? No-one's
honest or caring.
I mean, people punch people
in the back of the head
and squeeze onto a bus like
it's a fight to the death.
Well, I care.
You seem nice.
I'm not. See ya.
I hope so.
What's your name?
Ella.
What are you after?
Dunno.
Just fancied something.
Well there's
some biscuits up there.
I'm not arsed
about biscuits.
Hmm.
Why would you bother with
biscuits when there's chocolate?
You want some?
What's happened?
What?
Well, you seem different.
No, you do,
you seem different.
In a good way.
Have you heard
about the one-armed pedo?
I'm really
not very comfortable
with paedophile jokes, Ella.
What? Oh, no, Jesus!
Dad, it's not a joke.
What?
Who's that?
Who is it?
Shit!
Let's just
pretend we're not here.
I can't. I waved.
Oh, well, if you waved!
They can't just turn up!
It'll be alright,
it'll be alright!
Hello, Joseph.
Nice to see you. Come in.
Hello.
She not coming in?
Oh, no,
just a quick one.
- Look who's here, Ella!
- Jesus, Dad.
- Hey El.
- Hey.
Where are the girls?
Oh, it's, er,
- Street Dance Thursdays.
- Hmm.
Right.
What do you want?
I'll make us
a cup of tea, eh?
No, Dad, you don't
have to leave the room.
No, I'll leave you to it.
Bethan not coming in?
She's happy in the car.
I'll get it!
Not happy
in the car, then?
- Hi.
- Hello, Bethan. Come in.
Thank you.
How you doing?
Yeah, I'm alright.
What is it you want, Joe?
Couldn't you have phoned?
It's not to
interrogate you, Ella.
It's just..
to see how you are.
Oh!
Is that what it is?
Go on then.
We wanna take the girls
to the Lakes for half-term.
- October half-term?
- Yeah.
Right, but you said
I could have them here
for a couple of days.
Hello, Bethan.
Yes. Sorry. Hello.
Um- I think we probably
should have just phoned.
He said you want to take
the girls for all of half-term,
but you can't.
That's not what we agreed.
- I'll make us a brew.
- No, Dad, don't pretend.
- Oh, here it comes.
- No, it doesn't "come",
I don't see my children.
Well that's
not our fault.
I'm sorry, but it's not.
You know
I think, considering,
you've seen them
more than enough.
- Do you?
- Yes!
You can't just have my
kids and pretend I'm not here.
And you can't decide to
be a mother when it suits you.
Alright, look, this
ain't getting us anywhere.
- No, it isn't.
- It's not.
Come on, El, let's all
leave it here for now, yeah?
Oh yeah, I mean we were
gonna leave anyway, so...
Sure, get that lasagne in.
What?
- Let's go!
- No, no, no!
W-what, what are you
saying about lasagne?
Why do you
have to be so nasty?
Come on!
Because I make
a good lasagne, actually,
but you just love to try -
Ella: What?
I'm actually
walking out now.
What do I just love to do?
Yeah, let's go.
Thanks for coming.
Sorry for...
Sorry, Alan.
It really will be alright.
It really won't.
It will take time
for them to trust you.
Three pairs!
That's just round two for you.
It's just how it goes.
We'll be losing another pair
at the end of this round.
I mean, not to give it away,
but that's how it works.
Best of luck to all three pairs.
What's your
favourite thing ever?
You can choose anything.
The sea?
Music?
Christmas?
I don't like Christmas.
I hate Christmas!
I can't listen to music now.
I just like Prince.
I like Prince, too.
I'd really like
to see the sea.
Never seen the sea?
Never been to.. Brighton?
- Margate?
- Nope.
I want to
go to Scarborough.
- For my birthday.
- In Yorkshire?
Jesus, why?
Well, since
I was little, really.
Scarborough.
I like sugar.
Yeah.
Me too.
I never met anyone
who doesn't like Christmas.
Christmas is for
the privileged, isn't it?
I got chocolate coins
and a puzzle at Christmas.
What'd you get?
My dad bought me a book.
Books are good.
It's called
"Living Sober".
Oh.
I've sort of
given up with it.
There's only so much
a person can take on.
Right. Yeah.
Why do you stare at
all the little girls here?
You do. You stare at
all the little girls,
and you look so sad.
Neil, is it?
Do your parents know
that you talk to
strange people in the park?
You need to be more
careful who you talk to.
My parents aren't
like other parents.
They don't really
care where I am.
- I bet they do.
- No,
not in a bad, dramatic way.
They're just really
old and innocent.
You have a nice smile.
You should
get it out more.
Listen, Neil,
I'm not a good person.
I don't know why
I'm standing here
telling you that, but..
I'm not.
Don't say that.
Your ears hear it.
Who are you?
I'm the kid
who smells of piss.
- What?!
- At school.
There's always a kid
that stinks of piss.
And I'm it. Him.
- No.
- Yeah.
You don't!
Who said that to you?
You are a good person.
You wouldn't say
that if you knew me.
I don't care
about what you've done.
I have two daughters.
But..
I don't...
I don't live with them any more.
I'm sorry.
Come, Mummy!
I don't miss you, Mummy.
Ella, hi, it's-it's Joe.
I'm sorry about the other night,
we realise it was
probably a bit unexpected.
Um-
We've been talking and
wondered if you'd like to meet
for a coffee to
talk things through.
Um, well, I hope you're ok.
Speak soon. Give me,
give me a call when you can.
Or a-or a text.
Okay, bye.
Um, yeah, bye.
My dad's a scientist.
I don't take pictures
of myself, or cake.
I'd rather eat cake.
My dad's scared of clouds.
I'm scared
of lots of things.
I'm not.
We'll all be dead soon.
I mean, pretty soon.
If I'm ever feeling I might
be scared about something,
I think to myself:
'Will I care about
this on my deathbed?'
and, and the answer's always no.
You're too young to
think about deathbeds.
You do not look 40,
by the way.
I think I look 50, now.
Yeah.
Yeah, actually
you look older up close.
Do you like school?
Mmm. I'm not
that good at school.
It means nothing.
The kids who are successful at
school disappear in real life.
Yeah! Yeah, my dad
was amazing at school,
but...he's shit at life.
I was shit at school
and I'm shit at life.
I doubt that.
My dad doesn't
actually have a real job.
Oh.
Where does he do his
scientist thing, then?
In his head. I mean,
he's full of ideas, but
nobody's willing
to give him a chance.
I mean, he has a
cure for lots of things.
Just.. people don't listen.
No.
They don't.
Did your mum die?
Yeah.
Cancer?
Yes.
I'm sorry.
You think
you gave it to her,
- don't you?
- What?!
You didn't, Ella.
Can I come to your house?
No! I mean,
I don't have one.
Then can I come
to where you're living?
Absolutely not.
Listen, Neil, I'm sorry
but I shouldn't stay here
and talk to you any more.
I wish you were my mum.
You're a nice boy,
but I'm not fit
to be anyone's mum.
- That isn't true!
- It really is.
Ells, it's 4am, love.
I'll turn it down.
No, that's
not what I mean.
It's not what I meant.
You ok?
No, Dad.
I know.
Dad, I met this
14 year-old boy
in the park called Neil.
He's filthy and he
doesn't wear a coat.
He's always there and he clearly
doesn't have any friends.
- Ella.
- No, wait Dad,
I think there's really
something wrong.
What are
you talking about?
Are you
spying on the girls?
This isn't
about the girls.
Is anything
about the girls?
That's a fucking
stinking thing to say!
Alright, I shouldn't
have said that. I'm sorry.
I don't want
to talk about meetings,
or living sober,
or friendly AA Fiona!
Fiona who I made up, by the way!
What?
Yeah!
Jesus.
Jesus.
Hiya.
- Thank you for coming.
- Yeah, thank you.
We, we just
wanted to say that we've
thought about half-term -
- and we'll go
to Brighton instead.
You can have the
girls for a couple of days
like we said.
Really?
Thank you.
They want
to see you, El.
Thank you.
So how you getting on?
Are you getting
to your meetings?
- Ella?
- Ella.
Yeah, I'm going
to my fucking meetings.
Okay? Is that okay?
El, come on.
Oh, for
goodness' sake, Ella.
What?
I really
don't understand
why it always
spirals so quickly.
Look, we--we have to
ask about the meetings.
We're not going to
pussy-foot around you.
And stop doing this...
evil step-mum bullshit.
It's really unhelpful.
Sure.
- How are your steps?
- None of your business.
Oh, Ella, please!
You've got to get
your shit together.
We all want that for you.
You don't
want that for me.
Yes, we do!
We're here today
to change things,
to look forward. For you!
Well, I'm
going to my meetings.
Is that ok?
Yeah.
And thank you.
Thank you for letting
me have my kids.
For two days.
Dad?
Neil!
- What are you doing here?
- Hello, Ella!
I don't think I wanna know
how you know where I live.
You'll have to go as
soon as my dad gets back.
Why?
Because...
where do I start?
He'll think it's weird?
I mean, nothing's weird
when you think about it.
I'm supposed to be
behaving better than I feel.
You warm enough
in Dad's coat?
I've told you,
I don't feel the cold.
Is your brother
older or younger?
Two years older.
We're not really bothered
about each other,
but him being older allows me
to get on with my own thing.
My parents assume
he's got an eye on me,
but uh,
I'm self-sufficient.
Why do you sit
around in that park?
I don't know.
Same as you, maybe.
I used to go there a long
time ago with my family.
I like that you're
never on your phone.
No-one messages me.
I don't have one.
Don't you parents
need to know you're safe?
They're just not that way.
You'll need to
get to the sea one day.
You could take me.
What happened
with your girls?
What did you
like about Prince?
I really love his
ruffles and gold trousers.
He did the
splits in heels.
So cool.
I try not to refer to
him in the past tense.
Gotcha.
He plays
loads of instruments,
and he doesn't follow the crowd.
Thanks for
the hot chocolate.
Alright, Dad?
Ella, you want a tea?
No thanks, Dad!
You ok?
Well, I'll...
- I'll leave you to it.
- Thanks, Dad.
There's old pictures
of my family in Scarborough.
There's this picture of two
couples holding hands
in tweedy clothes.
And hundreds of fish and chip
shops, like actually hundreds.
I don't feel as
angry when I'm with you.
That's fantastic.
What's funny?
You have a way
of saying things...
differently.
Yeah, I mean,
I think that's why
I don't have any friends.
We don't have a bedroom.
I sleep in the front room.
People are generally
horrified by that.
I don't find
that horrifying.
There's far worse things.
There is.
I don't have a bedroom either.
Huh.
Do you have a cigarette, Ella?
No, I bloody do not!!
Aren't you frozen, Neil?
It worries me that
you don't wear a coat.
I'm never cold.
You know that.
You're higher!
Woah!
- I'm going to beat you!
- No you're not!
- Oh yes I will!
- No you won't!
You may be older than me,
but I've been doing this
for much longer than you.
The girls!
Did she just
scurry off with my kids?
Ella... we saw you,
we saw you, but we hadn't
scheduled or, you know,
arranged for you
to see the girls
and you looked quite
mental on the swings.
Please don't shout. The girls
might see you. Shouting.
No, Joseph, the girls
are being bundled into a car.
Hi.
Sorry, um- who is this?
I thought you
didn't like this
crappy little park any more.
Hey! I like
this little park.
He called
it crappy, not me.
I like this little park.
Who is this?
- I'm going over to them!
- Ella. Ella!
Ella. Ella, stop! Ella!
Ella! Stop!
Fuck.
FUCK! Ella!
Fuck!
Sorry.
No need.
She won't get to the car.
What's wrong
with this park?
Since someone burnt
down the dinosaur slide,
we've not been back
with the girls since.
Except today.
Well, yeah. Yeah. Today.
See?
I liked the
burnt dinosaur slide.
I liked how it looked in all
the middle of the shiny things.
Looked a bit like Ella.
I was concerned
that someone might
burn something else down,
you know?
Nah.
I reckon they were done.
She's coming back.
Looks a bit like Dora
the Explorer with that backpack.
You should be nice to her.
Carassius auratus.
Yeah.. what?
You look like a goldfish
doing that with your mouth.
Don't shout, Ella.
Just say it.
You shouldn't
have brought them here.
You know I used to, and it's-
It's so close to Dad's.
The girls don't need to
see me like this.
Have a good night.
I'll walk you?
Thanks.
I'm alright.
Shall we
have some ice cream?
- Yeah!
- Yeah?
Yeah. Maybe a mint?
Is there brownie?
In ice cream?
Why did we go to the park?
It's not too late.
All she wants to do is be a mum.
I'm sorry, fella,
I have absolutely no idea
who you are or what
you're talking about.
You have no clue
what you're saying.
Who are you?
Why are you here with Ella?
what is the most populated
city in the USA?
Gonna have to hurry you on that.
Hello, Alan.
Give me two minutes.
Okay.
Are you trying
to make things worse?
I don't know, Dad.
When are you
going to start thinking?
Hello again.
Lovely room.
Thank you.
Here you are.
Thank you.
This is really nice, Alan.
Just start, please.
Teas on knees.
How old did you
say you was, young man?
- He's 14.
- I'm almost 14.
Oh dear.
Does your mum and dad
know you're out?
It's not even late,
and they wouldn't
really mind if it was.
They don't
really notice things,
and they're not
like other people.
And you met in the park?
I mean, you seem to find
trouble wherever you look.
I don't know how you do it.
I know.
And you're
sitting in parks again?
We love parks.
Right, well, I want you
to text your mum and dad,
and tell them you're safe,
and then give them our address.
I've not
got a mobile phone,
they've not got a mobile phone.
I can try the landline from your
landline if you want, but...
The landline's
in the hall. I'll show you.
Um, Please may I
finish my soup first?
Yeah. Go on, son,
finish your soup.
Ah, that's cold.
It's just
ringing and ringing.
They never
answer the phone.
Dad'll be writing lists,
and Mum'll be washing
pots in the bath.
How long are you gonna
live in the girls' room?
Well...
I have to go to these meetings.
And not drink.
I did drink.
A lot.
I'd wake up in
the morning panicking.
But I didn't do
anything about it.
Sometimes I'd drink
in the afternoons.
And I shouted at people.
A lot of people.
Including the girls.
Once you've...
crossed some lines...
Best we don't
talk about this now.
But why?
Why did you do that,
do you think?
It wasn't just
sometimes in the afternoons.
Yeah, but not like,
in the mornings.
It was in
front of the girls.
Yeah, but not,
like, all the time.
It was enough.
Yeah.
Enough.
Don't drink, and
you'll get them back.
I don't think
I'll ever get them back.
I'll get them more.
And prove to Joseph that
I can be a normal mum.
No-one has a normal mum.
They just look like they do.
My mum was normal.
Wasn't she, Dad?
Yeah.
Anyway...
Joseph and Bethan
are better for them right now.
Oh-
Don't you have friends?
People lose patience
when you keep fucking up.
Don't swear.
I've said
"fuck" before, Alan.
I'm very sorry that
all this has happened to you,
that your girls were taken away.
I gave up on them, really.
Well, it sounds like
you did that for them.
I'll leave you
both to it, then.
Thank you for the soup.
I think we should've
took him home.
He wouldn't have let us.
You know, that's-
the most I've heard you
speak in a long time.
Yeah.
Ella...
What's to say, Dad?
I think..
you should go to
meetings every day
- and put the work in.
- Please stop.
Dad, you haven't drunk
in twenty years,
and you never went to meetings
and you never did the work.
You thought the girls
were better off without me.
I never said that.
I never thought that.
Well, here we are.
We've never been people
who talk about things.
Let's not start now,
and please don't push me
to go to meetings. I don't
even want to get out of bed.
- I've noticed.
- Get stuffed!
Ella.
I've been going back
to meetings again.
I know I'm a hypocrite.
And you're right. You're right.
We've never talked.
Good for you.
I hate the meetings, Dad.
I feel like an imposter and
I'm terrified when I speak.
I don't wanna write
lists and drink shit tea.
Everyone feels like that.
No, they're all
high-fiving each other!
No, that's what you want
to see to stop yourself going.
Ah! Funny!...Nope!!
Everyone feels
self-conscious speaking,
and the tea's not shit.
Well, I'm glad
you've come to your senses.
I wanna go to bed now.
Your children
are alive and healthy.
Yeah?
But they need you.
I'm fucking grieving!
Okay?
I know they're alive
but I'm grieving for them,
for the life I threw away!
- Ella, listen to me.
- Stop talking!
Ella, come here.
Look at where
I'm living, Dad!
I know.
Please just
let me go to sleep.
- Come here.
- Please, stop!
Please let - please
don't touch me!
Ella?
It's three hours.
You change in York.
Then it's a 10 minute walk
to the beach.
I don't know-
-do 13 year-olds get trains
on their own?
It's my birthday.
You can come with me.
You know I can't.
I know you know I can't.
Ella.
I am not giving you
my blessing to do this.
What about your parents?
They won't care.
But you'll
ask them, though?
Sure.
Cause
anything could happen.
Probably it won't.
Well, I'll come to
your house and tell them.
No need,
if you come with me.
I'm not coming
with you, Neil.
Would you like to hear
some Scarborough facts,
- interesting and unusual?
- I suppose.
The castle is managed and
maintained by English Heritage.
This natural fortress was used
by prehistoric settlers.
Romans -
- Hello, Alan.
- Hello, Neil.
During the Civil War,
the castle was under siege
for 12 months.
The castle will be
my first stop,
and then Flamingo Bay
for a knickerbocker glory.
Ella, can I have a word?
You can read the rest.
Do you know anything
about Scarborough, Alan?
There's a theatre. Ella?
Why's he here?
He's a young boy.
You can't be friends
with a young boy.
Ella?!
What?
I'm here. I'm your dad.
I'm here to support you.
- Me.
- Right?
You need to stop
feeling sorry for yourself.
No, I do feel
sorry for myself.
I do. I don't care
how that seems.
He obviously
doesn't have anyone.
What do you
want me to say to him -
"Can you go away,
now that you trust me?"
Yes, he trusts you,
and that ain't right.
- You're not his mum.
- I know.
Why are you
always so angry at me?
You know, Mum would've
welcomed me here.
She wouldn't have
lectured me all the time.
Don't use her.
Don't you dare.
Bethan's here.
- Oh!
- Oh good.
Alright, come on Neil.
You want tea?
Oh, no, no, thank you.
I-I can't drink
caffeine after midday.
Who-who was that boy?
Is that the boy from the park?
I'm going to a
meeting in a minute, Bethan.
Yes, sorry,
that's great, Ella.
I...
Sorry, do you mind if I just...
Um, God, I don't know how
I'm going to say all of this.
I got it in my head
properly and everything.
Just say it.
Okay. Ehm-
I think you need to
think about the girls,
and how they are with Joe.
And you think the
girls should stay with Joe.
No, no,
I didn't say that.
Please don't assume-
Well, you're
here without him, so...
Go on.
I know the girls are
coming here for half-term,
for a bit, and I just...
Well, I just wanted you to know
they're doing really well.
They're sleeping again, and
doing so good in school,
and yeah, just,
they're just doing really well.
And you don't want
me to mess it all up again.
No.
I don't.
I know you think I'm
the bad one in all this.
- That's so funny.
- Is it?
I don't think that.
I know who the bad one is.
You know,
I think in another world
we'd probably be friends.
Do you?
No?
No.
You want my kids.
I don't, actually.
I don't want them.
I never wanted kids.
I'm sorry, I-
I love them, though.
Yep.
You couldn't do it.
I thought they were better
with you until I got better.
Oh, sorry.
You off, then, Bethan?
Yeah, uh, who are you?
Oh, he's family.
He's, uh... he's helping me
- around the house a bit.
- Oh. Oh.
- I'll see you out.
- Oh.
Sorry.
- See you later.
- Yeah, see you. Bye bye.
Bye.
You ok?
Yeah.
I can help around
the house if you'd like.
Look, I don't want you
to walk me.
No, I wanna come to your
home, talk to your parents.
They're not in.
Well, where are they?
They're at my
aunty's drinking weak tea.
- They go there every Sunday.
- It's Saturday.
They go there
every Saturday, then.
Saturday, Sunday..
What's the difference?
Well where's your brother?
At his fancy girlfriend's.
What's your
brother's name?
Jeff.
That isn't the
name of a teenage boy.
- Isn't it?
- No.
Well, it's Jeffrey.
That also isn't
a teenage boy's name.
- Isn't it?
- No.
What are your parents called?
- Dorothy and Christopher.
- Are you sure?
Well, that's what they've
been saying their names are.
- What's the deal?
- What's the deal, Neil?
I don't think you should
come to see Ella any more.
I know.
Ella, she done
lots of bad things.
A lot of people
can't forgive her.
I can.
What do you think
is going to happen here?
You can't be best friends.
She's not your mother,
you've got your own mother.
She can't even be a
mother to her own children.
That is an extremely
unkind thing to say.
No, I...
That's not what I meant.
I know Ella feels like she's a
mother when she's around you,
but do you think Joseph
and Bethan think
that your friendship
is appropriate?
Do you think that they
think that she's sane enough
to be around her own children
when she's knocking about
with a strange boy in the park?
I don't mean strange, I mean...
stranger strange.
Stranger strange.
Well, you're bright
enough to understand
- what I'm talking about.
- Bright as a button!
Yes.
You sound a bit
blackmaily to me.
No. Not at all.
Well, what about
what Bethan just said?
I think...
Bethan rushed to the school
when Ella didn't turn up.
She's been there every day.
You see there's more
than one side to a story.
Yeah.
And I'm on Ella's side.
No-one else is.
And there's a reason why
Ella did those things.
I mean, you're her dad.
You know that.
That's what no-one seems
to give a shit about, Alan.
That's my side of the story.
So sorry.
Bethan/Waiter:
So it's pasta and pesto?
- Neil, is it?
- Yup.
What are you doing?
I live up there.
Okay.
Were you watching us?
Yeah.
Oh.. uh..
Fussy, isn't she?
She's done that
food intolerance test.
She's allergic to everything.
Nightmare.
She's probably got orthorexia.
What's that?
It's this thing
where people obsess
about eating healthily.
We're all addicted to
something these days, aren't we?
How d'you know El?
She's my friend.
Oh, yeah, you're
laughing 'cause I'm a kid.
Oh, well,
no, I just uh...
I thought I knew all
of Ella's friends.
She hasn't got
any friends any more.
You're doing that goldfish
mouth-thing again.
Yes, yes,
I'm aware of that.
I kept seeing
Ella in the park.
I thought she was
one of the mums at first.
She would always watch
the kids until everyone left.
I followed her home one time
to make sure she was ok.
She cried the whole way back.
I could tell she needed
someone to talk to.
You should probably go back in.
Huh?
Oh, yeah.
Where are the girls?
They're with
Bethan's sister.
Oh, nice.
That's nice for Bethan's sister.
Can I have
one of those, mate?
No.
Go on, then.
They're menthol.
Thank you. Minty fresh.
Hey, wait!
Did you know we were
gonna be here?
What?!
What?!
Ells?
Ella?
Ugh!
Oh!
- Oh.
- Alan, hi.
Um- is Ella here?
No.
Oh. I'd...
I'd really like to talk to her.
Why?
Um...
She's not here, Bethan.
I- well, I... I'd just
like to say sorry for last time.
No, there's no need.
I just keep playing
things over in my mind.
Yeah, me too.
It's all
such a mess, isn't it?
Yeah.
- Bethan.
- Yeah?
Thank you.
For what you do for those kids.
Alright.
Dad?
Dad?!
Bethan came round tonight.
So?
Well, I think
she wanted to...
Unbelievable.
You're not the only one
who lost them, you know.
No, I'm not doing this.
No, listen to me, listen.
Dad, I was-
Alan: Will you fucking listen!
Dad!
I miss them too.
They mean everything to me.
I know.
I took everything
away from all of us.
You're a baby,
you're
such a fucking baby,
Ella.
And you're always...
you're always so cold.
I can't do this, Ella.
I can't cope with this, Ella.
I've lost your mum,
I've lost the girls,
and now I'm losing you.
And we live in
an house, and there...
there's no care for
one another, there...
there's no care, you know?
And I just... I wanna
get ya and shake ya.
I-I- I wanna fucking shake ya,
and show you what
you need to do.
You know, do you
remember what you did?
Yes.
Do you remember
what you did?
Yes.
They're scared of you, Ella.
Scared. And they
don't need to be scared.
You know, you need to
show them that they don't
need to be scared, you know.
Fight for them! Get out there
and fight for your kids!
You know, because one day
your life will be over
and you can't go back
and make it better.
And... and I know...
I know I- I haven't been the
greatest dad in the world,
but you know what?
At least, at least I tried.
Is that what you think?
Tell you what,
don't do it for me, then.
And don't you do
it for yourself.
You do it for them kids.
And hopefully they won't
fucking end up like you.
I'm so glad
you're coming, Ella.
Mummy!
- Mummy!
- Come, mummy!
Mummy,
it's time to wake up.
We're really
angry with you now.
Mummy,
it's time to wake up!
Sorry we couldn't
get in the castle.
I don't care.
I just wanted to see it.
We came all this way.
I really don't care.
So incredible.
Look at these views!
I wanna go there!
We just got here.
It's a massive,
glimmering arcade, Ella!
Thought you
hated computer games.
I do, but the two pence
thingy and the grabby thing...
Yeah?
You've got to
see this properly.
Ah, wow. See that?
Thanks for coming, Ella.
I'm sorry you're so sad.
I'm always
bloody sad, aren't I?
Sadder sad.
- Happy birthday, Neil.
- Thank you.
Do you think we'll have time
to go and see York Minister,
when we're done?
Minster. I don't think so.
Should've
got a later train.
When I get arrested
for kidnapping at least
they'll take into account that
I got you home at a decent hour.
I love that people might
be thinking you're my mum.
You should adopt me.
You should!
You can adopt kids
until they're 18.
You do realise the
irony in that, don't you?
And you have a mum.
We can't keep
meeting up forever, Neil.
I've told my
parents we're friends.
They're not bothered.
Well what did they say?
Dad wasn't listening,
and Mum said something like
- "That's nice, dear."
- Don't believe you.
That's how it happened.
You can meet them
when we go back.
We'll have cake in our garden.
And then I'll tell
them I'm adopting you.
Is it how you imagined?
Different up
North, isn't it?
Yes.
I don't think
that's a bad thing.
It's not.
It's a bit more
worn-out than I'd imagined.
I know how it feels.
Beautiful, though.
You see the
good in everything.
I get my girls tomorrow.
Yeah!
Yeah. But...
Never mind.
Are you ready for your
knickerbocker glory?
Well come on!
Oi! Give me that!
I loved smoking.
Where were you?
Why do you have
Orville the duck?
I got him with my tickets.
What's the matter with you?
Nothing's the matter.
Did you love the Flamingo Bay?
I did.
It's very bright.
I love flamingos.
I'm tired.
You're crashing
from your ice cream.
Curl up and have a snooze?
Ella.
- Made me jump!
- Ella.
Thought you were asleep.
Ella.
Yes?
What's in your backpack?
What?
What's in your backpack?
I don't understand.
Yes, you do.
My stuff.
No.
Yes. I-I don't
know what you mean.
You do.
Please tell me.
My purse, my
phone, and all that.
- No.
- Neil.
What else?
Actually, a lot of
shit I need to clear out.
Can I look?
No!
No, don't be silly.
Hey, do you wanna go on
Space Invader Frenzy,
one more time? Before we leave?
We could go get
that fridge magnet.
How did you know?
I don't know
how I know things.
- I just do.
- It's OK.
I don't think it is.
No, I wasn't
gonna drink it.
You get your
girls tomorrow!
But.. Fuck it, let's drink it!
No!
What? It's my birthday!
I'm 14!
Bet you drank at 14.
Go on.
Go on.
No!
No?
No!
Come on!
Did you see them?
Did you see my girls?
No.
No! No, no!
They were here!
I didn't see them.
But that's not right!
How could they be here?
Why did you walk into the sea?
Don't! No!
Did you call for them
or something?
That doesn't
make any sense.
You're frozen.
- You're frozen too.
- I'm not.
I wasn't trying
to hurt myself.
You walked into the sea,
in October, in Scarborough.
We need to get
you some clothes.
My backpack's gone.
Huh.
They didn't take my shoes.
Come on.
Thanks.
My purse was in my bag.
Oh.
Two teas, please.
And, um, do you have any towels?
What for?
We're quite wet.
Right.
Thank you.
She thinks we're mad.
She just thinks
we're from London.
Thank you.
I love strong tea.
My Yorkshire roots, probably.
I'm sorry about this.
On your birthday.
I certainly
won't forget it.
You're just going to have
to tie yourself to the mast.
Really big things happen and
life just goes on, doesn't it?
One more tea, please.
I have enough, haven't I?
Yeah.
Very reasonable.
I love your costume.
It's a uniform.
Well, it's lovely.
Hold on
a minute, love.
Tell your mum to come through.
Mum?
The lady wants
you to go through.
You look nice.
Thanks.
No, really...
Thank you.
No bother.
Who's the other tea for?
Dad!
What the fuck are
you doing in Scarborough?
Don't swear.
I went on the beach first.
We just came from there.
Hello.
Hello, Neil.
What are you wearing?
Will you two be alright?
Where are you going?
I've got 80p,
I want to go see
if I can get that fridge magnet.
You'll be so cold!
Come on.
Thanks, Alan.
Happy birthday, Neil.
You're coming
back, aren't you?
There's a tea there, Alan.
Sit down, Dad.
Well.
You came.
Of course.