A Keller Christmas Vacation (2025) Movie Script
1
Oh, danke.
Or danke.
Oh, I'm just gonna text this.
There we go.
OK.
Are you ready?
Only 50 years in the making.
Now, you are gonna
have some spaetzle.
Oh, what's spaetzle?
It's German mac and cheese.
So I've been watching the tapes.
And there's a kid, Jalen Cruz.
Fifth-ranked QB out of Dallas.
Oh, my gosh.
You gotta see this kid.
I mean, he's got
the pocket poise of Brady.
He's got the gun like Lamar.
And he's only a sophomore.
I mean, this is the perfect
fit for your offense.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I know that look.
I'm gonna do it, buddy.
I'm gonna tell Lauren
that I love her.
Are you sure it's not too late?
I have to try.
It's now or never.
At her bon voyage
party, with her boyfriend?
What choice do I have?
She's moving across
the country tomorrow, to Maine.
You could have told her sooner.
Yeah, maybe you forgot.
I was a little preoccupied with
a marriage I was trying to save.
No, I mean before that.
Everyone's known that
Lauren's had a crush on you
since college.
Yeah, but I didn't know.
Well, maybe it would have
saved you a divorce if you
would have figured that out.
Not helpful.
Look, I have to fix this ASAP.
And then what?
Tomorrow morning, you're leaving
for Europe on this family
togetherness thing.
Christmas cruise on the Danube.
What if she says
she loves you back?
What are you gonna do?
You're just gonna
turn and go to Europe?
- No, she can come with.
- What about her boyfriend?
Oh, he's not invited.
Oh.
It's romantic, right?
Unless she's actually
in love with the guy.
In that case, super
awkward, potentially creepy.
And you run the risk
of losing a lifelong friend.
But, I mean, you know
I'm rooting for you.
Thanks for the vote
of confidence, buddy.
Watch that tape.
This is the future
of our program.
Yeah.
Hey.
Christmas potluck
is about to start.
Marge made this thing
called jingle juice.
I've had one.
I have so very many questions.
I'm uninspired.
You're the top
developer in the industry.
And thus my lack of inspiration.
I can't go any higher if I
keep doing the same thing.
Maybe your trip
abroad will inspire you.
Please, my parents will have us
scarf deep in Christmas
bonding activities.
I won't have time
to be inspired.
You're a real tree
topper today, huh?
Sorry.
I think I'm just
nervous about tonight.
Oh, fret not.
Everything's set up by me.
You're welcome.
Yes, but William...
But William what?
What are you doing here?
Absolutely not.
You better finish that
sentence right now, mister.
Or do I have to stand
back here and eavesdrop?
But William will probably have
his surgery go over and be late.
Yes, probably.
Be late for what?
I can hear the telephone.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Be late for what?
Dinner tonight.
Mm-hmm.
You and me,
to celebrate the five-year
anniversary of our meet cute.
Our anniversary is
on Christmas Eve, darling.
It's not for another week.
When we will be
sailing down the Danube,
about to stop in Durken...
Deggendorf.
All German cities sound alike.
Sure.
Um, on Christmas Eve, we're
going to be in Austria.
Vienna, in fact, which
is the most special city
to spend Christmas.
And we will be surrounded by
my entire family with zero alone
time.
Hmm.
What?
Oh, no.
What's that look?
Are you having second thoughts
about going on this trip?
Look, I know I vent to you
about these "forced family fun"
gatherings, but they're not
as bad as I make them out to be,
mostly.
I mean, Cal is uber competitive,
and Emory can play the martyr,
and my parents can be
a tad manipulative.
It's not that.
- Then what is it?
- Nothing.
Um, you know what?
I have to go back
to the hospital
to... to see to a consult. I
just thought I'd bring you these
so you could be the cool boss.
Your famous Christmas cookies!
Oh, thank you.
You're the best.
I am.
Dinner tonight?
Mm-hmm.
8 o'clock.
Think he suspects anything?
Please.
William's like me
at one of my brother's
fantasy football drafts.
Which means?
He hasn't got a clue.
Whoa.
Straight up, down the barrel.
Here we go.
Oh, there she is.
Thank you so much
for doing this.
No, thank you.
Paid enough for this camera.
I should definitely be
putting it to more use.
If I book this
commercial, I promise
I will pay you for this,
because headshots are
just so expensive these days.
I thought this was
for your dating profile.
You know I'm double
dipping with these.
You have to.
Yeah.
Speaking of dating, do you
remember Theo from Zach's party?
Theo?
No?
Cute in a buttoned-up
way, you know, programmer.
I mean, a little annoying,
but not really anything for you
to worry about.
I mean, everybody's
annoying, really.
Totally normal.
Do you remember him?
Not ringing a bell.
Well, he remembers you
and asked for your number,
so can I give it to him?
Theo.
Yes, I remember him.
Hard pass.
What?
All he wanted to talk about
was the latest data entry tool.
But you're a data analyst.
Only on paper
and on my paycheck.
But in my heart, it's really
just me and old Betsy here.
Besides, someday I would like to
date someone who actually makes
me feel special, like
how I see with my parents
or with my brother and William.
They're so cute,
it's disgusting.
You kind of have to date
a guy for longer than two
weeks for that to happen.
In theory, yes.
Well, um, I may have already
given him your number in theory.
Is that him?
OK, because I told him
to wait until I talked to you.
Sorry I am so late, sweetheart.
My surgery ran over.
Oh, wow.
Uh-huh.
I don't really know what to say.
How about, yes?
Hmm?
William Patel, I've thought
about this moment since about
24 minutes into sharing
those eggnog
Martinis at that fateful
Christmas Eve party
my brother dragged me to.
And now here we are.
The timing is perfect.
We're in love.
We're both at the top
of our respective careers,
and we're both within 5 pounds
of the ideal wedding body.
Our honeymoon photos
are gonna look so great.
What?
Obviously not
the most important part,
but not an unimportant part.
Dylan?
Sorry, I went off script there.
I just wanted everything
to be perfect.
Um, uh, this...
this is all wrong.
Yeah.
Yeah?
What do you mean by yeah?
Combined with whatever face
this is that you're making.
You need to come clean.
You've been acting very
weird for the past few weeks.
Dylan, you've made
a lovely dinner.
Yeah, let's... let's go eat now.
Now's just not the right time.
Not the right time for what?
This discussion
or getting engaged?
Both.
I see.
Then I guess now is not
the right time for you to go
- on a cruise with my family.
- No, no, Dylan.
Come on.
We've been planning
this for months.
Your mom and dad, they're
gonna be expecting this.
I understand that,
but I know you, William.
I know when you're
keeping something from me.
And until you're ready
to tell me what that is,
we need some distance
from each other.
Sorry.
Distance?
What do you mean by distance?
Like the Atlantic
ocean, for now.
Oh come on.
No, Dylan, now's not the time to
be making these rash decisions.
I'm not being rash!
OK, that was rash.
This isn't a breakup.
I'm setting a boundary.
When you are ready to tell
me about whatever this is,
we can go back to normal.
But until then, we need space.
You don't understand.
It's not that simple for me.
It is for me.
I have an early flight
to catch in the morning.
Mm-hmm.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I can't believe they
sent you an email.
Mass email.
Entire department.
Poof!
Gone.
Replaced by robot overlords.
Oh, no.
What are you gonna do?
Well, I'll start by scrolling
all of the various job sites,
apply to every single one
of them, even the ones
I am not fully
qualified for, and then
anxiously refresh all
the pages every 17
minutes just to make sure I
didn't miss any single listings.
Oh, boy.
Then I will spam every data
analyst recruiter's inbox
with my resume, which will
be pointless because nobody
hires over the holidays.
- Are you good?
- Me?
Oh, no.
I'm great.
I'm great, because also,
in about six hours,
I will scramble to pack
my suitcases before I set off
on a multi-stop economy
flight on Air Cordinia, which
as of six hours
ago, I did not know
existed, to go spend seven
days along the Danube River
with my parents
and two older brothers.
Yeah, I'm not seeing
the problem here.
Not to mention that my brothers
haven't checked in on me in I
don't even know how long.
Have you checked in with them?
This is my pity party, Nic.
I don't need
a rationale right now.
You're complaining
about a trip to Europe
to someone who's never been.
Read the room.
- You're right.
- Right.
You're right.
I shouldn't complain.
It's a middle seat
the whole way.
Still don't feel bad for you.
It is just absolutely
the worst timing.
At least you'll have
your family there to support you
through all this.
Oh, no, there is a 0%
chance I am telling them.
You don't understand.
My brothers are, like, these
perfect human specimens.
Cal is this chiseled-jawed
former college
football player who is now a
big-time college football coach.
And Dylan has
eyebrows for days and
is this super successful
home builder who's
dating a literal neurosurgeon.
I can't go on this trip
single and unemployed,
or I will officially be
the failure of a sister who
cannot get her life together.
You know what, though?
It's fine.
It's fine.
I am just going to smile and
take photos and eat every pastry
that enters my eyeline.
I don't like this one.
And there's my kid brother,
always arriving in style.
Well, one of us had
to take after our mother.
Too bad it wasn't her daughter.
Let me help you with your bag.
OK.
Let me help you with your hair.
What is this?
Give me a break.
I've been traveling
for 27 hours.
From Denver?
Well, my flight had four
stops, thank you very much.
- Was one of them Australia?
- No.
It looks like your hairdo's
from down under, mate.
So the brotherly barrage begins.
We gotta get this out.
Oh.
Look, a little cutie.
Look, a little cutie.
OK, that's... that's enough!
Where's William?
I was hoping he could shield
me from some of the teasing.
Yeah, did he get
cold feet or something?
Oh.
There they all are.
Mom and Dad!
Keller family squeeze.
Oh.
After five long years, we
can resume the adventure!
Simmer down, Dad.
This is basically a floating
retirement community.
How crazy can it get?
Yeah, nothing's crazier than
doing a triple black diamond
on your first ski trip.
Hey, those trails
were not clearly marked,
but the helicopter ride
to the hospital, not bad.
There'll be no
accidents this trip.
This is about our family
bonding and having
a great family Christmas.
Or I'll send you to your cabin
without any dinner.
Oh, I don't sound like that.
That was pretty
accurate, actually.
Where's William?
He's gonna join us, right?
I don't know yet.
Oh, well, you
know neurosurgeons.
They do important work.
Let's get you guys checked
in to the fun boat.
All right, let's go!
Hey, the Runias did this
exact cruise last year,
and they raved about it.
And we know how
busy you are, so we
are so grateful that you could
you all make this a priority.
And I cannot wait to hear
everything about you three.
This is your cruise
director extraordinaire.
He'll get you settled in.
We will be in the star lounge.
Oh, we have star
status with Polara.
- Look at you.
- Fancy.
Of course, you do.
Well, great pleasure to finally
meet the full Keller family.
Anne and Ben have been
telling me about you
- since they boarded the ship.
- Oh.
My name is Noah, and it
is my great pleasure
to have you all aboard.
Your name is Noah,
and you work on a boat?
Yes.
And the guests usually
come in twos as well.
Well, we're all single here.
But you don't have to rub it in.
Oh, no, I...
I must apologize.
I did not mean to offend you.
Oh, don't mind my brothers.
They... they thrive
on embarrassment.
I see.
Well, just get
settled in and meet
us in the grand horizon lounge.
Champagne kickoff is
gonna be in half an hour.
So here are your keys.
Let's go.
Thank you.
Would you like some
help to your room?
Bitte.
And here's your cabin.
Ah, thank you so much.
I know my brothers could have
been a little more helpful,
but what are you gonna do?
FYI, the upper deck is
great for your photography.
How do you know
I do photography?
Could be the very fancy
camera draped around your neck.
Right.
I wear it so much, I
sometimes forget it is there.
So you are a professional?
No.
I mean, I did that
for a little bit,
but I prefer to regularly pay
my bills, so I got a safe job.
But this week I am
on full family photo duty.
Gosh, I wish I could
hire you to help me.
The photographer for my new
marketing campaign
dropped out last minute.
So now it's all up
to me and my phone.
Oh.
Wait, do you speak German?
No, more like trying
to survive German.
God, it is really hard.
I'm picking up a few words
and phrases here and there.
Wunderbar.
Wonderful.
Great.
Well, enjoy your stay and look
forward to having you aboard.
Hmm.
OK.
Last one to the lounge
has to chug his champagne.
This is a cruise
ship, not a frat house.
Oh... oh.
Resist the urge to sleep.
You got to power
through the jet lag.
You want me to stay
hydrated, too, coach?
And hit the showers.
Gladly.
Here you go, Grandpa.
I packed an extra one.
Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
I'll come and get you
in 10 for the meet and greet.
I'll be the envy of all the men.
Hmm.
Good afternoon, guests, and
welcome to our Polara
Christmas adventure.
As most of you already
know, my name is Noah.
And I just quickly want
to recap the itinerary.
So we're gonna stay here
in Regensburg tonight
and head to the markets
tomorrow.
They don't open until noon, so
we have a fun little competition
organized for you.
All right, let's go.
It's a team gingerbread
contest with a European twist.
Well, I'm not a fan
of long speeches,
so I'm just gonna say prost.
Prost!
Hello, neighbor.
Oh, hi.
Ron Peyton.
Cal Keller.
And this is my lovely
granddaughter, Felicity.
Hi.
Nice to meet you.
We're both from Seattle.
Oregon.
So, fellow Pacific
Northwesterner.
Are you here on your own?
Currently, yes.
I'm waiting for my siblings
and my parents to join me.
They are chronically
late for meal time.
You seem to have
another two places.
- Can we join you?
- Grandpa.
What?
I don't see any other two-tops.
We won't be any bother.
No.
Help yourself.
Great.
I'm gonna hit
the washroom quick.
Uh, Felicity, why don't
you keep Cal company
until his family arrives?
Great idea.
Please.
I'm sensing this is a pattern.
Oh.
My grandfather is one... one
of my favorite people ever.
But even he'll admit,
he can be pushy.
And since my divorce
last year, he's
made it his mission to put
me in the path of any and
every potentially single man.
Uh, like putting you at a
table with a complete stranger.
Precisely, not that you
don't seem like a nice person.
But a cruise with
Grandpa maybe should
just be a cruise with Grandpa.
Not a dating reality show.
Exactly.
Well, if it makes
you feel any better,
I know how painful
a divorce can be.
Plus, I just got my heart
broken by the one that got away.
So the last thing I'm looking
for on this family trip
is romance.
Wow.
And I thought
my situation was hard.
Hmm.
Sorry about that.
Oh, thank you.
I'll get through it as long
as I get some food in me.
Where is my family?
Sorry to do this, but I just
saw a small table open up.
I think I'm gonna
snag it before Grandpa
comes back with champagne and
chocolate-covered strawberries.
Sounds good.
See you around.
You know, in general,
or at the elimination ceremony.
Good to meet you, Cal.
Yeah, you too.
Honey, are you almost ready?
We better get going before
this thing escalates.
Just tying the ol' shoes.
Do you think this
was a good idea?
The kids haven't seen
each other in ages.
Well, more the reason
for a family adventure.
Our most important one yet.
It'll be fine.
Oh, no.
We gotta go now.
Let's go now?
Oh, Dylan.
Mm-hmm.
This is the gingerbread
contest like you've never seen.
We are not just
building houses here.
We are in Europe.
And Europe is known for its
incredible architecture.
So put your heads
together, and make
one of the many
iconic structures
you can find on this
beautiful continent.
You have a lot of ingredients
in front of you,
as long as you
don't eat them all.
And if you need anything
else, just ask me or my staff.
You got one hour.
Achtung, fertig, los!
Got it.
Team Keller, we got this.
All right.
Oh, Dylan, I want you
to take point because you're
- the home builder.
- If you insist.
Hold on.
I'm the oldest.
All I do all day is
literally build homes.
Not with gingerbread, you don't.
Oh, and you do?
As a matter of fact,
our football team
did a gingerbread build at the
children's hospital last year,
and we made a killer North
Pole, thank you very much.
Oh, just one?
Yeah, my company did
a gingerbread house
competition every year.
I was there... count them...
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 years.
Was?
Was, as in, I'm here now.
- Oh.
- Maybe Em should be in charge.
No, your mother's in charge.
I think Dylan should lead the
concept, given his experience
as a home developer.
Thank you.
And Cal's steady hands can
hold the walls because he's
great in a competition.
And, Emory, you can share your
gingerbread insight as we go.
- Mix water in the icing.
- Noted.
Now, we need to come up
with a famous building.
Easy.
Wembley Stadium, London.
I don't think that's what they
meant when they said iconic.
Oh, Roman Colosseum.
Now, that is iconic.
Now we're talking, sis.
This is a Christmas competition.
Maybe we choose a building where
a little less murder occurred.
- Mm-hmm.
- Like where?
Well, since we're going
to Vienna, what if we went
with the famous opera house?
Snooze.
Those are decorations.
I'm hungry.
You just had breakfast.
I'm having about double.
Oh, my gosh.
We're doomed.
Guys, we're running out of time.
Almost done?
You can't rush
the planning phase.
How's the mixing?
The glue is the most
important part.
All right, everyone.
30 minutes left to go.
Let's do this.
Careful.
The frosting hasn't
hardened yet.
No, Cal, Cal, don't... oh!
Sorry.
We're gonna need to pivot.
We should have built a stadium.
Everybody, please
listen up for a second.
We made it to our first
Christmas market
here in Regensburg, Bavaria.
Those of you who
are, say, gentle
walkers, you can stay
near me if you would like.
The rest of you are free
to wander the market,
which fills the whole park.
But remember, the boat will
leave tonight by 7:00 PM,
so make sure you're back from
the markets by then, all right?
The dock has a very
strict schedule,
and we will leave without you.
All right, have fun.
Enjoy yourself.
Feel free to split
up and explore.
But I have found a super
fun activity for all of us.
So I want you there.
OK?
Why am I afraid
to ask what it is?
Bavarian dancers!
Oh.
Like Dylan's Heritage Day
dance back in second grade.
The Schuhplattler.
Yes.
I had a love-hate
relationship with that outfit.
Oh, it's still in the closet.
OK, let's go.
Come on.
Yeah, cool.
Let's go this way.
Let's get some food.
Oh, did you ever
get to Regensburg
when you were at the Olympics?
No, there wasn't time.
But I'm glad I'm
here now with you.
Oh.
You have
reached Dr. William Patel.
I am not available
at the moment, but...
I am worried about Dylan.
Something is not right.
I feel it.
He'll tell us when he wants to.
He always does.
Ha-ha!
You're really crushing
on the Prussian, eh?
- Hey.
- Oh, watch the gluhwein.
What's gluhwein?
Oh, hot, spicy mulled wine.
Think of it as my apology
for crushing
your gingerbread dreams.
Oh, apology accepted.
- Cheers?
- Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Where are Mom and Dad?
They're hanging with
the gentle walkers group.
Since when are
they gentle walkers?
Dad's an Olympic speed skater.
Yeah, before we were born.
Life's full
of unforeseen changes.
Hey.
Oh, just let him have it.
He's wound tighter
than a watch spring.
Hmm.
Oh, a watch spring is something
that used to be in watches
which you wore on your wrist.
You're done.
I'm getting another gluhwein.
OK.
Do not touch that pretzel.
Wouldn't dream of it.
Guten tag, l'chaim.
Epic gingerbread victory.
My brother's envy
knows no bounds.
He seems to have recovered.
Well, don't let
the dancing fool you.
He's plotting his revenge.
I'll keep alert.
Yeah.
In the meantime, we're
heading back to the boat
with the early returners.
Grandpa's done a lot
of walking today.
All right.
I'll see you back
on the boat, then.
Mom wants us to stick around
and watch the dancers.
More family bonding.
Are you gonna be dancing, too?
Well, you never know
what will happen when
the accordion takes a hold.
Now that I'd like to see.
Oh.
Wait.
That was not meant to be flirty.
Disregard.
Oh, I heard nothing.
Nothing except the sweet
sound of compressed air
mingled with keyboard.
Jet lag is catching up with me.
I think I'm gonna join
the group returning to the boat.
Uh, Ben, come with?
What about the finale?
This was your idea.
Well, you should stay.
And keep track of Dylan.
Looks like he's
a few gluhwein deep.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
OK.
Weird.
What is going on with him?
No clue.
Do you think it's his typical
over stressing about work?
No, this feels personal.
William.
Is anyone feeling badly
that I don't have a partner?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Thank you, but don't worry.
I already found someone
who suits me quite nice.
Oh, whoa.
It's happening, it's happening.
But first, you need
some new clothes.
Fire up the camera now.
Yeah, Dylan!
That's what I'm talking about.
Woo!
This is the best
day of my whole life.
Oh, that took
longer than expected.
- What time is it?
- Thank you.
I'm starving.
Oh, my phone must have
switched to European.
What's 18:35 in American?
That's the time?
We gotta go, guys.
We gotta get to the boat now!
Oh, no.
Dylan!
Oh, wait.
Come on, guys.
Almost there.
Wait.
I'm coming.
Hike up those lederhosen!
You're kidding me.
Are you sure that
this is the right dock?
I dropped a pin.
You can drop a pin, but you
can't set your phone to a time
you can actually read?
You have a phone, too.
I was getting the.
Schmockelbocken.
Not what it's called.
Surprised Mom and Dad didn't
try to call and warn us.
They went back to the boat.
They're probably asleep.
Ah, sleep sounds
lovely right now.
- I'm gonna call.
- I'll call them.
You.
Where are my regular clothes?
Oh.
The good news is passengers
missing the boat is not
as uncommon as you would think.
You will simply have
to meet us at our next dock,
which is Deggendorf.
And the bad news?
We are
only there until 6:00 PM,
and you will have to secure
your own transportation.
Oh, and you have to find
a place to sleep tonight.
OK, we'll get a hotel room.
Well, it's four
days before Christmas.
Your chances of finding a hotel
room are very, very slim.
I'll contact a few colleagues
and see what I can do.
In the meantime, please
send us your exact location.
All right?
OK, I'm gonna hang up now
so we can start looking.
Thank you.
I should never have suggested
you go to the hotel to rest.
But you were right.
I needed to.
This is not my idea
of family bonding.
How's it going?
Find anything?
Nothing.
Who steals another
man's clothes?
Not you.
Emory is searching
for an available hotel room.
Oh.
Noah was right,
I checked online.
He called all his contacts.
Nothing is there.
Everything is booked,
even the hostels.
We are so not
staying in a hostel.
That's right Captain Gluhwein.
Because we are not
staying anywhere at all.
What the Hilda?
American Dylan.
Oh, we missed our boat.
And somebody stole my clothes.
Don't worry, my liebchen.
You can keep the lederhosen.
And they fit great.
But what we're more worried
about is catching the riverboat
our parents are on.
Is there a night
train to Deggendorf?
The last one would have
left half an hour ago.
I would take you
in the van, but I'm headed
in a different direction.
Is there, like an all-night
restaurant or something?
We could park at one and order
some strudel or cocoa or...
This is not Berlin.
Nothing here stays
open all night.
How about an open
park bench for sleeping?
My cousin Gunther converted
his barn into a hotel.
It's just outside the city.
I can take you up
the mountain myself.
Will you excuse us
for just one minute?
OK, we're all out of options.
I say we do it.
An off-the-grid mountain hotel?
Uh-uh.
I've seen this movie
before, and it usually
airs around Halloween,
not Christmas.
Red flags abound.
OK, if we get there and
something seems off, we bail.
Bail where, into a snow cave?
I'm the oldest.
I'll protect you.
Ew.
We'll protect you.
I may not have been
a collegiate athlete,
but you should see what I
can do on a Pilates reformer.
It's not a competition, Dylan.
Said Cal Keller never.
No one is protecting
anyone from anything.
We are going to stay
right here in Regensburg
and take our chances
with the elements.
Fine, we go with Fraulein Hilda.
Let's hope she also
believes that the hills are
alive and not the alternative.
Yeah.
OK, Hilda on three.
No.
No.
What?
Hi.
When she said it
was a converted barn,
I was expecting more hay.
Why do I feel like
I'm on the inside
of a future True Crime podcas?
I'm into it.
Success!
There is room
at the inn, but only one.
We'll take it.
Cousin Gunther is busy tomorrow,
so he said he will
have Hansi take
- you to the dock in Deggendorf.
- Hansi?
Yes.
That's very kind
of you, Hilda, thank you.
It's my pleasure.
And if the room is too
small for the three of you,
you are more than welcome to
travel on with me to Heidelberg.
Oh, tempting, but I really
should stay with my family.
Of course, my sweet Dylan.
But we will always
have Regensburg.
My little liebchen.
Dibs.
What?
No, I have a sciatica!
That's not a real thing.
Yes, it is, ask my doctor!
Stop!
What would dad say about
Keller chivalry if he knew
his sons let their baby sister
sleep on the cold, hard floor
at Christmas?
Fine.
There you go.
Oh, a pillow.
Thank you so much.
Do we really have
to sleep with the lights on?
Have you seen
the creepy elf above me?
The trauma is real.
Guys, why do you think
Mom and Dad really asked
us to come along on this trip?
What do you mean?
We've done a million
of these trips,
filled up a million scrapbooks
with forced family fun photos.
Yeah, but this one
was so last minute.
And didn't you feel
like they were super
insistent that we all come?
Like, we haven't done one
in almost five years, you know.
William has never
even been on one.
Yeah.
Did he not want to come because
he was worried about spending
too much time with all of us?
I don't want to talk about it.
OK.
I think we're here
because we haven't done one
of these in a really long time.
Dad's retired now and always
wanted to come back to Austria
to relive his glory days.
Yeah, and Mom loves this region.
It's like the most
Christmassiest place
I've ever Christmased.
I hope you're right,
but I don't know.
I'm just scared they're
holding back somehow.
Sure you're not just projecting?
What's that supposed to mean?
I don't know.
I learned that it was
something I was doing a lot
when things got bad with Angie.
I started worrying about
everybody else's problems
instead of realizing that I
was the one who was struggling.
Oh.
Hey, Em, will you do me a favor?
Yeah.
Will you check and make sure
that it's really Cal over there?
Seriously, who are you?
It's still me.
Just have grown
a little, I guess.
Look, just know that
if either of you want to talk
to me about anything, I'm...
I'm here for you.
I may be cramped in the corner
of a 19th-century German
guest house, but I'm here.
Love you guys.
I love you, too.
Love you, too.
Dylan!
This is Hansi?
Ja.
Cool.
Hilda said we can
leave it at the docks.
Her cousin Kurt will
pick it up later.
- When did she say that?
- She texted me.
When did she get your number?
We had a connection, OK?
It's a Schuhplattler thing.
You wouldn't understand.
- Dankeschon, mein Freund.
- Shotgun.
- Driver.
- Oh.
They are on their way.
Your narration
of their every step
is better than an audiobook.
Oops.
Oh, I got it.
Do you mind if a couple
of stragglers join you?
Please do.
Thank you.
Anne has been entertaining
me with our children's
little detour.
How far off are they?
Cruising through the mountains
on their way to Deggendorf.
Moving slowly,
but they're moving.
Cal is in charge.
He is great at logistics.
He takes after his dad.
Natural born leader.
Are we seriously lost?
Do you know how many of these
road names end in "strabe"?
That B makes an S sound.
It's strasse.
And strasse is
the German word for street.
Even I know that.
OK, well, what
strasse should we be on?
And you made a left at.
And the difference is?
The little dots!
The umlauts are important.
OK, well, then we'll
have to double back.
Good thing we don't have
to be there until 6:00 PM.
Oh, good thing we don't
have to be there till 6:00 PM.
Why are you so touchy when you
don't have your morning protein?
Very important
for my metabolism!
Oh, not even close.
Watch this.
Oh, on the edge.
No.
Not bad.
No, no.
I'm sorry to bother you,
but there has been a change
of plans about Deggendorf.
A change?
The port has a conflict.
They double booked us with
another cruise line that
had engine trouble,
so we are going
to have to depart here early.
Wait, can they do that?
In emergencies, yes.
Well, how early?
2:00 PM.
Wait, no.
Cal and Emory and Dylan
are still on their way.
I know, I'm sorry,
but we have our orders.
It'll be OK.
Yeah.
I'm lowering my Yelp
review of Gunther's Hotel.
Because Hansi has
a broken gas gauge?
And my pillow smelled like hay.
Oh, mine, too.
I thought it was me.
I've been wearing the same
clothes for 24 hours.
We all stink, sweetie.
I don't think this
costume's been washed, ever.
Can you wash leather?
You know, this is
definitely less than ideal,
but I'm really glad
you guys are with me.
I forgot how much fun you are.
It's almost worth the torture.
Oh.
Keep pushing!
Hey.
So new news.
Really?
Yep.
I was gonna tell
you guys last night,
but I didn't have
the mental energy.
Oh, I always thought
she was in love with you.
Yeah, well, she got over it.
Are you gonna be
able to get over it?
Eventually.
It's my fault. I always
knew she kind of liked me,
but after the divorce, I
was afraid to put myself
out there for fear of failure.
And then when I was
ready, it was too late.
And as long as we're sharing...
Oh, no.
What?
Guys, we gotta go now.
Oh.
What are you doing?
Driving the rest of the way.
You guys always say
I drive too fast.
Here's where it comes in handy.
Do you even know how
to drive this thing?
I delivered for Scoot
all through college.
I didn't know that.
A girl's gotta eat.
OK, hang on.
Where are they?
They should be right here.
We're here.
We're here.
We made it!
There they are.
We made it.
We made it.
Don't leave.
We're here, we're here.
We're here, we're here.
Stop the boat!
Stop the boat!
Let's go, let's go.
Tell them to stop it!
Hey.
We made it.
We made it.
We made it!
Oh, we did it.
We did it.
Room for one more?
Oh.
Oh.
Where are you going, darling?
And why are you
dressed like an elf?
I'll have you know this is
traditional Bavarian mountain
attire.
And Hilda said I pulled
it off quite nicely.
I'm sorry, Hilda?
Who is Hilda?
Somebody who was there
for me when I needed them.
Why are you here?
Because we agreed to be
on this trip together.
And then we changed our mind.
And you didn't think to call
or text that you were coming?
I thought it would
be better in person.
Are you ready to tell
me what's going on?
OK.
Dylan.
Dylan.
- Where... where are you going?
- Elsewhere.
Ow!
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You know, I thought
you'd be glad to see me.
I am glad to see you, truly.
But I set a boundary,
and I am sticking to it.
If you're not ready to tell
me why you're acting so weird,
then I still need my space.
Do you need my space?
I promise not to snore.
You'll fail.
Miserably.
Wow, your room is really tiny.
Mom texted there's a big hot
cocoa bar in the horizon lounge.
I was gonna hit
up Bobsled Bingo,
but I think I need
to shower first.
Yes, you do.
Get showered, text me later.
Yeah.
Em, oh, oh.
I got it, I got it.
Hi.
Well, well, the great
adventurer has returned.
Oh, guess you heard.
Oh, we've all heard.
The Keller kids are now
infamous up and down the Danube.
Really?
From the German
Alps to the Black Sea.
Fascinating.
Well, we're usually good
for at least one near-disaster
per family adventure.
So tell me, how is one
of your family fun adventures
different than
a regular vacation?
Well, basically, we go
someplace where it's just us,
or a group setting.
How did you know?
A group setting like this,
where there's everybody,
and we don't get
to have fun or relax.
We just have to do themed
events so we can reconnect.
It's annoying at first
because we tend
to get on each other's nerves.
But eventually?
Not so bad.
As an only child,
I'm officially jealous.
Well, you're more than
welcome to join us the next time
we miss the boat.
I don't know
if I'm that jealous.
Cheers.
And now another marshmallow.
Smile.
Christmas came early.
Huh?
I just got your email
with a link to the photos.
And I did not expect this.
Consider it an apology for all
the trouble we caused yesterday.
Apologies accepted.
This is great work.
I have to pay you for this.
That is not how presents work.
OK, at least let me
pay you what I would have
paid the other photographer.
Well, that's really
not why I sent them.
But the truth is, I
could kind of use it.
Oh.
Yeah.
I haven't exactly shared
this with my family,
but I got let go from my job
just before I came here.
Oh, I'm sorry.
But after consideration,
I will take you up on your
demand for unsolicited payment.
Exactly.
Then if you continue to take
more photos like this,
I will pay you
for those, as well.
I'll even send you a contract
tonight to keep everything
official, Ms. Emory Keller.
You got yourself a
photographer, Mr. Noah Schafer.
Great.
So let's see you at the cocoa?
Great, that's a good idea.
Dylan.
Hi, William.
Hello.
Have you talked
to my parents yet?
Been catching up with them.
Did you tell them about us?
What would I tell them?
I honestly wish you
would tell me what this is.
Ah, dinner time.
Let's not be late.
We want to celebrate
William's arrival.
You guys go ahead.
We need a Keller kids
family conference.
OK.
We'll join you in a minute.
Don't be too long.
Well, what has he told you?
Nothing.
And that's so unlike William.
His consistent honesty
is one of the reasons
I fell in love with
him in the first place,
that and his chiseled jawline
and his brain, his accent, his...
Hey, you want me to talk to him?
No, please don't do the big
brother talk, but thank you,
though, I appreciate it.
I'm just... I'm afraid he's
fallen out of love with me.
Look, I'm certainly not
an expert in long-term
relationships, but I don't think
someone flies halfway around
the world to be with you...
And their entire family.
If they've fallen out of love.
I hope you're right.
Thank you.
At least one of us
is doing OK, huh?
I got laid off by mass email.
And I'm gonna stop talking now.
Please don't tell Mom and Dad.
I just really don't
want to worry them.
Oh, we won't, Em.
And I'm sorry that happened.
Yeah, you don't deserve that.
Thank you.
On the plus side, Noah
hired me to take photos
for the rest of the trip,
so at least I'm good until I
figure out my next steps.
All right.
New crush coming through.
He's not a crush.
Please, the whole boat
can see it, and half of them
- are legally blind.
- Oh.
Can we please not freeze
out all the warm fuzzies
we got going on right now?
Sorry.
So what are you gonna
do with this not
crush who's totally a crush?
Nothing, because we're
working together
and that would be wrong.
Oh, kids, dinner now.
Really?
Oh, my gosh, come on.
He's always like this.
Welcome to Salzburg,
the birthplace of Mozart.
I have earpieces
for anyone who's
interested in some
guided history,
but feel free to wander off and
explore the city on your own.
Some of you should be reminded
to be back at the buses
at 8:00 PM, the latest.
You know who you are.
Also, each of you gets 20
euros for the white elephant
gift exchange tomorrow night.
No need to thank me
because you already
paid for this in advance.
Here we go.
Make it fun.
Here.
All right,
Kellers, what's the plan?
OK, I don't feel like
keeping up with the tour,
- so why don't we go our own ways?
- What?
No, I don't want to miss
out on the history.
Whatever you want, sweetie.
Oh, tour nerd is back, baby.
You gonna stand in front and
ask all your annoying questions?
I will not be shamed
for my curiosity, thank you.
OK, OK, OK.
So we know what
Dylan is doing, and
we know that Cal will be doing
whatever Felicity is doing and...
And Em will follow Noah.
Oh, no, not true.
I am going to be
doing my job and
taking pictures of both
groups, thank you very much.
Going rogue, I like it.
William.
I'm team tour nerd all the way.
OK, Kellers, Salzburg on three.
1, 2, 3...
Salzburg!
I hate when we do that.
What do you say we split up?
I want a little alone time,
maybe some gluhwein and wander.
Who are we, Maria von Trapp?
Come on, Grandpa.
I came on this trip
to spend time with you.
Well, we have
spent time together,
just you'll see more
of the city this way.
Besides, I have to find
my white elephant gift.
If you're trying to set
me up with Cal, I told you,
it's not happening.
It's way too soon
for both of us.
We all have
heartbreak in our life.
It's what we do after that
sets our life's direction.
OK, you are waxing
philosophical.
Now, I will do my own thing.
The Christmas markets go
back to the late 15th century.
Thank you.
By the way, Trey left
an envelope for you
after the day he left.
Oh, that would be
the executed contracts
for the Silverton project.
So it's done?
Securing the land is.
I still have
to present to the board
my vision of what kind
of community it'll be.
Which you've done
a million times over.
Yeah.
What's wrong?
It's the million times part.
I want to do
something different.
I just don't know what that is.
You'll figure it out.
What makes you so sure?
Because when you set your mind
to something, Dylan Keller,
there is no stopping you.
You're the most determined
man I think I've ever met.
You're so confusing.
I know, and I don't mean to be.
Then stop being so vague
and just tell me what it is.
It's me, William.
Dylan, if I could speak to you
about what's going on right now,
I would.
I swear.
Is it your health?
Ah, no.
Your job?
No.
And before you
say it, it's not...
it's not that I don't love you.
But apparently
you don't trust me.
I'm not sure what's worse.
That one is nice.
How lucky are we, huh?
Oh.
Oh, no pictures, please.
I'm with my family.
But you're so cute.
I agree.
Good to see you
using the camera again.
Yeah, you don't think I'm
destined to process data?
I think you're destined
to work with that very
expensive necklace you have on.
I know that.
Well, you know,
it's not that simple.
Why not?
Well, because the cost of living
hasn't exactly been
kind to my generation.
And I'd like to pay my bills.
And you can't do
that as a photographer?
Look what happened when you
took those photos for Noah.
Are my financial advisor
and former CPA parents
actually advising me to go
down the path less practical?
Look, we want
our kids to be happy,
and you are always happiest
when you're catching
memories on film or digi-pixels
or whatever the technology is.
He's never gonna get it, is he?
No.
All right.
One more.
All right.
Uh-huh.
Nice, nice.
You guys make me happy.
You make us happy, Em.
Come on, Keller squeeze!
Come on.
Why don't we go find
some white elephants?
- OK.
- Yeah?
Come on.
OK.
Hi.
These are nice.
These are nice, nice color.
Hey.
Find anything?
You're not allowed to ask that.
Come on.
Secrecy is half the fun
of a white elephant exchange.
Fine.
So where's Grandpa Ron?
He ditched me.
What?
He said he was feeling
a little wanderlust.
This sure is the place for it.
Have you found your gift yet?
Wouldn't you like to know?
Are you American?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry?
You sound American.
Oh, yes, I am, I am American.
I'm Austrian, but I
studied English in California
when I was at university.
Oh.
I really miss it.
Yeah, well, you
know, the West Coast
is the best coast, as they say.
If you want to, I can show
you around some local treasures
later.
Perhaps, we could share some...
I found the zimtsterne.
The... zim...
The cookies I was
looking for, silly.
Cal just loves zimtsterne.
Excuse us.
I hope that was OK.
Yeah.
No, I love being rescued
from an adorable Austrian
who's totally flirting with me.
Especially, when it's
by a super cute American who
I'm not allowed to flirt with.
These zim cookies
are pretty good.
Zimtsterne.
Hmm?
It's a Christmas cookie.
Zim...
Zimtsterne
Sterne.
Zimtsterne.
You got it.
Sounds better when you say it.
None of that.
I don't know what you mean.
I'm sure you do.
What do you think
about this for Mom?
I think I'm still mad at you,
but I think Viva will love it.
I'd get the red one, though.
It'll look better on her.
Probably right.
Have you talked to your mom
about whatever's going on?
Oh, no, is it about her?
No, Mom is fine.
I'm actually gonna
call her tomorrow night
after the elephant exchange.
Do you want to join me?
That depends on if we've
cleared up whatever this is.
Understood.
But Dylan, I do
trust you, know that.
If it was up to me,
I would tell...
How is it not up to you?
Is it...
Oh, no.
You know I love a choir.
This is not over.
It's on pause.
OK.
Oh, nice shot.
Looks like now it's time for
you to take your shot at love.
Don't need color commentary
on my never-gonna-happen
dating life.
Come on, Keller.
I'm just trying to help you
get your head in the game.
Thanks, Coach Bolton.
Thanks, I take
that as a compliment.
Your mother would
have loved this.
Yeah.
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year
Good tidings we bring
To you and your kin
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Sorry.
I wasn't trying to spy.
No, it's fine.
But if you're still trying
to find out my secret gift,
you can stop now.
I'm not giving in.
No, no, I'll find out
tonight at the exchange.
Bet you won't
know which is mine.
Oh, a challenge.
All right, I'm into it.
So where's Grandpa Ron?
Still wanderlusting in Salzburg?
He's playing poker with
a group of his new friends
closer to his age.
Oh, so you've been ditched.
Again, yes, I have.
Seriously, though, I'm glad
he's putting himself out there.
I admire his resilience.
How so?
He lost my grandmother
a couple of years ago,
and he's been working
to recover ever since.
Like by taking this trip?
Yep.
He's been so excited about this.
It made me excited.
And has it helped you with
your romantic disappointment?
That's a pretty creative
euphemism for divorce.
It has a nice ring, doesn't it?
But, yes, it has.
Good.
Has it helped with yours?
Yeah, kind of.
The biggest disappointment
was not appreciating
my long-time friend, Lauren.
Did you two date?
Nope.
That was the worst part.
I think I always imagined
in the back of my mind
that we would end up
together, except I
never mentioned it to her.
Probably should have done that.
Probably should have.
But, you know, I
was newly divorced,
and I guess I just thought
I had a lot more time.
I'm sorry, Cal.
Thank you.
You don't have to be.
I think... I think
it's all for the best.
In what way?
I think in losing her, I learned
something that I couldn't
have learned any other way.
That's a very mature
way to look at it.
Well, even the coach
needs coaching sometimes.
I think Coach needs a cocktail.
Yes, excellent play.
You know, they'll have
a skate rental in Vienna.
You didn't have to lug
these all the way out here.
But these are good luck.
Oh?
I think I'm gonna need it.
You are my good luck charm.
Let's go have some fun.
Who's ready to find
the white elephant in the room?
For those of you not
familiar with the rules
of the white elephant
gift exchange,
you already picked a random
number in which order
you're gonna select.
You'll pick one of these
finely wrapped presents
here and open it
for the crowd to see.
Now, the following
players, they can
either take a new
present from the middle
or steal someone else's gift.
Then the person who loses their
gift can steal a different gift,
or open a new one from
the center, and so on.
Got this?
All right, perfect.
So who's our number one?
Who's our number one?
Me.
Number one.
Look at that.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
OK, I think it's time we had
a Keller family conversation.
Let's find somewhere
private, honey.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to leave
you guys to this.
No, I want you to come with us.
We'll talk about this later.
Go on.
OK.
You deserve an explanation.
And an apology.
For what?
For us not being completely
honest with you about why
we decided to call this trip.
What do you mean?
I was recently diagnosed
with Parkinson's disease.
Oh, my goodness.
With what?
There have been enough
clues over the past few months
that we decided
to get it checked out.
But now we know for sure,
which is good to have answers.
How far along?
It's stage 1.
Which is very mild.
But I have been slowing down,
which I think you've noticed.
Yeah, I sensed
something was off,
but I never could
have imagined this.
And that's why the forced
family Christmas in Austria.
Yeah, yeah, to experience
it fully with all
of you this time of year.
Oh, Dad.
I know that it's
a shock, but people
live a long time with this.
And very productive lives.
Just won't look like we
originally thought it would.
For example, we're
going to sell the house.
Because of the stairs.
Two floors
at the top of the hill,
not exactly easy for someone
living with this condition.
And I don't think I'm gonna
be able to ice skate in Vienna
like I thought I would.
But that's OK.
I will see the city
with my family,
which is what's most important.
I'm so sorry you guys have been
going through this by yourself.
Yeah.
Well, actually, Dylan...
It's not been
completely by ourselves.
You knew.
How long?
About a few weeks.
Your parents called me
'cause they know I've treated
many patients with
Parkinson's, even though Ben
has his own primary specialist.
Mom and dad said
they made you promise
not to tell me because they
wanted to go on this trip first.
So I hope they also mentioned
I suggested that they tell you.
They did.
But you still showed up.
I didn't know what
to do, sweetheart.
Ben spoke to me in confidence,
and those were his wishes.
No.
I shouldn't have put
you in this position
in the first place, which They
were very apologetic about,
for the record.
Will bring
us all from near and far.
My first instinct was
to tell you, obviously,
but so I don't know if this is
gonna make any sense to you,
but I felt like I was
being loyal to you
by being loyal to Ben.
And Dad didn't want me
to know because he was
afraid I would tell everyone.
Which, let's be honest,
I probably would have.
Wouldn't be this
time of year without you.
I am so sorry.
Babe, it's OK.
When we get home, we are going
to therapy to establish better
parameters for communication.
All right.
And I'm gonna take you
on a lovely spa day.
Spa weekend.
Deal.
Wouldn't be this
time of year without you
So I'm coming home to you
I'm coming home to you
We've come a long way, baby.
We've got a long
and beautiful road ahead of us.
I've got to go.
Huh?
I have to talk to Cal and Emory.
Is everything all right?
Yeah.
Are you sure?
Yes.
I love you.
I love you so much.
OK, I love you, too.
OK, I gotta go.
OK.
I'm gonna go to all
my dad's appointments.
It shouldn't totally
be up to my mom.
My cousin Alex is
a patient advocate
at a hospital in Seattle.
I'd be happy to put you in touch
with him, if you'd like,
get insight on how
to navigate the process.
I'd appreciate that, thank you.
Of course.
It's not the same, but my mom
got sick during my first year
of law school.
I put everything aside
to take care of her.
Happily, she's 15
years cancer free.
Wow.
But it's a journey
for the whole family.
I can imagine.
I'm happy to hear she's well.
I just feel like I
should have known.
Cal, you can only see what
people choose to show you.
Yeah, I'm beginning
to learn that.
Thank you.
Thank you for listening.
And thank you for asking.
Sorry to interrupt.
Hi.
Can I talk to you?
OK.
Like now?
Oh, yeah.
To be continued.
Sure.
Hey, Em.
Huh?
We're meeting in Cal's suite.
Let's go.
Uh.
What?
A single guy can't spruce
his room up a little?
This is a little
more than spruce.
Yeah.
What, did you buy
out the whole booth?
I saw them at the market, and it
put me in the Christmas spirit.
I don't know, kind
of seems like you
- were hoping for a visitor.
- What?
No.
Look, the guy gave me a great
deal, so I bought them all.
But we're not talking about me.
We're talking about you
upstairs with the piano man.
You're getting back
in the game, kid, huh?
I don't know, Cal.
I don't know what
anything means, not today.
Listen, Em, if you like him,
you gotta let him know, OK?
Don't do what I did
and wait till it's too late.
Can we stay on topic, please?
Sorry, you're right.
How is William?
Yeah, you guys good?
What?
We're fine, yeah.
This is about Mom and Dad.
Well, I live close by.
I'm gonna be there
for everything.
And I'm moving back to Portland.
You are?
That's great news.
Did you get a job?
Not yet, but I have a plan.
Yeah, you and I both.
You're moving to Portland?
Oh, man, talk about FOMO!
What?
No, I'm not moving home, ew.
But I do have a plan that
I think can help long term.
Didn't I tell you you'd
find your inspiration?
It's all coming together, man.
You got this.
Well, let's just hope
the board goes for it.
Dylan, look at me.
They will, OK?
Get ready.
I'm gonna patch you through.
And hey, don't forget
my Mozart chocolates.
OK.
And now, I've got Dylan all
the way from the Danube River.
Dylan, take it away.
Good evening, everybody.
Thank you so much
for staying up so
late to take this spontaneous
call, I really appreciate it.
But I have an idea.
So, guys, there will be
no official tour here in Vienna.
You each have a map, and I want
you to explore on your own.
Even the gentle walkers
will be able to see
the best parts of the city.
Vienna has one
of the most accessible
public transportation in the
world, so no worries about that.
I recommend visiting
Karlskirche.
It's a bit outside the city
center but definitely worth it.
Have fun.
Enjoy!
Ah.
They worry me
because I always feel
a cherub could cause trouble.
But also, you
know, like in Renaiss...
no, or maybe sort
of... maybe medieval.
The cherubs always have
the faces of old men.
You notice that?
Mm.
Hey, William.
- How are you?
- Hi.
Hi.
Dylan's gonna join us later
on at the Christmas market.
He just has some business
that he needs to attend to.
On Christmas Eve?
You know how he is.
Oh, we know.
Which is why we wanted
to apologize to you.
If we had thought that asking
you not to tell Dylan would
cause you two any problems...
We would never have put you...
Never.
In that position.
I know, I understand.
We both do.
This is a really big deal, and
it's gonna be something that we
all learn as we go along.
Even you?
Even me.
I've been on this
side of it before.
The family side?
Yes.
We love you, William.
Entschuldigung!
And how was my recommendation?
Oh, breathtaking.
Did you get some good shots?
I think so.
No, no, I know so.
You're gonna love 'em.
I have no doubt.
Well, where's
the rest of your crew?
They took the Strassenbahn
to the Rathaus.
Oh, we have to work
on the pronunciation on that.
Oh, yeah?
Well, we have to hurry
because I leave in two days.
Back to Colorado?
Yes, but just to get my stuff.
I'm actually moving
back to Portland.
I have no reason to be
in Denver anymore,
and I'd like to be close to my
dad as we figure all this out.
I understand.
And is there a full-time
photography career
in your future?
No, I'm still gonna look for
a remote job in the data field,
but I'm also going to be
serious about a part-time
photography career,
and that's only
until I can make it full time.
I am not going to let anything
stand in my way, even me.
Good.
I... I have a question.
Travel is your passion, right?
I have a travel company, so I
think it's safe to say yes.
OK.
Well, then I was wondering
how often you travel
to the Pacific Northwest...
Portland, Portland,
specifically.
Actually, I've never been.
Oh, interesting.
Well, in that case, um, I was
wondering next time you're there
if you would like to go out on...
on a date with me, to be clear.
Why wait for Portland?
You mean you want
to go on a date today?
We're staying
in the port until tomorrow
evening, so no worries
about leaving guests behind.
Besides, Vienna
is one of the most
romantic cities in the world.
There's no better way to
experience it than with someone
who excites you.
I'm exciting?
Very much so, yeah.
Oh, I like that.
Oh, how do you say it in German?
Oh.
Yeah, it sounds
better in English.
I agree.
OK, then.
And I have a feeling I will
be moving the Pacific Northwest
to the top of my wish list.
You will not regret it.
Shall we take
the U-Bahn to the Rathaus?
Is that how you say it?
That makes more sense.
So my favorite dish,
Kaiserschmarrn, and
a schokobaum.
Yeah.
Oh.
Sorry, I have
to check on some guests.
All right.
I'm in the game.
Yes, Keller.
There he is.
Hey, you get your business done?
I did.
Did they like the idea?
- They did.
- Who's they?
I thought we said
no more secrets.
Hey, lady, I had to deal
with yours for two weeks.
You can handle mine
for two seconds, OK?
Dylan James Keller.
My company bought
a piece of land
outside of Silverton, Oregon.
Why is that a secret?
Your company's
always buying land.
So impatient.
Always.
Have either of you
ever heard of a town
in Holland called Hogeweyk?
That's Harry Potter's
School, isn't it?
Solid dad joke, Dad.
Oh-ho.
Real question.
No, what is it?
It's a special village
designed to help people
dealing with Alzheimer's.
Everything in the community
is set up to make life as easy
as possible for the residents.
Dylan showed us
pictures of it last night.
It's really cool.
I want to do the same thing
but for people with Parkinson's.
Are your bosses OK with that?
Mom, I am the boss.
We've talked about this,
but, yes, I had to convince
the board, and they're all in.
We dive in in the new year.
Thank you.
So proud of you.
You know, I'm so proud of you.
Oh, come on, everybody.
Keller.
Come on.
Come on.
Keller squeeze.
Oh, no.
- We need Vienna on three.
- All right.
Count it out.
Eins, zwei, drei!
Yeah.
I still hate it.
Are we sure this is safe?
Yeah, I think so.
There's a lot of noises
happening, just a lot of creaks.
I don't like it.
It might just be
part of the music.
I think we should make
the one in our front yard look
like that, don't you?
Oh, no, wait.
Are we stuck?
I don't like this.
Dylan, just live in the moment.
It is what it is.
Look at how beautiful
it is out here.
It's meant to be.
You were wrong, you
know, about now not
being the right time
for us to get married.
I only said that because you
were about to be dealing
with a lot with your family.
You're gonna be spending
a lot of time with them, too,
as you should, by the way.
I know.
You're still wrong.
Now is the best time
for us to get married.
And it's the actual
anniversary of our meet cute.
We are cute, aren't we?
Yeah, we kind of are.
But you know what would
make us even cuter?
Hmm?
Is if you would do me
the honor of marrying me.
I love you so much.
If I've learned
anything this week,
it's that I can't
do life without you.
I don't want to.
You're my rock.
I know this isn't exactly
the ring I had planned for,
or actually, the proposal
that I had planned for, but...
is that...
No.
This is the ring that I had
made for you six months ago.
Dylan Keller, will you marry me?
Yes.
Yeah?
Of course!
Yeah?
Well, you have
to put your ring on.
You have to put your ring on.
Here.
Here, it's a tree.
Kiss me.
He said yes!
So did he!
Looks like
nobody else got the "no
romance on this trip" memo.
Well, who can
blame them, you know?
The beauty of Vienna,
especially, at Christmas time?
Romance seems to just
pop up out of nowhere.
I know that this is one Keller
family adventure that I'll never
forget for a couple reasons.
And how's your heart?
Remarkably good, yeah.
Look, I know that we both
agreed that the last thing
that either of us wanted on this
trip was something romantic.
And yet here we are,
under the heart tree.
And here we are.
Felicity, if there's anything
I've learned on this trip,
it's that I got to be
more in the moment
so that I don't miss
something special
when it's right in front of me.
You know I live in Seattle,
and you live in Portland.
Yeah.
Well, I already traveled
across the pond to meet you.
A trip to Seattle
doesn't seem so far.
Not far at all.
Hey, hey, hey, where's Dad?
Don't worry, Dad.
We got you.
How you feeling?
Good.
I'm OK.
Yeah, you got it.
Look at him go!
Is there anything this man cannot do?
Oh, danke.
Or danke.
Oh, I'm just gonna text this.
There we go.
OK.
Are you ready?
Only 50 years in the making.
Now, you are gonna
have some spaetzle.
Oh, what's spaetzle?
It's German mac and cheese.
So I've been watching the tapes.
And there's a kid, Jalen Cruz.
Fifth-ranked QB out of Dallas.
Oh, my gosh.
You gotta see this kid.
I mean, he's got
the pocket poise of Brady.
He's got the gun like Lamar.
And he's only a sophomore.
I mean, this is the perfect
fit for your offense.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I know that look.
I'm gonna do it, buddy.
I'm gonna tell Lauren
that I love her.
Are you sure it's not too late?
I have to try.
It's now or never.
At her bon voyage
party, with her boyfriend?
What choice do I have?
She's moving across
the country tomorrow, to Maine.
You could have told her sooner.
Yeah, maybe you forgot.
I was a little preoccupied with
a marriage I was trying to save.
No, I mean before that.
Everyone's known that
Lauren's had a crush on you
since college.
Yeah, but I didn't know.
Well, maybe it would have
saved you a divorce if you
would have figured that out.
Not helpful.
Look, I have to fix this ASAP.
And then what?
Tomorrow morning, you're leaving
for Europe on this family
togetherness thing.
Christmas cruise on the Danube.
What if she says
she loves you back?
What are you gonna do?
You're just gonna
turn and go to Europe?
- No, she can come with.
- What about her boyfriend?
Oh, he's not invited.
Oh.
It's romantic, right?
Unless she's actually
in love with the guy.
In that case, super
awkward, potentially creepy.
And you run the risk
of losing a lifelong friend.
But, I mean, you know
I'm rooting for you.
Thanks for the vote
of confidence, buddy.
Watch that tape.
This is the future
of our program.
Yeah.
Hey.
Christmas potluck
is about to start.
Marge made this thing
called jingle juice.
I've had one.
I have so very many questions.
I'm uninspired.
You're the top
developer in the industry.
And thus my lack of inspiration.
I can't go any higher if I
keep doing the same thing.
Maybe your trip
abroad will inspire you.
Please, my parents will have us
scarf deep in Christmas
bonding activities.
I won't have time
to be inspired.
You're a real tree
topper today, huh?
Sorry.
I think I'm just
nervous about tonight.
Oh, fret not.
Everything's set up by me.
You're welcome.
Yes, but William...
But William what?
What are you doing here?
Absolutely not.
You better finish that
sentence right now, mister.
Or do I have to stand
back here and eavesdrop?
But William will probably have
his surgery go over and be late.
Yes, probably.
Be late for what?
I can hear the telephone.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Be late for what?
Dinner tonight.
Mm-hmm.
You and me,
to celebrate the five-year
anniversary of our meet cute.
Our anniversary is
on Christmas Eve, darling.
It's not for another week.
When we will be
sailing down the Danube,
about to stop in Durken...
Deggendorf.
All German cities sound alike.
Sure.
Um, on Christmas Eve, we're
going to be in Austria.
Vienna, in fact, which
is the most special city
to spend Christmas.
And we will be surrounded by
my entire family with zero alone
time.
Hmm.
What?
Oh, no.
What's that look?
Are you having second thoughts
about going on this trip?
Look, I know I vent to you
about these "forced family fun"
gatherings, but they're not
as bad as I make them out to be,
mostly.
I mean, Cal is uber competitive,
and Emory can play the martyr,
and my parents can be
a tad manipulative.
It's not that.
- Then what is it?
- Nothing.
Um, you know what?
I have to go back
to the hospital
to... to see to a consult. I
just thought I'd bring you these
so you could be the cool boss.
Your famous Christmas cookies!
Oh, thank you.
You're the best.
I am.
Dinner tonight?
Mm-hmm.
8 o'clock.
Think he suspects anything?
Please.
William's like me
at one of my brother's
fantasy football drafts.
Which means?
He hasn't got a clue.
Whoa.
Straight up, down the barrel.
Here we go.
Oh, there she is.
Thank you so much
for doing this.
No, thank you.
Paid enough for this camera.
I should definitely be
putting it to more use.
If I book this
commercial, I promise
I will pay you for this,
because headshots are
just so expensive these days.
I thought this was
for your dating profile.
You know I'm double
dipping with these.
You have to.
Yeah.
Speaking of dating, do you
remember Theo from Zach's party?
Theo?
No?
Cute in a buttoned-up
way, you know, programmer.
I mean, a little annoying,
but not really anything for you
to worry about.
I mean, everybody's
annoying, really.
Totally normal.
Do you remember him?
Not ringing a bell.
Well, he remembers you
and asked for your number,
so can I give it to him?
Theo.
Yes, I remember him.
Hard pass.
What?
All he wanted to talk about
was the latest data entry tool.
But you're a data analyst.
Only on paper
and on my paycheck.
But in my heart, it's really
just me and old Betsy here.
Besides, someday I would like to
date someone who actually makes
me feel special, like
how I see with my parents
or with my brother and William.
They're so cute,
it's disgusting.
You kind of have to date
a guy for longer than two
weeks for that to happen.
In theory, yes.
Well, um, I may have already
given him your number in theory.
Is that him?
OK, because I told him
to wait until I talked to you.
Sorry I am so late, sweetheart.
My surgery ran over.
Oh, wow.
Uh-huh.
I don't really know what to say.
How about, yes?
Hmm?
William Patel, I've thought
about this moment since about
24 minutes into sharing
those eggnog
Martinis at that fateful
Christmas Eve party
my brother dragged me to.
And now here we are.
The timing is perfect.
We're in love.
We're both at the top
of our respective careers,
and we're both within 5 pounds
of the ideal wedding body.
Our honeymoon photos
are gonna look so great.
What?
Obviously not
the most important part,
but not an unimportant part.
Dylan?
Sorry, I went off script there.
I just wanted everything
to be perfect.
Um, uh, this...
this is all wrong.
Yeah.
Yeah?
What do you mean by yeah?
Combined with whatever face
this is that you're making.
You need to come clean.
You've been acting very
weird for the past few weeks.
Dylan, you've made
a lovely dinner.
Yeah, let's... let's go eat now.
Now's just not the right time.
Not the right time for what?
This discussion
or getting engaged?
Both.
I see.
Then I guess now is not
the right time for you to go
- on a cruise with my family.
- No, no, Dylan.
Come on.
We've been planning
this for months.
Your mom and dad, they're
gonna be expecting this.
I understand that,
but I know you, William.
I know when you're
keeping something from me.
And until you're ready
to tell me what that is,
we need some distance
from each other.
Sorry.
Distance?
What do you mean by distance?
Like the Atlantic
ocean, for now.
Oh come on.
No, Dylan, now's not the time to
be making these rash decisions.
I'm not being rash!
OK, that was rash.
This isn't a breakup.
I'm setting a boundary.
When you are ready to tell
me about whatever this is,
we can go back to normal.
But until then, we need space.
You don't understand.
It's not that simple for me.
It is for me.
I have an early flight
to catch in the morning.
Mm-hmm.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I can't believe they
sent you an email.
Mass email.
Entire department.
Poof!
Gone.
Replaced by robot overlords.
Oh, no.
What are you gonna do?
Well, I'll start by scrolling
all of the various job sites,
apply to every single one
of them, even the ones
I am not fully
qualified for, and then
anxiously refresh all
the pages every 17
minutes just to make sure I
didn't miss any single listings.
Oh, boy.
Then I will spam every data
analyst recruiter's inbox
with my resume, which will
be pointless because nobody
hires over the holidays.
- Are you good?
- Me?
Oh, no.
I'm great.
I'm great, because also,
in about six hours,
I will scramble to pack
my suitcases before I set off
on a multi-stop economy
flight on Air Cordinia, which
as of six hours
ago, I did not know
existed, to go spend seven
days along the Danube River
with my parents
and two older brothers.
Yeah, I'm not seeing
the problem here.
Not to mention that my brothers
haven't checked in on me in I
don't even know how long.
Have you checked in with them?
This is my pity party, Nic.
I don't need
a rationale right now.
You're complaining
about a trip to Europe
to someone who's never been.
Read the room.
- You're right.
- Right.
You're right.
I shouldn't complain.
It's a middle seat
the whole way.
Still don't feel bad for you.
It is just absolutely
the worst timing.
At least you'll have
your family there to support you
through all this.
Oh, no, there is a 0%
chance I am telling them.
You don't understand.
My brothers are, like, these
perfect human specimens.
Cal is this chiseled-jawed
former college
football player who is now a
big-time college football coach.
And Dylan has
eyebrows for days and
is this super successful
home builder who's
dating a literal neurosurgeon.
I can't go on this trip
single and unemployed,
or I will officially be
the failure of a sister who
cannot get her life together.
You know what, though?
It's fine.
It's fine.
I am just going to smile and
take photos and eat every pastry
that enters my eyeline.
I don't like this one.
And there's my kid brother,
always arriving in style.
Well, one of us had
to take after our mother.
Too bad it wasn't her daughter.
Let me help you with your bag.
OK.
Let me help you with your hair.
What is this?
Give me a break.
I've been traveling
for 27 hours.
From Denver?
Well, my flight had four
stops, thank you very much.
- Was one of them Australia?
- No.
It looks like your hairdo's
from down under, mate.
So the brotherly barrage begins.
We gotta get this out.
Oh.
Look, a little cutie.
Look, a little cutie.
OK, that's... that's enough!
Where's William?
I was hoping he could shield
me from some of the teasing.
Yeah, did he get
cold feet or something?
Oh.
There they all are.
Mom and Dad!
Keller family squeeze.
Oh.
After five long years, we
can resume the adventure!
Simmer down, Dad.
This is basically a floating
retirement community.
How crazy can it get?
Yeah, nothing's crazier than
doing a triple black diamond
on your first ski trip.
Hey, those trails
were not clearly marked,
but the helicopter ride
to the hospital, not bad.
There'll be no
accidents this trip.
This is about our family
bonding and having
a great family Christmas.
Or I'll send you to your cabin
without any dinner.
Oh, I don't sound like that.
That was pretty
accurate, actually.
Where's William?
He's gonna join us, right?
I don't know yet.
Oh, well, you
know neurosurgeons.
They do important work.
Let's get you guys checked
in to the fun boat.
All right, let's go!
Hey, the Runias did this
exact cruise last year,
and they raved about it.
And we know how
busy you are, so we
are so grateful that you could
you all make this a priority.
And I cannot wait to hear
everything about you three.
This is your cruise
director extraordinaire.
He'll get you settled in.
We will be in the star lounge.
Oh, we have star
status with Polara.
- Look at you.
- Fancy.
Of course, you do.
Well, great pleasure to finally
meet the full Keller family.
Anne and Ben have been
telling me about you
- since they boarded the ship.
- Oh.
My name is Noah, and it
is my great pleasure
to have you all aboard.
Your name is Noah,
and you work on a boat?
Yes.
And the guests usually
come in twos as well.
Well, we're all single here.
But you don't have to rub it in.
Oh, no, I...
I must apologize.
I did not mean to offend you.
Oh, don't mind my brothers.
They... they thrive
on embarrassment.
I see.
Well, just get
settled in and meet
us in the grand horizon lounge.
Champagne kickoff is
gonna be in half an hour.
So here are your keys.
Let's go.
Thank you.
Would you like some
help to your room?
Bitte.
And here's your cabin.
Ah, thank you so much.
I know my brothers could have
been a little more helpful,
but what are you gonna do?
FYI, the upper deck is
great for your photography.
How do you know
I do photography?
Could be the very fancy
camera draped around your neck.
Right.
I wear it so much, I
sometimes forget it is there.
So you are a professional?
No.
I mean, I did that
for a little bit,
but I prefer to regularly pay
my bills, so I got a safe job.
But this week I am
on full family photo duty.
Gosh, I wish I could
hire you to help me.
The photographer for my new
marketing campaign
dropped out last minute.
So now it's all up
to me and my phone.
Oh.
Wait, do you speak German?
No, more like trying
to survive German.
God, it is really hard.
I'm picking up a few words
and phrases here and there.
Wunderbar.
Wonderful.
Great.
Well, enjoy your stay and look
forward to having you aboard.
Hmm.
OK.
Last one to the lounge
has to chug his champagne.
This is a cruise
ship, not a frat house.
Oh... oh.
Resist the urge to sleep.
You got to power
through the jet lag.
You want me to stay
hydrated, too, coach?
And hit the showers.
Gladly.
Here you go, Grandpa.
I packed an extra one.
Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
I'll come and get you
in 10 for the meet and greet.
I'll be the envy of all the men.
Hmm.
Good afternoon, guests, and
welcome to our Polara
Christmas adventure.
As most of you already
know, my name is Noah.
And I just quickly want
to recap the itinerary.
So we're gonna stay here
in Regensburg tonight
and head to the markets
tomorrow.
They don't open until noon, so
we have a fun little competition
organized for you.
All right, let's go.
It's a team gingerbread
contest with a European twist.
Well, I'm not a fan
of long speeches,
so I'm just gonna say prost.
Prost!
Hello, neighbor.
Oh, hi.
Ron Peyton.
Cal Keller.
And this is my lovely
granddaughter, Felicity.
Hi.
Nice to meet you.
We're both from Seattle.
Oregon.
So, fellow Pacific
Northwesterner.
Are you here on your own?
Currently, yes.
I'm waiting for my siblings
and my parents to join me.
They are chronically
late for meal time.
You seem to have
another two places.
- Can we join you?
- Grandpa.
What?
I don't see any other two-tops.
We won't be any bother.
No.
Help yourself.
Great.
I'm gonna hit
the washroom quick.
Uh, Felicity, why don't
you keep Cal company
until his family arrives?
Great idea.
Please.
I'm sensing this is a pattern.
Oh.
My grandfather is one... one
of my favorite people ever.
But even he'll admit,
he can be pushy.
And since my divorce
last year, he's
made it his mission to put
me in the path of any and
every potentially single man.
Uh, like putting you at a
table with a complete stranger.
Precisely, not that you
don't seem like a nice person.
But a cruise with
Grandpa maybe should
just be a cruise with Grandpa.
Not a dating reality show.
Exactly.
Well, if it makes
you feel any better,
I know how painful
a divorce can be.
Plus, I just got my heart
broken by the one that got away.
So the last thing I'm looking
for on this family trip
is romance.
Wow.
And I thought
my situation was hard.
Hmm.
Sorry about that.
Oh, thank you.
I'll get through it as long
as I get some food in me.
Where is my family?
Sorry to do this, but I just
saw a small table open up.
I think I'm gonna
snag it before Grandpa
comes back with champagne and
chocolate-covered strawberries.
Sounds good.
See you around.
You know, in general,
or at the elimination ceremony.
Good to meet you, Cal.
Yeah, you too.
Honey, are you almost ready?
We better get going before
this thing escalates.
Just tying the ol' shoes.
Do you think this
was a good idea?
The kids haven't seen
each other in ages.
Well, more the reason
for a family adventure.
Our most important one yet.
It'll be fine.
Oh, no.
We gotta go now.
Let's go now?
Oh, Dylan.
Mm-hmm.
This is the gingerbread
contest like you've never seen.
We are not just
building houses here.
We are in Europe.
And Europe is known for its
incredible architecture.
So put your heads
together, and make
one of the many
iconic structures
you can find on this
beautiful continent.
You have a lot of ingredients
in front of you,
as long as you
don't eat them all.
And if you need anything
else, just ask me or my staff.
You got one hour.
Achtung, fertig, los!
Got it.
Team Keller, we got this.
All right.
Oh, Dylan, I want you
to take point because you're
- the home builder.
- If you insist.
Hold on.
I'm the oldest.
All I do all day is
literally build homes.
Not with gingerbread, you don't.
Oh, and you do?
As a matter of fact,
our football team
did a gingerbread build at the
children's hospital last year,
and we made a killer North
Pole, thank you very much.
Oh, just one?
Yeah, my company did
a gingerbread house
competition every year.
I was there... count them...
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 years.
Was?
Was, as in, I'm here now.
- Oh.
- Maybe Em should be in charge.
No, your mother's in charge.
I think Dylan should lead the
concept, given his experience
as a home developer.
Thank you.
And Cal's steady hands can
hold the walls because he's
great in a competition.
And, Emory, you can share your
gingerbread insight as we go.
- Mix water in the icing.
- Noted.
Now, we need to come up
with a famous building.
Easy.
Wembley Stadium, London.
I don't think that's what they
meant when they said iconic.
Oh, Roman Colosseum.
Now, that is iconic.
Now we're talking, sis.
This is a Christmas competition.
Maybe we choose a building where
a little less murder occurred.
- Mm-hmm.
- Like where?
Well, since we're going
to Vienna, what if we went
with the famous opera house?
Snooze.
Those are decorations.
I'm hungry.
You just had breakfast.
I'm having about double.
Oh, my gosh.
We're doomed.
Guys, we're running out of time.
Almost done?
You can't rush
the planning phase.
How's the mixing?
The glue is the most
important part.
All right, everyone.
30 minutes left to go.
Let's do this.
Careful.
The frosting hasn't
hardened yet.
No, Cal, Cal, don't... oh!
Sorry.
We're gonna need to pivot.
We should have built a stadium.
Everybody, please
listen up for a second.
We made it to our first
Christmas market
here in Regensburg, Bavaria.
Those of you who
are, say, gentle
walkers, you can stay
near me if you would like.
The rest of you are free
to wander the market,
which fills the whole park.
But remember, the boat will
leave tonight by 7:00 PM,
so make sure you're back from
the markets by then, all right?
The dock has a very
strict schedule,
and we will leave without you.
All right, have fun.
Enjoy yourself.
Feel free to split
up and explore.
But I have found a super
fun activity for all of us.
So I want you there.
OK?
Why am I afraid
to ask what it is?
Bavarian dancers!
Oh.
Like Dylan's Heritage Day
dance back in second grade.
The Schuhplattler.
Yes.
I had a love-hate
relationship with that outfit.
Oh, it's still in the closet.
OK, let's go.
Come on.
Yeah, cool.
Let's go this way.
Let's get some food.
Oh, did you ever
get to Regensburg
when you were at the Olympics?
No, there wasn't time.
But I'm glad I'm
here now with you.
Oh.
You have
reached Dr. William Patel.
I am not available
at the moment, but...
I am worried about Dylan.
Something is not right.
I feel it.
He'll tell us when he wants to.
He always does.
Ha-ha!
You're really crushing
on the Prussian, eh?
- Hey.
- Oh, watch the gluhwein.
What's gluhwein?
Oh, hot, spicy mulled wine.
Think of it as my apology
for crushing
your gingerbread dreams.
Oh, apology accepted.
- Cheers?
- Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Where are Mom and Dad?
They're hanging with
the gentle walkers group.
Since when are
they gentle walkers?
Dad's an Olympic speed skater.
Yeah, before we were born.
Life's full
of unforeseen changes.
Hey.
Oh, just let him have it.
He's wound tighter
than a watch spring.
Hmm.
Oh, a watch spring is something
that used to be in watches
which you wore on your wrist.
You're done.
I'm getting another gluhwein.
OK.
Do not touch that pretzel.
Wouldn't dream of it.
Guten tag, l'chaim.
Epic gingerbread victory.
My brother's envy
knows no bounds.
He seems to have recovered.
Well, don't let
the dancing fool you.
He's plotting his revenge.
I'll keep alert.
Yeah.
In the meantime, we're
heading back to the boat
with the early returners.
Grandpa's done a lot
of walking today.
All right.
I'll see you back
on the boat, then.
Mom wants us to stick around
and watch the dancers.
More family bonding.
Are you gonna be dancing, too?
Well, you never know
what will happen when
the accordion takes a hold.
Now that I'd like to see.
Oh.
Wait.
That was not meant to be flirty.
Disregard.
Oh, I heard nothing.
Nothing except the sweet
sound of compressed air
mingled with keyboard.
Jet lag is catching up with me.
I think I'm gonna join
the group returning to the boat.
Uh, Ben, come with?
What about the finale?
This was your idea.
Well, you should stay.
And keep track of Dylan.
Looks like he's
a few gluhwein deep.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
OK.
Weird.
What is going on with him?
No clue.
Do you think it's his typical
over stressing about work?
No, this feels personal.
William.
Is anyone feeling badly
that I don't have a partner?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Thank you, but don't worry.
I already found someone
who suits me quite nice.
Oh, whoa.
It's happening, it's happening.
But first, you need
some new clothes.
Fire up the camera now.
Yeah, Dylan!
That's what I'm talking about.
Woo!
This is the best
day of my whole life.
Oh, that took
longer than expected.
- What time is it?
- Thank you.
I'm starving.
Oh, my phone must have
switched to European.
What's 18:35 in American?
That's the time?
We gotta go, guys.
We gotta get to the boat now!
Oh, no.
Dylan!
Oh, wait.
Come on, guys.
Almost there.
Wait.
I'm coming.
Hike up those lederhosen!
You're kidding me.
Are you sure that
this is the right dock?
I dropped a pin.
You can drop a pin, but you
can't set your phone to a time
you can actually read?
You have a phone, too.
I was getting the.
Schmockelbocken.
Not what it's called.
Surprised Mom and Dad didn't
try to call and warn us.
They went back to the boat.
They're probably asleep.
Ah, sleep sounds
lovely right now.
- I'm gonna call.
- I'll call them.
You.
Where are my regular clothes?
Oh.
The good news is passengers
missing the boat is not
as uncommon as you would think.
You will simply have
to meet us at our next dock,
which is Deggendorf.
And the bad news?
We are
only there until 6:00 PM,
and you will have to secure
your own transportation.
Oh, and you have to find
a place to sleep tonight.
OK, we'll get a hotel room.
Well, it's four
days before Christmas.
Your chances of finding a hotel
room are very, very slim.
I'll contact a few colleagues
and see what I can do.
In the meantime, please
send us your exact location.
All right?
OK, I'm gonna hang up now
so we can start looking.
Thank you.
I should never have suggested
you go to the hotel to rest.
But you were right.
I needed to.
This is not my idea
of family bonding.
How's it going?
Find anything?
Nothing.
Who steals another
man's clothes?
Not you.
Emory is searching
for an available hotel room.
Oh.
Noah was right,
I checked online.
He called all his contacts.
Nothing is there.
Everything is booked,
even the hostels.
We are so not
staying in a hostel.
That's right Captain Gluhwein.
Because we are not
staying anywhere at all.
What the Hilda?
American Dylan.
Oh, we missed our boat.
And somebody stole my clothes.
Don't worry, my liebchen.
You can keep the lederhosen.
And they fit great.
But what we're more worried
about is catching the riverboat
our parents are on.
Is there a night
train to Deggendorf?
The last one would have
left half an hour ago.
I would take you
in the van, but I'm headed
in a different direction.
Is there, like an all-night
restaurant or something?
We could park at one and order
some strudel or cocoa or...
This is not Berlin.
Nothing here stays
open all night.
How about an open
park bench for sleeping?
My cousin Gunther converted
his barn into a hotel.
It's just outside the city.
I can take you up
the mountain myself.
Will you excuse us
for just one minute?
OK, we're all out of options.
I say we do it.
An off-the-grid mountain hotel?
Uh-uh.
I've seen this movie
before, and it usually
airs around Halloween,
not Christmas.
Red flags abound.
OK, if we get there and
something seems off, we bail.
Bail where, into a snow cave?
I'm the oldest.
I'll protect you.
Ew.
We'll protect you.
I may not have been
a collegiate athlete,
but you should see what I
can do on a Pilates reformer.
It's not a competition, Dylan.
Said Cal Keller never.
No one is protecting
anyone from anything.
We are going to stay
right here in Regensburg
and take our chances
with the elements.
Fine, we go with Fraulein Hilda.
Let's hope she also
believes that the hills are
alive and not the alternative.
Yeah.
OK, Hilda on three.
No.
No.
What?
Hi.
When she said it
was a converted barn,
I was expecting more hay.
Why do I feel like
I'm on the inside
of a future True Crime podcas?
I'm into it.
Success!
There is room
at the inn, but only one.
We'll take it.
Cousin Gunther is busy tomorrow,
so he said he will
have Hansi take
- you to the dock in Deggendorf.
- Hansi?
Yes.
That's very kind
of you, Hilda, thank you.
It's my pleasure.
And if the room is too
small for the three of you,
you are more than welcome to
travel on with me to Heidelberg.
Oh, tempting, but I really
should stay with my family.
Of course, my sweet Dylan.
But we will always
have Regensburg.
My little liebchen.
Dibs.
What?
No, I have a sciatica!
That's not a real thing.
Yes, it is, ask my doctor!
Stop!
What would dad say about
Keller chivalry if he knew
his sons let their baby sister
sleep on the cold, hard floor
at Christmas?
Fine.
There you go.
Oh, a pillow.
Thank you so much.
Do we really have
to sleep with the lights on?
Have you seen
the creepy elf above me?
The trauma is real.
Guys, why do you think
Mom and Dad really asked
us to come along on this trip?
What do you mean?
We've done a million
of these trips,
filled up a million scrapbooks
with forced family fun photos.
Yeah, but this one
was so last minute.
And didn't you feel
like they were super
insistent that we all come?
Like, we haven't done one
in almost five years, you know.
William has never
even been on one.
Yeah.
Did he not want to come because
he was worried about spending
too much time with all of us?
I don't want to talk about it.
OK.
I think we're here
because we haven't done one
of these in a really long time.
Dad's retired now and always
wanted to come back to Austria
to relive his glory days.
Yeah, and Mom loves this region.
It's like the most
Christmassiest place
I've ever Christmased.
I hope you're right,
but I don't know.
I'm just scared they're
holding back somehow.
Sure you're not just projecting?
What's that supposed to mean?
I don't know.
I learned that it was
something I was doing a lot
when things got bad with Angie.
I started worrying about
everybody else's problems
instead of realizing that I
was the one who was struggling.
Oh.
Hey, Em, will you do me a favor?
Yeah.
Will you check and make sure
that it's really Cal over there?
Seriously, who are you?
It's still me.
Just have grown
a little, I guess.
Look, just know that
if either of you want to talk
to me about anything, I'm...
I'm here for you.
I may be cramped in the corner
of a 19th-century German
guest house, but I'm here.
Love you guys.
I love you, too.
Love you, too.
Dylan!
This is Hansi?
Ja.
Cool.
Hilda said we can
leave it at the docks.
Her cousin Kurt will
pick it up later.
- When did she say that?
- She texted me.
When did she get your number?
We had a connection, OK?
It's a Schuhplattler thing.
You wouldn't understand.
- Dankeschon, mein Freund.
- Shotgun.
- Driver.
- Oh.
They are on their way.
Your narration
of their every step
is better than an audiobook.
Oops.
Oh, I got it.
Do you mind if a couple
of stragglers join you?
Please do.
Thank you.
Anne has been entertaining
me with our children's
little detour.
How far off are they?
Cruising through the mountains
on their way to Deggendorf.
Moving slowly,
but they're moving.
Cal is in charge.
He is great at logistics.
He takes after his dad.
Natural born leader.
Are we seriously lost?
Do you know how many of these
road names end in "strabe"?
That B makes an S sound.
It's strasse.
And strasse is
the German word for street.
Even I know that.
OK, well, what
strasse should we be on?
And you made a left at.
And the difference is?
The little dots!
The umlauts are important.
OK, well, then we'll
have to double back.
Good thing we don't have
to be there until 6:00 PM.
Oh, good thing we don't
have to be there till 6:00 PM.
Why are you so touchy when you
don't have your morning protein?
Very important
for my metabolism!
Oh, not even close.
Watch this.
Oh, on the edge.
No.
Not bad.
No, no.
I'm sorry to bother you,
but there has been a change
of plans about Deggendorf.
A change?
The port has a conflict.
They double booked us with
another cruise line that
had engine trouble,
so we are going
to have to depart here early.
Wait, can they do that?
In emergencies, yes.
Well, how early?
2:00 PM.
Wait, no.
Cal and Emory and Dylan
are still on their way.
I know, I'm sorry,
but we have our orders.
It'll be OK.
Yeah.
I'm lowering my Yelp
review of Gunther's Hotel.
Because Hansi has
a broken gas gauge?
And my pillow smelled like hay.
Oh, mine, too.
I thought it was me.
I've been wearing the same
clothes for 24 hours.
We all stink, sweetie.
I don't think this
costume's been washed, ever.
Can you wash leather?
You know, this is
definitely less than ideal,
but I'm really glad
you guys are with me.
I forgot how much fun you are.
It's almost worth the torture.
Oh.
Keep pushing!
Hey.
So new news.
Really?
Yep.
I was gonna tell
you guys last night,
but I didn't have
the mental energy.
Oh, I always thought
she was in love with you.
Yeah, well, she got over it.
Are you gonna be
able to get over it?
Eventually.
It's my fault. I always
knew she kind of liked me,
but after the divorce, I
was afraid to put myself
out there for fear of failure.
And then when I was
ready, it was too late.
And as long as we're sharing...
Oh, no.
What?
Guys, we gotta go now.
Oh.
What are you doing?
Driving the rest of the way.
You guys always say
I drive too fast.
Here's where it comes in handy.
Do you even know how
to drive this thing?
I delivered for Scoot
all through college.
I didn't know that.
A girl's gotta eat.
OK, hang on.
Where are they?
They should be right here.
We're here.
We're here.
We made it!
There they are.
We made it.
We made it.
Don't leave.
We're here, we're here.
We're here, we're here.
Stop the boat!
Stop the boat!
Let's go, let's go.
Tell them to stop it!
Hey.
We made it.
We made it.
We made it!
Oh, we did it.
We did it.
Room for one more?
Oh.
Oh.
Where are you going, darling?
And why are you
dressed like an elf?
I'll have you know this is
traditional Bavarian mountain
attire.
And Hilda said I pulled
it off quite nicely.
I'm sorry, Hilda?
Who is Hilda?
Somebody who was there
for me when I needed them.
Why are you here?
Because we agreed to be
on this trip together.
And then we changed our mind.
And you didn't think to call
or text that you were coming?
I thought it would
be better in person.
Are you ready to tell
me what's going on?
OK.
Dylan.
Dylan.
- Where... where are you going?
- Elsewhere.
Ow!
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You know, I thought
you'd be glad to see me.
I am glad to see you, truly.
But I set a boundary,
and I am sticking to it.
If you're not ready to tell
me why you're acting so weird,
then I still need my space.
Do you need my space?
I promise not to snore.
You'll fail.
Miserably.
Wow, your room is really tiny.
Mom texted there's a big hot
cocoa bar in the horizon lounge.
I was gonna hit
up Bobsled Bingo,
but I think I need
to shower first.
Yes, you do.
Get showered, text me later.
Yeah.
Em, oh, oh.
I got it, I got it.
Hi.
Well, well, the great
adventurer has returned.
Oh, guess you heard.
Oh, we've all heard.
The Keller kids are now
infamous up and down the Danube.
Really?
From the German
Alps to the Black Sea.
Fascinating.
Well, we're usually good
for at least one near-disaster
per family adventure.
So tell me, how is one
of your family fun adventures
different than
a regular vacation?
Well, basically, we go
someplace where it's just us,
or a group setting.
How did you know?
A group setting like this,
where there's everybody,
and we don't get
to have fun or relax.
We just have to do themed
events so we can reconnect.
It's annoying at first
because we tend
to get on each other's nerves.
But eventually?
Not so bad.
As an only child,
I'm officially jealous.
Well, you're more than
welcome to join us the next time
we miss the boat.
I don't know
if I'm that jealous.
Cheers.
And now another marshmallow.
Smile.
Christmas came early.
Huh?
I just got your email
with a link to the photos.
And I did not expect this.
Consider it an apology for all
the trouble we caused yesterday.
Apologies accepted.
This is great work.
I have to pay you for this.
That is not how presents work.
OK, at least let me
pay you what I would have
paid the other photographer.
Well, that's really
not why I sent them.
But the truth is, I
could kind of use it.
Oh.
Yeah.
I haven't exactly shared
this with my family,
but I got let go from my job
just before I came here.
Oh, I'm sorry.
But after consideration,
I will take you up on your
demand for unsolicited payment.
Exactly.
Then if you continue to take
more photos like this,
I will pay you
for those, as well.
I'll even send you a contract
tonight to keep everything
official, Ms. Emory Keller.
You got yourself a
photographer, Mr. Noah Schafer.
Great.
So let's see you at the cocoa?
Great, that's a good idea.
Dylan.
Hi, William.
Hello.
Have you talked
to my parents yet?
Been catching up with them.
Did you tell them about us?
What would I tell them?
I honestly wish you
would tell me what this is.
Ah, dinner time.
Let's not be late.
We want to celebrate
William's arrival.
You guys go ahead.
We need a Keller kids
family conference.
OK.
We'll join you in a minute.
Don't be too long.
Well, what has he told you?
Nothing.
And that's so unlike William.
His consistent honesty
is one of the reasons
I fell in love with
him in the first place,
that and his chiseled jawline
and his brain, his accent, his...
Hey, you want me to talk to him?
No, please don't do the big
brother talk, but thank you,
though, I appreciate it.
I'm just... I'm afraid he's
fallen out of love with me.
Look, I'm certainly not
an expert in long-term
relationships, but I don't think
someone flies halfway around
the world to be with you...
And their entire family.
If they've fallen out of love.
I hope you're right.
Thank you.
At least one of us
is doing OK, huh?
I got laid off by mass email.
And I'm gonna stop talking now.
Please don't tell Mom and Dad.
I just really don't
want to worry them.
Oh, we won't, Em.
And I'm sorry that happened.
Yeah, you don't deserve that.
Thank you.
On the plus side, Noah
hired me to take photos
for the rest of the trip,
so at least I'm good until I
figure out my next steps.
All right.
New crush coming through.
He's not a crush.
Please, the whole boat
can see it, and half of them
- are legally blind.
- Oh.
Can we please not freeze
out all the warm fuzzies
we got going on right now?
Sorry.
So what are you gonna
do with this not
crush who's totally a crush?
Nothing, because we're
working together
and that would be wrong.
Oh, kids, dinner now.
Really?
Oh, my gosh, come on.
He's always like this.
Welcome to Salzburg,
the birthplace of Mozart.
I have earpieces
for anyone who's
interested in some
guided history,
but feel free to wander off and
explore the city on your own.
Some of you should be reminded
to be back at the buses
at 8:00 PM, the latest.
You know who you are.
Also, each of you gets 20
euros for the white elephant
gift exchange tomorrow night.
No need to thank me
because you already
paid for this in advance.
Here we go.
Make it fun.
Here.
All right,
Kellers, what's the plan?
OK, I don't feel like
keeping up with the tour,
- so why don't we go our own ways?
- What?
No, I don't want to miss
out on the history.
Whatever you want, sweetie.
Oh, tour nerd is back, baby.
You gonna stand in front and
ask all your annoying questions?
I will not be shamed
for my curiosity, thank you.
OK, OK, OK.
So we know what
Dylan is doing, and
we know that Cal will be doing
whatever Felicity is doing and...
And Em will follow Noah.
Oh, no, not true.
I am going to be
doing my job and
taking pictures of both
groups, thank you very much.
Going rogue, I like it.
William.
I'm team tour nerd all the way.
OK, Kellers, Salzburg on three.
1, 2, 3...
Salzburg!
I hate when we do that.
What do you say we split up?
I want a little alone time,
maybe some gluhwein and wander.
Who are we, Maria von Trapp?
Come on, Grandpa.
I came on this trip
to spend time with you.
Well, we have
spent time together,
just you'll see more
of the city this way.
Besides, I have to find
my white elephant gift.
If you're trying to set
me up with Cal, I told you,
it's not happening.
It's way too soon
for both of us.
We all have
heartbreak in our life.
It's what we do after that
sets our life's direction.
OK, you are waxing
philosophical.
Now, I will do my own thing.
The Christmas markets go
back to the late 15th century.
Thank you.
By the way, Trey left
an envelope for you
after the day he left.
Oh, that would be
the executed contracts
for the Silverton project.
So it's done?
Securing the land is.
I still have
to present to the board
my vision of what kind
of community it'll be.
Which you've done
a million times over.
Yeah.
What's wrong?
It's the million times part.
I want to do
something different.
I just don't know what that is.
You'll figure it out.
What makes you so sure?
Because when you set your mind
to something, Dylan Keller,
there is no stopping you.
You're the most determined
man I think I've ever met.
You're so confusing.
I know, and I don't mean to be.
Then stop being so vague
and just tell me what it is.
It's me, William.
Dylan, if I could speak to you
about what's going on right now,
I would.
I swear.
Is it your health?
Ah, no.
Your job?
No.
And before you
say it, it's not...
it's not that I don't love you.
But apparently
you don't trust me.
I'm not sure what's worse.
That one is nice.
How lucky are we, huh?
Oh.
Oh, no pictures, please.
I'm with my family.
But you're so cute.
I agree.
Good to see you
using the camera again.
Yeah, you don't think I'm
destined to process data?
I think you're destined
to work with that very
expensive necklace you have on.
I know that.
Well, you know,
it's not that simple.
Why not?
Well, because the cost of living
hasn't exactly been
kind to my generation.
And I'd like to pay my bills.
And you can't do
that as a photographer?
Look what happened when you
took those photos for Noah.
Are my financial advisor
and former CPA parents
actually advising me to go
down the path less practical?
Look, we want
our kids to be happy,
and you are always happiest
when you're catching
memories on film or digi-pixels
or whatever the technology is.
He's never gonna get it, is he?
No.
All right.
One more.
All right.
Uh-huh.
Nice, nice.
You guys make me happy.
You make us happy, Em.
Come on, Keller squeeze!
Come on.
Why don't we go find
some white elephants?
- OK.
- Yeah?
Come on.
OK.
Hi.
These are nice.
These are nice, nice color.
Hey.
Find anything?
You're not allowed to ask that.
Come on.
Secrecy is half the fun
of a white elephant exchange.
Fine.
So where's Grandpa Ron?
He ditched me.
What?
He said he was feeling
a little wanderlust.
This sure is the place for it.
Have you found your gift yet?
Wouldn't you like to know?
Are you American?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry?
You sound American.
Oh, yes, I am, I am American.
I'm Austrian, but I
studied English in California
when I was at university.
Oh.
I really miss it.
Yeah, well, you
know, the West Coast
is the best coast, as they say.
If you want to, I can show
you around some local treasures
later.
Perhaps, we could share some...
I found the zimtsterne.
The... zim...
The cookies I was
looking for, silly.
Cal just loves zimtsterne.
Excuse us.
I hope that was OK.
Yeah.
No, I love being rescued
from an adorable Austrian
who's totally flirting with me.
Especially, when it's
by a super cute American who
I'm not allowed to flirt with.
These zim cookies
are pretty good.
Zimtsterne.
Hmm?
It's a Christmas cookie.
Zim...
Zimtsterne
Sterne.
Zimtsterne.
You got it.
Sounds better when you say it.
None of that.
I don't know what you mean.
I'm sure you do.
What do you think
about this for Mom?
I think I'm still mad at you,
but I think Viva will love it.
I'd get the red one, though.
It'll look better on her.
Probably right.
Have you talked to your mom
about whatever's going on?
Oh, no, is it about her?
No, Mom is fine.
I'm actually gonna
call her tomorrow night
after the elephant exchange.
Do you want to join me?
That depends on if we've
cleared up whatever this is.
Understood.
But Dylan, I do
trust you, know that.
If it was up to me,
I would tell...
How is it not up to you?
Is it...
Oh, no.
You know I love a choir.
This is not over.
It's on pause.
OK.
Oh, nice shot.
Looks like now it's time for
you to take your shot at love.
Don't need color commentary
on my never-gonna-happen
dating life.
Come on, Keller.
I'm just trying to help you
get your head in the game.
Thanks, Coach Bolton.
Thanks, I take
that as a compliment.
Your mother would
have loved this.
Yeah.
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year
Good tidings we bring
To you and your kin
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Sorry.
I wasn't trying to spy.
No, it's fine.
But if you're still trying
to find out my secret gift,
you can stop now.
I'm not giving in.
No, no, I'll find out
tonight at the exchange.
Bet you won't
know which is mine.
Oh, a challenge.
All right, I'm into it.
So where's Grandpa Ron?
Still wanderlusting in Salzburg?
He's playing poker with
a group of his new friends
closer to his age.
Oh, so you've been ditched.
Again, yes, I have.
Seriously, though, I'm glad
he's putting himself out there.
I admire his resilience.
How so?
He lost my grandmother
a couple of years ago,
and he's been working
to recover ever since.
Like by taking this trip?
Yep.
He's been so excited about this.
It made me excited.
And has it helped you with
your romantic disappointment?
That's a pretty creative
euphemism for divorce.
It has a nice ring, doesn't it?
But, yes, it has.
Good.
Has it helped with yours?
Yeah, kind of.
The biggest disappointment
was not appreciating
my long-time friend, Lauren.
Did you two date?
Nope.
That was the worst part.
I think I always imagined
in the back of my mind
that we would end up
together, except I
never mentioned it to her.
Probably should have done that.
Probably should have.
But, you know, I
was newly divorced,
and I guess I just thought
I had a lot more time.
I'm sorry, Cal.
Thank you.
You don't have to be.
I think... I think
it's all for the best.
In what way?
I think in losing her, I learned
something that I couldn't
have learned any other way.
That's a very mature
way to look at it.
Well, even the coach
needs coaching sometimes.
I think Coach needs a cocktail.
Yes, excellent play.
You know, they'll have
a skate rental in Vienna.
You didn't have to lug
these all the way out here.
But these are good luck.
Oh?
I think I'm gonna need it.
You are my good luck charm.
Let's go have some fun.
Who's ready to find
the white elephant in the room?
For those of you not
familiar with the rules
of the white elephant
gift exchange,
you already picked a random
number in which order
you're gonna select.
You'll pick one of these
finely wrapped presents
here and open it
for the crowd to see.
Now, the following
players, they can
either take a new
present from the middle
or steal someone else's gift.
Then the person who loses their
gift can steal a different gift,
or open a new one from
the center, and so on.
Got this?
All right, perfect.
So who's our number one?
Who's our number one?
Me.
Number one.
Look at that.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
OK, I think it's time we had
a Keller family conversation.
Let's find somewhere
private, honey.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to leave
you guys to this.
No, I want you to come with us.
We'll talk about this later.
Go on.
OK.
You deserve an explanation.
And an apology.
For what?
For us not being completely
honest with you about why
we decided to call this trip.
What do you mean?
I was recently diagnosed
with Parkinson's disease.
Oh, my goodness.
With what?
There have been enough
clues over the past few months
that we decided
to get it checked out.
But now we know for sure,
which is good to have answers.
How far along?
It's stage 1.
Which is very mild.
But I have been slowing down,
which I think you've noticed.
Yeah, I sensed
something was off,
but I never could
have imagined this.
And that's why the forced
family Christmas in Austria.
Yeah, yeah, to experience
it fully with all
of you this time of year.
Oh, Dad.
I know that it's
a shock, but people
live a long time with this.
And very productive lives.
Just won't look like we
originally thought it would.
For example, we're
going to sell the house.
Because of the stairs.
Two floors
at the top of the hill,
not exactly easy for someone
living with this condition.
And I don't think I'm gonna
be able to ice skate in Vienna
like I thought I would.
But that's OK.
I will see the city
with my family,
which is what's most important.
I'm so sorry you guys have been
going through this by yourself.
Yeah.
Well, actually, Dylan...
It's not been
completely by ourselves.
You knew.
How long?
About a few weeks.
Your parents called me
'cause they know I've treated
many patients with
Parkinson's, even though Ben
has his own primary specialist.
Mom and dad said
they made you promise
not to tell me because they
wanted to go on this trip first.
So I hope they also mentioned
I suggested that they tell you.
They did.
But you still showed up.
I didn't know what
to do, sweetheart.
Ben spoke to me in confidence,
and those were his wishes.
No.
I shouldn't have put
you in this position
in the first place, which They
were very apologetic about,
for the record.
Will bring
us all from near and far.
My first instinct was
to tell you, obviously,
but so I don't know if this is
gonna make any sense to you,
but I felt like I was
being loyal to you
by being loyal to Ben.
And Dad didn't want me
to know because he was
afraid I would tell everyone.
Which, let's be honest,
I probably would have.
Wouldn't be this
time of year without you.
I am so sorry.
Babe, it's OK.
When we get home, we are going
to therapy to establish better
parameters for communication.
All right.
And I'm gonna take you
on a lovely spa day.
Spa weekend.
Deal.
Wouldn't be this
time of year without you
So I'm coming home to you
I'm coming home to you
We've come a long way, baby.
We've got a long
and beautiful road ahead of us.
I've got to go.
Huh?
I have to talk to Cal and Emory.
Is everything all right?
Yeah.
Are you sure?
Yes.
I love you.
I love you so much.
OK, I love you, too.
OK, I gotta go.
OK.
I'm gonna go to all
my dad's appointments.
It shouldn't totally
be up to my mom.
My cousin Alex is
a patient advocate
at a hospital in Seattle.
I'd be happy to put you in touch
with him, if you'd like,
get insight on how
to navigate the process.
I'd appreciate that, thank you.
Of course.
It's not the same, but my mom
got sick during my first year
of law school.
I put everything aside
to take care of her.
Happily, she's 15
years cancer free.
Wow.
But it's a journey
for the whole family.
I can imagine.
I'm happy to hear she's well.
I just feel like I
should have known.
Cal, you can only see what
people choose to show you.
Yeah, I'm beginning
to learn that.
Thank you.
Thank you for listening.
And thank you for asking.
Sorry to interrupt.
Hi.
Can I talk to you?
OK.
Like now?
Oh, yeah.
To be continued.
Sure.
Hey, Em.
Huh?
We're meeting in Cal's suite.
Let's go.
Uh.
What?
A single guy can't spruce
his room up a little?
This is a little
more than spruce.
Yeah.
What, did you buy
out the whole booth?
I saw them at the market, and it
put me in the Christmas spirit.
I don't know, kind
of seems like you
- were hoping for a visitor.
- What?
No.
Look, the guy gave me a great
deal, so I bought them all.
But we're not talking about me.
We're talking about you
upstairs with the piano man.
You're getting back
in the game, kid, huh?
I don't know, Cal.
I don't know what
anything means, not today.
Listen, Em, if you like him,
you gotta let him know, OK?
Don't do what I did
and wait till it's too late.
Can we stay on topic, please?
Sorry, you're right.
How is William?
Yeah, you guys good?
What?
We're fine, yeah.
This is about Mom and Dad.
Well, I live close by.
I'm gonna be there
for everything.
And I'm moving back to Portland.
You are?
That's great news.
Did you get a job?
Not yet, but I have a plan.
Yeah, you and I both.
You're moving to Portland?
Oh, man, talk about FOMO!
What?
No, I'm not moving home, ew.
But I do have a plan that
I think can help long term.
Didn't I tell you you'd
find your inspiration?
It's all coming together, man.
You got this.
Well, let's just hope
the board goes for it.
Dylan, look at me.
They will, OK?
Get ready.
I'm gonna patch you through.
And hey, don't forget
my Mozart chocolates.
OK.
And now, I've got Dylan all
the way from the Danube River.
Dylan, take it away.
Good evening, everybody.
Thank you so much
for staying up so
late to take this spontaneous
call, I really appreciate it.
But I have an idea.
So, guys, there will be
no official tour here in Vienna.
You each have a map, and I want
you to explore on your own.
Even the gentle walkers
will be able to see
the best parts of the city.
Vienna has one
of the most accessible
public transportation in the
world, so no worries about that.
I recommend visiting
Karlskirche.
It's a bit outside the city
center but definitely worth it.
Have fun.
Enjoy!
Ah.
They worry me
because I always feel
a cherub could cause trouble.
But also, you
know, like in Renaiss...
no, or maybe sort
of... maybe medieval.
The cherubs always have
the faces of old men.
You notice that?
Mm.
Hey, William.
- How are you?
- Hi.
Hi.
Dylan's gonna join us later
on at the Christmas market.
He just has some business
that he needs to attend to.
On Christmas Eve?
You know how he is.
Oh, we know.
Which is why we wanted
to apologize to you.
If we had thought that asking
you not to tell Dylan would
cause you two any problems...
We would never have put you...
Never.
In that position.
I know, I understand.
We both do.
This is a really big deal, and
it's gonna be something that we
all learn as we go along.
Even you?
Even me.
I've been on this
side of it before.
The family side?
Yes.
We love you, William.
Entschuldigung!
And how was my recommendation?
Oh, breathtaking.
Did you get some good shots?
I think so.
No, no, I know so.
You're gonna love 'em.
I have no doubt.
Well, where's
the rest of your crew?
They took the Strassenbahn
to the Rathaus.
Oh, we have to work
on the pronunciation on that.
Oh, yeah?
Well, we have to hurry
because I leave in two days.
Back to Colorado?
Yes, but just to get my stuff.
I'm actually moving
back to Portland.
I have no reason to be
in Denver anymore,
and I'd like to be close to my
dad as we figure all this out.
I understand.
And is there a full-time
photography career
in your future?
No, I'm still gonna look for
a remote job in the data field,
but I'm also going to be
serious about a part-time
photography career,
and that's only
until I can make it full time.
I am not going to let anything
stand in my way, even me.
Good.
I... I have a question.
Travel is your passion, right?
I have a travel company, so I
think it's safe to say yes.
OK.
Well, then I was wondering
how often you travel
to the Pacific Northwest...
Portland, Portland,
specifically.
Actually, I've never been.
Oh, interesting.
Well, in that case, um, I was
wondering next time you're there
if you would like to go out on...
on a date with me, to be clear.
Why wait for Portland?
You mean you want
to go on a date today?
We're staying
in the port until tomorrow
evening, so no worries
about leaving guests behind.
Besides, Vienna
is one of the most
romantic cities in the world.
There's no better way to
experience it than with someone
who excites you.
I'm exciting?
Very much so, yeah.
Oh, I like that.
Oh, how do you say it in German?
Oh.
Yeah, it sounds
better in English.
I agree.
OK, then.
And I have a feeling I will
be moving the Pacific Northwest
to the top of my wish list.
You will not regret it.
Shall we take
the U-Bahn to the Rathaus?
Is that how you say it?
That makes more sense.
So my favorite dish,
Kaiserschmarrn, and
a schokobaum.
Yeah.
Oh.
Sorry, I have
to check on some guests.
All right.
I'm in the game.
Yes, Keller.
There he is.
Hey, you get your business done?
I did.
Did they like the idea?
- They did.
- Who's they?
I thought we said
no more secrets.
Hey, lady, I had to deal
with yours for two weeks.
You can handle mine
for two seconds, OK?
Dylan James Keller.
My company bought
a piece of land
outside of Silverton, Oregon.
Why is that a secret?
Your company's
always buying land.
So impatient.
Always.
Have either of you
ever heard of a town
in Holland called Hogeweyk?
That's Harry Potter's
School, isn't it?
Solid dad joke, Dad.
Oh-ho.
Real question.
No, what is it?
It's a special village
designed to help people
dealing with Alzheimer's.
Everything in the community
is set up to make life as easy
as possible for the residents.
Dylan showed us
pictures of it last night.
It's really cool.
I want to do the same thing
but for people with Parkinson's.
Are your bosses OK with that?
Mom, I am the boss.
We've talked about this,
but, yes, I had to convince
the board, and they're all in.
We dive in in the new year.
Thank you.
So proud of you.
You know, I'm so proud of you.
Oh, come on, everybody.
Keller.
Come on.
Come on.
Keller squeeze.
Oh, no.
- We need Vienna on three.
- All right.
Count it out.
Eins, zwei, drei!
Yeah.
I still hate it.
Are we sure this is safe?
Yeah, I think so.
There's a lot of noises
happening, just a lot of creaks.
I don't like it.
It might just be
part of the music.
I think we should make
the one in our front yard look
like that, don't you?
Oh, no, wait.
Are we stuck?
I don't like this.
Dylan, just live in the moment.
It is what it is.
Look at how beautiful
it is out here.
It's meant to be.
You were wrong, you
know, about now not
being the right time
for us to get married.
I only said that because you
were about to be dealing
with a lot with your family.
You're gonna be spending
a lot of time with them, too,
as you should, by the way.
I know.
You're still wrong.
Now is the best time
for us to get married.
And it's the actual
anniversary of our meet cute.
We are cute, aren't we?
Yeah, we kind of are.
But you know what would
make us even cuter?
Hmm?
Is if you would do me
the honor of marrying me.
I love you so much.
If I've learned
anything this week,
it's that I can't
do life without you.
I don't want to.
You're my rock.
I know this isn't exactly
the ring I had planned for,
or actually, the proposal
that I had planned for, but...
is that...
No.
This is the ring that I had
made for you six months ago.
Dylan Keller, will you marry me?
Yes.
Yeah?
Of course!
Yeah?
Well, you have
to put your ring on.
You have to put your ring on.
Here.
Here, it's a tree.
Kiss me.
He said yes!
So did he!
Looks like
nobody else got the "no
romance on this trip" memo.
Well, who can
blame them, you know?
The beauty of Vienna,
especially, at Christmas time?
Romance seems to just
pop up out of nowhere.
I know that this is one Keller
family adventure that I'll never
forget for a couple reasons.
And how's your heart?
Remarkably good, yeah.
Look, I know that we both
agreed that the last thing
that either of us wanted on this
trip was something romantic.
And yet here we are,
under the heart tree.
And here we are.
Felicity, if there's anything
I've learned on this trip,
it's that I got to be
more in the moment
so that I don't miss
something special
when it's right in front of me.
You know I live in Seattle,
and you live in Portland.
Yeah.
Well, I already traveled
across the pond to meet you.
A trip to Seattle
doesn't seem so far.
Not far at all.
Hey, hey, hey, where's Dad?
Don't worry, Dad.
We got you.
How you feeling?
Good.
I'm OK.
Yeah, you got it.
Look at him go!
Is there anything this man cannot do?