A Really Haunted Loud House (2023) Movie Script

It's 24 hours
until Halloween.
And Clyde and I are super pumped
for trick-or-treating.
After years of research,
we have finally created
the ultimate route
to maximize candy consumption.
We are gonna
crush our candy record.
-Yeah, we are!
Royal Woods is the best town
ever for trick-or-treating.
Everybody in this town
loves Halloween.
That house gives out
full-size candy bars.
-All right.
Mrs. Wright has the best
homemade popcorn balls.
- Good one!
- There's scares
around every corner.
Even Flip goes all out
with his spooky candy sale.
And, of course,
-there's our house.
We go kinda big.
Another satisfied customer.
Have a spooky day!
This is great.
Our scare factor is way up.
This year will be the spookiest,
most haunted Loud House
-Good one, Lil.
-Monster five?
Who's next?
No one does Halloween
like the Louds.
-Watch out! Oh!
Good one, Lily.
Every year, we have
the craziest, scariest
Halloweeniest house
in Royal Woods.
The Shroud House Spooktacular.
They say it takes a village
to put on a Spooktacular.
Luckily, with ten sisters,
we are a village.
Hey, little bro!
-Check out my theremin.
-I'm missing all my parts!
Luna is our musical director.
-Is your spine tingling?
My bones are chilled
to the bone.
-Definitely missing something.
Leni and Lola
are in charge of costumes.
I got it!
Blood red velvet.
Yes! It's dark academia
meets the Upside Down
with a dash of zombiecore.
Why do I always
have to be your mannequin?
You have a perfect model's body.
Very little muscle structure.
And those hips!
- Can somebody help me?
- Oh, sorry!
-Gotta go!
Much appreciated.
How is your pumpkin doing?
Sorry. How's Esmeralda doing?
In Lisa's research, she found
that if you talk
to your pumpkins
they'll grow faster.
And she's talked to Esmeralda...
There you are!
...a lot!
Good morning, Esmeralda!
Isn't it a spectacular day?
Your vine is looking
extra robust!
Good job.
They've become new best friends,
which is great--
Excuse me.
Unless, of course,
you're Lisa's old best friend.
Oops. Snack time.
-How about pumpkin pie?
-I'll just get some clippers.
-Really, Todd?
Your thing for my Cucurbita
maxima is growing old.
Yep. Everybody pitches in.
Lori, the oldest, is pretty much
in charge of everything.
What's going on
with your super-secret
surprise finale?
-I need to know what it is.
-I'll tell you what it is.
It's super-secret.
You'll find out with the rest
of the delighted neighborhood.
But the visionary behind
our haunted extravaganza
is our very own queen of scream,
She's standing right behind me,
isn't she?
That's why you are the master.
Was the master.
I'm breaking her scare record.
I've got ten so far,
but I'm going for a 50-piece.
Never bet against Lynn Loud.
Now, who's next?
Lincoln, I need your help!
Can Lucy do it?
I'm kind of busy.
Whatever. I just need
someone to test some candy.
- Wait, I want to do it!
- Me, me, me, me, me!
- Me, me.
- She asked me!
Please, let me do it!
Mom's our CCO.
Chief Candy Officer.
And she's been taking it
very seriously.
Dinner is served.
Try some gory gummy organs.
What do you think?
I got a bunch more.
They brought back
And spleen.
Whenever I send myself reminders
on my phone,
it's just a bunch of typos.
-What is "Durblish Point Sent"?
-I don't know.
- Is she in here?
- Dad's trying to avoid Lynn.
She keeps scaring the
ding-dang-dickens out of me.
Boo to the yah.
You just got Lynn'd.
She's relentless.
I haven't slept in three days.
I'm actually starting
to hallucinate.
What could Durblish mean?
Hello. Husband spiraling
into insanity.
Oh, honey.
I just need to relax.
A nice cup of hot tea,
a cookie, and a nap.
A nice, big, round cookie.
How long have you
been in there?
Long enough to have eaten
all the big, round cookies.
Okay, people.
We still have a lot to do.
I still need updates on:
fake blood, corn maze,
and candy distribution.
Say hello to
the Candy Cannon Extreme.
I built this baby using
old leaf blower, a telescope,
and the motor from
Mr. Grouse's lawnmower.
Great shot. Uh, next time,
aim for a leg,
or something fleshy.
Butts. Got it.
Fire bad!
Talk about a big dummy.
Thanks. Franken-coconuts
is the official M.C.
for the Spooktacular...
Monster of Ceremonies.
Oh, Lincoln, can you please
give me the status
of your super-secret
surprise finale?
No can do.
Doing a dry run
of our trick-or-treating route.
We want to ensure
maximum efficiency.
No! "Durblish Point Sent" means
"dentist appointment"!
We're late for the dentist.
Let's go! Everybody in Vanzilla!
Okay. So, we're gonna give you
some Novocaine.
No, thanks.
I only like lemon-y things
-that don't hurt.
-It'll only hurt a little.
Barbara, syringe and light,
Got it.
-That looks like it hurt a lot.
-Why did you do that?
Oh, you forgot the light.
No, that looks like
it hurt a lot.
The good news is,
I completed my dental degree
last spring break for funsies.
The bad news is,
everyone in this room
is riddled with cavities.
Present company included.
Even me?
-Especially you, Lily.
Well, there must
be some mistake.
I'm always on you kids
to take care of your teeth.
well, about that...
Don't forget to floss!
This is all my fault.
I've been feeding
you kids candy nonstop.
Don't judge me, Barbara.
Don't judge her.
Thank you!
If you didn't already know,
that's super-influencer
Xander Coddington,
AKA, Xan-Man.
-Group selfie!
-He just moved to Royal Woods,
and throws
the most epic parties.
Post that.
And... you're all famous.
Tag me.
Clyde and I have been trying
to get in with Xander
since the day he got into town.
Tune in, Xander Nation,
we're gonna be click-clocking
-a hot new game tonight.
-Quick, let's make our move!
Hey, Xander!
Mom, I don't wanna
get a filling.
I'm supposed to do my fit check
in front of the bowling alley.
You're going. Today's the only
day Dr. Miller can see you.
Actually, Dr. Miller
can't see you today.
My sister scared Barbara,
and she stabbed him in the cheek
with a giant needle.
He's right.
I'm outta here.
-Thanks, um--
-Lincoln. Lincoln Loud.
We go to the same school.
I sit next to you in Science.
You knocked the wind out of me
in dodgeball last week.
Does this look familiar?
You're the one
who pooped his pants?
No, that was my friend, Rusty.
So, any plans for Halloween?
You're new. If you need tips
on hot trick-or-treat spots,
me and my best friend Clyde have
created a computer program
that gives you the route
to maximum candy consumption.
Thanks, but I don't do the
trick-or-treating thing anymore.
I gave that up
once I hit middle school.
Kids our age are too old
to be trick-or-treating.
What?! No trick-or-treating?!
That's insane.
Yeah. Totally.
I was just giving you tips
in case you wanted
to pass them along
to some younger kids who
clearly aren't as cool as us.
Alright. I gotta bounce.
Can I, uh, bounce with you?
Or you can bounce by yourself.
If that's how
you prefer to bounce.
Deuces, Lincoln.
You're looking
especially orange today.
Okay, Lisa, your pumpkin is--
Esmeralda is looking great.
She certainly is.
We've taken
quite the journey together.
Oh, that's adorable.
Okay, let's carve
this big girl up!
But I don't wanna
carve Esmeralda up!
I'll do it!
I wanna do it!
Do what? I wanna do it!
And I wanna do it the fastest.
I'm gonna put a smile
on that pumpkin's face!
It's mine!
-Let me at that thing!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Let's not get hasty here.
Perhaps we could do something
a little less invasive.
Like drawing
a smiley face on her
with some nontoxic,
washable markers.
O-M-G, Lisa. Have you become
friends with your pumpkin?
She is. It is ridiculous.
That thing isn't even human.
That's my chainsaw.
-You snooze, you lose.
-Ooh, ooh.
No! No, stop!
I know this sounds crazy,
but I don't think we should
go trick-or-treating.
Okay, so, just to be clear,
you don't think we should go and
get bags and bags of free candy?
Come here.
Just hear me out.
You may change your mind
after you see this.
Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack.
We're going old school.
My dads had these made
by the wardrobe lady
at their theater group.
She sewed in
real fake muscles and abs.
Listen. I know the idea
of not trick-or-treating
sounds ridiculous, but I was
talking to Xander Codding--
Xander Coddington
talked to you?!
He knew who you were?
I had to jog
his memory a little.
But the point is, he said we're
too old for trick-or-treating.
And I think he's right.
Not gonna go trick-or-treating?
We'll never go
trick-or-treating again?
Clyde, you wanna get in
with Xander
-and his amazing parties?
If we don't get in with him now,
we're gonna get left behind.
I don't wanna spend
the rest of school
on the outside of the cool
group just so we can get candy.
I mean--
There's the guy that saved me
from that lame dentist visit.
-Lincoln, what's up?
-Hey, Xander. How are you?
-I mean, 'sup? 'Sup.
I'm having a party tonight
at my crib. You should stop by.
Yeah. Cool.
Sure. Cool. Totally.
My brother
works at the junkyard,
and he found this old disco
ball, so it's gonna be #fancy.
Hey, Clyde. What's good?
What's good?
Everything's good.
It's all good.
It's all good in the hood.
He knows my name.
Super tight.
Hey, uh, nice costumes.
-Those aren't ours.
-We were just saving them
for some young
because we don't
do that anymore.
Alright, see ya tonight.
We're so going
to Xander's party!
My apologies, Esmeralda.
But your smile
looks simply splendid.
It's not polite to sneak up
on people like that.
That's why I'm hiding down here.
You'd tell me if Lynn
was down here, right?
Alright, I'm just, uh, you know,
setting up a little
Lynn-tastic Relaxation Station.
Well, maybe because I'm, uh...
What is the word? Um...
spiraling into insanity?!
Can you spiral over to that box
and see if
there's a head in a jar?
Why would you put a head--
You know what?
I don't want to know.
Why would you put my--
You know what?
I still don't want to know.
I'm just gonna put me back now.
What the heck?
Uh-oh. That's not good.
Define "not good."
What did I just cut myself with?
Define "sigh".
That's a ceremonial necklace
made from the teeth of Romulus,
the most vicious werewolf
the world has ever seen.
One scratch,
and your fate is sealed.
You will be transformed
into a hairy,
bloodthirsty, feral beast.
You should probably put
a warning on these things.
I did not see that.
You'll also have an insatiable
appetite for meat.
Huh, well, eh, I just had lunch,
so, you know...
I mean, yeah, sure,
I could go for a steak,
but I could go for
a lot of things, like a...
That's funny.
I was gonna say steak again.
How come I can't
stop thinking about steaks?
Family meeting!
I guess I'm gonna go upstairs.
That's a little...
Hang in there, Lynn.
Gonna get through this, Lynn.
You're gonna get through this.
Wait. These are just
my fake goblin teeth.
we have to close the fridge.
Lynn! Ohh! Luan!
Can I have a bite of that?
Wow, you ate that like
a bloodthirsty, feral beast.
It's starting.
Tell the others I'm not gonna
make it to the meeting.
And, um...
I'm just gonna go
down to the basement.
Do you mind locking the door
behind me?
Not because I'm turning into
a werewolf or anything. It's...
something else.
-Lock the door!
My dad is weird.
I literally cannot believe
that you are bailing
on the Spooktacular.
-And trick-or-treating!
-Who passes up free candy?
Clyde and I are
too old to dress up.
Yeah. Besides, it's just candy.
Come here.
Yes, come here.
I should've seen that coming.
Okay, skip trick-or-treating
if you want,
but the Spooktacular
is a loud tradition.
I came home
from college for this.
Our collective attendance record
has been 100 percent.
-One hundred.
-And, we've never missed one.
The entire town is gonna be here
in two hours!
And without you, we don't have
a surprise finale.
You can still change your mind.
I'm sorry, but...
Clyde and I have made
our decision.
We're going to Xander's party.
It's gonna be
the coolest thing ever.
-That's so lame.
What's so cool about it anyways?
What even happens
at one of Xander's parties?
That's when Clyde and I realized
we were in over our heads.
What happens
at a middle school party?
Seriously. What happens?
I have no idea.
I can't believe you got invited
to Xander Coddington's party.
-They're epic.
-He's that internet feller.
-Must be nice.
-He doesn't even know I exist.
He doesn't even know my name.
He knew my name.
Did he know my name?
He remembered you pooped
your pants in dodgeball.
Yes! In. Your. Faces.
In your gym shorts.
-You should come with us.
-We've got better things to do.
Yeah, we do.
While you guys are rubbing
elbows with Xander,
we're gonna catch ourselves
a Cryptid.
You really gonna climb
that mountain again?
Clyde has a point.
Our enthusiasm
for monster hunting
vastly outweighs our abilities.
Tonight's the night.
I can feel it.
Guys, let's stay focused.
We have no idea what happens
at a middle school party.
What do we wear?
Maybe some big city suit,
like the Monopoly guy?
You can never go wrong
with a top hat and a monocle.
-Moving on.
-Thumbs up or thumbs down?
-Way down.
Xander will be
doing moves so trendy,
they haven't been invented yet.
I know a thing or two
about square dancing.
Oh! Talking about aliens
is always a good ice breaker.
You guys need more
than what we can offer.
Might I suggest
your friend and mine,
the internet, check it out.
Everybody in their places!
-Check. Meow.
Candy Cannon?
Cannon ready. Waiting for candy.
Lynn, how's it coming with
the Headless Horseman?
Still headless.
Mmm. Ketchup.
Mom, where's the candy?
After our disastrous
trip to the dentist,
I realized the error of my ways.
No more cavities.
So, this year, we're giving away
Oh, yeah. I got a bunch more!
This is bad.
It's okay, Lynn. Just relax.
So you got scratched by
Romulus' werewolf teeth.
That doesn't mean you're gonna
turn into a werewolf.
You know what? Just don't, uh,
don't-don't think about it.
There we go.
I'm thinking about it.
Oh. That's sharp.
What is that?
It's happening.
Everything is ready except
for Lincoln's super-secret
surprise finale.
You guys don't need me.
You got this.
Look, we're sorry,
but we have to do this.
Good luck. Come on, Clyde.
Let's hit the party.
Places, people!
So cold.
Gloves. Gloves.
These are adorable!
What? Okay.
Stay strong.
Must fight transformation.
So cold.
Must not look
at the moon.
I'm looking at the moon!
So much glue on my face!
Such a furry bean bag!
So much hair!
Get it off!
Pardon me!
I can't wait for the show!
We are go for the Spooktacular.
I repeat,
we are a go!
I'm so excited!
Luan, you are on in ten, nine--
Lori, come in!
Come in!
I repeat, Lori, come in!
We have a problem.
Lana, we are literally starting.
Stay off the comms.
And... cue Coconuts!
Happy Halloween, my fiends!
Hope you're creeping it real!
Welcome to
the Shroudhouse Spooktacular!
Are you ready for the beast?
The beast?
What is the beast?
You ready to rock
Xander's' party?
Let's do this.
What's up?
Hey, what's up?
Mmm. So good.
You know, these things
are delicious!
Don't mention anything
to Xander,
but do you know where
he keeps his plunger?
I'm Lucy.
Happy Halloween.
Thanks for coming, everybody!
-Enjoy the Haunted Maize Maze.
-Wait! What?!
Where's Lincoln's
Super Secret Finale?
Oh. Um, well...
Lincoln had somewhere else
to be,
but who is ready for some treats
with a capital EAT?
Lana, I'm not seeing any treats.
That's what I've been
trying to tell y'all.
-Lana, treats now!
-Here goes nothing.
This is gonna be bad.
I got one!
- Toothbrushes?
- Toothbrushes?!
-And toothpaste?
No. It's just a little
candy mix-up.
Where are the treats?!
I threw it away.
Don't forget to brush!
Don't tooth-shame my kid!
Code Red.
We have a Halloween emergency!
I can't believe the internet
let us down.
We gotta get it together.
If we blow this, we'll never get
invited to anything ever again.
All right, party people,
who can beat that, huh?
Clyde, it's time to shine.
What do these people want?
Uh... I think they want candy.
Okay, we found
some stuff in the fridge.
Check it out.
We couldn't find anything sweet,
but we got this.
I'm lactose intolerant!
They're trying to murder us!
That's really not true.
This is a nightmare!
Maybe they'll get tired
and go home.
Uh, I don't think so.
Remember that one Halloween
those people gave out apples?
How do you like
them apples?
How do you like
them apples?
My revolution may have been
a horrible mistake.
-You think?
-Word is gonna spread fast.
What? How?
I'm gonna
text everyone I know!
I'm calling my mom.
I want candy!
My mom's gonna
talk about...
This is so out there.
Um... I think we need candy.
On it.
Wanna try the lettuce?
That kid killed Xander!
Thank you, and goodnight.
-Stay back!
-I'm dangerous.
-What's wrong with your voice?
I'm a... a werewolf.
Oh, your costume's so great!
Don't challenge
the beast inside me!
Oh, very scary.
Look, I messed up.
The whole house
is in danger now.
The family? In danger?
I need you to go
get some candy, fast.
Protect the pack.
Yeah, protect the pack.
Just now! Go!
- Candy!
- Candy!
We've got a full moon,
it's Halloween,
and still no Cryptids.
Hey, where's Zach?
How long were you there?
Hard to tell, fell asleep.
Probably a good hour.
Family needs...
Well, think I'll call it
a night.
I'm more tuckered than a tomcat
with a belly full of warm milk.
Shush-shush-shush! Wait.
What is that?
Clyde, how did we
screw this up so bad?
Hey, I was just rockin' out.
You're the one who launched
a microphone at Xander's head.
Yep. We blew it.
You blew it.
Hey, at least we knocked out
a famous influencer.
That'll be a cool story
to tell some day.
Yeah, to all the parties
we're not invited to.
Guys, you're not
gonna believe this.
Some house is giving away
toothbrushes instead of candy.
This is outrageous!
Why is everyone
pushing dental care?
I'm so sick of dental care!
here's our chance.
We should trick 'em!
What are you doing?
- I have a plan.
- I'm listening.
We can't let these people
off the hook.
They're messing up Halloween,
we should mess up their house.
Yeah! That Lincoln kid
makes sense!
-Alright, let's bounce!
Is anyone out there?
I can't take the suspense.
What the heck was that?
Grandfather clock app. Sorry.
Where is Dad with the candy?
-I don't know.
Do you guys hear that?
Alright, let's do this.
- You've got this, Mom.
- Really?
Well, to be fair, you did
purchase the toothbrushes.
I heard you're
giving away butter.
-Hit the bricks, kid.
We did it, buddy.
Clincoln McCloud is officially
Clincoln McCoddington.
-Cool for life.
-You know it.
-Enjoy your culinary experience!
-Thank you.
Hey, maybe that'll be
the worst of it.
We can only hope so.
Please. Oh, no.
Or the worst is coming.
This is awesome. This is great.
I mean, we got this.
-What's this?
You can't go into battle
without your weapons.
The adrenaline of this moment
is running out.
I really did not
think this through.
That's it! That's the house!
Oh, no.
Huff, puff!
Need candy!
Get out!
Where is he?
Anyone see a werewolf?
Did you see a werewolf?
Where are you pointing?
That's not very helpful!
-Let's go!
-Come on!
Yeah, let's go!
can I go to that one?
I can't believe your house
is the toothbrush house.
This idea's genius, bro.
Makes up for you giving him
that karaoke concussion.
This post is gonna go viral.
So, what's the plan?
Uh, give Clyde and I a minute
to finalize strategy.
We want to ensure maximum mess.
Hashtag-Maxiumum-Mess it is!
Get ready for maximum mess!
Lincoln, you need to come clean
and tell them it's your house!
And break up
Clincoln McCoddington?
We've come this far, Clyde.
We can't give up now.
Think about it. We're either
gonna be in with Xander
or we're gonna attack
your own house.
Actually, Clyde,
we're gonna do both.
We'll tell my family
Xander's attack plan.
So we can sabotage
this preteen mob.
So, I'm not exactly sure
what's going on here.
But I do know it's not good.
-So not good.
-We could build a time machine
and go back in time before you
handed out those toothbrushes.
Helping or hurting, Lola?
They so much as lay
a finger on Esmeralda,
they will feel the wrath
-of Lisa Loud!
No one cares
about that pumpkin.
We were all thinking it.
This house needs a remodel.
Toilet paper!
We're under attack!
Aim for windows!
Throw it to the front porch!
We really didn't
think this through.
-What are we gonna do?!
-Fight back!
-Are you kidding?
-Grab the toilet paper!
-Mom's phone.
-It's Lincoln!
-Oh, no. Lincoln's not home.
-I'm Lincoln!
Ohh! This is Lincoln.
-Leni, give the phone to Mom.
-It's Lincoln.
Hi, sweetie. Have you eaten?
-Mom, are you serious?
-Are you enjoying the party?
'Cause we're literally
getting attacked.
Yeah, Clyde and I are outside
with the angry mob.
But we're gonna work
as double agents,
and help protect the house.
Why are you with the angry mob?
We were... coming home early
to see the Spooktacular.
And they just happened
to be here.
Oh! It was so shocking.
Imagine our shock.
I mean, I was just--
Okay, fam, here's the plan.
We fight them off
using the Spooktacular.
Lana, you're on Candy Cannon.
-Copy that.
Crank up Franken-coconuts.
Create some diversions.
I've got some good material.
-A ghost, a goblin, and a--
-Zip it!
Lucy, do what you do best.
Start scaring people.
-You know it.
-I'm gonna do what I do best,
-and beat your record.
-Game on.
Everybody else, follow my lead.
All right.
Louds on three. One, two--
- Louds!
- A little early, but okay.
Let's do this.
- Let's get Loud!
- Whoo!
Lana, upstairs now!
Brush your teeth
with this!
Oh, the humanity!
Come on, Luan, come on.
Hey, bozos!
Take a hike!
-Let's get 'em!
It's alive!
Lana's in position.
Hey, Xander!
That porch looks too clean!
-Let's get closer!
Okay. Good call, Lincoln.
Come on, trash the porch!
Who's ready for their closeup?
I've been hit!
You got it, Mom.
Keep 'em coming.
That giant pumpkin
is going down!
Kind of ironic I hit him with
the pumpkin pie filling.
Lisa, come inside! We got this!
Stay strong, Esmeralda!
It's working!
This beat down is brought to you
by the letter "C."
For Candy Cannon and contusions!
Hit the driveway, come on!
Come on, go on!
Go. Go now. Now, now.
Trash the horseman!
Hey, as Mick Swagger would say,
"You're about to have
a bloody good time."
Oh, disgusting!
Candy. Oh!
Candy! Oh.
Got him.
Hello, wolf.
Stay back. I'm Lincoln's--
What is that?
That there is
a canine shock collar.
Zaps him every time he talks.
It's even got a remote.
Don't use that on a mule though.
I learned that the hard way.
It's over!
It might be the candy talking,
but I feel so alive!
Stop hitting us with food!
The sticks are the best!
Keep 'em coming.
Watch your flank!
She's getting away!
Oh, man.
That's so gross! Oh!
Where is your father
with that candy?!
We're almost out of ammo!
I repeat,
we're almost out of ammo!
Basement team, you're up.
-On it. Come on.
-I'll signal Lincoln.
Hey, Xander, let's sneak through
that stupid yet well-constructed
corn maze
and do a Backyard Blitz!
Nice! Guys, go, go, go!
I didn't say
who was getting blitzed.
Guys, they're coming!
Head that way!
Boo. Boo again.
Let's get out of here.
No! No, it's a trap!
For Esmeralda!
Come on! This way, this way!
Come on. Come on, over here.
Hurry, hurry.
No one messes with the Louds.
This is our house.
- Come on. Hurry.
- Come on, in the driveway!
Over here. This way.
We barely made it through!
I say we cut our losses
and get outta here.
No way! It's like you said.
The toothbrush house
needs to get destroyed.
See, even my followers agree.
Open window.
Perfect spot for these.
- Stink bombs?
- Industrial stink bombs.
It's time for my grand finale.
Come on, let's go.
-Come on, follow me.
-You can watch from down here.
Xander just went from pranking
to breaking and entering.
What are we gonna do?
it's time for my grand finale.
I just have to get inside.
No way. If Xander sees
we're not together,
he's gonna know
we're up to something.
Don't worry.
It's old school.
I couldn't throw this away.
Classic Ace Savvy.
This is me.
If Xander says anything,
just give him a wave.
Here. You got this.
I need water balloons filled
with goop, STAT.
Okay, Underoos.
-Get the food.
-Soy sauce, soy sauce!
Cottage cheese.
We're almost in!
Everything good down there?
All good.
Let's stink this place up.
Oh, yeah.
It's show time.
Do you hear something?
Back up! Back up, back up!
-Is that the--
-Super-secret surprise finale?
Oh, yeah.
What the heck?
That's the super-secret finale.
If you run out of soy sauce,
move onto salad dressing.
Got it.
Hello, Xander.
-Oh, no.
-Bogey at 12:00.
Locking onto target.
- Ooh!
- What the heck is that?!
Soy sauce?
I'm outta here, man.
Hey! Hey, don't go!
Looks like Xander
needs a pick-me-up.
What? Wait.
Wait! What? No!
Please. Please, don't.
No, no, no, no! No!
Yes! Time to finish this.
Hey! Hey, no video!
No video!
Put me down!
That had to hurt!
-We did it!
Xander, are you okay?
Run away!
-Come on!
-Let's get away from here!
-Yes, yes!
-We did it!
Stay off my lawn!
Don't be strangers!
We did it!
Where's your dad?
Good job, Lincoln.
I am so glad you showed up
when you did.
That was serendipitous.
You're a real hero, Lincoln.
I didn't do this to be a hero.
Oh, look. Someone posted
a video of Lincoln.
You know what? Why don't we
just not watch that right now?
-I wonder what it is.
-Or delete it.
-And watch it never.
-Even better.
We can't let these people
off the hook.
They're messing up Halloween.
We should mess up their house.
The prank attack
was your idea?
-In theory. Yes.
-But we can explain.
So, first you bail
on the Spooktacular.
-And then you try to destroy it.
-Disappointed sigh.
-Pretty low, dude.
It's not what it looks like.
-Yeah, we can explain.
No need.
Girls, girls! Calm down.
We're all disappointed
in Lincoln.
It's been a long night.
Yeah. I guess we can go clean up
Lincoln's mess.
Might as well start in the back.
Nice job.
How did this all go so wrong?
I mean, getting Xander
to like us
and attacking our own house,
seemed rock solid.
I really let my family down.
-I messed up.
-We both did.
Tune in, Xander Nation, we're
gonna be pulling off the biggest
Halloween prank ever!
Let's go, big bro!
-That's Lisa's BFF.
We have to save her.
Wait a second.
Xander's the one person
who still likes us.
I mean, getting in with him
was the reason we did all this.
I may have disappointed
my whole family,
but I'm not gonna let Lisa down.
I'm going after that pumpkin.
-Are you coming with me?
But One-Eyed Jack is.
Great minds.
Come on, bro!
Let's go, let's go!
Come on.
We did it! Yes!
Now what?
Lincoln pumpkin.
Flip. It's me.
I'm a werewolf. but-but--
Not gonna hurt ya.
I'm here for candy.
Back off! I'm armed!
Please, don't hurt me.
I'll give you anything you want.
Take all the candy.
We're gonna get you, werewolf.
And any other monsters
or demons in here too!
Split up!
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
We're not gonna hurt you...
Listen up,
you oversized hairball,
we are highly-skilled
werewolf hunters.
Specially trained
and laser-focused.
Ooh, candy corn!
I heard something!
Where are you?
How did we miss him?
We were so focused.
I told everyone
we were gonna catch a monster.
Hey! Did you pay for that?
That wasn't me.
We have to call the police!
I don't think the police
care about a pumpkin.
We'll file
a missing person report.
-She's not a person.
-Preach, girl.
-Lincoln in pumpkin.
-Not now, Lily.
-I have a video.
-Not now, Leni.
What kind of person
would want to hurt Esmeralda?
I have an alibi.
Yeah, right, dude. Sure.
-Lincoln in pumpkin.
-Not now, Lily.
Guys, I think I found
who took the pumpkin.
'Sup, Xander Nation?
You thought the toothbrush
people won?
Well, guess again. We're on
our way to the junkyard.
Gonna see what happens when
we take their precious pumpkin
and send it
into the car crusher!
-So come on down to--
-Mount Crushmore!
...and watch me totally crush it
on Halloween.
That jerk's gonna smash
Lisa's pumpkin!
Lincoln in pumpkin!
Everyone in Vanzilla, now!
Come on.
The junkyard.
Where cars come to die
and fear comes to live.
I can't believe
I suggested this place
for a Recycling Club field trip.
Alright, man with the plan,
what do ya got?
Easy. We wait
for the truck to stop.
Then we run out
that giant, open door.
Or a different plan.
What's up, party people?!
Everybody, give it up
for the dude
that's gonna make
this savage prank happen,
my bro, Paul!
Crushin' is what I do, baby!
Then fire up that crusher,
and let's teach
that toothbrush house a lesson!
-That's right!
-Crush! Crush!
Must... protect... the pack.
Mom, faster!
Lincoln's in trouble!
I'm going as fast as I can.
-What was that?
-I think that was Dad.
Crush, crush, crush!
We gotta get out of here.
The crusher that crushes things
is gonna crush us.
Oh, I can't help saying "crush."
- So, I'm not a werewolf?
- No!
I just wanna go home and take
a bath and eat a cookie.
We don't have time for that.
But I really want a cookie.
Your son and his best friend
are in a pumpkin
-in a car crusher.
-And it's being live streamed.
- Crush!
- The cookie can wait.
Let's do some crushing!
Look at that!
After we smash that pumpkin,
get ready to smash the likes.
Lincoln's gonna get squashed...
in a giant squash.
- Too soon, Luan!
- Floor it, Mom!
I'm too young to die in
a pumpkin of unusual size.
Follow me!
You're not going anywhere!
Sorry, Clyde. First time I've
climbed out of a giant pumpkin!
- Crush!
- Yeah, yeah!
No one I'd rather be crushed in
a pumpkin with than you!
Happy Halloween,
Happy Halloween, Clyde.
Crush! Crush!
- What's going on?
- I hear something.
What is that?
What is that?
-Hold on tight!
-We're doing this.
Back off, pranksters.
What a rush!
Don't you ever drive like that.
Who the heck are you?
We're your worst nightmare.
The toothbrush people.
Yeah, and we've come
to kick some butt.
-That's my family!
I'm over there a lot too!
Bro, we have one rule.
That's a good rule.
So you attacked your own home?
Yeah, but I wish I hadn't.
I let my family down.
All because I wanted to be in
with you and your cool group.
But you know what?
Nothing's more important
than my family.
-Truth, Lincoln.
-We love you, Linc.
So, you double-crossed me!
I got covered in soy sauce
and thrown into a coffin
because of you?!
You're gonna pay for that.
And so is your family.
Xander Nation, assemble!
Release the beast.
-Is that your dad?
-I think so.
Get 'em, girls!
This is awesome.
What is that thing?
This rocks.
Maybe your dad
should grow a beard.
I'm not afraid of you, witch!
Luan, give her a hand.
Okay, go.
My sisters are killing it!
Come on.
What do you say
we call it a tie?
You get a toothbrush!
And you get a toothbrush!
Go, Louds!
I think I can reach the railing.
Let me out! Come on!
Good job, toothbrush people.
Hey, Paul.
What do you say we crush
something better than a pumpkin?
I say we crush the monster van.
Totally gonna crush it.
Everyone step back 1.5 meters!
Lana, you got this?
I got this.
Are you sure you wanna
do this to Esmeralda?
She would want it this way.
I don't really know
what's going on right now,
but I know it's gonna be good.
Oh, no.
Good job, Lis!
This is the worst Halloween
Look, you're going viral!
No, no, no, no, no!
Happy Halloween, Xander.
Let's get outta here!
Oh, I hate giant pumpkins!
- Thanks for saving us, guys.
- Yeah.
I promise next year, we won't
bail on the Spooktacular.
There won't be a next year.
Literally, no one is gonna come
to the toothbrush house.
Maybe we can find a way
to get them back, somehow.
I have a plan.
So, maybe we didn't crush
Xander's party.
But that didn't stop us
from having the biggest,
loudest, epicest one
of our own.
We want candy!
Full-size candy bars?
Thanks, toothbrush people!
Sorry about
the whole shock thing.
I'm gonna have a talk
with your parents.
Point, point!
I saved a pumpkin seed
from Esmeralda.
I'll grow a new Esmeralda
next year.
That bites back!
That is pretty dark.
I can't believe we thought
we were too old
-to be trick-or-treating.
-Me neither.
I mean, once we hit high school,
we'll probably stop.
Come here once.
We're dressing up
and getting free candy
until they put us in a coffin.
I could do that for you
right now.
Come on!
Here's one for you.
Let's get loud.
I really love candy!
We want candy!
Sorry. It's hard to teach
an old dog new tricks.
-Go ahead, boy.
We want candy!
I want candy.