A Guide to Dating at the End of the World (2022) Movie Script
[footsteps]
[glass breaks]
[burglar alarm wails]
[alarm continues]
[synthesiser and guitar join groovy drums
in hopeful, atmospheric score]
[music continues]
[phone rings]
Hey, Jen.
Yeah, I'm at the bus stop.
Listen, Jen, I'm exhausted.
I don't know about today.
You're awfully insistent.
Wendy and George are the only
other people coming today, right?
Because, you know, you promised
to stop setting me up.
Really?
Really?
OK, alright, I'm coming.
I am not being picky.
I just...I'll know Mr Right when I see
him.
Because he'll be tall
and he'll have nice hair and a good sense
of humour and abs of steel.
No, I'm kidding.
Alright.
I'll see you in half an hour.
Bye.
[soft music playing]
What was I just saying?
Fairground Attractions, big hit
of 89.
Perfect.
It was actually meant to be
an ironic song
about people's search
for perfection in a partner.
But everyone took it on face
value, which they never intended.
Right, exactly.
And?
Well, that pretty much sums
it up, really.
Oh, God.
So, Alex,
did you know John makes 3-D movies,
don't you, John? Tell her.
Well, I'm just a
post-processer.
You deliver mail?
No, I post-process films.
What I do is I take movies
and then what I do
through the use of stereoscopic,
I grab certain footage,
well, not grab, but duplicate certain
frames and readjust them
to replicate a 3-D image artificially.
Really?
Yeah.
The whole thing is ludicrous.
I mean, people can't watch a film
anymore without it being in 3-D.
[laughs] Give me a break.
[laughs] Yeah.
Well, are we all done here?
Should we adjourn to
the living room for some coffee?
Great idea, yeah.
-And maybe we can have the telly on--
-No football.
-Yep, all right.
-I hate football.
Me too.
But I love rugby.
What?
That's a little joke.
You know, football isn't
rugby, rugby isn't soccer.
You'll have to excuse my
great sense of humour.
Humour.
Or not.
Well, why don't you guys go on in
and I'll just clear these dishes up?
Let me give you a hand.
-No, no, no, no, it's OK.
-No, it's the least I can do.
-Here, let me help, too.
-Oh, OK.
Yeah, well, we'll just be
in the living room, yeah?
Make sure everyone's right for drinks,
Ken.
Yes. Beer?
Oh, lovely.
Let me do that.
No, I'm fine, you guys just
sit in the living room.
Where is a tea towel?
I'll dry up.
Uh, it's here.
Hey?
Thanks.
So I'll just leave you guys to it
then?
What?
[laughs] So, you know Jen, huh?
Yes, well, Ken, actually.
I deal a fair bit with Ken in my job.
So, I'll go first.
Things about me, I like old
corny movies, I like old cars.
Fords are a particular favourite.
My favorite music is, I guess,
the stuff from around the late
80s, early 90s, you know,
the Stone Roses between, the Pixies,
that kind of stuff.
Say, the Joshua Tree...
[trails off inaudibly]
And OK,
it's got a different front end.
But I thought to myself, you
know, does that really matter?
So in the end, I figured,
what the hell?
You know, you only live once.
Let's go for it.
Right.
And what was it again?
The 66 Ford Falcon utility
with the 65 front end.
I decided to buy it.
Right. Yes.
[laughs] Well, I guess Jen was happy
for us to do all of this then, huh?
So how would you say
things are going here?
Well, the food was great, but
these guys
could seriously do with
a dishwasher.
I mean, between you and me.
Between you and me,
Jen is not much of a cook.
No.
I mean, how would you say things
are going between you and I?
Look, John, you're nice,
but I'm tired. And--
Wait, don't tell me just yet.
Just leave it a moment.
Leave it a moment.
I'm just trying to...
Look from my point of view,
I think things are going
really well, don't you?
No, you're all over the place
and you're not listening to me.
Jen was right.
You can be a bit of a prickly pear.
Look, Lexi.
Do you want to go out later
this night?
Lexi, prickly?
No.
So how are we going here then?
Oh, come on, guys, leave those.
I'll get the kids to load
the dishwasher in the morning.
It was awful. Terrible.
Pompous git.
I'm going straight in there
Monday morning
and I'm going to say to his face.
"No, Terry, that's not the way
we play in this department.
And you can write up your
own sloppy presentation."
[both shout]
So does anyone want a coffee?
Ken, gonna offer anybody a coffee?
Oh, anybody want coffee?
I'll have a latte. Thanks.
-Skinny latte?
-No, just a latte. Why?
Nothing. Nothing.
John?
Yeah, I'll have
a skinny latte as well. Thanks.
Gotta watch the abs of steel.
So?
What? So?
Him, why?
No, there's nothing.
Really.
Are you sure?
I thought you guys would be
absolutely perfect together.
You keep saying that.
Well, if that's all that's left,
I'd rather be alone. Seriously.
You know what your problem is?
You're too picky but you're
impatient too.
Too picky or a prickly pear?
Oh, crap.
He told you that.
Ha.
If John so bloody wonderful.
How come he doesn't have
a girlfriend?
Same reason you don't have
a boyfriend.
Bitch.
When was the last time you even
had sex?
Oh, my God,
can we not do this?
Maybe you're just sexually frustrated
and you're taking it out on men.
I am not sexually frustrated.
[beeping]
Oh, thank Christ.
Hang on. I don't believe this.
My boss just texted.
The presentation has been bumped up.
We have to finish it tomorrow.
-What?
-Sunday?
So are you going to tell him
to do it himself, aren't you?
Oh, let's be real.
I'm going to have to do it.
Thank you.
Good night, everyone.
Nice to meet you.
Alex,
so when are you free again?
Did we already do this?
Okay, let's see.
When am I free?
Oh, here we go.
How's post-apocalypse sound for you?
Good?
OK, I'll see you then.
Hey,
you can't blame a guy for trying.
I won't take no for an answer.
OK, you win.
Come on.
Excuse me, everyone.
I have an announcement to make.
As God is my witness, I will
never go out with this man.
I wouldn't go out with you
if you were the last man on earth.
Last man in Perth?
Last man, what?
No, Earth, last man on Earth.
Why would I say Perth?
I'm sorry,
I'm from Western Australia.
I guess I'm just homesick.
[television playing]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Hi.
Have you calmed down?
Jen, please.
I'm sorry, I know I acted
like a total moron,
but I really can't talk
about this right now.
You didn't like him?
Clearly, I'm not making
myself understood tonight.
No, I did not like him.
It's not me.
It's him.
Please stop setting me up.
Promise.
Alex, I'm not gonna promise.
Promise.
OK, you're busy.
You gonna get it all done.
Yeah. Well, no.
There's so much work to do.
I'm going to have to get in
first thing in the morning.
You know, his family owns
the drive-in down the coast.
Jen.
Good night.
Good night.
[Female on the television]
This would still be safe.
[soft music plays]
[phone vibrating]
I wish everyone
would just leave me alone.
[sighs] Well.
[quirky music plays]
[music intensifies]
[vibrating and moaning]
[alarm clock blaring]
I didn't finish it.
[typing]
[sighs]
[phone rings]
[Ken]
Hello, what's going on?
[Jen] Oh, come on, Ken, we're not
doing a prank message.
-[Ken] All right.
-[Jen] You called Ken and Jen.
Please leave a message.
Hey, Jen, it's me, if you guys
are there, can you pick up?
Hello?
Can you pick up if you are there,
guys?
OK, well.
Is there something going on today
that I don't know about
because the city is dead, there's nobody
here?
Um...
Yeah, it's just weird, so,
yeah, give me a call.
Or actually, I might come over.
Yeah.
[soft music playing]
[pedestrian light signals]
[knocking]
Jen, are you there?
Guys? I'm coming in.
[sombre music plays]
[upbeat rock music plays]
Technically, it's not a home
invasion, it's house sitting.
["Ready or Not!" By RACKETT plays]
[song abruptly cuts off]
[gentle music playing]
Hello and welcome to the show.
Today, I thought we try a little
something
I've been working on this week.
Remember, as a child,
your parents leaving
you alone at home on a Friday night.
Such wonderful memories.
Well, now you can relive these
magic moments simply by gathering
a few choice ingredients
from around the house.
Here's one that I prepared earlier.
[moans]
Delicious.
Pump!
["Tried to Quit" by RACKETT plays]
Hello.
Right, so it's week five day
whatever
of the land where everybody pissed off.
I'm living on canned food and I've
taken up smoking because, why not?
I gotta say, though, this
doesn't feel like hell,
hell would have to be worse
than this, just being alone.
If there is anyone out there,
don't despair, I will find you.
Actually, I probably won't find
you, but still don't despair.
Look to yourself,
to your inner strength.
To your "key". Chi.
"Chai"?
I have to google it.
Oh no, wait, I can't.
They must have done
something before the internet.
I will look it up in a book.
Ha.
[bell jingles]
[coughing]
I think I swallowed my toothpick.
You've got to be kidding me.
Oh my God, Lexie?
-Alex.
-Alex.
-So.
-So.
-Alex?
-Yes.
-Not Lexie.
-No.
-John.
-John, yes.
-Wow.
-Yes.
The Falcon XPT.
The front end is the...
it doesn't matter.
What are you doing? Right now, I mean.
I just...
Oh no, you know.
Check your diary
and see how are you going
for the apocalypse if you're busy.
Still cultivating that
sense of humour, I see.
Wow, nice place.
You did well.
Hey.
I've always lived here.
My parents live upstairs.
I got a place at the back.
They didn't disappear
either.
No, they're gone.
Just didn't feel right to move up
there.
No.
Where would you hide the bodies?
Besides,
all my stuff is here.
Cuppa?
Yeah, thank you.
What's this?
This is my theory on what
happened.
After I realized everyone was really
gone,
I went back through
all the old news items.
It's the best I could come up with.
I hadn't noticed that necklace
before.
Yeah, I...
found it.
Surprised anyone could lose it,
it's huge.
Yeah.
How are you doing all this?
All this?
Lights, refrigerator, gas.
The lights run off a solar
power grid.
Everything else runs on
a three-phase, biodiesel generator.
Did you see the truck
at the front of the cage back end?
Mm-hmm.
That's full of gas bottles
for the Weber on the deck.
You've got a Weber.
Of course, you know,
it's like Crowded House say.
Everywhere you go, always take
the weather, the weather with you.
Have you seen anyone else?
No, just you.
You're it.
What's a hadron?
A hadron? Um, OK...
A hadron is one of the basic
building blocks of the universe,
or rather it's made of
the basic elements of creation.
Do you have any understanding
of string theory?
Less than any?
Well, just imagine there's
a theory which postulates
that the crashing together of hadrons
with enough force behind it
could prove the existence
of transdimensional universes,
amongst other things.
Like what?
Like have you heard of the
God particle?
The God particle?
Oh, well, that's one of the most
interesting usages of it, I think.
The God particle is this
theorized particle
which could hold all
the secrets of the universe.
You explain things well.
Not according to my
accountant.
Your hair looks much better
by the way.
Great title.
Oh, that's a present from
Ken.
He swears by it.
I bet he does.
I got stuck on step five, never take no
for the final answer.
Uh-huh.
Here we are.
A chick will always say no
as a knee-jerk defence mechanism,
because she isn't bright enough
to know what else to do.
You use this time wisely to keep up
a firm but friendly push
to see each other again.
This is a fail safe method
unless the woman is adamant.
A clue will be if she stands up
and declares that she wouldn't
see you again even if you
were the last man on Earth.
No way.
It actually says that?
No.
No, of course not.
But look, you got to stage six,
getting the chick home.
I just don't get any funny ideas,
buddy.
What, like evolution
or special relativity?
Exactly.
[rattling]
Possums?
I sure hope so.
I'm not too worried,
I'm carrying protection.
And why do you have
one of those?
The taser?
No, why do you have
a lady razor?
No, this is the real deal.
No, this is the real deal.
It just must be a different model.
Here.
I'll show you.
I don't understand.
[he groans]
You OK?
I'm just fine.
I think I'm just
gonna lie here a moment.
Hello boys and girls.
We are making a cup of tea,
aren't we, Eric?
Yes, we are, John.
We know a song about that,
don't we, Eric?
Yes, we do.
Would you like to sing that song?
Would you?
I'm a little teapot,
short and stout
Here is my handle,
here is my spout
When I get all steamed up,
then I shout
Ahhh, boiling water. Ahh!
We're burnt. Ahh, it burns!
Why, John? Every morning,
it's always the same.
Cuppa?
On the veranda, thanks.
It's OK.
She didn't see anything.
Thank you.
Oh, and thanks for a lovely evening.
So what are your plans for today?
Well, I should probably
stick to the routine, you know.
Make sure the generators fuelled
and oiled,
top up the hot water system,
check the water tanks,
keep working on
the EMF duplifying
magnetron network.
You have a hot water
system?
Yeah.
Which means you can have
hot showers.
Well, sure.
OK, I haven't had a hot
shower in weeks.
Would you mind?
Would I mind what?
Oh, what was the other thing,
the ELO--
The EMF Magnetron
Duplicator.
Yeah, well, if my theory is
correct, I think I can reverse
what's happened and get
us back to--
Right. Actually I can hear
the shower calling my name.
Well maybe I can show it to
you later on.
Sounds great.
Can't stop.
[water running]
[Alex] Oh, so good!
I sure am glad I had a shower
before you brought me up here.
Yeah, it's a bit of a climb
since the power went out.
Oh, I'll be fine.
I just need to sit. Or lie down.
You'll get your breath back
faster if you walk it off.
So, cables?
-Yeah.
-Why do you have cables?
Well, I'm binding them
together.
You're binding them?
-Yeah.
-Why?
Well, I'm building an array and the
thicker cables give off better EMR.
Yeah, I've heard that.
Sorry.
What are you doing up here again?
OK, well, I'm binding the
cables together
to give at least four inch diameter,
and then I'm stretching
them out across the city,
over the rooftops, see.
Oh my God.
That stretches
halfway around the city.
Once I complete the loop,
I can fire it up and hopefully
recreate the conditions that got us here.
Hmm.
So we're up here binding,
huh?
Yeah, but it's hard work.
You don't have to help out
if you don't want to.
I'm happy to keep plodding along.
And there's a bit of a trick to it.
It might take an amateur
a while to pick it up.
Amateur huh?
Give me a go.
So what gave you the idea
to do all this?
Well, I was thinking about the 3-D process
and thought that surely
if I can replicate and duplify
an EMF signal with multiple cables,
then I should be able to create a
stereo model
of the Higgs boson concept.
And then thought about string
theory,
which would suggest that
that would be
far more impact over a greater area.
You know, I told you last
night, you explain things well.
Vaguely?
I was wrong.
Got any plans for tonight?
Nah.
Keeping my options open.
Thought I might go to the
movies.
Wanna come?
Neh.
Alright then.
[woman] That was 20 years ago.
[movie continues indistinctly]
So you like corny movies?
I like this one.
Big crowd tonight.
Yeah, yeah.
Twice as many as last
time I came out here.
Last time?
Yeah, well.
I confess I've come here a bit.
Impress the girls, you know.
Uh-huh.
And how did you impress the girls?
Nepotism.
My dad ran the place.
Wow.
Can you really get me in for free,
Johnny?
And free cordial,
all you can drink.
I get the run of the place now.
Chilly.
Here.
Sexy.
So you and your dad.
Used to hang out here
while he was working.
Then he got sick
and he slowed right down.
Oh.
Nah, what can you do?
He's happy now. Or was.
I had him all set up with the biggest
video projector I could find,
and he's happy just to sit there
and watch his favorite films.
Here,
let me show you my favorite trick.
Where are you going?
OK, watch the screen.
That's brilliant.
Come here, I'll show you how to do it!
OK. Make a cat.
No, no, I wanna make a dog.
Alright. Here.
Put your hands together.
Yep, these two.
Yeah.
And wrap those two around them.
-No, no I can't.
-Yeah. Like that.
-Is that it?
-Yeah.
It doesn't look right.
It's a dog monster.
Oh, there! That's it!
-There he is.
-Yeah.
Now how do I make him bark?
These bottom two.
Yeah, yeah, like that.
[barking like a dog]
Well, you know, where there
is dogs, there is cats.
That's a bit silly, I know.
You're not silly.
You're funny.
Funny looking maybe.
No, you're not.
Actually you are kind of
funny looking.
Well, better than your dog.
[kettle whistling]
Morning, sleepyhead.
-Mmh.
Coffee?
Where's Eric?
I thought he made the coffee.
Ah, no, he only makes the tea.
Can't trust him with
the coffee, never could.
-So.
-So.
About last night.
Mmm.
I had a great time.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
Well, maybe next time we come out here,
we can have a bit more fun.
What do you mean?
Next time I bring you out here,
maybe could do something a bit more fun.
More fun?
Yeah, I got to say,
I reckon it's probably a while
since either of us had some fun.
It's been a while, has it?
Is that what Jen told you?
Jen? No.
Oh, I meant more fun.
Yeah, I know what you meant.
No, but see,
you're talking about...
God, you guys are just great,
even in a freaking world wide
catastrophe,
you just can't wait to
stick your little thingy
into some poor unsuspecting
sap/
No, I didn't mean...
little thingy?
I bet this whole setup was designed
just to impress someone like me.
The drive in, the Holden ute.
-It's a Ford.
-Whatever.
You've been waiting your
whole life for this.
Well, I'm here to inform you that
it is nothing that's working on me.
Well, it wouldn't, would it?
-What's that supposed to mean?
-Oh, come on.
You want this bloody perfect bloody man,
but let me tell you something for
nothing,
that man only exists in your
imagination.
Sure as hell isn't standing around
here.
-You can say that again.
-Oh, ha ha ha ha.
Yeah, you wanna call a spade a
spade?
You're no prize yourself, you know.
Excuse me?
Oh, don't get all, "Excuse me,"
on me.
I can see through your act,
you know,
I don't have to tiptoe around
you if I don't want to.
Oh, you've been tippy toeing,
have you?
Maybe I have.
Maybe I have.
Well, permission to stop
tiptoeing.
Well, I don't need your
permission to stop tiptoeing,
I don't need your permission at all.
And if it wasn't for whatever
happened,
you wouldn't even have me
and we wouldn't even have this.
So, there you go.
Well, I didn't realize how
lucky I was to have this.
Yeah, well, now,
you know when I say this.
No, John, let me tell you
about this.
No, I didn't mean.
No, Mr. "I'm the last man on
earth, and I'm so clever."
This whatever this is, it's over.
What does that mean?
You are now officially
free to see other people.
What?
Alex.
Oh, and by the way,
last night, your smooth talking,
it could use some work.
Here's a tip.
Nobody says panties.
What are you living in a 70s?
Panties?
What are you talking about?
Well, you went on and on
about them in your sleep.
They're not panties,
they're knickers.
Oh, yeah.
That's real sexy talk.
Hey, baby, let me dribble
off your knickers.
Dribble off?
What books are you reading?
Alex?
Don't go. I didn't mean anything I said.
I don't care.
Good bye.
See you around the trap.
[clattering]
Is this the way you keep all your
girlfriends when they wanna leave?
This is no amateur rig.
Someone really knows their stuff.
Just give me a minute to
figure out how this works.
How this...Cut me down.
Well, bugger me dead.
What have we here?
-Nothing.
-You OK?
Are you normal?
Yeah, we're both, thanks.
Yeah, I'm not so sure I'm comfortable
with you calling yourself normal.
-Shut up.
-I'm cufflinks.
Cufflinks?
Yeah it's a nickname you can
call me Wendy
if it makes you more comfortable.
-So your real name?
-No.
I'm John, this is Alex.
Well, hello to you both.
How did you find us?
I was on my way to check out
the traps.
When I saw you both.
I thought I'd lie low and suss you out a
bit first.
How long have you been here?
Oh, about 10 minutes or so.
Trucks over there.
I guess you guys didn't hear it
because you were so engrossed.
Wow!
Wow!
So what's with the traps then?
I noticed a few possums around here
and I thought I'd try and catch one.
And of course, once I figured
what happened with the whole
"everybody go bye bye" thing.
Do you have fuel?
[both] You know what happened.
[CROSSTALK] Oh, I know
exactly what happened.
I mean, I guess it all makes sense
with the possums being nocturnal, yeah.
OK, why don't you guys come
back to my place
and I'll tell you exactly what
happened and why we're here.
You do have a car or something,
don't you?
Yeah,
it's that OJ Holden over there.
Hey, isn't that a 1966
Ford XP Falcon utility?
Yeah, it is only if it's got
a 65 front end and we're sort of
not driving that. The engine's cactus.
Had to push it into place.
Had to push it?
Where from?
I'd rather not talk about it.
Um, our car is actually
out behind projector room.
Righto, what you guys wanna lift
your car?
No, thanks.
We'll walk.
I'll see you there.
I don't like this.
What the following?
Well, you know, while that
is creepy and all,
something just feels wrong.
Call it a sixth sense.
I'm just gonna concentrate on
my cool walking.
Straight arms, squinty eyes.
OK, guys, follow me.
It's only about 10 minutes
to my place from here.
That allowing for traffic?
I can drive.
So you live here?
Oh, well, you know it's my workshop.
Makes sense to crash where you work.
It's be a great place
to hide the bodies.
[laughter]
You're running 240?
Oh, no, 110.
I can only find Yank converters.
Yeah, tell me about it.
So is the solar running the
lights?
No, the solar heats the water
and keeps the fridge running.
Sweet.
What,
you running on your solar?
No, I converted a three phase
Genny.
-Diesel?
-Bio.
Where the bloody hell did you
get that?
Oh, fish and chip shops, mostly.
KFC, McDonald's, Hungry Jacks.
Anywhere with the deep fryer.
Hungry?
I can probably run it for
about four days without refuelling.
I mean, are you hungry?
So why us?
Said you'll tell us your theory.
What were you doing at a
quarter past three
on the morning
of the 31st of March?
I was sleeping.
What about you?
Yeah, sleeping.
-Oh.
-[both] What?
You see, I know what it is
you were doing.
-I was doing it myself.
-Hey?
At 3:15 a.m. our time
on the 31st of March 2010
was the precise moment that the first
Hadron collision
took place in Switzerland.
You see,
the goal of this experiment was
to find the existence of a particle.
-The God particle.
-Yeah, right.
But instead, I believe there's
been a particle shift
which has caused a wormhole and
transported the three of us here.
To another dimension,
most likely.
A duplicate Earth populated solely by us.
You explain things well.
Not according to my
accountant.
[laughter]
You see, my theory is that the
brainwave
fluctuations that occurred during
or directly after sexual activity
are somehow
connected to the particle shift.
Particle shift?
Sexual activity?
Well, at first I thought
it was just, you know,
sexual activity in
the general sense because,
well, that's what I was doing.
And then I thought about it
and I thought
surely there would have been more people
doing the deed, yeah?
Therefore, we can assume that
the shift must have been
triggered by the hormone that
happens when you orgasm,
-Orgasm?
-Orgasm.
-Orgasm
-Orgasms.
-Orgasms?
-Orgasms?
Orgasms.
-You've got a little bit of--
-What? Oh.
Yeah, just...
Nah, it's got to be said, I don't
normally clock my orgasms,
but I do know I had one at 12
minutes past three that morning.
How do you know?
Like I said, I don't normally
clock them,
but I do know that Todd took me into
the height of pleasure at the exact
moment the experiment was going on.
I'm still not sure whether
it was because of his expert manipulations
or the excitement of knowing that
I was consigning my orgasm
with the most exciting
experiment to happen on
the planet this century.
And where is Todd?
Oh, Todd never comes with me.
He likes to make sure I'm
highly satisfied first.
Then I spend about an hour
doing the same thing to him.
So, I guess you two are doing
the deed as well, yeah?
Huh?
Us?
Aren't you two?
-Oh.
-Oh, God, no.
Well you were having sex with
someone.
[both stammering]
-Not so much with...
-Not exactly...someone.
Oh.
Well, least I have enough
swags for all of us.
Although I would ask that you
refrain from...
Just makes for needless washing.
I'm not a fan of washing.
Hey, are you awake?
Can you believe it, I'm still cold.
And I wanted to say I'm
sorry for this morning.
It's stupid for us to
fight, don't you think?
I know you're gonna say you were to
blame.
Maybe you have a point.
John?
[distant laughter and chatter]
That is funny.
You are so funny.
Am I really funny?
Well, funny looking maybe.
Oh, well, all I can say is
thank God that the last
man on earth is funny,
you're not funny looking.
In fact, you're kind of cute.
Hey, you don't mind if I dribble these
pants off you?
Oh, don't worry, I'll keep my panties on.
I'm not trying to seduce you or
anything.
[chatter continues]
[mock laughing]
My name is Wendy, I'm so clever, I'm
packing the car.
OK.
It's on.
There you are. Didn't know
where you'd gone to.
So what's happening?
Taking a trip, a secret
American military base.
Secret American military
base, can you believe that?
And where is this so-called
secret American base?
Secret American military base.
Well, it's a secret, of course.
Luckily, my parents had an old
map which had a clue on it.
Governments with so much
more open back in the 1950s,
That's not far from here at all.
Why would they build
a base so close to the city?
Bloody urban sprawl.
And what exactly are we going
to do at this SAM?
Well, I've figured out how to
reverse this whole mess.
Sure could use some help
if you guys want to come.
Reverse what exactly?
Well everything.
We'll be able to get back.
Back to our lives.
We won't be alone anymore.
-Well--
-Sounds like a great idea.
What about your idea?
Your plan?
What did you have in mind?
Oh, nothing really.
As a matter of fact, John was
gonna set up a web of three
inch cables and create gamma
rays to transport us back.
Oh, that's good.
That's really good.
Are you serious?
Well, it's just something to
do.
Just something to do.
Where are you going to power it?
Electrical storm?
Or more likely, several electrical
storms striking simultaneously.
Tell her, John.
Yeah, I guess I hadn't really
thought that far ahead.
You hadn't thought that far
ahead?
Well, I had to do something.
Whoa, guys, it's OK.
It's not that big a deal, you know.
It's always important
to keep your hands busy.
Look, um, the morning's getting
away from me, so I got to get going.
Like I said, you're more
than welcome to come.
Otherwise, I'll see you later, yeah?
Maybe we should go.
Help her out.
-What do you think?
-What do I think?
I think you stop thinking
every time she's around.
-I...hey?
-Nothing.
Guess we should go.
Great. I can only have one in the front
though, road rules and all that.
Shot gun.
Of course.
There's a secret American
military base here?
I had no idea.
Yeah, well, it's a secret but
they left some markers here
so you could easily find it.
I changed the password
when I found this place.
You can't be too careful
about protection, can you?
What?
There it is.
The base is down this ladder.
Oh, I should point out, though,
if you cross this threshold,
there's no turning back.
Once the wheel's moving,
it can't be stopped.
So if you're coming down,
you're 100 percent committed.
OK?
OK.
So the bigger decision than
we were first led to believe, hey, John?
What do you think?
John?
Lights.
They're running that
bio-watcha-ma-call-it thing here, too.
Oh, no, this is hooked up to
the emergency grid connected
to the Snowy Mountains.
Endless power supply.
Silly me.
OK, well, I'll check launch progress and
initiate flight patterns.
John, you know how to convert
global positioning from
the old American standards,
don't you?
I might need to brush up.
Oh, no worries. It's easy, I'll show you.
See, look. What you need to do
is you take this first digit and then you
transpose--
i might need to brush up too.
Yeah, I guessed that.
So what is your plan exactly?
Well, like most big
thermonuclear weapons,
to start a fusion reaction,
you need a fusion primer.
This is called the primary stage
trigger.
Now, this creates so many
crazy hot particles that it
triggers a second fusion
reaction or the big boom.
Now it is theorized that
a fusion reaction with
sufficient mass could
create a singularity.
Right?
Maybe I should have said,
"What's your plan in general?"
Well, a singularity, the
point at which matter becomes
infinitely dense,
should create a wormhole.
How do you know all this
stuff?
I have a PhD in physics.
I majored in Einstein-Rosen Bridge.
Wormhole Theory.
So you're suggesting we
set off a whole bunch of
thermonuclear weapons
to create a wormhole?
Oh, wait a minute.
There are nuclear weapons here?
Oh, there are a couple in Australia.
Pine Gap, Maralinga, Dubbo.
But we can control every launch
pad in the world from here.
Because all I've been doing
for the last five weeks
is cracking passwords
to major installations,
sorting various yields and
detonators,
initiating prelaunch sequences
and working at various trajectories.
This is what you've been doing
for the last five weeks?
Mostly, yeah.
Well, I could have played dress ups
and driven around ranting on my CV
but how pathetic would that be?
So where are we in this
scenario?
Oh, close enough to
the source of the explosion
to be assured of being
sucked into the wormhole,
which I figure is about
here if we detonate
for an airburst of about a thousand
metres.
Sorry, we're actually gonna
be standing at ground zero?
Well, yeah.
And what happens then?
What happens then?
The reverse of what happened
the first time course.
Right. Of course.
So we will all go back
to where we came from
back to the night when this all
happened.
Exactly.
And you're positive this will
work?
That's the beauty of it.
If it works, then we go home.
And if it doesn't,
instantly vaporized.
Can I speak to you in private?
OK. Would you excuse us a
moment, please?
Sure.
I don't know about you,
but I've eaten trail mix
less nutty and fruity than that.
-What do you mean?
-What do I mean?
Well, if we believe for two seconds
that this so-called military base
can do what she says it can,
unless I'm mistaken,
she's talking about
standing directly under
a nuclear explosion in the hope -
the hope - that it might
just create a wormhole.
I don't know.
The theory is sound.
Don't worry, I get it, John.
Get what?
Well, now that you've consummated your
love with Little Miss Angsty Pants.
Consummated? Angsty pants?
I'm sorry, should I have
said angsty panties?
You're talking gibberish.
She could be a genius.
A beautiful genius, yes.
Beautiful?
Listen, shut up.
Some risks they're worth taking
but this?
We could die.
You're right, I mean,
it's a bit different now,
but it's totally liveable.
I thought you'd say that.
Let's go break it to her.
We are not going with you.
Oh, really?
Oh, I don't know, Alex,
I guess I must have
suspected you were gonna say that.
This woman does not speak for me.
Then get over here.
You're gonna shoot me now, you
can't wait another hour or so?
Johnny, can you grab that
gaffer tape, please?
Johnny? Bleuch.
Bind her good.
OK, now all we need is some train
tracks.
You know what, Alexsi?
I have been wanting to do this since the
first moment I saw you.
Well, the bombs are well
and truly on their way.
Should be here in T minus
one hour and 36 minutes.
They will all come, Johnny,
and we'll set things right.
[grunts]
Is that grunting bothering
you?
No.
I've trained myself to
ignore minor irritations.
'Cause it's doing my head in.
No worries.
Uh, what's that?
It's a sap.
You use it to knock people out.
Or I can just take her
into the other room?
Either way, but take this
in case she gets feisty.
Why do you have one of
these?
It's a sex thing.
[groaning]
Traitor.
I'll be happy just
to see you flash fry.
-Shh!
-Do you really think your girlfriend's
gonna take you through her enchanted
physics hole
and back to
the land of the happy leprechauns?
Wendy's great.
She's gonna get us back home.
She's a lunatic, a fruitcake,
a picnic blanket short of
a picnic blanket out of a...
Please don't tape my mouth again.
[squeals]
[shouting] If only you
knew how great Wendy is.
[whispering] OK, that's not true.
I agree with you.
She's nuts.
[shouting] I see it in her
but you don't wanna see it.
[whispering] Again, not true.
I'm crazy about you, Alex.
I've been crazy about you since the moment
I met you at Jen and Ken's.
[shouting] So I'm going back to
the other side with Wendy.
And we are going to breed
beautiful children,
even though we have not
consummated our relationship yet.
[whispering] Nothing happened with
Wendy last night, I swear it.
You swear it?
Yeah, well, of course.
I knew it.
I can't wait to meet you
in the real world, Johnny.
You will not regret this.
[muffled shouting]
-I'm taking us home.
-Home?
What are you doing?
A razor?
What?
Oh, you kinky...
Listen, I can shave
later, you dirty old man.
Right now, I don't have time.
Stupid, lousy taser razor.
[muffled sounds]
-Oh, and I just had another thought.
-What's that, babe?
After I've finished the
reconfiguration,
there's something else
we need to be doing.
Oh, yeah?
Orgasming at the time of
critical mass.
Oh.
It's the only way to make
sure that the wormhole
reopens and we remember everything.
Some of us will be going home soon.
[muffled shouting]
Gentle.
I am home.
You are home?
I don't understand.
-What do you mean?
-Before.
She said...
Before she said we're going home.
It doesn't matter.
Come on.
We've got to stop these
bombs from going off.
Well, come on.
Oh.
[chuckles]
I'm a goose.
Yes, would you hurry up?
-What are you doing?
-I don't know.
Maybe I can divert the missiles.
If we can just figure out
the guidance system.
The one that took Wendy
five weeks to figure out?
Yeah.
You're gonna figure that
out in less than an hour?
Well, how hard could it be?
Maybe if I just press this button.
[siren sounds]
[automated voice]
Missile profiles accelerated.
Detonation now in two...
Accelerated.
How the hell do you accelerate a missile?
Two minutes?
It's too late!
-But that means...
-I know.
Unless...wait.
-Climax.
-Yeah. Yeah.
You could say this is a bit of a
climax.
No. We both have to orgasm when the
bombs hit.
Both of us at the same time?
Well, this is how we got
here in the first place.
Like Wendy was saying,
the things, or...
whatever that we released when we...
It'll stop us forgetting.
We'll remember everything.
OK, I suppose that makes
sense.
I don't wanna forget this, John,
so we have to have these orgasms.
-Come on.
-We haven't even kissed.
I mean, you know, can't we
at least work up to this?
-You said you loved me.
-I think what I said was...
-We have less than a minute.
-Less than a minute.
OK. I'm not saying I'm not
capable of performing here,
but, you know, I just thought, oh,
my God.
Oh, the concrete is cold.
-Come on.
-You're not helping here.
I mean, you're meant to
be saying something sexy.
Sexy?
How about um, hot stuff.
Hot stuff?
You see that makes panty sound like gold.
[dramatic music playing]
I think I'm gonna...
-No, hang on.
-What? Hang on?
Is this good?
Oh, yes.
No, no, shit.
Oh, yes.
Oh, there it is.
OK.
Oh, God, don't stop.
Don't stop what?
What am I doing?
Oh, shut up, I think.
[heavy breathing]
Oh, yes.
Oh, God, yes.
[both shouting]
[explosion]
[man] Yeah, baby,
the earth just moved.
-[chuckles]
-No, no, I don't think so.
I think the earth is
exactly where we left it.
Oh, you came all right.
Big time.
Afraid not, Todd ball.
Barely registered.
Pity.
I was trying to come
with a Hadron collision.
The what?
You're a weird chick, you know that?
[alarm clock blaring]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
[woman] Alex, can you hear me?
Where the hell are you?
Where am I?
That's a very good question.
Where the hell are you?
I beg your pardon?
It's 9:15, Alex,
why aren't you here?
I am here.
I am here.
Oh, my God, you little pearler.
What?
Get down here right away, Alex.
That presentation needs to
be finished right now.
No, no, I'll be in later.
What?
Actually, I've got a lot of
stuff I need to do today.
A whole lot of stuff.
Consider this a resignation.
Resignation?
[muffled shouts through the phone]
Oh, for crying out--
John.
Hello, I need the number for a John
um...
Actually, scrap that.
I need the number for a guy
in Taringa who posts films.
No, he turns
classic films into 3D films.
2B Or Not 3D.
That'll be it.
Yep, OK, thanks.
Yes, I'll hold.
Hello.
Thank you for calling 2B Or Not 3D.
Please leave a message after the
beep.
[BEEP]
John?
Hey, we're back.
It's me.
I'm coming over, so don't try and
find me.
Stay where you are.
Oh.
It's you.
You remember?
How could I forget?
Despite what you may think it's not
every day
I'm personally humiliated like that.
Sorry?
Is that an apology for
yesterday?
Yesterday?
Oh, you don't remember
anything else?
Like what?
Any other insults?
To be honest, I'm trying not
to let that one sink in.
OK, you don't remember the
rooftop?
The drive-in?
The crazy Wendy chick?
I remember a crazy chick.
-You do?
-No, no, you're the crazy chick.
Oh. Um...
OK.
So, I've had a lot of time
to think since yesterday
and you're not as bad as I thought.
Right.
Um, OK.
What I'm trying to say is I'd be willing
to give you another chance.
Wait.
Look, Alex, I'm not the last man on earth,
you don't have to worry.
Now, if you don't mind,
I've got a classic film in here
that I'm trying to convert to 3D.
You think you know someone,
huh?
I mean, we saved the world together.
I can't believe he wouldn't
give me another shot.
-Why wouldn't he?
-Here, drink this?
Hopefully, you'll make
it back to this planet.
So, the guy doesn't like me.
He fell in love with me.
He told me, well, indirectly,
no, very directly,
that he'd fallen in love with me
the moment he set eyes on me.
They all say that, hon.
They're just bastards.
If he loves me so much, how
come he can't
get over my behaviour yesterday?
The other day.
Whenever the hell it was.
Oh, good morning.
What's going on?
Well, Alex got caught
in a black hole.
Wormhole.
Sorry, wormhole and just
spent the last
five weeks in an alternate universe
where John was the last man on earth
and they both fell deeply in love.
But now John can't remember any of it
and doesn't want a bar of her.
He's probably at that
stupid drive-in right now.
Huh, I bet he is.
All on his lonesome, "'Cause
someone's gotta run the cinema."
Alex, maybe what you need
to do right now is rest.
Why don't you lie down
in the spare room?
Hmm?
OK, thanks for the tea.
[gentle music plays]
[movie plays indistinctly]
You.
I want to apologise.
Apologise?
For the other...
For yesterday.
Oh?
I did not give you a chance
and now that
I've had time to get to know you...
to think about what you were
trying to tell me, I think...
I firmly believe that we could
maybe...
I don't know.
Would you be interested
in seeing me again?
Is this some kind of joke?
Are you working for Prank
Patrol or something?
No.
It's legit.
Please forgive my scepticism,
but you did say to me
you wouldn't go out with me
if I was the last man on earth.
Yeah, I was wrong about that.
I would.
Well, that's an ego boost.
Thanks.
You'll excuse my blushing.
Wow.
This is all going so wrong.
I'm sorry.
[gentle music plays]
Alex.
You were right about me.
I just read this stupid,
stupid book.
'Ten Steps to Getting the Girl You Want,
Even If She Doesn't Want You'.
Oh, God.
You've read the book.
A little.
Is there a chance we can
start afresh?
No games this time.
I'd really like that.
Do you like corny movies?
I love corny movies.
I like your necklace.
["Atomic Electric"
by Rebecca's Empire plays]
Fuck. Sorry.
Hang on, wait.
Yeah, the whole thing is
ludicrous.
What people can't watch a 3D film
anymore without it being in 3D?
From my point of view,
I think things are going great.
Sorry.
[giggling]
Laughing in anticipation.
That's how funny I am.
Sorry, sorry, fuck sorry.
Still rolling.
-All she has to do is sleep.
-Oh, God.
Really? Then why did the lead singer
form a band called
the Patron Saints
of Imperfection, hey?
It's 'cause she wanted
to disabuse people
of the idea that [speaks gibberish].
I don't know.
I fucked that up completely.
Sorry.
[man] Still rolling.
Don't.
[snores]
[laughter]
Hello.
We're making a...
Fuck.
I'm so sorry.
[man] Cut, cut, cut.
Oh, well, I should probably
stick to the routine.
[Alex] What do you mean?
I should probably stick to
the routine.
[Alex] What do you mean?
Well, make sure
the generators fuelled and oiled,
top up the hot water tanks, chip...
Oh, for fuck's sake.
That's my phone.
[cheering and applause]
You got any plans for
tonight?
Nah.
I'm keeping my options open.
'Cause I thought I might
take you to a strip club.
[glass breaks]
[burglar alarm wails]
[alarm continues]
[synthesiser and guitar join groovy drums
in hopeful, atmospheric score]
[music continues]
[phone rings]
Hey, Jen.
Yeah, I'm at the bus stop.
Listen, Jen, I'm exhausted.
I don't know about today.
You're awfully insistent.
Wendy and George are the only
other people coming today, right?
Because, you know, you promised
to stop setting me up.
Really?
Really?
OK, alright, I'm coming.
I am not being picky.
I just...I'll know Mr Right when I see
him.
Because he'll be tall
and he'll have nice hair and a good sense
of humour and abs of steel.
No, I'm kidding.
Alright.
I'll see you in half an hour.
Bye.
[soft music playing]
What was I just saying?
Fairground Attractions, big hit
of 89.
Perfect.
It was actually meant to be
an ironic song
about people's search
for perfection in a partner.
But everyone took it on face
value, which they never intended.
Right, exactly.
And?
Well, that pretty much sums
it up, really.
Oh, God.
So, Alex,
did you know John makes 3-D movies,
don't you, John? Tell her.
Well, I'm just a
post-processer.
You deliver mail?
No, I post-process films.
What I do is I take movies
and then what I do
through the use of stereoscopic,
I grab certain footage,
well, not grab, but duplicate certain
frames and readjust them
to replicate a 3-D image artificially.
Really?
Yeah.
The whole thing is ludicrous.
I mean, people can't watch a film
anymore without it being in 3-D.
[laughs] Give me a break.
[laughs] Yeah.
Well, are we all done here?
Should we adjourn to
the living room for some coffee?
Great idea, yeah.
-And maybe we can have the telly on--
-No football.
-Yep, all right.
-I hate football.
Me too.
But I love rugby.
What?
That's a little joke.
You know, football isn't
rugby, rugby isn't soccer.
You'll have to excuse my
great sense of humour.
Humour.
Or not.
Well, why don't you guys go on in
and I'll just clear these dishes up?
Let me give you a hand.
-No, no, no, no, it's OK.
-No, it's the least I can do.
-Here, let me help, too.
-Oh, OK.
Yeah, well, we'll just be
in the living room, yeah?
Make sure everyone's right for drinks,
Ken.
Yes. Beer?
Oh, lovely.
Let me do that.
No, I'm fine, you guys just
sit in the living room.
Where is a tea towel?
I'll dry up.
Uh, it's here.
Hey?
Thanks.
So I'll just leave you guys to it
then?
What?
[laughs] So, you know Jen, huh?
Yes, well, Ken, actually.
I deal a fair bit with Ken in my job.
So, I'll go first.
Things about me, I like old
corny movies, I like old cars.
Fords are a particular favourite.
My favorite music is, I guess,
the stuff from around the late
80s, early 90s, you know,
the Stone Roses between, the Pixies,
that kind of stuff.
Say, the Joshua Tree...
[trails off inaudibly]
And OK,
it's got a different front end.
But I thought to myself, you
know, does that really matter?
So in the end, I figured,
what the hell?
You know, you only live once.
Let's go for it.
Right.
And what was it again?
The 66 Ford Falcon utility
with the 65 front end.
I decided to buy it.
Right. Yes.
[laughs] Well, I guess Jen was happy
for us to do all of this then, huh?
So how would you say
things are going here?
Well, the food was great, but
these guys
could seriously do with
a dishwasher.
I mean, between you and me.
Between you and me,
Jen is not much of a cook.
No.
I mean, how would you say things
are going between you and I?
Look, John, you're nice,
but I'm tired. And--
Wait, don't tell me just yet.
Just leave it a moment.
Leave it a moment.
I'm just trying to...
Look from my point of view,
I think things are going
really well, don't you?
No, you're all over the place
and you're not listening to me.
Jen was right.
You can be a bit of a prickly pear.
Look, Lexi.
Do you want to go out later
this night?
Lexi, prickly?
No.
So how are we going here then?
Oh, come on, guys, leave those.
I'll get the kids to load
the dishwasher in the morning.
It was awful. Terrible.
Pompous git.
I'm going straight in there
Monday morning
and I'm going to say to his face.
"No, Terry, that's not the way
we play in this department.
And you can write up your
own sloppy presentation."
[both shout]
So does anyone want a coffee?
Ken, gonna offer anybody a coffee?
Oh, anybody want coffee?
I'll have a latte. Thanks.
-Skinny latte?
-No, just a latte. Why?
Nothing. Nothing.
John?
Yeah, I'll have
a skinny latte as well. Thanks.
Gotta watch the abs of steel.
So?
What? So?
Him, why?
No, there's nothing.
Really.
Are you sure?
I thought you guys would be
absolutely perfect together.
You keep saying that.
Well, if that's all that's left,
I'd rather be alone. Seriously.
You know what your problem is?
You're too picky but you're
impatient too.
Too picky or a prickly pear?
Oh, crap.
He told you that.
Ha.
If John so bloody wonderful.
How come he doesn't have
a girlfriend?
Same reason you don't have
a boyfriend.
Bitch.
When was the last time you even
had sex?
Oh, my God,
can we not do this?
Maybe you're just sexually frustrated
and you're taking it out on men.
I am not sexually frustrated.
[beeping]
Oh, thank Christ.
Hang on. I don't believe this.
My boss just texted.
The presentation has been bumped up.
We have to finish it tomorrow.
-What?
-Sunday?
So are you going to tell him
to do it himself, aren't you?
Oh, let's be real.
I'm going to have to do it.
Thank you.
Good night, everyone.
Nice to meet you.
Alex,
so when are you free again?
Did we already do this?
Okay, let's see.
When am I free?
Oh, here we go.
How's post-apocalypse sound for you?
Good?
OK, I'll see you then.
Hey,
you can't blame a guy for trying.
I won't take no for an answer.
OK, you win.
Come on.
Excuse me, everyone.
I have an announcement to make.
As God is my witness, I will
never go out with this man.
I wouldn't go out with you
if you were the last man on earth.
Last man in Perth?
Last man, what?
No, Earth, last man on Earth.
Why would I say Perth?
I'm sorry,
I'm from Western Australia.
I guess I'm just homesick.
[television playing]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Hi.
Have you calmed down?
Jen, please.
I'm sorry, I know I acted
like a total moron,
but I really can't talk
about this right now.
You didn't like him?
Clearly, I'm not making
myself understood tonight.
No, I did not like him.
It's not me.
It's him.
Please stop setting me up.
Promise.
Alex, I'm not gonna promise.
Promise.
OK, you're busy.
You gonna get it all done.
Yeah. Well, no.
There's so much work to do.
I'm going to have to get in
first thing in the morning.
You know, his family owns
the drive-in down the coast.
Jen.
Good night.
Good night.
[Female on the television]
This would still be safe.
[soft music plays]
[phone vibrating]
I wish everyone
would just leave me alone.
[sighs] Well.
[quirky music plays]
[music intensifies]
[vibrating and moaning]
[alarm clock blaring]
I didn't finish it.
[typing]
[sighs]
[phone rings]
[Ken]
Hello, what's going on?
[Jen] Oh, come on, Ken, we're not
doing a prank message.
-[Ken] All right.
-[Jen] You called Ken and Jen.
Please leave a message.
Hey, Jen, it's me, if you guys
are there, can you pick up?
Hello?
Can you pick up if you are there,
guys?
OK, well.
Is there something going on today
that I don't know about
because the city is dead, there's nobody
here?
Um...
Yeah, it's just weird, so,
yeah, give me a call.
Or actually, I might come over.
Yeah.
[soft music playing]
[pedestrian light signals]
[knocking]
Jen, are you there?
Guys? I'm coming in.
[sombre music plays]
[upbeat rock music plays]
Technically, it's not a home
invasion, it's house sitting.
["Ready or Not!" By RACKETT plays]
[song abruptly cuts off]
[gentle music playing]
Hello and welcome to the show.
Today, I thought we try a little
something
I've been working on this week.
Remember, as a child,
your parents leaving
you alone at home on a Friday night.
Such wonderful memories.
Well, now you can relive these
magic moments simply by gathering
a few choice ingredients
from around the house.
Here's one that I prepared earlier.
[moans]
Delicious.
Pump!
["Tried to Quit" by RACKETT plays]
Hello.
Right, so it's week five day
whatever
of the land where everybody pissed off.
I'm living on canned food and I've
taken up smoking because, why not?
I gotta say, though, this
doesn't feel like hell,
hell would have to be worse
than this, just being alone.
If there is anyone out there,
don't despair, I will find you.
Actually, I probably won't find
you, but still don't despair.
Look to yourself,
to your inner strength.
To your "key". Chi.
"Chai"?
I have to google it.
Oh no, wait, I can't.
They must have done
something before the internet.
I will look it up in a book.
Ha.
[bell jingles]
[coughing]
I think I swallowed my toothpick.
You've got to be kidding me.
Oh my God, Lexie?
-Alex.
-Alex.
-So.
-So.
-Alex?
-Yes.
-Not Lexie.
-No.
-John.
-John, yes.
-Wow.
-Yes.
The Falcon XPT.
The front end is the...
it doesn't matter.
What are you doing? Right now, I mean.
I just...
Oh no, you know.
Check your diary
and see how are you going
for the apocalypse if you're busy.
Still cultivating that
sense of humour, I see.
Wow, nice place.
You did well.
Hey.
I've always lived here.
My parents live upstairs.
I got a place at the back.
They didn't disappear
either.
No, they're gone.
Just didn't feel right to move up
there.
No.
Where would you hide the bodies?
Besides,
all my stuff is here.
Cuppa?
Yeah, thank you.
What's this?
This is my theory on what
happened.
After I realized everyone was really
gone,
I went back through
all the old news items.
It's the best I could come up with.
I hadn't noticed that necklace
before.
Yeah, I...
found it.
Surprised anyone could lose it,
it's huge.
Yeah.
How are you doing all this?
All this?
Lights, refrigerator, gas.
The lights run off a solar
power grid.
Everything else runs on
a three-phase, biodiesel generator.
Did you see the truck
at the front of the cage back end?
Mm-hmm.
That's full of gas bottles
for the Weber on the deck.
You've got a Weber.
Of course, you know,
it's like Crowded House say.
Everywhere you go, always take
the weather, the weather with you.
Have you seen anyone else?
No, just you.
You're it.
What's a hadron?
A hadron? Um, OK...
A hadron is one of the basic
building blocks of the universe,
or rather it's made of
the basic elements of creation.
Do you have any understanding
of string theory?
Less than any?
Well, just imagine there's
a theory which postulates
that the crashing together of hadrons
with enough force behind it
could prove the existence
of transdimensional universes,
amongst other things.
Like what?
Like have you heard of the
God particle?
The God particle?
Oh, well, that's one of the most
interesting usages of it, I think.
The God particle is this
theorized particle
which could hold all
the secrets of the universe.
You explain things well.
Not according to my
accountant.
Your hair looks much better
by the way.
Great title.
Oh, that's a present from
Ken.
He swears by it.
I bet he does.
I got stuck on step five, never take no
for the final answer.
Uh-huh.
Here we are.
A chick will always say no
as a knee-jerk defence mechanism,
because she isn't bright enough
to know what else to do.
You use this time wisely to keep up
a firm but friendly push
to see each other again.
This is a fail safe method
unless the woman is adamant.
A clue will be if she stands up
and declares that she wouldn't
see you again even if you
were the last man on Earth.
No way.
It actually says that?
No.
No, of course not.
But look, you got to stage six,
getting the chick home.
I just don't get any funny ideas,
buddy.
What, like evolution
or special relativity?
Exactly.
[rattling]
Possums?
I sure hope so.
I'm not too worried,
I'm carrying protection.
And why do you have
one of those?
The taser?
No, why do you have
a lady razor?
No, this is the real deal.
No, this is the real deal.
It just must be a different model.
Here.
I'll show you.
I don't understand.
[he groans]
You OK?
I'm just fine.
I think I'm just
gonna lie here a moment.
Hello boys and girls.
We are making a cup of tea,
aren't we, Eric?
Yes, we are, John.
We know a song about that,
don't we, Eric?
Yes, we do.
Would you like to sing that song?
Would you?
I'm a little teapot,
short and stout
Here is my handle,
here is my spout
When I get all steamed up,
then I shout
Ahhh, boiling water. Ahh!
We're burnt. Ahh, it burns!
Why, John? Every morning,
it's always the same.
Cuppa?
On the veranda, thanks.
It's OK.
She didn't see anything.
Thank you.
Oh, and thanks for a lovely evening.
So what are your plans for today?
Well, I should probably
stick to the routine, you know.
Make sure the generators fuelled
and oiled,
top up the hot water system,
check the water tanks,
keep working on
the EMF duplifying
magnetron network.
You have a hot water
system?
Yeah.
Which means you can have
hot showers.
Well, sure.
OK, I haven't had a hot
shower in weeks.
Would you mind?
Would I mind what?
Oh, what was the other thing,
the ELO--
The EMF Magnetron
Duplicator.
Yeah, well, if my theory is
correct, I think I can reverse
what's happened and get
us back to--
Right. Actually I can hear
the shower calling my name.
Well maybe I can show it to
you later on.
Sounds great.
Can't stop.
[water running]
[Alex] Oh, so good!
I sure am glad I had a shower
before you brought me up here.
Yeah, it's a bit of a climb
since the power went out.
Oh, I'll be fine.
I just need to sit. Or lie down.
You'll get your breath back
faster if you walk it off.
So, cables?
-Yeah.
-Why do you have cables?
Well, I'm binding them
together.
You're binding them?
-Yeah.
-Why?
Well, I'm building an array and the
thicker cables give off better EMR.
Yeah, I've heard that.
Sorry.
What are you doing up here again?
OK, well, I'm binding the
cables together
to give at least four inch diameter,
and then I'm stretching
them out across the city,
over the rooftops, see.
Oh my God.
That stretches
halfway around the city.
Once I complete the loop,
I can fire it up and hopefully
recreate the conditions that got us here.
Hmm.
So we're up here binding,
huh?
Yeah, but it's hard work.
You don't have to help out
if you don't want to.
I'm happy to keep plodding along.
And there's a bit of a trick to it.
It might take an amateur
a while to pick it up.
Amateur huh?
Give me a go.
So what gave you the idea
to do all this?
Well, I was thinking about the 3-D process
and thought that surely
if I can replicate and duplify
an EMF signal with multiple cables,
then I should be able to create a
stereo model
of the Higgs boson concept.
And then thought about string
theory,
which would suggest that
that would be
far more impact over a greater area.
You know, I told you last
night, you explain things well.
Vaguely?
I was wrong.
Got any plans for tonight?
Nah.
Keeping my options open.
Thought I might go to the
movies.
Wanna come?
Neh.
Alright then.
[woman] That was 20 years ago.
[movie continues indistinctly]
So you like corny movies?
I like this one.
Big crowd tonight.
Yeah, yeah.
Twice as many as last
time I came out here.
Last time?
Yeah, well.
I confess I've come here a bit.
Impress the girls, you know.
Uh-huh.
And how did you impress the girls?
Nepotism.
My dad ran the place.
Wow.
Can you really get me in for free,
Johnny?
And free cordial,
all you can drink.
I get the run of the place now.
Chilly.
Here.
Sexy.
So you and your dad.
Used to hang out here
while he was working.
Then he got sick
and he slowed right down.
Oh.
Nah, what can you do?
He's happy now. Or was.
I had him all set up with the biggest
video projector I could find,
and he's happy just to sit there
and watch his favorite films.
Here,
let me show you my favorite trick.
Where are you going?
OK, watch the screen.
That's brilliant.
Come here, I'll show you how to do it!
OK. Make a cat.
No, no, I wanna make a dog.
Alright. Here.
Put your hands together.
Yep, these two.
Yeah.
And wrap those two around them.
-No, no I can't.
-Yeah. Like that.
-Is that it?
-Yeah.
It doesn't look right.
It's a dog monster.
Oh, there! That's it!
-There he is.
-Yeah.
Now how do I make him bark?
These bottom two.
Yeah, yeah, like that.
[barking like a dog]
Well, you know, where there
is dogs, there is cats.
That's a bit silly, I know.
You're not silly.
You're funny.
Funny looking maybe.
No, you're not.
Actually you are kind of
funny looking.
Well, better than your dog.
[kettle whistling]
Morning, sleepyhead.
-Mmh.
Coffee?
Where's Eric?
I thought he made the coffee.
Ah, no, he only makes the tea.
Can't trust him with
the coffee, never could.
-So.
-So.
About last night.
Mmm.
I had a great time.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
Well, maybe next time we come out here,
we can have a bit more fun.
What do you mean?
Next time I bring you out here,
maybe could do something a bit more fun.
More fun?
Yeah, I got to say,
I reckon it's probably a while
since either of us had some fun.
It's been a while, has it?
Is that what Jen told you?
Jen? No.
Oh, I meant more fun.
Yeah, I know what you meant.
No, but see,
you're talking about...
God, you guys are just great,
even in a freaking world wide
catastrophe,
you just can't wait to
stick your little thingy
into some poor unsuspecting
sap/
No, I didn't mean...
little thingy?
I bet this whole setup was designed
just to impress someone like me.
The drive in, the Holden ute.
-It's a Ford.
-Whatever.
You've been waiting your
whole life for this.
Well, I'm here to inform you that
it is nothing that's working on me.
Well, it wouldn't, would it?
-What's that supposed to mean?
-Oh, come on.
You want this bloody perfect bloody man,
but let me tell you something for
nothing,
that man only exists in your
imagination.
Sure as hell isn't standing around
here.
-You can say that again.
-Oh, ha ha ha ha.
Yeah, you wanna call a spade a
spade?
You're no prize yourself, you know.
Excuse me?
Oh, don't get all, "Excuse me,"
on me.
I can see through your act,
you know,
I don't have to tiptoe around
you if I don't want to.
Oh, you've been tippy toeing,
have you?
Maybe I have.
Maybe I have.
Well, permission to stop
tiptoeing.
Well, I don't need your
permission to stop tiptoeing,
I don't need your permission at all.
And if it wasn't for whatever
happened,
you wouldn't even have me
and we wouldn't even have this.
So, there you go.
Well, I didn't realize how
lucky I was to have this.
Yeah, well, now,
you know when I say this.
No, John, let me tell you
about this.
No, I didn't mean.
No, Mr. "I'm the last man on
earth, and I'm so clever."
This whatever this is, it's over.
What does that mean?
You are now officially
free to see other people.
What?
Alex.
Oh, and by the way,
last night, your smooth talking,
it could use some work.
Here's a tip.
Nobody says panties.
What are you living in a 70s?
Panties?
What are you talking about?
Well, you went on and on
about them in your sleep.
They're not panties,
they're knickers.
Oh, yeah.
That's real sexy talk.
Hey, baby, let me dribble
off your knickers.
Dribble off?
What books are you reading?
Alex?
Don't go. I didn't mean anything I said.
I don't care.
Good bye.
See you around the trap.
[clattering]
Is this the way you keep all your
girlfriends when they wanna leave?
This is no amateur rig.
Someone really knows their stuff.
Just give me a minute to
figure out how this works.
How this...Cut me down.
Well, bugger me dead.
What have we here?
-Nothing.
-You OK?
Are you normal?
Yeah, we're both, thanks.
Yeah, I'm not so sure I'm comfortable
with you calling yourself normal.
-Shut up.
-I'm cufflinks.
Cufflinks?
Yeah it's a nickname you can
call me Wendy
if it makes you more comfortable.
-So your real name?
-No.
I'm John, this is Alex.
Well, hello to you both.
How did you find us?
I was on my way to check out
the traps.
When I saw you both.
I thought I'd lie low and suss you out a
bit first.
How long have you been here?
Oh, about 10 minutes or so.
Trucks over there.
I guess you guys didn't hear it
because you were so engrossed.
Wow!
Wow!
So what's with the traps then?
I noticed a few possums around here
and I thought I'd try and catch one.
And of course, once I figured
what happened with the whole
"everybody go bye bye" thing.
Do you have fuel?
[both] You know what happened.
[CROSSTALK] Oh, I know
exactly what happened.
I mean, I guess it all makes sense
with the possums being nocturnal, yeah.
OK, why don't you guys come
back to my place
and I'll tell you exactly what
happened and why we're here.
You do have a car or something,
don't you?
Yeah,
it's that OJ Holden over there.
Hey, isn't that a 1966
Ford XP Falcon utility?
Yeah, it is only if it's got
a 65 front end and we're sort of
not driving that. The engine's cactus.
Had to push it into place.
Had to push it?
Where from?
I'd rather not talk about it.
Um, our car is actually
out behind projector room.
Righto, what you guys wanna lift
your car?
No, thanks.
We'll walk.
I'll see you there.
I don't like this.
What the following?
Well, you know, while that
is creepy and all,
something just feels wrong.
Call it a sixth sense.
I'm just gonna concentrate on
my cool walking.
Straight arms, squinty eyes.
OK, guys, follow me.
It's only about 10 minutes
to my place from here.
That allowing for traffic?
I can drive.
So you live here?
Oh, well, you know it's my workshop.
Makes sense to crash where you work.
It's be a great place
to hide the bodies.
[laughter]
You're running 240?
Oh, no, 110.
I can only find Yank converters.
Yeah, tell me about it.
So is the solar running the
lights?
No, the solar heats the water
and keeps the fridge running.
Sweet.
What,
you running on your solar?
No, I converted a three phase
Genny.
-Diesel?
-Bio.
Where the bloody hell did you
get that?
Oh, fish and chip shops, mostly.
KFC, McDonald's, Hungry Jacks.
Anywhere with the deep fryer.
Hungry?
I can probably run it for
about four days without refuelling.
I mean, are you hungry?
So why us?
Said you'll tell us your theory.
What were you doing at a
quarter past three
on the morning
of the 31st of March?
I was sleeping.
What about you?
Yeah, sleeping.
-Oh.
-[both] What?
You see, I know what it is
you were doing.
-I was doing it myself.
-Hey?
At 3:15 a.m. our time
on the 31st of March 2010
was the precise moment that the first
Hadron collision
took place in Switzerland.
You see,
the goal of this experiment was
to find the existence of a particle.
-The God particle.
-Yeah, right.
But instead, I believe there's
been a particle shift
which has caused a wormhole and
transported the three of us here.
To another dimension,
most likely.
A duplicate Earth populated solely by us.
You explain things well.
Not according to my
accountant.
[laughter]
You see, my theory is that the
brainwave
fluctuations that occurred during
or directly after sexual activity
are somehow
connected to the particle shift.
Particle shift?
Sexual activity?
Well, at first I thought
it was just, you know,
sexual activity in
the general sense because,
well, that's what I was doing.
And then I thought about it
and I thought
surely there would have been more people
doing the deed, yeah?
Therefore, we can assume that
the shift must have been
triggered by the hormone that
happens when you orgasm,
-Orgasm?
-Orgasm.
-Orgasm
-Orgasms.
-Orgasms?
-Orgasms?
Orgasms.
-You've got a little bit of--
-What? Oh.
Yeah, just...
Nah, it's got to be said, I don't
normally clock my orgasms,
but I do know I had one at 12
minutes past three that morning.
How do you know?
Like I said, I don't normally
clock them,
but I do know that Todd took me into
the height of pleasure at the exact
moment the experiment was going on.
I'm still not sure whether
it was because of his expert manipulations
or the excitement of knowing that
I was consigning my orgasm
with the most exciting
experiment to happen on
the planet this century.
And where is Todd?
Oh, Todd never comes with me.
He likes to make sure I'm
highly satisfied first.
Then I spend about an hour
doing the same thing to him.
So, I guess you two are doing
the deed as well, yeah?
Huh?
Us?
Aren't you two?
-Oh.
-Oh, God, no.
Well you were having sex with
someone.
[both stammering]
-Not so much with...
-Not exactly...someone.
Oh.
Well, least I have enough
swags for all of us.
Although I would ask that you
refrain from...
Just makes for needless washing.
I'm not a fan of washing.
Hey, are you awake?
Can you believe it, I'm still cold.
And I wanted to say I'm
sorry for this morning.
It's stupid for us to
fight, don't you think?
I know you're gonna say you were to
blame.
Maybe you have a point.
John?
[distant laughter and chatter]
That is funny.
You are so funny.
Am I really funny?
Well, funny looking maybe.
Oh, well, all I can say is
thank God that the last
man on earth is funny,
you're not funny looking.
In fact, you're kind of cute.
Hey, you don't mind if I dribble these
pants off you?
Oh, don't worry, I'll keep my panties on.
I'm not trying to seduce you or
anything.
[chatter continues]
[mock laughing]
My name is Wendy, I'm so clever, I'm
packing the car.
OK.
It's on.
There you are. Didn't know
where you'd gone to.
So what's happening?
Taking a trip, a secret
American military base.
Secret American military
base, can you believe that?
And where is this so-called
secret American base?
Secret American military base.
Well, it's a secret, of course.
Luckily, my parents had an old
map which had a clue on it.
Governments with so much
more open back in the 1950s,
That's not far from here at all.
Why would they build
a base so close to the city?
Bloody urban sprawl.
And what exactly are we going
to do at this SAM?
Well, I've figured out how to
reverse this whole mess.
Sure could use some help
if you guys want to come.
Reverse what exactly?
Well everything.
We'll be able to get back.
Back to our lives.
We won't be alone anymore.
-Well--
-Sounds like a great idea.
What about your idea?
Your plan?
What did you have in mind?
Oh, nothing really.
As a matter of fact, John was
gonna set up a web of three
inch cables and create gamma
rays to transport us back.
Oh, that's good.
That's really good.
Are you serious?
Well, it's just something to
do.
Just something to do.
Where are you going to power it?
Electrical storm?
Or more likely, several electrical
storms striking simultaneously.
Tell her, John.
Yeah, I guess I hadn't really
thought that far ahead.
You hadn't thought that far
ahead?
Well, I had to do something.
Whoa, guys, it's OK.
It's not that big a deal, you know.
It's always important
to keep your hands busy.
Look, um, the morning's getting
away from me, so I got to get going.
Like I said, you're more
than welcome to come.
Otherwise, I'll see you later, yeah?
Maybe we should go.
Help her out.
-What do you think?
-What do I think?
I think you stop thinking
every time she's around.
-I...hey?
-Nothing.
Guess we should go.
Great. I can only have one in the front
though, road rules and all that.
Shot gun.
Of course.
There's a secret American
military base here?
I had no idea.
Yeah, well, it's a secret but
they left some markers here
so you could easily find it.
I changed the password
when I found this place.
You can't be too careful
about protection, can you?
What?
There it is.
The base is down this ladder.
Oh, I should point out, though,
if you cross this threshold,
there's no turning back.
Once the wheel's moving,
it can't be stopped.
So if you're coming down,
you're 100 percent committed.
OK?
OK.
So the bigger decision than
we were first led to believe, hey, John?
What do you think?
John?
Lights.
They're running that
bio-watcha-ma-call-it thing here, too.
Oh, no, this is hooked up to
the emergency grid connected
to the Snowy Mountains.
Endless power supply.
Silly me.
OK, well, I'll check launch progress and
initiate flight patterns.
John, you know how to convert
global positioning from
the old American standards,
don't you?
I might need to brush up.
Oh, no worries. It's easy, I'll show you.
See, look. What you need to do
is you take this first digit and then you
transpose--
i might need to brush up too.
Yeah, I guessed that.
So what is your plan exactly?
Well, like most big
thermonuclear weapons,
to start a fusion reaction,
you need a fusion primer.
This is called the primary stage
trigger.
Now, this creates so many
crazy hot particles that it
triggers a second fusion
reaction or the big boom.
Now it is theorized that
a fusion reaction with
sufficient mass could
create a singularity.
Right?
Maybe I should have said,
"What's your plan in general?"
Well, a singularity, the
point at which matter becomes
infinitely dense,
should create a wormhole.
How do you know all this
stuff?
I have a PhD in physics.
I majored in Einstein-Rosen Bridge.
Wormhole Theory.
So you're suggesting we
set off a whole bunch of
thermonuclear weapons
to create a wormhole?
Oh, wait a minute.
There are nuclear weapons here?
Oh, there are a couple in Australia.
Pine Gap, Maralinga, Dubbo.
But we can control every launch
pad in the world from here.
Because all I've been doing
for the last five weeks
is cracking passwords
to major installations,
sorting various yields and
detonators,
initiating prelaunch sequences
and working at various trajectories.
This is what you've been doing
for the last five weeks?
Mostly, yeah.
Well, I could have played dress ups
and driven around ranting on my CV
but how pathetic would that be?
So where are we in this
scenario?
Oh, close enough to
the source of the explosion
to be assured of being
sucked into the wormhole,
which I figure is about
here if we detonate
for an airburst of about a thousand
metres.
Sorry, we're actually gonna
be standing at ground zero?
Well, yeah.
And what happens then?
What happens then?
The reverse of what happened
the first time course.
Right. Of course.
So we will all go back
to where we came from
back to the night when this all
happened.
Exactly.
And you're positive this will
work?
That's the beauty of it.
If it works, then we go home.
And if it doesn't,
instantly vaporized.
Can I speak to you in private?
OK. Would you excuse us a
moment, please?
Sure.
I don't know about you,
but I've eaten trail mix
less nutty and fruity than that.
-What do you mean?
-What do I mean?
Well, if we believe for two seconds
that this so-called military base
can do what she says it can,
unless I'm mistaken,
she's talking about
standing directly under
a nuclear explosion in the hope -
the hope - that it might
just create a wormhole.
I don't know.
The theory is sound.
Don't worry, I get it, John.
Get what?
Well, now that you've consummated your
love with Little Miss Angsty Pants.
Consummated? Angsty pants?
I'm sorry, should I have
said angsty panties?
You're talking gibberish.
She could be a genius.
A beautiful genius, yes.
Beautiful?
Listen, shut up.
Some risks they're worth taking
but this?
We could die.
You're right, I mean,
it's a bit different now,
but it's totally liveable.
I thought you'd say that.
Let's go break it to her.
We are not going with you.
Oh, really?
Oh, I don't know, Alex,
I guess I must have
suspected you were gonna say that.
This woman does not speak for me.
Then get over here.
You're gonna shoot me now, you
can't wait another hour or so?
Johnny, can you grab that
gaffer tape, please?
Johnny? Bleuch.
Bind her good.
OK, now all we need is some train
tracks.
You know what, Alexsi?
I have been wanting to do this since the
first moment I saw you.
Well, the bombs are well
and truly on their way.
Should be here in T minus
one hour and 36 minutes.
They will all come, Johnny,
and we'll set things right.
[grunts]
Is that grunting bothering
you?
No.
I've trained myself to
ignore minor irritations.
'Cause it's doing my head in.
No worries.
Uh, what's that?
It's a sap.
You use it to knock people out.
Or I can just take her
into the other room?
Either way, but take this
in case she gets feisty.
Why do you have one of
these?
It's a sex thing.
[groaning]
Traitor.
I'll be happy just
to see you flash fry.
-Shh!
-Do you really think your girlfriend's
gonna take you through her enchanted
physics hole
and back to
the land of the happy leprechauns?
Wendy's great.
She's gonna get us back home.
She's a lunatic, a fruitcake,
a picnic blanket short of
a picnic blanket out of a...
Please don't tape my mouth again.
[squeals]
[shouting] If only you
knew how great Wendy is.
[whispering] OK, that's not true.
I agree with you.
She's nuts.
[shouting] I see it in her
but you don't wanna see it.
[whispering] Again, not true.
I'm crazy about you, Alex.
I've been crazy about you since the moment
I met you at Jen and Ken's.
[shouting] So I'm going back to
the other side with Wendy.
And we are going to breed
beautiful children,
even though we have not
consummated our relationship yet.
[whispering] Nothing happened with
Wendy last night, I swear it.
You swear it?
Yeah, well, of course.
I knew it.
I can't wait to meet you
in the real world, Johnny.
You will not regret this.
[muffled shouting]
-I'm taking us home.
-Home?
What are you doing?
A razor?
What?
Oh, you kinky...
Listen, I can shave
later, you dirty old man.
Right now, I don't have time.
Stupid, lousy taser razor.
[muffled sounds]
-Oh, and I just had another thought.
-What's that, babe?
After I've finished the
reconfiguration,
there's something else
we need to be doing.
Oh, yeah?
Orgasming at the time of
critical mass.
Oh.
It's the only way to make
sure that the wormhole
reopens and we remember everything.
Some of us will be going home soon.
[muffled shouting]
Gentle.
I am home.
You are home?
I don't understand.
-What do you mean?
-Before.
She said...
Before she said we're going home.
It doesn't matter.
Come on.
We've got to stop these
bombs from going off.
Well, come on.
Oh.
[chuckles]
I'm a goose.
Yes, would you hurry up?
-What are you doing?
-I don't know.
Maybe I can divert the missiles.
If we can just figure out
the guidance system.
The one that took Wendy
five weeks to figure out?
Yeah.
You're gonna figure that
out in less than an hour?
Well, how hard could it be?
Maybe if I just press this button.
[siren sounds]
[automated voice]
Missile profiles accelerated.
Detonation now in two...
Accelerated.
How the hell do you accelerate a missile?
Two minutes?
It's too late!
-But that means...
-I know.
Unless...wait.
-Climax.
-Yeah. Yeah.
You could say this is a bit of a
climax.
No. We both have to orgasm when the
bombs hit.
Both of us at the same time?
Well, this is how we got
here in the first place.
Like Wendy was saying,
the things, or...
whatever that we released when we...
It'll stop us forgetting.
We'll remember everything.
OK, I suppose that makes
sense.
I don't wanna forget this, John,
so we have to have these orgasms.
-Come on.
-We haven't even kissed.
I mean, you know, can't we
at least work up to this?
-You said you loved me.
-I think what I said was...
-We have less than a minute.
-Less than a minute.
OK. I'm not saying I'm not
capable of performing here,
but, you know, I just thought, oh,
my God.
Oh, the concrete is cold.
-Come on.
-You're not helping here.
I mean, you're meant to
be saying something sexy.
Sexy?
How about um, hot stuff.
Hot stuff?
You see that makes panty sound like gold.
[dramatic music playing]
I think I'm gonna...
-No, hang on.
-What? Hang on?
Is this good?
Oh, yes.
No, no, shit.
Oh, yes.
Oh, there it is.
OK.
Oh, God, don't stop.
Don't stop what?
What am I doing?
Oh, shut up, I think.
[heavy breathing]
Oh, yes.
Oh, God, yes.
[both shouting]
[explosion]
[man] Yeah, baby,
the earth just moved.
-[chuckles]
-No, no, I don't think so.
I think the earth is
exactly where we left it.
Oh, you came all right.
Big time.
Afraid not, Todd ball.
Barely registered.
Pity.
I was trying to come
with a Hadron collision.
The what?
You're a weird chick, you know that?
[alarm clock blaring]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
[woman] Alex, can you hear me?
Where the hell are you?
Where am I?
That's a very good question.
Where the hell are you?
I beg your pardon?
It's 9:15, Alex,
why aren't you here?
I am here.
I am here.
Oh, my God, you little pearler.
What?
Get down here right away, Alex.
That presentation needs to
be finished right now.
No, no, I'll be in later.
What?
Actually, I've got a lot of
stuff I need to do today.
A whole lot of stuff.
Consider this a resignation.
Resignation?
[muffled shouts through the phone]
Oh, for crying out--
John.
Hello, I need the number for a John
um...
Actually, scrap that.
I need the number for a guy
in Taringa who posts films.
No, he turns
classic films into 3D films.
2B Or Not 3D.
That'll be it.
Yep, OK, thanks.
Yes, I'll hold.
Hello.
Thank you for calling 2B Or Not 3D.
Please leave a message after the
beep.
[BEEP]
John?
Hey, we're back.
It's me.
I'm coming over, so don't try and
find me.
Stay where you are.
Oh.
It's you.
You remember?
How could I forget?
Despite what you may think it's not
every day
I'm personally humiliated like that.
Sorry?
Is that an apology for
yesterday?
Yesterday?
Oh, you don't remember
anything else?
Like what?
Any other insults?
To be honest, I'm trying not
to let that one sink in.
OK, you don't remember the
rooftop?
The drive-in?
The crazy Wendy chick?
I remember a crazy chick.
-You do?
-No, no, you're the crazy chick.
Oh. Um...
OK.
So, I've had a lot of time
to think since yesterday
and you're not as bad as I thought.
Right.
Um, OK.
What I'm trying to say is I'd be willing
to give you another chance.
Wait.
Look, Alex, I'm not the last man on earth,
you don't have to worry.
Now, if you don't mind,
I've got a classic film in here
that I'm trying to convert to 3D.
You think you know someone,
huh?
I mean, we saved the world together.
I can't believe he wouldn't
give me another shot.
-Why wouldn't he?
-Here, drink this?
Hopefully, you'll make
it back to this planet.
So, the guy doesn't like me.
He fell in love with me.
He told me, well, indirectly,
no, very directly,
that he'd fallen in love with me
the moment he set eyes on me.
They all say that, hon.
They're just bastards.
If he loves me so much, how
come he can't
get over my behaviour yesterday?
The other day.
Whenever the hell it was.
Oh, good morning.
What's going on?
Well, Alex got caught
in a black hole.
Wormhole.
Sorry, wormhole and just
spent the last
five weeks in an alternate universe
where John was the last man on earth
and they both fell deeply in love.
But now John can't remember any of it
and doesn't want a bar of her.
He's probably at that
stupid drive-in right now.
Huh, I bet he is.
All on his lonesome, "'Cause
someone's gotta run the cinema."
Alex, maybe what you need
to do right now is rest.
Why don't you lie down
in the spare room?
Hmm?
OK, thanks for the tea.
[gentle music plays]
[movie plays indistinctly]
You.
I want to apologise.
Apologise?
For the other...
For yesterday.
Oh?
I did not give you a chance
and now that
I've had time to get to know you...
to think about what you were
trying to tell me, I think...
I firmly believe that we could
maybe...
I don't know.
Would you be interested
in seeing me again?
Is this some kind of joke?
Are you working for Prank
Patrol or something?
No.
It's legit.
Please forgive my scepticism,
but you did say to me
you wouldn't go out with me
if I was the last man on earth.
Yeah, I was wrong about that.
I would.
Well, that's an ego boost.
Thanks.
You'll excuse my blushing.
Wow.
This is all going so wrong.
I'm sorry.
[gentle music plays]
Alex.
You were right about me.
I just read this stupid,
stupid book.
'Ten Steps to Getting the Girl You Want,
Even If She Doesn't Want You'.
Oh, God.
You've read the book.
A little.
Is there a chance we can
start afresh?
No games this time.
I'd really like that.
Do you like corny movies?
I love corny movies.
I like your necklace.
["Atomic Electric"
by Rebecca's Empire plays]
Fuck. Sorry.
Hang on, wait.
Yeah, the whole thing is
ludicrous.
What people can't watch a 3D film
anymore without it being in 3D?
From my point of view,
I think things are going great.
Sorry.
[giggling]
Laughing in anticipation.
That's how funny I am.
Sorry, sorry, fuck sorry.
Still rolling.
-All she has to do is sleep.
-Oh, God.
Really? Then why did the lead singer
form a band called
the Patron Saints
of Imperfection, hey?
It's 'cause she wanted
to disabuse people
of the idea that [speaks gibberish].
I don't know.
I fucked that up completely.
Sorry.
[man] Still rolling.
Don't.
[snores]
[laughter]
Hello.
We're making a...
Fuck.
I'm so sorry.
[man] Cut, cut, cut.
Oh, well, I should probably
stick to the routine.
[Alex] What do you mean?
I should probably stick to
the routine.
[Alex] What do you mean?
Well, make sure
the generators fuelled and oiled,
top up the hot water tanks, chip...
Oh, for fuck's sake.
That's my phone.
[cheering and applause]
You got any plans for
tonight?
Nah.
I'm keeping my options open.
'Cause I thought I might
take you to a strip club.