A Merry Little Ex-Mas (2025) Movie Script

Have I got a story to tell you.
It's a Christmas story.
I'm Kate.
That's me about 20 years ago.
Right out of college, I got a job
at this amazing architecture firm
in Boston.
I was gonna change the world.
And then my world changed
when I danced at a party
with a med student named Everett.
We were obsessed with each other.
That "first love,
walking into walls" feeling
where you can't even think.
We've all been there.
So when Everett went home
to set up his practice,
I, of course, went with him
to his magical hometown
called Winterlight.
Seriously, it's like he grew up
in a Yankee Candle.
It was just too hard to leave.
We got married, had kids,
and I discovered that small-town doctors
are actually married to their jobs.
It was like being a single mom
with a wedding ring.
And my career as an architect?
Plot twist. I became a handywoman instead.
The kids grew up.
Everett and I grew apart.
We weren't having fun anymore.
And that whole
"I'm gonna change the world" thing?
Actually, let me just show you the story.
Okay, so you are sure
you want to get divorced?
- Yep.
- Positive.
Mm-hmm.
Well, as the mayor of Winterlight
and your friend,
I think you're making a mistake.
Christina, divorce does not mean
that we are not still a team.
Well, legally it kinda does.
We're not even calling it divorce.
We're consciously uncoupling.
Yeah, we've been separated
for months, and we're much happier.
It's a healthier way
to think about ending a marriage.
Can we not advertise this? You know
how people are in this town. Thank you.
Gingerbread muffins?
You can't get divorced
on an empty stomach.
- Oh, nice.
- Thanks, Buck.
Oh, Buck, they're not calling it that.
They're calling it conscious uncoupling.
Wow.
What's so funny?
I thought you guys were getting divorced.
No, no. Nope.
They are consciously uncoupling.
Oh, no kiddin'?
Guys, divorce doesn't have to be terrible.
Yeah, it does.
Look, I know
this is our first Christmas apart.
- But we're still gonna spend it together.
- Yeah.
- Right? As a family. Normal.
- Yeah.
We're gonna do all of the traditional
Holden family activities.
- Right.
- We're gonna have Christmas dinner.
- All the meals together at the Mothership.
- Just gotta work at it.
- Easy.
- Yeah, practicing total honesty.
And, uh, starting
all of our sentences with
"I feel."
Oh God!
No.
- Come on, hon.
- Yeah.
You can order.
- Hey!
- Here.
Sorry I'm late.
I got stuck in an open house.
Hi.
Well, an open tiny house,
so not for everyone.
- Mm.
- You know, specifically anyone over 4'11".
- Oh.
- So how did the meeting go with Christina?
It was kind of a public event.
But what do you expect
getting divorced in a coffee shop?
So did you tell Everett
that you're moving?
Um
Not exactly.
I thought you two had
a total-honesty policy?
We do, just not about this.
I'm not telling the kids either.
This is our last Christmas in this house,
and I want it to be happy.
I can't believe
you're selling The Mothership.
April, I've got a job waiting for me.
I need you to get on board.
Girl, you are asking me to be selfless,
which is a big ask.
Girl, I have been stuck
in this town for half my life.
Doing what exactly?
Raising kids?
Uh, breaking the glass ceiling
in the elite handyman world?
Yeah, and building worm farms
in exchange for baked goods.
Gabe is graduating high school this year,
and Sienna's already in college.
This is my chance to get out.
Santa's little elves are here!
- You invited Everett's dads?
- Duh. We have joint custody.
Hi!
- There's our Katie.
- Katie-patatey.
- Hello.
- Ooh!
- April, do your worst.
- You got it.
Hey, I didn't know what you were cooking,
so I brought a sweet-potato casserole.
That's so kind of you.
Now we have two.
- Oh.
- Never try to out-Kate Kate at Christmas.
Or Easter.
- Hey, Grandpas.
- Hey.
Oh!
Good to see you.
- You get taller every time we see you.
- Yes.
Really? Yeah, I think you guys
get shorter every time I see you.
- This is why no one likes teenagers.
- Uh-huh.
Oh.
It's them.
They'll be here in a few minutes.
- They?
- Yeah, oh, just you wait.
- Oh! Ooh.
- Okay.
- Whoo!
- Need any help?
- Oh, baby!
- Hi.
- Oh!
- Hi. Okay.
- Mwah! Mwah!
- All right. All right.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi, Nigel.
- Hi!
Nice Oh, yeah.
- Hi.
- Oh.
Okay. Okay.
- Okay, Nigel, you know my mom, Kate.
- Yes.
These are my grandpas,
Mike and Daryl.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- My godmother, April.
- Hi.
And then this is my, um, okay, wow
not-so-little brother,
Gabriel.
What? Uh, everybody,
this is this is Nigel.
- Hello!
- Hi, Nigel.
Lovely to meet you all.
I just wish I'd brought something.
Oh, wait, I did.
I brought a wand!
Accio Christmas magic!
You you actually carry a wand?
- I do.
- He does.
I used it to cast a spell
over this beautiful lady.
Aww.
Wingardium leviosa!
- Wingardium levi...
- Okay. Okay.
Uh, let's let's go inside.
- Yes. Okay.
- That was good. Okay.
Um, oh, do you need help?
- He's fine. Leave him.
- I'm good.
- Wow.
- Where's Katie?
Mm.
I, uh, I just have to say
that I cannot get over
the striking resemblance between you two.
Okay. Everybody always says that,
and I just don't see it.
We're nothing alike.
So, Nigel, do you go to Oxford too,
or somewhere else?
Oh, no. Nigel doesn't go to college.
- Mom.
- Well, he doesn't.
I was just looking at
the, uh, crest on your jacket.
What does that say? "Grl-fin-duff"?
"Gryffindor."
Yeah. Nigel works full-time
as a Harry Potter tour guide.
- That's a job?
- Apparently.
- He's really good.
- Yep. I'm the best at it.
I know Parseltongue.
Sienna tells me that you have
some unusual holiday traditions.
Yeah, uh, which I'm boycotting this year.
It's your thing, Mom.
You go have fun with it. Okay?
Enjoy.
So what are these traditions?
We make handmade gifts and exchange them.
Yeah. Handmade gifts come from the heart.
Unlike real gifts, which are from Amazon.
And Kate doesn't buy ornaments.
It's all popcorn and pine cones.
We make ornaments
from recycled and found objects.
- What about the birds?
- Oh, I love the birds.
We make origami birds,
and then we write something
on each of them we're grateful for.
That all sounds brilliant.
That's
that's one way to put it.
Embarrassing is another.
- What about the book? That's not weird.
- True.
On Christmas Eve,
we bring out our family scrapbook,
and Mom and Dad read it to us.
- Aww.
- It's very cute.
Speaking of Everett, sends his regards.
He'd be here,
but he had a last-minute patient.
Sounds like Betty. Always working.
Uh uh who is Betty?
Oh, my parents call each other
Betty and Al. Don't ask.
I'm looking forward
to meeting him.
- Oh, and his new girlfriend.
- What?
- What?
- What?
Ow! Why did you just kick me?
Don't announce that.
- She's looking at me.
- Don't make eye contact. Look away.
Kate, um, I've been reading
about this, uh, geothermal energy.
- I'd love to get your thoughts.
- No, you wouldn't. Nigel?
Nigel? Nigel, I can still see you.
Nigel?
Nigel. Nigel. Don't, Nigel.
Spill.
Dad didn't tell you?
Dad didn't tell me what exactly?
That he's dating someone.
No, I just saw your dad.
If he was dating someone,
he would've told me.
Okay
So Everett's dating someone. So?
You knew about this?
We found out accidentally.
We were sworn to secrecy,
which you know I hate, right?
And you both knew?
I mean, I kinda figured it out.
You know? There were a lot of clues.
The grandpas told me.
We did not!
I I might've said something.
Also accidentally.
Yeah, no. Uh
You guys enjoy lunch.
I just need to do something for a minute.
- Excuse me.
- Great.
We are gonna talk about this
when I get back.
- Want to know more?
- Yeah, more. About everything.
And she's leaving.
I should've told her.
You're dating someone?
We're barely separated.
Uh, Al, Al, I I'm with a patient,
and nine months isn't barely.
Your dads knew. The kids knew.
Even Sienna's weird boyfriend knew.
I knew.
Uh, getting dressed.
I didn't want you
to find out this way.
I just couldn't find
the right time to tell you.
I feel
like when you're not honest with me,
I can't trust you.
Well, I feel like
I have been honest with you
about everything except for this.
I just couldn't get the words out, Al, and
I'm sorry.
It's fine.
Let's move past it.
Tell me about her.
Her name is Tess.
And, um, had some business around here,
stopped in to do some shopping,
slipped on some ice, hurt her ankle,
and, well, she needed a doctor,
so I'm the doctor.
So you violated some kind of ethical laws
and started dating her?
- That's not even a gray area.
- Oh, it's not a gray area?
- No.
- Oh.
- No.
- Okay.
Uh
Well, thanks for being honest.
I can't wait to meet her.
Great.
You know, I had doubts when Buck told me
about you two consciously uncoupling...
- August, do you want another one? Huh?
- I'm good.
Thanks, Doc. Bye, Kate.
You should throw some tinsel up there.
You know? Like, liven it up a bit.
Listen, my heater's busted again.
I swear, can't get a heater
or a husband to work.
Well, um, wanna install a heat pump?
- What is that?
- A compressor.
- It uses thermodynamics to...
- Uh-oh, it's a Kate Big Word Alert.
I have stopped listening.
Do you wanna come inside and have tea
and I'll explain a thermodynamic?
Tea, I understand.
Not that herbal crap.
So, what's she like?
Does every single person
in this town know?
I'm in a book club.
All we do is gossip and drink.
We haven't read a book in a decade.
I haven't met her.
You haven't stalked her on socials?
What kind of an ex are you?
- I don't wanna stalk her.
- Yeah, we all say that, sweetheart.
We never mean it. What's her name?
Tess Wiley.
This is how I found Herb's new girlfriend.
Although I barely recognized her
in person.
She was quite ugly without the filters.
Ooh. Bingo.
- That's who Everett's dating?
- Mm.
Are you sure?
- It's her name.
- Okay. What's she doing?
She is sculpting butter.
It's an accepted art
in some parts of the world.
The really, really stupid parts.
Well,
good for her.
That's all you're gonna say? Come on.
The woman is sadder than day-old soup.
I'm happy for Everett.
Sure you are.
Feels good when they trade down, don't it?
Okay, supplies for making decorations.
I made two lists.
And if you're very fast,
I'll buy everyone a candy cane.
I love Christmas!
Great. Now I have to go find him.
Uh, those are free.
- Okay. Go, Gabe.
- Mm-hmm.
Uh, K Kate.
- Hi.
- Hi. Uh
What what are you doing here?
What do you mean what am I doing here?
I come here four times a day.
Do you have any of those
cute little recycled glass bottles?
I wanna make my perfume this Christmas.
Oh, and I need nails too.
Oh, jeez. Uh, um
We don't have any of that.
I'll have to order that.
Why don't you come back tomorrow?
- You don't have nails?
- No.
- They're on aisle one.
- No. No, they're not.
- I I I moved them.
- You're being weird.
They're not there. I moved them.
- You moved them where?
- We had a big run on tiny houses.
I don't think
you're remembering correctly.
- They're always on aisle one.
- Kate, stop.
Bet the nails are right here.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Who is that?
Kate.
Kate Kate! Kate! Hi!
- I'm not ready for this.
- Hi, Kate. I'm Tess. Oh!
Everett has told me so much about you.
Hello.
Do you happen to sculpt butter?
Uh, sculpt?
Um No.
Well, not in this outfit, anyway.
I'm aware I'm a little overdressed
in a hardware store.
In my defense, I was on an office Zoom,
then this guy had to drag me out.
- Well, I mean
- Go Christmas decoration shopping.
Uh, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go kill
my elderly neighbor Doris.
Oh, you're here too. Oh
Oh, what's up, Dad?
- Who's this?
- Uh
- Tess, this is Gabe.
- Gabriel.
- It's my son.
- The brave firefighter.
- Yeah.
- Okay, Gabe. Let's go.
- But
- Wait, Mom, have you seen N
- Ah, there she is.
- Dad!
- Oh my.
- Hi.
God, it's good to see you.
Oh my God. I missed you.
You must be Sienna.
You're studying economics
and management at Oxford, right? Oh!
- You must be brilliant. Hello.
- "Brilliant." Wow.
- You are?
- This is Tess.
And she doesn't sculpt butter,
in case you were wondering.
- I've got supplies!
- Oh, there's Nigel.
Oh, there he is.
It's nice to finally meet you. Oh, yeah.
- Oh. Okay.
- Father of the maiden.
Oh.
- Oh.
- Oh. Okay.
It's okay.
- It's okay, babe.
- It's okay.
- Pleasure to meet
- Nice to meet you.
You must be, uh, Nigel,
the, um, the Harry Potter expert. Right?
The, uh, the
"You're a wizard, Harry."
Who are you?
Who who are you?
- This is Tess.
- Tess.
Guilty.
[Kate screams[
Oh.
"Good King Wenceslas
for Brass Quartet" playing]
Oh, uh I was
I was just looking up a recipe.
Yeah, right.
Did you finish your college essay?
Um no.
No?
- Why are you so eager to get rid of me?
- I'm not.
I just want you to go to college.
Yeah, 'cause you think college is,
like, the magic ticket outta here, right?
What's so bad about this town?
I don't get it.
- I mean, what if I like it here?
- We're not gonna debate this.
- Okay.
- I just need you to do your essay, okay?
Good morning.
Hey. Gabe, you ready?
Sure. Um, I'll be in the car.
Here, take one of these, baby.
Mm!
Look at you.
Can you please talk to our son
about his college essay
and his scholarship applications?
You know he wants to be a firefighter,
save people's lives.
Can you remind me why we are against that?
Do you really wanna get into it with me
this morning?
- Definitely don't.
- It's not a great idea.
I I I agree with you.
You're worrying me.
I feel like
you're stress baking right now.
Have we recovered from the incident?
I don't think I will ever recover.
Well, I feel like maybe
we should all have dinner tonight.
- With Tess?
- Yes, with Tess.
Where would you suggest I put her?
I don't know. Wherever you got her from.
Um
Okay, well, uh, that yeah.
I feel like that's a good idea.
We were very awkward in front of the kids,
and we should normalize it.
Great. I feel like 7:30, my place.
I feel like that works.
Yeah. 7:30, your house.
Cool. I feel like I'm gonna have
a couple of your muffins.
Okay, I feel like
you really like my muffins.
We're just gonna have
this one dinner, okay?
And then we're gonna start
our usual traditions.
I just wanna talk to you guys.
You know, this new phase
of your parents' relationship
might feel a little strange, right?
- It's not.
- Yeah, well
Seeing your dad with other people
might be hard.
I I see him with other people,
like, all the time though.
- Me too.
- What? No.
- I mean with someone other than me.
- Oh.
Your dad and I haven't changed at all.
We're the same people.
We believe in the same things.
We just believe in them
from different households.
- You gotta be kidding me.
- Wow.
Mm. That's good.
So, what do you guys think of the house?
I've always wanted to go nuts
at Christmas.
Congratulations.
I can hear the polar ice caps melting.
This is so
"Yum, scrum, stick it in my tum."
I exist on takeout. I love it.
I can't cook.
This is yummy.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
Wow, you, um,
you really love cucumbers.
Oh, no, it's Betty. He hates them.
Sorry, just out of curiosity,
why do you call each other Betty and Al?
I'll go. Well, she was the first
environmentalist that I've ever met,
and I just kept calling her Al
because of Al Gore.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
And there's that Paul Simon song,
you know.
You can call me Betty
And Betty, when you call me
Call me Al
Hey. You have a nice voice.
Anyway, we got carried away,
and, um, it stuck.
- It's stupid.
- No! I think it's really sweet.
I once had a boyfriend
I used to call "The Missile," you know.
But that is just because
he, uh, used to work
in the, um, the Air Force.
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah, sure.
Anyway, I have to say,
I I think you're both amazing.
I have a strict no-contact policy
with any of my exes.
Truly, it's just ghost,
unfollow, delete, repeat.
- Just gone, you know?
- That's awesome. Good to know. Yeah.
Are you trying to get rid of me?
- No.
- No?
- No.
- You want me to leave?
No. I'm happy you're here.
- Um, how's that ankle?
- Oh, my ankle's fine.
Yeah, it's completely healed
since before Thanksgiving. Yeah.
- You've been dating since Thanksgiving?
- Kind of.
Not dating. Just talking.
- Yeah, but a lot.
- A lot.
Like, a lot, a lot.
Like, talking hours and hours every day,
and so, you know,
when Everett first invited me here,
I thought it was a little bit weird,
but, um, I don't know.
I just knew I needed to make it happen.
Yes, and she has been running her empire
from my kitchen table ever since.
Empire?
Oh, well, it's, uh, a global nonprofit.
I help women start their own businesses.
Just trying to,
uh, make a difference.
Oh, wow. That's so cool.
How did you get into that?
Oh God. It's a long story,
but I think the best advice is
just find something you love
and really stay focused.
Just eyes on the prize.
See all distractions as a derailment.
It's all in my, um TED Talk.
- There it is.
- Wow.
It's true. I mean, the other day,
I was dreaming
about unclogging this drain,
and I wanted to quit,
but I just kept going,
and you know what? I do think
that I made a huge difference
in that shower's life.
I remember now. Everett said
that you are a, um a handywoman.
Right? Or handy person? Sorry.
What do you call yourself, Kate?
Uh, mostly embarrassed, Tess.
- Hey, stop. No, no.
- No.
Al is literally the glue
that holds Winterlight together.
For sure.
I mean, I don't know
what this town would be without her.
Sorry, but the way
you say "this town" is just so charming.
It makes me feel like
I'm in one of those American movies.
You know, big-city girl comes
to a charming wintry town, falls in love.
A bit like The Holiday, you know?
Although, except in in that movie,
the ex-wife was, uh, dead.
Uh, but but you are not dead,
and thank God
because that would be bloody awful,
and I would hate that.
And and and I, uh
Yeah, I think I should
just probably stop speaking now.
- That's okay. It's okay.
- Sorry!
- So you live in New York?
- I have a penthouse in New York.
And a lovely flat over in London
whenever I have to zip across the pond,
which, by the way, you can always borrow.
Yeah, it has an amazing location.
It's, like, two blocks
from Leadenhall Market,
where, of course, you know,
that's where they filmed
- Diagon Alley.
- Yes.
- What?
- I knew you'd like that.
- I mean, what? Did you get to go on set?
- I did. Several times, actually, yeah.
The producers are friends from school,
so I'm very lucky.
Wow.
Five points for Hufflepuff.
- Yeah. Thank you very much, wizard.
- Oh!
Spoiler, Tess knows everybody,
and she's done everything.
Well, except spend Christmas
with a handsome doctor
and his fabulous kids.
And that is when they're not with you,
of course, as they should be.
Yeah. Actually, um, we're gonna be doing
a lot of special, some say unusual,
holiday traditions.
We can we can do them too
'cause I've moved all of my appointments
to early morning, so we're free and clear.
That's a shame.
Uh, well, that's wonderful.
But tomorrow morning, bright and early,
I have a very special surprise
for the kids, so you'll miss that.
I'm very excited.
Ta-da!
New tradition!
This is more than a tree farm.
They have a train.
They have hot cider.
- Pictures with Santa.
- Pictures?
No. Pictures with Santa?
What are we, five?
It's ironic.
All the teenagers are doing it.
Hashtag lighten up. It's Christmas.
And we had to do this
at eight o'clock in the morning?
We wanna get the best tree.
Beat the crowds.
You said you wanted a normal Christmas.
I'm bringing the normal! Yeah.
So we're gonna find a tree,
and it's gonna be fun!
Is it, though?
Gabe, think of it like a scavenger hunt.
You love scavenger hunts.
Find a tree that has a good shape
with room around the branches.
- Like that one?
- Done.
I don't understand.
You always wanted
to come pick out a tree in real life.
Uh, bring me a cider.
Ooh, yeah, me too. Thanks, Mom!
I can stay if you want.
Okay
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Can you help me with my tree?
That depends.
Have you been naughty or nice?
Santa will help either way.
He's just curious.
Uh
How about nice if you help me
and naughty if you don't.
Santa likes this answer.
We're getting a living Christmas tree.
We don't get a lot of customers for that.
You should promote them.
A living tree can sequester hundreds
of pounds of carbon in its lifetime.
They're awesome.
That is awesome. Santa thinks
you're the prettiest tree lover he's seen.
- Oh. Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
Um, so,
are you gonna continue
to speak in the third person
this entire conversation?
No, no, no, because my name isn't Santa,
so technically, Santa isn't speaking
to you in the third person.
Chet Moore. Recent transplant
from Portsmouth. It got way too bougie.
Uh, Kate Holden. Uh
- What are you doing?
- Checking for a wedding ring.
You're hitting on me?
Yeah. You're smart, funny,
beautiful, and apparently single,
which, why that is go figure, huh?
- How old are you?
- Twenty-eight.
- Same age as you.
- You're good.
Thanks.
Yeah, I tried Krav Maga.
It wasn't for me. A little too violent.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Huh.
- So I got into yoga instead.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
No problem. I actually, um,
I hang outdoor Christmas lights,
jumpstart dead batteries,
even have my own snowplow
if you need anything like that.
- Oh, triple threat.
- Yeah.
- Well, thank you for helping me.
- Uh-huh.
Well, you could let me thank you
by letting me take you out to dinner.
Oh.
And, uh, cheat on Mrs. Claus?
I couldn't let you do that.
No. We're in an open relationship.
It's totally fine.
If she doesn't know, it won't hurt her.
Here's my card.
Uh, call me sometime.
That's my number. I wear a lot of hats.
- "Chet Moore."
- Yeah.
"I wear a lot of hats."
That's me.
- Bye.
- See ya.
- Thank you.
- Uh-huh.
- Bye, Mom.
- Where are you going?
Oh, we were gonna go
meet Dad and Tess downtown.
- But it's time for origami.
- Can we do origami later?
Dad never takes time off,
and we don't wanna miss it, so
Um, yeah. That's fine.
- Go have fun.
- Bye, Mom.
- Ooh, Bye.
- Bye.
I can't believe
Everett took time off of work.
Yeah.
So apparently, it is possible.
I am gonna make a fortune
on this commission.
It's my nephew's drone.
He's got, like, two brain cells.
- I figure, if he can do it, so can I.
- Oh let's see about that.
Whoa. Watch out!
- Sorry. Sorry.
- Good God, woman!
Stay down. Stay down.
I'm trying. I'm trying.
- Oh my God.
- Oh! Oh.
Remember when I started my business
and he wouldn't take a few mornings off
to watch the kids?
So I insulated an entire attic
wearing Gabe in a sling.
Oh, I do. It was my attic.
You have a freakish amount
of solar panels on your house.
If a storm hit right now,
I have enough energy
stored in the battery...
- Watch out!
- Oh!
Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry! I'm sorry!
Good God, woman!
Okay.
I'll do better. I'll do better.
Some think you're hoarding enough power
to light up Times Square.
Well, maybe I am.
Goddammit! What is wrong with you?
Okay. Okay, I got it. Nope, crushed.
Dad and Tess took us shopping.
What?
Yeah, oh,
and I got this cute little jumper.
Oh, hey, Mom, look.
Check all this out, huh?
Brand-new pants, brand-new coat to match.
I don't think I've had
anything matching, like, ever.
- And did I mention new?
- Yeah. Also, new, no holes, and it fits.
Okay but the clothes
I bought you were not rags,
they didn't have holes, and they fit you.
They were just gently used,
which you know
is so much better for the Earth.
Oh, Mom, Tess also said
that I could intern for her company.
Yeah. She said that I have
the leadership qualities she looks for.
You are a leader. I've told you that.
- And look what I got.
- What's that?
It's a pocket fireplace. Look.
Fire on. Fire off. Fire on. Fire off.
Fire on. Fire off.
We get it.
I feel like a dragon.
Ugh
- Oh, that's Dad and Tess.
- Wait, you just got home.
- We're gonna sled at Mad Mountain.
- I need shoes.
I'm so excited!
- I don't trust you with fire.
- I am so excited!
Ah!
I'm fine! I'm fine!
Aw. Hi, Kate.
- That's precious.
- Yeah, it's precious.
And when it falls apart in a week,
we can just throw it into a landfill.
Whoa!
Hey, what is what
what is wrong with you?
Well, Everett,
I feel upset
that I have spent their entire lives
working to make Christmas
more than an opportunity
to be materialistic.
Well, I feel like
you got a Christmas tree without me.
And I feel like
I don't have to run things by you.
It's this, "I feel, I feel."
Ugh! I hate "I feel" s!
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hey, uh,
so we'll be back for dinner.
Okay, um, but when
when when are we gonna do origami?
We'll do it later.
Okay. Have fun.
Take the clothes back!
Take the tree back.
Take the clothes back!
- You take the tree back.
- Take those clothes back!
You do the clothes. I'll do the tree.
Have fun.
He would never do this on his own.
He's dating Satan Claus.
It's diabolical.
She's using fun against you.
I'm fun.
What?
I can be fun.
I'll show them fun.
You know who else I bet is fun? Chet.
Oh, could this place be any more adorable?
Wow. Oh, look!
- Hey!
- Hey!
What's up? Ha-ha! Yeah!
- Well, hey!
- Hey.
Al, what are you doing here?
Oh, I'm on a date.
This guy.
- Meet Chet.
- 'Sup?
You're on a date.
With him. With a person named Chet, huh?
Everett.
Uh, you're the guy
who was at the Christmas tree farm, right?
- Yeah.
- Oh! Yo, what's up?
My man.
- Okay.
- Oh.
- Okay.
- Babe.
- Okay.
- Oh yeah.
- Babe.
- Crazy.
- Oh God. Okay.
- Sorry.
- I think I'm next.
- What's up, man? Hi.
You know what I'm saying?
Ohh
Oh!
Wow, you're so strong.
Yeah. He's really strong.
I got a little something for you.
Chet Moore.
I wear a lot of hats.
"Chet Moore. I wear a lot of hats."
- Yeah. He wears a lot of hats.
- So many.
Right there. You wrote it on there, huh?
- Both sides.
- Oh yeah.
Chet's really fun. Do something fun.
Should I do the thing with the
You know? With the
- Yeah, do it.
- Okay.
Pow, pow. Pow, pow. Pow, pow, pow, pow!
- You do that. You do it.
- Yeah.
It's like there's a family
of beavers playing under there.
Mom, are you okay?
- I've never been better.
- Crrrh! Crrh!
Let's sled.
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.
- Let's do that. Let's go sliding.
You're going on that one?
All right, babe. See you later.
So where's Chet?
Is he in a deep conversation with a tree?
Where's Tess? On a fake Zoom with the UN?
How are you even mad?
I took time off of work
to be with our kids.
Which you never did before.
I bet you're not even working
on Christmas Eve.
I am. It's the busiest night of the year.
You know this.
For people who eat too much
and could easily
go to the doctor in Newberry.
This is Winterlight, okay?
- It's not You're not at Johns Hopkins.
- Oh no. Not again.
Maybe if you weren't so obsessed
with your own career
- Playing all the greatest hits!
- maybe I could've had a career of my own!
- But no. You dragged me to this tiny town.
- I didn't
I didn't drag you. Okay?
I brought you to the place I love the most
because you're the person I love the most.
Loved.
You know what I mean.
I always know what you mean.
It's annoying.
Oh.
There she goes.
She was a good sled.
Well, you're in luck.
Come on.
I'll give you a ride.
Your chariot, my dear.
I should steer.
Why do you have
to control everything? Huh? Just sit.
Fine.
But don't touch anything.
Mm I can't make any promises.
- Oh!
- Ah. All right.
There are several inches of coat
between my arms and anything.
Oh.
- There we go.
- Really? I feel something.
Pay no attention to that.
- Uh-huh.
- Let's go.
Oh, hey, look.
There's Mom and Dad sledding together.
Here we go.
Wait. You're
you're making it go too fast!
Oh wow. They're going really fast.
Yeah, and he's, like,
really grabbing on to her. Jesus.
- I can't control gravity.
- You're gonna hit Nigel!
- Out of the way!
- Nigel!
- Out of the way!
- Oh God!
- Nigel's down.
- You're gonna go over the thing!
- Nigel's down!
- We're gonna go over!
- Oh my God! Let go.
- Let go?
- Let go! Bail!
- What do you mean?
Bail! Now!
God.
- Ow.
- You okay?
Oh. Yeah, I'm I'm fine.
No. No, no, no,
you're not you're not fine.
- I know you better than that.
- Okay.
Oh
- Jesus.
- Oh boy.
See that? It's gonna be cold.
- Here you go. Ready?
- Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Okay, breathe in.
Good. Breathe out.
Time of death, 3:58.
No, you're good. Nothing's broken.
Probably just a little bruising.
- I told you I was fine.
- I'm sorry. I should've listened to you.
You have so much more medical experience
than I do.
Well, I was married to a doctor.
God, you're pretty.
Betty?
Yeah, Al?
Can you take your hand out
from under my sweater?
Oh, yeah. Sure.
- Uh
- Hey, this zipper is just stuck a little.
Anybody want food?
- Yeah. I'm starving.
- She's good. She's good.
- Wait up!
- I got you.
- Chet, here.
- Yep.
Here we go.
Hmm.
Something wrong?
- Yes. Several things, actually.
- Okay.
I lost my AirPods in the snow
and broke my sled,
and they said they can't fix it.
Well, I can't do much about your AirPods,
but I can try and fix your sled.
I might have a screw in here. Hang on.
Ah! You're in luck.
No way.
You you go sledding with a screwdriver?
I go everywhere with a screwdriver.
Um
There is, uh, one other thing
you could, uh, perhaps help me with.
- What's that?
- Well, I, um
I basically just started seeing this guy,
and, uh, I just watched him
get very cozy with his ex-wife.
Oh that? No.
No.
I hit the ground really hard,
and he's my doctor.
It was strictly professional,
his hand being up my shirt.
- Mm.
- Yeah. You have nothing to worry about.
Though I do just have
one burning personal question.
What's that?
Forgive me, but
how did you let him get away?
- Oh, like...
- Hey, guys, guys, uh, how many?
Uh, two?
- I'll take the lot!
- Sir Gandalf.
- It's Harry Potter.
- Yeah, I don't know what that is.
Uh Oh, August.
What are you doing? You work here?
Yeah, seasonal.
I'm a middle-school principal, Doc,
not Jeff Bezos.
Oh.
I loved him in The Fly, man.
That was great.
That's Jeff Goldblum.
- Right. Same guy.
- Sorry.
No. Um, okay, so I'm gonna do five ciders,
five dogs. Only mustard.
Sounds good, and for Kate's new man?
Ooh. Uh, I will take I'll take
two ciders. I'll take two veggie dogs.
But I want them extra crispy.
Really crispy. Make me think it's meat.
Yeah, that's not Kate's new man.
- No?
- No.
No, I I wouldn't mind the title.
How'd you let that one get away?
I didn't let him get away.
It was my idea.
Sorry, so you broke up with him
after he Clooneyed?
He didn't Clooney. Wait, what is that?
Everett's smart and kind and funny
and successful. He's a a family man.
He's a doctor
who also happens to be a stone-cold fox.
I mean, he is a unicorn.
He's a Clooney. A Clooney-corn.
- Can you stop saying "Clooney," please?
- Sorry.
Kate's smart. Kate's beautiful.
Kate's got this adorable laugh.
Kate's got a power drill that goes
through any kind of material you can find.
Stop saying "Kate."
He was married to his job.
Did he tell you
he spent all his time away from home
at the practice?
Yes. He said he missed electricity
and toilet paper.
That's ridiculous.
- We had electricity and toilet paper.
- That's not what he said.
I mean, she cared more
about her compost pile than her marriage.
Mm.
Does that feel reflective
of your marriage itself?
That's interesting.
What's more interesting
is Kate felt brave enough to share with me
that you worked on her birthday
and missed anniversaries
on more than one occasion.
- She said that?
- Yeah.
He also said
there was some five-minute shower rule
and that you make your own toothpaste?
No one takes showers
for more than five minutes
unless you're a dick.
And he said he liked
my cinnamon toothpaste.
Kate.
No one likes cinnamon toothpaste.
I don't know.
I I guess she lost interest
in trying to make it work.
- I'm sorry, that sounds really painful.
- Oh! Yeah, it hurts.
How'd that make you feel?
- Lonely.
- Mm.
Yeah, I felt really alone.
And maybe I nagged at him
about the kids and the house
and about never being there
but my giving up everything for him.
I guess he just lost interest
in making it work.
Would it have killed you
to spend a little more time with her?
Would it have killed you
to have gotten him an indoor grill?
Here.
Thank you. Thank you.
And and by the way, you know,
no judgment or complaint from me.
You know, your loss is my gain.
Your loss is my gain.
Bye, guys.
Thank you. Come back soon.
Maybe buy something next time.
That would be nice.
Oh, Katie! Katie!
Come here. Come here, honey.
Tell me, do these guys look like
they're gathered around a campfire
or like they're having a sance?
Oh, honey. I can change it.
We can do something else.
- I've lost my children.
- What?!
What are you saying?
- Daryl, calm down.
- Did you hear what she said?
- I did.
- What did she say?
Breathe. I don't want you to pass out
and smash your head
on a crock pot or something.
Why don't you go do a stock check?
It always makes you feel better.
I'm gonna do a stock check.
Always makes me feel better.
Okay, yeah, yeah. Just a minute.
Katie, here you go.
Okay.
All right. All right.
Tell Mikey all about it.
Tess and Everett took the kids
on a luxury snowmobiling adventure.
Well, I'm sure they're gonna return them.
They like her more than me.
Oh, ridiculous.
It's like it's like
the Christmas fairy came to town.
What? The the Christmas fairy?
Yeah, and she's sprinkling them
with materialistic consumer magic.
Oh, whatever. I don't know.
I thought our Christmas was special.
You know, Katie, uh,
I don't think this is about Tess at all.
- Huh?
- Ending a marriage is very hard.
And you two still have
a lotta love for each other.
We drive each other crazy.
Oh.
Daryl drives me crazy.
For example,
he cannot keep track of his damn car keys.
- Oh.
- What is that?
I don't know.
But we both know
what the end of the day should look like.
Us in our La-Z-Boys, beers in hand,
enjoying a little Gayle King,
the two of us touching toes.
That's so beautiful.
It is.
I never even wanted
to get divorced.
And now look.
I don't have Everett or my kids.
Katie, you're a wonderful mother.
I am?
And Gabriel and Sienna,
they're they're normal kids.
They're hypnotized by shiny objects.
But trust me, that will pass.
- It will?
- Oh yes.
- Really?
- Yes.
In a couple of days,
it'll be Christmas and presents.
Yes.
I really need a win.
Well, then
I think the undisputed champion
of the Great Holden Gingerbread Bake Off
should go home
and dust off her rolling pin.
Right.
- Yes.
- That's what I'm gonna do.
- Yes!
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Okay. Thank you, Mike!
You still listening, Daryl?
I wasn't listening.
That was really nice.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm so happy
we're doing this together.
How's it coming?
It's going pretty good.
Good. Why isn't Nigel helping you?
Oh, he's in there
playing an online Quidditch match.
- Why? Is there another kind?
- Shut up.
Look, at least he's committed,
so you gotta respect that.
- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.
I wish everyone did.
- Sweetie, I like Nigel.
- Mm-hmm.
I really do.
But you are a very serious person,
and you have
a very bright future ahead of you.
- Nigel, he's...
- Fun.
Silly.
Nigel is exactly the vibe I need.
- You totally underestimate him.
- Pass it! Pass it! Yes!
I've got it! Boom!
I am Daniel Radcliffe.
He he studied to be a chef.
His parents own this cool little pub
in a charming Yorkshire village.
He starts work there this summer.
I'm going to visit him.
No, no, no.
Small towns are like quicksand. Stay away.
- Hello, family.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- You met my sugar daddy?
Yo. What's up, fam?
- Oh.
- I am the Notorious B.I.Gingerbread.
Yeah, you are.
- I love these little straws. So good.
- It's not a straw.
- I don't know.
- Oh, hello, Christmas.
Well, hello, bartender.
- I actually have that exact same outfit.
- Do you?
- Does it chafe in the back?
- It does.
- Right? It's crazy.
- Hello. Sorry we're late.
- Hi.
- Someone didn't wanna come.
Everett! No, sorry. It's just that
I don't know how to do this sort of thing,
and I don't really like to lose.
So
thank you for telling everyone.
Well, it's just fun. Not a competition.
Brilliant.
Uh, okay, well, Tess and Everett,
why don't you guys be right here?
- And Dads?
- Mm?
Wait. Where's the house?
Actually, we left it in the store because,
this year, we're going to be presenters.
Okay? I'm Noel Fielding
from
The Great British Bake Off.
- Who are you?
- I'm Jeff Probst from Survivor.
- Oh my God. I love that band.
- Mm.
- They're so good.
- One-hit wonders.
Yeah. "Heat of the Moment"?
Fantastic song.
- Okay.
- Okay.
But you love making
Gingerbread Holden's Hardware.
Less competition.
Okay. It's not a competition.
- It's not a competition.
- It's not a competition.
- What was the wink-wink?
- No, it's just fun.
- What was the wink?
- It's fun. Nothing.
- Right there. Yeah.
- Yeah?
It's missing a little space.
That's perfect. That feels good.
- That's nice. That's really nice.
- Okay.
God.
He's embarrassing himself
flirting like that.
The kids are watching.
I think he's trying
to make himself feel better
about losing the best thing he ever had.
I like you.
Talk more.
Well, uh Well,
do you wanna make him jealous?
Do I seem that immature?
No. No, no. Of course not.
Maybe a little. Do you want to?
- No!
- I'm gonna throw you on the counter.
- No, no. You definitely don't
- I think it's a great idea.
Go ahead and follow my lead there.
Yeah, fantastic.
- Mind if I borrow this for a second here?
- Oh. Oh.
- Hi, how are ya?
- Oh, hi.
- How are you doing?
- Oh, hi there.
- Is he watching yet?
- I don't know. Oh, yeah.
Is he? He's watching?
A little bit of this.
Oh, okay. Um Oh.
- Um
- She's just embarrassing herself.
- Why do you care?
- I I don't.
- Ooh. Shake it down.
- Okay. Down.
- Bam, bam, bam.
- Down?
- Whoa.
- Oh!
Did I drop something?
Oh. Excuse me, miss.
Oh!
Too hard, huh?
God, what is he doing?
Ah!
One of my side hustles
is I'm an exotic dancer.
Okay.
Bakers!
You have five minutes left.
- What are you doing in here?
- Hey, don't look, spy.
Ah, this isn't
a competition, remember?
- Hmm?
- Mm.
- Where's your partner?
- He got bored. He's entertaining April.
Yeah.
You two were having fun.
So were you.
Listen, Katie,
can I talk to you about something?
Yeah, but hurry. I need you
to help bring this into the other room.
- Okay. Hold on. Come here.
- Oh.
Just a second, okay? I just
- I wanted to say that I'm sorry.
- It's fine.
The kids' coats were falling apart.
They needed new ones.
- No. No, no, no. Not that.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm sorry that I wasn't a better husband.
What?
You were right.
I mean, I spent so much time at work.
You and the kids paid the price.
Am I dreaming?
Is this a prank?
No. No, no, no.
I've just been
I've been thinking a lot lately, you know?
You know, my dads were the first
gay couple around here to have a kid.
And it was a little bit unusual,
so they got a lot of attention.
You know? Some
Some good and, uh, some not so good.
It's like we were this experiment
that people were watching.
"Can a gay couple raise a kid?"
And I guess I I internalized that.
Right?
And I had something to prove,
you know, for them.
And, uh, well, I guess that just turned me
into a workaholic, and I'm sorry, Kate.
I'm I'm so sorry.
You never told me that.
I never really knew it,
you know?
I guess it took me
nine months of separation.
It was easier to blame you for everything
than to look at my own stuff.
And I just hope to do it better
the next time.
Next time?
Yeah. Yeah.
A better husband, uh, a better father.
I'm not following you.
Well, I mean, you know, with
Tess and I are
you know, if I get married again,
if I have kids again,
I'm going to do it better because of you.
Because of our marriage, so
thank you.
Right, here we are.
Hmm.
Doesn't scream Christmas, but good effort.
Son, you worry me.
- Thanks.
- Mm.
- All right.
- So what do you two have for us?
No.
Sorry, no. No, no, no. Uh, forfeit.
Oh, stop, stop, stop. How bad could it be?
Get ready. Boom.
- Oi.
- So is there a story to this?
We failed.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- The tribe has spoken.
- Mm-hmm.
- Better luck next year.
- Thank you.
And now we come
to the house we've all been waiting for.
Mm-mm-mm.
Katie.
Well, I think we've found our winner.
Can you tell us about this?
Mm, I'd love to.
See, years ago, I came to Winterlight.
I got married
and put aside my career ambitions
and felt like a big, fat failure.
- Oh.
- But it's okay.
I was wrong about that.
See, I thought that my purpose
was to help the world
through green architecture,
but it turns out that my purpose
was to teach my ex-husband
how to be a better father and husband
to his next wife and kids.
Oh!
I just can't wait
to get out of this place.
Chet made the, um, the reindeer.
Oh, yeah.
Uh, the reindeer poop is edible, so
Huh. Nice touch.
Thank you so much for today.
I I had a blast. This was amazing.
I gotta pick up the twins from Tiny Toes.
Oh, wait, you have twins?
Yeah. I'm a manny a couple days a week.
- Of course you are.
- Stay strong.
Call me, and, uh pound me?
Really get in there. Pound me.
Okay.
- Nice.
- Yeah.
Thank you, milady.
Mm!
You like that?
- Oh.
- Gonna have to have that removed.
- I don't like that there.
- Okay.
- I miss you.
- Bye.
What do you mean
you can't wait to leave this place?
The dining room. It was super hot.
Wasn't it stupid hot?
- Al?
- Huh?
What's goin' on?
After Gabe graduates high school,
I'm moving to Boston.
- What?
- Mom.
Oh my God.
Katie, w w why?
I got my old job back.
It's another shot for me.
- What about our house?
- I need to sell it to pay for my new life.
Okay, hold on, so you're telling me
you're gonna sell our house,
but you didn't even bother
to run it by me?
So this is your idea of total honesty?
I was gonna tell all of you. I really was.
I wanted to wait till after the holidays.
I didn't wanna ruin Christmas.
Uh, well, I'm not leaving, so
Selling The Mothership? That's like
selling your third child or something.
Are you really gonna
leave us? We thought you liked it here.
Oh, Katie, this is a sad day indeed.
Me, of all people?
You couldn't tell me?
Yum, yum, yum.
I made apology scones.
I'm still mad at you.
Baked goods are not gonna change that.
I'm sorry
I didn't tell you about the house.
I didn't want our Christmas to change,
but it turned out
it changed anyway for other reasons.
Well, I forgive you.
These scones are brilliant.
Thank you, Nigel.
And I've decided
I'm not going to insist
that you participate
in our family traditions anymore.
You can do whatever you want.
You're old enough
to decide for yourselves.
Yesterday, you seemed deranged.
Now you seem, like, possessed.
This is the new me, Gabe.
Gabe, how's the essay coming along?
I want to be a firefighter, Mom.
My choice is made.
Right, and when you go to college
somewhere else,
you will see
that you have so many more choices.
Right.
I'll go talk to him.
Okay. Thank you, baby.
As Albus Dumbledore once said,
- "Harry, you must..."
- Nope, absolutely not.
Okay, um
Well, then I'll say it.
I think your biggest fear
is that your children
will turn out like you,
and from where I sit,
that's not such a bad thing.
Thank you, Nigel. That's very kind.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Wow. You look gorgeous.
Thank you.
- So do you. Nice tux.
- Thank you.
It's, uh, it's a tearaway tux.
Part of my exotic-dancer routine.
I'd show you right now,
but it's just so much work
to put all the Velcro pieces
back together. It's a nightmare.
- Show me another time.
- Yeah.
- Later tonight, even, if you want.
- Okay.
Yeah. I will.
All right.
- Milady.
- Thank you.
I stopped cold plunging,
and I just use Icy Hot now.
- What?
- It's great. It's fantastic. Oh my God.
- Hi, Chet. Let me help you with your coat.
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.
- Go easy, woman.
It's a little stuck. I know that guy!
He's next to the wizard.
- What's up? Hey, how are you?
- Mm!
- Ooh!
- Here, hold that for a sec.
Oh, you bought a pocket fireplace?
Yeah, I'm replacing the one for Nigel
that I smashed, remember?
That's funny, you don't look drunk.
Hmm.
Can you watch Chet for me?
Will I?
Oh, good. Kate's here.
And, uh, Chet.
Wow.-
Hey, guys.
Everyone, just gather around for a second.
Thank you.
Um, I just wanna make a toast.
With apple juice because I have
to open the clinic in two hours, so
I just wanna say
that I'm happy for you,
and you're finally getting
the life that you want,
and nobody deserves it more.
And if I could go back in time,
I would've made sure it was a lot sooner.
So, to Al, right?
- To Al!
- To Al!
- Yeah.
- To Kate.
- Kate!
- Mm.
Mm! And I just also wanted to add,
thank you so much for coming.
You know, this is my first time
throwing a Christmas dinner
because normally on Christmas,
I'm in a soup kitchen,
uh, you know, feeding the poor
and the needy and the homeless,
so you know, it's just
Uh, but this is still also so nice.
And I know you're dying
to open the presents,
so I think we should just eat
as fast as humanly possible.
- Let's go.
- All right.
- Yeah, come on.
- Let's!
Let's eat. Let's eat. Let's eat.
Those are from me.
So thoughtful of you. Thank you.
They're Stella McCartney.
- Mm.
- Wow.
- Do you know who that is?
- Yes, I know who that is. Thank you.
Well, I, uh, I have one for you too.
I know what this is.
Oh, no, you didn't.
I made it.
- You made it?!
- Yeah.
My hats are loved, okay?
They're legendary.
- You got that right.
- That hat I always wear?
- Kate made it.
- Hey, I love my hat.
Thank you, Dad.
Yeah, I I think this is very
warm looking.
Dad, open that big one right there.
It's from Mom.
- You know, maybe it's a hat.
- Okay.
Ooh, it's heavy.
- Do you need help?
- No, I'm good.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
- Maybe help him.
- Thanks.
- What is it?
- Oh yeah! No.
You didn't. It's an indoor grill. Huh?
Oh my God!
Hold on, you guys. Stop clapping.
I don't want anything.
No one look at me. I feel
I thought he was kidding
about how much he wanted one.
Hey, I never joke
about grilling in my underwear.
Right, sorry. Gotcha.
Al, thank you.
I'm sorry it took so long.
No.
- This is for you.
- Oh.
- Got you.
- Yeah.
- It's from me, though. Thanks, Chet.
- Thanks.
My perfume.
Yeah.
- Oh
- I hope it's close.
Dads told me
you didn't pick up your bottle,
so I figured that I'd try
to replicate that scent you wear.
I can't believe it.
It's exactly the scent.
How?
Well, I've been smelling it
for a very long time.
Tess!
- Sorry.
- Come on.
- Must be the perfume.
- Right here.
Looks expensive.
Better be.
Is it a ring?
Well, what is it?
Um
It's AirPods.
- Nice.
- That's great.
Yeah, it's, you know,
because you lost yours sledding.
Yeah.
Sorry, it's just, uh,
just that you gave your ex-wife
her signature perfume
that you made from scratch,
and, uh, and then you gave me AirPods.
- Hey, Tess, it's not a big deal.
- Yeah.
Kate doesn't like store-bought gifts.
I'm trying to be a good ex-husband.
Right, yes. Yes, no.
You're right. You're right. I'm sorry.
I I I've made it weird.
Uh, it's getting late.
We're gonna take off.
No. There's more presents.
- We're going. Find your keys.
- I love going. That's fun.
Okay, let's go, Chet.
- Why can you never find your keys?
- Because I
- Has anyone seen his key?
- I got it.
Ah, good.
- Love you.
- Love you.
- Love you.
- Stay for dessert.
They want to go, just let them.
Careful.
- Come here. Hugs.
- Oh, yeah. Love you.
- Love you.
- We're gonna go too.
- Bye.
- Oh wow, look, there's a fire.
- Whoa, whoa!
- Gabe, get back!
Keep calm. Find the nearest exit.
Don't come back inside. Stay low.
Everybody stand back!
Get back!
- Sorry, sorry.
- What are you doing, Chet?
Whoa!
What the
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Wow!
Stay back!
No!
Look away! Look away!
Stay safe.
Oh!
No!
My eyebrows are singeing. It's hot!
Chet, where'd your clothes go? Move!
- Yeah. All right!
- Yeah!
Yeah!
All right. Yeah, Gabe.
- Good job, baby!
- Attaboy!
Okay. Yeah.
- Hey.
- Phew. Pff.
- What happened?
- Well, that was a gift for Nigel.
For me?
Yeah.
- Nigel.
- Nigel. Yeah.
- I blame myself.
- There's no one to blame.
No, I mean for all of this.
For all of this!
I pride myself on sidestepping
problematic relationships.
I avoid idealized male stereotypes,
you know, that seem too good to be true.
And all of this is just a huge red flag.
I didn't sign up
for dating some country doctor
and his wife
and whatever the hell Nigel is.
- Yeah, I get it.
- But, you know, thanks for the AirPods.
Hm.
I guess you should go talk to her.
I should?
Oof.
Yeah.
Sorry about tonight.
No, it's totally okay. I always say,
if it's not a fight, it's not family.
Well, I'm just glad
that you and your pants were here.
Oh, they're fire retardant.
I use a lot of flaming puppets in my act.
It's a it's a hard thing to describe,
but I'll show you sometime.
- Okay.
- So so you're really really moving, huh?
Yeah, I I should've told everyone sooner.
Well, I'm I'm totally open
to a a long-distance thing.
You know, there's a lot of great,
like, beer museums out in Boston, so
No. I'm sorry.
Well, Chet understands
and is hoping you will change your mind.
- I won't.
- Damn.
But thank you for making me feel special
at a time when I really needed it.
You're a great guy.
So are you.
Oh! Mm!
Mm.
Mm!
Okay.
Bye, Chet.
- Well, see ya.
- See ya.
Oh!
Oh!
I'll see you soon, huh?
All right.
You've been with us through it all.
I never thought
it would be so hard to leave you.
Thank you for everything.
Aw. You're welcome.
Wait, what did I do again?
You're the best daughter.
Yeah, well, that wind is so loud,
it kept waking me up.
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
Hm.
- Can we snuggle?
- Oh, yes, please.
Yeah.
Hey, did that wind wake you up?
Yes.
Sounds gnarly out there. Oh my God.
What are you doing?
- Okay.
- Gabe! Okay.
- Sorry, guys.
- Oh God.
- Phew!
- You wanna snuggle too?
No.
Maybe.
Come here.
You can put your head
on my shoulder too. It's legal.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
My babies.
Who's that?
Twenty bucks says it's Chet.
What are you doing here?
Why aren't you at the clinic?
I put a sign on the door
telling people to go to Newberry.
Am I late?
- For what?
- It's Christmas Eve book night.
Am I the only one who cares about
carrying on these family traditions?
Jeez Louise. Excuse me.
Look what I found on the doorstep.
Hey, what up, Dad?
- Oh.
- Yeah.
It's your dad.
Tell me the truth, am I adopted?
I'm your father. I'm your dad.
Ooh. I'm coming in,
I'm coming in, I'm coming in hot.
Okay. Ah.
Ooh, it's time.
We don't have to read
the whole thing, right?
- No.
- It's like a thousand pages.
We would never torture you guys like that.
Absolutely not.
- Yeah.
- Uh-uh. Page one.
This is our first picture together.
Me and your mommy.
What a smokeshow.
Look at how gorgeous your mother is.
Aww. You aren't too bad yourself.
I feel like crying. I might cry.
That was fun.
Oh, yeah.
I loved it.
So I should I should probably get going.
Thanks for tonight.
Of course.
I thought we fixed this door.
Huh? Dumb old house.
Hey!
It's okay, House.
He didn't mean it.
I'm sorry, House.
I didn't mean it.
There's just so many things
that don't work.
And so many things that do.
Yeah.
- So yummy.
- It's so yummy.
Best egg I've ever had.
- Oh, Merry Christmas, sleepyheads.
- Merry Christmas.
- Aww!
- It's Christmas. You get kisses.
Aww! Hi, Mom. Merry Christmas.
- Um, I'm gonna...
- And me.
Oh! Oh, okay.
Oh, Nigel. Merry Christmas.
Um, I'm gonna go dig out the truck.
- I need to drop you at your dad's by nine.
- Wait. You're not coming?
After last night? No. No, I'm good.
I I have lots to do around here.
Change of plans. We're walking.
Well, hello, family.
Everything okay?
With?
The storm.
The storm inside or the storm outside?
The storm outside.
I have no heat, no power,
and a tree fell on my woodshed,
so yeah, it's great.
Poor baby.
Oh, oh, oh, Tess. What
- Sorry, was I loud?
- What are you doing?
I'm leaving. I'm going home.
Okay, but, um, the roads are closed,
so it's probably not safe.
If I can walk
across Africa, Kate,
I think I will be fine in Winterlight.
Thank you, though.
Okay. Um
I know that Everett and I need
to work on our boundaries.
And are these going to be, uh,
some sort of magical boundaries
that make you completely invisible?
'Cause that is the only way
he's not going to light up
every single time you're in the room,
and I just I can't.
But thank you for having me,
and thank you for the hat.
And I have got to go.
Oh my God. I thought
she pushed you down the stairs.
Tess, where you going? Huh?
The power is out, and it's freezing,
and you're wearing a vinyl coat.
Oh, I'll be fine.
I've got Kate's cool hat, don't I, Betty?
- You don't wanna talk about this at all?
- Talk about what? What are we doing?
What did we think was gonna happen?
Maybe when I twisted my ankle,
I also hit my head
because why am I in the North bloody Pole
with some Marlon Rando
I met four weeks ago?
I think we might have been suffering
from some sort of mutual manic episode.
And and I think no one noticed
because we're both
just so attractive and tall.
Well, at least the sex was good.
Yeah Yeah, it was good.
It was getting there. It was. Oh!
Oi! Okay, I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna leave you
to deal with all of this.
Merry Christmas, Betty.
Merry Christmas.
Hey!
Merry Christmas!
What the Chet?
Yeah!
Why is he everywhere?
I'm an emergency-response-team volunteer.
This is The Big Leplowski.
Of course it is.
I need to get to the interstate.
I think it's all been plowed by now.
No, no. I haven't gotten to it yet.
Then I'll get a bloody helicopter.
I don't care. Just get me out of here.
I need to go to New York.
Oh, Chet loves New York.
Course he does.
And is this one of your, um,
stripper outfits?
Can be if you want it to be.
We'll, uh, talk about that later.
- Bye, Kate!
- Bye, Chet!
- Bye, guy!
- It's Everett, but
Okay. Sure thing, Kate.
Let's go.
I hate to sound like the Grinch, but
maybe we should postpone
until the power comes back.
Or cancel altogether.
I mean, how many signs do we need
that this is not our year?
What are we even talking about?
We're not canceling anything.
Okay? This is Christmas.
- Let's go.
- Go where, exactly?
Home, of course.
I don't know
how I didn't think of this. Duh.
The Mothership has battery power.
Heat, food,
It's Christmas! Yeah!
We should canvass the neighborhood,
see if anyone needs help.
Good idea.
- Uh-huh.
- What about me?
Wanna do presents?
Make two piles,
and we'll salvage what we can.
Yes, ma'am.
Great. I'm gonna get my boots.
Meet you down there.
Good, good.
- Honey?
- Mm-hmm?
I'm sorry you come from the weird family.
Yeah, well
I'm not.
Now that I'm older,
I I like being from a weird family.
Guess it turns out I like weird.
Well, yeah, Nigel.
- Mom!
- I'm kidding.
Plus, we're super cool.
Okay, go ahead. Tell me more things
that make me feel good.
Don't, like, lose it,
but you're looking at the president
of the Oxford Sustainability Initiative.
And I volunteer weekends at the Scrap Lab
offloading the composting system.
I'm so proud of you!
Oh, baby! Oh!
- This is the best Christmas present ever.
- Okay.
- Thank you for telling me.
- You're welcome.
Who is it? I got a Taser. Oh.
It's Gabe, Miss West.
Oh.
Hey, why don't you come back
to the Mothership with us?
We got power back there.
I can't walk. I blew out my knee at Zumba.
- Ooh, Zumba.
- Uh, we can carry you.
Can we?
Yeah.
Why's that so funny? Get in.
Okay, come on.
Ready?
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Merry Christmas!
Santa's helpers are here.
Anybody home?
So weird. We hit up every house
on the block, and no one's home.
- How's that possible?
- Don't know.
Oh.
All right.
- Try another one?
- Mm-hmm.
Whoa.
Well,
the mystery has been solved.
Yeah.
Wah! Why is that
Oh God, sorry. Thank you.
- Hello!
- Hey!
Oh, ho, ho.
What are you all doing in my house?
They would've frozen without you.
This town thinks
you hide a power plant in the basement.
Maybe I am.
That's not why we're here.
We heard there was an incident
between you
and a defenseless gingerbread house?
- Oh.
- Then announcing you're leaving.
So we all decided we wanted to tell you
how much you really mean to us.
Oh, Kate, I better hope
those fancy architects appreciate you.
You tell them since you added
a living roof on top of City Hall,
all of the local birds have returned.
It's like working in a fairy tale.
I was skeptical, as you know,
but those appliances you talked me into,
they saved me a bundle.
I bought myself
an entire revenge wardrobe.
I am a total smokeshow.
Tss!
Yes, you are.
Well
I'll make sure to tell them.
- We're gonna miss you, darling. Cheers.
- Cheers.
Cheers!
- Yes! Whoo!
- Cheers.
Oh!
Ooh. Ooh!
Ooh, it's hot!
Oh, sorry, I've taken over your kitchen.
That's old habits.
Um, if you'd like to try some,
I've modified my treacle-tart recipe
to make it vegan.
- You did?
- Yes.
Wow.
- Hm.
- Hm?
- Tasty?
- Oh my God.
It's really, really good.
I think so too.
No, I'm I'm relieved.
The Cordon Bleu's Basic Ptisserie Program
doesn't cover the plant-based arts,
so I will name it in your honor.
- Thank you.
- "Tarty Kate."
So every time I think of a tart,
I'll think of you. Uh, well, uh
I'll I'll try and convince my mum and dad
to to serve it in the pub.
- Oh, that would be really nice.
- Yeah.
You're very sweet, Nigel.
Thank you for being kind to my daughter.
- Oh.
- I can see that you're making her happy.
What more could I want?
- Oh.
- We're all happy you're here.
Oh.
- You're adorable.
- Aw.
- And a little crazy.
- Yeah.
I love this!
Dad, I Hey.
What are you doing? You sleeping?
- Wake up. I opened
- Honey?
Oh.
What did you do to him last night?
- We were clubbing.
- You were clubbing.
Mom, um, I got one last gift for you.
Um, it's my essay.
- Oh!
- It's a Christmas miracle.
- Okay.
- No. Come on. Stand up.
- Get up.
- Roll of the drum?
- That's right.
- Let's hear your voice.
Oh, no, no.
Okay.
"My name is Gabriel Holden."
"The prompt for this essay
was to describe someone I look up to,
someone who has caused me
to change my worldview."
"I thought about choosing Fire Chief Phil,
who is an admirable man,
and at 6'8 ", we all look up to Phil."
"There's only one person
whose conviction of beliefs
and fierce tenacity
has caused me to change my worldview,
or even have a worldview,
and that would be my mother, Kate Holden."
"My mom thinks she gave up a career
where she could've made the world
a better place,
but I know that she does this
on a daily basis."
"And it's not always flashy,
but she taught me
in the most practical sense
how to make life better for people."
"From installing
Doris's compostable toilet
to promoting an organic house-cleaning
business for a woman's shelter,
she helps make an impact on the world
one person at a time."
"My mom always says,
'Small acts make a big difference.'"
"She's the reason I wanna spend my life
in the service of others."
'"Give me the strength to save a life'
is the firefighters' motto."
Oh!
That was so beautiful.
I'll never forget it, ever.
I hope not. That was, like, my last copy.
Well, you don't need it now.
You're gonna be a firefighter, right?
What?
That's your passion.
I want you to do what you love.
I support you 100%.
Okay.
- Aw!
- Oh!
And, Sienna,
if you wanna go visit
Nigel's people in the village,
that's okay by me.
And if you wanna get married
and live there someday...
Mom, we are just dating.
Mm!
Does that mean I get to call you Father?
- Hey.
- Hey, Betty.
What are you doin' out here?
- You okay?
- Yeah.
I'm just thinkin'.
About?
About Chet, mostly.
I mean
Well, have you talked to Tess?
No.
No, I gave her the old unfollow,
ghost, delete.
Well
got news for you.
Yeah?
Chet reached out to me,
and he and Tess
have tickets to The Lion King.
- Oh, well, that's that's cute.
- Mm
That's cute.
I mean, they're perfect for each other.
They're done.
Our divorce paperwork.
Look, Al, I don't wanna get divorced.
Or uncoupled.
Let me say that again.
I don't wanna lose you.
Take me to Boston.
What about your practice?
I'll close it.
Please, Al, you have done so much for me.
I would rather be dead
than be without you.
Then I should tell you
that
I decided I'm not going.
What?
When? When when did you decide this?
Just now.
I mean, who am I kidding?
I could never leave you.
You're talking to the house right now,
aren't you?
Yeah.
So I feel like we have failed
at consciously uncoupling.
And I feel
like I never wanna hear those words again.
Betty, this is not the future
that I expected.
But I am 100% sure
that it's the one that I want.
Come here.
So my epic Christmas story
has a happy ending.
I opened up my own sustainability company.
I'm making a difference in my community
and changing the world
one person at a time.
And that
"first love, walking into walls" feeling
that I thought went away
between Everett and I?
It turns out it was always there,
just waiting for us.
- I've been waiting for an hour.
- Oh.
- You're always working.
- Oh.
- Did you get the mushroom burgers?
- Yep.
And, um, what about
your indoor grilling stuff?
I got my pit mitts.
I'm glad you're happy.
I am.
When was sunset?
The photovoltaic panels I just installed
have light sensors, and when it's dark,
they're supposed to just light up.
There it is.
Beautiful.
I love you, Betty.
I love you, Al.