A Doggone Hollywood (2017) Movie Script

1
[film reel spinning]
[action theme music]
[Voiceover] Doggy 911.
A QN Production starring
Murphy, the wonder dog,
and Dirk Stevens
with tonight's special
guest star, Cynthia RothRock
Tonight's episode,
"A Bark in Time Saves Nine."
[drums beating suspensefuly]
[Dirk] You see anything, Murph?
[barks]
Yeah, I didn't think so.
Nothing this side either.
Sure hope we find them
before they reach that incline
down to Devil's Gorge.
[road sounds]
Well, what do ya say, guys?
Did you have fun this weekend?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, only...
Only what dear?
Well, these brakes are
getting kind of squishy
for a new floor model.
I didn't hear you complaining
about them on the way up.
Well, they were all right then,
but now,
we definitely have to get it
checked out
before we go much farther.
I don't think we're going
to find a mechanic up here.
No, but I know for a fact
there's a service station
at the foot of Devil's Gorge.
[suspenseful music]
Home Base to Doggie 911.
Home Base to Doggie 911.
Come in please. Over.
This is Doggie 911.
Go ahead, Patty. Over.
Matt, any sign of those
campers yet?
Nothing so far.
What about Murphy?
He's usually pretty good at
honing in on people in trouble.
Yeah, I know.
We've both been looking,
but nothing yet.
That's not good.
Murph better find them soon,
before something
real bad happens.
You sure that park ranger's
got his story straight?
Well, according to
Fish and Game,
there was like four quarts of
brake fluid
spilled on the ground
where those SUVs
were parked last night.
Yeah, probably hit a root,
or a stump, or something.
Either way, if they hit
a downhill slope of any kind,
they won't make it.
They're done for.
Yeah, I know. I get it.
[whining]
Hold up Patty,
I think we got something.
What is it Murph?
You see something?
[whining]
Got him. Good going boy.
[barking]
Hey Patty, Murph found 'em.
Oh, that's great. Where at?
They're about four miles
out from Devil's Gorge.
Oh, you better go get 'em,
they're not going to make it
down that steep hill.
I'm going to do just that.
Signing off, doll. Over and out.
Over and out.
Looks like I'm going to have to
put down
in that clearing over there
and run through the woods
until we get to the road.
You ready for that?
[barks]
[laughs]
I thought you'd say that.
All right boy, let's do this.
[suspenseful music]
[panting] Come on Murph,
we got about a minute
to make it to that cut-off road.
- [barking]
- Let's go!
[suspenseful music]
There it is, Devil's Gorge.
I see it. I see it.
Shawn, look out!
Murphy!
[screaming]
- Hang on. Hang on.
- Kids, hold on tight.
[screaming]
Is anyone hurt?
Kids, Sunny, you okay?
Shaken, not stirred.
- I'm all right dad.
- Me too.
Oh my goodness,
think of what could have
happened on that mountain.
We're mighty lucky that you
and your dog
came along when you did.
If you hadn't forced us to brake
we might all be down
at the bottom of that ravine.
Yeah, thanks to Murphy here,
everybody's okay.
That's quite a dog
you've got there mister.
Tell me about it.
Not another dog
quite like Murph.
Go on boy. Go on.
[Bark]
Hi, Murphy.
And, cut.
Can I get a drink here please!
Cynthia, that was beautiful,
so sincere.
Thanks J.W.
If you need me
I'll be in my trailer.
Fine, all right, everybody,
let's take five.
I've gotta talk
to the producers.
[Crewman] What do you need
makeup for at this hour?
How did I do today Dirk?
Great, better than that scene
stealing mutt.
[whining]
I actually think he's
kind of sweet.
Oh, do you?
He'd be a lot sweeter if he had
second billing.
Can't believe my agent
still has me playing
second fiddler to
Mr. Mange over there.
Dude, your jealous of a dog.
Ha, ha, ha. Shut up.
All right, get the dog back in
the limo, okay?
I don't want those
Hollywood brats
rough-housing with my star.
Yes sir, right away.
All right, and tell those lazy,
good-for-nothing bodyguards
to keep both eyes on our lead,
all right?
Yes sir.
I didn't send a personal
invitation to play cards!
Listen, there's a couple
lookieloos in the tree-line
trying to get a look
at our star,
just shoo them away.
Whatever you say Mr. Wagner..
Yes. [sighs]
What a jerk!
Go fish.
Again?
[dog whining]
Okay kids, give him up.
Aw, can we play with him
for just a little while?
He's such a neat dog.
And smart too.
This is not a play dog,
this is a money dog.
And in Hollywood boys and girls,
cash is king.
- But...
- But nothing.
You wanna romp with a mutt,
go to the pound.
This dog needs to go back
where he came from.
[dog whining]
Turn the air conditioning
on high,
and give him water whether he
needs it or not.
And when we wrap, take him back
to the kennel
and lock him up.
Will do, sir.
Kids! Kids! Get out of here!
Get out of here, kids! [grunts]
[dog whining]
Heck, dog, what are you
crying about?
You're a Hollywood star.
You got it made.
[dog whining]
[intro music]
[horse trotting]
[film reel spinning]
[intro music]
[boat whistle]
[police siren]
[film reel spinning]
[dog whining]
[intro music]
[cat mewing]
[motorcycle engine]
[water splashing]
[roaring]
[engine sounds]
So, now we know where he is.
How do we get down there to
take a picture?
[Kyle] Let's go down and
just ask them.
No way.
Those movie people don't usually
like kids anywhere
near where they're shooting.
Yeah, I heard that they were
really mean.
Well, we came this far,
we gotta at least try.
Ronnie's right, it'd be a shame
to go home empty-handed.
Your brother really wanted
a picture of you and Murphy.
Mm, you're right.
I'm calling him right now,
he'll know a way.
[digital beeping]
[Peter] Did you get it?
Did you get it?
Not yet, they put him in a limo
and we can't even get close.
Did you even ask?
Peter, they were yelling at us
from a half mile away.
I don't think they're going to
call us up and say,
come on over kids,
take all the selfies you want.
Hold on, I got to check out
that limo.
How?
Police drone system.
You're kidding?
Big brother finally
comes in handy for a change.
[typing sounds]
[beeping]
Okay, good. I got it.
What's good?
The limo is equipped with
satellite Wi-Fi.
I can hack it.
What good will that do?
You'll see little sis.
Hey, does Kyle have
his tablet?
When's he ever without it?
Okay, good.
Tell him I'm sending one of my
special apps.
He'll know what to do.
[typing sounds]
[beeping]
He's sending you something.
He says you'll know what to do.
Oh brother, here comes trouble.
Relax guys, let me see what
it is first.
Hey guys, check this out.
It's called, "Walking the Dog."
Yo-Yo, we're here to see the
real dog,
not your dumb toy, okay?
Okay. Okay.
[Woman] Oh!
Candace, to what do I owe
the pleasure?
[sighs] Look here Jim,
these production reports tell me
you're over a week-and-a-half
behind schedule.
That is totally unacceptable.
I'm doing the best I can.
You know the old Hollywood adage
about dogs and kids?
Well, I've got both of them.
You're lucky you're getting
anything good.
That mutt is a terror
on four paws.
That mutt has the number one
show on television.
His face is on everything from
sneakers to cereal boxes,
not to mention our main sponsor,
Alamo Pet Chow.
So?
So, with all that's riding
on new episodes,
we can't afford to slow down
delivery.
If we miss an air date,
the network stands
to lose millions.
It would be like postponing
the Super Bowl.
[laughs] I have a sneaking
suspicion
I know where this is going.
I bet you do.
From this day forward,
Doggie 911 will shoot
seven days a week
until the time is made up.
That is ridiculous.
You cannot work people
seven days a week,
without a break.
Same goes for the dog.
We own the dog.
He's our property.
Shoot him 24/7 if you have to.
What about the crew?
They'll mutiny.
Not if they're
making golden time?
What about the kids?
There's no way around that.
They can only be on the set
eight hours a day.
That's easy.
Hire triplets and work 'em
around the clock.
[Jim] You know,
I've had it with you!
[Candace] Oh really?
[Jim] All your orders.
Barking orders from Hollywood.
There they go again.
It's getting to be
a weekly occurrence.
Yeah, well, as long as it
doesn't involve us
they can scream all they want.
Besides, it eats up
production time.
We wrap in 20 minutes.
[laughs] Should I check out our
charge again?
What for?
He's in the limo with Leo.
Murphy's not going anywhere
except back to lock up.
- Poor little guy.
- Poor little guy?
That poor little guys makes more
in a day than we do
in a month combined.
I didn't mean it that way.
I know you didn't, buddy.
Go fish.
[headphone guitar riffs]
[beeping]
And the download is complete.
Took long enough.
Hey, not bad for being out here
in the middle of nowhere.
So what is it anyway?
Well, according to Peter,
it let's me connect
straight to the limo's computer
through satellite Wi-Fi.
And this helps us how?
You'll see.
Just be careful, Kyle. Okay?
Watch closely.
[beeping]
[dog whining]
Sydney, guys, get your
cellphones out.
I think a photo op
is about to happen.
[dog panting]
Okay guys, it's now or never,
get ready to get your jpegs.
I'm going to open the rear door.
Here goes nothing.
[beeping]
Hey, Kyle, you did it!
You did it!
There he is! He's right there.
That dog is fast.
[yelling]
[suspenseful music]
He got out, let's get him!
Wait Murphy, come back!
[Kids] Go Murphy, go!
We should help.
[laughter]
Not on your life.
I hope he escapes
and never comes back.
Come here mutt.
[barking]
He's loose.
Well, we got to get him back.
That's our meal ticket
out there.
Well, now maybe with that dog
out of the picture,
I'll finally get top billing.
Actually, with the dog gone
they'll probably just
cancel the whole show.
They wouldn't do that.
I can carry it alone.
I know I can.
Uh, Doggie 911, sweetie?
The show is called,
"Doggie 911."
Oh yeah. Murphy!
We better get out of here
before they think we did it.
But we did do it.
Right, reason enough
to be gone.
Second that.
Anyone get a good picture?
I got a couple but they're
all blurry.
That doggie moves fast.
Mine's great.
Peter's going to love it.
I wonder what happened
to Murphy?
[Murphy] Don't worry
about it Isaac,
I got away safe and sound.
Huh? Who said that?
Said what?
Nothing. Come on.
[laughter] I'm back baby!
Last time I looked at
your contracts boys,
you were supposed to be sole
security for Murphy,
not card sharks
sitting around set
playing canasta all day.
- But...
- But nothing!
You had one job,
and one job only,
keep that dog safe and secure.
You've done neither.
But it wasn't our fault,
somebody must have opened
the car door and let him loose.
Who?
You were both seated less
than five yards away.
Who let him out? Tell me?
Leo sure didn't.
Pottman.
I could have been Pottman,
the dogs trainer, right?
Pottman could have done it.
I doubt that.
He's to invested in the dog
to do something so stupid.
No, gentleman, as it stands
Murphy disappeared on your watch
and the agency, meaning me,
is holding you both
personally responsible.
Should we call local shelters?
If it were me I'd call
my lawyers and accountants,
because if you don't
find that animal quickly
QN Productions is gonna sue you
for every penny you've got.
Understand?
We do Miss Smith.
Good. Now get going. Find him.
Yes, ma'am, will do.
Go. Go.
[sigh] So, what do we do now,
just close down?
Of course not.
Shoot around the dog until
we get him back.
Mm. And if somehow that
doesn't happen?
You remember Lassie, Jim?
Yeah, sure.
There were actually a dozen
Lassies,
one for each trick.
I'm going back to Hollywood,
and put out a call for a
Jack Russell Terrier.
If we can't have the original,
we'll hire a double.
I don't know,
dog's pretty smart.
You just leave it to me.
My pleasure.
Wow, that was so cool the way
your brother's app
opened the car door.
Yeah, he's gotten real good at
the computer
ever since his accident.
[Murphy] Ah, so it was these
kids who helped me escape.
I kinda figured
it wasn't anybody on set.
[Sydney] I just hope
Murphy's all right.
[Kyle] He sure took of running.
He must not like the movie
business very much.
[Murphy] No,
I didn't realize it showed.
I just hope he's all right,
he's so cute.
[Murphy] That's me.
This is taking forever.
Walking home seems twice as far.
My dad says
that's called expectations.
He gets the same way whenever
he goes to the race track.
He claims coming home is
always long and tougher.
Well, we could always
take the short-cut.
[Murphy whistling]
[gasps]
Oh no.
This is going to be fun.
The zip-line! No way!
That's a death trap.
It would get us home
in record time.
That is if we actually
made it to the bottom.
My mom says
never even go near it.
Come on,
let's take a look anyways.
Okay.
All right.
I don't know about this.
[Majestic music]
[Kyle] Be careful guys.
[Ronnie] Don't worry. I'm good.
[Kyle] This thing isn't
the most structurally-stable
building.
This was closed down years ago.
[Eagle screeching]
[Sydney] Do you think it's safe?
Uh, uh, no way.
I don't know.
Half of me wants to try it out,
but the other half says,
definitely not.
[Kyle] Listen to
the other half, Ronnie.
They closed this thing down for
a good reason.
[Isaac] Hey guys,
check this out.
What is it?
Looks like a bunch of old
helmets and stuff.
You think it's worth anything?
I don't know, might be able to
get something for it online.
Hardly worth the trouble.
But at least we could actually
make the jump safely.
Come on, let's just walk it,
we'll get home soon enough.
Good idea Syd. Why risk it?
You said it, Kyle. Why risk it?
Why risk what?
You just said, "Why risk it?"
No I didn't.
Okay. Okay.
And away we go.
[dogs barking]
Well, I kinda figured finding
him here would be way too easy.
Yeah, but it makes me sad
to see all those
other poor little dog
caged up like that.
Yeah, me too, Joe.
But right now I'm interested in
finding one dog,
the dog that's going to save
our jobs.
You really think the studio's
going to come after us
for all that money
if we don't find him?
You bet they will.
We'll be paying that debt off
for 20 years or more.
What about Leo the driver?
Maybe it was him
that let the mutt escape.
- No, I don't think so.
- How so?
Well, when you were packing up
I gave Leo's limo a thorough
going over.
Find anything?
Uh-huh, the rear door
on the driver's side
was unlocked, and the window
was completely rolled down.
Mm. So?
So, Leo loves
his air conditioning much,
he'd never let that happen.
Then who?
I think someone hacked
the limo's computer
from the outside,
and helped that
little fellow escape.
Seriously?
Hm-hm.
And I have a pretty good idea,
who too.
PETA?
No.
- A rival network maybe?
- No.
So who?
Do you remember those kids
standing off to the side?
No way, the oldest one
couldn't have been more than 10.
My seven-year-old niece knows
more about hacking
than the boys in DC.
They certainly could have
made that happen.
Well, they're long gone by now,
and the dog didn't follow them,
it went the other way.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
I just have this hunch that if
we find those kids,
that's where we're going to
find Murphy.
Come on.
[suspenseful music] [01:23:03.03]
[dog barking]
You get their sent yet, Murph?
[dog barking]
Great, which way?
Good, we got to find
those sisters fast.
We only have a few minutes left
before this whole place
is engulfed in a firestorm.
Hey, did it start yet?
Yeah, it's been on
for 10 minutes.
Where were ya?
I was helping mom
with the dishes.
Want me to rewind it?
Naa.
You didn't miss much,
just the forest fire show.
[Dog barking]
Wait, but I've already
seen that one.
Aren't they supposed to
have a new episode this week?
That's what it said online,
but it's just a rerun.
Dang it!
[coughing] Help! Help!
We're here ladies.
[Murphy] No new episodes
for a while kids, sorry.
- What'd you say?
- What'd you say?
I said, no more new episodes,
maybe, ever.
Who said that?
Yeah, is somebody here?
Get ready, here we go.
It's me guys!
Murphy!
Murphy!
None other. In person.
Star of stage, screen,
and, uh, dog food commercials.
What are you doing here?
I got away
from my keepers today,
I believe thanks to you,
your sister,
and her friends there.
Whoah, how'd you make it here?
Easy-peasy.
I just decided to tag along
on the way home.
But you're talking.
Not talking,
anyone can do that.
I'm thinking,
and I'm sending out the vibes
so both you guys can hear me.
But you never do that on TV.
Believe me,
I got enough problems.
If they knew I could do this,
I'd never get away from them.
Do you mind?
[Panting]
- Oh this is good. This is good.
- Murphy.
It's my favorite thing.
Thanks for helping me get away.
Get away? Get away from who?
The people down at the agency.
They run my show,
book my commercials,
and even plan
my personal appearances.
So you don't like being a star?
Yeah, sounds like fun.
To be perfectly honest,
it's not.
Even with all the
la-la land perks,
I'm missing the one thing
every doggie, big or small,
really needs.
What?
I'm soaking in it.
You're doing it right now,
Sydney, you too, Peter.
A little affection goes
a long way with us animals,
especially ones like me who
haven't had it in a long time.
Wait, so you mean no one
loves you down at studio?
Believe me kids,
that old Hollywood cliche
is right on the money.
It's lonely at the top!
Oh, this guy. Oh God.
Would you look at that.
Every episode, Hercules here
has an excuse
to take of his shirt
and show the six minute abs.
Oh yeah, drink, drink.
What a guy.
So you don't like him?
He's all right I guess,
I just wish he'd
flex those acting chops as
much as he flexes those pecs.
I've been carrying him
for three seasons now!
Wow, you never know sometimes.
Pal, do I have stories...
Oh, will you look at this.
Look at this!
I remember that shot like
it was yesterday.
I almost got my nose singed.
You got that close to the fire?
Believe me, still cleaning soot
out of my ears.
[suspenseful music]
Oh brother,
not this spot again.
[suspenseful music]
Oh, great special effects.
Dog food in space.
[Voiceover] Alamo Pet Chow,
because in space no one
can hear you bark.
Oh my gosh, no dog
worth his salt would
go near that stuff, it reeks!
I thought you like Alamo.
Buddy, that stuff tastes like
it was made at the Alamo.
Speaking of food,
you guys wouldn't have any
extra chow hanging around
for a poor little dog like me,
would you?
I think we have some extra ham
from dinner.
Ham's good.
Never turn down ham!
Syd, he's hungry,
go get him some food,
and some water too.
Wait, what do we tell mom
if she asks?
Tell her anything,
just not about the dog,
she'll make us return him.
I do not want that.
You're right, but we'll have to
tell her at some point.
I know, just not tonight, okay?
Yeah, not tonight.
Mum's the word, okay?
Oh, and Murphy, I think there's
some extra brussels sprouts too.
Brussels sprouts!
Now, if you don't mind Syd,
I'll take a pass on that,
they give me gas.
Oh, okay. Be back in a second.
You don't have to leave anytime
soon do you Murph?
Not tonight for sure.
I'm feeling too much
love around here to,
you know, make a quick exit.
Great. You can stay right here
because I sleep in my wheelchair
since the accident,
so you can have my old bed
if you want.
Oh, I'd be much obliged Pete.
Thanks so much.
You know, I never say, obliged.
Hang on gentlemen,
I'll be right with you.
So what you're telling me is
there's no sign of the dog
anywhere?
No ma'am,
but we have a pretty good idea
of where he might be.
Gentlemen, it's vital that you
locate that animal, and soon.
I've got a room full
of dog food execs
waiting in the screening room
right now
to watch the latest spot.
I don't want to tell them,
or the network,
that their star
is missing in action.
Understand?
Yes ma'am, but I just
wanted to say...
Tell me later,
that's my daughter
on the other line.
Maitlin, is everything
all right?
Mama, I just heard on TV
that Murphy is missing,
it's not true is it?
Why no, Honey.
Of course we know where he is,
just not exactly where.
But the man on the news
said he got away
and no one can find him.
I'm worried, Mama.
Well, don't you be afraid,
I've got people out
looking for Murphy as we speak.
We'll get him back
safe and sound, and soon too.
Is Calomay getting you
ready for school?
Yes, she's with me right here.
[Candace] Let me
speak to her, okay?
She wants to talk to you.
Okay.
Hi Mrs. Smith.
Is it really on the news,
I mean about the dog?
Yes, on every channel.
Darn, I was hoping we could
keep this out of the press
until we got him back.
Well, the news is out there
now I'm afraid.
I know how much she
loves that dog.
So do my little ones.
I mean the whole world
loves him.
So, play things down on the
way to school, understand?
Try to keep her mind off it.
Okay.
Well, I've got to run into
an early meeting.
Tell her not to worry, okay?
I'll be home around 9:00.
Okay, I'll see you then.
She didn't want to
say, goodbye?
Oh no Honey,
she's just really busy,
but she did say not to worry.
I'm sorry, I can't help it.
I'm with you.
Let's get you off to school.
According to insiders,
TV's most famous canine,
Murphy the Wonder Dog,
escaped from a movie set
in canyon country yesterday,
and up until now has eluded,
both his trainer,
security guards,
and the public at large.
A reward of $25,000,
yes you heard right,
has been offered for his
safe return.
[TV Reporter] We now return to
our regularly scheduled program.
Where is he?
I don't know.
When I woke up he was gone.
Do you think he
went outside to...
You know?
No, he's most likely afraid.
Of what?
Oh, because there's
a big reward out
if anyone finds him and brings
him back to the studio.
And if what he told us
is even half true,
I would never want to go
back to that place.
Whoah.
Yeah, it's all over the TV,
and the net.
I just hope he's all right.
Me too.
Come on big brother,
Mr. Kirkland will be here
any minute now,
and you know how he hates
to be kept waiting.
I'm so sick of home school.
I wish I could go back to
normal class
with you and the gang.
Well, why don't you?
Because I can't.
The doctor keeps telling mom
that you have the power
to get up and walk,
so just do it.
Believe me sis,
I try every day,
but my legs still feel numb
like right after the accident.
Well, let me help you.
No. I got it. I got it.
You really got this thing down.
Yeah, you should see my
motorized one.
I can go zero to 60
in under 15 seconds.
Let's keep it under
the speed limit for now, okay?
Okay, sis.
[Engine sounds]
So, how'd she sound?
Well, better than yesterday,
but still plenty angry.
But we're still on the payroll,
right?
Yeah, well, for today buddy,
but who knows what's
going to happen tomorrow
if Murphy doesn't turn up.
Do you think we could somehow
locate the dog today?
We've got to find those kids,
see what they know.
That's not going to be easy.
There are probably
three or four schools
in the area with kids that age,
and who knows if they'll
come forward.
We have to start somewhere.
So how are we going to
recognize them?
They were too far away
from set to ID.
I have an idea.
One of those kids
was doing yo-yo tricks.
There are millions of kids
with yo-yos.
Not anymore, you're living
in the past buddy.
Today's all cellphones
and tablets.
No, no, yo-yos went out with
hula hoops and 8-tracks.
Eight tracks?
What are eight tracks?
You know the, eight...
This seems like
a job for Sherlock Holmes.
Personally I think we need
James Bond.
[suspenseful music]
Hurry Murph, it's gaining.
[barking]
I know, I know, but we can't
let them uncover the secret.
[barking]
[engine revving]
Ah.
[barking]
You've got to
do something, Murph,
the secret is too important.
[barking]
[explosion]
[barking]
You did it Murph, you did it.
[barking]
Now the secret is safe.
That is, the secret formula
the folks at Alamo
use to make every can of their
meaty Pet Chow,
fit for the super dog
in your life.
Right Murph?
[barking]
Well, gentlemen,
what do you think,
it's a winner all right.
I believe my staff put together
quite a spot for you.
Overall it's what we
talked about and agreed to, yes,
but I'm a little worried
about it being so close to
James Bond.
I don't want the people
in England
to give us any trouble.
As I recall Milt,
it was your idea
to do a James Bond
style commercial
in the first place.
Maybe so,
but, but I'm concerned.
Sir, you need to
take a look at this.
I just got this text
from my wife.
What is it?
Just read it, sir.
Can it wait?
No sir, it can't.
It says that Murphy the dog
was missing since this morning,
the whole world
is looking for him,
and there's a big reward
on his head.
Is this true Candy?
Well, he did get away
from us yesterday on set,
but I have people out now
combing the area,
looking to track him down
quickly.
We'll find him.
This is no good.
I know, sir.
If that dog is missing
permanently
the show goes down
and Alamo might as well
go with it.
With all our fan mail
we could lose our core audience.
I can see the reaction already,
if they can't keep track
of their mascot,
how can they make
a decent dog food?
Candy, my apologies,
we'll discuss this ad
when and if they dog is found.
In the meantime,
kill all the spots
this week and next week.
We don't want the public
thinking that Alamo
is insensitive
to the loss of a dog.
Yes sir, I'll keep you
informed of our progress.
You do that.
Gentlemen, let's head back.
And the name is Candace.
Okay you two,
let's get this show on the road,
you're going to be late
for school again.
I won't, I'm already in
class with Mr. Kirkland.
That's right, bud.
Why don't we get to the table,
and get started.
Math first?
You got it.
Okay, sir.
Oh my gosh, I almost forgot...
Later, sis!
Later, bro!
Let me know if you run into
anyone special, okay?
Oh, I will.
What was that all about?
You guys planning something?
Yeah, it's a little
brother sister secret.
Ah, I got you.
I used to do the same thing
with my little sister
when I was your age.
You did?
Yeah, I did.
You know, contrary to
popular belief,
I too was once a young person,
like yourself.
Really?
Yeah, really.
Syd, here are the cookies
I made last night
for the bake sale at school,
and don't you and your friends
go eating all of them
before you even
get to class, okay?
Yes, mom.
And here's $5
so you can buy something
for tonight's desert.
Yes, mom.
Any kind of cake or pie
is all right,
as long as it's not
mince or rhubarb.
Yes, mom.
Okay, off with you now.
- Bye, mom.
- I'll see you after school.
Michael, Peter, can I get
either of you
a little toast or coffee?
- We're good.
- No, I'm fine, thanks.
Good, maybe I can relax a bit
and catch up on the
morning news.
There's only one thing
on the news this morning.
Really? What?
That missing dog
from Hollywood.
He got lost around these parts
yesterday afternoon.
You know, I heard on the radio
this morning,
they upped the reward
to $50,000.
You don't say,
we could really use that cash.
I don't believe it.
Neither do I.
Come on Syd,
quick faking us out.
It's true I tell you.
He jumped through Peter's
bedroom window last night
and just started talking.
Do you mean like
opening his mouth
and actually speaking?
No, more like
we heard his voice in our heads.
Oh, like telepathy.
Yeah, like that.
I saw aliens on TV
do that once,
but they were from
another planet.
Do you think Murphy's some
sort of dog from outer space?
[Murphy] Heck, I'm no alien,
I'm from right here on earth,
born and bred [laughs].
Did you guys hear that?
I think I did.
I don't know.
Hey, Murph, is that you?
You bet it is, actor, writer...
But what I really want to do
is direct.
Wow, it's really him!
I must be dreaming.
Hey, Murph.
Hey Syd. Hey everybody.
My gosh, Syd, you were
telling the truth.
What'd you think?
But he can actually talk?
I don't believe it.
Believe it Isaac.
Believe it,
I've been talking for years.
So how come you don't
talk when you're on TV shows?
Well, for one thing
the scripts stink,
they're not very good,
and for another,
a talking dog might draw
some unnecessary attention
from the government.
They'd immediately want to know
what makes me so special.
So what does make you special?
Yeah, how's it that you
can talk?
Well, how about you give me
a couple of those cookies
you got there
and we'll chat
on the way to school.
Yeah, we'll be late
if we don't hustle.
Here you go, Murph.
Wow, freshly baked. Nice!
I never get cookies
at the kennel.
The kennel?
I saw on Celebrity Insider
that you lived in a big house
in Hollywood.
Big house?
My trainer lives in a big house
in Hollywood Isaac.
Every night after work he
locks in a private little kennel
in the backyard
until the next morning.
Wow, that sounds awful,
doesn't he ever play with you?
Nah, the only time he ever
even speaks to me
is when he wants to teach me
a new trick.
Gee, that stinks.
It kind of does, Ron.
Can I call you Ron?
That whole la-la land bit
get's really old, really fast
let me tell you.
So that's why you took of
when you did.
Exactly.
You kids gave me an opportunity
and I took it!
So you knew it was
that freed you?
Kyle my boy, I'm not just
a pretty face,
I got brains I haven't even
used yet.
No, see, somebody hacked
the Wi-Fi in the limo
to make that lock and door
bit happen.
I just figured it was you four.
Guilty as charged,
but now knowing how
they treated you,
I'm kind of glad I did it.
You're not the only one, guy.
I'm mighty grateful to you all.
Now, come on,
let's get you guys to class
before they make you,
I don't know,
sit in a corner?
Do they still do that,
by the way?
Hardly ever.
You see, I've been locked
away so long I've been...
[Sneeze] I've been
behind the times.
Here we go.
Then he just said,
kill all the commercials
for at least two weeks.
So we've got a missing dog,
and a missing dog
means I've got a problem.
And when I've got a problem
I start to think about
how everyone is replaceable,
so...
I have men out there looking
for him now,
but so far nothing.
And the TV show?
The director is shooting
everything he can
that doesn't include the animal.
But Smith, that's a short
solution
to a tall problem.
What we need to look for
is the worst case scenario.
And that is?
That the dog is gone
and we won't get him back.
And if we don't get him back
the show won't go on.
And if the show doesn't go on
it will curtail
certain life sustaining
revenue streams.
And we could lose millions.
And we could lose millions,
but not, N-O-T,
not if we can find
a quick replacement.
Sir?
Look, Candice, the one thing
I've learned
in my decades in the big time,
surviving in
dog eat dog Hollywood,
is that nothing, no one,
is irreplaceable.
You, him, them, these, those,
nobody.
I don't know, that dog is
loved by millions.
There have been at least
10 guys playing James Bond
over the years, not to mention
Batman, Superman, and X-men.
Put out a call,
get some new dogs in here
this afternoon.
This is Hollywood,
we should be able to find
a couple hundred canines
anxious to be the next
Murphy the Wonder Dog.
Just get on it.
But we can't just...
No buts, just do it.
I'll clear my schedule between
1:00 and 3:00.
I'm sure we can see
the best dogs
Tinseltown has to offer
in under two hours.
I guarantee you we'll find
the next Murphy
by the end of the day.
Yes, sir, I'll get right on it.
I'm counting on you.
The kids of the world
are counting on you.
I'll bring the Alamo.
Funny. Very funny.
So Murphy, you still haven't
told us
how you got the power to talk.
Oh, you don't want to
hear that old story,
it's boring.
No, come on, tell us,
we all want to know.
I do at least.
Yeah, Murph, spill it.
Okay, okay,
you guys like cartoons?
I guess so.
Well then, I, I, I...
Here's a flashback for you,
short, sweet,
and right to the point.
I was a loner, no family,
friends,
just running around the
countryside
picking up scraps wherever
I could.
And one day I hopped
a train to Hollywood.
I'm thinking fun
in the sun, right?
Only thing, it's raining
when I get there.
What's that about?
So I'm thinking, maybe Vegas,
but just then lightning strikes
me on the head.
Twenty-four hours later,
I wake up
in an animal shelter
and I'm suddenly hearing
what everybody's thinking,
and understanding it as well.
So what happened next?
Well, some guy from Universal
comes in looking
to pick up dog extras
for "Beethoven 18."
I never saw that one.
Nobody did, old Beethoven's
contract was up, you see,
and like most movie dogs
he was tired
and just wanted out.
I should have listened
to that lovable St. Bernard.
But no, being a young, impulsive
pup
I made a fool out of myself
doing all these wild tricks
for the trainer on set.
Then what?
Well, next think you know,
I'm doing a pilot
for Doggie 911,
and the rest as they say,
is television history.
I got the number one show
on the tube,
and I hate every minute of it!
That's why I just had to
get away.
You can stay with us
if you want.
There's plenty of room,
and you'd be perfect company
for my brother.
You know, he's housebound
ever since his accident.
I really appreciate your
kindness Syd, I really do,
but you know,
there's a big reward out there
for anyone who finds me,
and you wouldn't want Peter
or your mom
to get accused of dog-napping.
So where will you go?
I'm not sure
about that Isaac.
I'm thinking either Okinawa
or the Belgian Congo.
Never been there.
Neither has anyone else,
I suspect.
Will you be after school
at least?
Sure, I'll wait for ya,
can't leave without
saying goodbye, right?
I'm right, right? Am I right?
Okay then, I'll see you
when class lets out at 3:00.
Righty-o! So long for now kids.
Oh, hey, kiddo,
you wouldn't happen
to have another cookie,
would ya?
Huh, I'm begging.
Look, I'm begging.
Make it last
until end of school, okay?
Most certainly.
Oh, yellow, I love yellow.
Man, have I been missing this?
[Murph mumbling]
Later, Murph.
[barking]
Oh, hey, wait a minute...
Oh, hang on a second,
I buried a bone back here.
Yeah, I got to get the bone,
it's by the tree by the lake.
Tree by the lake.
Bone by the tree by the lake.
[Phone ringing]
Yeah, hello,
Principal Callahan's office.
May I help you?
[Maurice] It's Maurice
in maintenance.
I gotta talk to him.
I'm sorry, you'll have to
call back.
He's on the other line,
and he's got two
Hollywood people waiting.
[Maurice] All right.
Yeah, well, you gotta
ask yourself one question son.
[Voiceover] What?
Do you feel lucky?
[Voiceover] I don't know.
Well, do you punk?
[Voiceover] Please let me
do it over.
Please.
All right then,
come back Monday.
You can take the test over.
Let me see
if I've got this straight.
You two gentlemen
are missing a dog,
and you think one or more
of my student's
may have stolen it?
Is that about right?
Yeah.
But you don't have a shred
of evidence.
You're not sure which kids,
because you weren't
close enough to
make a positive ID.
Yet, the only thing
that you remember positively
is that one of the kids
may have had a yo-yo?
I'd stake my career on it.
- Yeah, me too.
- Yeah.
And now you want me to
give you free run of the school
so you can track down
this alleged kid with a yo-yo?
We'd appreciate that, yeah.
Yeah, if you don't mind, sir.
Yeah, well,
as a matter of fact
I do mind, strenuously.
You dudes get lost,
hear now?
But...
Drop it!
The only yo-yos around here
are you two,
and you're not giving
any of my kids
the third degree,
not without a court order,
and over my dead body.
Understand?
We get it, sir.
I hope you do, both of you.
Bye, Mr. Callahan.
Yeah, we'll, uh, be...
Yeah.
That went well.
Yeah.
Man's got to know
his limitations.
[buzzer]
Yeah, kid.
Hi, sir, I have
your brother Harry
from Frisco on line two.
Tell him I'll call him back.
Yes, sir.
- Hello inspector?
- [Harry] Yeah.
Yes, um, he'll have to
call you back.
So what do we do now?
Go get the car,
park it around the corner
out of sight.
We're going to wait
until school lets out
and then we're going to keep
our eyes peeled for a yo-yo.
Sounds good.
We're going to get those punks.
Okay.
Bone by the tree, by the lake.
By the tree, by the...
Where's the lake, is it over...
Huh, wonder what the heck
that guy's up to.
Tree by the lake,
it's got to be over here.
I don't remember
the picnic table.
Well howdy, pup.
And where did you come from
on such a fine morning?
I'm just hanging around
enjoying the day I guess.
I'm trying to do
the same thing.
You got family around here?
Wish I did. Nope.
I'm kinda, you know, on my own.
You and me both, little fella.
You and me both.
Jonathan. Jonathan Buchanan
at your service, laddie.
Nice to meet you Jonathan,
they call me Murphy.
Must be kind of hard, you know,
playing checkers there
all by yourself.
[sighs] That it is. That it is.
Do you mind?
No, help yourself.
Well now, despite you being
a talking dog and all,
that certainly does call
for a response.
Mm, Jonathan, I can see
by your maneuvering
you're fairly astute
at this game.
Well, I ought to be,
been playing for years.
Alone, like this?
[Laughs] No silly.
Always played checkers
every day
with my friend, Tommy McGee.
Tommy didn't make it here
today I guess?
No, afraid he won't be
coming along.
I get it. Sorry.
Oh, don't be.
Now that I'm conversing
with a checker playing dog
I guess it won't be long
before I'm following
in his footsteps.
[barking]
Hey, you shouldn't
talk like that,
you're a human,
you still have time left.
Us dogs, we only have
15 years or so to pack
a lifetime into,
and let me tell you something,
it ain't easy.
Well, you certainly have some
food for though there, Murphy.
I'll be gnawing on
what you said.
It makes a lot of sense.
It sure does.
There, now, king me!
[singing]
Well, looks like you're
winnin' at this game.
How about two out of three.
Sure, what time is it?
I've got five 'till one.
Great, I'm good 'till 3:00.
Ready?
Let's play.
Quite a surprise, hey Smith?
I told you this is Hollywood,
and trained mutts
are a dime a dozen.
I did the best I could
on short notice,
emailed or called every
dog agent in the book.
- Called Doggone Good?
- Yup
- Doggie Do.
- Uh-huh.
Diggie-Dog?
Of course, at the top
of the list,
but there's at least
50 in Hollywood alone.
- I told you.
- You told me.
I told you that I told you?
You did.
- I did tell you.
- I know.
and I'm still waiting on
a call back from Benji's people.
Who's he represented by?
Bicker, Greedy, and Rich?
William Morris.
Oh, big time big shots.
They don't return calls.
So, who's up first?
That would be Roley-Poley.
Funny, good name
for a dog.
That's the owner's name, Boss.
The dog is Mr. Jakes.
Jakes, [laughs] well, okay,
well, bring them both in.
Let's get this show on the road.
Marie, we're ready.
Lie down.
[whining]
Play dead.
Stay.
[Growling]
Can we use this dog,
because this is a smart dog?
Lucky, sit. Good boy. Up.
Come on Willie, speak.
Barry Manilow has a beagle,
a lot of people have beagles.
Come on puppy, speak.
Paw.
- No, Ninny.
- This way.
[Girl]Ninny. -This way.
Stay this way.
Move.
Speak, Willie.
[Grunting]
Spikey, roll over baby.
Come on, roll over. No.
Figaro, Figaro,
Figaro, Figaro. Say it.
Figaro, Figaro, come on,
do it, do it.
- [squeaking]
- Go get it.
[Growling]
Okay.
Lookie up, lookie down.
Lookie up, lookie down.
Hello, this is my dog Teddie,
isn't she sweet?
Yes, she's so sweet.
She's always there
when I wake up in the morning,
isn't that great?
Well you know, she can dance,
she can roll over,
she can sing...
Oh, did anybody bring a piano?
[Yawning]
I wish I was a pair of claws
scuttling across the flause
of silent seas.
Thank you.
Now wag your tail, Abby.
I think we've got our dog.
Look, she's pointing.
Beautiful, Sophie.
Let's try, speak, Abby. No?
I think she'll do well
with this.
I think she's going to be...
She was the smartest circus dog,
and everybody in the circus
loves Sophie.
Thank you so much for brining,
Howdy into see us.
I, I'm sorry, I think Howdy's
just a little nervous today.
Yeah, it's okay,
I understand.
I have those days myself,
all the time actually.
We will let you know.
Thank you.
Thank you from the both of us.
Come on. Help.
[glass breaking]
Boy, I can't tell you how nice
it is to finally
say goodbye to Howdy.
So, who do you like?
More like, who didn't I hate?
There was some cute ones.
Oh, Candace please,
they were dumb as a brick,
round as bowling ball.
Some cute ones, but no one,
no one
holds a candle to Murphy.
So what do we do?
Not we, you.
I want you to get down
to the area
that Murphy got loose
and set up a command post.
I'm putting you in charge of
getting that dog back.
You understand?
But Quinn, I can't just go off
for who-knows-how-long
and leave Maitlin high and dry.
Okay, fine. Bring her along.
I couldn't do that.
Why not?
Next week is spring break.
I'm sure she'd like a little
mini-vacation with mama.
It'll give you some
bonding time.
Well, maybe.
[school bell ringing]
[kids playing]
You see anything?
Not so far.
Only glad my childhood
didn't consist
solely of texting on a
cellphone.
It's a whole new generation
out there, Joe.
It's not like when we grew up.
These kids don't know
what they're missing.
Nobody talks anymore.
At least the kid with the yo-yos
keeping it real.
You may have something
there, pal.
What about you, anything?
No, I'm just getting hungry
watching all those kids
scarf down those deserts.
No yo-yo?
No yo-yo yet.
Hey guys, how was school?
Don't answer that.
But check this out, it's called
"Rocking the cradle."
You're walking my
last nerve, Ron.
It's a good thing
Principal Callahan
didn't catch you with that
in-between classes.
Yeah, he would've grabbed
it for sure.
I was careful.
He almost took my iPad
in the library once,
but I told him it I was using it
to look up a history question.
Yeah, what were you
really doing?
Playing "Space Duel."
[Isaac] Did you get
anything good
at the bake sale?
Sure did.
A dozen cream-filled cupcakes.
You?
Four blueberry pies.
My dad loves them.
I got you both beat.
How big guy?
A double lemon
merengue special.
I got a bunch of Miss Miller's
chocolate eclairs for Peter.
He loved them last year.
So where's Murphy?
You don't think he took
off or anything?
No, he promised
to stick around.
Someone could have grabbed him,
like the dog catcher
or the police.
Oh, I hope not.
Hey, do I smell
chocolate or something?
[Kids] Murphy!
We thought someone might
have recognized you.
Don't you worry about me,
I'm the master of disguise.
Look what I found
on the playground.
Make me look smart?
Nope, not making it.
Sorry, Murph, not cutting it.
That's funny,
it worked for Clark Kent.
Mm, I was thinking...
Oh, something on my nose.
Oh, there go my glasses.
Joe, check it out,
yo-yo 2 o'clock.
Bingo, we got 'em,
those pesky kids and the pooch.
Let's get the little guy
and go home.
Not so fast, buddy.
We set foot on school property
that principle
will have the police
down around our necks
before we know it.
What do we do?
Let's pull around the back,
find a side road and wait.
Those kids will walk
right into our hands.
We won't have to do a thing.
Good idea.
[Engine starting]
So Murph, what'd you
do all day?
Nothing much,
caught some rays,
played a few games of checkers.
Sounds fun.
I'll tell you,
it's a dog's life, kiddo.
A dog's life!
Hey, look over there.
I think they're following us.
Yeah, they've been behind us
for a few minutes now.
It's probably nothing.
Sorry to inform you, Ron,
but it's something,
something bad.
I recognize that car.
Those are the two security
guys assigned to bring me back.
If I didn't know better
I'd say those kids just made us.
What do we do?
Well, we just pretend
everything's okay, la, la, la.
But get ready to run
when I tell ya,
maybe we can get away
from them if we run fast enough.
We can never outrun adults.
Especially carrying all these
cupcakes, pies, and stuff.
Wait, I have an idea.
What?
If they bolt get ready to run.
This car suspension won't
make it over that rough terrain.
Ready when you are, buddy.
The zip-line,
it's just right up ahead.
We can make a run for it,
get on, and maybe escape.
Sounds good.
The helmets are over there
waiting for us.
Well, I'm game.
Me too, I guess.
What about you Murph?
Mm, that zip-line looks scary.
You're an action star, right?
So they tell meeee, yeah!
Then you're going to love it.
Ready guys?
- Let's do it.
- And let's do it now.
That car is getting closer.
Hey, on my count, 3, 2, 1, go!
We're out of here.
Looks like you were right.
Let's get 'em!
[grunting]
[panting]
Come on. Come on.
Hey, hey, wait for me!
There!
[Panting]
[Sydney] Come on guys,
we're almost there.
[Panting]
Shortcut!
Oh my gosh, it's the lake!
Guy, not too fast
Talk about a bridge
over troubled water.
[Sydney] Come on guys,
be careful.
Hey, this is me hesitating.
Come on, Murphy! Come one!
I can do it. I can't do it.
I can do it. I can't do it.
[Kids yelling]
I can do it.
Come on, Murphy. Come on!
Oh, come on, let's do it!
This is a little bit...
[Kids celebrating]
[Sydney] Here, hold this.
What do you think?
What do you think?
That was good right?
Anybody got a parachute?
All right, who's first?
Yeah, which one of
you guys is first?
Okay. Okay, let me be the
first to say,
we should reconsider this.
Come on. Sit down.
Think about it.
Maybe have a cookie?
We don't have time,
and besides, those guys
will be here any minute now.
Anyone?
Fine, I'll go first,
but Murphy,
you're coming with me.
You know, Syd,
after due consideration
maybe I'll just sit
this one out.
Sorry, Murph,
we are out of here.
- Bonsai!
- Alamo!
Come on! It's fun!
If she can do it,
then we can do it!
Hey, they're coming!
[gasping]
I'm going.
So am I.
Hey, wait for me.
Geronimo.
Hey!
Help!
Why me?!
This is crazy!
They're coming!
[Ronnie] This is so cool!
[Kids] Woo!
This is one nutty ride!
[Sydney] Keep going!
Keep going!
So this is what trees look like
from the top...
What now?
I guess follow 'em?
Uh, I don't know
about this, Fred.
Well don't think about it.
Come on, we got to
catch that dog.
I, I, I suppose.
All right.
Don't think about it,
just do it.
We got to catch that dog.
I, I suppose.
Keep calm, buddy.
I'll be right behind you.
[screaming]
All right Mr. Murphy,
you better watch out
because here I come!
[screaming]
Whoah!
Ahhhh.
[Isaac] Please not again.
Please! Please!
[Screaming]
Whoah!
Whoah!
Out of the way!
[screaming]
I should have got
life insurance.
Oh, at least there's a light
at the end of this tunnel.
Th ere she is! Light!
[screaming]
Does this thing
have any brakes?
I don't think so.
Too bad, gravity stinks!
[Joe] Is this ever
going to end?
[screaming]
Watch this!
[yelling]
[laughter]
You cut that out,
you kids!
You just stop that!
[gasp]
[laughter]
[groaning]
[yelling]
Ah, I'm going to
get you kids!
[laughter]
What? No! No! No.
No, don't do it! No!
[laughter]
No! No! No!
Not the blueberry!
No!
[groans]
[bees buzzing]
Get the nest! Get the nest!
[bees buzzing]
[laughter]
[bees buzzing]
No! No!
[screaming]
[laughter]
[screaming]
[laughter]
It's in my nose!
[laughter]
All right, get ready!
[groans]
Well, that was fun,
can we do it again?
[barking]
Not now, we got to
stop those men
from getting you!
How do we do that?
They're right behind us.
Watch this!
Syd, what you doing?
Help me with this!
[Groaning]
No! No! No! No!
[barking]
No, no, that can't happen!
They're coming!
This is a test with water!
[Kids] Pull. It's going!
Can I help?
[Kids] Yes!
[screaming]
[splashing]
Woo.
[grunting]
[laughter]
They won't get ya
now Murphy!
[barks]
[Isaac] At least not today.
[barks]
Come on, let's get out of here
before they get up on shore.
Can't wait to tell Peter
about this one.
Race you home!
[splashing]
Are you okay?
Do I look okay?
This is... I'm sorry, was,
my best suit.
And now my face
is on fire
from all those hornet stings.
I'm right there
with you, buddy.
Those kids really got the
best of us.
They're long gone by now.
We're never going to catch them
or the dog.
Maybe not, or maybe...
Got something?
Save for Sydney Harris,
116 Hacienda Way.
[laughter]
Perfect!
We'll pay her a little visit
first thing in the morning.
[laughter]
Oh, my cheek.
Oh, the other cheek.
All right, I think that's about
enough for today,
why don't we pick it up again
Monday.
Thank Mr. Kirkland.
Absolutely.
You know, it's a real pleasure
for me to teach somebody
like you with such an open mind,
it really is.
All right, why don't I
help you into your room.
No, I got it.
All right.
You're getting pretty good
with that rig.
Yeah, you should see
my motorized one.
I can go 0 to 60 in under 15
second.
Really? Wow!
Well, you better keep it under
25 in the house,
you don't want to put
any holes in these walls, right?
Yeah. See ya.
All right, see ya Monday.
How's he doing?
Academically, great.
No, I mean...
I know. I know.
I've tried to broach the subject
with him a couple
different times.
He just keeps saying
the same thing.
He can't do it.
Hey, wait a minute here.
Can't, or won't?
Honestly, I don't know.
His physical therapist
says there's nothing
radically wrong with his legs,
maybe just weakness
since the accident.
Poor kid.
they think more than likely
it's guilt keeping him
confined to that chair.
Guilt? I don't understand.
Guilt for not being able
to save his father
right after the accident.
[Groans]
Peter was thrown free,
John unfortunately wasn't.
It's been three years now
and he still hasn't
been able to bounce back.
Well, I hope he does soon,
because if he doesn't
his legs are going to
start to atrophy.
I pray you're right Michael.
To be honest with you,
my late husband's accident
insurance policy
will be running out shortly.
Without money coming in
we won't be able
to afford doctor visits,
or even you for that matter.
Oh, hey, hey, hey,
no, no, no.
Look, I've grown too
close to Pete and to you
to ever let money get in the way
of what I'm trying to do here,
so as far as I'm concerned,
you don't have to worry
about me, okay?
Michael, I just want him
to be well again.
I got to do something
about this.
How much longer, Mama?
Oh, about an hour or so.
It's nice around here,
reminds me
of when you and Dad used to
take vacations
when I was little.
Once upon a time.
Is this where they
film the show?
Most episodes.
The network loves the look.
Maybe that's why
Murphy ran away.
If I were a dog,
I'd love living here.
It's so open and peaceful.
Murphy lives in Hollywood,
Honey.
He's treated very well there,
he's got the best of everything.
Does he live in a big house
like we do?
A big private kennel, actually,
almost as big as
grandma's house in Maine.
Is there someone there
who really loves him?
Well, there are people there
who help him
with whatever he needs.
I guess that's okay,
but not really
if there's no one there
who truly cares.
Do you care, Mama?
Mama, I asked
if you care,
about Murphy I mean.
Of course I do, Honey.
Of course I do.
Not just because
of your job, right?
[phone ringing]
Yes?
Ma'am, we have a possible
address on the missing dog.
Call the police, go to it,
do your job.
Yeah, well, ma'am,
it's not that easy.
You see, we have reason
to believe
that the dog is in the
hands of some kids.
So?
Well, so it's getting
dark soon.
If we go out there loaded
for bear,
half a dozen black and whites,
those kids will take that dog
so deep into the woods
we may never get him back.
Then what do you suggest?
Wait until morning.
Joe and I will drive out there
real friendly like,
pay them a visit.
It's Saturday morning
and they won't be expecting us,
the parents and the kids
will be home,
we'll certainly get that dog
back in good order.
Okay.
Where are you staying?
Where at the
Horsey Manor Motel
off the 14 near Fairvale.
Go book a room for
my daughter and myself,
we'll be there in less
than a half.
Will do, ma'am.
She coming here?
With her kid!
Oh, perfect!
What was I supposed to do?
I'll go book them a room.
One far away from ours,
if you don't mind.
Yeah, will do.
[groans]
Can I come with you
tomorrow, Mama?
Without a babysitter
I guess I have no choice,
but why so much interest
in Murphy?
- I want to see who he picked.
- Picked? I don't understand.
I read in the book once,
that dogs choose their owners,
not the other way around.
And since Murphy really had
no one who loved him
he must have chosen
someone after he got away.
I'd like to see who.
Let's hope we get the chance.
I can't believe we got away.
Yeah, that zip-line seemed
a bit dangerous.
Dangerous?
That's like calling the ocean
a bit moist.
So now what?
Well, we got to find a place
to hide Murph.
Oh no, kiddo.
As much as I'd love
to stick around
I'm going to have to move on.
- No.
- But we don't want you to.
Look, guys, you've done
a lot for me already
and I really appreciate it,
but these studio people
are playing hardball now
and I can't risk either of you
getting hurt.
But...
No buts, we got to say our
goodbyes now,
because tomorrow morning
first thing
I'm packing my stuff
and hitting the road.
But you don't have any stuff.
Even better.
Look, there's got to be
another way.
Yeah, really.
I have an idea.
I do too.
Mom.
But it would mean telling
her about Murphy.
Hey, we should have told
her already.
You're right, hopefully.
Murph, can you stay here
for a sec?
Sure, you guys go ahead,
just leave the TV on.
There's a Scooby-Doo marathon
on the retro channel.
Okay, but just don't move,
okay?
I won't.
Promise?
Hey, I'm a dog, we don't lie,
unless we're laying around.
Get it?
You also don't talk.
Well, we'll see you
in a bit Murph.
I love these kids.
Hey mom, how's it going?
Yeah, what you doing?
Oh, kiddos, to be
quite honest with you,
I'm figuring who
I have to pay now
and who I can stall
for a couple of weeks.
Is our money really that low?
Mm, let's just say
it's a bit tight.
I'm sorry, you can have
the money from my
piggy bank if you want.
Mine too.
I love you guys for offering,
but it hasn't come to that
quite yet.
Now, what brings both you
out here at once?
Something must be up.
They shut the cable off again?
No, that's fine.
We just wanted to ask you
a question.
I'm honored.
What can I do for you?
You know that dog
who went missing
and is also on TV?
Yeah, Murphy?
He's in all the headlines.
Yeah, well, he's, um,
he's also in my bedroom.
[laughs] What? You're joking.
We're not.
You didn't dog-nap him
did you?
Not exactly, he just kind of
followed me home from the set
a couple days ago.
Well, Syd, we have to
return him to his
rightful owners immediately.
Everyone's looking for him.
But his rightful owners
don't love him.
Yeah, they treat him awful.
They keep him locked
up in a cage,
don't play with him,
and the worst of all
they don't even pet him.
And just how do you
know all of this.
[Kids] He told us.
He told you?
Yeah, he talks.
Yeah, really, truly.
You mean like this?
No, no, like this!
[gasps]
This is a game changer
am I right?
Yeah mom, like that.
Oh, I, uh, I hope I didn't
interrupt anything important,
and if I did, I'm sorry.
A, a talking dog.
A thinking dog. Even better.
My goodness, I could see
how you kids
could easily fall in love,
he's adorable.
Thanks, Gwen.
Next to loyalty,
adorableness is
one of my finest qualities.
Look at this.
[barks]
So mom, we still have that
question.
What's that honey?
- What do we do?
- Can we keep him?
Oh, as much as I'd like to,
I'm afraid not Syd,
he just doesn't belong to us.
Somehow I knew
this was going to happen.
Darn it!
Now, you close your eyes
and get some sleep.
You've had a really long day.
Okay, Mama.
[kissing]
Tomorrow we'll see if
we can get Murphy back, okay?
Okay. Good night.
[Phone ringing]
This is Smith.
Yeah, hi, this is Sheriff Evans
over at the Sherriff's Office.
Two of your men dropped by
yesterday and
alerted me to your
missing dog problem.
That's right.
Well, this is the
contact number they gave me,
and I think I've got good news.
Yes?
Yeah, I got a call from a woman
over Hacienda Ridge
name of Gwen Harris.
Go on.
Well, her kids found your dog
and they want to return it.
That's wonderful Sherriff.
If you want to go over there
tonight
I can send a black and white
to guide you in.
When the sun goes down
it gets dark pretty fast
and you can miss
one of those signs.
On second thought Sherriff,
I think this can wait
until tomorrow.
Well, I think that's a wise
decision.
And I'll tell you what,
right around 9 o'clock
I'll come over and escort
you over there myself.
And maybe I'll get a selfie
with him?
Who?
Murphy, of course.
Surely, that would be fine.
See you then.
[beep]
[peaceful string music]
Do you care mama?
Do you care? Do you care?
[panting]
This isn't fair,
we're just giving
him back to the people who
want to exploit him for money.
It's true.
I'll second that.
You got a second?
Kids, we discussed
this a dozen times last night
before I called the Sherriff.
Hiding Murphy here is
just plain wrong,
and what have I always
taught you?
To do the right thing,
no matter what.
Correct.
Yeah, but how do we know
if we're doing the right thing?
Well, whatever you do,
please don't tell them
I can talk.
Please, I'm begging you.
Don't worry Murph,
your secret is safe with us,
right kids?
We don't want to come off
like nut-jobs.
Yeah, I'm not saying anything.
Me neither.
Thanks a million guys.
I've got enough problems
as it is,
ticks, and fleas, you know...
It's them.
Hey Pete, you're not thinking
what I think
you're thinking, are you?
Sh, quiet Murph.
That's what I thought.
Stay here guys.
[knocking]
Uh-oh.
Miss Harris?
Oh, it's Gwen, welcome.
I'm Candace Smith.
My daughter Maitlin.
Our security team Fred and Joe,
and of course
you know Sherrif Evans.
Miss Harris, ma'am.
Sherrif.
Oh, please come in.
This is my daughter Sydney.
Hello.
Ah, the one who found Murphy.
Congratulations,
you've got quite a reward
coming to you, sweetheart.
And my son Peter.
Where's Peter?
He's gone, and so is Murphy.
Not again!
[barking]
I know that bark,
it's coming from outside.
The dog got away.
[Engine roaring]
There he goes!
Peter, come back!
That's a heck
of a chair.
How many miles does he
get to the gallon?
Come on, we can catch up.
Mama, that may be him.
- Who?
- The boy Murphy picked.
We'll see later,
we got to get to him first.
[Engines revving]
And just where are we
headed young man?
Anywhere away from them,
I'm not letting them get you.
I appreciate the thought Pete,
I really do,
but they've got cars
and all we've got is...
Whoah, what you got
under the hood there kid?
That kid could show
our stuntman a few tricks.
No kidding!
Slow down, you might hit him.
I got it covered.
Why did you do this?
Mama, I don't understand
why you did this.
Mama, he could get hurt.
That's why we got to catch
him fast
before anything bad happens.
Step on it Sherrif, will you?
You better pull over kid,
I think you're getting a ticket.
Not yet I'm not.
Hey, where do you think
you're going?
Cross-country, they won't
be able to follow.
Pete, don't do it!
I'll go back and face the music.
This is too dangerous!
No, I'm not giving up yet.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
[Engine revving]
Hey, and I thought the zip-line
was bad!
Yikes!
Don't worry Murph,
I've got this.
Why are you slowing down?
Follow him!
Sorry ma'am, it sounds like
we broke an axel or worse,
we're going to have to try
and follow them on foot.
You stay here honey,
mommy will be right back.
I'm coming, I want to see.
Okay. Be careful. Don't trip.
I will.
Let's go, they'll catch him.
That speed demon's probably
in the next county by now.
It's impossible, there's a
big drop-off
where the railroad tracks
come through.
He would not be able to make it.
Railroad?
Gentleman please,
I need your help.
You ever ride piggy-back, girl?
Sure, when I was younger.
You wanna hop on
one last time?
Sure.
I think we lost 'em!
Check that. I think we lost us!
Don't worry, Murph.
I know exactly where we are.
[panting]
Peter! Peter! Peter!
[train whistle]
That's the 4:15
and it's never late.
Run!
Whoah, I didn't see
that coming.
Murphy? Murphy?
Where are you?
[train whistle]
How much further
to the tracks?
Just up ahead.
All I see are trees up ahead.
Come on, we got to
catch that dog.
Murphy, you got to
get off the tracks,
the train's coming.
Murphy! Please!
Can you hear me?
Murphy!
You know, I think I can
run faster than you.
I bet you can.
[Train whistle]
[footsteps]
Oh, thanks a million, Pete.
It's a miracle!
A doggone miracle!
That, and then some!
Well, I guess we should
go down there
and secure the dog
for the trip back.
Wait, just wait.
I've got a better idea.
What's that, mama?
[barking]
[Voiceover] Doggie 911.
A QN Production.
Staring Murphy
the Wonder Dog,
and Dirk Stevens.
Murphy, owned and trained
by Peter and Sydney Harris.
Tonight's episode,
"A New Beginning."
Hey guys, welcome
to the end credits.
Look what we've got for ya.
Lay down. Lay down.
- Hire the girls, skip the dog.
- Roll over.
I am Murphy, I am on TV
I have a...
Roll over.
Here we go,
this is one
of our executive producers.
He's a lot better with money
than he is with dogs.
- Lay down.
- See what I mean?
Good. Speak. Speak.
No, don't speak.
[barking]
That's how you speak, like that.
...all you boys and girls
Always remember,
between you and me
I am a pro...
Well, anyway,
[Murphy gasps]
I would like to tell you...
Mom?
That she is an angel.
Is this a Golden Girl's reboot?
- Wait. Wait. Wait.
- This is embarrassing.
Talk, talk now.
I can't watch this.
Doggone Hollywood, Hollywood
[Squeaking]
See this? You can see it?
He doesn't see it.
He doesn't see it.
He won't see it.
He's looking at the microphone.
Get me out of here!
Doggone Hollywood, Hollywood
Now, this looks promising.
Somebody brought a bear.
Abby, breath.
That's a bear!
Run for your life!
Taking my chances,
running away
Away from those who used...
Once upon a
midnight dreary...
I can see your lips moving!
Where's the hook?
Now that I'm gone
they're all after me
I love the trees...
And now, she would
like to roll over for ya.
There is no time,
better start running
I can't do this anymore.
Are you ready, just follow me
Don't be afraid,
just close your eyes and slide
Okay fellas, Sophie
grew up in a circus.
She thinks she's an elephant
because she used to
hang around the elephants,
and they loved her!
They squirted her with water
with their trunks,
and she loved on all
the other animals.
And one time we lost
an animal,
a little tiger ran into
the forest.
Sophie tracked it down
because she's a Beagle
and she's got a great nose.
Scottie! Beam me out of here!
Now!
All right, I got to get out!
Doggone Hollywood, Hollywood