A Cinderella Story: Starstruck (2021) Movie Script

1
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
FINLEY: 'Why?'
'It wasn't over for me!'
'I waited for you
for seven years...'
'...and now it's too late.'
[FINLEY IMITATING A BOY]
'I wrote you 365 letters.'
I wrote you every
single day for a year.
You...
...you wrote me?
[IMITATING A BOY] Yes!
I wrote you every single day.
[IMITATING A GIRL] You...
[IMITATING A BOY] It
wasn't over for me.
It still isn't over.
[PIG GRUNTS]
Yes! Jon Ham, you are so right!
It is the rain scene
from "The Notebook."
[SQUEALS]
[SNORTS]
Aw, well, thank you.
I am a pretty good actress
but you all
are an excellent audience.
[NEIGHS]
You guys are so sweet.
You're right, it would be
amazing to get to perform
in front of a bigger audience
but... I just don't think
that's in the cards for
me yet, boys and girls.
[GRUNTS]
[LAUGHS] Stop it.
You're going to make me blush.
You know, it would be amazing
to be a real actress
like in Hollywood, but...
[SIGHS]
...I just gotta make
it there somehow.
Been in a daydream
all my life
This place is like a cage
I'm feeling stuck
and don't know why
They tell me where's
your common sense?
Girl you got a big blue sky
And a picket fence
But I need something more
To step outside
A country home
To find my way
And now's the time
I know that I
have the courage
To spread my wings and fly
Somehow
Some way
I feel inside
My day is waiting for me
I'm gonna write my own story
My own story
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
One day they'll
shower me with praise
I'll have a real hard time
To keep the
handsome guys away
Followed by my adoring fans
I got the whole wide world
in the palm of my hands
And I'll be someone great
They'll know my name
And I'll have
found my purpose
[BLEATING]
Sometimes it seems
Against the odds
My dreams are waiting for me
I'm gonna write my own story
My own story
VALERIAN: 'Finley!'
'Finley!'
[VALERIAN SCREAMING] Finley!
What is she doing?
She's pretending to
be a Disney princess.
- I mean, that is so sad.
- Yeah.
Oh, but I love that one
move with the arms.
I'm hungry!
Make me some food.
[GATE SQUEAKING]
- Kale, you're in my shot.
- Whatever.
SAFFRON: What did I tell you
about getting in my shot?
FINLEY: 'Sorry.'
[DOOR SLAMS]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[SIGHS]
You mad
You mad huh?
You mad you mad huh?
KALE: Okay.
Oh you mad?
Yeah you mad huh?
Okay, it's ready.
[GASPS] Oh, my God!
Don't try it
- You just ruined my TikTok!
- Wow.
Oh, I... I'm so sorry, Saffron,
I didn't, I didn't know, I...
[SAFFRON FUMING]
- It was really good.
- Oh, really good.
- It was really good. - Kale.
Here you go.
Oh.
What is this? Pork?
No, it's salmon.
Is there pork in it?
No. No, there's no
pork in salmon.
It's fish.
You-you said that
you wanted fish.
KALE: I-I said I wanted fish fingers.
Fish fingers.
These are not fish fingers.
Oh, my God, Kale! Quit
saying "Fish fingers."
Fish fingers.
[FOOTSTEPS FADING AWAY]
Wait. What?
- What? - What?
- What? - No way!
I mean, there's no freaking...
What?
Oh, my God, stop. What?
- Guess what's coming to town?
- What?
- Guess who is coming to town?
- Who?
I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do
it, I'm going to punch you
in the neck if you don't
spit it out, Saffron.
"The Hollywood film, "Billy the Kid
- The Musical"
has arrived in Dreary, Idaho."
[GASPING] That's where we live.
Okay.
"Cameras begin rolling tomorrow
as does a town-wide audition."
This is all about revenue.
Do you know how much money this
could bring in to this little--
Shut up, Kale!
Nobody cares about revenue.
You shut up, Saffron!
It's all about revenue.
Can you let her finish?
- Rude. - Thank you, Finley.
You're welcome.
- Okay. Yeah, okay. - Go on.
Blah, blah "Production value."
Okay, here, "The cast is led
by up-and-coming dreamy
actor Jackson Stone."
Jackson Stone.
"As you know, Jackson
was discovered
on a ranch in a town
not unlike Dreary."
Okay, like, they're talking about farms.
Nobody cares.
[MUMBLES]
"The auditions will be held
at noon tomorrow at the Mill.
Come prepared to sing, dance..."
Obviously and... Wow!
[GASPS]
- Mom... - Oh!
- Saffron...
- I'm going to that audition.
- Oh, yes, you are. - Oh, I am!
- I think I'm going to go, too.
- Oh, you're not an actor.
Well, that's fine.
Neither are you.
I'm obviously not going
to audition, Saffron.
I am gonna to be Jackson
Stone's manager.
[SCOFFS] You're not a manager.
Oh, really?
Then how would you explain
Wanda's Waffle and Sushi House
blowing it up on the 'Gram?
- That was all me.
- They have, like, 37 followers.
Oh, that's 35 more than you do.
[GASPS]
Um...
Can I go, too?
Huh?
I want to audition.
Mom.
Oh, no. No.
You-you can't go
to the audition.
You have far too many things
to do here around the house.
Please, can't they help out too?
I...
[CHUCKLES]
Is it their fault
that your father
had to own a farm
with horses and pigs
that need to be milked--
No, no, mom, uh, pigs
don't need to be milked.
Okay, I will wake up
really early tomorrow
and I will do my chores and if
they are not finished in time
I won't go, I promise.
Fine... fine.
- Really?
- I'll leave you a list.
- Okay, thank you. - Okay.
Oh, and you will
also need to take
that annoying little
pig to the butcher.
Mm-hmm, yes, pork chops.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[SIGHING]
[ROCK MUSIC]
[SHUTTERS CLICKING]
Ba-boom! And see with that spin,
if we can get that spin...
With the, with the tassels
coming up, that's really nice.
'Hit me now. Hit me.'
'Yes! That's it! That's it.'
'The studio is gonna love that.'
This is looking like money. This
is looking like money all day.
[SHUTTERS CLICKING]
Mm!
Oh, Valerian! I... thought that
everyone was already asleep.
We were. What are
you doing in here?
I just, um...
You see, it's
really cold tonight
so I thought that maybe I could
sleep on the couch, you know
if that's okay.
No, Finley, that's not okay.
This isn't a flop house.
You have the largest
bedroom of us all.
It's not really a bedroom.
VALERIAN: 'Is that
not enough for you?'
You have to kick us out
of our living room, too?
It's just... really cold
tonight, that's all.
Oh...
Well, take a blanket.
[BARN DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
Surprise, surprise.
Guess who said no.
Here, it's for you tonight.
You've got to be cold, too.
I know.
I know you told me she'd
say no, I just...
...thought maybe...
Okay.
[SHIVERS]
Man!
Okay...
Cold.
[GRUNTING]
Goodnight, boys.
Goodnight, Jon Ham.
[JON HAM GRUNTS]
Goodnight, Dad.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[CROWS]
Oh, God.
[SIGHS]
Tsk. Perfect.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
[SCRUBBING]
Hey
[GAGS]
[COUGHS]
Take your hand now
keep up keep up
What? Be nice!
Take your hand now
keep up keep up
We gotta kick it with me
Take your hand now
keep up keep up
Gotta make some noise
Take your hand now
keep up keep up
We gotta kick it with me
Well done.
Come here. Who was such
a good helper today?
[GASPS] You were!
VALERIAN: 'Finley!'
[PHONE CHIMES]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
- Mom? - Yeah?
Why are you all dressed up?
You're not auditioning.
Oh, well, I was thinking
I might, you know?
I mean, I was kind of a
big deal back in my day.
Your day was, like, in the '60s
before they had cars or iPhones.
I was the "It Girl" of 1987.
I was on the cover of
"Glamour Magazine."
No, you weren't.
Back cover.
- Nope. - Fine.
I was in a print ad in one
of those big magazines.
Oh, the hemorrhoid cream ad?
You wish you had a hemorrhoid
cream ad, Saffron.
At least mom had a job,
unlike someone I know.
Who, you?
- 'Shut up, Saffron.' -
'No, you shut up, Kale.'
Okay, breakfast is ready.
- Here. - Oh, smells crispy.
And, um, I finished
up all of my chores
so, I'm going to the audition.
- Mom? - Yeah.
Um, you still need to take
that pig to the butcher.
Right, you know, I
don't really think
that we should put him down,
so why don't we just--
KALE: 'Oh, you don't think so?'
You think we should just
keep hemorrhaging money
for your mangy
little animals, hmm?
- They are her only friends.
- It's tragic.
Like, who's she talking to?
The pig?
We're gonna sell this dump.
- Yes! Thank you! - Oh, my God.
Yes! We are gonna sell this dump
and get the hell out of here.
- Yes! - No, you're not.
- Hey, can we just--
- Oh, yes, I am. I am.
I could sell this house.
Kale, how much can I
sell this house for?
Well, obviously, I'd
need like a comparative
market analysis but probably--
You're not selling my house!
- Excuse me? - Mom?
Look...
Guys, I was...
...I was born in this house.
Ew!
Okay, every good memory
that I have is in this house.
This is my home, so...
Oh, honey. No, no, no, no, no.
It was your home
but when your father
died, it became my home.
My dad...
...built this home with his own hands...
board by board.
Yes, and when we sell it,
they will tear it apart...
...board by board.
Bored.
[PLATES CLINKING]
VALERIAN: 'I-I don't know.'
We don't know. We don't do that.
No, no, no. That's...
Oh, are you and your
boyfriend going on a date?
[EXHALES]
I'm taking the pig to market.
- Oh, good. - Yes.
And she'll cry "Wee, wee, wee"
all the way home.
That is so mean.
Thank you, Saffron.
- I think it's funny.
- Okay, bored with that.
- Back to me!
- Okay, show me again.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[PIG GRUNTING]
Oh, don't listen
to them, Jon Ham.
I would never let them
do anything to hurt you.
I'm just going to take you
to go see Jerry the Vet.
What?
No. He's not gonna give
you a shot, I promise.
He's just gonna watch you
for a couple of days
until Valerian forgets about you
and then I can sneak you
back into the barn.
Okay?
- Oh, hi, Finley!
- Oh, hi, Louise!
- Hi, Jon Ham. - Say hi.
Have you sold any houses lately?
Not if I can help it.
I like this town
just the way it is.
Yeah. Us too.
- We'll catch you later.
- Okay, bye now.
Bye, Louise.
Come on.
Here we go!
Come on! It's like a playdate.
You like Jerry.
You do!
Oh!
Dang it, Jerry.
[PIG GRUNTING]
Yee-haw!
[COUNTRY MUSIC]
[CHEERING]
[YOWLING]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[CHEERING]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[CHEERING]
TREVOR: Yes! Perfect.
Cut. Thank you.
BERNIE: Okay, that's a cut.
Dancers, take ten.
TREVOR: 'That was good, Peter.
Thank you.'
That one was better
than the last one.
Sophia, can we keep that last
leg they're moving like that?
That was awesome.
Thank you, Peter.
[CHUCKLING]
Okay...
Jon Ham, I need you
to pay attention.
I need you to be a
very good boy, okay?
TREVOR: 'Like, a beat
sooner on that next one.'
- Can you do that?
- 'Well, thank you.'
This is my chance.
MALE #1: 'Alright, guys, let's
get it cleared out over here.'
[GRUNTS]
Okay, who's next?
Anyone wanna...
...audition today?
- I'll go. - Great. Okay.
Hop on up on the stage.
Okay? Trevor!
'Trevor!'
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
MALE #2: 'She's over in the trailer.
Do you need her?'
Okay, Trevor, we
are ready for you.
Oh, hey, oh, I gotta go.
Okay. Talk soon.
Buh-bye.
- Uh, fun. - Mm-hmm.
TREVOR: 'So, uh,
who's next here?'
'Okay, first up.'
Uh, okay, sweetheart
'let's see what you got.'
- Sorry. - 'That's alright.'
'Take your time. Any
time you're ready.'
- 'Quiet down.' - 'Who's this?
Okay, good.'
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[FIDDLE MUSIC]
Well I'm a walking menace
Got fire in my veins and
if you see me coming
Boy you best step out my way
I'm a well known rambler
Yes I do as I please
She's got a great voice.
Yeah. Not a very
sexy song, though.
You will watch me soaring
with the wind behind my sails
I'm a force of nature
Look upon me and despair
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Well there must be
somethin' in the water
'Cause I can't be stopped
Better get up out of my way
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
No I can't be stopped
Go on get up out of my way
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
MALE #3: 'Alright!'
[CROWD CHEERING]
She's good, like...
She's great!
She could play Wyatt.
Yeah. That's a guy's role.
I need saloon girls, right?
What is, what's all that?
Well... why can't a
girl play the role?
'There were great female
gunslingers back in the day.'
Annie Oakley, Calamity
Jane, Mary Fields...
Yeah, I'm just not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
And I don't know who they are,
so I can't really reference it
but this is what I'm thinking.
I'm not using any of this, but
I love that you're trying.
[CROWD CHEERING]
[SQUEALS]
No! Stay, Jon Ham.
[SQUEALS]
Stay! Come on! Come on!
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[SQUEALS]
- No! Jon Ham! - Whoa!
No!
- Hey! Hey! - Hey!
[PIG SQUEALING]
Is that a pig?
Jon Ham!
[SCREAMS]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
Jon Ham! Jon Ham! I'm so sorry.
Jon Ham! Right now!
Come here, right now!
Is that... Finley?
Oh, sorry! Excuse me.
Jon Ham! Jon Ham!
[PIG SQUEALING]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
Ooh!
Oh!
This is so embarrassing for her.
It's the best.
[SIGHS]
[PIG GRUNTS]
Jon Ham.
[GIGGLING]
JACKSON: 'Some pretty
impressive wrangling there.'
Yeah. Not too bad yourself.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Jackson Stone?
Yeah.
Let's, uh, let's get
you out of this mud.
There you go.
Sorry.
Say...
Where'd you learn
to rope like that?
[SIGHING] I... I'm
usually better.
Somebody get Jackson
out of there, please.
Yeah.
- Jackson? - Yeah?
- We gotta get you out.
- Excuse me.
- I'm so sorry. - 'Two seconds.'
I didn't mean to.
- Yeah. - Is that your pig?
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- Yes. Yes, sir. He is.
- Okay, great.
Get off my set and take
your pig with you.
And I don't want to see your
face again, you understand?
- I understand. I'm-- - Okay, good.
Get going.
VALERIAN: Yeah! Go
home, Pig Girl!
Get out of here, Pig Girl!
[DEEP TONE] Yeah,
get out, Pig Girl!
- What was that? That was good.
- I don't know what that was.
Hey, it's okay.
- That is so annoying.
- Come on.
She always ruins
everything for me.
DEREK: We'd better get going,
move on to the next set-up.
I hear you, Derek, all good.
- Jackson! - Kenny.
You okay? That was, I mean,
that was crazy, right?
You bet. Real wild.
- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah.
So, um, you, uh, you wanna
do you wanna practice
some of the stunts?
I'll tell you what,
Kenny, uh, not right now.
I gotta get back, alright?
Okay, cool, I just...
Say, you know who that
girl was back there?
I don't know, just some local.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[PIG GRUNTING]
[INDISTINCT LAUGHTER]
Pork chop, pork loin,
spare ribs, bacon.
Is everybody happy?
Oh, don't take that tone
with me, little Pig Girl.
If you had just
done what I asked
you wouldn't have
been humiliated.
Yeah, now I have to prepare all
over again for my audition.
Did you get any ham?
[SIGHS]
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- Great day. - Good day.
Well, I mean, you were good.
We have to find our
legs on our end
but this is how this stuff goes.
You know, it takes
the first week.
Jackson, hi. Wardrobe would
like you to try these on.
Uh, sure, but did they
have this color back then?
- I don't know.
- You don't like this?
- I don't think it plays.
- Yeah, I'm with you.
Thank you. Appreciate that.
Great work today.
- Sorry, man. - Um...
Quickly, I can have him
fired if he's annoying you.
- No! No, no. I don't wanna--
- Are you sure?
- Excuse me, excuse me, Trevor.
- Yeah?
For the flashback, which one?
- Neither. - Both.
- Um, so, tomorrow's a big day.
- Yeah.
And I'm thinking for
that scene, um--
Okay, hold on a second, Trevor.
I've got to ask you something.
- Alright. - Tell me.
Talk to me. I'm here.
That girl today
from the audition.
- The wild, muddy mess.
- Pig Girl?
Don't... please don't
call her that.
No, no, no! I don't call her that.
That's what they call her.
They call her "Pig Girl." I
would never call her that.
Look, listen, um...
Do you think we can
find out who she is?
- You think we should sue her?
- No.
No, I, look, I-I-I just can't
get her out of my head.
Why? You spent, like,
20 seconds with her.
Okay, and it was the first
real 20 seconds I've had
since I started this business.
Aw, come on, man.
You little sucker, come on.
Okay, Trev, look, I-I-I don't
mean it like that. Alright?
What I mean i-is this...
...all of this nonsense
alright, it does, it
doesn't speak to me.
That beautiful girl back there
with the pig, she spoke to me.
Okay, Jackson.
Listen, you want to go
frolic in a pigsty...
...I want that for you.
I think it's important, okay?
But right now we gotta focus.
It's a lot of pressure.
This is a big movie and
we're going to do this
because we're a team, right?
We're going to finish this movie
and then you and I are gonna
dive into my next movie.
And then, you are going
to be an A-list star
and you can pick any
chick you want.
- Mm. - Right? You understand?
[IMITATES GUNSHOTS]
Tomorrow's a big day.
Let's get some rest. Boom!
- You're the man.
- You got it, Trev.
'You are the man.'
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
FINLEY: 'Today was a
really bad day, dad.'
They all called me "Pig Girl."
Yeah.
This was my only chance.
[SIGHS]
It's never gonna happen, is it?
[PIG GRUNTS]
And you!
[CHUCKLES] You owe me
big-time, Jon Ham.
You do.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
You're lucky they didn't
ban us from auditioning
after your little stunt. Ow!
You have any idea what a day
like that can cost production?
100k, easy.
Okay, well, they don't even
know that we're related, Kale.
Okay, let's keep it that way.
- Stop! - Hold still.
If anyone finds out
you're Pig Girl
you'll ruin it for all of us.
Wow.
Is that what you're wearing?
I don't take fashion advice
from people who are
covered in pig poop.
- Burn. - You like that?
Okay, don't wait up for us.
I'm sure we'll be invited
to the after-party.
Oh, there's no after-party.
There's always an after-party.
SAFFRON: That's after
you finish the job.
- 'Then, there's a pre-party.'
- 'There-there's no party.'
[SIGHS]
[COUNTRY MUSIC]
[COUNTRY MUSIC]
I don't know what to say.
There's something about
it that I just--
- I'll be back.
- This is pretty cool.
No, maybe you're right,
maybe it's awful.
Yeah.
Great job, Terry and Tina.
Loved that. Oh, and loved those
little congas and the washboard.
We're gonna get to you
guys very soon, okay?
- I'm their manager.
- Oh, good to know.
Yay! Yay!
[SNORTING]
It is. I know, it is.
It is totally unfair.
It is the one thing
that I've ever wanted
in my entire life and it
is never going to happen.
[BLEATS]
How? How am I supposed to...
[PIG GRUNTING]
Exactly. Thank you, Jon Ham.
He gets it, you guys.
I mean, the director
literally said to me
that he never wants
to see my face again.
So...
[ENGINE CRANKING]
I don't know what you guys
want me to do about that.
[SIGHS]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Well, giddyup.
Okay, next group, please.
You have the track? Okay!
Oh, it's, great, okay, action.
- Who's this? - The sisters?
- Sisters? - Hello.
- 'Hello.' - Hi.
TREVOR: 'Hi, how are you?'
- Hi. - Hi.
TREVOR: 'Any-any
time you're ready.'
Dolls, let's-let's
see-see what you got.
[BOTH INHALING]
Hoo-wee!
It sure is a hot one today.
Hoo-wee! It sure is
a hot one today!
- That's what I just said.
- I know.
- But I can't remember my lines.
- Soffy...
'What do I say? I
forgot my lines.'
Uh, you know what, ladies, just
you can just cut
right to the song.
- Okay! - 'No pressure.'
Okay!
I can... Okay.
We got this, yes.
Nine, ten, eleven, twelve.
We're sisters we're sisters
We're gorgeous
And great kissers
So lucky to be sisters
With you With me?
With you
We're sisters we're sisters
We're kind and never bitter
So lucky to be sisters
With you With me?
With you
- Sorry. - It's okay.
Okay, and cut!
Thank you so much. Very good, very good.
Thank you.
Okay!
- Hire the girl. - What?
But she can't sing
or dance or act.
No, she doesn't need to.
- Thanks!
- Uh, okay. Uh, anyone else?
[FINLEY IMITATING A MAN] 'Uh, you,
uh, you got room for one more?'
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Howdy, ladies.
TREVOR: Why don't
you hop up on stage
and-and show us what
you got, partner?
Yes, sir, yes, sir.
[CLEARS THROAT] Excuse-excuse me, ladies.
Sorry about that.
He's cute, right?
Any time you're ready.
Clouds as mean as
you've ever seen.
Yeah.
Ain't a bird that
knows your tune.
Then there's a little
voice inside you
that keeps on saying...
"Kid...
don't sell your dreams so soon."
That's the theme song
from the Fuller House?
Sshhh! Shush!
FINLEY: 'Everywhere you look...'
everywhere that you go...
there's a heart...
...there is a heart...
...a hand to hold onto.
'Everywhere you look...'
everywhere you go,
there is a face...
...of somebody who needs you.
Everywhere you look.
[SNIFFLES]
Yeah.
What? Sorry.
That, that's it. That, that's
all I got for the monologue.
[FINLEY CLEARS THROAT]
[APPLAUDING]
[CHUCKLES]
- So... - That's "Fuller House."
That was, ah, that was
surprisingly good.
Real nice work, man.
That was my favorite
show growing up.
What's your name, kid?
Huh. Fin... Fin...
[COUGHS]
Uh, last name, Finn.
First name, uh...
[CLEARS THROAT] ...Huckleberry?
Yeah.
You know, my-my parents were
real Mark Twain fans, you know?
So...
- Oh... - Alright.
You know. Yeah, yeah.
But, um...
...you all can call me "Huck."
- Okay. - Huck.
So, the following
people have been chosen
Caletta Rose...
[SCREAMING]
Great. Great, great, great.
And, uh, Saffron Tremaine...
[SCREAMING]
And Huck Finn. Great.
Oops, sorry, folks. Hold
tight, just a second.
Yes?
What?
How?
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
- I can't wait... - Ahh! A-ahem!
To work you.
You mean, work with me.
Whatever.
We lost the farm house.
What do you mean we
lost the farm house?
- Where did it go?
- It collapsed.
I just saw it yesterday, Bernie.
Well, it's gone today.
We shoot the farm
house in two days!
How are we going to
find another location?
We're going to figure
something out.
Ah-ah-ah! If-if I may? Hi.
Um, just happened to overhear.
She's a patron of the arts.
Yes, yes and I want
to proposition you.
- She has a proposition for you.
- Yes.
I just happen to be the owner of
a historical country farm house.
True.
And we have a barn, and a
chicken coop, chickens, goats
filing cabinets,
hay, lots of hay...
Big property. It's
a big property.
The kind that you would need
for a production of this size.
Brass tacks, boys.
How much is it going to cost me
to have you shoot your
movie at my place?
No, no, she's kidding,
she's kidding.
They pay us, not the
other way around.
Why don't we just say
that you give us, uh...
I don't know, 125 percent of
what you were going to pay
the house that you lost, throw in some...
catered lunches
hot, then you have
yourself a deal.
Sure.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Guys!
They're here.
Saffron?
Kale?
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
- Morning.
- Oh, have a seat, have a seat.
[CLEARS THROAT]
You know, I actually
saw your last movie.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
- Okay. - Seen the PR.
That you're doing
for this one here.
It's my house, actually.
Oh. You got a real
nice piece of land.
- Say, how many horses do you...
- I don't know.
I figure I should
be managing you.
- How's that?
- Well, do you have a manager?
- I do not. - You do now.
What type of managing do you do?
Ever heard of Wanda's
Waffle and Sushi House?
I can't say I've
had the pleasure.
You will. Listen,
are you a meat guy?
You could be the face
of Jon Ham Bacon.
It's kind of a side
project I'm working on.
Look, I, um, I don't think
I really need a manager.
Not a meat guy? Surprising.
Uh, how about tractors?
I'm working on a deal with
a local company here.
Uh, thank you, but no.
No. Okay moving on, moving on.
I got you, though. I
got you with this one?
- Hmm? - Money.
Everybody likes money, right?
I'm in with the banks.
"Need a loan, call
Jackson Stone."
This is all from my head, man.
I'm just winging it.
- I'm winging it, man. - Wow.
- Apologies, apologies.
- Okay, yup.
You're a little all over
the place, ain't ya?
You need an animal like me
in your corner, Jackson.
Hmm.
[SIGHS]
Let's do this.
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
[SIGHING]
Wish me luck, Jon Ham. Love you.
Okay, Jackson,
So, you just shot
all these guys.
Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow.
- And now you're out of ammo.
- Hmm.
Right? Okay.
And from behind you
comes this guy.
- Yeah. Hey, buddy. - Kenny.
Okay. A one-on-one.
So, uh, Kenny?
You just, you just grab him.
Okay. How do you want
me to approach it?
I could do, like, a step over
toe-hold sleeper, or-or I could
do a figure-four arm lock.
Yeah, that-that's great.
You just go for him.
Just... just come for me, Kenny.
That's hot, that's hot,
that's hot, that's hot.
- No, uh, um... - Hi!
I'm just not really
comfortable winging it.
Okay.
Fine.
Huck!
Huck, hey. Hello?
Oh. Ahem.
Yeah, uh, I'm so,
so sorry, folks.
Huck. Huck is here. Yeah.
- Hi. Hi. - Hi.
Uh, you ever do any stunts?
Oh, yeah.
Two, two years of
gymnastics, so.
That's, that's good.
Uh, go for him.
Uh, he's not, he's
not in the union...
No, that's fine. Thanks, Kenny.
Just go. Just go for him.
Uh-uh, okay.
- Yeah. Right now? - Yeah.
- Alright. - From back there.
Yeah.
- Ready? - Yes, I am.
Ready.
- Yeah. - That's perfect.
- That's great, that's great.
- Alright.
Oh, well, i-it's okay. You
see, I could do that!
I just thought you
wanted something...
- Mm-hmm. - Good.
Actually, I'm thinking,
Kenny, maybe you, uh
might want to have
a break there.
- Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool.
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. It's probably tired from
all that work. Thanks, buddy.
Uh, thank you, you know,
for going easy on me.
Ah, well, you know, I
got little cousins
we used to play
fight all the time.
That's all this is, you know?
- Yeah.
- Anyhow, you're a lightweight.
What do you weigh?
About 130-135?
123, thank...
[CLEARS THROAT] Thank
you very much.
- That was a joke. - I gotcha.
You were so good.
TREVOR: 'Let's shoot this.'
And remember, we're going
to do this in a one-er.
Which means we're going to shoot
the whole scene in one shot.
Okay? Everyone, remember
here, timing is everything.
So, if even one piece
of the puzzle is off
the whole thing falls apart.
So that's, so, what is
what is that? Is that a phone?
- Bernie, Bernie, Bernie!
- Phones off! Please!
- Come on, guys.
- Sorry, guys. Sorry.
- That's alright. We get it.
- All good.
So, Jackson, I want you to
enter from over there, okay?
And, Huck, uh, you can
go around the corner
and wait for your cue, okay?
Now, listen, don't miss this.
If you miss it, you're going
to screw up the whole take
and then I'll have to
beat the crap out of you.
[CHUCKLES] I'm
joking, I'm joking.
But I will fire you.
So there's that, you
could get fired.
- That's not a joke.
- No, that one's not joking.
- Yes. - Okay, good. Good luck.
See you on the other side.
Here we go.
Let's try one.
Okay, lock it up! Roll sound!
Oh, my gosh.
- 'And action.' - Hi. Okay.
I know I look very,
very strange.
I'm going to have to
do this real quick.
Good girl. Good girl.
VALERIAN: 'Finley!'
What?
[SIGHING]
No, no, no, no, no. No.
Alright.
VALERIAN: 'Finley!'
[COW MOOS]
[GOAT BLEATS]
Yes.
VALERIAN: Where are you?
Where have you been?
You told me to milk the cow,
so I'm milking the cow.
Is that what you're doing?
- Yeah. - That is disgusting.
Yeah. Yeah.
You know what? It only gets
really worse from here,
so you should probably
just go, like, right now.
Like, right now!
- You should go.
- Fine. I'm leaving.
There's got to be a better
way to get the milk out.
VALERIAN: 'Hi!'
- Hi. - How's the filming going?
Filming's going well. We're
actually rolling right now.
Oh, rolling? Okay,
shh, she, shh.
- Rolling! Rolling. - Yeah.
I owe you. Okay.
Jackson! Jackson.
Your cue, please.
Now, please.
[GRUNTING]
Oh!
[SIGHS] Seriously?
Alright. You wanna play.
Let's play.
Come on, come on.
Who's a good boy?
Are you a good boy?
Come on. Come on.
Let go. Let go! Thank you.
[GUNSHOTS]
Hope that was worth
getting shot for.
[GRUNTING]
[GROANING]
Cut! Yes!
- Huck? - 'Yes!'
Come on up.
- Oh, boys.
- Thank you, Jackson.
You're a star, man.
You are a star.
- Thanks, Trev. - Any time!
Huck, you nailed that.
You nailed that timing. That's
what I'm talking about.
- Really?
- That round-the-corner wave.
You didn't miss it.
You nailed it.
- Okay, let's move on. - Okay.
- 'And we're moving on.'
- 'I'm thinking drone.'
Oh!
Jacket.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Ah! Inside out.
Oh.
Hey, if you need help with your
pants later, you let me know.
Oh, my god! What are you...
What is your...
You know, I really
appreciate that offer.
Good lookin'.
Any time.
- Yeah, you're good.
- Alright. Thank you.
Hey, uh, Huck.
Ahem. Jackson.
Really, uh, really
nice work today.
Man, you almost made me bust up.
I swear.
Well, I'm...
Thank you, you know, so much.
I... I'm not gonna lie.
I'm sorta freaking out
that Trevor let me do
that scene with you.
Listen, listen. He let you
do it because you're good.
Alright, you're not
afraid to just go for it.
That takes balls.
Yeah, I-I got, I got those.
So, um...
what do you do for
fun around here?
Oh, ah...
There's a really nice lake, actually.
You can go fishing.
Hmm.
I-I'm sorry. You, um, you
probably meant for a night life.
Yeah, I'm looking for a
hot after-hours club.
Nah, I'm kidding!
Here, sit.
- Thanks. - No problem.
That lake sounds real nice.
Man...
You must just wake up and pinch
yourself every single day.
Now how's that?
I-I mean, you-you get to travel
the world, you know, for free.
You live the dream of
every single actor.
You're playing all
these great parts
working with the best directors.
- It's... - Hmm.
Nah, look the truth is...
...I'd give all this up
to be back at my uncle's ranch.
You know, riding my horse
taking care of the land.
Yeah. That sounds real nice.
Hey, Jackson, I'm sorry,
I, I gotta ask, um...
How did you get here?
Ah, well, ah...
It was like in the movies.
A Hollywood producer
and his wife showed up
and discovered me.
Now I got two more movies lined
up after this one, and...
you know, all I want to do is
get back on the ranch, so...
But, what are you
gonna do, right?
What are you gonna do?
BERNIE: 'Alright, we
are back people.'
Well, looks like we're back.
Oh...
Hey, uh, hey, Huck?
Yeah?
I like talking with you.
Yeah, me-me too, Jackson.
- I'll see you out there.
- Alright.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[CROWS]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
This was a dream
for all my life
I'm starting to believe
that it's finally my time
My heart is bursting
at the seams
Right here right now is
where I'm meant to be
And I've found
something more
And though I love
my country home
I feel alive for
the first time
I'm glad that I
Had the courage to
spread my wings and fly
Somehow some way
I know today's the day
That's been waiting for me
I feel the light
of the morning
And now
It seems
Against the odds my dreams
Were waiting for me
It's time to write
my own story
My own story
[DOORS OPEN]
BERNIE: 'Okay,
everybody, listen up!'
Day after tomorrow, we shoot
the big finale scene.
It is also our
last day of shoot.
So, we've got a huge day today.
'But you all have a
day off tomorrow.'
Yeah, I hear ya.
So, whaddya got goin'
for your day off?
[CHUCKLES]
Day off? I, um...
I haven't really had one of
those in a real long time.
Hmm. Nah, look, look, look
you gotta take advantage of 'em.
Alright? These long days on
set will catch up with you.
BERNIE: 'Please do not
play with your prop guns.'
JACKSON: 'Well, I'm going
to sleep in tomorrow'
and then I'm going to
check out this town.
I like it here.
BERNIE: 'Let's do this!'
'Let's get this
show on the road!'
TREVOR: 'Okay, full out
on this rehearsal here.'
'Nice, with the legs.'
Then we cut to Saffron.
She sexy-walks in.
We'll fix that later.
Then steady-cam onto the piano
pushing to the saloon girls.
Slide up the leg.
And now we're doing
a Busby Berkeley.
- Busby Berkeley. - Bugsy...
B-Busby Berkeley.
TREVOR: Then the piano flies out...
Whoosh! Good!
Then we whip-pan
right to these guys.
Give me that wheel kick.
'Then we clap it. Laser focus.'
'Now here comes Kenny.'
'Saffron sees him.'
'She's going to do some
sexy-time with the hands.'
'This is weird. Now they kiss.
Ah!'
'Now Kenny's got the lasso finale.
Okay?' The lasso...'
'Kenny, you've got to have
that lasso spinning, Kenny.'
You gotta... Oh, cut!
KENNY: 'That was close, though.'
Kenny, it-it was a mess, man.
No, no, no, no, no, I
got, I got it, I got it.
I just have to...
...make the knot tighter.
Uh, a-actually, all you gotta
do is loosen the hondu.
[LAUGHS] Okay, I think...
I think I know a little bit
more about stunt-roping
than this guy. Right, Mr.
Gymnastics?
Hey, Kenny.
Uh, Huck's right. You gotta...
You gotta loosen the hondu.
Okay. Huck, could... Huck.
Could you come down
here and please
just do this for us, please?
Uh, yeah, sure.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I'm just...
Uh, I'm just going to
take it for a second.
TREVOR: Kenny?
Let go of the rope, Kenny.
Like, letting go.
And you're buh-bying.
'Thank you. Strong work, Kenny.'
If you could just step on back.
So, whaddya-whaddya
want from him?
Whaddya got?
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Well, uh...
Ahem.
Usually, I like to start off
with a little bit of
a Texas Foot Stomp.
And then, uh, when
I'm done with that
I usually like to kick it off
with a little bit of
a Round The World.
TREVOR: 'Oh, yeah. I
love that, yeah.'
BERNIE: 'Oh, yeah!'
And then I usually like
to finish things off
by going back into
The Wedding Ring.
[ALL CHEERING]
He's like that girl
from the audition.
That girl wishes
she could do that.
Huck, buddy, that was insane.
Y-you keep surprising me.
I'm telling you.
FINLEY: You'd be surprised
how surprising I could be.
Kenny, you switch with Huck.
Uh, and, Huck, let's
start with the kiss.
What? What?
BERNIE: Okay, people, we're
starting with the kiss.
TREVOR: Yeah, big smooch.
Let's do it.
Right, right. We're gonna...
Oh! Ahem! Hello.
Well, yeah. We're gonna...
What if, what if... Hear me out.
What if we do the kiss, you know
after rehearsal, you know
once we're saving it, you know
for-for when the cameras
are-are rolling.
- You know?
- That's funny. Okay, let's go.
Anytime.
I just, I-I-I I don't
really know if...
He's probably never
kissed a girl before.
What? No!
No, Kenny.
I have kissed...
...tons of, of, of girls
ladies before.
Uh, like, so many.
So, so, so many. Uh...
...including my-my cousin...
Okay...
JACKSON: Look, look,
um, I get it.
I get it, alright?
It's weird to just
jump in and kiss a
total stranger.
Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
That's-that's-that's
exactly what I'm saying.
That-that is the only
reason that this is...
That this is
well, weird.
JACKSON: 'Well-well, I'd say'
you just do a cheat kiss.
You don't even gotta touch.
A cheat kiss?
That-that's amazing.
Yeah, let's do, let's
do a cheat kiss.
That's a great idea. Cheat kiss.
That-that sounds like, uh...
we should do it.
- I mean, Trevor-- - No, no, no.
Guys, I can't have any of that
fake crap on my set.
I need authenticity.
I have to have the real deal.
And here I am. Kiss me, Huck.
And you can, like,
really go for it.
Like, hey, totally go for it.
Right, right.
All the, all the
things you need to do.
- Yeah. - I'm here for it.
Alright, yeah.
Well, I'm, uh...
Anytime.
I'm gonna go for it right now.
I'm gonna... Kenny, your rope.
There you go, and...
Trevor, I'm just gonna go
over there and, you know
get myself loose
so I can give it.
I'm gonna give it to
you, so I'll be right...
Be right... Oh my God!
What am I doing freaking out?
I can't do this. I just...
This is so... You're
fine, you're fine.
You're just gonna go in
there and you know...
Go in there and just gonna Huck it out.
Yeah, let's Huck it.
[CLEARS THROAT] I'll be there
in two seconds, everybody.
Just give me, give
me one second.
Just go in there, you
know, and just...
Okay. Oh, my God!
Huck, just grab
her and kiss her.
Right.
Okay. Okay.
[SIGHS]
Anytime now.
[BREATHING DEEPLY]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Oh, God...
That was so...
I loved that.
Yeah, that was weirdly hot
yet not hot.
- So we're good? - 'Yeah.'
Let's do one again
for the camera
so they can see it.
Yeah!
- One more time? - Anytime.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
She's here.
Come in!
Oh, hello.
So, this is the main house.
[CHUCKLES] I know it very well.
I used to come here all
the time for coffee
and just to chat before...
...you moved in.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Welcome to the show
One two three four
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Well, howdy, folks.
Hey, Billy!
Now, sometimes, when
you're on the run
all you want is to slow it down.
A little R and R.
The only crime I see here
is no cutie around my arm.
So criminal!
Now, what's a guy got to
do for a little attention
around here, huh?
What, rob somebody?
- He's only kidding! - Nah.
The only thing I'm
here to steal tonight
is your heart.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Ain't you just the
prettiest little thing?
Jump on up my horse
little darling
Well, giddyup! We
ain't got all day.
Come take a ride with me
Come on, girl, saddle up.
Come on!
Jump on up my horse
little darling
You know I can give
you everything.
Come take a ride with me
Come take a ride with me
Come take a ride with me
Oh, oh! Oh!
- 'Cut! Cut it, cut it,
cut it!' - 'Cut! Cut!'
Hey, Jackson, Jackson!
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm good.
- 'Are you sure?'
- 'Yeah, yeah.'
FINLEY: Here. You lost your hat.
TREVOR: 'Let's go
get First Aid.'
- There you go. - Thank you.
[AS FINLEY] I was
so worried, I...
Uh...
[CLEARS THROAT]
[AS HUCK] Well, uh...
You good? Yeah, you're-you're
good, pal. Right?
Yeah, he's good, everybody.
He's, uh, he's real good, folks.
Just a big boy over here.
Let me check him.
Up, yeah. Yeah, ooh! Oh!
He's got it. There we go.
Yeah. Alright.
- Are you okay, buddy?
- 'We're just gonna...'
TREVOR: 'You know, I'm
thinking, you know what?'
Uh, let's just, let's
just kinda regroup.
Let's take ten.
Let's take a break.
FINLEY: 'No, no, no,
I-I feel good.'
TREVOR: 'I just wanna
check him out'
'make sure
everything's alright.'
Alright, I'm just gonna go.
Excuse me.
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[SIGHS] My god, what was that?
"Jackson, I was so
worried about you."
No, you weren't worried.
You were...
No, no, no, no, no.
You are not selling my house!
We're not much of
a coffee family.
Valerian! You can't do this!
[CLEARS THROAT]
- Do what, Huck? - Do, uh...
This, you know? All-all of this.
I mean, this-this
house is amazing.
It amazes me that you have
decorated this all by yourself.
Aw, thank you, Huck.
I did dabble a little
in Interior Design.
Really, really, really nice.
Man, if this house, you
know, with all the...
Well, let's just say,
if I had this house
I would never sell it.
I would never, ever,
ever, ever sell it.
Have we met before, Huck?
Yeah. You look
familiar to me, too.
And where's that-that
accent of yours from?
Oh, uh...
You know, uh, I-I got a
real, real quick break
so I was just gonna
pop on in here
use the restroom,
if that's alright.
Uh, no. Ew.
Um, there's portable
toilets outside.
Alright. Yeah, yeah.
I'll go use those.
Got a real nice zing,
though, by the way
so it would have been...
Bye-bye.
Alright.
It's a lovely home, ain't it?
Oh, it sure is.
[DOOR OPENS]
LOUISE: 'So, as I was saying'
this property has been
in the Tremaine family
for over a century.
It's practically a landmark.
Oh, dump it. The
sooner the better.
KALE: 'H-h-h-hold on, hold on.'
If we can get landmark status
would that add value
to the house?
Well, I don't know, but
it would guarantee
that the property
would be preserved.
Oh, pfft!
They can turn it into a Chuck
E Cheese for all I care.
KALE: 'Yeah, she-she's right.'
Just get us some offers as
soon as possible, okay?
[LOUISE SIGHS]
It breaks my heart to think
about selling this property.
'I always imagined'
that this house would stay
in the family forever
Finley having
little babies here.
The thought! Um...
The thought is so lovely.
But, you know,
teenagers these days
they just want to get
out and see the world.
'Ugh...'
Okay! New plan. Change.
Get back in there.
I'm just going to go...
I'm just going to change.
Okay.
[AS HUCK] Ahem. Hello, sir.
How ya doin'?
Just dropping this bag off to
one of the ladies, you know.
Alright. Okay...
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
I'm so sorry! So,
so, so sorry, Miss!
My God! Okay...
Well, uh, I'm, uh,
let you two be.
I see it's very
occupied in there.
I can hold it.
God, that's disgusting. Oh.
'They cannot sell this house.'
[CLEARS THROAT]
Excuse me. Anybody in here?
No?
Oh, my God.
Sell the house! They
can't sell the house.
I mean, she's done some
crazy things before
but this is just...
- Okay... - 'Huck?'
Are you kidding me?
KALE: 'Huck?'
[DOOR CLOSES]
Huck?
[CHUCKLES]
I can tell you're in here.
Oh.
Excuse me, young man.
Now, unless you are
here for a fitting
and I don't believe that you are
then I highly suggest
that you get on your way
before I have to call security
and have them escort you out.
Excuse me, have you seen a
man around here somewhere?
The only man that I see
is a disrespectful one
standing right in front of me.
BERNIE: 'Does anyone
have a 20 on Huck?'
That means now! Young man, go.
Shoo!
Get out of my trailer. Shoo!
It's my property.
This is my property!
- This is my property. - Shoo!
[SIGHS]
BERNIE: 'Where's Huck? Does
anyone have a 20 on Huck?'
'Please, people, help me here!'
FINLEY: 'Really?'
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[COW MOOS]
Yee-haw!
How is my favorite client today?
- I'm not your client, Kale.
- No. Not yet.
But if you take a little lookie.
[SNORTS] Right?
I mean, it-it-it is rough
but I think you'll see
where I'm going with it.
- I see something.
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
Okay, listen, um...
- Hey, Kale? - Yeah, buddy?
Who is that girl over there?
KALE: 'Oh, God, why?'
Well, I think that's the
girl from the audition, no?
Oh, yes. Yeah.
Yeah. That's Pig Girl.
Just a muddy little nobody.
Tragic, really.
Listen, I-I-I think I
hear them calling for me.
Alright? You hold onto this.
I-I love the idea.
Wonderful work. I'll
catch up with you later.
I was just hoping maybe
you'd take a look
at this contract that I drew up.
JACKSON: 'Hey, hey,
hey, hold on now.'
Hold on to this water
for me, too, bud.
Thanks. I'll be right with you.
Well, I'll hold that.
I'll be right here.
And she rides, too.
FINLEY: You want me?
Come and get me.
- Hold on. - 'Come on, boy.'
Let's go. Come on, boy.
Let's go. Come on.
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Come on, let's go. Come on. Hey.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
JACKSON: Come on. Hyah! Hyah!
JACKSON: Hyah! Come on.
FINLEY: Come on, boy.
JACKSON: Hey, hey, hold up!
[HORSES GALLOPING]
It's okay, it's
okay, it's alright.
Who are you?
I think we might have a
little bit of a problem
with Jackson and Finley.
The only problem we have
is that you haven't
managed to sign him yet.
God, mom, that is so unfair.
He's impossible to get to.
He's either on set working
or hanging out with Huck.
I'm starting to honestly think
that those two might be...
...you know, which
would be very cute.
Um, that is totally ridiculous.
I happen to know
Huck is into girls
because when he kissed
me, it was so...
Right. There's also
something fishy going on
between Finley and Huck.
[CHUCKLES] Okay.
Huck would never be
interested in Finley!
I didn't say Huck was
interested in Finley
I said Jackson was.
VALERIAN: Oh! Oh...
I don't think we need to worry
about the Pig Girl.
Okay, listen, I can only hear
one conversation at a time.
Does anyone have eyes
on Jackson and Huck?
Alright.
There we go, there we go.
It's okay. Oh! Ow!
Come on. Come on. Attaboy.
Ah, she got away
from us this time.
That's alright. We'll
get her next time.
You're a good horse.
You're a good boy, alright?
You're alright. You just shied
away from that jump today.
It's okay.
'I can teach you.'
'You know, I had a gelding
just like you back home.'
How about a treat?
Let's get you a treat.
Yeah, these will do.
What do you say, hmm?
Yeah. There you go.
I can do almost everything, but
I can't control the weather
so just get me a
rain-cover set ASAP.
- Bernie! - Oh!
Okay, I've got Huck.
I still need a 20 on Jackson.
Trevor's been looking for you.
Please don't wander off
like that again, okay?
Yeah, I won't. I am so
sorry about that. Sorry.
- Go talk to him.
- Oh, everything, though...
- Everything is great. - Okay.
- Jackson. - Hey, where ya been?
Where have you been?
I've just been checking
out the property.
Mm, yeah, it's a...
...real nice piece of land.
Beautiful, you could say, yeah.
Yeah, real beautiful.
I'd like to find me a
place like this some day.
That would be real
nice, real nice.
Jackson? Huck?
- Mm? - Let's huddle up.
I heard "Huddle up."
That's me, right?
You guys need me for this one?
No, Kenny, we're fine.
- Yeah, let's go. - Alright.
Alright.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Okay.
Ah-ah-ah!
The chemistry between
you two on camera...
...is-is-is magical.
It's weird.
So, I'm going to take a
chance on you, Huck.
I'm giving you the part that
I was going to give Kenny.
So...
...this is for the
big finale scene.
Take it.
Now, we have a company
day off tomorrow
so you go home, you work hard,
you memorize those lines
and don't be late again.
- No! - Alright.
No, no, sir, I-I won't.
I promise. This is
everything to me.
Well, well, you can thank
your pal, Jackson, here
because it was his idea.
There it is. Good luck!
Bernie, shut it down.
- 'Okay, we are moving on.'
- See you, Trev.
Ahem.
- Jackson, uh... - What's up?
Thank you.
I don't even know what to say.
No thanks needed.
Ah, look, I-I owe you.
Look, you saved me from having
to do the scene with Kenny.
Alright?
Uh, I-I really shouldn't
laugh at that
because I really feel bad
for the poor guy, you know?
Right.
Uh...
Huck, y-y-your...
your-your mustache
is a little askew.
Yeah.
Oh, um...
[CHUCKLES]
You know, Huck, I, uh
I figured as much.
You did?
Yeah.
You can't grow facial hair.
So what?
Yeah, yeah. Uh...
I-I can't grow facial hair. I...
Oh, it feels good to get that
off my chest, you know that?
- You got that. - Alright.
It's 'cause I got such
a, such a babyface.
You know what I mean?
To get the part
I had to, had to look the part
but, you know, you got me.
Well, look, you're lucky.
I'll tell you what, I feel like
I'm shaving this every day
morning, noon and night,
you know what I'm saying?
- One day. - Right, right.
Well, I'll tell you what, look
your secret's safe with me.
Okay?
Alright. That's good news, yeah.
I'll catch you later.
- Thank you. - See you, bud.
[SIGHS]
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
The best part is
that even though
the lighting was really bad the
selfie was still really good
and I just felt like,
I don't know--
I, I am, I was gonna
go fishing tomorrow
since, you know, it's my day off.
Sorry.
You don't have a day off.
I meant your day off.
- Of filming, you know? - Oh.
I'll make breakfast first.
- I want French Toast. - Okay.
Fine, whatever.
Just stop talking.
Okay.
Saffron, if the director
pegged you as "Talent"
why hasn't he given
you a bigger part?
Mm!
You don't know anything, mom.
This is how the film
business works.
Oh, I know how monkey
business works.
What?
Boys like Jackson are
only after one thing.
FINLEY: That is not true!
What is not true?
How would you even know?
Yes, Finley. How would you?
[CHUCKLES]
Because I, um...
I overheard Jackson
and Huck talking
when they were by the barn
and they said the
director thinks
Saffron is really talented
and he wants to make
her part bigger.
[LAUGHS]
VALERIAN: I knew it.
Yeah, I don't buy it.
I mean, no offense, but
we've all seen you act.
Don't be jelly.
Kale, she's right.
It's not about how
you play the game
it's about whether
or not you win.
Potato potato.
You do know you have to
say them differently
for that phrase to work, right?
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[FINLEY SINGING SOFTLY]
JACKSON: Do you
mind if I join you?
I'm so sorry! I didn't
know you were...
Um...
Do you know, the, uh,
the-the-the fish
they just they're-they're really
not biting over here at all.
I think if you, you know,
go up the lake a little bit
like way down, it
would be better.
Yeah, I think I'll,
uh, take my chances.
Great.
Um...
Okay, well, um...
have a, have a good day.
- You leaving already?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Is it something I said?
- No. No, no.
Uh, no, no you, uh, you are...
...fine. I, um...
Good luck, you know,
with, uh, everything.
Come on, now, please don't go.
I-I have to. You know,
I forgot my bait.
You mean this bait?
Yup.
Yup, that, um...
That'll be the one. If you
could just, you know...
- Just right. Yeah. - Thank you.
Now you're probably wishing
you had that horse
right about now, huh?
And you're probably
thinking to yourself
"Can I outrun him?"
I don't think so.
Look...
I know it's you.
- It isn't me. - Yeah, it is.
- No, it isn't-- - Yes, it is.
- No, it isn't! - Yes, it is.
Fine.
Yes, it's me.
I'm so embarrassed right now.
Embarrassed?
For what?
Sorry, do you not remember me?
I'm the girl that
fell flat on her face
when she was trying
to wrangle her pig.
And I thought that was some
mighty fine pig wrangling.
Okay. I wasn't there
to wrangle a pig.
I was there to get a
part in your movie.
Well, look.
You're-you're going
to get another shot.
Yeah, a plain girl
from Dreary, Idaho
isn't getting another chance.
Man...
Look at me. Go on.
There is nothing
plain about you.
Now, will you come sit
and fish with me?
I was here first, so.
Yeah, keep staring at
me, I'll sell you both.
Finley!
Fin-ley! Anyone home?
No.
Sorry.
[MUD SQUELCHING]
Oh!
Fantastic.
Disgusting. Absolutely dis...
[PIG GRUNTING]
You.
Shouldn't you be,
like, a sandwich
or something by now?
[GRUNTS]
Let's get something straight,
Jon Ham, I don't like you
I don't like your
stupid little face...
Okay, calm down.
Bad pig. Bad pig! Bad pig!
Get away from me, Fatty!
Get away!
Hey, hey, hey, easy. Easy.
[GRUNTING]
Oh!
What are you smiling about?
You just remind me of someone.
Mm. A girl back home?
No, no. My friend,
Huck, actually.
Oh!
Oh, that's, um
that's-that's weird.
Yeah, it's, uh...
You know, uh, I don't mean
that I think you
look like a boy.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I did not think
that you were saying that, no.
- You are a boy, right? - I am.
- Yeah. I'm a girl!
- You're a girl!
Hold on, you've got a piece
of grass in your hair.
Oh, sorry. Got it?
Yeah.
That was, uh...
- That was, um... - Weird.
That was weird.
But thanks.
Seriously? Where
would Finley keep...
Oh.
Stupid little trusting Pig Girl.
Oh, bee! Bee!
[PIG SNORTING]
What is your problem?
[KALE SCREAMS]
BOTH: So...
- My-my friend. - Mm? Huck?
- Huck. - Huck.
Yeah, no, he's, um...
- He's amazing. - Oh.
Really? He's, like,
a, like a good guy?
Oh, yeah. No, he's a great guy.
I meant, he's...
...he's an amazing actor.
I'm-I'm sorry. He's,
like, an amazing actor?
Hmm.
[LAUGHS] You-you think
that-that he's...
...that he's that amazing?
Like, he could, he could
go far or something
like in show business?
That, is, like...
[LAUGHING] That is like,
this sounds so cool.
Like, from you, especially...
- You know, from...
- Right, right.
That's really great
for-for him, you know?
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, I'll, uh...
I'll let him know how
happy you are for him.
Yeah. Yeah, please do, you know.
[PIG GRUNTING]
Oh, God! You devil pig!
Oh, God!
Oh, God...
[PANTING]
Disgusting.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Oh, dear.
You know, this is one
of the best days
I've had in a long while.
Yeah.
Me too.
And, look, I don't
know about you
but, uh, I think I
need another shot
at that horse race.
Oh.
I just don't think
you could keep up.
You're funny...
...and you're kinda cute.
[LAUGHING] Stop.
You know...
...this business...
...it's just filled
with people pretending
to be somethin' that they ain't.
But you...
...you're real.
[CHUCKLES]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[CHUCKLES]
Real.
Jackson...
I, um...
I have to tell you something.
Um...
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
[SIGHS]
I'm so sorry.
No worries.
Um...
Sorry. I'm...
Um...
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
[SIGHS]
Is everything okay?
I have to go.
- What is it? - I am so sorry.
Wait!
I don't even know your name!
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
VALERIAN: 'Where have you been?'
Okay, um...
Look, I can, uh, I
can, I can explain.
Finley...
...are you and Huck, like...
What?
Saffron, no.
Finley...
...why don't you
explain to them?
Or should I say...
"...Huck"?
Why are we calling her "Huck"?
SAFFRON: Did she
change her name?
How am I related to you people?
Okay, um...
Look, I, uh, I...
I messed up.
'Um, Valerian, I, um...'
I really wanted to be in
this movie, right and...
...the only way that
I could do that
was to, uh...
...disguise myself...
...as a boy.
Um, as-as Huck.
Wait!
Finley, you're Huck?
[GASPS] Ew!
Oh!
That's why Huck didn't ask
me out after our kiss.
- Saffron. - 'Yeah?'
There is no Huck.
Yeah, I get that, Kale.
KALE: 'Do you?'
Valerian, I'm...
I get it if you're mad.
I didn't--
Finley, give me your phone.
- What?
- Saffron, take Finley's phone.
Yeah, I...
I need that for...
Ew.
VALERIAN: 'I am not stupid.'
You have been laughing
at me all this time.
- No, no, no, no. Valerian, I--
- Look, shut up!
This is what's going to happen.
You are going to stay...
...in the barn tonight...
...and think about all the harm
you have done to this family.
And tomorrow, we'll tell Louise
to take the first
offer she gets.
We are finally getting
out of this hell hole.
- Valerian. - No, quiet!
You have lost all rights
to have a say in this.
Stupid little Pig Girl.
[KALE SNORTS]
KALE: 'Wait, who's
gonna make me dinner?'
[GATE CLOSES]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[SNIFFLES]
[WHISPERS] It's okay. Okay.
Dad.
[CRYING]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[ROOSTER CROWING]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Okay.
Okay...
You're kidding me.
Keys.
[GRUNTS]
Has anyone seen Huck?
Okay, all departments
does anyone have a 20 on Huck?
[ON RADIO] FEMALE #1: 'Negative
at the camera trucks.'
Dammit!
Oh, where is he?
Hi!
Got it... got it.
[GASPS]
[ON RADIO] BERNIE: 'Anyone
have eyes on Huck?'
Not in Wardrobe.
I think it needs to be tighter.
Hmm.
Okay, go to Circus
check inside his trailer.
- Who's over at Catering?
- 'Uh, Cam.'
Yeah. Both of you, just check.
You realize this is your job
to know where he is
at all times, right?
[ON RADIO] MALE #2:
'Okay, Bernie.'
- Well? - Nothing.
- Well, try his cell.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
[PITCHFORK SNAPPING]
[PHONE RINGING]
Uh, Bernie! Bernie! Bernie!
KALE: I have an idea for you.
Uh, It's a good one.
Have you heard of Jon Ham...
Excuse me.
- What? - Uh, hi. Jon Ham Bacon?
Well, we've been thinking
about expanding.
Jackson's onboard. I'm
his manager, by the way.
I'm his manager.
- Hi! - Hello.
SAFFRON: Snack.
Hello!
Anyone? Hello?
It doesn't do a bird's-eye,
the thing doesn't make sense
and that's what I'm saying...
Did you find him?
Went to voicemail.
[SIGHS]
- Go get Kenny. - Yeah.
I need, uh...
I'm going to need some
sort of, um, sandwich.
I'm going to need a sandwich.
Agh!
[SIGHS]
You need me?
Yeah.
Yeah, I need you, Kenny.
Yes!
[GUFFAWS]
Oh...
[SIGHS]
[SCRATCHING ON DOOR]
You show up there.
You got some chocolate on there.
Let's get rid of that.
Morning, y'all...
- Morning. - What's going on?
Well, looks like we
get to do our scene
together after all, buddy.
And how's that?
Where's Huck?
He didn't show.
We can't reach him.
So, we're going
to go with Kenny.
Mm-hmm.
We gotta shoot.
TREVOR: I understand, Bernie.
Oh, this is your chance!
Really?
- Get over there. - Really?
Don't blow it again.
[GRUNTS]
You're very hard on her.
- Hi! - Hi...
Howdy, howdy, howdy.
Oh. Ew.
Listen, now is
really not the time.
Oh, but, um...
...I heard that you wanted
to make my part bigger...
...and yes.
I'm sorry, what?
No, no, that's
right, that's right.
You mentioned that.
Uh, you guys discuss
that right now, alright?
I'm gonna go...
You're not. Don't do this to me.
Jackson.
[SCRATCHING]
What?
Are you...
What is that?
Again, I want to say
thank you to all of the locals
who showed up today,
ready to work
as Background Artists.
My mom would like to
discuss the game plan
for selling the property.
Things have changed, and...
Uh, shh! I-I can't
hear the nice lady.
BERNIE: We're just waiting
on one more cast member.
Hey, Huck?
Huck, where you at?
[SCRATCHING ON DOOR]
Jon Ham!
Yes! Good boy, Jon Ham!
Good boy! Good boy! You
got it, you got it!
Easy. Good boy,
good boy, come on!
Thank you!
[SIGHING]
Jon Ham...
...you are my hero.
It's showtime.
- I got Jackson!
- Okay, we got Jackson.
Okay, good. Let's do this, then.
Trevor, are we really
shooting this?
Yeah, I'm sorry, buddy.
We gotta.
- We gotta, we gotta. - Okay.
BERNIE: 'Actors to first
position, please.'
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Yes!
[SET BELL RINGS]
And...
...action!
Everything you said was a lie.
It may've been a lie, Billy...
...but...
Uh, but, uh...
I am so sorry, I, I...
Can I get the line?
Can we go back?
I forgot, I forgot the line.
- Going again! - 'Sorry.'
[PANTING]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
TREVOR: And...
...action!
Everything you said was a lie.
Oh...
It may have been a lie, Billy.
but...
Oh!
[ALL GASP]
Aah!
I think that's broken.
[GROANS]
- That was close. - Ooh!
Don't touch him. He's fine.
Your, uh, your-your tooth.
Gone.
Is it noticeable?
- Let's go again. - Go... Uh...
- He's missing a tooth.
- I don't care.
We didn't establish teeth.
Get him up!
Okay, let me go again.
- Up you go. - 'Up I go.'
Yup. Oh, Kenny's alright.
Coach, we're okay.
I-I got this. I'll
just go again.
TREVOR: 'Okay.'
I'm going to make you proud!
'Okay. Ooh, I feel good.'
- Okay, we should go.
- Okay, let's go, then.
Here we go, and rolling.
Rolling!
Action.
Everything you said was a lie.
[GAGGING]
[RETCHING]
- We got this, we got this.
- This isn't going to work.
It's going to work.
Ugh...
No.
BERNIE: 'Should we cut?'
No, we're not going to cut.
Give him the line again, please.
- Really?
- Yes. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Okay. Uh...
Everything you said was a lie.
[FINLEY AS HUCK] 'It may
have been a lie, Billy...'
It's all been a lie.
[AS FINLEY] But I never
meant to hurt you.
What's going on with his voice?
I should have told you
at the lake.
Lake? What lake? What lake?
Right, we shoulda...
We shoulda talked at the lake.
But I was too afraid to.
I was...
...too scared of...
...what might happen.
Is he taking off his clothes?
But I am sick
and tired...
...of being afraid.
You know our friend, Huck...
...he made me realize
that I could either
stay invisible...
...or I could be remarkable.
So, if coming clean...
...means losing everything...
[GASPS]
...then it just
wasn't in the cards.
[CHUCKLES]
Who are you?
That's a good question.
Some people call me "Pig Girl."
My daddy, though, he
called me "Princess."
All I know is that I
have got one chance...
...and even if I end
up with mud on my face
I am going to take it.
Jackson...
I'm so sorry that I
didn't tell you sooner.
Um...
This is a lot to take in.
Yeah, I know.
Can you forgive me?
I don't know.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
And cut!
Yes!
TREVOR: 'Okay, I don't
know what that was.'
I don't know what that
was, but I'm loving that.
I am... Oh!
You...
...are extraordinary.
I thought you were a... Um...
- But you're a,
you're a-- - 'Girl!'
- Yeah. - A badass girl.
KENNY: 'I knew it!'
I knew there was
something weird about--
Shut up, Kenny.
I'm gonna put you
in my next movie.
The one starring Jackson.
You're not putting her anywhere.
You can't stop me
from going, Valerian.
Well, I guess if you
want to say goodbye...
...to your childhood home.
And the first thing to go...
...will be that little pig.
Straight to the slaughterhouse.
I don't really think
that you would do that.
Because I think that
there is a heart
in there somewhere, Valerian.
- For crying out loud.
Louise? - 'Yeah?'
Please.
- 'Louise?' - Yes?
We'll take the first
offer you get.
Well, I'd have to get the
owner's approval to do that.
I just gave it to you.
'Oh, well, after our meeting...'
I did some digging
and it turns out
that Mr. Tremaine left the
property to his daughter.
He left it to me?
[SCOFFS] Not you.
His real daughter.
So, you'd have to ask her.
Is that true, Louise?
It is.
So, you're saying...
You've got squat.
Ahh...
I want this more than anything.
You guys have no idea
but I, I can't leave my farm
my animals, my home--
Hold on now.
I might be able to
help you out there.
- Hey, Trev? - 'Yeah?'
Come here, bud.
What's up?
Look, I got...
I got good news and
I got bad news.
- Okay. - Bad news is...
...you're gonna have to find
a new lead for your film.
Uh, excuse me?
The good news is...
Huck here is your star.
My name's Finley.
Now, that is a great name.
TREVOR: Think that really is.
Well, you know, it was
written for a male.
- It-it's an action film.
- Right.
But I'm thinking right now
that it would be so much
better with a female.
Finley.
Geez.
- I'm making calls. - Okay.
And, Miss Finley
if it was okay by you...
Hm...
I could hang back
look after your farm.
Keep them horses in shape.
You know, since my step-family
won't be living here anymore...
I will need someone to
look after Jon Ham.
Right. Hey, Kale?
Yeah, buddy. Yeah.
Listen, I won't be needing
a manager anymore
but if you're interested
I will need someone to
shovel Jon Ham's poop.
[SCOFFS]
I see.
Alrighty then.
- I'm not picking up poop.
- No...
- You're picking up poop.
- I'm not picking up pig poop.
VALERIAN: 'You're supposed
to fix this, Kale.'
You know, uh...
I could take off after you...
finish shooting your movie.
Hmm.
Yeah...
...or not.
Or not.
There is somethin' about you.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Now I know I
know I know yeah
Umm umm-umm
Once upon a time
It was never going right
But in the blink of an eye
It's then I got a sign
Everything fell right
here into places
And found its way to me
I guess it was
supposed to happen
Like it was meant to be
I got a feeling that
I'm gonna remember
This song forever and ever
There's nothing like a sweet
sweet sweet starlight
I'm feeling free free free
It's alright
Moving with the flow
Yeah this is my time
No matter where I go
It'll be alright
'Cause the stars
will always align
Tell me who did ever know
That I may live here
I was feeling so alone
The future was unclear
Yeah I used to think
That my story was
written with an end
Now I know I have control
And I've got my pen in hand
I got a feeling that
I'm gonna remember
This song forever and ever
There's nothing like
A sweet sweet
sweet starlight
I'm feeling free free free
It's alright
Moving with the flow
Yeah this is my time
No matter where I go
It'll be alright
'Cause the stars
will always align
Now I know I know I know
Ohhh ohh oh ho oh oh
Now I know I know I know
Ohhh ohh oh ho oh oh
There's nothing like
A sweet sweet
sweet starlight
I'm feeling free free free
It's alright
Moving with the flow
Yeah this is my time
No matter where I go
It'll be alright
'Cause the stars
will always align
Ohhh ohh oh ho oh oh
Yeah I know I know
Ohhh ohh oh ho oh oh
Ohhh ohh oh ohhh oh oh
The stars will always align
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]