A Grand Mockery (2024) Movie Script
1
Dear Sal.
Good afternoon.
It is 15:23 and I'm sitting
with the Tony's on the bench
on the hillside beneath
the frangipani.
A dry wind is blowing
and dead leaves
scuttle across the
expanse of graves.
A lorikeet rockets past my head
with a singular
ear-piercing shriek.
I see a few crows...
...flying in a strange
sideways manner,
lurching against the gale.
A cloud of pigeons erupts
from a nearby treetop
and their trajectory seems
to work favourably
with the winds
for they hurtle by with
a speed I have rarely
perceived before
in pigeon-kind.
I marinate in the sunshine.
In the salubrious secretions
of the departed.
Two white cockatoos
cross the horizon
where Brisbane lies
baking in the distance.
I think of bushfires.
I think of our country
going up in flames.
Now sitting here with the
accumulated jars
beneath Tony's bench,
I ponder the expansion
of our cemetery postal system.
From Vyvyan's row to Wendelin
in the pine grove,
James and Elizabeth beneath
the rivened ironbark tree
to Tony's lookout,
I feel as though we've both
gotten to know
the cemetery so well,
the resident sleepers may have
already put aside plots for us.
Perhaps departed
promotions await.
See, I just find the Karens
hilarious most of the time.
Yeah, I don't know.
There's been a few...
Been a few issues
with, uh, coffee.
-Morning.
-Morning.
Ah, coffee machine on yet?
-Yes.
-Could you get me a long black?
Ah-- Uh, yeah--
- Morning.
- Morning Josie, how you doing?
Yeah, good, you?
I served a woman,
and she asked for her coffee
but specifically asked me
not to make it. And--
Ah, coffee machine on yet?
You're living with a junky,
you're living with
a speed addict,
you're living with a slut,
you're living with a thief.
And you've got her up there.
Have a go you mug
and see how far you get.
You're the one
that carted her up there.
You're the one that's
got her up there, not me.
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Good evening.
Shortly, the man who says
he's living in a dead body.
Are you...
...in-- in pain?
Yes I was. Yeah.
Here, let me get that.
Thank you, Josie.
Thank you for having me.
Yeah, that's quite a--
it's quite a wound.
I fell heavily.
'Cause I had a bottle of wine
in my right hand, and I, um...
- ...landed heavily on my left.
- Yeah.
I-- I had a blackout.
And I woke up in--
under the trees in the garden.
Mmm.
And then I started to
try to get out of it.
And I-- I couldn't
pull myself up.
- That was-- That was
probably from the--
- Oh, Jesus!
the tree.
And when I was
in AA this morning,
I had my hand on my leg.
And I didn't realise it
but all the blood
was coagulating on my leg.
- Fuck.
- And I thought...
...if anyone sees it in AA
they're gonna go,
"What have you--
What have you been up to?"
Is it-- can I?
Do you, uh...
Out of it for at least
an hour or two.
And then my ear gets cut off.
You made it back,
I heard you make it back here.
Is the camel?
I feel like the camel's
just being a camel, you know?
So the spirit world
is realer than this world.
...created was like,
coming into existence
somewhere else.
That's s-- stupid, isn't it?
No...
Yeah, just get me
a beer, thanks.
We're-- We're all--
We're all shut, sorry mate.
All-- all shut for the evening.
I've got cash,
I can pay you with cash.
All the-- All the tills
are shut down, we're...
-Closed the bar. Sorry mate.
-Well, the machine's still on.
Yeah, I-- I can't--
I can't sell you
anything, we're--
We're shut, for--
for the evening,
we shut-- shut pretty early
these days.
Sorry.
Yeah I just wanted a beer,
they're right there.
Don't know
what to tell you.
Sorry. Eh...
You know, you can tell--
- You can tell what was in--
in the--
- No!
the-- the gentleman's stomach.
So it's like, he--
he comes to the bar.
And is like,
"Give me the big popcorn.
Give me the big Pepsi."
And then he consumes it all.
- And then...
- ...vomits it
into the cup
at the front of the cinema!
And then just leaves it there,
and he's like:
"I'm gonna leave
this little nugget."
I thought a cinema job
was like a walk in the park.
No, no. Strange people...
Strange people.
Strange people
come to the movies
at all hours
of the day and night.
Because they're sitting
alone in the darkness,
-they can do what they want.
-Oh, my God...
I told you about that--
-that row of kids that
-I guess I--
I walked in,
all, like, fellating each other
- right? I told you that one!
- What?
-Yeah, people don't realise!
People don't--
-Oh my God!
- It's a quiet world of
depravity in there.
I hope it's okay.
- Yeah, it's okay.
- It's o--
-Okay.
-Yeah, this is okay.
Oh, you guys are doing so well.
Banana... What's this one?
Another banana?
Yeah, but it's
a blue banana.
You wanna use that green?
Yeah! Okay, I've got to
focus on my dinosaur.
Right.
This is the
start of a few rounds,
and I think
the worst of it is yet to come.
We'll take a look
at the radar, in our
full weather wrap...
Exercise is the key,
not only to physical health
but also peace of mind.
Dennis is here today to show us
how we can have both a healthy
body and a peaceful mind.
All without leaving
our chair or couch,
- d-- good to see you, buddy!
- G'day James,
that's right, look,
would you believe I'm actually
- exercising right now?
- Yeah, right.
Just as I'm talking to you.
Because passive sitting
- really is a killer.
- Huh?
Did you know that
studies have linked
being sedentary
with being overweight?
"So how you doing Josie?
What's new?
Tell me about your life."
- Thanks for asking,
um, I'm-- I'm good.
Just been working a lot.
Mostly--
mostly nights, but that's--
that's okay. Been busy, just...
...drawing and...
...getting drunk.
"What about, ah-- What about...
...what's her face?
Your-- Your lady?"
Nelly!
"Yeah, yeah, um..."
Yeah, she's good. She's good.
She's
busy as well.
Working a lot, like me.
Anyway, enough
about me, how are--
What's new with you?
"Ah, you know me, Josie,
just sitting here,
fucking staring at the TV.
Waiting for the-- for the
icy embrace of death."
You don't mean that.
How is this, anyway?
Looks disgusting.
Oh yeah, that's disgusting.
I'm sorry! It was on special.
All right, all right.
Stop playing around. Come on.
There we go.
Snug as a bug.
You good? You comfy?
What are you thinking about?
Tell me a story.
Tell me something.
Bad to think.
- What?
- Bad to think.
What about when you, ah,
tried to break into that
apartment downstairs?
Can you tell me that one again?
I love that story.
You know it off by heart.
Yeah, but I like hearing it.
- You won't tell me?
- Nah...
All right, well...
If you're all good, I'll, uh--
I'll leave you to it.
You good?
All right. I'll come
see you, uh, day after tomorrow.
That's a long time.
And his beautiful wife
Eleanor Gertude Oberthur,
who was aged 85.
So she outlived him by a year.
All right.
I'll send for you.
"Hey Josie. Still here?"
Yep, still here.
"How long's it been now?
Yeah, right, so you've been here
a long time?"
Of course,
I've fucking been here
a long time, I'm always here.
Dear Sal, I could
tell you its name
but if I had to name it,
it wouldn't be good.
All right, it's, ah... 16:46.
The sun's setting.
The clouds are turning orange.
And I can see the
little birds darting about
and I can hear
a cockatoo in the distance.
I love the cockatoos, Gary!
I love the cockatoos, Gary.
"That's nice, Josie, what
fuckin' cinema am I in today?"
Oh, fuck...
What a beautiful fuckin' night.
What if this is it, you know?
This is as good as it gets.
Drinking wine with
all my dead friends.
You know?
Beautiful place to be.
Beautiful place to be.
Fuck. My God,
who the fuck am I?
Worthless...
Worthless contribution
to society.
What the fuck else
am I gonna do?
Yep, head on through, your film
will start momentarily.
Enjoy the show.
"Hey Josie."
"Hey Josie..." Fuck.
"At first he would
not be comforted.
But when she brought him tea
and very thick
hot buttered toast,
he started eating again.
And they had many
interesting talks together.
She told him that
she had an elderly aunt
who was the washerwoman
at the prison.
So she suggested that if Toa--"
Very tired.
-"That if Toad--"
-I've got work in the morning.
Just let me finish this one bit.
"That if Toad
gave his lady a little money
she might be willing to
let him have one more of her
dresses, so he
could escape from the castle!"
Sorry.
Alright, do ya--
You're done? You've expired?
Can you tap--
can you do the blind?
Thanks.
- Get the light.
- Uh-huh.
It's okay.
Dear Sal... 16:40.
I'm sitting in the cemetery.
-Atop the grave of
Elizabeth Murhead.
-Dear Sal...
Dear Sal--
7:40... How are you
this morning, Elizabeth?
AM, on the morning
of the eighth.
-Dear Sal...
-Barefoot in the cemetery.
-Dear Sal. Dear Sal.
-Sitting with Mark Roberts...
- ...with a cup of coffee.
- Dear Sal.
- atop the grave
- Good afternoon to you, Sal.
Then sugar's the third
ingredient, but it's
one percent sugar.
- If New Order fans don't know who Peter Hook is...
- -Right.
I think it needs to be
even colder, guys.
I think it needs to be ice-cold.
They thought
that it was their pal
in like a bald cap.
Oh no!
Oh, dear...
Josie! We were just talking
about Farrah Fawcett.
She died of cancer of the anus.
And it feels excruciating.
Yeah, like giving birth
through your penis.
-Hey did you get a drink?
-Yeah, yeah, yep.
-Okay.
-Wine-- wine in a mug.
- Nice.
- -Oh, you two are such a beautiful couple.
- Thank you.
- Josie, uh, anus, um...
...and...
Well, we actually were just
talking about Farrah Fawcett
dying of a-- anus cancer.
You just yelled, "Anus."
Oh!
Um, okay, we're one seat short.
...at this-- at this
woman. And I thought...
...she had the most pinned eyes
I've ever seen in my life.
I thought, "She is--
she's a sex worker,
or a fucking lawyer."
She was loud, too.
You know, when you're in a bar,
and you're just tryna
enjoy yourself at the bar,
and somebody else
is really fuckin' loud.
But she looked like
she had snake eyes.
We went outside, all of a sudden
her eyes go from snake eyes...
...and they open up!
What happens when we die, Josie?
What-- What happens?
We just make a tree or...?
Do we just make a tree?
Is that what happens or...?
Why are we all
so scared of death?
You-- You're getting pissed off
at me, aren't you, anus?
Are you, or...?
Honey?
Hi.
Hi!
Um...
Are you--
Are you okay?
- Yes. Sorry.
- Uh-- You can tell me.
No I'm good. I just needed
my little-- I just needed--
- I just needed a moment, I'm sorry.
- I'll be-- -Yes.
- I'll be back out in a sec.
- -I understand
that you would just be like,
"Don't wanna do the thing..."
But also,
they're so nice and I...
...guess I'm also trying
to say that I...
- I'm not meaning to -...
- am having a really good
-taint your nice time.
-time...
I'll come back out
in a second, I just--
- I just--
- Do you know
how much I love you?
I love you, too.
I'm good. I'll s-- I'll come out
in a sec, okay?
I love it when we hang out.
Yeah, uh, me too.
I'll see you in a second.
Okay.
Here you go, Josie.
I'm so sorry
for calling you anus.
It's-- It's just the two of us,
we don't need another
fucking three-paper joint.
Mmm, okay.
-Alright.
-Two papers will suffice, right?
A two-paper joint.
Can you do that?
-Whatever you say, Josie.
-Can you do that for me?
- ...taking your sweet-ass time
rolling this fucking--
- I will kill you.
- I will fucking kill you.
- No, you won't,
you love me.
No, I could kill you, though.
Tell me I'm a work
of art!
You're an asshole!
- You're a fucking asshole!
- I'm an anus, right?!
Huh-- I gave it to you.
Oh, no. I got it, I got it.
I fuckin' bet you do. I don't
fuckin' have it, you took mine.
Let's fuckin' light it up.
Give me the fuckin' lighter!
Do you seriously wanna
fuckin' smoke that
whole thing to yourself?
'Cause you'll be wasted...
...and you'll pass out
in your own piss.
-No! I've never passed out ever
-Give me that fuckin' joint!
-in my life.
-Seriously.
-Give me that fuckin' joint.
-Oh God...
We need to relax here.
Who else agrees with that?
Everyone else raise your hand
if you agree with that?
Nobody's raising their hand.
It's because you
were hoarding it.
Fuckin' bogarting it.
- Bogart?
- Humphrey Bogarting?
You were bogarting it.
We're alive...
I'm pretty sure. I mean...
You're pretty sure?
Yeah, well, you know, physics
can't actually explain
what we're actually doing here.
-What you mean?
-I could actually be st--
sitting here by myself.
You may not actually be here.
-Maybe I'm not.
-And physics--
Quantum physics or--
No, not quantum physics.
Physics actually says that!
-Physics--
-Physics says what,
that I'm not here?
Well yeah, we ain't--
Nobody's here...
-It's--
-What the fuck does that mean,
"nobody's fucking here?"
It's a construction
within your own head.
What's a construction?
That I'm here is a construction.
-How the fuck you know--
-Yeah, that you live. Yeah.
-Oh God...
-I could be anyone.
Get the fuck away
from me with that shit!
...you have lost your honor!
All over a junky fucking slut,
and a fucking thief!
You fucking horror.
You have lost your honor!
By taking her up there.
Fuck! Because you suck cunt.
Leave me the fucking hell
alone, you horror!
Listen you turd! All I did was
put the fucking shit up there
for her, all right?
You can fuck off!
You're getting kicked out.
You've lost your
honor here in New Farm!
All the way.
Oh, I just got
red wine in my eye.
How am I looking?
Pretty... Pretty good.
Tell me I'm a work of art.
Tell me I'm a work of art!
Say it!
"You're a work of art, Josie."
You're
a work of art, Josie.
Yeah, what-- what else could you aspire to be in life?
Really?
- Fuck! No, we're good.
Keep going.
Oop, that's the ashtray.
Am I still a work of art?
Yep.
- I don't wanna--
- Love me!
Well, uh, I, ah--
I can't believe
that I've done it.
I've never...
done an abstract before.
All my stuff is surreal.
Well, I mean,
this is pretty surreal, right?
I don't know why
this gesture seems appropriate
to my, uh, appearance,
right now.
Am I a work of art?
'Course you're
a work of art!
Thank you.
But God did a better job
than me, though.
Did he? I don't think he did.
Ugh!
Shh! Shh!
My s-- My seed, Jim!
- Ohh, wow...
- Oh!
-She's beautiful!
-Yes...
Can I cut the cord?
Yes! Cut it!
What are we gonna call her?
- Eve.
- Eve! My beautiful Eve!
Hi.
- How you doing?
- Good, how are you?
Good, good.
Do you recognize
any of these people?
That's what he said.
"Do you recognize
any of these people?"
No? Well you will.
I'm sorry!
Come with me.
I'll take you away from here.
I don't know where
we're gonna go, but...
Just another beer, thanks.
Beer-beer.
Bar's closed.
Well, the machine's still on.
They're all off.
Well, I've got cash.
Can't sell you a beer.
Come on, they're right there.
Bar's closed. Sorry.
Sir?
Josie, can you flip the record?
Josie!
Oh, my God, it's like
a thousand degrees in here.
Is it?
Yeah it is.
Are you melting?
No, I'm cold.
You don't look well.
I'm okay.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay, well, dinner's ready.
If you wanna come eat.
I can't eat.
What is going on with you?
Nothing!
I'm just really fucking cold,
and I just wanna sit by the fire
and thaw myself out.
Is that okay?
Yep.
Sure.
So there's nothing
going on with you?
Nothing you wanna tell me?
No.
-All right, I'm off.
-Yep. No worries.
-You all good?
-Yeah. Yeah, I'll be alright.
Wasn't too busy tonight.
No, no. It was pretty cruisy
for a Friday night.
Oh, um, cinema ten,
the bins, um,
stink really bad.
Like, someone's...
...spewed in them.
-Right.
-Yeah, I hate to ask,
but you wouldn't mind
having a look at them would ya?
Might just need
a bit of a rinse out.
- Yeah. Sure.
- Thanks man.
We've just got that function on
in the morning,
and we can't have the
whole place reeking of vomit.
That-- that-- that makes sense.
I'll get onto it.
Legend.
Ah, well, I'm gonna take off.
-Yep.
-Good luck.
Yep. See ya.
How's your night been?
Yeah, not too bad.
Yourself?
All quiet.
- Have a good one.
- Thank you.
- Have you?
- I have guinea pigs
at my house.
-Guinea pigs. Amazing.
Guinea pigs? What are they?
- They're--
- They're so cute.
Like, what
do you advise me, to do?
It can only come from, um,
another energy.
On that level.
You've-- You--
You really can't do a lot,
on this level.
Look, do you know the
closest way you get done?
Get-- Get interreaction? Get--
Ah, what's the word...
It's through, sexual relations.
- Yeah, right.
- Now,
did a woman come
into your life in that period?
Or someone come into your life?
Ah-- uh...
- It's hard to say.
- -Start a new relationship with anyone?
Not that-- No--
- Not that you're aware of.
-Not that I'm aware of.
'Cause usually it's--
it's-- comes from an outer
force.
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
And it's hard to
rid yourself of it.
It's like a spear.
It's a spiritual spear,
right? That's been put into ya.
- Yeah.
- Leaves a hole...
And they access
through that hole.
It's like a fa-- fe--
festering sore...
that's always topped up with
negative energies.
If we knew what happens
in sexual relations,
-we wouldn't do it.
-Yeah...
Hey, I've been celibate
for 25 years.
Wow.
See, sexual energy
is the strongest energy
on the planet.
- Yeah.
- And that's the way they can
grab ya.
So...
And-- oh, I have to remo--
I have to say this
to you, too.
Every seduction
is done in the spirit
before it's done on the--
on Earth.
See, the spirit world is--
is a more hostile world...
Uh, s-- sorry, it's just as
hostile as this world on Earth.
The four heads I told you about.
Do you recognize
any of these people?
- Well, the ten heads,
four that I know.
Right?
Well, like I said to you before,
I'm dealing with someone
with ten heads.
By the power of
Hecate, I demand this daemon...
...free-- be free
from daemon s--
Oh, sorry.
I'm sorry.
Everything is gone now.
By the power of Hecate!
By the power of Lucifer!
By the power of Satan!
I state! Leave this soul!
Ouch!
That's all right! Little bit
of blood doesn't hurt.
Sad story, isn't it?
Hm-- No.
Fuck...
Mr. Josie!
Hey mate, how you doing?
Ah, yep, you're in cinema five,
just head right down the end
take a right, you're in seat M9.
Hey mate. Hey guys, I've just
gotta check your tickets,
sorry--
Yep-- Ah yep, you're in
cinema six head straight-- Yep.
Okay, yep. Hey guys,
how you good--
how you-- how you doing?
You're in cinema seven,
just head down the end,
it's on the left there,
you're in seat H9.
Hey there, how you doing?
How you doing? You're in, uh,
cinema six, just head--
- head straight down
the end. Go right in.
- Alright.
Hey mate, how you doing?
Yep, cinema six,
-go-- yep, go for it. Yep.
-Good.
Mr. Josie.
How are you this evening?
I'm good.
What film are you seeing?
Are you keeping out of
trouble and plight?
Mr. Josie.
I'm with child.
Meet... Ruth IV.
Say... Was it?
Oh, really? Well don't you find
this place unwholesome?
Don't you find this place...
...awful?
Ooh!
Oi, oi! Hey, can we get
the air con in here,
it's fucking boiling!
What do you think?
He's not how I imagined.
What were you imagining?
He's just so... pretty.
He's a work of art, isn't he?
I've seen him naked,
he's got a gorgeous cock.
I bet he does.
I can smell his loins from here.
All right, Mr. Josie. I'm off.
Okay. No worries.
You okay, Mr. Josie?
Yeah.
Wasn't too busy tonight.
No, no, it was pretty cruisy
for a Friday night.
Oh, ah...
-The bin in cinema ten...
-Yeah?
It turned into
a liquified corruption.
-Yeah, I hate to ask ya.
-Yup.
Thanks man.
Sorry about that. We've just--
we've got that function on
in the morning, and, ah,
-we can't have the whole
place reeking--
-No, I'll get onto it.
Legend.
Ah...
-All the best.
-See ya.
Dear Sal.
The time is 15:23
and I am kneeling
before the fountain of sadness.
Wiping up the beer-infused piss
of a thousand
discharging cocks.
I feel as though my skin
has absorbed the fluids
through some kind of
piss osmosis
and the next time I weep
I may weep tears of piss!
My boss delights
in facilitating
these transfusions,
and his piss
is the most golden of them all.
I imagine him
sitting down in the office
watching the CCTV footage
of me cleaning the urinal
and he's--
he's furiously masturbating.
Expression
of disbelief on his face,
like he can't even believe
how turned on he is.
Like at any moment he might
wrench his own cock off
with the sheer ferocity
of his desperate pumpings!
Nice job on
the bin in cinema ten, man.
Lavender perfume
was a nice touch.
Ooh!
Only a few more to go.
And you're done.
Oh dear!
Hi, Mr. Josie.
Would you like a beer?
...very angry, and
decided to drown the people.
The thunder began
to roll and crash.
There was a terrible wind...
Then the sea came crashing
over the ranges from the north.
According to
the Genesis account,
the Earth was struck
by an immense catastrophe
a few thousand years ago, when
almost all life was destroyed,
and the Earth was flooded.
Only Noah's family...
This is
Aileen Johnson of
I think you will agree
with me that the world
has changed drastically
in recent years.
Unfortunately,
a very real problem
remains in many people's lives.
The problem of tension.
And tension, we find,
has increased
with modern day living.
Please don't expect
immediate results.
It is not magic.
It could take several days,
or even weeks,
depending on how you respond.
If you feel you are
becoming tense,
don't carry on until you are
at screaming point.
It will only build up.
Many people suffer
from insomnia
and resort to sleeping pills.
You feel them sinking down.
With each breath,
you let yourself go.
You will find yourself becoming
more confident, serene,
and contented.
Close your eyes.
And cut yourself off
from the outside world.
- You are letting go.
- Fuck you.
And giving in.
Dear Sal.
It is 7:30, and I am strolling
down the block
in the bright morning sunlight.
Listening to my friends,
the morning birds,
sing in the new day.
I haven't heard
from you in a while.
I hope you're okay.
I miss soaking in your
beautiful words, they...
...always give me such
a burning hard-on.
I feel the gentleman downstairs
swelling up at the mere thought
of holding another
one of your eloquent missives.
The bulge threatens to...
burst through my trunk fronts.
Please write me again, Sal.
Last night I had the
most beautiful dream.
I dreamt I was in a vast field
with all the people
who had loved me
throughout my life.
They were all wearing
little matching outfits
and I was on my knees
and they had
formed an orderly queue
so they could each
take a turn at fucking me
in the mouth!
Mr. Anus!
Fuck!
Didn't think I'd see you
back here.
Good luck.
What the fuck do you want?
What are you doing?
I'm just really fucking cold
and I just
wanna sit by the fire
and thaw myself out!
Is that okay?
That's not how it goes!
- All right, you
groovy travellers,
next up we have
The Josie Experiment
with their new trance hit
"Salut Da Whore"!
Hey there, Mr. Josie.
How ya doing?
Do you have a sturdier vessel?
Yeah, you bet.
Mmm.
Champ Blue's.
Your favorite.
How's that taste?
Here, I'll top
you up there, Mr. Josie.
I don't have any money.
They're on the house.
How's that there, Mr. Josie?
Want a top up?
Yep.
Oh...
Want a top up?
Right?
Why do you drink?
Fuck off.
Thank you.
Fuck man, I can't drink
this wine fast enough.
Those big brown eyes
They just hypnotize
I can't disguise
All my love and surprise
That big white smile
Seems to last all the while
And you light up the skies
When you look in my eyes
When I feel down
When I feel lonely
You're always there
You're my one and only
Honey, I know
That our love will grow
I'll never let you go
I just love you so
Those big brown eyes
They just hypnotize
I can't disguise
All my love and surprise
That big white smile
Seems to last all the while
And you light up the skies
When you look in my eyes
When I feel down
When I feel lonely
You're always there
You're my one and only
...a show with Wolfman Jack.
Who was a great,
great disc jockey.
...the-- the Raspini Brothers.
And they left their job
and became full-time jugglers.
- Now they're the top
two jugglers in the world.
They do this.
Disgusting!
I've missed you.
I know we only just met but...
...I've missed you.
Let's get out of this place.
Let's quit this paltry misery.
Suicide.
No. No, not suicide. I mean...
Let's get out of here.
Let's quit the fucking dances,
the booze, the rooms, the roofs.
This! Quit that.
Discard the stained tablecloth
of man and return to the wood.
I've been condemned to death.
I expire in the morning.
What do you mean?
I upset the cart of Mr. Fig.
His grocery lay
all over the road.
People don't hang for groceries.
No. Drowned.
I may be deformed and
half-rotted through myself,
but I will not tolerate
deception.
We should wed tomorrow.
I'll be drowned.
The drowned don't wed?
Oh... Dear Sal!
Oh, dear!
Oh, boy. Dear Sal!
Oh, dear...
Oh, dear Sal...
Oh, dear Sal...
Dear Sal.
Dear, dear Sal!
Oh, dear--
Oh, dear Sal!
Oh, dear Sal!
- Oh, dear Sal!
- Oh, dear Sal!
Dear Sal.
The time is unnoted
as my watch has stopped.
I am lying spread-eagled
upon a bed of wet bracken
staring up at the
verdant canopy,
waiting for my
forest nymph friends
to come and wash the
filth from my flesh.
Maybe they'll sing me a lullaby
with their delightful
sing-song voices.
I never heard from you again.
Now I feel like I'm
on a boat without a sail,
set helplessly adrift on an
endless ocean of septic semen.
I lurch about the deck of my
paltry vessel
and try not to hurl
as the sun is just peeking
over the distant horizon
like the head of some
gargantuan burning phallus.
I resign myself to
the incomprehensible
bowel movements of the abyss.
I care not for
what shores await,
be there shores at all!
All notions of homeland
have left me,
for I cannot remember
what home was like.
Perhaps this septic sea
was always my home, and...
...land was but a dream.
Now I'm waking up and...
...I'm beginning to see through
the stained veil of time.
I see hordes
of trolls all lined up
and frantically masturbating
into the precipice at
the end of the world.
I see flocks of chimeras
fellating themselves
in great spirals as they
move across the sky.
I can hear the tearing of
the oceans myriad vulvas
all giving birth at once,
and the shrieking
of the outraged progeny,
who immediately commence
feasting on each other
with their puckered
toothless mouths!
I see darkness...
seeing itself.
I see the cum of 10,000 giants
flooding across the land
swallowing up everyone
and everything
and everyone is drowning!
Everyone is drowning!
But I have a boat.
I am alone but...
...I have a boat.
Now, I hear my forest
nymph friends
coming to sing me to sleep.
Their tiny cocks showering me
in salubrious golden piss.
Washing away the filth.
Filling my eyes.
Filling my lungs.
Now I'm...
...swimming.
I'll write to you tomorrow.
Your friend always.
Dear Sal.
Good afternoon.
It is 15:23 and I'm sitting
with the Tony's on the bench
on the hillside beneath
the frangipani.
A dry wind is blowing
and dead leaves
scuttle across the
expanse of graves.
A lorikeet rockets past my head
with a singular
ear-piercing shriek.
I see a few crows...
...flying in a strange
sideways manner,
lurching against the gale.
A cloud of pigeons erupts
from a nearby treetop
and their trajectory seems
to work favourably
with the winds
for they hurtle by with
a speed I have rarely
perceived before
in pigeon-kind.
I marinate in the sunshine.
In the salubrious secretions
of the departed.
Two white cockatoos
cross the horizon
where Brisbane lies
baking in the distance.
I think of bushfires.
I think of our country
going up in flames.
Now sitting here with the
accumulated jars
beneath Tony's bench,
I ponder the expansion
of our cemetery postal system.
From Vyvyan's row to Wendelin
in the pine grove,
James and Elizabeth beneath
the rivened ironbark tree
to Tony's lookout,
I feel as though we've both
gotten to know
the cemetery so well,
the resident sleepers may have
already put aside plots for us.
Perhaps departed
promotions await.
See, I just find the Karens
hilarious most of the time.
Yeah, I don't know.
There's been a few...
Been a few issues
with, uh, coffee.
-Morning.
-Morning.
Ah, coffee machine on yet?
-Yes.
-Could you get me a long black?
Ah-- Uh, yeah--
- Morning.
- Morning Josie, how you doing?
Yeah, good, you?
I served a woman,
and she asked for her coffee
but specifically asked me
not to make it. And--
Ah, coffee machine on yet?
You're living with a junky,
you're living with
a speed addict,
you're living with a slut,
you're living with a thief.
And you've got her up there.
Have a go you mug
and see how far you get.
You're the one
that carted her up there.
You're the one that's
got her up there, not me.
Pay absolutely
no interest 'til February
next year!
Lounge suites, 400 off!
Bedroom, 200 off!
Ensembles half-price!
Look at these! 100 off!
200 off!
Tomorrow, bargains galore!
Lounge, sofas, mattresses,
bookcases, video units, desks
and queen size beds,
all discounted!
Prices never cheaper!
100 off, 40% off.
These, half price! Half price!
And again half price!
Famous SleepMaker Miracoil,
200 off!
Price massacre color catalogue
out now! Super Amart!
Good evening.
Shortly, the man who says
he's living in a dead body.
Are you...
...in-- in pain?
Yes I was. Yeah.
Here, let me get that.
Thank you, Josie.
Thank you for having me.
Yeah, that's quite a--
it's quite a wound.
I fell heavily.
'Cause I had a bottle of wine
in my right hand, and I, um...
- ...landed heavily on my left.
- Yeah.
I-- I had a blackout.
And I woke up in--
under the trees in the garden.
Mmm.
And then I started to
try to get out of it.
And I-- I couldn't
pull myself up.
- That was-- That was
probably from the--
- Oh, Jesus!
the tree.
And when I was
in AA this morning,
I had my hand on my leg.
And I didn't realise it
but all the blood
was coagulating on my leg.
- Fuck.
- And I thought...
...if anyone sees it in AA
they're gonna go,
"What have you--
What have you been up to?"
Is it-- can I?
Do you, uh...
Out of it for at least
an hour or two.
And then my ear gets cut off.
You made it back,
I heard you make it back here.
Is the camel?
I feel like the camel's
just being a camel, you know?
So the spirit world
is realer than this world.
...created was like,
coming into existence
somewhere else.
That's s-- stupid, isn't it?
No...
Yeah, just get me
a beer, thanks.
We're-- We're all--
We're all shut, sorry mate.
All-- all shut for the evening.
I've got cash,
I can pay you with cash.
All the-- All the tills
are shut down, we're...
-Closed the bar. Sorry mate.
-Well, the machine's still on.
Yeah, I-- I can't--
I can't sell you
anything, we're--
We're shut, for--
for the evening,
we shut-- shut pretty early
these days.
Sorry.
Yeah I just wanted a beer,
they're right there.
Don't know
what to tell you.
Sorry. Eh...
You know, you can tell--
- You can tell what was in--
in the--
- No!
the-- the gentleman's stomach.
So it's like, he--
he comes to the bar.
And is like,
"Give me the big popcorn.
Give me the big Pepsi."
And then he consumes it all.
- And then...
- ...vomits it
into the cup
at the front of the cinema!
And then just leaves it there,
and he's like:
"I'm gonna leave
this little nugget."
I thought a cinema job
was like a walk in the park.
No, no. Strange people...
Strange people.
Strange people
come to the movies
at all hours
of the day and night.
Because they're sitting
alone in the darkness,
-they can do what they want.
-Oh, my God...
I told you about that--
-that row of kids that
-I guess I--
I walked in,
all, like, fellating each other
- right? I told you that one!
- What?
-Yeah, people don't realise!
People don't--
-Oh my God!
- It's a quiet world of
depravity in there.
I hope it's okay.
- Yeah, it's okay.
- It's o--
-Okay.
-Yeah, this is okay.
Oh, you guys are doing so well.
Banana... What's this one?
Another banana?
Yeah, but it's
a blue banana.
You wanna use that green?
Yeah! Okay, I've got to
focus on my dinosaur.
Right.
This is the
start of a few rounds,
and I think
the worst of it is yet to come.
We'll take a look
at the radar, in our
full weather wrap...
Exercise is the key,
not only to physical health
but also peace of mind.
Dennis is here today to show us
how we can have both a healthy
body and a peaceful mind.
All without leaving
our chair or couch,
- d-- good to see you, buddy!
- G'day James,
that's right, look,
would you believe I'm actually
- exercising right now?
- Yeah, right.
Just as I'm talking to you.
Because passive sitting
- really is a killer.
- Huh?
Did you know that
studies have linked
being sedentary
with being overweight?
"So how you doing Josie?
What's new?
Tell me about your life."
- Thanks for asking,
um, I'm-- I'm good.
Just been working a lot.
Mostly--
mostly nights, but that's--
that's okay. Been busy, just...
...drawing and...
...getting drunk.
"What about, ah-- What about...
...what's her face?
Your-- Your lady?"
Nelly!
"Yeah, yeah, um..."
Yeah, she's good. She's good.
She's
busy as well.
Working a lot, like me.
Anyway, enough
about me, how are--
What's new with you?
"Ah, you know me, Josie,
just sitting here,
fucking staring at the TV.
Waiting for the-- for the
icy embrace of death."
You don't mean that.
How is this, anyway?
Looks disgusting.
Oh yeah, that's disgusting.
I'm sorry! It was on special.
All right, all right.
Stop playing around. Come on.
There we go.
Snug as a bug.
You good? You comfy?
What are you thinking about?
Tell me a story.
Tell me something.
Bad to think.
- What?
- Bad to think.
What about when you, ah,
tried to break into that
apartment downstairs?
Can you tell me that one again?
I love that story.
You know it off by heart.
Yeah, but I like hearing it.
- You won't tell me?
- Nah...
All right, well...
If you're all good, I'll, uh--
I'll leave you to it.
You good?
All right. I'll come
see you, uh, day after tomorrow.
That's a long time.
And his beautiful wife
Eleanor Gertude Oberthur,
who was aged 85.
So she outlived him by a year.
All right.
I'll send for you.
"Hey Josie. Still here?"
Yep, still here.
"How long's it been now?
Yeah, right, so you've been here
a long time?"
Of course,
I've fucking been here
a long time, I'm always here.
Dear Sal, I could
tell you its name
but if I had to name it,
it wouldn't be good.
All right, it's, ah... 16:46.
The sun's setting.
The clouds are turning orange.
And I can see the
little birds darting about
and I can hear
a cockatoo in the distance.
I love the cockatoos, Gary!
I love the cockatoos, Gary.
"That's nice, Josie, what
fuckin' cinema am I in today?"
Oh, fuck...
What a beautiful fuckin' night.
What if this is it, you know?
This is as good as it gets.
Drinking wine with
all my dead friends.
You know?
Beautiful place to be.
Beautiful place to be.
Fuck. My God,
who the fuck am I?
Worthless...
Worthless contribution
to society.
What the fuck else
am I gonna do?
Yep, head on through, your film
will start momentarily.
Enjoy the show.
"Hey Josie."
"Hey Josie..." Fuck.
"At first he would
not be comforted.
But when she brought him tea
and very thick
hot buttered toast,
he started eating again.
And they had many
interesting talks together.
She told him that
she had an elderly aunt
who was the washerwoman
at the prison.
So she suggested that if Toa--"
Very tired.
-"That if Toad--"
-I've got work in the morning.
Just let me finish this one bit.
"That if Toad
gave his lady a little money
she might be willing to
let him have one more of her
dresses, so he
could escape from the castle!"
Sorry.
Alright, do ya--
You're done? You've expired?
Can you tap--
can you do the blind?
Thanks.
- Get the light.
- Uh-huh.
It's okay.
Dear Sal... 16:40.
I'm sitting in the cemetery.
-Atop the grave of
Elizabeth Murhead.
-Dear Sal...
Dear Sal--
7:40... How are you
this morning, Elizabeth?
AM, on the morning
of the eighth.
-Dear Sal...
-Barefoot in the cemetery.
-Dear Sal. Dear Sal.
-Sitting with Mark Roberts...
- ...with a cup of coffee.
- Dear Sal.
- atop the grave
- Good afternoon to you, Sal.
Then sugar's the third
ingredient, but it's
one percent sugar.
- If New Order fans don't know who Peter Hook is...
- -Right.
I think it needs to be
even colder, guys.
I think it needs to be ice-cold.
They thought
that it was their pal
in like a bald cap.
Oh no!
Oh, dear...
Josie! We were just talking
about Farrah Fawcett.
She died of cancer of the anus.
And it feels excruciating.
Yeah, like giving birth
through your penis.
-Hey did you get a drink?
-Yeah, yeah, yep.
-Okay.
-Wine-- wine in a mug.
- Nice.
- -Oh, you two are such a beautiful couple.
- Thank you.
- Josie, uh, anus, um...
...and...
Well, we actually were just
talking about Farrah Fawcett
dying of a-- anus cancer.
You just yelled, "Anus."
Oh!
Um, okay, we're one seat short.
...at this-- at this
woman. And I thought...
...she had the most pinned eyes
I've ever seen in my life.
I thought, "She is--
she's a sex worker,
or a fucking lawyer."
She was loud, too.
You know, when you're in a bar,
and you're just tryna
enjoy yourself at the bar,
and somebody else
is really fuckin' loud.
But she looked like
she had snake eyes.
We went outside, all of a sudden
her eyes go from snake eyes...
...and they open up!
What happens when we die, Josie?
What-- What happens?
We just make a tree or...?
Do we just make a tree?
Is that what happens or...?
Why are we all
so scared of death?
You-- You're getting pissed off
at me, aren't you, anus?
Are you, or...?
Honey?
Hi.
Hi!
Um...
Are you--
Are you okay?
- Yes. Sorry.
- Uh-- You can tell me.
No I'm good. I just needed
my little-- I just needed--
- I just needed a moment, I'm sorry.
- I'll be-- -Yes.
- I'll be back out in a sec.
- -I understand
that you would just be like,
"Don't wanna do the thing..."
But also,
they're so nice and I...
...guess I'm also trying
to say that I...
- I'm not meaning to -...
- am having a really good
-taint your nice time.
-time...
I'll come back out
in a second, I just--
- I just--
- Do you know
how much I love you?
I love you, too.
I'm good. I'll s-- I'll come out
in a sec, okay?
I love it when we hang out.
Yeah, uh, me too.
I'll see you in a second.
Okay.
Here you go, Josie.
I'm so sorry
for calling you anus.
It's-- It's just the two of us,
we don't need another
fucking three-paper joint.
Mmm, okay.
-Alright.
-Two papers will suffice, right?
A two-paper joint.
Can you do that?
-Whatever you say, Josie.
-Can you do that for me?
- ...taking your sweet-ass time
rolling this fucking--
- I will kill you.
- I will fucking kill you.
- No, you won't,
you love me.
No, I could kill you, though.
Tell me I'm a work
of art!
You're an asshole!
- You're a fucking asshole!
- I'm an anus, right?!
Huh-- I gave it to you.
Oh, no. I got it, I got it.
I fuckin' bet you do. I don't
fuckin' have it, you took mine.
Let's fuckin' light it up.
Give me the fuckin' lighter!
Do you seriously wanna
fuckin' smoke that
whole thing to yourself?
'Cause you'll be wasted...
...and you'll pass out
in your own piss.
-No! I've never passed out ever
-Give me that fuckin' joint!
-in my life.
-Seriously.
-Give me that fuckin' joint.
-Oh God...
We need to relax here.
Who else agrees with that?
Everyone else raise your hand
if you agree with that?
Nobody's raising their hand.
It's because you
were hoarding it.
Fuckin' bogarting it.
- Bogart?
- Humphrey Bogarting?
You were bogarting it.
We're alive...
I'm pretty sure. I mean...
You're pretty sure?
Yeah, well, you know, physics
can't actually explain
what we're actually doing here.
-What you mean?
-I could actually be st--
sitting here by myself.
You may not actually be here.
-Maybe I'm not.
-And physics--
Quantum physics or--
No, not quantum physics.
Physics actually says that!
-Physics--
-Physics says what,
that I'm not here?
Well yeah, we ain't--
Nobody's here...
-It's--
-What the fuck does that mean,
"nobody's fucking here?"
It's a construction
within your own head.
What's a construction?
That I'm here is a construction.
-How the fuck you know--
-Yeah, that you live. Yeah.
-Oh God...
-I could be anyone.
Get the fuck away
from me with that shit!
...you have lost your honor!
All over a junky fucking slut,
and a fucking thief!
You fucking horror.
You have lost your honor!
By taking her up there.
Fuck! Because you suck cunt.
Leave me the fucking hell
alone, you horror!
Listen you turd! All I did was
put the fucking shit up there
for her, all right?
You can fuck off!
You're getting kicked out.
You've lost your
honor here in New Farm!
All the way.
Oh, I just got
red wine in my eye.
How am I looking?
Pretty... Pretty good.
Tell me I'm a work of art.
Tell me I'm a work of art!
Say it!
"You're a work of art, Josie."
You're
a work of art, Josie.
Yeah, what-- what else could you aspire to be in life?
Really?
- Fuck! No, we're good.
Keep going.
Oop, that's the ashtray.
Am I still a work of art?
Yep.
- I don't wanna--
- Love me!
Well, uh, I, ah--
I can't believe
that I've done it.
I've never...
done an abstract before.
All my stuff is surreal.
Well, I mean,
this is pretty surreal, right?
I don't know why
this gesture seems appropriate
to my, uh, appearance,
right now.
Am I a work of art?
'Course you're
a work of art!
Thank you.
But God did a better job
than me, though.
Did he? I don't think he did.
Ugh!
Shh! Shh!
My s-- My seed, Jim!
- Ohh, wow...
- Oh!
-She's beautiful!
-Yes...
Can I cut the cord?
Yes! Cut it!
What are we gonna call her?
- Eve.
- Eve! My beautiful Eve!
Hi.
- How you doing?
- Good, how are you?
Good, good.
Do you recognize
any of these people?
That's what he said.
"Do you recognize
any of these people?"
No? Well you will.
I'm sorry!
Come with me.
I'll take you away from here.
I don't know where
we're gonna go, but...
Just another beer, thanks.
Beer-beer.
Bar's closed.
Well, the machine's still on.
They're all off.
Well, I've got cash.
Can't sell you a beer.
Come on, they're right there.
Bar's closed. Sorry.
Sir?
Josie, can you flip the record?
Josie!
Oh, my God, it's like
a thousand degrees in here.
Is it?
Yeah it is.
Are you melting?
No, I'm cold.
You don't look well.
I'm okay.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay, well, dinner's ready.
If you wanna come eat.
I can't eat.
What is going on with you?
Nothing!
I'm just really fucking cold,
and I just wanna sit by the fire
and thaw myself out.
Is that okay?
Yep.
Sure.
So there's nothing
going on with you?
Nothing you wanna tell me?
No.
-All right, I'm off.
-Yep. No worries.
-You all good?
-Yeah. Yeah, I'll be alright.
Wasn't too busy tonight.
No, no. It was pretty cruisy
for a Friday night.
Oh, um, cinema ten,
the bins, um,
stink really bad.
Like, someone's...
...spewed in them.
-Right.
-Yeah, I hate to ask,
but you wouldn't mind
having a look at them would ya?
Might just need
a bit of a rinse out.
- Yeah. Sure.
- Thanks man.
We've just got that function on
in the morning,
and we can't have the
whole place reeking of vomit.
That-- that-- that makes sense.
I'll get onto it.
Legend.
Ah, well, I'm gonna take off.
-Yep.
-Good luck.
Yep. See ya.
How's your night been?
Yeah, not too bad.
Yourself?
All quiet.
- Have a good one.
- Thank you.
- Have you?
- I have guinea pigs
at my house.
-Guinea pigs. Amazing.
Guinea pigs? What are they?
- They're--
- They're so cute.
Like, what
do you advise me, to do?
It can only come from, um,
another energy.
On that level.
You've-- You--
You really can't do a lot,
on this level.
Look, do you know the
closest way you get done?
Get-- Get interreaction? Get--
Ah, what's the word...
It's through, sexual relations.
- Yeah, right.
- Now,
did a woman come
into your life in that period?
Or someone come into your life?
Ah-- uh...
- It's hard to say.
- -Start a new relationship with anyone?
Not that-- No--
- Not that you're aware of.
-Not that I'm aware of.
'Cause usually it's--
it's-- comes from an outer
force.
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
And it's hard to
rid yourself of it.
It's like a spear.
It's a spiritual spear,
right? That's been put into ya.
- Yeah.
- Leaves a hole...
And they access
through that hole.
It's like a fa-- fe--
festering sore...
that's always topped up with
negative energies.
If we knew what happens
in sexual relations,
-we wouldn't do it.
-Yeah...
Hey, I've been celibate
for 25 years.
Wow.
See, sexual energy
is the strongest energy
on the planet.
- Yeah.
- And that's the way they can
grab ya.
So...
And-- oh, I have to remo--
I have to say this
to you, too.
Every seduction
is done in the spirit
before it's done on the--
on Earth.
See, the spirit world is--
is a more hostile world...
Uh, s-- sorry, it's just as
hostile as this world on Earth.
The four heads I told you about.
Do you recognize
any of these people?
- Well, the ten heads,
four that I know.
Right?
Well, like I said to you before,
I'm dealing with someone
with ten heads.
By the power of
Hecate, I demand this daemon...
...free-- be free
from daemon s--
Oh, sorry.
I'm sorry.
Everything is gone now.
By the power of Hecate!
By the power of Lucifer!
By the power of Satan!
I state! Leave this soul!
Ouch!
That's all right! Little bit
of blood doesn't hurt.
Sad story, isn't it?
Hm-- No.
Fuck...
Mr. Josie!
Hey mate, how you doing?
Ah, yep, you're in cinema five,
just head right down the end
take a right, you're in seat M9.
Hey mate. Hey guys, I've just
gotta check your tickets,
sorry--
Yep-- Ah yep, you're in
cinema six head straight-- Yep.
Okay, yep. Hey guys,
how you good--
how you-- how you doing?
You're in cinema seven,
just head down the end,
it's on the left there,
you're in seat H9.
Hey there, how you doing?
How you doing? You're in, uh,
cinema six, just head--
- head straight down
the end. Go right in.
- Alright.
Hey mate, how you doing?
Yep, cinema six,
-go-- yep, go for it. Yep.
-Good.
Mr. Josie.
How are you this evening?
I'm good.
What film are you seeing?
Are you keeping out of
trouble and plight?
Mr. Josie.
I'm with child.
Meet... Ruth IV.
Say... Was it?
Oh, really? Well don't you find
this place unwholesome?
Don't you find this place...
...awful?
Ooh!
Oi, oi! Hey, can we get
the air con in here,
it's fucking boiling!
What do you think?
He's not how I imagined.
What were you imagining?
He's just so... pretty.
He's a work of art, isn't he?
I've seen him naked,
he's got a gorgeous cock.
I bet he does.
I can smell his loins from here.
All right, Mr. Josie. I'm off.
Okay. No worries.
You okay, Mr. Josie?
Yeah.
Wasn't too busy tonight.
No, no, it was pretty cruisy
for a Friday night.
Oh, ah...
-The bin in cinema ten...
-Yeah?
It turned into
a liquified corruption.
-Yeah, I hate to ask ya.
-Yup.
Thanks man.
Sorry about that. We've just--
we've got that function on
in the morning, and, ah,
-we can't have the whole
place reeking--
-No, I'll get onto it.
Legend.
Ah...
-All the best.
-See ya.
Dear Sal.
The time is 15:23
and I am kneeling
before the fountain of sadness.
Wiping up the beer-infused piss
of a thousand
discharging cocks.
I feel as though my skin
has absorbed the fluids
through some kind of
piss osmosis
and the next time I weep
I may weep tears of piss!
My boss delights
in facilitating
these transfusions,
and his piss
is the most golden of them all.
I imagine him
sitting down in the office
watching the CCTV footage
of me cleaning the urinal
and he's--
he's furiously masturbating.
Expression
of disbelief on his face,
like he can't even believe
how turned on he is.
Like at any moment he might
wrench his own cock off
with the sheer ferocity
of his desperate pumpings!
Nice job on
the bin in cinema ten, man.
Lavender perfume
was a nice touch.
Ooh!
Only a few more to go.
And you're done.
Oh dear!
Hi, Mr. Josie.
Would you like a beer?
...very angry, and
decided to drown the people.
The thunder began
to roll and crash.
There was a terrible wind...
Then the sea came crashing
over the ranges from the north.
According to
the Genesis account,
the Earth was struck
by an immense catastrophe
a few thousand years ago, when
almost all life was destroyed,
and the Earth was flooded.
Only Noah's family...
This is
Aileen Johnson of
I think you will agree
with me that the world
has changed drastically
in recent years.
Unfortunately,
a very real problem
remains in many people's lives.
The problem of tension.
And tension, we find,
has increased
with modern day living.
Please don't expect
immediate results.
It is not magic.
It could take several days,
or even weeks,
depending on how you respond.
If you feel you are
becoming tense,
don't carry on until you are
at screaming point.
It will only build up.
Many people suffer
from insomnia
and resort to sleeping pills.
You feel them sinking down.
With each breath,
you let yourself go.
You will find yourself becoming
more confident, serene,
and contented.
Close your eyes.
And cut yourself off
from the outside world.
- You are letting go.
- Fuck you.
And giving in.
Dear Sal.
It is 7:30, and I am strolling
down the block
in the bright morning sunlight.
Listening to my friends,
the morning birds,
sing in the new day.
I haven't heard
from you in a while.
I hope you're okay.
I miss soaking in your
beautiful words, they...
...always give me such
a burning hard-on.
I feel the gentleman downstairs
swelling up at the mere thought
of holding another
one of your eloquent missives.
The bulge threatens to...
burst through my trunk fronts.
Please write me again, Sal.
Last night I had the
most beautiful dream.
I dreamt I was in a vast field
with all the people
who had loved me
throughout my life.
They were all wearing
little matching outfits
and I was on my knees
and they had
formed an orderly queue
so they could each
take a turn at fucking me
in the mouth!
Mr. Anus!
Fuck!
Didn't think I'd see you
back here.
Good luck.
What the fuck do you want?
What are you doing?
I'm just really fucking cold
and I just
wanna sit by the fire
and thaw myself out!
Is that okay?
That's not how it goes!
- All right, you
groovy travellers,
next up we have
The Josie Experiment
with their new trance hit
"Salut Da Whore"!
Hey there, Mr. Josie.
How ya doing?
Do you have a sturdier vessel?
Yeah, you bet.
Mmm.
Champ Blue's.
Your favorite.
How's that taste?
Here, I'll top
you up there, Mr. Josie.
I don't have any money.
They're on the house.
How's that there, Mr. Josie?
Want a top up?
Yep.
Oh...
Want a top up?
Right?
Why do you drink?
Fuck off.
Thank you.
Fuck man, I can't drink
this wine fast enough.
Those big brown eyes
They just hypnotize
I can't disguise
All my love and surprise
That big white smile
Seems to last all the while
And you light up the skies
When you look in my eyes
When I feel down
When I feel lonely
You're always there
You're my one and only
Honey, I know
That our love will grow
I'll never let you go
I just love you so
Those big brown eyes
They just hypnotize
I can't disguise
All my love and surprise
That big white smile
Seems to last all the while
And you light up the skies
When you look in my eyes
When I feel down
When I feel lonely
You're always there
You're my one and only
...a show with Wolfman Jack.
Who was a great,
great disc jockey.
...the-- the Raspini Brothers.
And they left their job
and became full-time jugglers.
- Now they're the top
two jugglers in the world.
They do this.
Disgusting!
I've missed you.
I know we only just met but...
...I've missed you.
Let's get out of this place.
Let's quit this paltry misery.
Suicide.
No. No, not suicide. I mean...
Let's get out of here.
Let's quit the fucking dances,
the booze, the rooms, the roofs.
This! Quit that.
Discard the stained tablecloth
of man and return to the wood.
I've been condemned to death.
I expire in the morning.
What do you mean?
I upset the cart of Mr. Fig.
His grocery lay
all over the road.
People don't hang for groceries.
No. Drowned.
I may be deformed and
half-rotted through myself,
but I will not tolerate
deception.
We should wed tomorrow.
I'll be drowned.
The drowned don't wed?
Oh... Dear Sal!
Oh, dear!
Oh, boy. Dear Sal!
Oh, dear...
Oh, dear Sal...
Oh, dear Sal...
Dear Sal.
Dear, dear Sal!
Oh, dear--
Oh, dear Sal!
Oh, dear Sal!
- Oh, dear Sal!
- Oh, dear Sal!
Dear Sal.
The time is unnoted
as my watch has stopped.
I am lying spread-eagled
upon a bed of wet bracken
staring up at the
verdant canopy,
waiting for my
forest nymph friends
to come and wash the
filth from my flesh.
Maybe they'll sing me a lullaby
with their delightful
sing-song voices.
I never heard from you again.
Now I feel like I'm
on a boat without a sail,
set helplessly adrift on an
endless ocean of septic semen.
I lurch about the deck of my
paltry vessel
and try not to hurl
as the sun is just peeking
over the distant horizon
like the head of some
gargantuan burning phallus.
I resign myself to
the incomprehensible
bowel movements of the abyss.
I care not for
what shores await,
be there shores at all!
All notions of homeland
have left me,
for I cannot remember
what home was like.
Perhaps this septic sea
was always my home, and...
...land was but a dream.
Now I'm waking up and...
...I'm beginning to see through
the stained veil of time.
I see hordes
of trolls all lined up
and frantically masturbating
into the precipice at
the end of the world.
I see flocks of chimeras
fellating themselves
in great spirals as they
move across the sky.
I can hear the tearing of
the oceans myriad vulvas
all giving birth at once,
and the shrieking
of the outraged progeny,
who immediately commence
feasting on each other
with their puckered
toothless mouths!
I see darkness...
seeing itself.
I see the cum of 10,000 giants
flooding across the land
swallowing up everyone
and everything
and everyone is drowning!
Everyone is drowning!
But I have a boat.
I am alone but...
...I have a boat.
Now, I hear my forest
nymph friends
coming to sing me to sleep.
Their tiny cocks showering me
in salubrious golden piss.
Washing away the filth.
Filling my eyes.
Filling my lungs.
Now I'm...
...swimming.
I'll write to you tomorrow.
Your friend always.