A Family Reunion Christmas (2019) Movie Script

[M'Dear scats] A Netflix Original
I want y'all to meet my family
They're coming down south
To stay with me
- Big Moz!
- Do you love me?
- Yep
- I'm Cocoa
Jade in the house
I got a lot to say
I'm a big sis, can't-miss renegade
-Call me Shaka now
- Hey
- I'm the, I'm the chief rocker now
- Hey
Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi
That's me
- Little mommy, I'm Ami
- Hey
Singing loud and having fun
It's Family Reunion
[M'Dear laughs]
[M'Dear] Family Reunion was filmed
in front of a live studio audience.
-Happy holidays, family!
-[all] Hey!
Now, this is my kind of Christmas.
-Celebrating with my grandkids.
-[Jade laughs]
That's all I ask for! [laughs]
Oh, holy night...
M'Dear, you're in a good mood.
Oh, yes, this is my favorite
time of the year.
Plus, my sister Dot is coming soon.
I'm surprised to hear you're excited,
especially since you haven't spoken
in three years.
Yeah, I still remember
when she opened for Patti LaBelle.
She was almost as good as Patti.
Patti is scared of Dot's voice.
That's why she started
making all them pies,
in case she needed something
to fall back on.
M'Dear, why haven't you spoken to Aunt Dot
in over three years?
Sweet baby,
stay out of grown folk business.
-[Jade scoffs]
M'Dear and Aunt Dot are notorious
for not speaking
and then getting back together
as if nothing ever happened.
They're like New Edition.
Got it.
So, which one of them was Bobby Brown?
Dot. She had that funny haircut
and everything.
don't be cruel.
That's my prerogative.
[both laughing]
-[all yell excitedly]
-Aunt Dot!
[Dot laughs]
Woo! Here I am!
Naughty but nice.
We're out of sight
We're dynamite
So sit right back
Let's enjoy the ride
We want you all to know
You're gonna enjoy the show!
We are the Williams...
The Fabulous...
You know, y'all are as good
as Fifth Harmony.
Who dat?
Anything like Sister Sledge?
Who dat?
Why don't you ladies headline
this year's Christmas Pageant?
Ooh, I got too much cooking to do.
Oh, and I'm so...
[aggressively clears throat] hoarse.
[laughs] Uh, I'm on vocal rest.
I just booked a gig
with Smokey for New Years.
No problem,
I'll just ask the Huell Sisters to sing.
-[unintelligible protesting]
[Dot] No, you don't! You crazy!
-[Jade laughs]
-What's wrong with the Huell Sisters?
Ooh, we can't stand them.
They cheated us out of winning
the city talent show in '64.
Well, how'd they cheat?
They pulled a fast one by switching
our sweet tea with dandelion tea.
I don't get it.
-Dandelion tea is a natural laxative.
-[Dot] Mm-hmm.
Tell me it kicked in
before you got onstage.
Ooh, I wish I could.
Ooh, those folks had
quite a show that night.
-We doing the pageant, Jeb!
-Oh, come on.
Hey, you mentioned the Huell Sisters
on purpose, huh?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Mommy, do you think Santa
wants cookies or cake?
I don't see any cake mix.
He wants cookies, sweetie.
Oh, Ami.
Sweet, little, innocent Ami.
I used to be gullible like you
before I grew up.
Hey, old man.
I fixed your night light.
Didn't Santa give that to you
last Christmas?
Yeah, Santa gave it to me.
-Are you saying Santa's not real?
He is not saying that.
Come on!
We all know Santa isn't the one
who's buying all those gifts.
I know!
His magical elves make the gifts.
[whispers] If you keep this up,
you're not getting any gifts.
Ami, Santa is as real as the hair
on your mother's head.
Her lashes.
Her desire to kill me right now.
I thought so. Mazzi's a liar and wrong.
-You'll believe anything.
-I will not!
Did you know that Jade flew home
from school yesterday?
Ooh, Jade, can you teach me how to fly?
[melody of "Deck the Halls" plays]
Hey, Grandpa, need any help?
As a matter of fact, I do.
-[Jade sighs]
-We weren't really asking.
We were just trying to be polite.
Get your narrow behinds over here
and help me get these groceries
to the shelter.
Wait a minute.
Wasn't that sweater in the giveaway pile?
Oh, yeah. [chuckles] I almost forgot
how cute it looked on me.
It's for the homeless.
But it has my name on it.
Nobody's gonna want to wear this,
unless their name is Jade.
When it's 30 degrees outside
and you're homeless,
fashion goes out the window.
[laughs] How can you be homeless
and have a window?
Hey, hey, hey!
Did you just throw
a perfectly good apple away?
I bit it. It was far from perfect.
You two are wasteful.
You only care about yourselves.
You don't know what it's like
to go without.
[scoffs] That's where you're wrong,
I know the struggle.
You know, my hair diffuser broke,
and it took two weeks
for a new one to arrive from Japan.
Two weeks.
That's it.
I want to teach you two a lesson.
You're going to spend the night
in the backyard roughing it.
Whoa. [slight chuckle]
-What do you mean "roughing it"?
-What do you mean "you two"?
Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
'Tis the season to be jolly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Don we now our gay apparel
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
[coughs] Ooh!
-Oh, Amelia, your pipes are rusty.
-[M'Dear] Mmm.
I beg your pardon?
My voice is on point.
And that point is piercing my eardrums.
[both laugh]
Oh! Let me stop playing with Amelia
before her sensitive butt
stops talking to me...
again! [laughs]
I am not sensitive,
and when I stop talking to you,
it's for a good reason.
Oh, I don't know about that.
I remember when you stopped
talking to her for two years
'cause she borrowed your pearl earrings.
She stole my earrings.
-I borrowed them.
Did you ask me to wear them?
-Stole 'em.
Okay, okay. Oh, remember the time you...
what, stopped speaking to me
for about a year-and-a-half
because I used some brochure
to kill a fly.
That was not a brochure.
That was Ernestine Brown's
funeral program.
Girl, you didn't even like Ernestine.
But I loved her program!
She looked like a young Cicely Tyson.
After all those cigarettes,
she looked like an old Mike Tyson.
Oh, well, uh, what about that time,
what, about-- about three years ago,
you stopped speaking to me
over some funky bingo card.
It was not just a bingo card,
it was my bingo card,
-and you won ten big ones with it.
-[Maybelle gasps]
Whoa, whoa, nobody told me that.
Girl, you won $10,000
off Amelia's bingo card?
No, ten dollars.
Y'all stopped talking over ten dollars?
Of course not. That would be petty.
I stopped talking to her
'cause she wouldn't give me
the two dollars I paid for the card.
[all laugh]
Ahh! [laughs]
When you say it out loud,
it does seem kind of silly.
[whispers] Even if you whisper it,
it's still silly.
[all laugh]
You guys have got to do better.
Oh, yeah, you right.
Oh, you know what?
Hey, Amelia.
For the record, here.
Oh, no, I couldn't.
[laughs] Yeah, take it.
-No more--
-I'll take it.
I'm sick of being in the middle of you two
my whole life.
I'll tell you what, I want to be buried
way across the cemetery
so I can finally get some rest.
Fine, we'll put you with your ex-husbands.
[Dot laughs]
Ooh, well, now, should we put her
between Curly and Larry, or Larry and Moe?
That's just mean.
I prefer Curly and Moe.
[Dot laughs]
[imitating Curly] Soitenly!
[M'Dear and Dot laugh]
[jackhammer sound]
Mazzi really wants
that Meganoid-3000 robot,
but it's sold out everywhere.
[Moz sighs]
Oh! Relax, Cocoa.
Our little surprise is here.
This will totally convince him.
Yo! You guys order a Santa?
What is he waiting for?
I don't-- I-I don't know.
Uh, is-- is everything okay, Santa?
I'm stuck!
He's not Santa.
-See, I told you he wasn't real.
-You're a fraud!
[Shaka sighs] I'm really proud of us.
I know, right?
We slayed the roughing it game.
What's all this?
Our tent.
We roughed it out here last night,
just like you said.
[toaster dings]
Our waffles are ready.
You kids have clearly misunderstood
the spirit of this exercise.
Do you really think homeless people
have all these luxuries?
Well, you can't be sure that they don't.
Well, I can.
You can keep this tent,
but everything else
goes back in the house.
Wait, everything?
Everything, except you two.
You're gonna stay out here another night.
But it'll be really hard to stay out here
without all of our stuff.
Now you're getting it.
Oh, oh, we need that.
You're homeless.
Get creative.
That's just nasty.
Hoo, ooh, ooh
Hoo, ooh, ooh
Hoo, ooh, ooh
Wow. Were you guys this good
back in the day?
Oh, girl. We were more supreme
than the Supremes.
More marvelous than the Marvelettes.
-Spicier than the Spice Girls.
-[Maybelle] Hello!
So, what happened?
-[Maybelle] Hmm.
-Yeah, Dot, tell her what happened.
We were invited to open
for Smokey Robinson.
We, as in a group.
Uh, go ahead.
Well, um, Amelia and Maybelle,
well, they... they were busy, so...
And I went at it alone.
And from that,
I was offered a solo contract.
I saw an opportunity and I took it.
You took it 'cause you're selfish.
Just because I looked out for myself,
it doesn't make me selfish.
That's kind of the definition.
Well, what was I supposed to do?
Amelia, she was pregnant,
she was on bed rest,
and Maybelle, well, she was already
on her second marriage.
I was not!
Oh, okay. Yes, I was.
Well, it's a shame,
but groups break up all of the time.
Sure, feelings, they hurt at first...
but, um, it's been... 40 years.
Let it go.
We were not just a group.
We were sisters.
If anybody wanted to fight either one
of us, they had to fight all of us.
We didn't just have each other's backs,
we had each other's hearts.
I know that--
You abandoned us!
And I told you then
that I would never forget it.
Oh, my, I didn't realize that you both
still felt this way. I really...
I'm sorry.
You know what?
I have gotten over this.
I mean, we were young,
we were feeling ourself...
-It's okay, Dot.
-It is not okay!
It never was.
And it never will be.
What are you trying to say, Amelia?
This Fabulous Williams Sisters reunion
is canceled...
and I'm not speaking to you.
[Dot and Maybelle gasp]
[Dot sighs]
I didn't even feel this bad
when Destiny's Child broke up.
Well, that was it.
I was the Beyonc of our group,
and just like her,
there are people still hatin' on me
for moving on.
Get real, Dot.
I was the Beyonc of the group.
Everybody knows that I was the Beyonc
if there ever was one!
[surprised chuckle]
Uh... I thought you wasn't speaking to me.
I was talking to them.
-[Maybelle grumbles]
-I can't believe you did that
to your sister...
[melody of "Silent Night" plays]
It's so cold.
I can't feel my toes!
I can't feel my toes!
That's because you're feeling my toes.
My bad.
[sighs] I'm hungry.
Going four hours without eating
does strange things to a man.
[Jade] Ugh.
I'm going on the record.
Being homeless sucks.
[rummaging sounds]
Is that a girl going through our trash?
I'm sorry. Is this your turf?
Tonight it is.
Oh, n-no. You can-- you can keep those.
You sure?
This is at least three dollars
worth of bottles.
You two must be new to the streets.
How can you tell?
Because your head's not covered.
You lose most of your body heat
from your head.
So if you don't have a hat,
keep a blanket over it.
Give me a shoe.
This will keep your feet warm.
I'm Jade McKellan
and that's my brother, Shaka.
Hi, I'm Crystal Cooper.
Are you all alone out here?
Where are your parents?
My mom and little sister
are at the shelter.
-Jade, let's go stay there.
-Oh, it's full now.
If you get in line really early,
you can sometimes score a bed.
Why don't they have room for everyone?
I guess there's just too many people
who need help.
Make sure you guys stick together.
You can wash up at the gas station
on King Boulevard.
They're pretty nice.
Christmas is the best time of the year
to go through people's trash.
People are always throwing out
their old stuff
to make room for their new stuff.
a perfectly good apple.
People are so wasteful.
They are.
[Jade shivering]
My hands are freezing. [blows]
I got a hack for that.
Put them in your pockets.
Take these.
Oh, no, I-I can't. Then you'll be cold.
It's okay. I've got a spot inside tonight.
You need them more than me.
[melody of "Silent Night" plays]
According to their website,
there are five Meganoid-3000s in there,
and one of them is going home with us.
-Yes! Ooh!
-[Moz grunts]
I sure hope I can get one
for my great-grandson.
-You're cute.
She doesn't stand a chance.
All right, here is the plan.
-This is the toy section.
When the doors open,
you run and block for me.
While you hold everyone off,
I'll grab a Meganoid-3000
and meet you at checkout.
[laughs] Love it.
Sixteen years in the NFL
about to pay off in a big way! [laughs]
[Cocoa] Ready?
-Oh! No!
Wait, wait! No! Moz!
Wait! Moz! Wait!
Oh, oh, oh! No! Not--
Not his head! Not his head! Ah!
-[Moz grunting]
[Moz groans]
-Merry Christmas.
[woman] Merry Christmas.
Hey! Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
-[laughs] Merry Christ... mas.
Do you still think about what could have
been if you ladies hadn't broken up?
We could have been rich and famous.
But if you were rich and famous,
you wouldn't have this family.
I'd just replace them
with a bunch of housekeepers.
Oh! [laughs]
[laughs] Come on, M'Dear.
You couldn't have gone on tour,
you were pregnant with Moz,
and you probably wouldn't have had
Daniel and Grace.
Oh, you can't say that for sure.
You're right.
You're not the first person to wonder,
"What if?"
if you think about it...
is what you missed
better than what you have?
My dear, sweet Cocoa, come here.
You need a mint.
Take it.
[clears throat]
Here you go. Yeah. Merry Christmas.
[clears throat] Okay, back together
for this Christmas only,
the Fabulous...
Williams Sisters!
[cheering and applause]
It's just me.
Oh, Lord.
The Fabulous Williams Sister.
Thank you.
[M'Dear clears throat]
[upbeat music plays]
Stop the music. [chuckles]
Happy holidays, saints.
[crowd] Happy holidays.
Um... [clears throat]
I'd like to talk to you a bit about life.
[crowd murmurs]
I don't have a good one.
[crowd murmurs]
I have a great one.
[positive reaction and applause]
And even with all
of my many, many blessings,
sometimes I still feel
like I really didn't get what I wanted.
And I've always blamed
my sister Dot for that.
-Here we go again.
But instead of blaming her,
I should be thanking her,
because when I look out
and I see my husband,
my children,
my grandbabies...
I am just so grateful...
for what is.
Well, does this mean you...
you'll finally forgive me?
If you'll forgive me.
-Oh! Amelia!
-[crowd] Aww.
Oh, Maybelle!
Now let's give the people
what they came here to see,
the Fabulous Williams Sisters!
[cheering and applause]
[blows nose]
-I'm really in no shape to sing.
-Me neither.
Well, okay.
We do have the Huell Sisters in the house.
[cheering and applause]
[all] Sit down!
I would like to dedicate this song
to my daughter-in-law, Cocoa.
You may not look like it,
but you are one smart cookie.
Hit it, fellas!
[upbeat music plays]
Wow. They could still be Destiny's Child.
Except they all are Beyonc.
[Jade] Mmm.
We're out of sight
We're dynamite
So sit right back
Let's enjoy the ride
We want you all to know
That we're going on with the show
We, we gonna ride
Whoa! [thuds]
We, we gonna...
Even Beyonc has off days.
We, we gonna ride
We, we gonna ride
We, we gonna ride
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
We, we gonna ride
We, we gonna ride
- Oh, ride
- We gonna ride
We're gonna ride
We're gonna ride
[cheering and applause]
[melody of "Deck the Halls" plays]
Did you find her?
Her family can stay in my room,
it's snowing.
I called both homeless shelters.
No Crystal, no Coopers registered there
in the past month.
That's so weird.
I really wanted to help her
the way she helped us.
Well, until we find her, we'll just have
to find a way to pay it forward.
Grandpa, I've got a bunch of clothes
I want to donate.
And I've got lots of toys.
Mazzi's gonna be devastated
when he realizes he didn't get
that Meganoid-3000.
Yeah, you're right. You tell him.
We'll both break it to him.
All right.
[M'Dear sighs]
Who left all these lights on?
I was the last one out.
They were off when I closed the door.
Well, who built the fire then?
Well, we were all at church.
Did somebody break in?
Whoever it was ate all of our cookies.
Look! Look at all the toys!
The real Santa came!
I got it!
I got it! I got my Meganoid-3000!
I got it! Did you guys...
-Honestly, it wasn't us.
-Did you guys?
I don't even know what that thing is.
You guys were right.
Santa is real.
I hope he left me some batteries!
[sighs] Oh!
Our little boy believes
in the magic of Christmas again.
So do I.
Now that, family,
is truly a Christmas miracle.
Silent night
[all sing] Holy night
All is calm
All is bright
Round yon virgin
Mother and child
Holy infant
So tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly
Sleep in heavenly peace
[M'Dear vocalizes] Peace
[M'Dear] I told you I was Beyonc!
[all laughing]