A Slight Case of Murder (1938) Movie Script

Here's to the end of Prohibition!
Old Man Prohibition passed away...
at exactly 5:32 and a half p.m.,
New York time, when Utah ratified...
Folks, here's the last keg
of Prohibition beer in the house.
Marco's ether and it's on the house!
Here's to Remy Marco, the king of beer.
And he kept us supplied for four years!
Marco is all right!
Yeah, but thank Heaven
we don't have to drink his beer anymore.
To Remy Marco! To Remy Marco!
All right, shut up. Shut up, you lugs.
I've got something to say.
Prohibition is over, sure.
What of it? Well, I'll show you what of it.
It's the birth of a new day for us.
Come here, all of you.
I'll show you something.
Get over here.
Look. Get an eyeful of that.
I tell you, it's great. A land office business.
Everybody's drinking beer.
- Don't that mean anything to you?
- Yeah, but Remy...
Well, they've been drinking my beer
for four years, ain't they? And liked it.
They had to like it.
Well, they're gonna keep on drinking it,
more than ever now.
It's gonna be the same beer,
the same customers.
They're gonna be just as thirsty
as they ever was.
The only difference is,
from now on, Marco is legitimate.
- What's gonna happen to us?
- What about us?
Oh, shut up, will you? Shut up, you lugs.
I'm gonna take care of every one of you,
just like I always did.
- I got a job for every one of you.
- Yeah?
From now on, you're gonna be salesmen.
- Salesmen?
- What kind of salesmen?
Yeah, that's what I said, salesmen.
Well, that's what you've been up to now,
ain't it? Beer salesmen.
Well, that's
what you're gonna keep on being.
Only there's gonna be a little difference
in our sales business.
Come on, boys. Take out the artillery.
Come on. Hurry up.
Hurry up, now. Loosen up.
I'll be lost without this.
That's it.
Hey, some of you guys over there,
bring up the rest of those persuaders.
Come on, now. Make it snappy.
There, that's it.
Lefty, Blacky, I want you to dump this
on one of our trucks...
and cart it down to the East River.
You mean dump it, boss?
Hey, we can get a lot of money
for this stuff, boss. We can sell it.
Not us. Now, I told you,
from now on, we're legitimate.
There's gonna be a lot of changes
around here.
In the first place,
this ain't no still no more, see.
It's a brewery.
Yeah, it's a business enterprise
operated on a strictly legitimate basis.
Get me?
Oh, yeah, and I'm gonna give this place
a lot of class.
Now, that reminds me.
Mike, I want you to shave every day.
Every day?
- Lefty, lay off these striped silk shirts.
- Oh, boss...
From now on,
everybody wears white shirts. Get me?
With clean collars.
Listen, boss.
Will it help us to sell Marco's Beer
any better with clean shirts?
Oh, yes. Say, there's another thing.
From now on,
it ain't Marco's Beer no more.
Come here. I'll show you something...
Say, you know, Marco ain't been asleep.
You know, I'm all ready for this new setup.
Come here. Get a gander at this.
Tomorrow, the warehouse sign
comes down, and up goes this one.
That sign? That ain't big enough.
Oh, you dope.
Ain't you got no imagination?
This is just a miniature model
just to give you an idea.
Well, I'm going home.
- Here you are, boss.
- Thanks.
"Drink Gold Velvet Beer. It's the tops."
It's a good thing
the boss never drinks beer.
I want everybody to show up
bright and early tomorrow morning...
ready for business.
Oh, and Butch, wash your neck.
Come on, Mike. And get a manicure.
Come on.
What's Remy gonna do now, Nora?
I don't know.
He never tells me till he's done it.
Everything was going swell
under Prohibition.
Then the government has to step in
with repeal.
Yeah, they're always passing laws
interfering with people.
- Hello, Remy.
- How are you? Hi, how are you?
Hiya, Joe.
Well, Nora, I want to talk to you.
Excuse us, folks.
Go right ahead.
Oh, you look great, kid.
Come right in, honey. Into the music room.
Music room? Up to now,
this has always been a slot machine room.
Well, that's all gonna be changed
from now.
We're gonna start putting on
plenty of class.
Oh, and, by the way, have Mike
take the spittoons out of the living room.
Remy, you aren't thinking
of going into some other racket, are you?
No, we're going legitimate.
Take a look at me.
You are now looking at the president
of Gold Velvet Brewery.
"Drink Gold Velvet Beer. It's the tops."
It all sounds swell, Remy.
If I could only be sure
you ain't got a bug in your nut.
Well, listen, doll,
I got the whole thing figured out.
I've been telling the boys about it, too.
Why, I've been making plans for all this.
But what about Mary?
Will we keep her in that Paris school?
Why not? It's the most expensive school
in Europe, ain't it?
Well, that's what I mean.
Will we be able to afford it
after we're legitimate?
Afford it?
Now, look here, Nora.
Nothing's too good for Marco's daughter.
I'm telling you...
I'm gonna have the biggest beer business
in the country.
In the world!
Now that it's legal to sell it,
and you don't have to push it...
you just watch Marco sail ahead.
Imagine, us being legitimate
after all these years.
Gee, I won't hardly know how to act.
Well, after we're legit a little while...
you'll get so used to it,
you'll forget we ever were anything else.
Well, that being the case, we gotta
start changing things around here...
right away.
Gentlemen, I beg your pardon.
Please refrain from any rough talk.
What kind of a joint
do you think you're in?
What do you mean?
Remy's going legit, see.
- What?
- Yeah, that's right.
From now on, Nora wants you
to be high tone and talk refined.
Attaboy, Remy.
Yeah, put a muzzle
on that "attaboy" lingo.
That goes for all of you.
What will it be?
Schindlers, Budweiser, or Gold Velvet?
Anything but Gold Velvet.
I'm sorry. We are not renewing
our order on Gold Velvet Beer.
This joint used to take care
of two dozen barrels...
of Marco's stuff a week in the old days.
Those days are over.
They want real beer now.
- What was in that glass?
- Gold Velvet Beer.
Take it away.
I'm not having a tooth pulled.
- Remy?
- Yeah?
We got another letter this morning
from Mary's school.
We're six months behind on her bills.
They want $4,850.
Well, they got a lot of nerve
bothering Marco...
about chicken feed like that.
Nora, I ain't got it.
They gotta wait.
Remy, I knew things were pretty bad,
but I didn't think they were that bad.
I'm in pretty deep.
Four years legit,
and I'm worse off than when I started.
You'll pull out of it. You've done it before.
But in the meantime,
we gotta start cutting down on expenses.
First of all, Mary's gotta come home.
Gee, I hate to do that.
You know, I want her to get a load of all
that swell education they got over there.
But how can we do that?
You say she's in hock for 4,850 smackers.
Well, we gotta sell some stuff. That's all.
Look, why don't you call her up right now?
Start economizing this very minute.
Oh, gee, I hate to do that.
I guess you're right, Mama.
Gee, I...
Hello, long distance? Get me Paris.
Sure. Paris, France.
Wait here, driver.
When the bank takes this brewery over,
we ought to keep that slogan.
It's good. Different.
Yeah, nothing wrong with the slogan.
Nothing wrong with the brewery.
Perfectly equipped, well located,
it's got everything.
Ought to be a gold mine...
once we get hold of it
and change the beer.
Too bad Marco couldn't find that out
for himself, isn't it?
It's a shame.
Morning, Miss Ferguson. Mr. Marco in?
Yes, he is, Mr. Post...
but I'm afraid he's going to be engaged
for quite some time.
His daughter just arrived from abroad
this morning.
- Shall we wait?
- We'll wait.
Well, well, well.
You're looking swell, kid.
You know, you look even prettier
than your mother did at your age.
And that's going some.
Remember, I used to be willing
to bet a million dollars...
that you were the best-looking dame
in the whole burg?
And I got no takers, either.
Remember that?
Nobody disagreed with your father
in those days.
Well, you're looking
pretty well yourself, Remy.
I feel great.
- And my! What a success you've become.
- Yeah.
Oh, golly, I'm proud of you.
Well, you've got a right to be.
You just ask anybody who Marco is.
Why, pretty soon,
I'll be selling enough Gold Velvet Beer...
to float Manhattan Island on.
Why, only the other day,
someone told me...
anybody who takes one drink
of your father's beer stops right there.
Now, there you are. What'd I tell you?
Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Marco...
but Mr. Post and Mr. Ritter
are here to see you.
It's very urgent.
They can't wait very much longer.
Well, tell those bloodsuckers
I'll be right out.
He says to thank you. He'll be right out.
I wonder if I ought to tell him
about Dick now.
If I was you, I'd wait.
I remember once
when your father had a boil...
and I was just dumb enough
to pick that time...
to tell him his brother
was in the penitentiary.
Nora, I hope Remy's gonna like Dick.
I guess he'll like him all right
if he's half what you say he is.
My baby engaged. I can't believe it.
I hope he's good enough for you
and that his family comes up to yours.
You just wait until you meet him.
What kind of a job...
I mean, position has he got?
Well, I don't know.
He didn't write me what it was.
He said he wanted to surprise me.
Remy, your note's due tomorrow.
Oh, say, that so?
Well, I've gotta have another extension.
See, now, look here, you boys
going up to Saratoga for the meeting?
I got a great thing in the fourth race.
- You bet on...
- Remy, we don't own the bank.
We have to do as the board says
in these matters.
Well, okay, just tell the board
I'll need another extension.
Say, I've only been legitimate
for a little more than four years.
I'm just beginning to get on the ropes.
Sorry, Remy, but we can't go any further.
Say, now, wait a minute. Now, you boys
don't think I can't pay it, do you?
You don't think I'm gonna let you take
my brewery away for that kind of dough?
Why, I could let you have it in cash
right now.
Well, we're glad you've got it, Remy.
Yeah, we were a little worried about you.
Our reports show
you've nothing like that amount.
Now, listen, all that Marco owes you
is $462,000.
- That ain't even a half-a-million.
- It's due tomorrow.
Now, listen, if you boys was figuring
on going up to Saratoga...
be Marco's guest, will you?
Drop in on I and the missus
anytime you like. Open house all the time.
Oh, and a different class of people
than you would have met last year.
Thanks, Remy. We'll be dropping in.
- Good.
- We'll be dropping in tomorrow.
Now, do you want to turn the money over
in Saratoga...
or maybe since you have the cash,
you'd better give it to us now?
I'll tell you what I'll do for you boys.
I'll give you an extra 2% interest
on that thing...
if you'll give me a three-month extension.
Now, that ought to make you happy.
No, that won't do, either.
We'll call on you in Saratoga.
Tomorrow, it's the money or the brewery.
Say, now, wait a minute.
I don't like to see you boys taking
that kind of an attitude. Did they...
It's all taken, Remy. See you tomorrow.
Look, boss, I got all the baggage loaded
in the little car.
- Do you want...
- Come on, now.
Wait a minute, boss. I just heard today
that Little Dutch and his mob is out of stir.
Don't bother me with little things like that
right now.
Can't you see I got something big
on my mind? Come on, now.
Now, fix that tie of yours, will you?
Nora's inside.
Come on, boys.
What's up, Remy?
Oh, nothing at all, sweetheart.
Nothing at all.
- But what's all this...
- Everything's okay.
Only a little change in our plans.
We leave for Saratoga right away.
Gip, you and Lefty go on up right away
with the small car and all the luggage.
Mike, you'll take me, Nora, and Mary
in the big car, understand?
- Okay, boss.
- What was that, Michael?
I mean, yes, sir.
You mean, you want me and Lefty
to go on up ahead with the stuff?
Get going and have your kitchen ready...
for the time we get there.
Do you's want...
Does Madame and Mademoiselle
wish meatballs and spaghetti for dinner?
Oh, that would be delicious.
Mike, we'll be right down.
Come on, boys. Get going.
Thank you, Harold.
- "Harold"? Who's she talking to?
- You, you lug. Get going.
Look, Myrtle, me and the family
are going up to Saratoga right away...
so if anything shows up,
you can reach me there.
Well, then shall I phone
the orphanage and tell them...
to expect you today
rather than tomorrow?
Say, I'm glad you reminded me
about that orphan.
You know, I almost forgot him.
Me and the missus will pick him up
in a couple of hours.
Say, you're a great dame
reminding me about that kid. Thanks.
There she is, Mama.
The little old alma mater.
You bet your life, it's a great place.
Culture, refinement. Just breathe that air.
Go on and breathe it.
- Ain't it full of sentiment?
- Is that what it is?
Why, listen, Nora, I could tell you stories
about this place...
that would crack your heart.
Like the time when me and...
Look, Remy, go on in
and get your prize package...
and let's get away from here.
Yeah, well, I'll be back in a minute.
Get ready.
Well, well, well, Mrs. Cagle. Put her there.
Remy, welcome home.
You ain't changed a bit.
Still just as slick as a horsehair couch.
You don't know
what this means to the little ones.
It's a banner day in their little world
when you come.
Yes, I'm sure, but look here.
I ain't got much time...
so let me have a look
at the little mob, huh?
How do you do, Mr. Marco
How do you do
All the happy little orphans welcome you
We are glad that you are here
'Cause you always bring us cheer
How do you do, Mr. Marco
How do you do
As you students all know...
every year we are most fortunate
in having Mr. Marco...
one of our most successful alumnus...
visit us
and extend to one of the students...
an invitation to spend the summer
with him...
at his charming summer home
in Saratoga.
Before selecting
this very fortunate student...
I know we will appreciate a few words
from Mr. Marco on the subject of success.
- Mr. Marco.
- All right.
Now, look here, you mugs...
I mean, you guys.
I get a little nervous, you know.
I'm your pal, see.
I'm for you 100%, understand?
Now, look,
does that make any difference to me?
I got lots of it, see,
but does it make any difference with me?
Not on your tintype.
Success didn't turn my hair.
And that's the way I want
it should be with you.
Never treat a sucker like so much dirt
when he's down.
Play ball with him, and you'll find...
you'll always get a little better edge
in the end.
And I'm telling you guys...
when you leave this joint,
keep your chin up.
Of course, it's a smart thing to keep
your left shoulder up along with it, too.
But whatever you do,
don't go in for nothing shady.
Don't be a chiseler or a gyp or a gumshoe.
Now, stay kosher, keep your nose clean...
and remember,
you'll always come out on top...
with honesty, industry,
and a good hard right to the button.
All right?
Will the following students
kindly step forward.
Pierre O'Ratigan, Boyce Fitch Ginsberg...
Payson Piedmont Camel...
Luther Percy.
These are the honor students
for the year, Mr. Marco.
They had the highest records...
in deportment, studies,
and personal hygiene...
and are all eligible to accept
your lovely invitation to spend a month...
in the beautiful environment
of your charming home.
All perfect little gentlemen.
Yeah, that's what I was afraid of.
Now, look, there'll be lots of people
coming up here...
that are a cinch
to take any one of these kids.
I don't want the best. I want the worst.
You know, some little mug
that nobody else wants.
I want to give him a chance, see.
That's right. Now, give me the ugliest
and toughest little gazabo you've got.
I want to mold him, see.
Well, surely, Mr. Marco,
you don't really want the worst?
Yeah, that's right. I want the worst.
Now, trot him out here,
and let me give him a gander.
Very well. Pedro, you take
three of the other older boys...
go down to the cellar, unlock Douglas,
and bring him to my office.
Come on, gang.
Thank you very much.
Take it easy, will you?
This, Mr. Marco,
is Douglas Fairbanks Rosenbloom.
Well, how are you, old-timer?
How'd you like to come up
to my joint in Saratoga, huh?
Can I smoke?
I'm sure, Douglas, Mr. Marco
doesn't approve of little boys smoking.
Oh, an old-fashioned sucker, huh?
You'll like it up there. How's about it, kid?
I ain't so sure about that.
But anyway,
I'll go up and give your joint the once-over.
That's fine.
I think we better start shoving off.
It's getting kind of...
That's funny. My watch.
Douglas, hold out your hands.
Open them.
Oh, Douglas, you hadn't ought to do that.
That's liable to hurt people's feelings.
It's going to mean everything
to a boy like Douglas...
to spend a month
in the atmosphere of your lovely home.
Goodbye, Douglas. Be a good boy
for kind Mr. And Mrs. Marco.
Tell the old lady
to change her needle, will you?
Well, goodbye, Mrs. Cagle.
Keep up the good work.
Come on, Douglas.
Hey, got a match?
You hadn't ought to do that, Douglas.
That's bad for the wind.
I take notice it ain't hurt yours none.
Well, I wouldn't do it just the same.
Come on, Douglas.
Now, Douglas, this is Mrs. Marco
and my daughter, Mary.
And here, folks,
we have Douglas Fairbanks Rosenbloom.
You talk like you're announcing a bout.
- Hello, Douglas.
- Hiya, toots.
Hey, does the old dame
live in the house, too?
Certainly. Why?
Call some of the older boys,
and tell them to put me back in the cellar.
Here, now, wait a minute.
Oh, boy, you certainly
got a great sense of humor.
You know, that's what I like in a kid.
Great stuff, isn't he?
Hey, Mike.
Mike, take Douglas
in the front seat with you.
I can let down the trunk rack just as easy.
He's a great kid. You'll enjoy him.
All right, Mike, let's go.
Well, Dad, how do you like it?
Well, I find it a bit difficult
to get used to the idea...
of a Whitewood as a policeman.
Well, not exactly a policeman, Dad.
State trooper.
Yeah. Of course, I don't wish
to underestimate the importance...
of any law-enforcing agency,
particularly in these troubled times.
But I rather thought
some more dignified occupation...
Oh, I couldn't bear the thought
of sitting in an office all day long.
Boy, wait till Mary sees me
in this uniform.
She'll get a real kick out of it.
You'll love Mary, Dad.
I hope so.
And what about her family?
Have you looked into their background?
We're bound to like them.
After all, they produced Mary.
You'll see them tonight.
They're on their way up to Saratoga now.
I'm looking forward to it.
Well, I'm going up now and arrange things.
Maybe I can pick up their car
on the road and surprise Mary.
See you later, Dad.
So, Little Red Riding Hood
grabs herself a basket of chow...
and hotfoots it to her grandmother's.
But the wolf,
who was hanging around for no good...
gets a load of her
trotting through the woods and tails her.
But he gets to the grandmother's first.
The old bag of bones has took a powder,
so he grabs one of her bonnets...
and puts it on and gets into bed
and waits for Little Red Riding Hood...
with a look on his pan like a hungry tramp
taking a hinge at a lunch room.
Now, there's something for you, huh?
Now, look at the way
Mike is handling Douglas.
You know, I always said that Mike
should have got married and had children.
He's a family man from the heels up.
That's what I've been telling Mary.
I think every girl should meet
some nice fellow and get married...
or something.
What, do you mean to tell me
that Mike and Mary...
Mike? Don't be silly, Remy. How could I?
Well, I feel better.
You had me scared for a minute.
Mike's a nice fellow, all right,
but it ain't that, you know.
He ain't for you. You know,
you're different. You're Marco's daughter.
What you need is a guy with culture,
education, good breeding.
You know,
somebody that can talk our language.
- Look, Remy.
- Yeah?
There's something
I've been dying to tell you.
You see, while I was in Paris, at school...
Mike, step on it.
There's a piece of the law tailing us.
But, Nora, we haven't been
exceeding the speed limit.
Well, if we ain't, we're going to now.
I hate to have a cop within a mile of me.
They make me sick.
- Mike, give it all you've got.
- Okay.
I'll call you. What you got, Dutch?
Full house.
Kings and Johns.
That's a fin you owe me.
- Any sign of them yet?
- If there was, I'd tell you.
What's the matter? Still sore?
Certainly, I'm sore.
We ought to lam out of here
with that 500 G's.
Come up here to take care of Remy,
didn't we? That's the main thing.
That stickup we done
was just an accident.
Accidents will happen.
Yeah, but with all the dough we got...
we ought not to be waiting around
for nobody.
What are you squawking about?
You'll get your cut.
Nobody gets no cut till we do
the Remy job and get out of here.
One job a day is enough for me.
Come on. Deal up, somebody.
Want to go down and get me
a drink of water, Innocence?
We'll watch the window for a second.
I don't know what's the matter
with Innocence...
but it's getting so I don't like him no more.
It's funny, but I was just gonna say
the same thing, Dutch.
Well, when we start the fun with Remy,
it'll be pretty easy.
You know, anything is liable to happen.
Yeah, anyway, it's easier
to split four ways than five.
Where do we put all the stuff?
Let's put it right here, beer and all.
Tell you what, you get the rest of it in,
and I'll go up and open some windows.
Here we are.
Come on, honey.
Oh, what a lovely,
old-fashioned house, Nora.
We've been renting it for the last
three years. Your father seems to like it.
You know, it was the deer that sold me.
You know, I got a streak
of the artist in me a mile wide.
- Mike, bring Douglas in.
- Okay.
Come on, you.
Go chase yourself.
Calling all cars. Calling all cars.
Stand by for a man on the...
Hey, lay off me, you lug.
Who do you think you are?
You want to get clunked?
Hello, boys. Have a good trip up?
- Hiya, boss.
- It was okay. Kind of quiet.
I and Mr. Marco will occupy the room
we had last year.
Miss Marco will use the front bedroom.
- Rustle the baggage.
- Okay.
Wait a minute. What was that you said?
I said, "Okay."
How many times do I have to tell you
to say "Yes, ma'am"?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Now, remember that, Harold.
- Come on, Mary. I'll show you your room.
- Swell.
Hey, take it easy, you mug!
Cut it out, will you?
Who do you think you are?
- Hey, Gip.
- Yeah?
- Did you get in a jam coming up here?
- Me? No. Why?
- There's a copper coming up the walk.
- A copper?
There he is now.
You take the kid into the kitchen.
I'll handle the law.
- Come on, little boy.
- Take your hands off me.
I don't get pushed around
by a lot of mugs like you.
Come. I'll give you a bottle of beer.
So what?
Good afternoon.
Have the Marcos arrived yet?
- No.
- When do you expect them?
I don't know.
Well, they're due here anytime now,
aren't they?
I don't know.
Oh. Well, thanks very much just the same.
What did he want?
Who knows what any cop wants?
He asked for the boss.
There can't be nothing wrong
about the boss now.
Still and all,
I do not like the idea of a copper.
I don't like the idea of any copper.
What's the matter, boys?
Nothing, boss. The law was here.
- Local?
- State trooper.
State trooper, huh?
Well, you ought to have thrown him out
on his ear.
We don't have to worry anymore.
The old days is gone.
I've been polite to my last cop.
- I bet that's him again.
- What?
Wait a minute, boss. Let me handle him.
Some gall.
- Oh, hello.
- Hello, Mike. Remy here?
Yeah. Come in.
- How are you, Sam?
- Hello, fellows.
- Hello, Remy.
- Oh, hello, Sam. Glad to see you.
- Say, tell me, who won the third?
- My Dandy.
Say, that's great. I'm doing okay.
How much did I make?
I got the tab here. Here it is. Here.
Let you see it in a minute.
There it is, $4,890.
Yeah, that's right. Come here.
Well, glad to hear that.
Sit down.
Look, Remy, that's what I come
to talk to you about, that dough.
What about it?
Well, I just want to tell you
that I'll take care of it tomorrow...
when the insurance company
settles with us.
Hey, don't tell me you got knocked off
on the first day of the meeting.
- Ain't you heard about the stickup?
- What stickup?
Well, you know the armored truck...
that brings the bookies' dough
from the bank?
- Yeah.
- It was knocked off by five guys.
Nobody's got any money
to make book with.
They got pretty near a half-a-million.
Who done it? Anybody we know?
Who knows? They all got away.
All the bookies' dough, huh?
Gee, ain't that terrible?
Nearly half a million.
Say, wait till I tell the boys.
They'll be interested.
Hey, Mike, Gip. Come in here, will you?
What do you think happened?
Some people held up the armored car
with all the bookies' dough in it.
- All the bookies' dough, huh?
- Yeah.
Ain't that terrible?
- That's fierce. Did they all get away?
- Clean.
Oh, well, I'll be in the kitchen
if you want me, boss.
Say, listen, Sam, tell me.
How did you manage this afternoon
without any sugar?
Well, we done business with IOUs.
Say, there'll be enough markers
around here tonight...
to paper the Pennsylvania Station.
Hey, I can recite.
You wanna hear me recite?
"When you see a man in woe
Walk right up and say hello"
That's swell.
- Pretty good, huh?
- Elegant.
"Walk right up and say hello"
I'd rather hear him say goodbye.
- So long.
- I'll be seeing you later, Remy.
Yeah, drop in tonight, will you?
There'll be some of the old gang
around here.
"Walk right up and say hello"
Just a little ray of sunshine,
that little fellow.
"Walk right up and say hello"
Douglas. Hey, wait a minute, Douglas.
You hadn't ought to do that.
Oh, what's the odds?
Mary thinks the house is too, too divine.
- What's the matter with you?
- Remy, take the beer away from that kid.
- Yeah, it ain't good for the kids, is it? Here.
- It's not that. He'll ruin the piano.
- Michael?
- That's you, Mike.
Get the guest bedroom ready
for Mr. Marco's prize.
I mean, yes, ma'am.
Hey, when do we put on a feed bag?
You go into the kitchen, Douglas.
Gip will get you something to eat.
- Hey, when do we eat?
- Sit down.
Here. Drink this,
and I'll fix you something to eat.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Sit down.
Hey! Hey!
Is that bedroom ready
for Mr. Marco's prize?
No, and I don't think
you can use that room.
- Why not?
- There seems to be some people in it.
People? What people?
- How many people?
- Four fellows.
- Four?
- Well, what are they doing there?
Just sitting around in chairs.
- Well, did you tell them to get out?
- Now, wait a minute.
You mean, four people
that don't belong here?
I don't think they belong here regular.
Well, did you tell them to get out?
Well, I was gonna speak to them about it...
but, boss, I don't think them people
are in any position to listen to much.
They don't seem to be alive.
- What, you mean they're dead?
- That's about it.
Why, I never heard of such gall in my life!
What does that landlady mean
by going away...
and leaving four dead people
in this house?
Now, now, now, wait a minute, will you?
What was the matter with those fellows?
Somebody shot them, boss.
- Shot them?
- Yes, sir. Right there in that room.
Interrupted their card game.
And one guy had a king full, too.
There they sit, just as natural as anything.
You've gotta get them out of there.
I can't have people like that
around my house.
Mrs. Thurston was supposed
to leave this house in good order.
Now, wait a minute. She wouldn't
have left them there if she'd have known.
Well, then get the agent on the phone.
They've got no right to rent a house
with people like that in it.
What would the neighbors think?
What would Mary's fianc think
if he came in while they were here?
Say, what would anybody think?
We better call up the Board of Health.
Yeah, tell them we want to use that room.
No, I don't think we better do that, boss.
I don't think we want any strangers
in on this.
- You know who them fellows are?
- Who are they?
One of them is Little Dutch.
Then there's No-Nose Cohen...
Blackhat Gallagher,
and a guy I don't know.
He must be a total stranger.
What difference does it make
who they are?
I don't care anything about them,
and I don't want them there.
Now, listen, Nora, those are the guys
that I had trouble with in the old days.
They tried to see me
a couple of times before.
Yeah, the trouble with them guys is...
they could never get the idea
out of their heads...
that they had a right to that brewery
just because they started it.
Yeah, but the worst of it is,
what would people think?
Finding them this way in my own house.
He can't get back in the papers
now of all times.
Think what it'd mean to Mary
and the Whitewoods.
The Whitewoods. Think
what it would mean to Marco's Beer.
All right, then get those people
out of this house.
I don't care what you do with them,
but get them out quietly.
I'll keep Mary upstairs with me.
They got plenty of artillery, too.
Yeah, well, we better hide it.
Say, I'll wisen up the boys.
They'll be interested.
- Hey, Mike.
- Yeah?
Which one of them had the king full?
- Little Dutch?
- Yeah.
I thought so. Lucky fink, that Little Dutch.
That's just the kind of a dirty trick
those guys would pull...
leaving themselves in that kind of shape
around your house.
Yeah, you know, that Little Dutch
never had no consideration...
- for other people's feelings.
- No.
Say, you sure you boys
didn't have a hand in this?
No such luck.
- Boss, I think I got it all figured out.
- Yeah?
Those are the guys
that knocked off the bookies' truck.
Say, I think you're right.
Then they come straight up here
to take up that old matter with the boss.
- Some nerve, reopening old wounds.
- Yeah.
- Why can't they live and forget?
- Yeah.
- And me being legitimate for years.
- Yeah.
Sad Sam says there was five.
So I figure the fifth one
gives these guys the business...
and then scrams with the dough.
I think you're right.
Well, everybody's onboard.
Come on. Let's take these fellows
and throw them away somewhere.
Yeah, but where?
Say, you know that gentleman jockey,
Mr. Brent?
Well, I bet on a horse
that he rode at Belmont once...
and I think he pulled that horse.
I know he pulled that horse.
Although I don't like to say anything
against a gentleman jockey.
How'd it be to leave one on his doorstep?
Okay with me. Say, I never had
any love for gentlemen jockeys anyway.
How about Little Dutch for Mr. Brent?
That's fine. Look, and we leave
Blackhat Gallagher at Briggs' cottage...
around the corner.
You know, Joe Briggs welshed on me
when he was making book at Jamaica.
I know a guy I don't like
runs a restaurant downtown.
Oh, no, no, no.
We ain't taking anybody downtown.
Now, let's keep personalities
out of this, see.
Say, how about leaving one
on Colonel Jake Statts' lawn?
Yeah, the Statts Brewery.
You know, once he told it around
I was making chemical beer.
Well, we'll give him No-Nose Cohen.
He's the ugliest.
The stranger, the guy
we don't know about, he ain't no rose.
We ought to pick a spot for him.
Yeah, where'll we leave the stranger?
You know, we don't want to waste
any of these fellows.
Now, boss, can't I keep just one of them
in the kitchen until later?
Then I'll take him downtown by myself
with absolutely no trouble at all.
Now, you heard me.
We gotta get them out of here right away.
Nora's getting all sored up about this.
I got it. Marshall Preston. You know.
That bluenose that's always squawking
about closing down the track?
So he wants to close down the track,
does he? Where does he live?
He's got that gaten cottage
on Union Avenue.
Well, he gets the stranger.
Now, you stick here.
You're staying here with the missus.
Me and the other boys
are gonna make the deliveries.
Wait a minute, boss.
Lefty went last time. I never have no fun.
Now, you heard me. Stick here.
You're getting spoiled,
always thinking of your own pleasure.
Come on, boys.
- You heard him.
- So long, Michael.
A cop.
Yeah, and you missed him.
You're getting careless lately.
Yeah, I know, boss. It's the life I'm leading.
I was much better when I was illegitimate.
I'll learn you some manners.
A bull's-eye. What do I get?
What do you want? A Kewpie doll?
Stay where you are.
I'll beat your brains out.
- What do you want?
- Well, have the Marcos arrived yet?
Who wants to know?
Well, I'd like to see Miss Marco
or Mrs. Marco.
Well, you can't see them.
Michael, who is it?
Wait outside.
- It's the law.
- What?
He was here once before,
and I told the boss about it...
and the boss said, if he come back,
to throw him out.
Do you suppose he's here
about those parties that were upstairs?
Who knows what a copper wants?
- Is he a local?
- No, he's a state trooper.
Oh, that must be the fellow...
who was trying to catch us
outside of Albany this afternoon.
We weren't going very fast.
I'll take care of him. Show him in here.
Come in,
but I think she's making a mistake.
You asked for it.
So you had to follow us all the way here.
Well, let me tell you something,
young man...
we weren't going over 35 miles an hour.
- There's some mistake.
- Oh, no, there's no mistake.
That old car of ours
can't make over 35 miles an hour.
You don't believe it, take it out and try it.
I'm not here to arrest you for speeding.
Then what do you want?
- Well, you are Mrs. Marco, aren't you?
- What of it?
My name's Whitewood,
I'm Dick Whitewood.
What? In that uniform?
Well, Mary told me,
when I got back to America...
I had to do something, so I'm doing this.
Surprise Mary, don't you think?
Surprise her? It'll floor her.
Pardon me.
Forgive me for shouting for Mary,
but my servants are all busy.
How are you, Mr. Whitewood?
Such a shock,
thinking I was gonna be pinched...
and it turned out to be you.
I understand.
Oh, darling. Well, what a grand uniform.
He's got some bad news for you.
I mean, a surprise.
Don't tell me you're really a state trooper.
- I certainly am.
- I think that's marvelous.
But, darling, whatever put it in your head
to become a state trooper?
Yeah, and going around
making people nervous.
Well, I hadn't been back from Europe
for two days...
when I was stopped for speeding
in Westchester.
- Did you beat the rap?
- I beg your pardon?
Never mind. Skip it. Go on.
Well, that gave me the idea.
And I went to see a friend of mine
who's an officer and...
You mean, you have friends
that are policemen, too?
And here I am.
Well, I think that's grand.
And, darling, that uniform
is wonderfully becoming on you.
Why, I'll fall in love with you
all over again.
By the way, Mrs. Marco,
Dad's very anxious for me...
to bring Mary over to the hotel tonight
for dinner so he can meet her.
Certainly. And after
you've untied your bibs...
bring him back over here
to meet Mary's old man.
Personally, I can't tell you
how happy I am about you and Mary.
I'm pretty happy myself.
Mary's father will be tickled to death.
Have you any other clothes with you?
No, I'm just here overnight on leave.
I was thinking of your father.
He doesn't like uniforms.
He's a pacifist.
Well, if father doesn't like uniforms,
it's time he learned.
I like it, and that's enough.
Well, why not let me meet him
and see what happens?
Oh, well, he's not in now.
He went to work for half an hour.
He's gone out calling on some neighbors.
Well, I'll see you later.
It'll be very interesting
to have a policeman right in the family.
I hope.
Honey, how about you and I
having a few minutes alone together...
before we meet anybody else?
Darling, if you hadn't said that,
I was just getting ready to sock you.
Michael, what's the idea?
Mr. Marco said that, if this prize package
misbehaves, to cut a switch.
Why ain't he in B-E-D?
Because I want more to E-A-T,
you old C-O-W.
Mrs. Marco, I think this boy is a mistake.
In spades.
Is that room upstairs,
the one those parties left, in order?
Yeah, I scattered some rugs around it
and it looks okay.
Well, then take Little Lord Fauntleroy
up to it and put him to bed.
I ain't sleepy. I think I'll go out
to a pool parlor for a while.
You will in a pig's eye.
Grab him, Michael, and carry him upstairs.
Hey, cut it... Cut it...
What are you doing anyway?
Hey, take your hands off me,
you big lop-ear! I'm gonna...
Cut it out! I'll brain you!
What are you doing, anyway?
Hey, lay off me, you mug!
Hey, take it easy! I'll go to bed.
Now you're talking sense.
Put him down, Michael.
And I'll put out some pajamas for him.
Why do I want pajamas for?
I'm wearing my underwear.
Hey, scram, will you? I'm going to bed.
For crying out loud, take it easy!
Darling, I hate to break this up...
but if I'm going to meet your father,
I think we'd better start.
Let him wait a few minutes.
And make a bad impression?
No, sir, I'll get my things.
- Think you'll wait here alone for a second?
- I'll try, but I'll suffer.
Silly. Goodbye.
Mike, you missed it.
Say, you should've been along with us.
We ain't had so much fun since we shot up
Little Dutch's headquarters.
It was better than a circus.
You should've seen
how we planted No-Nose Cohen.
Say, that was a pip.
Can you imagine Jake Schultz
when he opens that door...
and No-Nose Cohen falls in on him?
Will his face be red, eh?
Mike, you want to get Lefty
to tell you all about it.
Oh, boy.
Well, we pulled up to the Schultz place,
and by this time, No-Nose is a little stiff.
Oh, excuse me.
Oh, I wish I could be there to see it.
Oh, good evening. Are you Mr. Marco?
- What about it?
- Well, I'm Dick Whitewood.
Say, are you in this house
on any business?
- No, sir, I came here to see...
- Well, then get out of here.
You boys have got plenty of crust
walking into an honest man's house.
I don't have to stand for any coppers
around me now.
- Mr. Marco, you don't understand...
- I understand everything I have to.
You ain't got anything on me...
- and you don't belong here.
- Yes, but...
Come on, now.
Get your hat and get out of here.
I ought to smack you
just for old time's sake.
- Father, listen, this is Dick Whitewood...
- I don't care who he is.
I don't want any coppers prowling
around this joint. Now, get out of here.
Remy, Remy. Nix, nix, that's Mary's feller.
This is Mr. Whitewood, Father.
My father, Dick.
Pleased to meet you, Mr. Marco.
Come on, now. Take it easy.
Remy, we got a little surprise for you.
Now, don't get excited.
Mr. Whitewood here and Mary
are engaged.
What? Engaged? To him? Since when?
Why wasn't I told about this?
Well, I tried to tell you
all the way up from New York.
They met in Paris.
Mary told me all about the family.
They're all right.
Thank you, Mrs. Marco.
- You mean, she met this copper?
- He wasn't a copper then.
Remy, give yourself a chance
to become acquainted with Dick...
before jumping to conclusions.
What's he trying to do,
make a sucker out of somebody?
Coming around here dressed up like that,
scaring people.
But he really is a flatfoot... I mean, officer.
Ain't it wonderful?
Say, now, what is this?
I can take a joke as well as anybody.
What is it?
Is he a copper, or isn't he a copper?
Listen, Remy.
I told Dick
when we became engaged in Paris...
that I couldn't marry a man
who didn't work...
no matter how much money he had.
So he came home and joined
the state police, and I think it's wonderful.
Oh, it's phenomenal.
Why don't you children run off
to the hotel...
and have your dinner with Dick's father?
I'll square the beef here.
Come on, Dick. Let's give Remy
a chance to get used to the idea.
Michael? Michael?
Well, we'll see you later.
I'll bring my dad over.
Tell the old gent... I mean, tell your father
how eager we are to meet him.
- What do you want?
- The door.
- Who, me?
- Yes, you, you lug.
- We'll be back later, Mother.
- Right, dear.
- Bye-bye.
- Goodbye.
So that's what Europe has done for her.
Now, Remy, she didn't know anything
about him becoming a copper.
It was entirely the boy's own idea.
Yeah, but she stood up for him, didn't she?
She doesn't think for a minute
that I'm gonna let her marry a copper?
Why, we'd never be able
to hold our heads up again.
Why, you cluck, you're on the side
of law and order yourself now.
Well, sure, I'm legit.
I'm in favor of law and order...
but you don't have to have it
right in your own house, do you?
- I won't stand for it.
- Remy, you stop shooting off your mouth.
This boy's coming back here tonight...
- and he's bringing his father.
- I don't...
And you're gonna be nice to them.
- We gotta think of Mary.
- I hate to tell you what I think of her now.
This job is only a whim on Dick's part.
He won't stick at it.
Now, come on. Have your dinner.
You'll feel better.
Come on.
Do you think he gets a pleasure
out of just arresting people?
You know, there are coppers in this world
just like that.
If this legit stuff keeps up much longer,
I'm gonna kiss you guys goodbye...
and spend the rest of my days
in the old ladies' home.
Cheer up. I hit the boss
for some of our back wages...
and he gave me $50 on account.
Gee, I didn't think he was down that low.
According to the chart, that horse
we bet on yesterday won by a dirty snoot.
Wonder who's running tomorrow.
What is it?
They're offering $10,000 reward each
for them bandits...
alive or dead.
We both know, Remy,
Mary's gotta get married someday.
And I know you'll like this boy
when you get used to him.
Oh, I ain't got nothing against the kid.
It's just that I don't like his avocation.
- Hey, Lefty!
- Harold!
Push that button a little harder, Nora,
will you?
If I do, I'll push my foot
right through the floor.
- There's nobody here.
- No kidding.
Here, what's this?
"Dear boss, we've tooken
a half hour off, Mike."
You know, I'm getting
a little discouraged about Mike.
You ought to,
after all you've done for him and given.
Oh, no, it ain't that.
It's just that I can't learn him how to spell.
Look at the way he spells "tooken,"
with two O's.
It's that grab bag of yours again, Remy.
Say, have him walk around
on his bare feet.
I think we should go up
and slip him a Mickey Finn.
He's liable to create a taste for them.
Marco will talk to him.
You go up the front stairs.
I'll go up the back.
That's a break. Now we can throw
a party tonight in peace.
you know, I get a funny feeling
looking at him like that.
Seems to me that around his little head...
is a halo.
Can't you see it?
- Quite the celebration.
- Oh, it'll be like this every night.
I didn't know
there was going to be a party.
Are you feeling well enough
to face it, Dad?
Oh, I'm all right.
Of course, we won't be here very long.
Is your health troubling you,
Mr. Whitewood?
Well, I have to be quieter
than most people.
Excitement seems to be bad for me.
Well, shall we go in?
Attaboy, you know them all!
Hey, wait here. Wait a minute.
Attababy, isn't that a dandy?
- Father.
- Yeah?
Father, this is Mr. Whitewood. My father.
- Well, how are you, Mr. Whitewood?
- How do you do?
- Come to look us over, huh?
- Well, I...
Well, we look you over, too.
You know, Mary springing
this engagement stuff on me...
hit me right between the eyes.
She means an awful lot to me,
my little girl.
I'm sure of that.
Yes, sir. You know,
I spent $50,000 educating that girl.
Of course, I understand you spent
some dough on that kid of yours, too.
Now, look here, you and me ought
to get together on this, Mr. Whitewood.
- The sooner, the better.
- Yeah, but first...
I want you to meet
some of the folks and have a little fun.
You know, they're all friends of mine.
Great people.
I have met some of them already.
- Yeah?
- Some rather whimsical ones.
Oh. Well, the only one that sings here
is The Singer.
He ain't never studied a note in his life.
Yes, I can hear that.
Hey, Nora. Come over here, will you?
Come over and shake hands
with Mr. Whitewood.
That's my better half.
- This is Mrs. Marco.
- I'm very glad to know you, Mrs. Marco.
This is a great pleasure, Mr. Whitewood.
We're so glad to have you in our house.
I wonder if I could have a glass of water.
You bet your life.
Anything at all.
Michael! Where is he? Harold!
I can't imagine what's happened
to our butler and our steward.
- Where are those mugs?
- I'll see if I can find them.
Say, it's a lucky thing
we got them all back.
I thought for a minute
we was gonna lose No-Nose Cohen...
when Colonel Statts come along just then.
Listen, we can't leave them stiffs here,
somebody's liable to come nosing around.
Best thing is to stick them
in an empty room upstairs in the closet.
Well, now, that ain't so easy.
There's people going through
that hall all the time.
You can't use the guest room.
Marco's prize is up there.
Then we'll have to watch our chance,
take them one by one up the back stairs...
and stick them
in that side bedroom closet.
Nobody's using that room.
All right, you guys handle it.
I'll tell the boss.
Boy, will he be tickled.
Him so broke and with $40,000 worth
of merchandise in an upstairs closet.
- You stick here, and I'll give you the office.
- Right.
What's the matter?
Run along out on the porch,
why don't you?
Nora, quit crabbing the party.
When you and me
worked at Coney Island...
you had the loudest voice
on the boardwalk.
Hey. Hey, Mike, come here.
Where have you been?
This is a fine time to take a fade
with all these people around here.
I couldn't help it.
Look, boss, I gotta talk to you.
Well, not now. Come on.
- Get busy waiting on these people.
- But this is important...
Mike, I know
just what you're gonna ask me...
and there's nothing doing, see.
That 50 smackers that I gave Gip...
was to be cut up
among you fellows, understand?
So come on.
Rustle up some drinks for these people.
- Yeah, I know you gave Gip...
- You heard me.
Get going before Nora catches you.
- You heard me, out on the porch.
- Oh, now, wait a minute, Mama.
Let The Singer alone.
May I please have a glass of water?
He's got a beautiful voice, hasn't he?
Say, do you know Jim Crawford?
You know,
The Singer sung for him one time...
eight hours straight without a stop.
Just think of that.
I don't dare.
Say, by the way, Singer,
where is our old friend, Jim?
- He's sick, boss.
- No kidding.
In a hospital in San Diego.
Oh, gee, that's tough.
Say, I got an idea.
Let's call him up and cheer him up, huh?
Richard, a chair. I'm going to faint.
Harold! Lefty!
Hello, long distance?
Listen, I want any hospital in San Diego
that's got Jim Crawford.
Hello, Jim. Hold on.
Say, come here, folks, will you?
The Singer is gonna sing
for Jim Crawford in San Diego.
Oh, you'll love this.
Say, is he really singing
to someone in San Diego, California?
And how. Why, once, Mr. Marco
had him singing to a man in Australia.
Ain't it wonderful?
The telephone, I mean.
I wonder if there's some place
where I can get a towel...
and some cold water for my head.
Upstairs, third door to your left.
We was just playing piggyback.
His mother always used to play it
with him.
Excuse me.
Say, what's the matter around here?
This house seems to be full of idiots
and lunatics!
Pop, you gotta learn to mix.
Excuse me.
Yeah, excuse me.
Oh, boy,
you can sing for my dough anytime.
- Isn't he marvelous?
- Yeah.
Oh, Sam, he's singing for Jim
in San Diego.
Hello, Jim, are you...
Oh, is that so?
Some dame just cut in
and said Jim don't care to hear no more.
Say, I wish we could get
that big fellow at Alcatraz.
He'd love this.
I don't think they'd leave him
come to the phone.
- Hey, boss.
- Yeah?
If you can get away from that phone
for a minute...
there's an important call for you
on the private phone in the library.
Oh. Excuse me, folks.
Come on.
- Hello?
- Hello, Remy? This is Post and Ritter.
We've just arrived.
We're stopping at the Shawford.
I guess you know
what kind of news we're bringing.
Well, well, well, you don't have to tell me.
I thought that you boys
and that frowzy bunch of directors...
would come around to my way of thinking.
Well, how much more time
you gonna give me?
I'm sorry to have to tell you, Remy...
that at the meeting of the board
this afternoon...
your note was definitely called in.
You mean to tell me that you gents
came all the way up here to tell me that?
We have all the papers with us.
And if the note isn't paid
by 12:00 tomorrow...
we have orders to proceed
with the foreclosure.
Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute,
will you? You gotta give me a chance.
That brewery's all I've got.
I'm gonna do big things with it.
Now, look, boys. It'd be different, see,
if I didn't have the dough, but I got it, see.
- Anything wrong, Remy?
- Come in here. I wanna talk to you.
Nora, how long has it been
since we've had a family conference?
Now, look, Remy,
if you're in trouble, I wish you'd tell me.
Nora, I've always been a good provider,
ain't I?
Ain't Marco always given you
everything he possibly could?
You don't have to ask me that.
What are you driving at, Remy?
Ain't I always worked hard?
Day and night, year in and year out?
Ain't I always come up the hard way?
Remy, what are you driving at?
Will you please come to the point?
You got me feeling
like I'm walking up a blind alley.
Well, it's like sticking a knife in my heart,
Nora, but I gotta tell you this.
I'm broke.
You mean...
You mean, you've lost the brewery and...
Yes, the brewery, the house in town,
the cars, everything.
Why, Remy, you're sweating
worse than a stuck hog.
Well, who wouldn't sweat?
I've been a sucker.
I've been a setup for a bunch
of tinhorn money lenders...
who was only too quick to dish it out
when I was making dough...
but pull back their ears when I need it.
They're holding a note
for a cheap $462,000...
and if it ain't paid by tomorrow at noon,
everything goes.
Look, Remy, we've always been partners.
If you need dough, take my jewelry.
Take every piece of it.
Well, Mama, I hate to tell you...
but for the past six months
you've been wearing phonies.
- Phonies?
- Yeah, I pawned the real ones.
- Why didn't you tell me?
- I thought I'd get them back any day.
Well, then get it some other way.
You've been in tough spots before.
You'll get out of this one.
You bet your life I will.
The trouble with Marco is,
he's been playing the other guy's game.
I've been trying to be legitimate,
and it ain't my racket.
I don't know the rules.
So I'm gonna play my own game.
Starting right this minute,
I'm gonna be illegitimate.
- Remy!
- Yeah, I know what I'm talking about.
It ain't too late, and I'm gonna make
a good beginning right now.
- What you gonna do?
- I'm going right out there.
I'm gonna grab me
Mary's boyfriend's old man...
and I'm gonna sell him
a half interest in the brewery.
Hey, Mike, where's Whitewood?
The old gent, I mean.
He was laying on the couch
until Myrtle spilled some wine on him.
Then I don't know where he ducked.
- Milk? Who's sick?
- Nobody.
The missus told me
to take it up to the orphan.
One side or lose a leg.
Come on, kid. Open up.
It's Mike with some milk.
If you don't want to get battled on...
take it back and bring me a bottle of beer.
All right, you can come down
and get it yourself.
Open it up, boy. Open it up.
Well, don't point it at me...
Oh, there you are.
Where've you been, old timer?
Say, I've been looking all over for you.
Nora wants to truck with you.
Mr. Marco, isn't there some place
where we can have a little talk privately?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Say, I was getting around to that myself.
Let's step right in here to the library.
Have a chair.
- Have a cigar?
- Thank you, not just now.
Take some home with you.
Smoke them later. You'll like them.
Look, got my name on them.
Nothing cheap about Marco, is there?
Here, take that one with you, too.
Mr. Marco,
let us come to the point at once.
I refer, of course, to the situation
between your daughter and my son.
You mean about their getting married?
Precisely. Naturally, I'm deeply concerned.
Well, from now on,
you don't have to worry anymore.
- I got good news for you.
- You have?
Yeah, I've decided to let them get married.
You have decided?
Yeah, I thought you'd be surprised.
What with your kid being a cop...
and me not knowing anything
about his family.
You infer that you accept us,
that you don't know who we are?
- I'm willing to take a chance.
- That's very gracious of you, indeed.
Hey, now, wait a minute. Now,
that ain't only as far as I'm gonna go, see.
Just to show you
that my heart's in the right place...
I'm willing to let you be a partner
in my business.
- Just what is your business?
- A brewery.
And seeing
how it's all gonna be in the family...
I'm willing to let you buy in easy.
- For just about how much?
- Oh, not much.
You know, just enough
to give you a rooting interest.
Say, about half a million.
Not much. Only half a million.
Well, I might let you press it a little.
Mr. Marco, I should like to say
that this is an experience...
that I shall never forget.
Now, wait a minute. Don't thank me.
Please don't do that.
The first thing you know,
you'll embarrass me.
Now, how about having
a little glass of beer?
Marco's Gold Velvet. It's the tops.
I ought to know. I make it.
- Oh really, I...
- Come on, now. Drink it, will you?
It's the best beer on the market.
Say, I got an idea.
I got my pictures on the bottles.
When you're my partner,
I'll put yours on the cans.
Go on, now. Drink it.
What's the matter? What's the matter?
What was in that glass?
Why, it's Marco's Beer.
What's the matter? Don't you like it?
It is positively the vilest,
most revolting stuff I have ever tasted.
What? You got the nerve
to tell Marco that his beer...
It is absolutely rotten.
Say, you say another word about my beer,
and I'll throw you right out that window.
That will be quite unnecessary.
I assure you, Mr. Marco...
I haven't got a penny
to put into your brewery...
and furthermore, I am going to remove
the Whitewoods and their police blood...
out of your house this very minute!
That's the kind of family
my daughter wanted to marry into.
Why, Mr. Whitewood, what's the matter?
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mrs. Marco...
but I'm afraid I'm going to have
another one of my fainting spells.
If I could just get a little fresh air.
You'll do nothing of the kind.
What you need is rest and a little quiet.
You come right upstairs with me.
Could I know just where we're going
to get this peace and quiet?
You bet your life.
You're going right upstairs
to the back bedroom...
and have a good night's sleep. Come on.
Doesn't like my beer.
Most revolting stuff he...
Why, it's delicious.
What's the matter, boss? Anything wrong?
- Where's Lefty?
- In the pantry, putting more beer on ice.
Come in, you guys, both of you.
- Come on. Drink this beer, all of you.
- Oh, boss, you know I don't drink beer.
I ain't drunk no beer
since I've been working for you.
Me neither, boss. My stomach.
Come on. You heard what I said.
Drink this beer.
Sure, sure, I'll try it. I like this beer.
What's the matter?
You don't look so good.
I'm all right now, boss.
I just got a stitch in my side
when I was drinking it.
Yeah, come on, you guys.
It's your turn now.
What's the matter? You look a little green.
I always turn a little green
this time of the year, boss.
Now, come on. Come on.
What do you think of it?
The beer, boss?
Well, that's what you just drunk, ain't it?
Sure, sure, it's beer all right.
It ain't bad, boss.
- Oh, it ain't bad, huh?
- No, it's pretty good beer.
Oh, pretty good. It ain't bad.
You know what I think?
You're all a bunch of cheap liars!
- I wouldn't say that boss.
- Why, it's the rottenest, vilest...
and most revoltingest stuff
you ever tasted, ain't it?
Come on, now. Speak up. Be on the level
with me. Speak up. Ain't it?
It's pretty bad, boss.
To tell you the truth boss,
it tastes like something that's turned.
Now, you, Mike, how do you feel?
Like I was cauterized.
Yeah, and yet you kept your mouths shut.
All the time, you guys knew that
Marco's Beer tasted like bottled shellac...
and yet you don't wise him up at all.
Not a peep out of you guys.
Yeah, you're supposed
to be Marco's friends...
and you don't wise him up at all.
We didn't want to hurt your feelings.
No, you rather see me go broke,
wouldn't you? And then in the gutter.
- Oh, no, boss.
- Yeah, but Marco ain't beat yet.
Now I know what's wrong.
Now I know why we ain't selling beer.
It's because we ain't got good beer.
What we need is somebody
who knows how to make beer. Good beer.
And starting right this minute...
I'm going to get myself
the best brewmaster in the country.
In the world!
And just you watch Marco go ahead.
- Ain't you forgetting something, boss?
- What?
That mortgage. You won't own
that brewery after tomorrow.
Yeah, that's right. Forgot that.
Who's that in the kitchen?
Look, boss. Look.
What is that, Douglas? Beer?
It ain't straw.
Well, now, look, Marco don't want
you should drink that no more.
Why not? We get it for nothing, don't we?
But it is not good for you, Douglas.
And Mr. Marco wants you
to watch your health...
so you'll be an athletic when you grow up.
Ain't that so, boss?
Yeah, Gip is right. Now you go on upstairs,
and Mike will bring you a sidecar.
I'll make it a double one, boss.
It'll save me some trips.
Look. What's this thing
sticking out of his pocket?
- Must be the beer. I ain't seeing right.
- A grand note!
- $1,000 all in one piece.
- Sure, my pockets are full of them.
What? Now, look. Look, Douglas.
Marco wants you should tell him
where you got all these.
Upstairs, in my room. I look under my bed,
and there's a whole suitcase full of them.
- Well, come on. Show us.
- Sure.
Hey, you got all day, for crying out loud!
- All day.
- Where? Where is it?
Gee, that's funny.
I left it right out in the middle of the floor.
Now, show me the money, will you?
That's all Marco's worried about.
Where is it?
Somebody must've shoved it
back under the bed. Here it is.
There it is. Do you think that's it?
Well, I'll be a knave!
Say, Sad Sam's name is on this pack.
Boss, don't you get the angle?
- What?
- This must be the bookies' dough.
The mob that knocked over that truck
brought that money up here.
That's it, sure.
While they wait here for me...
one of their own guys
bumps off the other four.
But just as he's gonna leave,
Gip and Lefty drive up...
so he's gotta duck
and leave this hot stuff here.
I figure there's at least $500,000 here.
That's what Sad Sam says was tooken.
Boss, you ain't broke no more.
What, you mean all this dough
belongs to Marco now?
Why not? You rented the joint, didn't you?
Nobody else knows about it, do they?
Now, wait a minute.
All this dough belongs to the bookies.
Yeah, but Marco's beginning
to see the light.
Here, you mugs, take this dough
downstairs to the library and stick with it.
Marco's gonna put over
the sweetest little job you ever seen.
- But, boss...
- Come on. You heard me.
Take it downstairs.
I've got to get to a telephone right away.
You heard him. Toss it in.
Look, lady, get me the Shawford Hotel.
I want to talk to Mr. Post and Mr. Ritter.
Yes. Who?
Oh, hello, Remy.
Well, that's exactly what I said.
You just better get over here right away.
You said it.
It certainly is most important, sweetheart.
- Hey, you got a pool table in this joint?
- No, it's too late for that.
You go to bed now.
You're a lifesaver, Douglas.
Now, listen, you guys...
if what Marco's gonna do goes over,
we'll all be out of the woods.
I'm expecting Post and Ritter. Get it?
- Them are the guys from the bank, ain't it?
- Right.
Now, as soon as they get here,
here's what I want you guys to do.
Hey, Mike, how about some more drinks?
Mike, where are you?
Hey, Kirk. Come here.
What's up?
Don't crack but I think I know
who stuck up the bookies' truck.
Say, that's the money wrapper
with your name on it.
- Yeah.
- Where'd you find it?
On the kitchen floor, just now.
Say, I'll bet Remy done that stickup.
Well, certainly, he did,
else how could this get here?
- He had no business doing that.
- No.
Of course, we're insured.
I know, but he shouldn't have done it.
- Is it nice to do that among friends?
- No, it ain't polite.
And him not saying a word to us about it.
I don't like him trying to outsmart us.
And he made out
like it was all news to him.
It's a bad sign,
trying to outsmart your friends.
Besides, there's a reward.
Say, I never thought of that.
Kirk, there ain't no two ways about it.
Much as we hate to do it,
we gotta put the law on him.
- You fellows wanted me?
- Yeah.
We got a job for you, copper.
We want you to put the arm
on Remy Marco.
- The arm?
- Arrest him, stupid.
You get the credit,
and we get the reward, see.
Arrest Mr. Marco? What for?
For sticking up the bookies' truck
this afternoon.
Mr. Marco, please. Mr. Post and Mr. Ritter.
Yeah, he's waiting for you's.
Come in. He's in the library.
But I can't do what you're asking me.
In the first place,
I don't think Mr. Marco likes me.
What's that gotta do with it?
Mr. Marco is a very impulsive man.
I don't think I want to arrest him.
But you're supposed to do your duty,
ain't you?
Yes, but I'm engaged to his daughter.
Most fellows would be glad
to put their father-in-laws in jail.
$60,000, $61,000...
Come in.
Them mugs...
Gents are here from the bank.
- $121,000, $122,000, $123,000.
- Hello, Remy.
Hello, boys. $124,000, $126,000.
Sit down, boys. $128,000, $129,000.
Got my note with you, boys? $134,000.
Remy, about that note of yours.
We've been thinking over that extension.
Well, what's the matter?
You've been screaming your ears off
about that small change...
for six weeks, pretty near.
Remy, you've always been
a good customer.
Well, here it is. Take it.
- What's the matter?
- Boss, I positively gotta speak to you.
- Excuse me, gents.
- Certainly, Remy.
What's the idea
of interrupting Marco like this?
I nearly got them hooked in there.
Boss, I just found out
old man Whitewood collapsed...
and the missus stuck him
in that back bedroom.
Well, it's okay with me
if she put him in the ice box.
But, boss, wait a minute. All night long,
we've been trying to tell you...
and every time you give us a busy signal.
Tell me what?
Those bodies are in the closet
in that room, Gallagher and Little Dutch.
You know, those bodies we found here.
- Are you drunk?
- No, boss, but they're up there.
We just took them away.
How did they get back?
They didn't walk, did they?
Say, is somebody getting fresh
with Marco?
Boss, we boys
brought them back ourselves...
but we didn't wanna put them
in the same room with Douglas.
We don't trust that Douglas.
Well, what's the idea
of bringing them back?
We just dealt them around
where they'd do some good.
They're worth 40 grand, boss,
the paper says. Dead or alive.
Why, you dopes.
You know I can't afford
to have those bodies found around here...
especially the condition they're in.
But for 40 grand, boss?
Yeah, for 40 grand. For 40 grand you'd ruin
my social reputation. You dopes.
But, boss, what'll I do
if they open the closet?
Well, you explain it to them.
- What will I say?
- Well, listen, I'm busy.
Well, explain to him how it's all natural
and okay and a big surprise to all of us.
Big surprise.
Now, let's get this over with.
- You got my note?
- Yes, Remy.
We wish you'd reconsider this.
I'd like to string along with you boys
and renew that note...
but Marco just can't forget
a couple of dirty cracks...
you made about Marco's credit.
You know, you hurt me, boys.
Oh, Remy, you're too big a man.
Yeah, but you hurt me.
You'll never know how much.
Come in!
Mr. Marco, can I see you a minute?
No, can't you see I'm busy?
Come on. Get out of here.
Go on. Scram.
What, is this a conspiracy or something?
I want a policeman.
Well, what about your board of directors?
You leave them to us.
We'll assume full responsibility.
Here. Here's a renewal for a year. Sign it.
You boys win.
You know,
that's Marco's one great fault. Sentiment.
I'm signing this, understand,
only because I love you.
Okay. M-A-Y-K-O. Marco.
That's it. Not bad, huh?
Remy, I knew you were too big a man
to hold a grudge.
I'm amazed at you, Remy,
thinking your credit wasn't any good.
Oh, well, forget it, pals. I guess...
it's maybe just because Marco never tried
to put anything over on anybody...
that makes him a little sensitive.
- You boys staying for the party?
- No, thanks. We'll run along.
Oh, well, that's too bad.
Come on. I'll show you to the door.
Robbers! Bandits! Police!
The whole room's full of robbers up there!
Just a minute, boys.
It's one of my guests.
He's had a little too much to drink.
And seeing as how he's very prominent...
I think it might be a little embarrassing
for him to see you.
So would you two boys
mind leaving by the window?
Would you mind doing Marco
that little favor?
Why, certainly, Remy.
- Right this way.
- We'll do anything to please you.
Right this way.
Opens on the driveway, see.
- Goodnight, Remy. Thanks a lot.
- Good night.
Goodnight. Pleasure was all mine, boys.
Pipe down. Pipe down. Now, one at a time.
Now, what's this whole thing about?
Mr. Marco, as an officer of the law,
I arrest you.
Why, you...
Oh, no, you don't.
I got something to tell you.
Right here in this bag is $500,000
that was stolen off the armored truck.
Now, you being a cop,
I think you ought to turn it in.
- Wait a minute, boss.
- Shut up.
Now, you.
What's the idea of you acting
like a hoodlum in Marco's home?
That closet upstairs, there's someone in it,
a lot of people. It's outrageous.
You must be dippy.
I go to the closet to hang up my coat...
and there are four of your friends
with guns.
Well, can you imagine that?
Can it be
that somebody's intruding on Marco?
One of them attacked me.
The rest of them waved their fists
and their guns at me.
Say, I got an idea. They must be the guys
that held up the truck.
- Sure.
- That's it, boss.
- The folks upstairs must be the bandits.
- Why, certainly.
- Say, they could be, at that.
- Let's get out of here.
Look here, young fellow, you're a cop.
Now here's your big chance.
Richard, my boy!
Richard, my son.
- Say, what do you think you're doing?
- Guarding the stairway.
Will you get a load of that?
He figures they're gonna leave
by the front door.
Say, now, listen, big boy, you wanna make
a big guy out of yourself...
- all of a sudden?
- How?
Then go up to that room
and start blazing away.
- But, Mr. Marco...
- Now, listen, you're a copper, ain't you?
Here's your chance
to be the biggest one in the country.
- Yes, I know.
- You go right up to that room...
and order them to come out of that closet
with their hands up.
But suppose they don't?
I'll lay you 500 to 1 they don't.
Well, if they don't or if they even hesitate,
you start popping.
Only don't try and open that closet door,
will you, or they'll shoot your ears off.
They're dead... shots.
Well, Mr. Marco, don't you think
we better wait for reinforcements?
I've already called the police.
Young man, you're wearing the uniform
of your country.
Well, anyways, your state.
You want these people to think
that you disgraced it?
He's right, my son. You are a Whitewood.
Why, certainly, you're gonna make
a big rep for yourself tonight, kid.
Come on. I'll go with you.
That's my son.
Well, don't apologize, pop.
You can't help it.
In there. Come on. Come on.
Right in there.
There. There's the closet.
Come out!
Come out with your hands up, or I'll shoot!
- Guess they ain't coming out.
- Well, what will I do?
I hate to kind of mess up this place,
but seeing as how it's a rented house...
you better start shooting.
Now, now, wait a minute.
Bring it over about 7 or 8 feet.
That's it. A little lower.
Give them a sixth just for good luck.
You know,
something tells Marco you got them.
Yeah, all four of them.
Oh, gee, must've been a strain
on you, huh?
Hey, what's the idea of waking me up?
I'm going back to the orphanage.
Now, look, Douglas, you go back to bed,
will you? Be a nice boy.
What happened to him?
Well, he's fainted.
He must have been nervous.
Hey, what are you trying to do?
We better crease him
to make it look good.
Oh, no, no, I wouldn't do that if I were you.
- Dick!
- I know it's a...
Richard, my boy, speak to me.
Speak to me.
Oh, that's all right, pop. He's okey dokey.
Just folded up from excitement.
- I wouldn't worry about it.
- What's going on here?
Well, this young fellow
lying here on the floor...
just got the stickup mob single-handed.
Biggest exhibition of nerve I ever seen.
One of them pretty near
crowned the sergeant.
- What's that?
- The one on the roof.
He almost fell on top of him.
Say that again.
His name is Innocence.
He was with the Little Dutch mob.
Slug through the window
got him in the shoulder...
knocked him off the roof
right into our hands.
Move over, mug,
and make room for Marco.