A Scam Called Love (2025) Movie Script

[calypso music playing]
[man over PA system]
This is a final boarding call
for United Airlines Flight 210
to Johannesburg.
All remaining passengers
should proceed to Gate 3C immediately.
- The gate will be closing in five minutes.
- [man] Excuse me!
Excuse me! Sorry!
My bad! Sorry.
- [woman] Julian!
- Yeah.
- Come on. Hurry up, hurry up.
- I'm running.
Jeez! You're so slow.
[Julian] Slow? Slow?
- You're too fast! How about that?
- Hurry up!
You're too fast, Zola!
You need to slow down.
- You'd be happier.
- [Zola] We're late!
- I'm sorry, ma'am.
- [Zola] We are late, okay?
[Julian] What do you mean?
We're on time!
[woman speaking indistinctly
over PA system]
Looks good.
[PA system beeps]
[softy] Shit.
[baby crying]
This feels a little loose, not gonna lie.
Seat belt.
That feels a little loose.
- Um, excuse me, ma'am.
- Hey! What are you No.
- Stop.
- I just...
- Stop it! What are you doing?
- I just need to ask...
- Stop.
- It's not clear, I just
[softly] Baby Jesus
Please don't let me die on this plane.
Oh. Oh, yeah, boy.
Ah.
Oh, yeah.
[tapping rhythmically]
Okay.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
I was just getting to the fucking climax.
- It's okay.
- [Julian] It's a mess.
[Zola] Let's focus on this.
- Focus!
- Sorry, my bad.
Each color represents a different lineage.
- Okay.
- The red line is my mom's side.
The blue line is my dad's side.
The green line
is all the distant relatives
who were married into the family.
Do you take your family tree everywhere?
No, I made this specifically for you.
- For me?
- Yup.
You playing.
No, I'm not.
My dad. Straightlaced,
businessman, uptight.
My mother, the ice queen.
Sounds like I'm in for a good time.
My lovely brother and his amazing wife.
[hesitating] She's the doctor, right?
Well, no
We're actually going
to her initiation ceremony.
She's a sangoma.
- Say what?
- Sangoma.
Is that like sangria?
That's a drink, right?
I told you, it's like a shamanic, um
- Spiritual healer, uh
- Mm.
or kind of witch doctor.
[scoffs] Your sister-in-law
is a witch doctor?
Yeah.
[Julian] Cool.
That is Mama Christina, my nanny.
Wait, you You had a nanny?
[Zola] Mm-hmm.
- Didn't you?
- Uh, no. No.
My uncle.
[chuckles]
Fake Tupac is your uncle?
He got an album? He got an album, right?
Just stay away from him!
What is that? Like, no eyez on him?
No eyez See what I did there? [Laughs]
I'm a straight rid ah
I can't deny it
That's not funny.
- But do you know the song?
- I do.
- Oh, you do?
- Yeah
Your joke is just not funny.
- Oh. Ah.
- [sighs]
Palesa, my superficial, scheming cousin.
We don't like her.
Roger that. We don't We don't like her.
Oluhle, my BFF.
I haven't said anything to her,
so try to keep your secret tight.
- No, sawubona.
- Sawuboner.
Sawubona.
- Sawu
- Sawubona.
Sawubo sawubonger.
No, you gotta go down
with the intonation. Sawubona.
What are my lips doing? Sawuboner.
- Like, boner. Boner. Sawuboner.
- Huh?
- No.
- Sawu's boner. [Chuckles]
- No, no one's boner.
- No?
Okay. Do you wanna keep
flipping through this again?
All right.
Sawubona.
Is
Is this a little too much for you?
Nah, nah, nah. [Scoffs]
I just
I got a couple questions
about our T's and C's.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, uh
So, Zola
Uh
[clears throat] Zola.
Um
When two become one
Join.
Um A crucial part of a marriage is
You know
[grunts awkwardly]
[vocalizes off-key]
Um, like the
[scoffs] Look
We're really not gonna have sex?
- [laughs] Night-night.
- You don't even know how good I am.
- I could be like I could
- Sleep tight.
You don't even wanna see Sawu's boner?
Sawu You see what I did there? Zola?
Sawub
Huh?
- [dog barks]
- Oh, my gosh!
"Oh, my nyosh"!
[speaks other language] Open up!
[in English] Yeah, okay.
- [suitcase lid thuds]
- Oh.
Okay, then, Miss America
- [snickers]
- I'll ask one last time
before you drive me crazy,
is there anything you'd like to declare?
No, absolutely not.
[officer 1 scoffs]
Okay
What do you know about make up?
- Hmm?
- [bottle clatters]
- Hey!
- Hmm?
So, you a "cheese girl," huh?
What? Ma'am, that's not even mine.
- I'm lactose intolerant.
- Mmm! Mmm-mmm.
Rotten cheese again.
- No, no, no.
- Hey, sisi.
Hello?
You know it's illegal not to declare food?
I understand, but it's for a fondue pot.
Huh?
- It's a fondue pot. It's like
- [officer 1 scoffs]
- My father has this thing for...
- Did she say "Fenty Pot"?
No.
Fenty cheese, girlfriend!
[imitates vocalization]
Oh, wow, it's Riri!
- You think you're Rihanna?
- No.
Fondue.
No, fondue. Fondue, it's a Swiss...
- Fundoo!
- Nywisss.
- [speaking indistinctly]
- Never mind.
You're disrespectful.
- Bye!
- Move!
- Let's get out of here.
- Yeah.
[officers] Next!
[upbeat music playing over car stereo]
[both greeting in Zulu excitedly]
[yelling and vocalizing excitedly]
- [women shrieking and giggling]
- [Julian vocalizing]
- [in English] You look so good, girl!
- Oh, my God!
Ah!
Julian!
Huh? My bad. Sorry. I was
[chuckling] Just catching a vibe, right
- So, you must be Julian!
- How you doing? Nice to meet you.
Do a little twirl, let's see
what we're working with.
- Now?
- Turn around, turn around.
I feel like a piece of meat. [Chuckles]
[Oluhle inhaling sharply]
Friend
- Mmm! Okay.
- Okay.
Let's let queens do what queens do.
And a man's gotta use his muscles. Come.
[Julian] What'd she call me?
This looks better in real life, friend.
- Because we're bad and boujee!
- Bad and boujee for real!
Open the boot.
- How do I do that?
- Just lift it.
Oh, oh.
- Okay. Okay.
- I'm gonna cut straight to the chase.
[chuckles] You're fine!
Like [sucks teeth]
Double thick chocolate milkshake fine.
But you're not Zola's type.
I'm sure you're lovely, just not her type.
And you guys are getting married
real quickly
Some would say it was in a rush,
but we're not talking about that
I'm watching you.
But for now
Ow.
Welcome to South Ah!
Come on now, hurry up.
Places to go, people to see.
- [engine revving]
- I think I left my stomach back there!
Whoo!
Oh, my God.
This is South Africa.
- How you doing, Zola?
- Hi.
- You happy to be back home?
- Yeah, I am.
[Julian] So, this how
This how y'all be living out here?
Y'all live like y'all in a postcard.
All day, every day. Damn, Zees!
- You didn't tell me this.
- Zees?
- You let him call you Zees?
- No, girl
So what? He calls me Zees, so what?
[Oluhle] "So what?"
I remember when we were in high school,
and the white girls called you Zees,
you were particularly triggered
by such a thing.
And now, when Kendrick Lamar
calls you Zees,
- then it's all good in the hood?
- Just drive, girl. Just drive.
- So, Julie baby
- Yes, ma'am.
Tell me, how did you and Zees
end up together?
'Cause, usually,
I'm in on this stuff, but, um [scatting]
Marriage, hmm?
I'm very curious.
- How we met? You wanna know how we met?
- Mmm.
It's a really interesting story.
Actually, what he means to say
is that we met in culinary school.
[Julian singing blues song]
[humming and scatting]
[Julian] Hello, Atlanta, how you doing?
[vocalizes]
[humming blues tune]
Whoa.
[continues humming]
- [sniffles]
- [Julian continues humming]
- What are you doing?
- My bad. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt
your, uh, moment.
It's Zowla right?
Zola!
Hey, Zola!
I'm Julian. How you doing? [Chuckles]
Excuse me!
No, but for real, though, you good?
Yeah, I'm just out here in the alley,
living the dream. You know, the usual.
The alleyway
Where dreams are born,
hearts are mended.
[man singing indistinctly]
Heh.
What? No, I don't smoke.
Oh, shit, rejected!
I just received the worst news of my life.
I am not in the mood!
Maybe it's a sign, Zola.
You know, in life,
we gotta carve our own path.
Remind me, which part of smoking drugs
in a pissy alley
is carving out your own path.
Hey, easy, RoboCop.
Shit! Narcocorico!
[mutters indistinctly]
Look, I hear you, all right?
You got problems.
I got problems.
He got problems!
[man yelling indistinctly]
But you gotta cheer up.
You gonna get a heart attack.
I've been waiting for this visa
for months now.
Now, this fucking happens. [Sniffles]
Fuck!
Respectfully, I didn't spend
years of my life
studying to become a chef
and working my ass off
to get life advice
from the fucking waitstaff! Thanks.
From the waitstaff?
Damn.
That's your life, Julian. Shit.
You're the waitstaff now.
I was actually her tutor.
I taught her everything she knows,
you feel me? [Laughs]
[mouthing] Turn it off.
[chuckling]
[Zola] Mama! [Exclaims excitedly]
[Zola greeting in Zulu]
[Zola yelling excitedly]
[in English] Oh, my baby.
Oh, how is my chef?
How is my Zozo?
Ma, I missed you so much.
And your cooking.
[both laughing]
Oluhle, my girl!
- [Oluhle] Hello, Mama!
- Hello, my darling.
[Julian] Is this Ma Christina?
Ma Christina? Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.
I can see where Zola gets her charm from,
you feel me?
Ma Christina,
it is an honor to finally meet
Zola's number one!
- How you doing? We good?
- [exclaims]
Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.
You're not a hugger. She's not a hugger.
It's all good. It's all love here!
[in Zulu] Is this our son-in-law?
Let me ask you something.
[in English] Have you accepted the blood
of Jesus Christ in your life, my son?
Oh. Uh
- Are you saved?
- Word? [Chuckles] I mean
I really appreciate your concern
for my spiritual well-being and all that.
- You know, it's...
- It's only a yes or a no!
- Of course it's a yes, Ma. It's a big yes.
- [Julian] Yeah!
- Hey!
- I'm sorry!
[in Zulu] We kick the devil's butt
around here physically!
[chuckles]
[in English] Yeah.
Sorry, you startled me there a bit.
- Amen! Hallelujah! Let's do this!
- [Julian] Yeah.
Praise the lord.
I think a little pee came out.
[Ma Christina in Zulu]
I've missed you so much.
[Zola] Me too, Ma!
[Ma Christina] You can't imagine
what's been going on here
[Zola] Oh, for real?
[Julian] Wow!
[chuckles]
[in English] Damn!
It's like a museum out here.
[whispers] Good luck.
[gasping]
Well, here you are
lovebirds.
Thanks, Ma. Is dad fine with
Us sharing a room?
Zozo, I thought the two of you
are getting married, no?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
Hmm. Oh, Zozo, um,
[in Zulu] there's something I forgot
to tell you about your father.
[in English] He's just been
so very spiritual these days.
[in Zulu] He goes
to these meditation things.
[in English] He may not be able to talk.
Not the way that you are used to.
[in Zulu] So, please be extra patient
with him. Okay, baby?
- [Zola in English] Okay.
- Okay.
Yeah.
[Zola] I wasn't expecting us to
- Share...
- You didn't tell me you're old money rich.
I thought maybe a little cash
or something, but hey,
you're like
Richie Rich, Scrooge McDuck kind of money,
you feel me?
I didn't feel it was important.
We're talking about cash registers
doing the tango every time you move.
That is high-key important information.
You know
I'm wondering thinking
Maybe you holding out on me a little bit.
Might have to bump the cheese up.
- Can we not talk about this right now?
- [Julian chuckles]
[rap music playing]
[Julian] That's right! Westside!
That's right. Westside!
My uncle, bad element.
What? Uncle Baby look pretty cool
to me, man!
Just remember what I said!
Just look at this bed right here,
straight up bigger than my aspirations!
Man! Hey
You ready for a little snuggle fest?
You get the honor
of sleeping on the couch.
Come on, Zee.
Ain't I supposed to be treated
like some Zulu king,
claim that throne right there.
A Zulu king slept on the floor.
- Better for their backs!
- Ow.
Yeah, sure, of course.
Because nothing says "crazy in love"
like separate sleeping arrangements.
Of course.
- Great strategy, Zee.
- [gasps]
[grunts] Hey, chill!
- No, stop!
- Girl, behave! Behave!
- Julian, put me down!
- Chill.
- You gotta relax! Chill!
- [Ma Christina] Are you two ready to
Just fluffing. Sorry.
Fluffing my pillow
because my neck was sore.
Yeah, she was up and down with diarrhea.
It was crazy.
She made an impression
on a lot of passengers.
[Ma Christina] Zozo, my baby.
You know you get like this
every time you fly.
So, that was you?
[Ma Christina] I'll make you
that special soup for your tummy.
- I'm fine, Mama!
- [grunts]
[in Zulu] Okay, enough with
all the romance, guys. Let's go.
[in English]
Everybody is excited to see you.
How's your tummy, Zozo?
- Hey, behave!
- No, you behave!
Hey, don't let a fart sneak out.
You gotta chill!
[piano music playing]
Did I ever tell you I have Tourette's?
Like when I'm nervous and around people,
I'm like [babbling]
[Zola] Why didn't you tell me that?
[in Zulu] Bu-rn-the-fat!
[exclaiming]
[in English] What's going on?
- It's going down!
- Let's see if these bones still work!
They're working. Okay!
Oh! My God.
Don't worry.
Come on!
Catch up!
Why do we do this?
[grunting]
Why is she so strong? My God!
- Look at you!
- [laughing]
So strong! So tough!
Come on with it!
You want a bit of this? You want a taste?
No. My shoulder's out.
And my knees too, man.
Head and shoulders, knees and toes.
Gugitis!
- Googina?
- [man] We call it gugitis.
- [Julian] Gugitis?
- Yeah, in South Africa.
- It means you're getting old.
- Word. I feel it.
This is my brother, Sanele.
- Hey, what's good, my brother?
- [Sanele] I'm good, baby!
Good. Yeah.
- This is his lovely wife, Linda.
- Hi.
- It's Linda!
- Oh.
How you doing?
- Pleasure to meet you.
- You, too! Love it.
US bae! He's handsome.
She said he'd be handsome.
- She said I'm handsome?
- I mean
You said I'm handsome!
You didn't tell me that.
Thank you for coming to the ceremony.
It means so much to us.
[Linda] We appreciate it so much.
Yeah, it means a lot
to the ancestors, too.
Thokoza.
How long are you guys staying?
That's that's Linda?
Your sister The witch...
- Which kind of sangoma would she be?
- Which kind
Which kind of sangoma is she?
- Yeah!
- Our kind of sangoma!
Our kind.
Our sangoma!
Or shaman.
Or as I like to say it
[in posh accent] shaman.
Oh! That's nice! I like that.
- Right?
- It's nice. Shaman.
Shaman.
It's French!
Shaman!
It's more than just a calling, hey, babes?
Sometimes, it's more like a
A loud shout.
Whoa.
[growls]
We're at
- The connect.
- [grunts]
[Linda growls intensely]
[hoarsely] Linda!
[in Zulu] Great one. Greetings.
[in English, hoarsely]
We have gifts for you.
[grunting]
[Julian] Dope.
Wow.
- [in Zulu] Greetings.
- Greetings.
[in English] That's amazing.
A new profound
- This journey is a deep thing, man.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, very deep.
- [Linda] Spiritual.
[bell dinging]
[woman] Look who's having a little gossip
without inviting me.
- And this is?
- [Zola] Julian.
Uh, yeah. I'm Julian. Nice
[in Zulu] No, I'm fine.
[in English] Mrs Mrs. Tselle
- Cele!
- Cele
- [clicking tongue]
- [Julian] Ncele?
It's Cele.
TsellTselle?
[in Zulu] Teach him!
- [Julian, in English] Tchele.
- Cele.
Zola speaks so much about you, Mrs
Wow, that's so nice.
I hope it was all the high praises
of a loving daughter.
Yeah! She speaks so highly of you.
And your achievements! So highly.
And what exactly
do you do for a living, Julian?
- [Julian] Me?
- [Zola] Yes, what is it?
- What do you do?
- He's a chef.
A sous chef.
At a very fancy restaurant.
[trashy punk rock blaring]
[bell tolls]
[bell dings]
[bell dings]
- [bell dings]
- [Zola] Table four.
- Wait, why would you put those there?
- It's the sink.
Cap.
- Ital
- Huh?
lia. Capitalia.
- Capitalia.
- [Julian] Ah!
The amazing Capitalia.
It's an Italian restaurant.
- It's very Italiano.
- Yeah, it's new.
[Julian] It's the hottest
new joint in Atlanta.
- Yeah.
- Oh. All right.
Two passionate creatives
in a rushed marriage spells
Recipe for disast...
- For success!
- Success, definitely the word.
- She wanted to say "recipe for success".
- What else could it be?
[laughing]
[all laughing awkwardly]
[inhales deeply, exclaims]
Hello, Ma!
[in Zulu] Hi, Zo! No, a hug is regular.
[in English] Please don't.
You know I don't like hugging.
Look, I have to get going.
However, I have made a booking
for all of us.
Tonight. Exclusive dinner.
I'm sure the two of you
would highly enjoy.
That sounds great, Ma, but we're so tired.
[Zola] Tired?
Jet-lagged. So, maybe
we can move it to tomorrow?
[in Zulu] Don't you dare
take me for granted, Zola!
[in English] You are not
going to do it tomorrow.
You are going to do it today
because you are not tired.
You cannot be tired.
Postpone that jet lag of yours
till tomorrow.
This is a family dinner.
You are going to be there, all of you.
7:00 p.m.
Do not wear that rag on your head.
- [bell tolling]
- I will be SMSing everybody details.
She's still
[both] A block of ice.
- Yeah.
- Yup!
[groovy music playing]
So, you know when people say,
"Relax. Be yourself"?
Don't!
Be someone completely different.
I need another version of you.
Sporty. Business-savvy. Ambitious!
- Ambitious. Got it.
- Yeah?
[Julian grunts]
[music ends]
[breathes shakily]
Oh.
Baba
Can we come in?
- [door creaks]
- Oh.
All right.
Be cool.
[meditation bells chiming softly]
Baba
What's going on?
What is all of this?
Oof.
Is everything okay?
Baba?
[AI voice] Zola, how could you do
something like this to your family?
I can imagine Sanele
running off to get married,
but you've always been so responsible.
Okay, what exactly is happening right now?
[buttons clacking]
[AI voice] Zola, you know
disrespecting your body is one thing,
but disrespecting family and culture
[in Zulu] No ways, Zola!
[in English] Is there no other voice?
Okay, Dad.
Please!
I can explain everything properly later,
but Julian and I, we've made a commitment.
[AI voice] What about
your commitment to family?
[in Zulu] Our traditions.
[in English] By disrespecting that,
you've severed something
very sacred, my child.
[AI voice mispronouncing Zulu]
[somber music playing]
[mouthing]
- [rap music playing]
- What's crack a lack in', dawg?
[laughing]
Uncle Baby, you scared me!
[Uncle Baby] Hey, you Julius?
Zola's ghost?
- Ghost? What do you mean?
- Her boo!
- Yeah, that's right. That's me, Julian.
- Juju.
[in Zulu] Wow, you're big, hey?
But you are still young.
So I'm going to call you Sthandiveli!
[in English] 'Cause you're big
and small at once.
Plus, it rhymes with Makaveli.
- Makaveli?
- Yeah, from your hometown USA.
California!
Atlanta, Georgia. Atlanta.
California love!
Okay.
California lovings
Okay, boy. See you later.
I'll tolerate, as long as you tolerate.
[whispering] Julian. Julian.
Oh, uh
Just remember what I said, okay?
[Julian] Yeah, sure.
Uh Don't be myself.
Remember what I said!
- Don't be myself.
- Good.
Dad, this is Julian.
Julian, this is my dad.
[sputters] Mr. Tselle?
- How do you say it?
- [Zola] Cele.
I'm gonna just call you "Sir."
It is a pleasure to meet you, sir.
That's right, baby!
[AI voice] Perhaps we can stick
to a simpler handshake next time.
[Julian] Pops on that AI, huh?
Yeah vow of silence, apparently.
I'm I'm sorry, sir. This is just
It's wild! I mean
It's like a haven of literature.
A fountain of knowledge.
[AI voice in Zulu] Is this guy
of yours still talking?
Dad, please.
- [Julian, in English] Wow, what...
- [banging on desk]
I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry. I just
Before meeting you,
I looked up all kinds of Zulu culture.
The houses, the food, the dances.
It's amazing, I can't believe
Huh?
- Is that...
- No.
- No.
- Here?
No, you don't have to do that.
I could. I could bust a move.
No. Please don't.
Please don't.
- And then, they do the [ululates]
- No [sighs]
[stomps]
[Julian] Yeah.
Uh [chuckles]
It's not exactly traditional,
you know what I'm sayin'?
[AI voice] Embarrassment
is a humbling reminder
that we are flawed beings
[Julian] "Capable of both
triumph and stumble."
That's that Bodhisattva, right?
I'm sorry, man.
This is like some Indiana Jones thing.
I mean, how do you even get books
this old?
Okay, this was nice and cute,
but we need to head upstairs to unpack.
[Julian] So, he's not your baby uncle?
He's the last-born
and my grandparents named him Baby.
So, baby uncle name is Uncle Baby?
Baby uncle name
Is Uncle Baby
Baby uncle name is Uncle Baby
Baby uncle name is Uncle Baby
That's a tongue twister
right there! [Laughs]
[Zola] If you need anything ironed,
just let me know.
We have to dress to impress tonight.
Yeah, I think this is gonna do the trick.
Yeah, I'm gonna make
a lasting impression tonight.
That's not something I would pick out.
You just wait and see, girl.
I'm gonna look so dapper in this fit,
you'll be wondering
how you ever found yourself a
A sexy, little chocolate yum-yum
at a greasy diner, baby!
No! Julian, we never mention anything
about the diner, okay? Ever!
- All right.
- The diner does not exist.
You and I, we met at a fancy restaurant.
We work at a fancy restaurant. You got it?
Got you. Viva Capitalia!
Capitalia, baby! I got you!
- Exactly.
- Viva Capitalia!
Baby uncle name
Is Uncle Baby
Baby uncle name is Uncle Baby
Ooh-whee.
What we got here?
[sniffing]
What is that?
[intriguing music playing]
Oh, that's pineapples.
Oh, yeah.
Uh
I left something
real important downstairs.
- I'm gonna be right back, okay?
- [Zola] We leave in two hours.
[Julian] Yeah, I got it. Two hours.
[continues sniffing]
[chuckling] Ambience.
Yeah, let's see
where this rabbit hole goes.
[continues sniffing]
[exclaims]
[old school rap blasting from speakers]
My California gangsta!
Welcome to the Thug Passion Mansion!
[Julian] It's quite a setup you got here.
Shoot, it's like a shrine!
Look at this!
Obviously, I couldn't resist the aromas.
You know what I'm talking about?
And it's the aroma that has led you here
- to my cave.
- That's right.
You see, Sthandiveli, a cave
is very important to a man.
This one here, I call it my Bat Cave!
[Julian laughing]
It's my pride and joy.
[in Zulu] Here, have a taste.
[in English] Man,
I don't wanna be rude, but
If you insist, then okay!
God! These are some
These are some good-ass cookies!
These are dope. Bet!
Thank you.
- Sthandiveli
- Hmm?
exactly how long have you
and my niece, Zola, been together?
Because this wedding story
blindsided us like a surprise party!
Zola and I
We met through work.
It's kinda like fate
brought us together, you know?
- [clinking nearby]
- She a good-ass chef, too!
- [music slows down]
- Is it me or is it getting like
[distorted voice] a little intense?
[normal voice] Intense.
That's love!
But, it's tricky.
That's that ying-yang love!
Made in China, buddy!
There's a billion Chinese people,
you can't tell me that they're all wrong!
It's got to be right!
[speaking Zulu]
[Zola in English] Isn't there
somewhere you need to be?
And miss meeting my new cousin-in-law?
Absolutely not.
You can meet him later.
We're here for a while.
- Or I can meet him now.
- Or later.
- Or I could meet him now.
- Or later.
Or now.
[mumbling tune]
[sultry boss a nova soundtrack plays]
Damn.
- [music stops]
- [Zola] Julian?
- Hmm?
- This is my cousin, Palesa.
Ah. The infamous Julian.
Your reputation precedes you.
- Infamous? Who
- [music resumes]
Who said that? Who's talking?
You said that? Why?
- Julian.
- Huh?
- [music stops]
- Oh.
Oh. My bad. I'm sorry.
Uh Hi. Wow.
Uh, pleasure to meet you, Palesa.
It's a nice face Uh, name!
Nice name nice name you got there.
Everything else is lovely, too.
Aw. Cute.
Zola here always had the knack
for finding
Unique things.
I guess I'm very blessed.
Thankfully, I don't treat them
like trophies.
Yet you always seem to come up short.
That's rich coming from the woman who's
swooning over my high school leftovers.
Your claim to Neo expired in school,
with your hairline.
Julian, did I ever tell you that Palesa
was in a dance competition in high school?
- What?
- Yeah, Neo was her partner.
[groovy music playing]
They came in last.
Now you're the dancer?
Just waltzing in
with a convenient new passport bae.
[man]
Reunited, and it feels so good!
God, what is happening?
Zozo!
- Big Head!
- How are you doing, my girl.
All right, let's break it up!
Okay, isn't this a cozy little reunion?
Dude, despite seeing you online
all the time,
I'm just still shocked
at the sheer magnitude.
[chuckles] That's what she said!
My queen.
Looking stunning as ever, my goodness.
You must be the lucky guy.
Is it Jill?
Hmm?
- Julie?
- [Julian] Who that?
- Jillian!
- Julian.
- [clicks tongue]
- [laughs]
Sorry. Sorry, mate!
Thought you had yourself
a bit of a lady name.
How's it? Come in for the hug, brother!
It's the hug thing? All right.
Thanks, Noddy! Thank you.
Neo.
Like the Matrix, bruh. Yeah!
- That's where you get the hair from?
- Okay, Aunty Jemima. Thank you.
Uh, Zola says y'all was dancing
in high school.
Y'all were dancers in high school.
Y'all must have been quite the pair.
You should have seen it.
We were on fire!
- Cooking, boy!
- How it go?
We were the dynamic duo
on the dance floor.
[whooping]
Could've won, but
- Affirmative action and all that.
- [Julian] No.
Yeah, bro. But the moves were tight.
Is your man on the
- Your man was on the floor.
- All right, that's enough.
[mumbling tune]
And Palesa, she was looking like Omarion.
Touch!
[grunting rhythmically]
[hard-hitting trap beat playing]
What's happening here?
[imperceptible]
[music ends]
[chattering indistinctly]
Naledi, darling, look at you!
Always giving us a look.
- That soup was really good.
- Lovely.
- You don't want some more?
- No, I'm good. Thanks. I'm stuffed.
But it's also an acquired taste.
It's a palate thing.
When you're used to
You're used to, like, basics.
I wouldn't say basic, love, but
I mean, you're a Cornish pie guy.
- I'm more like a steak guy.
- Steak and kidney kind of guy, yeah.
Wow, really?
- I see you brought the whole family.
- I didn't.
- Okay.
- My beloved daughter, Zola,
is in the same industry as you.
She's cheffing,
cooking for people in America.
So, I thought maybe you could hook her up
with some high-end establishment here.
Don't worry, Mom, I already have a job,
so you don't need to "hook" me up
with anyone.
Yes, you keep on saying, Zola.
[in Zulu] I meant something concrete.
[in English] Something that we can
actually see. A real job.
A real job? Ma'am? I'm sorry.
- You need to see us working. We work!
- Uh, Flava?
- [Flava] Mmm.
- [Zola] Actually,
- your fufu gnocchi
- [Flava] Hmm.
was surprisingly quite bland.
- Yeah but it's the...
- Don't do it.
So, there's that!
[Julian]
This maff soup right here, though.
Boy, get out of here, man! [Laughs]
- [smacks lips]
- [Zola] Eh
Mine was cold.
Well, our maff soup is a take
on the classic vichyssoise.
It's meant to be cold.
[exclaims] Flava a little spicy.
He said Versace soup. [Chuckles]
[chattering indistinctly]
Wow.
Naledi
You are radiant.
You're more breathtaking
every time I see you.
[Naledi chuckles]
[whispers indistinctly]
- Did you just see what I saw?
- [waiter speaks indistinctly]
[man] Excuse-moi.
- I trust everyone is doing okay?
- [Flava] Hmm.
- [Linda] Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, everything is just
- [Julian] Lekker!
- [Zola] Peachy!
This is the owner of our restaurant.
Join us, Emeka.
I just finished giving them a tour of our
ground-shaking, boundary-breaking,
breathtaking menu.
[scattered clapping]
So, lovers [chuckles awkwardly]
Don't you guys mind enticing us
with your story of your union?
- Mmm. That's very exciting.
- Yes, please do tell.
I am particularly curious to hear about
this surprise wedding,
how it just popped up
in the middle of visa problems.
Quite convenient.
- [Neo] Hmm.
- God is good all the time.
And all the time...
God, does your mouth not stop moving?
Like I was saying,
how did you propose, Julie baby?
- [Julian] Hmm? [Chuckles]
- Come on, spill the tea. Spill the tea.
How we proposed?
Man, Let me tell you something. Heh.
It is like something out of a poetry book.
- [loud hip-hop music playing]
- [laughing]
[Julian grunts]
- Julian.
- [coughing]
- Hmm?
- Would you marry me?
What?
We're talking super-romantic stuff.
You feel me?
We both could get what we need.
- Huh?
- We would both get what we need!
- We need? "Need"?
- Yes!
I know what you need, to go sleep!
- That's what the fuck you need right now.
- No! No!
- [laughs]
- I know what you need, Julian.
- No, you don't!
- Yes, I do!
No! What do I need?
Cash.
How much?
We talkin'
- late night walks on the beach.
- [Zola] Mmm-hmm.
Horse in the stable.
- [horse neigh echoes]
- Ooh!
[Julian] Doves! All that good stuff.
- Serenade.
- [Julian] Music.
- Beautiful songs.
- [Neo] Beautiful.
Uh, balconies and all that.
- [Neo] Balcony?
- Yeah.
Zo. Balcony?
Sorry?
Balco-knees?
- Remember Durban?
- [gasps and chuckles]
- Neo!
- [Neo] Yeah,
some crazy balconies there, eh?
Stop, Neo!
Sorry, babe.
We were talking about architecture.
- We were there watching the...
- Reel that in!
[Neo] It's just a memory
we had back in the day.
[Julian] Zo, why's he smiling like that?
Nothing, we were just watching
some dolphins.
- Ma?
- [Zola] Huh?
When is Dad joining us?
Oh.
[in Zulu] No, my child.
[in English] Your father
is on this Shaka Buddha thing.
At least tonight we don't need to deal
with his pseudo-guru blabbering.
[chuckling]
[Flava] People and gentle people,
behold, the pice de rsistance!
- Wow.
- Ooh.
Ah, look at that, Julian.
The crab came dressed as you.
[all laughing]
[Naledi] And you must be Ariel.
- [Sanele, in Jamaican accent] Ya, man!
- [Neo speaking indistinctly]
Ya, man!
[Oluhle] All right!
I think this is the perfect time
for us to make a toast.
- [Linda] Yes.
- To fashion risks and seafood bliss!
La familia.
Yes, la familia.
- Cheers.
- La familia.
Nobody's going to cheers me?
- Julian?
- Oh, yeah.
I think you look very dapper, actually.
Thank you, ma'am. You have good taste.
Can you spell dapper,
that's the question, right? [Chuckles]
Ariel wants her weave back, okay?
Have you ever watched that movie
Bears on Cocaine? [Chuckles]
- [Oluhle] What?
- [Julian] I look like that?
[distorted] To wonderful meals.
- [chattering indistinctly]
- Oh, that was delicious.
I do?
- Yeah.
- [chattering indistinctly]
- [Neo] It's a very interesting dynamic.
- [imperceptible]
- That's Pomponmousse de Amour.
- Sounds more like [imitates babbling]
[distorted laughter echoing]
Is it me or is it a little hot?
- [Oluhle] Definitely a you-problem, girl!
- [distorted chatter continues]
[ominous music playing]
[Emeka] Naledi has made
a great contribution to my business.
[both laughing]
- Just a simple, cheesy
- Yeah.
- Oui, oui.
- Oui, oui.
I see you're a creative. Nice suit.
No.
I'm an artist, you know?
So, you're not a chef?
Nah, I'm a
Tell me more.
The camera is my paintbrush.
Yeah.
So, how do you pay the bills?
- [distorted chatter continues]
- [Emeka] I just know that, you know
I work in a diner.
[Zola] No!
[Naledi] Is that my child?
- Are you okay?
- Do something!
- I can't! I'm too drunk.
- [Julian] She needs ice! Get ice!
How much alcohol did this child have?
[ominous music playing]
[rumbling]
[imperceptible]
[ominous music continues playing]
[imperceptible]
[scats] Breakfast is served,
ladies and gentlemen!
I got corn, I got biscuits.
Take your pick! What you want, baby?
I got you!
No, whoa, wait. You can't be serious,
those are not biscuits.
- Those are scones.
- Definitely scones!
[Julian] What's that?
Sounds like a back problem.
- That's a biscuit.
- [Oluhle] Hello, sunshine! She's alive!
Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty!
Zola, darling, you know
that you be missing all the fun?
Your sweet fianc has just been
fattening us up with all this soul food.
[laughs awkwardly]
[in posh accent] Breakfast of champs!
- I like that.
- Don't worry, darling.
This is all alcohol-free.
Alcohol just doesn't align
with my spirit anymore.
[in Zulu, then English]
My ancestors said, "No!" Yeah.
That's why Sanny and I
couldn't come last night.
I've become so sensitive
to people's energies.
And of course, he wouldn't go without me.
Of course.
Yesterday, you looked like a zombie!
Real feral. It was wild. [Imitates shriek]
I actually thought
maybe your face was little wild, too.
I was like, "Oh, shit! God!"
It was crazy!
He means to say
maybe you should eat something.
- Yeah, good idea.
- [Linda] Yeah, dig in.
Yeah, Zo.
I heard about the seafood incident.
How are you? Are you all right?
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
[Palesa] Isn't it fishy that only you
reacted that way? Mmm?
Could someone just pass me some H20.
- [Palesa] And you
- There you go.
You weren't being very intimate
or nurturing last night, were you, Julian?
What? Me?
Look at Zola,
you could give her a kiss.
Make her feel better.
- Aw.
- [Palesa] Hey, Zola?
Why not?
A kiss? Yeah, I mean
Yeah! See?
Reminds us of me and you.
- Oh.
- Look at that.
[mumbles indistinctly]
- Mmm!
- Mmm!
[Palesa] So cute.
[softly] They'll get married
and have little babies.
Okay, maybe we should
- All right.
- Yeah.
[Linda chuckles] Whoa!
[Palesa] Come on, you guys,
a little bit more passion!
[in Zulu] Palesa, don't be forward. Chill.
You're way too forward!
[in English] Everybody, to Julian,
my new brother!
Thank you so much, the chef,
for giving us a taste of your home.
[in Zulu] This is the stuff! Lezi yizinto!
- [In English] What?
- Lezi yizinto.
- Le-zee-zin-toes?
- Yeah.
- Lezeezimtoes?
- Welcome to the family!
Thank you! Thank you so much, brother!
Look, man, I just feel like
if I can bring y'all to Atlanta,
I might as well bring Atlanta to y'all.
Bring the south to the South, baby!
You feel me? Yeah!
- Lezi lezizon
- Lezi yizinto!
- Lezizintow, ain't that it?
- Lezi yizinto!
- That's right!
- Excuse me.
Lezizintow.
- To soul food!
- [Julian] To soul food!
Yeah, that's right!
- [grunting]
- [Julian] Oh, oh.
- We connecting! We connecting!
- Okay.
[Julian hesitates]
[Naledi] I thought I told you
not to contact me during
[Naledi laughs]
No. [Chuckles]
[Naledi laughing]
No, you're not gonna send
- No, no, no
- [Zola] Ma?
- Mom!
- Huh?
[hesitates] Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
[clears throat]
- Yes, Zola?
- Who were you talking to?
Oh. [Scoffs]
Nothing important, just work stuff.
You know how stupid they can be.
[in Zulu] No, man, you startled me.
Why are you creeping around?
[in English]
That didn't sound like work to me.
[scoffs]
I saw you last night with Emeka.
Mom, what is going on?
[in Zulu] No man, Zola.
[in English] Besides, last night
you were in no position to think clearly.
[in Zulu] You were drunk.
- [In English] Are you joking?
- What exactly do you want me to say?
- Ma, stop lying.
- I'm not lying!
[scoffing] Zola, Zola, Zola.
My child, you know,
I don't understand you.
You are always trying to ruin surprises.
There's no fun in your department.
Fine.
You've caught me out. I, um
I was planning
I was secretly planning a getaway
For you and whatchamacall?
You know?
[in Zulu] Your person.
[in English, then Zulu] It was supposed
to be a surprise, but now
[in English] Poof, it's out.
What?
Yes, come here, baby girl.
Come.
[in Zulu] Listen, sweetie.
[in English] This was supposed
to be my way
of trying to show you how much I care
[in Zulu] about you and Julian,
you get me?
[in English] I wanted to gift you guys
with some unforgettable memories.
[in Zulu] Go on a baecation type thing
[Naledi laughs]
My child
[in English] Quite honestly,
I was just trying to reconnect.
Like the old times. Mmm?
Come here.
[mellow music playing]
Yeah, that's great.
- No, we weren't.
- Yeah, you were. You were. [Laughs]
No, we were not.
[softly] Yeah.
- Enjoy your stay, Mr. and Mrs. Green.
- Thank you, sir. Thank you.
Yup, very exciting.
You'll get used to it.
[Julian exhales]
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
[laughing excitedly]
[hip-hop music playing]
What?
Whoo! [Laughs]
Look at this place right here! Mmm!
[playing piano chords]
Man, I can't believe
what the hell I'm seeing out here.
Hello.
Nope, hay fever.
I ain't gonna touch that. [Cackling]
What we got here?
Oh, my God!
Ah, that's right.
[clicks tongue]
Wow.
It's so beautiful, man.
It's like something out of a dream.
Mzansi, come through, baby!
Come through, baby!
I've never been
this close to the ocean before.
Yeah, it's pretty, huh?
This probably a good time
to take some of those
Fake couple photos.
- For your green card application.
- Yeah.
- Actually, that's a good idea.
- Yeah? Cool.
We'll do it with your phone? Okay.
- You wanna take it or you're good?
- No, go for it. Yeah.
- How you wanna do it?
- I mean, we you're not with
- Yeah? Yeah.
- Put my hand on your chest.
- Just to show the ring. Sure.
- Yeah?
Okay.
- Uh, okay.
- [camera shutter clicks]
- Oh, that's actually quite nice.
- Yeah, it is.
- It's really nice.
- It is.
Should Let me put my arm around you.
- Yeah, sure. Why not? Yeah.
- Yeah.
- That works.
- Yeah?
Sorry, I gotta get down. [Chuckles]
You're so short.
- Is this okay?
- Yeah.
- [camera shutter clicks]
- [Zola chuckles]
- That's nice.
- It is, right?
- Okay, another one? Should we do another?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Little prom pose?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- [upbeat music playing over speakers]
- Chopping up some mushrooms!
- Pull it back, pull it back.
- Pull what back?
Gotta pull the vibe back.
- Gotta catapult that shit. Whoo!
- No. No. No!
- [Zola chuckles]
- [laughs]
Zola!
Why you always so serious? Come on!
Because I'm trying to make us some food.
Okay, yeah,
but why you gotta do it like that?
Come on, Zola,
you gotta vibe with me a bit!
Are you drunk?
No! Me? I don't get drunk.
You gotta chill!
You chopping them mushrooms so serious.
What they do to you? Hmm?
Hmm-mmm.
It smells good in here,
I ain't even gonna lie. Ooh.
[Julian grunts]
I won't lie, I didn't come all the way
to Africa to listen to shit I know.
Okay.
So, miss host, if you don't mind,
could you please
Play some local flavors?
- Okay, you want local flavors?
- That'd be nice.
- Hmm. Let me school you.
- Okay.
- Let me school you on some local flavors.
- We in class now. Now we cooking!
- [laughs]
- [grunts] Masterclass!
- [dance music playing over speakers]
- How's that?
- Okay!
- That's original South African flavor!
- Man, this is a beat right here!
- Mmm-hmm!
Ooh!
- Ooh!
- [laughing]
Feel like I'm washing the car
with this one here.
[laughs]
What's that dance move called?
It's called washing the car.
I'm washing the windscreen!
[both laughing]
This makes you wanna move your hips.
Wanna move your hips?
- Hey-hey, chillax.
- No.
Zola, please relax.
Don't be a traffic light.
- Or a robot. What you call it?
- I am not a robot!
Okay, so let's see them hips move, baby.
Come on. You gotta
I'm gonna be your instructor. You gotta
- Show me! Let me see what you got!
- Okay!
Move it.
- Back with me.
- Okay.
- I got the vibe, I got the move.
- Yeah, I see it.
- Oh. Oh. Okay, okay. Oh!
- Oh!
- Whoo!
- Oh, my gosh! Julian!
[both laughing]
- You are crazy!
- Ow.
- [laughing]
- You don't know me!
- What?
- You are so dumb!
You don't know me, girl!
That's nice.
What?
This.
Shit! Something's burning!
Oh. Oh, snap! Uh
[Julian grunting]
[Julian coughing]
- Oh, my God.
- [both laughing]
It's getting a little hot in here, huh?
When my dad passed,
it put me at a crossroads, you know?
Do I drop out of college,
help my mom pay the bills,
make some sacrifices,
or do I stay true
To myself
And follow my dreams?
[chuckles] I guess
family comes first, right?
But, I mean, you can still go back, right?
[laughs] Nah! It don't look like it.
It don't look like it at all.
I think I'm just gonna focus
on my video art. You know?
I got pretty cool ideas.
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Are you ever gonna show me?
- You?
Yeah.
[scoffs] Nah.
- Why?
- [hesitates] Nah.
- No!
- Why?
You?
[scoffs]
Nah, nah. No.
I just never expected
to find myself in this situation
let alone find someone like you
to help me.
Somebody like me? What do you mean?
Like, suave? Dapper?
Handsome?
Real super sexy.
- I'm talking like delicious!
- Uh
- Thick!
- Not really.
- Thickums!
- I mean I guess
Someone who can walk into a room and
Bring sunshine.
[laughing]
Or maybe it's just the wine talking.
Girl! Girl!
I knew you had a little poetry
in you. Huh?
A little
[laughing]
I can see through all that robotic
- Stuck up, just stiff, hard shoulders
- Stuck up? Okay. Okay.
- Just boxy.
- All right. I get it. Okay, I get it!
- [chuckles]
- I'm kidding. I'm playing.
I'm playing.
And, uh
Thank you.
Zee, can I can I kiss you?
On the cheek! On the cheek.
Just
Or
[hesitates] Sorry.
Yeah?
Maybe you can sleep on the bed tonight.
But we just have to have
a Great Wall of China with pillows.
- [chuckling] Yeah.
- [chuckles]
Yeah.
Yeah.
Beijing.
[hesitates] China.
[knocking on door]
[grunts]
Surprise!
Aw.
- [whispering] Hey.
- [Julian mumbling]
We couldn't resist joining you lovers
- on your little romantic getaway.
- Oh.
Soon as I found out,
I booked us a shuttle.
Yeah, it's been too long for you lovers
to come and hide away here at the coast.
We could all do with a bit of
quality time, am I right?
Right. Right.
- Juliano! My man!
- [Julian grunts]
[both grunting]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, okay, okay!
- [laughs]
[Neo] We couldn't resist
the allure of the sun and the surf.
Ah! Looks like you guys
had a very cozy sleep.
[Neo] Oh,
what's been going on here, eh?
A little bit of that
- Just a little sleep.
- [Neo] A bit of that [scats]
Just sleep, brah. Come on, man.
You can't play like that. Come on.
[all laughing]
So, where are you guys staying?
[Palesa] Right here.
- Sorry, what?
- Right here, silly-billy!
[vocalizes and laughs]
So, you two dirty bums
get yourselves in the shower.
While you're there, we'll go to the shop,
get some charcoal for a nice beach braai.
- Yeah.
- Sounds fantastic.
[Julian] Uh, yeah, sounds good.
- Jazzman?
- You like jazz?
[Neo] Oh, brother, do I like jazz?
- Let me show you what I got!
- Thought you were
[imitates piano playing jazz tune]
Palesa! Hey, come get your maestro.
Hey, Palesa!
- Good job, baby!
- [Neo grunts in pain]
[laughing] Catch you later.
[Julian] Don't embarrass me
with these fancy people.
Please.
Flame on! Come on!
Aw! Shame, man! [Chuckles]
What's wrong, bro, eh?
You need some gasoline?
Let me show you
proper South African style.
All right. Great.
This is a spiritual experience,
you gotta align your chakras. Deep breath!
[breathes deeply]
- Mmm.
- Know what I'm saying? Deep!
Then you gotta get down,
like a ruck! [Grunts]
Right? Slide that boy in there.
[blowing]
It's not working right now.
[Julian] Performance issues?
- Is that happening?
- No, no, no!
Okay, step aside.
Needs a woman's touch.
- See? Fire.
- [blows raspberry]
- Wow, Zo.
- That is scary.
You never cease to amaze me, babe!
Is there anything you can't do?
Oh, please! There's lots she can't do!
All she did was light a fire. Big whoop!
Know what they say about a woman
who's good with a fire?
- What?
- Huh?
- What do they say?
- I don't know.
- No, tell us! What do they say?
- [Neo hesitating]
- More like a question than a statement.
- Ah. Mmm.
Like, "What came first?
The egg or the chicken? Bacon? Pig?"
Okay, Caveman One and Two,
just sit down before you hurt yourselves!
I ain't gonna hurt myself this time.
Besides, it's not like we see Palesa
breaking a sweat to be helpful.
Oh, come on, this is heavy!
It's really heavy.
Oh, this that
What y'all call this? Babooty?
- Hmm? Bobotie.
- Babooty, that's what I said.
- Bobotie.
- Babooty.
- Bobotie.
- Babooty!
- Bobotie.
- Babooty, babooty!
- Bobotie.
- That's what I said!
Okay. But I'm not surprised
that you'd be tickled by "babooty."
[titters] Babooty.
I know someone called Babooty.
Who, your mom?
Wow! Like that?
[all chattering indistinctly]
You
Me? No.
[all laughing and chattering]
Nah.
- [Julian] You ever go fishing?
- [Zola] Yeah.
- [Julian]What'd you catch?
- [Zola] Kob.
Hmm. Snoek.
- [Julian] Snoek?
- Yeah.
- [Julian] That sounds delicious.
- You haven't tasted it?
I don't think so.
[Zola] I should make you some.
[Julian] I'd love that.
Oh, man, this is so beautiful.
I feel so calm.
[Zola chuckles] I know what you mean.
[Julian] And right now,
I feel more connected to my dad
than I have in a long time.
My pops used to take me
to a seafood market.
Every Sunday.
And he would always get his crabs
from Mr. Woo, right?
Mr. Woo had the best crab.
The biggest crab!
So good!
And, um, yeah, I just
I miss it.
You wanna go crab fishing?
[Zola] Yeah.
[Julian] I think we should.
[Zola] First president of Mozambique?
Samora Machel.
- [Zola] Yes!
- [Julian] Okay, yeah.
14th century emperor of the Mali empire?
He was super wealthy!
- Mansa Musa.
- Yes!
- Africa's Che Guevara?
- Sankara, baby!
- Full name.
- Thomas Sankara!
This African country was Rhodesia.
It was called Rhodesia.
- Zimbabwe.
- Time! Time! Time!
- [Zola cheering]
- [Julian exclaiming]
Okay, lovebirds.
- Can we go over the rules one more time?
- Just listen.
Okay, highest mountain in Africa.
It's known for its snowy peak.
Um, Mount Everest.
[Palesa] What? No, that's in Asia.
Sorry, um
It's fine, next one.
Smart guy, he's got big hair.
Known for creating
the theory of relativity.
- Ah, Einstein!
- Yes, finally!
- Okay.
- [grunting vigorously]
- [yelling cry]
- [both exclaim]
No, stay with me.
Stay with me.
It's an easy one.
City of Love, capital of France.
Love.
- Love, love, love!
- Love, love, love!
Croissants!
- What?
- What?
Neo, the capital of France.
Croissant?
- It's Paris, you dumb nut!
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
- Easy!
- Miss Green Card, shut up!
- Excuse me?
- Yo, man. Let's chill.
Let's just calm down. It's only a game.
We good. It's all good.
Just for fun, right?
- Where's that book that I bought you?
- [scoffs]
You know I only listen to audiobooks
and podcasts.
Yeah, that's the problem.
Where did that take you?
Definitely not to Paris. Where's Paris?
Hmm?
Where's Paris, Neo?
Free State.
Hey! What up, partner? Come on, man!
We're killing it out there. What's good?
I just need some space.
You're so embarrassing.
Literally can't take you anywhere.
Yeah, whatever, babe.
If you so much as look at Zola
I will send our sex life
on a one-way ticket to Neverland.
Hey. Capiche?
- But...
- Ah.
Now, stay!
I promise bro, it's nothing.
Just this girl I work with.
We got a little business deal
going on, but
I wish I was getting some.
But, hey, you know,
it's just strictly professional.
Strictly professional.
[suspenseful music playing]
- Boo!
- [Julian screams and exclaims]
- You following me?
- Julian, oh, Julian.
The question is why you're hiding
like a squirrel with a secret.
Can't a brother talk to his people
on the phone without being spied on?
Where would the fun be in that?
Besides, your secrets seem a little
too good to miss. You're so
Secretive. So mysterious!
You gonna hit this
or you gonna keep spying on me?
I was just talking to my homies.
- Your homies?
- Yeah.
And what about the girl
that you struck a business deal with?
- Is that Zola?
- Huh?
I'm just intrigued. It's all just
A lot to swallow.
[hesitates]
[chuckles awkwardly] Look,
I know that you and Zola
got your little long-running beef okay.
I just You I just
Could you just leave me out of it, please?
- Please.
- Do you think I'm hot?
- Huh?
- It's okay to admit it.
[whispers] I can keep a secret.
[hesitating] Ain't nothing to tell!
Oh, Come on, Julian. I heard everything.
- What?
- And I've seen you with Zola. Admit it.
Look, me and Zola
- really love each other.
- Yeah.
And
In fact, our pastor told us
all about temptation.
- All this right here. This is temptation.
- [chuckles]
Look, Julian, anyone who knows Zola
knows that the two of you are fake.
How fake, I had no idea
until that phone call.
Jeez, Julian, you're about to burst!
Man, I was just trying to talk
to my friends. It's not like
- Look, it's okay.
- I don't like how this feels.
- I felt the tension between us.
- What you mean?
I know you want me.
[scoffs in disbelief]
Huh. [Chuckles]
You crossing lines, huh?
You crossing the line,
that's what you're doing.
You know what? You're right.
In fact, I think we both crossed the line
And for my part, I am so, so sorry.
Okay, yeah.
- Mmm-hmm.
- Yeah.
And I appreciate your understanding,
but can we just keep this
between ourselves?
I mean, I don't wanna stress out Neo.
- [hesitates] You know how he is.
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
- You know? [Chuckles awkwardly]
Is that good?
You've got nothing to worry about.
I've never been one to cause a scene.
[ominous music playing]
So this how it's gonna be?
Silent treatment.
Nice. Mature.
Very mature.
I must warn you, I am a pro
at this whole charades thing. You know?
I can mime my way through
an entire conversation if I need to.
Um
It's really cold in here.
Do you mind turning the AC off, please?
Right.
I thought we could have
a nice adult conversation.
Can we not just drive in silence
like any other fake couple?
I just
I thought we were past this whole
"Ice Queen Zola" thing.
We had such an amazing time.
Now it just feels like
we're back at square one.
Fine.
Let's have the conversation.
You know why we're here, Julian.
Trust and betrayal.
- You and Palesa, I saw you.
- Saw what?
I mean, yeah, she tried!
But I stood my ground.
Ten toes in the dirt, baby!
That's what I did!
Just remember that you're here working.
- You're the hired help.
- Hired help?
I came here to help you, because I care...
No! You came here to make a quick buck!
- I did?
- Yes.
- [laughs] This was your idea.
- But it wasn't my idea to trust you,
then for you to later turn around
and back stab me
- with my cousin in less than 24 hours!
- Nothing happened!
I've been loyal.
Always kept it a G with you,
through your crazy schemes
and your funky-ass attitude!
Just drop it, Julian!
[scoffs]
Can we at least
turn the AC down, please? It's cold!
You know what? Fine! You can turn it up.
Popsicle queen!
I'm gonna tell my mama about this!
You think I'm gonna be out here
dying of hypothermia in Africa?
You must have lost your mind.
Freezing in Africa, can you believe that?
I'm telling my mama.
Oh, my God!
- [Zola's dad exclaiming]
- Oh, no, no! Um
I'm sorry.
[Julian stammers]
Oh, man. [Clears throat]
He gonna kill me.
- I can explain everything.
- [AI voice] What were you thinking?
I just wanted a moment. Please.
You should know better! This library
is a sanctuary of knowledge,
not a den of vices!
I know, I know. Again, I'm so sorry!
[scoffs]
These books, sir, are just so exquisite.
Hlala phansi! Manje!
Could you repeat that? I didn't
I'm gonna sit down.
Yeah.
You have crossed a big line here.
There is more to literature than escapism.
I'm so
So sorry.
I
I felt alone,
and after meeting you
and being in your library, I, uh
It just
It made me feel like my
My pops was still here.
Not literally. Just
You just reminded me of what it felt like.
[softly] Sorry.
I'm deeply sorry about your loss, son.
We have a shared love for words
and a shared love for my daughter.
I like your energy and I forgive you
But don't piss me off!
Just ask me next time.
Okay. Yeah.
I promise it's just a simple,
boring Western handshake.
It's nothing crazy.
[sobbing softly]
[mellow music playing]
I'm sorry I hurt you, Zola.
Nothing happened, I swear!
I'm sorry I caused you all this stress.
[Julian] Where you said we going?
[Uncle Baby] We're on a mission,
Sthandiveli.
We're gonna pick up some cheese!
Today, I'll teach you all I know
about the biscuit business.
Biscuit business?
- Get in the car, boy!
- Here?
Sthandivelli, get in the car!
- Hello, baby!
- Hey, boo-boo.
[Julian] Hey, ma'am.
[in Zulu] Ma'am, my ass!
[in English] Sorry, baby.
I was just teaching him
on the economics of the business.
- Mmm-hmm.
- Sthandiveli, this is my girlfriend.
I call her uGugu
'Cause she makes my heart go "Gugu, gugu."
- Nice to meet you.
- So lovely to meet one of Baby's friends.
He hides them from me, this one!
[Uncle Baby chuckles]
Hmm.
[snickers]
Babe, business is making a killing.
- Right.
- Orders are flying through the roof!
Please double for next week.
[in Zulu] Hey, piss off, man!
I should sort out that nutcase!
This guy's a nutcase!
[in English] I hate that we have to keep
our love a secret.
You're gonna make me cry
in front of another man.
- [in Zulu] I'm gonna see you later?
- [giggles and speaks Zulu]
[in English] Partners in love and crime.
Forever!
Until the end of time.
[both inhale]
[chuckles]
To live and die in SA
[Uncle Baby speaking Zulu]
[in English]
Come on, just light it up!
Light it up and take a puff
Give it to me now!
- Yeah.
- [siren chirps]
- Oh.
- What?
Oh. [Chuckles]
- Do you have any cold drink?
- [Julian] Like Sprite?
I ain't got Now?
- A bribe! Cool drink!
- Shit.
Whoa!
[in foreign language]
So, it's a rasta party?
[in English] Officer, we're just, uh
Two American tourists!
We're just enjoying the motherland.
- Amandla!
- Just do what they say.
You think that fake accent
going to help you?
- I'm sorry.
- Nice try.
- [in Zulu] Search them!
- Wait!
[both yelling excitedly]
[Uncle Baby] We ride together,
we die together!
What are you doing here?
You think you can just stop anywhere?
[Julian yelling in panic]
[distorted yelling]
[distorted yelling continues]
[panting]
- No, you can't just stop here!
- You just can't park there!
- Ma'am?
- Yes?
[in Zulu] Girl?
[Julian and Uncle Baby laughing]
- [men chanting in Zulu]
- [rhythmic drumbeat playing]
There she is.
[in English] Is she really
going to do this?
[all cheering]
[scoffs in disbelief]
Are you effing kidding me, guys? [Shrieks]
I'm supposed to be flying like Beyonc,
not hanging here like a freaking piata!
Why am I getting up?
We're working on fixing it,
just give us a moment.
If I don't start flying
in the next ten seconds,
I'm gonna take these wires
and wrap them around the lot of you!
[shrieking]
[whines]
Not too fast! I wasn't ready!
Maniacs!
Are you saying I have to do this again
when everyone arrives?
[Zola] Oh, no.
No, no, no.
Oh, no! They must have gotten robbed.
They must have gotten robbed.
- Oh, baby!
- Hey, hey.
- Hey. Ow.
- What's happening?
Are you okay? Let me go clean you up.
You must have gotten robbed. Are you okay?
Mommy! [Panting]
Okay.
No, wait. Just wait. Okay?
You can land on me, baby!
Jump!
Jump!
- I don't feel like eating.
- Try a little.
I must say, Ma Christina,
your cooking skills have seen better days.
This dish is lacking the pizzazz
I was hoping for.
[Ma Christina] I've been cooking
for this family for years,
and nobody's complained before.
- Such a pity.
- [Zola] Sorry.
Who do you think you are
talking to my aunty like that?
- Your aunty?
- Yeah, my aunty!
- Since when is the cleaner your aunty?
- [Julian] Hey, bro.
- Hey!
- Listen, as a chef,
- how can you tolerate such mediocrity?
- Emeka.
But then again, I suppose your taste
has been quite questionable lately.
Emeka.
- It's enough. Please.
- Excuse me?
Atlanta, Georgia.
Something about a diner job there?
You and Julian flipping soy burgers
pretending it's a high-class restaurant.
Must be quite the spectacle, I imagine.
Oh, did I hit a nerve?
[Palesa] The horror!
The shock!
The shame!
Zola, you and Julian haven't really been
the epitome of honesty, have you?
Palesa.
Now that we're all here, is there
something else you'd like to tell us?
Hmm? Something about a desperate
green card ploy?
Really, babe?
Bitch, I promise you,
if you say one more word
I'm coming for you!
I'm sitting here, so why don't you?
I'm done with you.
Oluhle! And you, Palesa
Stop it!
Zola?
Zola?
- Ma.
- Is this
That I'm hearing true?
Yes!
- See?
- [Zola] Yes, it's true!
Fine, I said it. It's true!
Julian is a pawn in my wicked plan.
There! Are you happy? I said it.
I need a green card
so that I can achieve my dreams.
At least I have an excuse.
What is your excuse, Emeka?
Why are you just sitting there?
That's because refined women
know to keep their mouth shut.
You disrespectful, despicable fool!
How dare you speak
such filth about my family?
Let go of me!
Is this what we worked
so hard for, Naledi?
Are you happy now?
Have you finally fulfilled your ploy
to hurt me back?
You've brought this vile creature
into our home into our family!
- What about their sham marriage?
- [speaks Zulu] Shut up!
[in English]
Always comparing yourself to my child.
Live your own life, damn it!
I stand here
For Zola.
My child
Your dreams are always valid.
But as a man buried in a failed marriage
lies and deceit only breed pain.
Look around this table.
Let me go.
Sanele!
- Dad?
- Baby.
- Uncle Mindlos?
- Let it be done!
Let's take out the trash, uncle.
[speaking Zulu]
Caucasians say beat him to death.
[door opens]
[Zola in English] You had one job!
- One job!
- Zola, let me explain.
Explain what?
How you humiliated me
in front of my whole family?
- [Julian] Humiliated you?
- Keep it down.
What about what you said?
What about what you said?
How you're just using me.
I'm just a way to get a green card.
Come on!
Have you literally lost your mind?
I must be Booboo the Fool 'cause I
I actually thought we
I thought we were catching a vibe.
Don't pretend that you did not know
that this was about my green card.
- You were okay with it then!
- But things change, Zola.
I thought we had a genuine connection.
I thought we were starting to have
the beginnings of
- Of love.
- Love?
[scoffs] My God, Julian.
You think that this is about love?
This was always a transaction for me.
I needed the green card.
You needed the money.
Fair trade. Nothing more!
[scoffs]
You are heartless, Zola. You know that?
- I'm heartless?
- Yeah.
- At least I'm honest.
- Honest?
- Yes.
- Honest?
- Yeah, I'm honest.
- Is that what you call this? Honest? Huh?
Using people emotionally for your gain.
Exploiting them,
getting them involved in your family.
Zola, that is not honesty!
Do not act like you're some kind of
innocent victim here, okay?
I told you what this was from the start.
You knew the deal!
I can't even believe I thought you'd care.
You should have thought
more deeply about that!
Love is one luxury I cannot afford.
Yeah.
You're certainly right about that!
Julian, we're not even a match!
- You're just the guy from the diner.
- [chuckles sadly]
Our deal
Was about survival.
Nothing else!
Yeah.
Looks like you're surviving
pretty well without me.
[in Zulu] Drink, home girl. Drink.
[in English] Heartless? Me? I'm heartless?
How ridiculous is that?
Friend, people say wild things
when they're angry.
I had a plan, a very good plan.
And I was very honest with him.
I thought he would understand,
but clearly he can't comprehend anything.
- [Julian] Uncle Baby?
- Yeah?
- Can I come in?
- Come in, yeah.
Look, I'm gonna just cut to it.
Could you
What?
Could you help me get a cab
to the airport, please?
Why?
What about my perspective?
My dreams? My family? My life?
Zo, you're gonna have to calm down, sis!
I get it. He's not perfect.
None of us are.
Neither are you, Madame Bitter Coffee.
Don't come with that! Don't!
But you guys have something
really good going on.
Come on, friend!
Nobody gets it,
but he's your "Hobo from America!"
The vibes are vibing, babe!
Come on, Zola.
You're going to let this young
misunderstanding make a bae run away?
Girl, he is only as useful to me
as a green card. That's it.
[Oluhle] You keep saying that
But I see it.
I see the way you look at him.
I see the way he makes you smile.
I know that when you look at him,
your Nana goes
- [making seductive noises]
- No. No way.
Okay.
Do you, boo-boo.
[Julian] Thank you, Uncle Baby.
Look, I promise,
when I get back home,
I'm gonna get my own spot.
And when I get settled in
It's gonna be popping,
and you can come through.
We can chop it up, we can hang out. Yeah.
Come to ATL, I'll show you everything.
You gonna love it!
- Atlanta?
- Yeah.
- ATL?
- The ATL, baby!
- Me? In America?
- Yeah, yeah!
You roll through, I got you.
I'll take you around ATL.
You'll love it I promise.
Okay.
[in Zulu] I've got my outfits sorted.
My pajamas are ready.
The jewelry is on deck!
Got my passport.
[in English] When I get to Atlanta,
first thing,
- I'm gonna go to Long Beach!
- Right.
First thing I'm gonna drink
is a gin and juice.
Aliz!
[Julian] You hit me up when you're ready.
I'll come pick you up at the airport.
Then we gonna go hit the town.
Disneyland.
All right, all that.
- Okay.
- San Francisco Bay Bridge.
[Julian] I'm going. Thanks.
[speaking Zulu]
Need to get there and get some weapons
[in English] Sean Puffy Combs.
Gave me five shots
I took 'em and smiled
Now I'm back to set
The record straight!
[sobbing]
[sentimental music playing]
[Julian on video] How you doing, Zola?
You happy to be back home?
[Zola] Yeah, I am.
[Julian singing indistinctly]
- [Julian] This is South Africa.
- [laughing]
So, this how y'all be living out here?
Y'all just be living like
y'all in a postcard all day, every day.
- Damn, Zees! You didn't tell me this.
- Zees?
[Julian] It's so beautiful, man.
It's like something out of a dream.
[clears throat] Uh
Zee, if you're watching this,
it means that
I couldn't say these words to you
in person.
I think I've kind of fallen for you, Zee.
And I low-key wanna ask you
to be my girlfriend.
I guess my wife-girlfriend.
You got all the flavors a brother needs.
It's cheesy, but I mean it.
I must have done some real good
in the past life to deserve you, you know.
I think I love you, Zee.
Love, your husband.
Ooh! I kind of like the sound of that,
it's nice.
Okay. All right.
Yeah.
Call him.
It's not about him.
- We can get you another visa appointment...
- No, Dad!
I need stability.
And, I just wanted the visa because
I wanted to work in the States.
I get it.
Control can be like
a cozy security blanket.
But sometimes
Sometimes the best things
come from uncertainty.
And love
love is no different.
I'm scared.
And it's okay to be scared.
We are all scared sometimes.
Screw the American dream, Dad.
I'm going to move back home,
and find a place, and get a job.
And everything will be fine.
Everything will be fine, right?
If that is what you really want.
But Julian, he's a cool guy.
Very sweet.
Very smart.
Like some kind of savant.
An idiot savant.
And not that my opinion matters but
I kind of dig him for you, too.
You dig him for me?
You forget that my generation
came up with that slang.
[speaking Zulu] These kids don't know.
[in English] There are plenty of fish
in the sea, Dad.
That is true
But Julian is the water.
Uh, that beach over there, you
You mind if we stop?
Just for a few minutes.
I still got five hours before my flight.
- [driver] Need some time to think?
- Yeah, something like that.
I'm losing my mind. I just
I might as well do it
with an amazing view, right?
[melancholy music playing]
Hey, Dad.
I really wish you could see this.
I'm in the motherland!
Yeah, you'd love it here.
I know you'd love it.
You'd probably love her, too.
I really miss you, Dad.
I kind of need you right now, too.
I'm losing it. I'm really losing it.
Hey, Sthandiveli!
- Sthandiveli, check it!
- Shit. Okay.
Let's shift focus. Shift onto her.
Can I talk to you
just for five minutes, please?
Uncle Baby, I told you to keep it
on the down low. What up?
[Uncle Baby in Zulu] Just breath, bro!
[in English] You gotta understand,
it's a love thing, okay?
It's a delicate love thing!
You know they say the way to someone's
heart is through their stomach.
Luckily, I've mastered that part, right?
You got any more cheese down there?
Listen, uh
I I
I'm a mess!
I was wrong.
Very wrong!
And I'm sorry.
I know I can be very stubborn,
and I am a hard nut to crack, but
I'm sorry. And I completely understand
if you never want to see me again.
I just wanted to say that I am sorry.
So, you gonna apologize
with Uncle Baby's Makaveli cookies?
I didn't really have the time!
- You know that I like to
- Sure.
plan things out
and be concise and perfect.
In fact
I even crafted the perfect lie.
But I can't lie anymore.
There's something missing
in my perfectly crafted life,
and that is you.
Okay
Fuck it.
[yelling loudly]
Stop! Stop, what are you doing?
I'm trying to break free from the robotic,
uptight shell, Julian!
- I just want to let go!
- Okay.
You ain't gotta do all that, okay? I...
No! Just let me finish.
- Will you marry me?
- Huh?
Will you marry me, again?
- For real this time?
- Did you have some of this? You good?
[Zola] I'm being serious.
Please.
Oh, my
Oh, my God.
Um [chuckles nervously]
I've tasted your dishes, and
I've tasted your kisses.
And I can't imagine my life
without either, to be honest.
So, yeah.
Yeah, sure. A thousand times, yes.
Yeah, let's do it.
[all exclaiming]
[in Zulu] My kids are getting married!
We have a wedding to plan and celebrate.
Wait, nephew, we've got to talk about
the lobola, okay?
- The what?
- Lobola!
Her father doesn't speak,
so the "negotiation gifts" come to me.
Two whiskeys. We'll need ten cows.
[in Zulu] Maybe 15.
[in English] Fifteen cows?
There's beef! Yeah.
- And goats. But not...
- Okay, shut up now!
- We need a swan and a tortoise!
- [Ma Christina] Welcome to the family.
[Zola] We'll talk about that.
[Julian] Please.
'Cause you bought my tickets.
I can't buy no cows!
[Zola] I know.