A Husband For Christmas (2016) Movie Script

Is everyone there?
Great. I'll see you guys
at the airport.
Uh, hey, lady,
where you headed?
I'm getting a husband
for Christmas.
[piano playing
"Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"]
Can you believe all this?
I actually can't believe
Mr. Rawlings invited me.
Don't worry about it.
I've been his assistant
15 years.
This is only the third time
I've been invited.
There's a lot of people here
I don't know.
There's Barry Kane.
- Barry--
- No, no, no, don't look.
- Don't look.
- Oh, okay, not looking.
He's the CFO of Onway.
Onway Media Branding?
- Yes.
- Wow.
We're merging. I know it.
Oh, there's gonna be
a bloodletting.
That's kind of harsh,
isn't it?
Fifteen years.
Fifteen years I've been here.
You'd think I'd get a promotion.
Instead I'm getting an ulcer.
Hey, hey, hey!
I am so sorry.
Oh, wow.
Let me go get something
at the bar, and I'll get it out.
I'll be right back.
Club soda, please.
Lady, there's a line.
Uh... Ohh...
Just one minute, one second,
one second, okay?
Club soda.
Excuse me?
It will get anything out.
Nice party.
Christmas has always been
my favorite time of year.
It's all right.
Roger Burkett.
Oh. Brooke Harris.
So how long have you hated
Christmas, Brooke Harris?
I don't hate Christmas.
It's just--
Is "dislike" more apropos?
What are you, a copywriter?
Graphic designer.
And you work for Onway?
Well, I hope to be working
for Rawlings soon.
So there is a merger.
Oh, that's the word
on the streets.
Who do you work for?
Mr. Rawlings--
he's a wonderful man and,
as I'm sure you know,
seems to be
quite a terrific company.
I just hope everything
works out with the H-1B.
What's that?
My work visa.
Oh, I thought the company
took care of that.
No, not if they can hire
an American just as easily,
or in this case,
already has the job.
You don't say.
So what do you do
for Rawlings?
I'm a graphic designer.
I see.
Club soda, please.
- Coming right up.
- Thank you.
Your accent's nice.
It's, uh...
- British.
- British. Oh.
- It is nice meeting you, Roger.
- Likewise.
Thank you.
I'll take the whole bottle.
[phone chimes]
Oh, God.
What, Mother?
Brooke, it's your mother.
I just wanted to see
if you changed your mind
about Christmas dinner.
Your father and I
would love to see you.
Tracy and David
will be there, too.
They're engaged.
Can you believe it?
Your little sister's
getting married.
Now, I don't want you
to tie yourself into knots.
You'll find someone soon,
Oh, Mom.
for the bajillionth time,
they're not gonna fire you.
You were just
telling me last week
how much they were
loving you.
I didn't say "loving me."
What about that job offer,
the one in New York?
I passed.
Brooke, you passed it up?
Oh, my God. You got to get over
your fear of flying.
Well, maybe
I don't want to move.
Look, I love California.
I just need to find
a better place.
What about that condo you said
you liked? The one downtown.
You mean the one that's
way out of my price range?
Brooke, I think that you're
looking at this all wrong.
Maybe this merger
is a good thing.
Not if they've already brought
in your replacement on a visa.
How do you know that?
He told me at the party.
You met the guy that they're
going to replace you with?
Well, I'm not sure,
but he does work for Onway,
and he's a graphic designer.
Do the math.
Where is he from?
He said England.
Is he cute?
Maybe. He's all right.
You like him.
I can tell,
even over the phone.
You got a lousy
poker voice, girl.
I barely even know him,
He's a real life
Prince Charming.
Just because he's British
doesn't make him a prince.
Maybe you'll get married, too.
Is there something
I don't know?
not yet,
but it's gonna happen soon.
Well, it didn't happen
at our anniversary,
and then it didn't happen
on our weekend getaway,
so the only other option
is that he's gonna propose
under the tree on Christmas.
Oh, God, I can barely
handle the suspense.
- Ah. That makes two of us.
- You said that he was cute.
Girl, would you stop it?
I gotta go. Bye.
Too much.
- Good morning, Florence.
- Hi, Brooke.
Here is your extra-large
vanilla latte.
Thank you.
- Morning.
- Morning.
Hey, Natasha, I have got
your espresso,
and for Mr. Rawlings,
a medium half-caff hazelnut
with whip,
no foam or caramel drizzle.
Thank you.
[whispers] Could you
tell him it's from me?
Brooke Harris,
you are one impressive beast.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Five years. All they're offering
is two weeks' severance.
It's Christmas.
Who's gonna even look
at a resume before January?
Yes, Natasha.
Mr. Rawlings would like
to see you in his office.
I'll be right there.
Good luck.
You wanted to see me,
Mr. Rawlings?
- Brooke.
- Have a seat.
I've been looking over
some of your designs,
and I want you to know
how thrilled I am
with the work
you've been doing for us.
Thank you.
Now, as you may have heard,
I made a deal to merge this
company with an outside firm.
as with all transitions,
there will need to be some
changes around the office,
and with budgets
being what they are,
we simply cannot afford
redundancies in our departments.
Are you with me?
I want you to know
we spent a lot of time
discussing what the best
course of action would be,
regarding your employment
with us.
- Yes?
- And...
And we decided
to double your salary
and promote you
to vice president.
The truth is you're one
of the best designers we have,
and it's time to have you
overseeing your own projects.
I thought
you were gonna fire me.
Fire you?
Darling, you're irreplaceable.
There's a very talented
graphic designer from Onway
that we want you to oversee.
A fantastic talent
out of London.
Roger Burkett.
You know him?
Yes. We met at the party.
Do me a favor.
Look at his work.
Ooh, nice.
Roger painted these?
His work has won
several awards.
Oh, so then you solved
his problem.
His problem with immigration.
Actually, you see,
in the old days,
the job technically would be
enough to clear the visa
and push the paperwork
right through,
but lately that kind of thing
has gotten a little more tricky.
hypothetically speaking,
if Roger were to meet
a nice American citizen
and get married,
he could stay in the country,
work for us, no questions asked.
I'm sorry, I don't follow.
You told Natasha that you guys
hit it off at the party, right?
That's not exactly what I said.
He'd have his citizenship,
I'd have my designer,
and you, young lady,
would have your promotion.
You're not seriously
asking me to--
I'm not asking you
to do anything.
Kinda sounded like it.
I was simply pointing out that
if some intelligent, driven,
work-minded single woman
would happen to marry Roger,
all our problems
would be solved.
Think of it as a Christmas gift
to all of us.
I just don't know
how I feel.
- The thing is, Beth--
- Brooke.
I can't promote you
if I can't replace you,
and if I can't do that,
well, like I said,
there will need to be some
changes around the office.
You want some time
to think about it?
The thing is--
Take tonight to think about it,
but let me know by morning
because I have
a 9:00 conference call
to discuss reorganization.
Is that all right with you,
Get out of here.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Okay, Mr. Rawlings.
Oh, that bad?
He offered me a promotion.
A promotion? Really?
Vice president.
What'd you say?
Well, I said I'd have
to think about it.
Natasha, get the Anderson file
for me, would you?
Yes, Mr. Rawlings,
right away.
Excuse me.
Wait, you mean like marry him,
marry him, like for real?
Of course I'm not going to.
I guess I just gotta start
looking for another job.
I'm sure there's
a lot of companies hiring
right before Christmas.
Oh, that's the one
you really wanted.
City view, 2,000 square feet,
excellent shopping area.
There will be other places.
I know.
I just really wanted that one.
Brooke Harris!
Is that you?
Hey, girlfriend, hey!
Come on down!
Wait till you meet this one.
It's so good to see you.
Looking good, girlfriend.
This is my husband Nick.
- Oh, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- This is my girlfriend Amanda.
- Hi.
Erin and I used to--
We went to college together.
Brooke was
"most likely to succeed."
What are you up to now?
- Well, you know.
- Succeeding.
Oh, well, we're just saying
goodbye to our old place.
- Old place?
- Mm-hmm. We're moving.
- Cherry Hills.
- Big house.
You should see the pool.
It's beautiful!
We're gonna redo the gazebo.
- And tennis court.
- Uh-huh!
You should come over sometime.
Give me a call.
- Sounds nice.
- I started my own business.
Did you see the write-up
in Wired?
So you started
your own business,
you're in magazines,
and y'all got a tennis court.
Hey, you know,
Venus and Serena.
Well, nice to meet you ladies.
We gotta go.
All right, nice meeting you.
Good seeing you, Erin.
Most likely to succeed, huh?
I mean, you did meet
this Roger person.
You did say
that he was cute.
Hey, just thinking
out loud here.
But if you did marry him,
then, you know,
you would get your promotion,
you would get your better place.
In five years, maybe you could
have your own tennis court.
Very funny. You're starting
to sound like Mr. Rawlings.
50% of marriages
end in divorce anyway, right?
So if your first one
doesn't work out,
then doesn't that give your
second one a better chance?
Statistically speaking.
What a day.
[line ringing]
Mr. Rawlings, it's Brooke.
I'm in.
Feel the love all around
See the smiles
across this town
'Cause the kids
are counting down
Feels like
Christmas is coming
Oh! Are you okay?
I think so. I might've
stubbed my pride though.
Fix your shirt.
Brooke Harris.
I remember you.
You do?
I mean, of course you do.
I remember you too,
Roger, um...
- Burkett.
- Right.
You should remember that.
It's going to be your last name.
Sorry. Bad joke.
Look, can we just agree
that this is a means to an end,
a little extra paperwork?
Quite the romantic.
You can get your job,
I'll get my promotion.
It's a little extra
Christmas gift for both of us.
Let's agree right now
not to complicate things, okay?
- Fine.
- Fine.
Will you marry me?
You betcha. Let's go.
Ooh! That's...
Cubic zirconia.
Ah! Perfect.
From the kiosk at the mall.
Oh, you shouldn't have.
There you have it.
You're officially married.
You may kiss the bride.
That's okay.
I'm good.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
And here's your check.
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.
You don't have to do that.
- Oh, no, I insist.
- No, really.
Look, the least I could do is
pay for the wedding reception.
You know, I never pictured
my wedding day
to be quite like this.
It's kinda weird,
isn't it?
Mm. My girlfriend would
certainly agree with you.
You have a girlfriend?
And now a wife.
Quite the modern man,
aren't I?
It's just that you think you
would've mentioned something.
You said yourself.
It's not real.
It's a signature
on a piece of paper.
But still, um...
How does she feel
about all this, hmm?
I think she'll understand.
She doesn't know,
does she?
Not yet.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
But I imagine, um...
she'll feel the same way
your boyfriend would feel,
if you had one.
And what makes you think
I don't have a boyfriend.
Well, don't get me wrong.
I appreciate everything
that you've been doing for me,
but I just assumed,
under the circumstances,
that you just didn't have
anything going on in that area.
Oh, I have plenty going on
in that area.
- Oh?
- Yes.
I have so much going on
that I can barely
keep track.
Oh, brilliant.
So this girlfriend of yours,
is she here or London?
Burnley, actually.
It's about 400 kilometers
north of London.
Nice place?
Oh, it's beautiful.
Simple. Working class.
My heart will always be there,
but I've always wanted
to spread my wings,
exciting new things--
live in the States.
Ah, and now you can.
Thanks to you.
Time for a wedding selfie.
A what?
Think of all the money we'll
save on a wedding photographer.
Say cheese.
[trolley bell ringing]
Thanks for lunch.
It was fun.
Yes, yes, it was.
So, uh, I guess
I'll see you around, huh?
Uh, Brooke?
Yes, Roger.
It is our wedding night.
I'll see you at work.
[playing "Deck the Halls"]
WOMAN: Congratulations!
- [cheering]
- MAN: Movin' on up!
WOMAN: Go, girl!
Excuse me.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
Go, Brooke! Go, Brooke!
BROOKE: Okay, here we go.
Oh, my gosh.
I know it's empty,
but it's got potential.
[line ringing]
Hello, it's Gwen.
Leave a message after the beep.
Hello, Gwen.
Look, I don't think I'm going
to be able to make it back
to England for Christmas.
I've just got too much
going on.
I don't know how long
I'll be staying in America.
Just started a new job.
But I promise I'll try
and visit after the holidays.
Oh, and I love you.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas, Santy.
Well, thank you very much,
young lady!
Merry Christmas to you.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
Santa says Merry Christmas.
Show some respect.
I mean, he's certainly been
working overtime for you.
New job, new condo,
new husband.
How is married life anyway?
Oh, it's perfect.
All I need now is
to get a divorce,
so I can find Mr. Right.
Maybe I should take
one of those single cruises.
That's a great idea.
That's how I met Ryan.
Amanda, I was kidding.
It's not a great idea.
I need you to imagine
an entire ship
filled with hot, single guys
and unlimited booze.
Mmm. Now that you
put it that way...
Best of all, you wouldn't even
have to set foot on a plane.
I mean, who knows?
You might meet somebody.
If your husband doesn't mind.
He already has a girlfriend.
Then it's perfect.
When am I gonna meet
this hubby anyway?
You do understand
that it's not real, right?
Because it's for a job?
Would it kill you to have
a little fun in the process?
Bye, Amanda.
Excuse me, young lady,
but it sounds to me
like your friend hasn't caught
the Christmas spirit yet.
Oh, don't get me wrong.
She's terrific.
It's just sometimes I just wish
that she could just let herself
fall in love, you know?
But that would be
a Christmas miracle.
Well, isn't Christmas
the time for miracles?
No offense, Santa Claus,
but I think that this miracle
might be a little much,
even for you.
Then I guess
I better get to work.
You see, we're selling
a whole new mindset.
"Fresher than fresh."
These mockups are amazing.
We got a new graphic designer.
He's from London.
I love it!
He's really talented.
He is, isn't he?
We'll be in touch.
I look forward to it.
You know, I'm happy
they promoted you, Brooke.
I feel our campaign's
in good hands.
Thank you.
I appreciate the support.
- We'll talk soon.
- Yes.
You are hilarious.
You're encouraging me.
Oh, hey.
You know what is so weird
is why didn't you tell me that
you and Roger knew each other?
Um, we didn't wanna tip off
human resources, you know.
Kind of a lucky break,
wouldn't you say?
I mean, if you hadn't
gotten married,
then you wouldn't have
gotten his job,
and you wouldn't have
gotten promoted.
Like you said, lucky us.
Yeah, well, I'm just so happy
to be around all this true love.
I'll see you around.
Mr. Rawlings.
I'm not interrupting anything,
am I?
No, not at all.
And, sir, it's Brooke.
What is?
My name.
- Is it?
- Yes.
I like Beth.
You know, it kind of
rolls off the tongue.
It is nice.
Not a bad office, huh?
And the clients all love
your husband, by the way.
- Really?
- Yeah.
how is married life
treating you?
It's fine.
Just fine?
What were you expecting?
Well, I saw the way
he was looking at you.
Just now.
Hmm. He was looking at me?
Yeah. I thought there would be
a few sparks
between the two of you.
I mean, it can't be all work,
Look, I'll admit,
he's talented,
but he's got a girlfriend.
Well, maybe you should think
about marriage counseling.
I'm sorry. That was a bad joke.
But you are bringing him
to the Christmas party tonight?
Oh, my gosh,
is that tonight?
It could be a nice date.
I got a lot on my plate.
I mean, you know.
Look, no one outside
the three of us
knows anything about
our little arrangement.
- Mum's the word.
- I'm just saying.
Wouldn't be a bad idea
to keep up appearances,
if you catch my drift.
Consider it caught.
I want you to know
that you will see
an appropriate expression
of my gratitude
in your bonus this year.
Thank you, sir.
You're welcome, doll.
Get some decorations in here.
It's Christmas.
You got it, Mr. Rawlings.
[line ringing]
Immigration services.
How may I help you?
Yes, who do I speak to
if I want to report a fraud?
Let me put you through.
Now where do I start?
Mrs. Burkett?
I think you have
the wrong unit.
Uh, Mrs. Brooke Burkett?
Oh, Burkett, yes, that's me.
Well, the door was open.
I'm Agent Nathan Hedge.
This is Agent Marie Adams.
We just want to ask you and
your husband a few questions.
My husband?
My husband's not here yet.
Is there a problem?
Like he said, we just wanna
ask you a few questions.
Well, you're a lucky woman,
Mrs. Burkett.
I would love to have a condo
like this.
Sorry about the mess.
We just moved in.
What's this about?
We received a call.
A call?
It's just departmental policy
to follow up.
Of course.
The lease on this condo
only has one renter's name.
Well, Roger, my husband,
he's from out of the country,
so we just thought
it would be best
to use my name on the lease.
Uh-huh. Tell you what.
Why don't we give him a call?
You mean now?
Excuse me!
I have my rights.
Would you like me
to read them to you?
- You can't just--
- Everyone is a little testy,
as I'm sure you can understand,
with Christmas coming.
We just want to get
this little matter cleared up
as soon as possible.
I understand.
So where is Mr. Burkett?
He's, uh, probably at work.
We work pretty late.
So you work together.
Is that a question?
No, I mean, yes.
We work together.
Is that where you met?
No, not at work.
Before work.
Long before that.
Where'd you meet?
A singles cruise.
With Roger being
from out of the country,
we vacation a lot
out of the country.
- Uh-huh.
- Tell you what.
Why don't you just
give your husband a call
and find out
what time he'll be back.
Yeah, I'll give him a call.
I'll try him at the office.
[line ringing]
Oh, voicemail.
Why don't you try his cell?
He dropped it in the bathtub
this morning.
You know, newlyweds,
marital bliss?
Let me cut to the chase.
In our experience, sometimes
two people enter a marriage
in order to grant
one of the parties citizenship,
in which case, the marriage is,
in fact, not real.
People do that?
You're kidding.
So dishonest.
Not to mention highly illegal.
It's called marriage fraud,
and it's a felony.
Look, Mrs. Burkett,
all we want to do is evaluate
if you and your husband
actually plan on sharing
a life together,
or if he simply got married
to evade the proper
immigration procedures.
I understand.
We'll be back on Monday.
Monday's Christmas Eve.
At which time you and
your husband must be present,
or there will be consequences.
Roger and I will be here.
Have a good day.
You too.
Come on.
Five years in jail?
- Lady, how about the keys?
- Oh, here you go!
Oh! Oh, Mr. Rawlings.
What is wrong?
The INS came to my condo.
The what?
INS, immigration service.
What'd they say?
Well, they were looking
for Roger and I,
and so I told them
that he was working late.
But trust me,
they're coming back.
I should have never
let you talk me into this.
You're a smart woman, Brooke.
You'll figure it out.
I have faith.
You think so?
But if this thing goes sideways,
I had nothing to do with it.
Roger! Oh, good.
Oh, I didn't realize
you were bringing a guest.
Um, Brooke, meet Gwen,
my girlfriend.
Gwen, Brooke, my, uh...
We work together at the office.
Yes. Gwen decided to fly in on
a surprise visit for Christmas.
Wasn't that... sweet?
Roger, we need to talk.
We have big trouble.
What is it?
We have an arrangement. Um--
See, we have an account.
The married couple account.
Oh, yes.
Brooke and I
are working on a campaign
about a newlywed couple
that's going to debut
on the Super Bowl.
Oh, the Super Bowl.
How exciting.
Well, the representatives
came by to discuss the account,
and they weren't very happy.
- Why?
- Because you weren't there...
- at the office.
- Oh.
So they said we have
until Monday
to get our presentation
or we are in serious jeopardy
of losing the account.
A presentation on Christmas Eve?
They were very insistent.
Darling, I knew I shouldn't have
sprung this little trip on you.
No, don't be silly.
I feel terrible.
Ifeel terrible.
I think I'm gonna throw up.
Maybe you're, you know,
- Ah, no!
- No!
Look, why don't I take you
back to the flat,
and then Brooke
can bring me up to speed.
And I'll meet you
back at the...
- Office.
- Yes.
- Right.
- No, darling, don't be silly.
I'll take a cab.
You take care of this emergency.
I love you.
GWEN: See you soon, darling.
Will you just relax?
Everything's gonna be fine.
Roger, someone reported us.
- Now you're being paranoid.
- Those agents?
Those agents,
they're gonna come back,
and they are
gonna want answers.
And they'll get them.
Haven't you ever
crammed for an exam?
You have a new condo.
No. Wehave a new condo.
We have excellent taste.
I've got messages.
Mr. And Mrs. Burkett, this is
Agent Hedge with the INS.
See? They probably
changed their mind already.
I was just confirming
our appointment
for 8 a.m.
Monday morning.
It's imperative that both you
and your husband are present.
- Guess not.
- Told you.
- [beep]
- Hey, babe, it's Amanda.
So Ryan sprung
a surprise date on me,
so I'm sorry, but I'm not
going to be able to meet up.
But I think that this is it!
How's everything going
with your prince? Bye!
- [beep]
- Hi, sweetheart, it's Mom.
Hoping you can make it
to the Christmas party.
- We'd all love to see you.
- Not now, Mom.
Look, I'm type-A.
I like to be prepared,
and I am not prepared for this.
Well, looks like I'm learning
something about you already.
Why aren't you taking this
more seriously?
- Oh, I am.
- Then why aren't you panicking?
Because I don't.
And I don't think
you have any reason to either.
Oh, really?
I can think of about
250,000 reasons.
That is if going to jail
isn't enough for you.
What are you doing?
I want you to calm down.
I am calm.
Just breathe.
In, out.
Come on. In, out.
Now, look, we are gonna
figure this out,
and everything is
gonna be all right.
All we want is
to create the illusion
that we're both living here
together, right?
Well, for starters, I would
never live in such filth.
- Filth?
- Not that I'm judging.
Oh, you're totally judging.
What can I say?
I'm a minimalist.
Are you ever gonna
read any of this?
I might.
At least your family
likes Christmas.
Yeah, they do.
That's my mom, dad,
and that's my sister Tracy.
And who is
this handsome bloke?
That's David, Tracy's fianc.
Are you going?
No, I wasn't planning to.
Oh, I forgot.
You hate Christmas.
I do not!
It's just that...
I don't love it.
Out of all the Americans
in the world,
I married Scrooge.
Don't you think we have more
important things to worry about?
Such as?
Figuring out
how not to go to jail.
Well, is that the only thing?
Bah humbug.
All right,
what else do we need?
Well, I told the agents
that we've been together
for a long time.
If that's the case,
something's missing.
How about that one?
Mm! Look at you.
That looks pretty good.
Thank you.
This might actually work.
It might, too, at that.
ROGER: Admit it.
Your life was a disaster
until I showed up.
All right, I'll admit it.
I was a little bit untidy.
But I had a lot
on my mind lately.
- [phone chimes]
- Oh.
I forwarded the pictures
to my phone.
Let's check out your work.
Ah, wow.
We actually look
pretty good here.
Sure do.
I mean, your Photoshopping
is nice.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
It's getting late.
I really should be going.
We still got
some more work to do.
Ah. Agreed.
We haven't decorated.
For Christmas.
Where are your decorations?
You don't have any.
I told you.
If I'm going to pretend
to live here,
there are going to be
Christmas decorations.
I thought you said
you were a minimalist.
Look, I could pretend
to be married,
but I can't pretend
I don't love...
the season.
Meet me tomorrow.
We will go get some
proper Christmas decorations,
and we'll pick out a tree.
A tree? Oh, no.
We can go get a fake tree.
We don't have
to get a real tree.
Talk about being messy.
The needles will
get everywhere, shedding.
By the time the 25th
comes along,
I will have you singing
"Jingle Bells."
I doubt that.
I don't.
We shall see.
Jingle bells
Jingle bells
Jingle every day
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a little
horse-driven sleigh
That is so not it.
- This isn't so bad, is it?
- What do you mean?
Eggnog peppermint lattes,
searching for
the perfect Christmas tree.
You don't think this is the most
wonderful time of the year?
Well, I guess I did
when I was younger.
Now it's like
the most lone--
awkward time of the year.
Any particular reason?
Your sister's fianc,
Look, if anything
is bothering you...
Look, I already
told you that--
Brooke, you don't have
to hide anything from me,
and you don't have
to face anything alone.
Thank you.
This was my wife's
favorite holiday.
You were married?
I was, in another life.
She passed away
a long time ago.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Oh, wow.
What is it?
That guy right there
is the agent from the INS.
Mrs. Burkett.
- Yes.
- Yes, hi.
It's funny
bumping into you here.
Someone insisted
that we decorate.
Oh, you must be
Brooke's husband.
Yes, Agent Hedge
from the INS.
This is my husband.
Burkett, Roger Burkett.
Roger, yes, right,
it's nice to finally meet you.
I'm sorry we missed you
How about this one, Dad?
Oh, yeah,
that's a really nice one.
This is Mr. and Mrs. Burkett.
This is Kate.
- Hi, Kate.
- Hello.
Either of you have children?
- No.
- We think well of dogs.
We were just
talking about that.
We're thinking possibly...
- Five.
- ...two.
I want a big family.
Sure you're married?
Honey, manners.
You know, my wife and I,
we actually met on
a Christmas tree lot years ago.
Really? So did we.
I thought you said you met
on a singles cruise.
Yes, it was a singles cruise.
It was a Christmas cruise.
- A Christmas cruise?
- Yes.
Can you believe they had
a tree lot on the boat?
Lots of trees.
How about that.
Honey, we should go
get this one, huh?
It was nice to finally
meet you, Roger.
- My pleasure.
- Oh, I guess that...
now there's no need
for the evaluation.
Agent Adams and I
will be at your residence
the day after tomorrow.
See you then.
Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
So how come you never
mentioned you were married?
Never really came up.
Like I said,
it was a long time ago.
So she loved Christmas, huh?
Loved it. Every year,
we'd have a big celebration,
a roaring fire in the fireplace,
roasted turkey on the table,
colorful lights
twinkling on the tree.
Sounds like a fairy tale.
You just need
to open yourself up.
Sit back, relax,
and take it all in.
I think my tree is crooked.
You do make me laugh.
Hey, I've got an idea.
No, you don't.
We should go to
your parents' Christmas party.
Are you crazy?
It's the chance to experience
a nice Christmas
with the family.
You don't know my family.
Exactly, and I'd love
to meet them.
- You would?
- Of course.
I suppose they're my family now
as well, aren't they?
Hmm. I suppose.
Besides, what better way
to learn more about you, right?
Not to mention it would be
a good dress rehearsal.
Dress rehearsal?
If we could fool your family,
we could certainly fool the INS.
- You're serious?
- Come on.
Bring your husband
to meet your family.
It'll be fun.
If I told my family I got
married, they would kill me.
Well, then, um...
I'll just have to pretend
to be your boyfriend.
I don't think
they'd buy that either.
- Why not?
-It's just that you're so...
Never mind.
It's not important.
But it sure would be nice
to show up with a date.
- What was that?
- Nothing.
I was just...
thinking out loud.
No, you said "date."
Did I?
I definitely heard "date."
Well, then...
a date it is.
I'll pick you up tomorrow.
- Good.
- Bye.
Feel the love all around
See the smiles
across this town
'Cause the kids
are counting down
Feels like
Christmas is coming
[doorbell rings]
Why are you so nervous?
Look, there's something
I forgot to tell you.
My ex-boyfriend's probably
gonna be here today,
and he's marrying my sister.
What? You didn't tell me--
Hey, hey, hey!
Oh, you made it!
Welcome home, sweetheart.
Merry Christmas.
And who's this?
This is Roger.
Roger, meet my parents,
Ava and Wade Harris.
My pleasure.
A pleasure, sir.
How you doing?
- Well, can we come on in?
- Come on! Come on in!
Is everything okay at work?
You mentioned
there might be, uh,
some kind of a merger
or something?
Actually, Dad, I made a deal
where my job is safe for now.
- Attagirl. That's thinking.
- Mm-hmm.
And how long were you gonna
keep this gentleman a secret?
We kinda just met.
He's so handsome.
He's kind of--
Well, isn't he a little
out of your league?
Thanks, Mom.
I just meant that you
hadn't dated a lot since--
I haven't forgotten.
Would you like to have
a drink, sweetheart?
You have the most
charming family.
Why, thank you.
Would you like a drink,
Sure, if it's not
too much trouble.
- Ahem!
- Drinker, are you?
Why don't you give me a hand,
I'm so sorry about that.
Oh, it's okay.
Oh, wow.
You and Mama always do it up big
for Christmas.
Well, Christmas comes
but once a year.
It's cause for celebration.
Right. Got any red?
Yeah, yeah,
it's somewhere around here.
- Um...
- Oh! Found it.
Oh, it's so good to have you
back home again, sweetheart.
There's still something
bothering you.
I can tell.
I'm fine, Daddy.
I know being here with your
sister and David is difficult,
but I want you to know
that I am so proud
that you finally decided
to come back home.
I love you, sweetheart.
I love you too, Daddy.
And it's really nice to see you
with someone again.
Is it serious?
Let's just say
it's a special situation.
I think you're
absolutely delightful.
I imagine
you hear that a lot.
Well, I think
you're delightful.
You must be very happy that
your daughter's getting married.
Oh, it's very exciting.
Yeah, Brooke,
she's excited as well.
She is?
Well, you know, that he and
her sister are happy together.
Well, that's a relief.
I think that's a big part of
why we haven't seen a lot of her
in the past few years.
It's a very awkward situation,
as you can imagine.
But she's obviously over it.
Yes, finally indeed.
Roger, you have to tell me
a little bit about yourself
because I couldn't get very much
about you out of my daughter.
Well, usually,
she goes on and on.
[doorbell rings]
Oh, I wonder who that is.
Hi, everyone!
Let's see the ring.
- Hi.
- How you doing?
You okay?
It's just a ring.
- You're jealous.
- I am not.
You're lying.
You have a tell.
A tell?
- Easily read.
- Oh, gotcha.
- I do not have a tell.
- You have lots of tells.
For example, when you flirt,
you tilt your head down
and look down your nose.
I am not flirting,
and I am not jealous.
You fidget when you lie.
And when you're embarrassed
or nervous,
you rub the back
of your hair or neck.
Then, of course,
when you're irritated,
you pucker your lips up
like you're sucking on a lemon.
Merry Christmas!
Hi, Brooke!
Hey, Tracy.
It's so good to see you
after all this time.
Hello, David.
Hi, Brooke.
Merry Christmas.
Congratulations, you two.
So are you gonna
introduce us?
Oh, yes, this is Roger,
my fianc.
Oh, my gosh!
Mom and Dad
didn't say anything.
Mom, Dad,
you didn't say anything
about Brooke being engaged.
Engaged? Who's engaged?
Brooke and Roger!
Brooke and Roger are engaged?
Oh, my goodness!
Ooh. Gaudy.
When are you
coming back to England
and get yourself
a proper job?
[line ringing]
[indistinct voice]
Yes, taxi, please.
Here we go.
[gasps, chuckles]
So this is
where you grew up.
Yeah, my parents turned it
into a guest room
when I went away to college.
Came home one weekend,
and everything was gone.
It used to be bright red.
Your favorite color.
How'd you know that?
It's the color scheme
of your flat.
It's also my favorite color.
One weekend my dad and I,
we painted the whole room red.
My teddy bear collection
used to be over there.
I still can't believe
that it's here.
My grandmother got me this.
- It's uncanny.
- [music box playing]
What is?
I have a music box
just like that.
Roger, I want to thank you
for talking me into
coming to see my parents.
Well, you're welcome.
I just been avoiding it
for way too long.
You don't have to face
any of it alone.
you just wait
until you meet my family.
Your family?
You mean in England?
Is that a problem?
Well, um, this is
a little embarrassing,
but, um...
gosh, I'm afraid to fly.
I get anywhere near an airport,
and I just freak out.
What is it,
the fear of heights?
No. Fear of falling.
You know what you really
have to watch out for?
- [laughs]
- I'm serious.
- Toddlers?
- They kick and kick,
and don't even get me started
on the crying.
Sounds like a wounded donkey.
I go back and forth
all the time. I should know.
Are there any ships?
So you're not afraid
of icebergs?
So tell me,
what are you afraid of?
Oh, excuse me.
Sorry. I forgot
where the bathroom was.
Did they paint
in here again?
Yes, they did, David.
Are you ready
for the big day?
Not yet.
A lot of planning
between now and June,
but we'll be ready.
How about you two?
Did you set a date yet?
- Well...
- Actually, um...
Hey, Dad!
How do you like your old room,
I kinda miss the red.
You're never gonna let me
live that down.
No, I'm not.
Roger, Roger, Roger.
Mr. Harris.
Oh. Mr. Harris.
Join me in my study,
will you?
We should probably
join them downstairs.
Yeah, yeah.
Brooke, can you believe it?
I mean, after all this time,
the two of us
are finally getting married.
Yeah, just to other people, huh?
Yeah, I'm just glad
we both found somebody.
Me too.
Brooke, I know you were always
afraid of being alone.
Now you know that was
just silly, right?
Roger, he seems like
a great guy.
Yes, he is.
I'm very happy for you.
Thank you, David.
Hey! Oh, hey.
I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.
No, I was just going
to use the bathroom.
Over here.
[bell dings]
[clears throat]
Roger Burkett, please.
Roger Burkett...
Sorry. Mr. Burkett
actually isn't here today.
See, we have everyone sign in
on the weekends,
and he hasn't been here
all day.
Are you sure?
Unless he slipped by me,
but it's highly unlikely.
Perhaps I can help you.
Oh, I'm looking
for Roger Burkett.
He just started working here.
Oh, yes,
the British graphic designer.
He's so talented.
And you are?
I'm the girlfriend.
So nice to meet you.
You as well.
- Follow me.
- All right.
Come on in my study.
Have a seat.
I have to admit,
you caught me off-guard.
Oh, well...
I... apologize.
Your daughter is very special.
I know.
What are your intentions?
My intentions, sir?
With my daughter,
with your life,
with your lives together.
I'll cut to the chase.
Roger, are you even a citizen?
Excuse me, sir?
You may not be aware,
but people generally refer to me
as a traditional man.
I've picked up on that, Wade.
Mr. Harris.
Uh, Mr. Harris.
Now, David, Tracy's fianc,
he's traditional, too.
Of course, we knew David
already, obviously,
but he asked
for our permission
before he even bought a ring
for my Tracy.
He went through
the proper channels.
Do you follow me, Roger?
It's funny you should
bring that up, sir.
Part of the reason
why we came here tonight
was to ask your permission.
Don't you know you're supposed
to ask for permission
before the proposal?
Sir, where I'm from,
we tend to do things
in a different order.
Just like we drive on
the opposite side of the road.
Well, I never thought
about that.
Yes. Here's something
from your side of the pond.
Take a look at this.
Is that a McKenzie single malt,
what, aged 30 years?
Forty. You a scotch man?
I am just an admirer, sir.
That picture?
I took on a golf trip
to Scotland on my 50th birthday.
"Citizen of the Year"?
Citizenship is more than
a piece of paper.
I'm getting sentimental
in my old age.
Seeing my daughters grow up
gets me to thinking
about my grandkids
and the world
they're gonna come in to,
and the country
they're gonna live in.
Whether it's here
or London or Scotland
or wherever it is,
I want my daughter
to be happy wherever she is.
Honestly, sir,
I can tell you
that even though
I've only known your daughter
for a short amount of time,
I can tell you that I have
never met anyone quite like her.
I just think
she's an amazing woman, sir.
A toast.
To my amazing daughter...
and your future wife.
Thank you, sir.
Mr. Harris.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Nice, huh?
You know, I can't tell you
how relieved I am
that you and Roger
are engaged.
What do you mean?
Come on.
We both know darn well
what I'm talking about.
You never got over him.
That's ridiculous.
Is it?
I saw you two
in your bedroom.
Tracy, I'm not sure
what you thought you saw.
I'm just relieved that we can
finally put this all behind us.
You know,
I almost felt guilty.
For you being alone.
You know, when David and I
ended up together.
Hi, sweetheart!
We need to go.
But you're not alone anymore,
are you?
It's Gwen.
Who's Gwen?
He has a pet bulldog.
- Oh.
- We need to go.
Listen, today was supposed to
have been your big announcement,
so we're gonna go.
Wait! Are you sure?
Brooke, please.
I'm really happy for you.
Thank you.
Merry Christmas.
I'll get the car.
Sorry you have to leave.
Honey, don't let this one
get away.
I actually really like him.
Your mother's right.
You got a good one there.
Bye, Daddy.
- I love you, Mom.
- I love you.
Y'all be good.
Bye, sweetheart.
So how long were
you and David together?
I understand.
It's probably a little awkward
to talk about.
Actually, it is.
You know, something
just occurred to me.
You've been all over my life.
My parents, my sister,
my ex-boyfriend, my house.
All so we can keep you
in the country.
Now we're running out of time
and rushing home
so you can spend Christmas
with your little girlfriend.
- Brooke--
- You're gonna propose to her.
May I remind you
that you're already married,
and marrying her
would be illegal,
almost as illegal as
our little sham of a marriage.
Brooke, what is this about?
It's crazy.
These past couple of days,
I actually felt myself
getting closer to you.
You're not a bad guy.
Was that a compliment?
But you're someone else's guy.
And no matter what happens,
I can't let myself forget that.
I'm just tired.
I'm tired of all the acting.
I'm tired of putting forth
all the effort
and then someone else
walks away with the ring.
First David and now...
I don't care anymore.
I don't.
If it didn't mean
going to jail,
I'd be perfectly happy
never seeing you again.
I just thought we were beginning
to be mates, you and I.
You mean friends.
Yes, friends.
That's what we want
people to think.
- Exactly.
- Exactly.
All we gotta do is just get
through this interview tomorrow.
After that, it's over.
Brooke, would you ever
leave the city?
You know, if you have
the right reason,
the right opportunity,
would you be open to--
I don't know--
going somewhere else?
- Gwen.
- What?
I'll see you tomorrow.
Hopefully for
the performance of your life.
Hi. What are you doing here?
The question is,
where have you been?
Well, I was at work with, um...
I still can't believe it.
I am so sorry.
This is why
I didn't come home.
It's why I've been
avoiding you all weekend.
It's not the job. It's...
It's why I didn't
come home for Christmas.
I was afraid to tell you.
That you're married?
That... I didn't
love you anymore.
- Ohh!
- I care for you, I do.
We've been together for so long,
Gwen, I didn't want to hurt you.
But we're not kids anymore,
is that it?
The thing is, you and I,
we're not on the same path
anymore, Gwen,
and I'm okay with that.
I've made my peace with it.
However, I feel strongly that
the responsible thing to do
is to end this thing
before it goes any further.
Do you love her?
I just met her.
That is not what I asked you.
That went well, didn't it?
Are you okay?
Ryan and I broke up.
Oh, honey.
Here I was expecting
to get a ring for Christmas,
and then he tells me
he needs time.
I mean, what does that
even mean?
So then he just tells me
that he wants to break up.
Like, just like that,
right before Christmas.
And now I have to take back
all of his gifts,
and I spent
so much money on him.
I mean, an obscene amount.
Like obscene.
Maybe now you can buy yourself
something nice for Christmas.
- Right?
- Yeah.
So how about you?
How about Roger?
You spent the weekend together.
That must have been nice, right?
Yeah, swell.
Well, any news?
Well, he's back
with his girlfriend,
and I'll probably be
getting arrested tomorrow.
Is that it?
- That's not enough?
- I know you too well.
You guys spent
the whole weekend together,
and there were no sparks?
No sparks at all?
Not even a single little one?
- Stop.
- What?
You love him.
Oh! I said stop!
Hey, sweets, what's wrong?
I've spent the past few weeks
pretending to be
married to someone,
and these past few days,
I've spent time with him
and got closer to him,
and he turns out
to be a great guy.
I mean, he is gentle, kind,
and sweet and...
Do you want to know
why I haven't been
to my parents' house for
Christmas the past few years?
- Your sister.
- No.
I mean, well, yeah.
But look, I'm just tired
of my parents asking me,
"When are you gonna
find somebody?"
I'm getting tired
of you asking me,
"When are you gonna
find somebody?"
I'm getting tired
of asking myself,
"When are you gonna
find somebody?"
But you have found somebody.
And he has a girlfriend.
He's probably proposing
to her right now.
So was Ryan.
- What?
- Brooke, you're smart,
and you're beautiful,
and you're talented,
but you're also
as stubborn as an ox.
I mean, when are you
gonna take a chance?
How do you expect
to get anywhere
if you won't even set foot
inside of an airport?
You need to get out of your
comfort zone and take a leap,
or you are never
gonna be happy.
You need to tell this guy
how you feel!
I mean, it may seem
a little bit rich,
me giving you
relationship advice right now,
since I have a broken heart.
But at least
I took a chance, right?
And it doesn't make me
think any less
that my prince
is out there somewhere.
And so is yours.
And he's closer
than you think.
Thanks, girl.
BROOKE: Where are you?
There was heavy traffic on
the way back from the airport.
Why were you at the airport?
Dropping off Gwen.
- Gwen?
- Look, I'll explain.
No, there's no time.
Have you forgotten
what today is?
No, no, no, no,
not at all.
Look, I finally told her.
They're here.
I've gotta stall, Roger.
Come on in.
- Nice photo.
- Thank you.
You seem a little nervous.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
It's just not every day
you have federal agents over.
Until recently.
We have a big day ahead of us,
so we want to make this
as quick as possible.
How long is your husband
gonna be?
He should be here soon.
He should be here, period.
There's a crack there.
Excuse me?
The picture frame.
There's a crack.
When was that picture taken?
Right after we met.
When was that again?
Oh, he's here.
Does your husband always knock
before coming into his own home?
Well, you know how guys are,
always forgetting their keys.
I'll be right back.
Here he is.
Honey, did you
forget your keys again?
Yes, yes, I did.
I figured since you
were gonna be here.
Of course.
- Agent Marie Adams.
- Pleasure.
Agent Hedge.
Nice to see you again.
Yes, Christmas tree lot.
Good to see you, too.
Now that everyone's here,
maybe we should get started.
You two get along okay?
Any spats?
Come on.
Find it hard to believe.
All this time together
and not a single argument?
What was
your last argument about?
It's hard to say.
ROGER: What was it about?
Oh, she was mad at me
for something, but, uh--
See that? That's what she does
when she's upset.
Told you. Upset.
No, honestly,
I think she's incredible.
And even though she refuses
to sing "Jingle Bells" for me--
Not true.
Look, I've only known her
for a short time, but...
I think she's brilliant.
What's the matter?
Don't you believe him?
I meant every word.
Even the part about only
knowing her for a short time?
Your Photoshopping
is very impressive.
It is your line of work, right?
Well, this is ours.
We've been doing this
a long time.
We know.
Look, um...
[clears throat]
Look, it was my fault.
Roger, don't.
Look, truth is,
anything that she's done,
she did it for me.
- You don't have to do this.
- No, no, I do.
Maybe I haven't been
as honest as I should've been,
but I have to do this.
Brooke is the sweetest,
most selfless woman
I have ever met,
and I don't want her
to get in any trouble.
She's in very big trouble,
Please, Mr. Hedge, I'll...
- I'll leave today.
- No.
Yes, you will.
And you, Miss Harris,
since your marriage
has proven to be fraud,
we'll be in touch
regarding court dates.
- Miss Harris!
- I understand.
I wouldn't leave the state
if I were you.
It's not a problem.
- [knocking]
- Hey.
I thought I was
the only one still here.
Well, I just thought
I'd get a head start
while it's still quiet.
Head start on what?
It's over, Mr. Rawlings.
I am going to be charged
with marriage fraud.
I'll probably be going
to jail tomorrow,
and Roger will be on his way
back to London.
- Oh, no. It's my fault.
- No.
I could have said no.
I should have said no.
Then why didn't you?
I didn't want to lose my job
right before Christmas.
Is that the only reason?
First of all,
let me say that I intend
to use every legal resource
at my disposal to help you.
Thank you,
Mr. Rawlings.
With all the trouble,
I couldn't help but notice
the worst thing was you're
losing Roger, am I right?
I was getting used
to having him around.
Having him around?
I think I've fallen
in love with him.
Then what are you
doing here?
Why aren't you on the way
to London to get him back?
'Cause the INS said
I can't leave.
That's because they don't
believe you love him.
Unfortunately, getting
a last-minute plane ticket
on Christmas Eve
would require
a Christmas miracle.
I got something better
than that.
I have a Black Card.
Is everyone there?
Great. I'll see you guys
at the airport.
Uh, hey, lady,
where you headed?
I'm getting a husband
for Christmas.
Ms. Harris.
- Excuse me. I'm sorry.
- What are you doing?
Hold this. One moment.
I can do it.
Sorry. I can do this.
I can do this.
What are you doing here?
I want to go with you
to England, Roger.
There's something
I've got to do first.
Mr. Harris.
May I have your permission
to ask your daughter
to marry me officially?
- Absolutely.
- Really?
Will you marry me?
Yes, Roger.
Welcome to the family, Roger.
Thank you, Mr. Harris.
Just call me Dad.
Now there's something
I need to do.
I can't believe this.
Tracy, I just want to say
that I'm sorry.
For what?
For being so selfish.
David is a great guy,
and he is so lucky to have you.
Thank you, Brooke.
Too bad you're such a pain.
The feeling's mutual.
- I love you. Come here.
- I love you.
Now, that's
the best Christmas gift
we've gotten this year.
And to think
we owe it all to Roger.
Thank you, Mother.
He called me Mother!
Merry Christmas,
Mr. Burkett.
Merry Christmas,
Mrs. Burkett.
- Well, I guess it's official.
- Yeah.
They are definitely in love.
Roger? Roger!
Okay, Daddy.
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh
Hey, jingle bells,
jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh
Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Ha ha ha
Bells on bobtails ring
Making spirits bright
What fun it is
to ride and sing
A sleighing song tonight
Hey, jingle bells,
jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh
Merry Christmas!

Feel the love all around
See the smiles
across this town
'Cause the kids
are counting down
Feels like Christmas
is coming
Baby, let's watch
the snow fall down
Falling down
this Christmas
I'll light the fire
and hold you close
The twinkling lights
The stocking's full
We'll let the holidays
fill our soul
Friends and family
Oh, yeah
Come around to make
the season bright
Everywhere around the world
People feel it
in their hearts
Yes, the magic
is about to start
Feel the love all around
See the smiles
across this town
'Cause the kids
are counting down
Feels like Christmas
is coming
There's a top
beneath the tree
And carols sound
in perfect harmony
Feels like Christmas
is coming
Maybe a little mistletoe
Mistletoe, oh
Let the holiday cheer begin
With the ones you love
And blessings from above
I never want to let
this feeling end
'Tis the season
For happiness and joy
around the world
You're the reason
I can feel it in my heart
Yes, the magic is
about to start