A Smile Like Yours (1997) Movie Script
1
Are you using
the Bohemian hibiscus
for Danny? It's $50 an ounce.
Desperate circumstances
call for desperate measures.
Ooh.
Wow. That's really nice.
It's, um... like, fruity yet...
Diabolical.
Wow, the Elysian sunflower's
a nice touch.
Mm. Are you going to be back
this afternoon?
Well, if this stuff works,
I won't even be
gone the whole hour.
Oh, like Danny needs perfume
for motivation.
No, this is a real test.
I'm going to be invading
some very sacred space.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Right on time.
Always.
He's, uh... up on 28.
Okay.
Here you go.
- What a gentleman.
- Yeah, that's me.
Thanks.
All right.
You guys going to be long?
As long as it takes.
Yeah. Long.
Avon calling.
Smell.
What is that?
It smells better right here.
- What?
- Yes.
Well...
Body temperature
releases the scent.
- Really.
- Mm-hmm. Sniff.
You know what I'm going to do?
For research purposes,
I'm going to...
Wow.
Wow, I just love your dedication
to science.
Step on over here
in my private office.
What is it with women
and elevators, anyway?
Beats the hell out of me.
Boy, would I love to find out.
Yeah.
A subtitle made possible by R3V0LV3R.
Damn.
Okay. It's okay.
So,
how'd the Giants do?
Won. They won five in a row.
We should go when they get back
from these away games.
Yeah?
Oh, don't forget about tonight.
No excuses.
We both agreed that date night
cannot be canceled,
and I have planned
something very special.
The architect's coming by today.
I may have to...
um...
...leave the meeting early
so that I can
make it home in time
for our special
once-a-month date night.
Listen, I've got to go.
Okay. Ooh, you're
quite messy, hon.
Bye.
Oh, can you go by the cleaners,
drop off that stuff?
Just say "Him-ho-tie-yan-ting-
yah-law."
That means, um, "Not too stiff.
Tomorrow, I pick up."
Him-ho-tine...
tine-yah-ting-yah-law?
Hon, it's him-ho-tie-yan-
ting-yah-law.
T-ting-yah-law.
Him-ho-tie-yan-ting-yah-law.
- Ting-yah-law.
- Ting-yah-law.
- Law!
- Law! Thank you.
Make sure you got 'em...
So, uh, you do it anyplace
interesting lately?
Your house with Julie.
Oh-ho, no wonder she's
been in such a good mood.
I mean, what is it
with you and Jennifer
and this spontaneity thing?
She's been trying to come up
with a... aphrodisiac
she can sell at the shop,
so she, uh...
she surprises me
in the weirdest places.
Well, that's too
much pressure for me.
I mean,
I need a little... warning
before the wife requires
my services.
Yeah, like a week, ten days?
Yeah, that'll do it.
You know, some of the guys think.
Jennifer's trying
to get pregnant.
You guys are talking
about my sex life.
No, we talk
about Jennifer's sex life.
I mean, we'd leave you
out of it if we could.
Admit it... I got
a great love life with my wife,
and it drives you guys crazy.
It does seem a little unnatural.
Feels very natural to me.
Ow!
Who the hell is that?
That is Lindsay Hamilton.
That's the architect who
designed this building?
Yeah.
I thought Lindsay was a man.
Well, if it is,
that's some damn fine makeup.
Hi, boys.
Uh, where can I find your boss?
Well, mine's at home
with the kids, but, uh...
you know, if there's something
special you want to do,
I could always call
and ask permission.
Cute, but I'm in a bit
of a hurry,
so if you could just point me
to Mr. Robertson...
I'm Danny Robertson. Hi.
Sorry.
Plans are up on 28.
I'll just wait down here.
That elevator really only
accommodates two comfortably.
By the way, my name is Steve.
Good old Steve.
I agreed to date night,
not to humiliate myself
in a karaoke bar.
Excuse me, sorry.
Right here, right here.
That's it.
T... This is a booth?
Oh, sure.
It's a Japanese booth.
Oh...
Oh, a Japanese booth.
Okay, one free song
with each order of sushi.
Mark selection on the card,
then you give it to me, okay?
Uh-uh... arigatou,
I'm pretty sure
not everybody in here's
as bad as we are, Jen.
I know, hon.
De... Well, have some sake.
Look, drink menu.
Hon, do you have a pen?
Oh, you're not going
to sing, are you?
Honey, we are going to sing.
Sakes are coming, hon.
You know, they're...
they're very good.
Yeah.
Yeah, the crowd
is really loving these songs.
Did you pick something good?
Yeah. Motown, hon.
Here.
Oh.
Next up is Danny and Jennifer.
Come on, hon,
we got to sing Motown.
Here we go.
Honey, this isn't Motown.
Love.
Love will keep us together.
Come on, hon.
Think of me, babe, whenever.
Some sweet-talking girl
comes along.
Singin' a song.
Don't mess around,
you just got to be strong.
- Just stop.
- Stop.
- 'Cause I really love you.
- 'Cause I love you.
Stop
I'll be thinking of you.
Look in my heart and let love...
- Keep...
- I love you.
I love you, too.
Oops.
Let's go, pal.
One moment, sir.
You reading a book?
Hi.
Hey.
Hey.
Your essential oil shipment
came in.
Really? Where?
Oh, thank God.
Okay.
Right.
Clearing apprehension.
Ooh, I really needed that.
What do you have
to be apprehensive about?
Well, I've got
this new neighbor.
I've been trying to get
his attention for weeks.
Finally, this morning,
he asked me
to bag my garbage tighter.
Hey, I know it's going
to be a challenge,
But I don't know, there's
something about this guy.
I really like him.
Do you know anything about him?
Yes, I do.
He's a mortician,
and he looks great in black.
That would be a job requirement.
Hey, don't be a smart-ass.
Honestly, I want to try
to get to know him more.
I want him to notice me.
Well, you could always
get naked
and put a tag on your toe.
Tried that.
What I need is
if you wouldn't mind mixing up
some of that perfume you made
for you and Danny.
And use up the Bohemian hibiscus
at $50 an ounce?
I'm going up
against formaldehyde.
I need the good stuff.
Okay, okay,
I'll do it when I get back.
Where you going?
More love in the afternoon?
No. I'm four days late.
But my pregnancy
test was negative.
I'm going to go see Dr. Felber.
He's always so comforting.
Is Danny... ejaculating?
What?
Is Danny ejaculating?
Of course.
Are you sure?
Do you actually see the result?
Are you thinking that my husband
is faking orgasm?
It is possible, you know.
You do it to us,
uh, so I've been told.
But that makes no sense.
Danny loves sex,
and he's not opposed
to having kids.
He just doesn't want the process
to take over our lives.
Jennifer, many young couples
get overwhelmed
by the stress
of trying to have a child.
A positive frame of mind
is just as important
as your physical health.
But I think positive.
I've always thought positive,
long before it was popular.
That's the way.
Convince yourself.
Now is the time,
this is the month.
You will conceive.
But are you sure
there's nothing wrong
with me physically?
Have you run every test
possible?
Don't let your insurance company
hear you ask me that.
Please, I have to be sure.
So that I can be positive.
Hey, Danny,
what are you building
over there?
Holly, I have no idea.
Danny, it's not such a big deal.
We said I'd get off the pill,
I got off the pill.
But building a nursery
is not the next logical step.
It goes no pill, pregnancy,
then nursery.
But I'm going to be pregnant.
See, that's the whole point.
It's positive thinking.
Yeah, but that's not the point.
The point is we said
we weren't going to think
about this at all.
We said we were going to...
we're just going
to let nature take its course,
and if it happens,
then great, it happens.
Then we build the nursery.
But sweetheart...
So, how are things going
with the mortician?
Thank you.
He happens to be out of town.
He's at a cremation convention
this weekend.
Oh. Sounds like
a very hot time.
Will you stop
with the mortician jokes?
You're killing me.
How's Operation Positive going?
Thank you.
Well, negative, so far.
Well, maybe you ought to think
about adding another layer
of positive action.
Thank you.
I saw this in the Chronicle,
Hi. How are you?
Great. Say, Danny,
I want you to know
when your baby comes,
I'm available for baby-sitting.
I know I'm only ten,
but I'm very responsible
for my age.
I'm captain of my soccer team,
and I almost made straight "A's"
last report card.
And my rates are
very competitive.
That's quite impressive, Holly,
but I don't think we're going to
be needing a baby-sitter soon.
Mr. Babyproofer says
it's never too early
to start thinking
about the safety of your baby.
Holly, who's Mr. Babyproofer?
He just left,
but he's coming back.
He says your deck is an accident
waiting to happen.
Thank you so much.
Thank you very much.
Jen, what's wrong?
I just got my test
results from Dr. Felber.
Yeah?
I'm fine.
You're fine?
Oh, honey,
I'm a little confused.
Help me here so I know
what to spray you with.
Well, if it's not me,
it must be Danny.
Oh.
Well, now, you're just
jumping to conclusions.
Just because there's nothing
wrong with you
doesn't mean there's something
wrong with Danny.
Maybe your timing's
just been off.
Nancy,
for the last six months,
our rhythm has been better
than a percussion section.
Well... well, maybe
it's just what Dr. Felber said.
You're just putting
too much pressure on yourself.
Yeah, you just got to take
some of that pressure off.
You got to just... breathe.
Just breathe, yeah.
You just got to breathe.
Is this like Lamaze?
It's time you became familiar
with some nontraditional methods
of improving your fertility.
Jennifer... whose are these?
Um, they're yours.
No. No, no, I... I can't
be dangling loose
in boxer shorts, honey.
I work around power tools.
Come on, honey, I bet half
the guys at work wear boxers.
Yeah, and you can tell
who they are.
They've always got their hands
in their pockets, walking around
adjusting themselves.
Where are my Jockeys?
I got rid of them.
You got...
Well, boxers are so much sexier.
Jennifer, I wear Jockeys.
I mean, that-that's what I do.
That's what I've always done.
I mean,
it's-it's really who I am.
Well, just...
set yourself free, hon.
I got to rinse.
Holly?
Hi.
Hi.
- Two dozen, right?
- Right.
Thanks, Jennifer.
My soccer team loves
your peanut butter cookies.
Oh. Anytime.
We've got another game
this Thursday.
Well, then I better be baking
some cookies.
Thanks.
It's a good batch.
They're all crispy
on the bottom.
The kids always love
your cookies.
Wait up.
Damn.
Mind if I join you?
No. Not at all.
Have a seat.
Oh, um, actually,
would you mind
if I just borrowed
Danny for lunch?
I have a few things
I need to talk to him about.
Oh, sure, yeah.
I was just finishing up.
So... there you go.
Uh, I'll, uh, meet you
up top in half an hour.
Aren't you going
to eat your lunch?
Oh, it's empty.
I thought the prop
might make things
a little more comfortable.
I didn't know
you were uncomfortable.
Yeah.
You make me a little nervous.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
You make me a lot nervous.
What did you want to talk about?
A job.
What kind of job?
In Seattle.
There's an old building
that a group of investors
plans to renovate,
and it only has four elevators.
It needs to have at least six,
and they need to move faster
than the people walking
the stairs.
A lot of elevator companies
up there in Seattle.
I meant what I said
the other day.
There's not a lot of
honest subs out there.
I'll let you know.
Thank you for the offer.
You're welcome.
I'll be right back.
I'm going to go downstairs
and get a drink.
Don't go to sleep.
I'm almost ready.
Ready.
Two pages,
and I finish this chapter.
I'm finished.
Wow.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, no.
I have something very special
planned for you tonight.
Just lay back.
Hmm.
God, it's been a while
since you did this.
Yeah.
It's like riding a bike, hon.
You don't forget.
Those boxers do slide off easy.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, God!
What the hell are you doing?
I-I just heard
it was supposed to turn you on.
No more daytime television.
Okay.
Sorry. It's all gone.
Okay? Again?
Just wait.
Ready?
Okay.
Hey.
Yeah.
If you have any matches,
I want them now.
- Ow.
- Easy, easy.
We usually prefer
to collect the semen sample
ourselves.
Do you need this back?
Oh, no thank you.
Real butter's better for you.
I know this isn't
the usual procedure,
but it's so hard for Danny
to get away from work.
He wanted me to
bring in this sample
and get the results.
Did you run all the tests?
Yes. I've... I ran the tests.
Jennifer, I'm not
very comfortable
going over these results
without Danny present.
It's highly unusual.
It's not very ethical.
Well, Danny and I
don't keep any secrets
from each other.
Yeah.
I'm a little disturbed
by some of these results.
I'd like to make an appointment
for Danny and you
with a friend of mine
who's a fertility specialist.
Have an expert run some tests.
Of course.
I just have to check
Danny's schedule.
Hi.
How was your day?
Good.
You know, I was thinking today,
I'm-I'm fine with all this...
baby stuff, you know?
If you, if you need those things
to help you think positive
about getting pregnant,
I mean, it's-it's fine by me.
Now, personally,
yes, I think you might
be overdoing it a bit, but
I'm willing to play along,
if it works for you.
Dear Mr. Ricardo,
My husband and I are going
to have a blessed event.
I just found out
about it today,
and I haven't told him yet.
I heard you sing a number
called 'We're Having a Baby,
My Baby and Me.'
If you will sing it for us now,
it will be my way of
breaking the news to him.
Isn't that wonderful?
Of course I'll do it for you.
Sure.
Hey... Oh, wait a minute.
I got a wonderful idea.
Why don't we bring the couple
up here,
and I'll sing it
right to them, huh?
Come on, let's bring them up
on the floor.
Come on, folks.
Come on. We're just trying
to wish you luck.
Who is it?
No?
No?
Hiya, honey.
Hi.
Oh...
Honey, oh, honey.
Honey, no.
Yes.
- Really?
- Yes.
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, you didn't
give me a chance.
- Are you kidding me?
- No...
It's me.
I'm gonna be a father.
How about that?
I want you to meet my mother.
I mean, my wife, my wife.
Do your song.
What?
Do the baby song.
Do the baby song.
San Francisco Center
for Fertility.
Hi.
We're the Robertsons.
We have an appointment.
We want to have a baby.
Isn't that nice?
Now, fill out
everything in detail.
Including the questionnaire
on your sexual history
and past drug use.
When you're done,
just stay seated.
I'll call you.
I-I'm sorry.
This is kind of, uh...
It's kind of personal stuff.
I'll be happy
to let you read mine.
Don't say a word.
I wondered what happened
to that woman
from One Flew Over
the Cuckoo's Nest,
Surviving sperm
begin the journey
up the uterus
to the Fallopian tubes.
Meanwhile, inside one
of the two ovaries,
an egg is ripening.
The ripened egg bursts out
of the ovary,
an event called "ovulation."
Propelled by tiny
finger-like projections
on the ends
of the Fallopian tubes,
the egg sweeps
into one of the tubes
to await fertilization.
That comes when a surviving
sperm begins to beat
against the clear membrane
that surrounds the egg.
As soon as one
of the sperm breaks through,
the membrane toughens, so that
no other sperm can penetrate...
Okay.
How you doing?
First time?
It's our third clinic.
Ten years.
$50,000.
Three tubal pregnancies.
Scarred Fallopian tubes.
Gonorrhea in '89.
PID.
Pelvic inflammatory disease.
Very painful.
Welcome.
I'm glad you're here.
Starting this process is
a big step
for couples.
We're pleased
that you've chosen us
to help you.
Overcoming infertility can be
time-consuming,
expensive,
not to mention,
a little embarrassing
at times.
Yeah, uh, time out here.
I'm-I'm sorry.
Uh, there's a mistake.
We're not infertile.
Jennifer just went off the pill
a few months ago,
and her... her doctor thought
it'd be a good idea for us
to come down here
and get a...
a couple of physicals
before we really,
really start trying
to get pregnant,
so you-you should
check that chart there.
I see.
Mmm.
Oh.
Well, if that's the case,
I think it is better
that we get started right away.
Yeah.
Anatomy.
Nature.
Soft porn.
Not-so-soft porn.
Deviant behavior.
Women with men.
Women with women.
Miscellaneous.
Clean linens here.
Soiled linens there.
Lotions and creams here.
Remote control here.
And the emergency
call button here.
Come in.
Hi. I'm sorry to bother you,
but there's
a problem with Danny.
He's been in there
more than 20 minutes.
Oh, well, that's not that long
for him.
Aren't you the lucky one.
Yeah.
Hon, it's me.
Um...
Wow.
Pretty nice spread, huh?
I particularly like the section
on deviant behavior.
Oh. I'm sorry.
I know it's hard for you.
No. That's...
kind of the problem.
It's been a while
since I've done this
without you.
I know.
Hey, look at this.
Good morning.
You have no idea how
good a morning it is.
Last night, I had the most
incredible sex of my life.
With the mortician?
I have never met a man who knows
so much about a woman's body.
Well, he has had his hands
on a few.
We go out to dinner, right?
After dinner, he asked
if I want to see his business.
Forensic foreplay.
And I'm, like,
"Do I want to see his business?"
And then I think, if I really
like this guy, and I do,
I'm going to eventually
have to see his business.
We've had a few glasses of wine,
I think, what the hell,
so I say, sure.
Before I go in, I dab on
a little of that perfume
of yours.
Next thing I know, bottles
are crashing to the floor,
clothes are being ripped off,
and there's cold steel
pressing against my bare back.
The cold steel, mind you,
of an embalming table.
Could you just die?
Nancy.
I mean, it was
that perfume of yours.
You really got to go up in there
and mix up a batch right away.
We're selling that stuff.
Yeah. Right away.
I'm telling you, I
need it tonight, too.
I'm afraid the test result
are not good.
I knew Dr. Felber
was keeping something from me.
Honey, we said
we wouldn't get emotional.
Jennifer, it's not you.
See that, it's...
What do you mean by that?
We have carefully tested you
for potency, consistency,
count and visibility,
and the result
are not very encouraging.
Wh-What do you mean
not very encouraging?
I... I am potent.
He is very potent.
Extremely potent.
There's a mistake
down at your lab
or a contamination problem.
A contamination problem.
Like the police DNA labs,
they do it all the time.
Did you check that
little "use by" date?
It was no mistake.
You have what we refer to
as "lazy swimmers."
Please... sorry...
don't call them that.
You are producing sperm,
they are just not making it
to the mother's egg.
Well, give me something.
Some... vitamins or steroids.
You can inject me
with steroids.
I mean, something to make them
better swimmers.
I think it is important
that we consider alternative
method to get Jennifer pregnant.
I made a decision.
I'm going to give you
one of my kids.
Maybe if they weren't
fully grown
and they looked more like Julie.
Please, look,
I know they're a bit past prime
for adoption,
but I think this is the only way
I'm ever going to get the little
bastards out of my house.
I'll give you
the pick of the litter.
It's tempting,
but I kind of wanted
to start from scratch.
Form one in my own
disgusting image, you know?
Well, suit yourself.
But a lot of it's overrated.
Come on, Steve.
People say that
the best moments of their lives
are, you know,
with their children.
Well, those friends
should also tell you
that children are
also responsible
for the worst
moments of your life.
Would you stop it?
No, I'm telling you.
Wait till you have a daughter,
this beautiful
little bundle of joy
with a ponytail and freckles,
a vision who stares
into your eyes
with love and admiration,
who begs you to read her a
story before she goes to bed
or take her for a
walk in the park,
a little person
whose skin is so soft,
you can't believe it's real.
I mean, she's perfect.
And then, one day, when
she's about... 15 or 16,
she's going to walk
through your front door
with a pimple-faced little shit
with 20 earrings
and zero manners
and she's going to proceed to
tell you how much she loves him
because he reminds
her so much of you.
Now, this, my friend,
will be one of the worst
moments of your life.
And boys are worse.
You see, the moment
your son is born,
it is inevitable
that he will be responsible
for the most depressing day
of your life.
That's the day that
that son of yours
brings home a girl
that you're attracted to.
The whole process
is so unnatural.
I mean, there's doctors
and nurses and technicians.
Yeah, I've never been
comfortable with group sex.
I just got to stop
worrying about it
and think about
the big picture, you know?
I got to pee before I
drive across that bridge.
I don't know
how I'm going to pay for it.
I mean, the woman says
it could be a half dozen times
till we're successful.
I can barely cover
the first round
of fertilization.
After that,
we're over at your house
borrowing your
and Julie's turkey baster.
Just think Seattle.
What about Seattle?
Old building,
Lindsay Hamilton,
big payday.
She's been after you
for weeks to take that job.
Now, see,
there's something very...
very dangerous, I think,
about Lindsay Hamilton
and Seattle.
Oh, don't flatter yourself.
Me and Lindsay Hamilton...
that would be dangerous.
You got a little bit
on your boot there.
Have you really tried group sex?
Eh, only if you count two hands.
Lazy...
fucking...
...swimmers.
Mmm.
Hi.
I'm glad you're home.
Promise me something.
Huh?
Anything.
When we finally have a baby,
it'll have a smile like yours.
Love you.
Okay...
Almost there.
Yeah.
Tell me I'm better in
bed than this thing.
Oh, there's no comparison, hon.
Oh.
Now you may feel
this a little bit.
Oh.
Just relax.
Oh.
Now, relax.
Relax.
Can you feel it cold?
All right, almost done.
Almost done.
All right.
We're finished.
Wasn't so bad, really.
Now what?
Now,
we wait and see if
the pregnancy hold.
In the meanwhile,
don't let this
thing run your life.
- No.
- No.
Mm-mm.
Hi, John.
It's Richard.
Listen, I want you to check
on that little shop
on California
that we talked about.
It's busy, yeah.
Okay, listen, you just got
to relax a little bit now.
I mean, this is just
a very preliminary meeting.
They just want to talk to us
about the formula.
Just kind of get to know us
a little bit,
that sort of thing.
It's no big deal.
Mm-hmm. If it's so casual,
why did they call
three times to confirm?
All right.
Let me just do a little.
Okay, good.
Okay. Let's just...
Let's just... come on.
All right? All right?
Better.
Just a casual,
get-to-know-you chat, huh?
Well, maybe it's
not our meeting.
Ladies.
Welcome.
I'm Richard Halstrom.
You must be Ms. Tellen.
Oh, well, that's right.
Hi. And you must be
Mrs. Robertson.
Yes. Hello.
Please, come.
I've asked our executive
committee to join us,
just in case
the conversation gets serious.
Oh, God, this is our meeting.
Everyone, I'd like you
to meet Mrs. Robertson,
and Ms. Tellen.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Right this way.
Here you are.
Thank you.
Hi.
Please, sit down.
- Us.
- Okay.
I hope it wasn't too much
of an inconvenience
for you to come
on such short notice.
No.
No.
Not at all.
We've been watching
your little shop
for quite some time.
What you've done down there
is very impressive.
We're particularly
impressed with
that new perfume of yours.
What do you call it?
Seventh Scent.
Ah...
that's a wonderful name.
Great for marketing.
Well...
the reason we've asked you
here today is simple:
We'd like to buy Seventh Scent.
No kidding.
I have taken the liberty
of drawing up a term sheet
that I think you'll
find quite attractive.
Please.
This is a very interesting
first offer.
That is quite a bit more
than a first offer,
Mrs. Robertson.
Well, then, I guess
you won't be needing
your executive
committee this afternoon.
Thank you.
Come on.
Oh, no, put that away.
We won't be needing that,
we're way too far apart
to be able to make this deal.
Are you sure?
They're really nice.
Put it down.
Wait a minute, what
happened in there?
Did your contract say $100,000?
Because I know that's
what my contract said.
Hold on... did you see the people
around that table?
Believe me, if they'll
pay us $100,000 today,
they'll pay us
$200,000 next week
and give us
profit participation.
Crowded.
Sorry.
Floor...?
Are you sure?
Pretty sure.
Oh, God.
You don't exactly
inspire confidence
as my elevator expert.
Well, they told me you're
on five and a half, so.
I was actually looking for you.
Oh, the first good news
I've had all day.
Yeah, I was, uh, thinking
I might be able
to squeeze that job in
up in Seattle.
But I'll need more money.
Ten percent more.
Done.
We should go up there right away
for you to look at the building.
Uh, sooner the better.
Yeah, I actually would like
to go up there alone.
It's kind of my style.
I like to see a building
by myself the first time.
You know, kind of get a, um,
feel for the place, see if I...
connect with the building,
that sort of thing.
Connect with the building.
Yeah. Uh-huh.
Let me know when you want to go.
I'll have my office
make the arrangements.
Sounds great. Thanks.
You're never going
to believe what happened.
Hey, I got some great news
- at work today.
- Okay.
- I'm sorry, you go first.
- You go first.
No, you.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
Uh, I... I think I have
a way to pay for the, uh...
...clinic bills.
- Really? How?
- Yeah.
The architect on this job
offered me a building
up in Seattle.
It starts
before this one finishes,
and I saved them some money
so I gave them a rate...
I'd, uh...
...I'd go up in the next
uh, you know...
week or so,
and if everything pans out,
our financial problems
are solved.
Well, that's great, honey.
Thank you.
Yeah.
It was... what happened to you?
Oh, well, uh, today,
- at the shop...
- Yeah...
...we sold 100 bottles
of Seventh Scent.
It was out first
hundred-bottle day.
100 bottles, that-that stuff,
it's-it's starting to take off.
Yeah, it really is.
Dinner is almost ready.
I know you're anxious,
so I'll get right to it.
We did not succeed
the first try.
I know you're disappointed.
We should try again right away.
Jennifer, I'm going to prescribe
a fertility drug for you.
I thought
we were going to concentrate
on the in-vitro.
We are,
but there's always a chance
that you might get pregnant
the conventional way.
You're still practicing
the conventional method,
aren't you?
Uh...
- Yeah. Of course.
- Yes.
Yes, we are.
We're conventional about
every night of the week,
I think.
Good.
I'm going to write
that prescription,
and Danny, I need you
to check in with Nurse Wheeler.
We need another sample.
Go, stud.
You might want to check
out that new video,
Romancing the Bone,
Danny? Danny, the
clinic just called.
They said you're late
for your appointment.
Damn it.
I got to go.
If I'm not back in 45 minutes,
send help.
You've only got five minutes.
What?
I'm locking up at 6:00 sharp.
You're not the last
man I'm seeing tonight.
Should I just meet you
down at the nurse's station?
I'll be right here.
30-second warning.
Well, maybe we should take
a couple of months off,
kind of chill out
and then try again.
Remember, this may take
a couple of visits.
It doesn't always work
the first time.
Now don't say that.
You know important it is
for us to think positive.
Yeah. Sure. Whatever.
Yeah, smile.
Now, d-don't-don't do that.
Don't... don't do that.
Billy, I've told you
never to talk to strangers.
Unbelievable.
Cute kid, lady.
Well, I, uh,
need to get back to the shop.
Yeah, I should, uh,
probably get back, too.
So, I'll see you tonight?
Yeah, yeah, I'll-I'll, uh...
Maybe I'll pick up
some Chinese, or...
Sure. That'd be great.
Yeah.
So I'll see you then.
All right.
Bye.
Don't run too far ahead.
Okay!
Oh! Finally we can call it
a day!
Gosh, success is hard work.
Hey... cheer up.
Everything's going to work out.
I hope so.
I'm just handling things
so badly with Danny.
I just want so badly
to be a mom.
You will be,
and you'll be a great mom.
I hope so.
I'm having trouble
being a good wife.
I'm not sure I can handle both.
Well, it's a lot easier
handling a two-year-old
than it is a husband.
I know because, of course,
I've had neither...
...of them.
Aw...
Thanks for being
such a great friend.
Aw...
It's perfect, as usual.
Well...
I want to thank you ladies
for accepting my
lunch invitation.
I was a little worried
you might not be
willing to accept,
because of our first encounter.
Well, we're always
willing to discuss
a legitimate business
opportunity, Mr. Halstrom.
We just didn't think your first
offer was good enough.
You made quite an impression
on the room.
None of us had ever been
one-upped quite like you did it.
She was pretty great,
wasn't she?
I mean, God,
I would have taken the offer.
Well, as I'm sure
Mrs. Robertson already knows,
it's a very good thing
for you that you didn't.
I have an improved
proposal to make.
This one I think you'll
find worth reading.
We're prepared to pay
each of you $250,000,
plus a very fair royalty
for every bottle
sold in perpetuity.
Define "very fair royalty."
Uh, 17 and a half percent
gross sales,
plus escalators and success.
And what about spin-off products
using the name?
Oh, you'd control the name,
but we handle all production
under the same terms.
And for products
that you do not manufacture?
Well, we'll negotiate
that deal together
and split the royalty
50-50.
And if we do not agree
on the deal?
Uh, well...
we'll concede to your judgment.
What about
additional fragrances
under the Seven Scent brand?
Uh, we, um...
we have to have them.
But I-I would agree
that, uh, the royalty
will be slightly higher
for new fragrances...
especially if they have
similar side effects.
Well... I think
this is something
our executive committee
would consider.
We'll take it
under advisement immediately.
That's good news.
To two very beautiful women.
And to the scent
that will make them rich.
Oh!
Oh!
I'm so sorry.
Sorry.
Ms. Hamilton is running
a few minutes late.
She'll join you shortly.
This is quite a place.
Thank you, sir.
Do you take those
two-for-one dinner coupons?
Don't get up.
They loved you in Seattle.
I might be able to get you
a little more
than that ten percent raise.
Well, thank you, uh... for this.
This was really, uh...
Dinner was great.
This was really nice.
Oh, no, thank you.
No, you've really been
a savior to me.
I'm glad you finally let me
take you out to dinner.
So...
Would, uh...
would you like some dessert?
Uh... you know, I...
Actually, I think
I'm gonna have to, uh...
to-to pass.
It's ge... It's getting late.
Oh, are you sure?
Uh, oh, yeah. I'm sure.
The tiramisu, you know,
is so good...
Yeah, I'll tell you what.
I'll send the dessert cart
over for you, okay?
They pour the espresso on it...
Yes, yes! I gotta go.
It's really...
Gotta run.
Danny?
A little more this way!
Could be any Danny Robertson,
for God's sakes.
Any Danny Robertson?
Any Danny Robertson.
Any Danny Robertson?
All right, look.
There's gotta be an explanation.
Maybe the doctor made
a mistake with the bill.
A mistake?
I don't think so.
There was a...
graph charting my
freezability levels.
Hey, look...
it doesn't make sense.
How in the world
could she have you analyzed
even before you go
to the fertility clinic?
And why?
I don't know why.
But I think I figured out how.
And even you
don't want to hear this one.
All right, look.
Before you do something
you'll regret, talk to her.
You and Jennifer
are great together.
You don't want something stupid
to happen
over a misunderstanding.
You boys gonna come out
and play?
They're holding up
the meeting for you.
Just coming.
This is a meeting about what?
How the elevator goes up,
or how the elevator goes down?
Hey, Steve, can you, uh,
can you cover for me?
There's somebody I need
to have a little... talk with.
Yeah, sure.
Catch up with you guys
a little bit later, huh?
Okay.
Anything I can do to help?
No, I'm okay.
I meant with Danny.
I don't think so.
That's a little
sexist, isn't it?
What?
The assumption that a woman
can't just be a friend to a man.
Oh, I'm sure if you wanted to,
you could just be his friend,
but I'm just a little worried
that's not all you want.
You know, when it comes
to a woman like you...
we're all just boys.
My guys told me
come back tomorrow morning.
7:00 a.m.
Is Danny meeting us there?
I haven't told him.
I know, I know.
I'm going to tell him soon.
It's just that
he's been so down
about this business
with the clinic,
and I think the only
thing keeping him going
is that he's earning
the money to pay for it.
I just don't want
to take that away from him.
Good intentions, bad decision.
Come on. We better get going.
Richard will be here
any minute.
What are you doing?
Uh, no big deal.
Just going to Seattle
for a couple of days.
I could go with you.
Huh.
No.
It would be better
if you didn't.
I should have told
you about the shop.
Do you realize
that in all the time
I've known you,
I've never once thought about
the idea of you lying to me?
Ever.
I'm sorry, Danny.
I see.
Truth's a hard thing to hide,
isn't it, Jennifer?
I'm sorry, I'm probably
confusing you, right?
Did I mention that I found
Dr. Felber's bill
for my test that you never
even told me about?
I didn't mention that, did I?
First my potency, now my memory.
You didn't have to lie to me,
Jennifer.
I love you enough
to handle the truth...
whatever it is.
When will you be back?
When you're ready.
We are now boarding.
TWA flight 514 to San Diego.
Is everything okay?
You seem a little distracted.
No, I'm fine.
Okay. Do you mind
holding my boarding pass?
I'm just going to run
to the ladies' room.
Sure.
Hi.
I'm glad
I caught you before you left.
Jennifer,
what are you doing here?
Well, I wanted to say good-bye.
I wanted to wish you luck.
Thank you.
I've done a lot of
thinking since you left.
You're right.
You can handle the truth.
And I've missed you.
I missed you, too.
I'm back.
Jennifer, this is,
uh, Lindsay Hamilton,
the... the architect.
Lindsay, this is...
- Jennifer.
- The wife.
Oh, nice to meet you.
Uh, Danny's told me
so much about you.
Really?
He's told me nothing about you.
May I have your attention,
please?
TWA's flight 611 to Seattle
is now ready
for passenger boarding.
Please have your boarding pass
out and ready
for the flight attendant
as you enter the aircraft.
I'm going to go ahead and board.
Um... take your time
saying good-bye.
It was very nice to meet you.
You son of a bitch.
What?
Is there really even
a building in Seattle?
Oh, God, are you...
Are you suggesting
I made all this up?
To get on an airplane with
some leggy architect... yeah,
that's what I'm suggesting.
Oh, just because you've been
such a wonderful liar doesn't
mean it comes so naturally
to everyone, all right?
This is the final boarding call
for TWA flight 611 to Seattle.
Everyone must be on board now.
Have a good flight.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
So the outside still out there?
You've been staring out there
like you're lost.
You ever been
to Washington before?
So I'm going to head out to
the job site this afternoon.
You sure you don't want to come?
Oh, no, I have a few things
I need to do here first.
I'll check you in
and leave your key
in an envelope
at the front desk,
okay? See you in a while.
Hello?
Oh, hi.
I didn't hear you come in.
I went ahead
and ordered something for us.
It always seems to
take room service
so long to get here,
even in a hotel like this.
I thought you might be hungry
after a long day.
So what... how long were
they... were they there?
Um, they were there
for a little while.
Said hello,
shook my hand and, uh...
Surprised to see you, though.
Almost as surprised
as maybe you were.
I think.
I'm a little
uncomfortable with this.
Well, I've decided that we
shouldn't be nervous anymore.
I'm married.
Doesn't look like things
have been going that well.
Is it still sore?
You're not going to leave
before dessert again, are you?
I don't think anybody's going
anywhere in this weather.
Would it surprise you to learn
that I actually planned this
storm so we'd get stranded here?
You're used to getting your way,
aren't you?
My way is usually the best way.
Seattle information, please.
Hello?
Hello,
is-is Danny Robertson there?
Um... yes, uh, but he's
in the shower right now.
Can I take a message for him?
Is this Lindsay,
the, uh, architect?
Yes, it is.
Uh, who is this?
This is Jennifer,
the... the wife
and-and that would be great
if you could take
a message for me.
Why don't you tell Danny
that he can come home anytime
because I'll be out of the house
this afternoon.
- Thank you.
- Jennifer, listen...
Did I hear the phone?
Yes.
You didn't answer it, did you?
I'm sorry. I was asleep.
I wasn't thinking.
How much?
That'll be $47.50.
Aren't you guys regulated?
Hey, I told you not to come
out here in the first place.
Only an idiot would fly
on a day like today.
That's $50.
Can you help me with my bag?
Sure.
Attention, all passengers,
flight 472 to Sacramento
has been canceled
due to bad weather.
Haven't quite seen a storm like
this before, have you?
You wouldn't have any flights
to San Francisco, would you?
Welcome to Econo Air.
I'm Kathi... with an "I."
And of course we do.
We have a flight leaving
for San Francisco in 30 minutes.
Great.
In fact, we have flights
between Seattle
and the City by the Bay
every hour on the hour,
seven days a week.
At Econo Air, we pledge
to make your San Francisco
experience
something you'll never forget.
That... that's terrific.
Here you go.
We only accept cash.
Okay.
How much?
That'll be $103.11.
A hundred... and three.
And, uh...
can I... owe you a penny?
There. Keep it.
I need to check one bag.
Oh, you'll load that yourself,
on the plane.
Excuse me,
you want to take my ticket?
Welcome to Econo Air.
I'm Kathi...
With an "I."
How did you know that?
Do I know you?
Ma'am, I need to get through.
I could give a rat's ass.
Jennifer?
Honey, are you there?
Jennifer?
Jennifer?
Jennifer...
if you're there, pick it up.
Aha.
Hello, Martha.
Hello, Daniel.
No, she's not here.
I know.
Well, I've been expecting you.
Come on in.
There's coffee in
the living room.
I'll go get us a treat.
Play that funky music,
white boy.
If that wasn't a photo op,
there was never one.
Well...
All right.
I'm ready.
Ready for what?
For your confession.
I'm sorry, what is it
that I'm confessing?
Oh, to your tawdry affair.
My tawdry affair?
Come on, Daniel.
If I'm going to be
at all helpful
in straightening out this mess,
I have to know everything.
Every...
sordid little detail.
Okay?
We should talk.
Now, what could we possibly
have to talk about?
The truth, for starters.
Okay, yes, I did go up
to Seattle
with Lindsay Hamilton.
But it was business.
She's an architect.
Mm-hmm.
And a very beautiful one,
I understand.
So lucky for you.
Must have made going back
to the drawing board
much less of a chore, huh?
Martha, we were working
on a building.
But what were you building
in the hotel suite?
I didn't say I wasn't trying
to seduce him.
Listen... I pulled out
all the stops.
Champagne, strawberries,
candlelight dinner.
Didn't work.
It was a...
very humbling experience.
And I don't do humble very well.
Why didn't Danny tell me this?
It's your daughter
who's having an affair
with some cosmetics guru.
My daughter is not
having an affair.
My God.
Why would she do that
when sex with you
is so fantastic?
She talks to you
about our sex life?
Constantly.
Who do you think suggested
Candlestick Park?
Her father and I
scored there many times.
Martha, I don't think
I want to hear about this.
Yes, you do.
You should call her, you know.
She told me not to.
Since when has that stopped
you from anything?
I'm just not sure I'm ready.
What's the problem?
Transformer blew up on 20
and I got the electrician
up there.
Did you call the, uh,
contractor?
Oh, he's on his way.
He's mad as hell.
All right, I'm going to head
down to the basement,
check out the transformer.
I'll see you on 28.
No. I don't want anything to do
with sparks.
Sparks?!
Where's the fire?
It hasn't started yet.
I thought maybe you'd
like something to eat
before taking on
that loose connection.
Well, I think we'd better
get right to that connection.
I'm so sorry, Danny.
I'll never lie to you again.
Not even a little white one.
You won't have to.
I promise.
Listen, I want to be
a dad, Jennifer.
I'll back to that... clinic.
Is Nurse Wheeler
still working there?
Well, I was thinking
maybe we'd forget
about the clinic for awhile.
Maybe we just concentrate on...
conventional.
Lazy swimmers...
I plan on taking over
their coaching personally.
Well, I like the sound of that.
There's just one more thing.
Anything.
The smile, it has to be yours.
I don't know.
I was thinking after we figure
all of this out,
maybe we'll just have
one of each.
Are you using
the Bohemian hibiscus
for Danny? It's $50 an ounce.
Desperate circumstances
call for desperate measures.
Ooh.
Wow. That's really nice.
It's, um... like, fruity yet...
Diabolical.
Wow, the Elysian sunflower's
a nice touch.
Mm. Are you going to be back
this afternoon?
Well, if this stuff works,
I won't even be
gone the whole hour.
Oh, like Danny needs perfume
for motivation.
No, this is a real test.
I'm going to be invading
some very sacred space.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Right on time.
Always.
He's, uh... up on 28.
Okay.
Here you go.
- What a gentleman.
- Yeah, that's me.
Thanks.
All right.
You guys going to be long?
As long as it takes.
Yeah. Long.
Avon calling.
Smell.
What is that?
It smells better right here.
- What?
- Yes.
Well...
Body temperature
releases the scent.
- Really.
- Mm-hmm. Sniff.
You know what I'm going to do?
For research purposes,
I'm going to...
Wow.
Wow, I just love your dedication
to science.
Step on over here
in my private office.
What is it with women
and elevators, anyway?
Beats the hell out of me.
Boy, would I love to find out.
Yeah.
A subtitle made possible by R3V0LV3R.
Damn.
Okay. It's okay.
So,
how'd the Giants do?
Won. They won five in a row.
We should go when they get back
from these away games.
Yeah?
Oh, don't forget about tonight.
No excuses.
We both agreed that date night
cannot be canceled,
and I have planned
something very special.
The architect's coming by today.
I may have to...
um...
...leave the meeting early
so that I can
make it home in time
for our special
once-a-month date night.
Listen, I've got to go.
Okay. Ooh, you're
quite messy, hon.
Bye.
Oh, can you go by the cleaners,
drop off that stuff?
Just say "Him-ho-tie-yan-ting-
yah-law."
That means, um, "Not too stiff.
Tomorrow, I pick up."
Him-ho-tine...
tine-yah-ting-yah-law?
Hon, it's him-ho-tie-yan-
ting-yah-law.
T-ting-yah-law.
Him-ho-tie-yan-ting-yah-law.
- Ting-yah-law.
- Ting-yah-law.
- Law!
- Law! Thank you.
Make sure you got 'em...
So, uh, you do it anyplace
interesting lately?
Your house with Julie.
Oh-ho, no wonder she's
been in such a good mood.
I mean, what is it
with you and Jennifer
and this spontaneity thing?
She's been trying to come up
with a... aphrodisiac
she can sell at the shop,
so she, uh...
she surprises me
in the weirdest places.
Well, that's too
much pressure for me.
I mean,
I need a little... warning
before the wife requires
my services.
Yeah, like a week, ten days?
Yeah, that'll do it.
You know, some of the guys think.
Jennifer's trying
to get pregnant.
You guys are talking
about my sex life.
No, we talk
about Jennifer's sex life.
I mean, we'd leave you
out of it if we could.
Admit it... I got
a great love life with my wife,
and it drives you guys crazy.
It does seem a little unnatural.
Feels very natural to me.
Ow!
Who the hell is that?
That is Lindsay Hamilton.
That's the architect who
designed this building?
Yeah.
I thought Lindsay was a man.
Well, if it is,
that's some damn fine makeup.
Hi, boys.
Uh, where can I find your boss?
Well, mine's at home
with the kids, but, uh...
you know, if there's something
special you want to do,
I could always call
and ask permission.
Cute, but I'm in a bit
of a hurry,
so if you could just point me
to Mr. Robertson...
I'm Danny Robertson. Hi.
Sorry.
Plans are up on 28.
I'll just wait down here.
That elevator really only
accommodates two comfortably.
By the way, my name is Steve.
Good old Steve.
I agreed to date night,
not to humiliate myself
in a karaoke bar.
Excuse me, sorry.
Right here, right here.
That's it.
T... This is a booth?
Oh, sure.
It's a Japanese booth.
Oh...
Oh, a Japanese booth.
Okay, one free song
with each order of sushi.
Mark selection on the card,
then you give it to me, okay?
Uh-uh... arigatou,
I'm pretty sure
not everybody in here's
as bad as we are, Jen.
I know, hon.
De... Well, have some sake.
Look, drink menu.
Hon, do you have a pen?
Oh, you're not going
to sing, are you?
Honey, we are going to sing.
Sakes are coming, hon.
You know, they're...
they're very good.
Yeah.
Yeah, the crowd
is really loving these songs.
Did you pick something good?
Yeah. Motown, hon.
Here.
Oh.
Next up is Danny and Jennifer.
Come on, hon,
we got to sing Motown.
Here we go.
Honey, this isn't Motown.
Love.
Love will keep us together.
Come on, hon.
Think of me, babe, whenever.
Some sweet-talking girl
comes along.
Singin' a song.
Don't mess around,
you just got to be strong.
- Just stop.
- Stop.
- 'Cause I really love you.
- 'Cause I love you.
Stop
I'll be thinking of you.
Look in my heart and let love...
- Keep...
- I love you.
I love you, too.
Oops.
Let's go, pal.
One moment, sir.
You reading a book?
Hi.
Hey.
Hey.
Your essential oil shipment
came in.
Really? Where?
Oh, thank God.
Okay.
Right.
Clearing apprehension.
Ooh, I really needed that.
What do you have
to be apprehensive about?
Well, I've got
this new neighbor.
I've been trying to get
his attention for weeks.
Finally, this morning,
he asked me
to bag my garbage tighter.
Hey, I know it's going
to be a challenge,
But I don't know, there's
something about this guy.
I really like him.
Do you know anything about him?
Yes, I do.
He's a mortician,
and he looks great in black.
That would be a job requirement.
Hey, don't be a smart-ass.
Honestly, I want to try
to get to know him more.
I want him to notice me.
Well, you could always
get naked
and put a tag on your toe.
Tried that.
What I need is
if you wouldn't mind mixing up
some of that perfume you made
for you and Danny.
And use up the Bohemian hibiscus
at $50 an ounce?
I'm going up
against formaldehyde.
I need the good stuff.
Okay, okay,
I'll do it when I get back.
Where you going?
More love in the afternoon?
No. I'm four days late.
But my pregnancy
test was negative.
I'm going to go see Dr. Felber.
He's always so comforting.
Is Danny... ejaculating?
What?
Is Danny ejaculating?
Of course.
Are you sure?
Do you actually see the result?
Are you thinking that my husband
is faking orgasm?
It is possible, you know.
You do it to us,
uh, so I've been told.
But that makes no sense.
Danny loves sex,
and he's not opposed
to having kids.
He just doesn't want the process
to take over our lives.
Jennifer, many young couples
get overwhelmed
by the stress
of trying to have a child.
A positive frame of mind
is just as important
as your physical health.
But I think positive.
I've always thought positive,
long before it was popular.
That's the way.
Convince yourself.
Now is the time,
this is the month.
You will conceive.
But are you sure
there's nothing wrong
with me physically?
Have you run every test
possible?
Don't let your insurance company
hear you ask me that.
Please, I have to be sure.
So that I can be positive.
Hey, Danny,
what are you building
over there?
Holly, I have no idea.
Danny, it's not such a big deal.
We said I'd get off the pill,
I got off the pill.
But building a nursery
is not the next logical step.
It goes no pill, pregnancy,
then nursery.
But I'm going to be pregnant.
See, that's the whole point.
It's positive thinking.
Yeah, but that's not the point.
The point is we said
we weren't going to think
about this at all.
We said we were going to...
we're just going
to let nature take its course,
and if it happens,
then great, it happens.
Then we build the nursery.
But sweetheart...
So, how are things going
with the mortician?
Thank you.
He happens to be out of town.
He's at a cremation convention
this weekend.
Oh. Sounds like
a very hot time.
Will you stop
with the mortician jokes?
You're killing me.
How's Operation Positive going?
Thank you.
Well, negative, so far.
Well, maybe you ought to think
about adding another layer
of positive action.
Thank you.
I saw this in the Chronicle,
Hi. How are you?
Great. Say, Danny,
I want you to know
when your baby comes,
I'm available for baby-sitting.
I know I'm only ten,
but I'm very responsible
for my age.
I'm captain of my soccer team,
and I almost made straight "A's"
last report card.
And my rates are
very competitive.
That's quite impressive, Holly,
but I don't think we're going to
be needing a baby-sitter soon.
Mr. Babyproofer says
it's never too early
to start thinking
about the safety of your baby.
Holly, who's Mr. Babyproofer?
He just left,
but he's coming back.
He says your deck is an accident
waiting to happen.
Thank you so much.
Thank you very much.
Jen, what's wrong?
I just got my test
results from Dr. Felber.
Yeah?
I'm fine.
You're fine?
Oh, honey,
I'm a little confused.
Help me here so I know
what to spray you with.
Well, if it's not me,
it must be Danny.
Oh.
Well, now, you're just
jumping to conclusions.
Just because there's nothing
wrong with you
doesn't mean there's something
wrong with Danny.
Maybe your timing's
just been off.
Nancy,
for the last six months,
our rhythm has been better
than a percussion section.
Well... well, maybe
it's just what Dr. Felber said.
You're just putting
too much pressure on yourself.
Yeah, you just got to take
some of that pressure off.
You got to just... breathe.
Just breathe, yeah.
You just got to breathe.
Is this like Lamaze?
It's time you became familiar
with some nontraditional methods
of improving your fertility.
Jennifer... whose are these?
Um, they're yours.
No. No, no, I... I can't
be dangling loose
in boxer shorts, honey.
I work around power tools.
Come on, honey, I bet half
the guys at work wear boxers.
Yeah, and you can tell
who they are.
They've always got their hands
in their pockets, walking around
adjusting themselves.
Where are my Jockeys?
I got rid of them.
You got...
Well, boxers are so much sexier.
Jennifer, I wear Jockeys.
I mean, that-that's what I do.
That's what I've always done.
I mean,
it's-it's really who I am.
Well, just...
set yourself free, hon.
I got to rinse.
Holly?
Hi.
Hi.
- Two dozen, right?
- Right.
Thanks, Jennifer.
My soccer team loves
your peanut butter cookies.
Oh. Anytime.
We've got another game
this Thursday.
Well, then I better be baking
some cookies.
Thanks.
It's a good batch.
They're all crispy
on the bottom.
The kids always love
your cookies.
Wait up.
Damn.
Mind if I join you?
No. Not at all.
Have a seat.
Oh, um, actually,
would you mind
if I just borrowed
Danny for lunch?
I have a few things
I need to talk to him about.
Oh, sure, yeah.
I was just finishing up.
So... there you go.
Uh, I'll, uh, meet you
up top in half an hour.
Aren't you going
to eat your lunch?
Oh, it's empty.
I thought the prop
might make things
a little more comfortable.
I didn't know
you were uncomfortable.
Yeah.
You make me a little nervous.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
You make me a lot nervous.
What did you want to talk about?
A job.
What kind of job?
In Seattle.
There's an old building
that a group of investors
plans to renovate,
and it only has four elevators.
It needs to have at least six,
and they need to move faster
than the people walking
the stairs.
A lot of elevator companies
up there in Seattle.
I meant what I said
the other day.
There's not a lot of
honest subs out there.
I'll let you know.
Thank you for the offer.
You're welcome.
I'll be right back.
I'm going to go downstairs
and get a drink.
Don't go to sleep.
I'm almost ready.
Ready.
Two pages,
and I finish this chapter.
I'm finished.
Wow.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, no.
I have something very special
planned for you tonight.
Just lay back.
Hmm.
God, it's been a while
since you did this.
Yeah.
It's like riding a bike, hon.
You don't forget.
Those boxers do slide off easy.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, God!
What the hell are you doing?
I-I just heard
it was supposed to turn you on.
No more daytime television.
Okay.
Sorry. It's all gone.
Okay? Again?
Just wait.
Ready?
Okay.
Hey.
Yeah.
If you have any matches,
I want them now.
- Ow.
- Easy, easy.
We usually prefer
to collect the semen sample
ourselves.
Do you need this back?
Oh, no thank you.
Real butter's better for you.
I know this isn't
the usual procedure,
but it's so hard for Danny
to get away from work.
He wanted me to
bring in this sample
and get the results.
Did you run all the tests?
Yes. I've... I ran the tests.
Jennifer, I'm not
very comfortable
going over these results
without Danny present.
It's highly unusual.
It's not very ethical.
Well, Danny and I
don't keep any secrets
from each other.
Yeah.
I'm a little disturbed
by some of these results.
I'd like to make an appointment
for Danny and you
with a friend of mine
who's a fertility specialist.
Have an expert run some tests.
Of course.
I just have to check
Danny's schedule.
Hi.
How was your day?
Good.
You know, I was thinking today,
I'm-I'm fine with all this...
baby stuff, you know?
If you, if you need those things
to help you think positive
about getting pregnant,
I mean, it's-it's fine by me.
Now, personally,
yes, I think you might
be overdoing it a bit, but
I'm willing to play along,
if it works for you.
Dear Mr. Ricardo,
My husband and I are going
to have a blessed event.
I just found out
about it today,
and I haven't told him yet.
I heard you sing a number
called 'We're Having a Baby,
My Baby and Me.'
If you will sing it for us now,
it will be my way of
breaking the news to him.
Isn't that wonderful?
Of course I'll do it for you.
Sure.
Hey... Oh, wait a minute.
I got a wonderful idea.
Why don't we bring the couple
up here,
and I'll sing it
right to them, huh?
Come on, let's bring them up
on the floor.
Come on, folks.
Come on. We're just trying
to wish you luck.
Who is it?
No?
No?
Hiya, honey.
Hi.
Oh...
Honey, oh, honey.
Honey, no.
Yes.
- Really?
- Yes.
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, you didn't
give me a chance.
- Are you kidding me?
- No...
It's me.
I'm gonna be a father.
How about that?
I want you to meet my mother.
I mean, my wife, my wife.
Do your song.
What?
Do the baby song.
Do the baby song.
San Francisco Center
for Fertility.
Hi.
We're the Robertsons.
We have an appointment.
We want to have a baby.
Isn't that nice?
Now, fill out
everything in detail.
Including the questionnaire
on your sexual history
and past drug use.
When you're done,
just stay seated.
I'll call you.
I-I'm sorry.
This is kind of, uh...
It's kind of personal stuff.
I'll be happy
to let you read mine.
Don't say a word.
I wondered what happened
to that woman
from One Flew Over
the Cuckoo's Nest,
Surviving sperm
begin the journey
up the uterus
to the Fallopian tubes.
Meanwhile, inside one
of the two ovaries,
an egg is ripening.
The ripened egg bursts out
of the ovary,
an event called "ovulation."
Propelled by tiny
finger-like projections
on the ends
of the Fallopian tubes,
the egg sweeps
into one of the tubes
to await fertilization.
That comes when a surviving
sperm begins to beat
against the clear membrane
that surrounds the egg.
As soon as one
of the sperm breaks through,
the membrane toughens, so that
no other sperm can penetrate...
Okay.
How you doing?
First time?
It's our third clinic.
Ten years.
$50,000.
Three tubal pregnancies.
Scarred Fallopian tubes.
Gonorrhea in '89.
PID.
Pelvic inflammatory disease.
Very painful.
Welcome.
I'm glad you're here.
Starting this process is
a big step
for couples.
We're pleased
that you've chosen us
to help you.
Overcoming infertility can be
time-consuming,
expensive,
not to mention,
a little embarrassing
at times.
Yeah, uh, time out here.
I'm-I'm sorry.
Uh, there's a mistake.
We're not infertile.
Jennifer just went off the pill
a few months ago,
and her... her doctor thought
it'd be a good idea for us
to come down here
and get a...
a couple of physicals
before we really,
really start trying
to get pregnant,
so you-you should
check that chart there.
I see.
Mmm.
Oh.
Well, if that's the case,
I think it is better
that we get started right away.
Yeah.
Anatomy.
Nature.
Soft porn.
Not-so-soft porn.
Deviant behavior.
Women with men.
Women with women.
Miscellaneous.
Clean linens here.
Soiled linens there.
Lotions and creams here.
Remote control here.
And the emergency
call button here.
Come in.
Hi. I'm sorry to bother you,
but there's
a problem with Danny.
He's been in there
more than 20 minutes.
Oh, well, that's not that long
for him.
Aren't you the lucky one.
Yeah.
Hon, it's me.
Um...
Wow.
Pretty nice spread, huh?
I particularly like the section
on deviant behavior.
Oh. I'm sorry.
I know it's hard for you.
No. That's...
kind of the problem.
It's been a while
since I've done this
without you.
I know.
Hey, look at this.
Good morning.
You have no idea how
good a morning it is.
Last night, I had the most
incredible sex of my life.
With the mortician?
I have never met a man who knows
so much about a woman's body.
Well, he has had his hands
on a few.
We go out to dinner, right?
After dinner, he asked
if I want to see his business.
Forensic foreplay.
And I'm, like,
"Do I want to see his business?"
And then I think, if I really
like this guy, and I do,
I'm going to eventually
have to see his business.
We've had a few glasses of wine,
I think, what the hell,
so I say, sure.
Before I go in, I dab on
a little of that perfume
of yours.
Next thing I know, bottles
are crashing to the floor,
clothes are being ripped off,
and there's cold steel
pressing against my bare back.
The cold steel, mind you,
of an embalming table.
Could you just die?
Nancy.
I mean, it was
that perfume of yours.
You really got to go up in there
and mix up a batch right away.
We're selling that stuff.
Yeah. Right away.
I'm telling you, I
need it tonight, too.
I'm afraid the test result
are not good.
I knew Dr. Felber
was keeping something from me.
Honey, we said
we wouldn't get emotional.
Jennifer, it's not you.
See that, it's...
What do you mean by that?
We have carefully tested you
for potency, consistency,
count and visibility,
and the result
are not very encouraging.
Wh-What do you mean
not very encouraging?
I... I am potent.
He is very potent.
Extremely potent.
There's a mistake
down at your lab
or a contamination problem.
A contamination problem.
Like the police DNA labs,
they do it all the time.
Did you check that
little "use by" date?
It was no mistake.
You have what we refer to
as "lazy swimmers."
Please... sorry...
don't call them that.
You are producing sperm,
they are just not making it
to the mother's egg.
Well, give me something.
Some... vitamins or steroids.
You can inject me
with steroids.
I mean, something to make them
better swimmers.
I think it is important
that we consider alternative
method to get Jennifer pregnant.
I made a decision.
I'm going to give you
one of my kids.
Maybe if they weren't
fully grown
and they looked more like Julie.
Please, look,
I know they're a bit past prime
for adoption,
but I think this is the only way
I'm ever going to get the little
bastards out of my house.
I'll give you
the pick of the litter.
It's tempting,
but I kind of wanted
to start from scratch.
Form one in my own
disgusting image, you know?
Well, suit yourself.
But a lot of it's overrated.
Come on, Steve.
People say that
the best moments of their lives
are, you know,
with their children.
Well, those friends
should also tell you
that children are
also responsible
for the worst
moments of your life.
Would you stop it?
No, I'm telling you.
Wait till you have a daughter,
this beautiful
little bundle of joy
with a ponytail and freckles,
a vision who stares
into your eyes
with love and admiration,
who begs you to read her a
story before she goes to bed
or take her for a
walk in the park,
a little person
whose skin is so soft,
you can't believe it's real.
I mean, she's perfect.
And then, one day, when
she's about... 15 or 16,
she's going to walk
through your front door
with a pimple-faced little shit
with 20 earrings
and zero manners
and she's going to proceed to
tell you how much she loves him
because he reminds
her so much of you.
Now, this, my friend,
will be one of the worst
moments of your life.
And boys are worse.
You see, the moment
your son is born,
it is inevitable
that he will be responsible
for the most depressing day
of your life.
That's the day that
that son of yours
brings home a girl
that you're attracted to.
The whole process
is so unnatural.
I mean, there's doctors
and nurses and technicians.
Yeah, I've never been
comfortable with group sex.
I just got to stop
worrying about it
and think about
the big picture, you know?
I got to pee before I
drive across that bridge.
I don't know
how I'm going to pay for it.
I mean, the woman says
it could be a half dozen times
till we're successful.
I can barely cover
the first round
of fertilization.
After that,
we're over at your house
borrowing your
and Julie's turkey baster.
Just think Seattle.
What about Seattle?
Old building,
Lindsay Hamilton,
big payday.
She's been after you
for weeks to take that job.
Now, see,
there's something very...
very dangerous, I think,
about Lindsay Hamilton
and Seattle.
Oh, don't flatter yourself.
Me and Lindsay Hamilton...
that would be dangerous.
You got a little bit
on your boot there.
Have you really tried group sex?
Eh, only if you count two hands.
Lazy...
fucking...
...swimmers.
Mmm.
Hi.
I'm glad you're home.
Promise me something.
Huh?
Anything.
When we finally have a baby,
it'll have a smile like yours.
Love you.
Okay...
Almost there.
Yeah.
Tell me I'm better in
bed than this thing.
Oh, there's no comparison, hon.
Oh.
Now you may feel
this a little bit.
Oh.
Just relax.
Oh.
Now, relax.
Relax.
Can you feel it cold?
All right, almost done.
Almost done.
All right.
We're finished.
Wasn't so bad, really.
Now what?
Now,
we wait and see if
the pregnancy hold.
In the meanwhile,
don't let this
thing run your life.
- No.
- No.
Mm-mm.
Hi, John.
It's Richard.
Listen, I want you to check
on that little shop
on California
that we talked about.
It's busy, yeah.
Okay, listen, you just got
to relax a little bit now.
I mean, this is just
a very preliminary meeting.
They just want to talk to us
about the formula.
Just kind of get to know us
a little bit,
that sort of thing.
It's no big deal.
Mm-hmm. If it's so casual,
why did they call
three times to confirm?
All right.
Let me just do a little.
Okay, good.
Okay. Let's just...
Let's just... come on.
All right? All right?
Better.
Just a casual,
get-to-know-you chat, huh?
Well, maybe it's
not our meeting.
Ladies.
Welcome.
I'm Richard Halstrom.
You must be Ms. Tellen.
Oh, well, that's right.
Hi. And you must be
Mrs. Robertson.
Yes. Hello.
Please, come.
I've asked our executive
committee to join us,
just in case
the conversation gets serious.
Oh, God, this is our meeting.
Everyone, I'd like you
to meet Mrs. Robertson,
and Ms. Tellen.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Right this way.
Here you are.
Thank you.
Hi.
Please, sit down.
- Us.
- Okay.
I hope it wasn't too much
of an inconvenience
for you to come
on such short notice.
No.
No.
Not at all.
We've been watching
your little shop
for quite some time.
What you've done down there
is very impressive.
We're particularly
impressed with
that new perfume of yours.
What do you call it?
Seventh Scent.
Ah...
that's a wonderful name.
Great for marketing.
Well...
the reason we've asked you
here today is simple:
We'd like to buy Seventh Scent.
No kidding.
I have taken the liberty
of drawing up a term sheet
that I think you'll
find quite attractive.
Please.
This is a very interesting
first offer.
That is quite a bit more
than a first offer,
Mrs. Robertson.
Well, then, I guess
you won't be needing
your executive
committee this afternoon.
Thank you.
Come on.
Oh, no, put that away.
We won't be needing that,
we're way too far apart
to be able to make this deal.
Are you sure?
They're really nice.
Put it down.
Wait a minute, what
happened in there?
Did your contract say $100,000?
Because I know that's
what my contract said.
Hold on... did you see the people
around that table?
Believe me, if they'll
pay us $100,000 today,
they'll pay us
$200,000 next week
and give us
profit participation.
Crowded.
Sorry.
Floor...?
Are you sure?
Pretty sure.
Oh, God.
You don't exactly
inspire confidence
as my elevator expert.
Well, they told me you're
on five and a half, so.
I was actually looking for you.
Oh, the first good news
I've had all day.
Yeah, I was, uh, thinking
I might be able
to squeeze that job in
up in Seattle.
But I'll need more money.
Ten percent more.
Done.
We should go up there right away
for you to look at the building.
Uh, sooner the better.
Yeah, I actually would like
to go up there alone.
It's kind of my style.
I like to see a building
by myself the first time.
You know, kind of get a, um,
feel for the place, see if I...
connect with the building,
that sort of thing.
Connect with the building.
Yeah. Uh-huh.
Let me know when you want to go.
I'll have my office
make the arrangements.
Sounds great. Thanks.
You're never going
to believe what happened.
Hey, I got some great news
- at work today.
- Okay.
- I'm sorry, you go first.
- You go first.
No, you.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
Uh, I... I think I have
a way to pay for the, uh...
...clinic bills.
- Really? How?
- Yeah.
The architect on this job
offered me a building
up in Seattle.
It starts
before this one finishes,
and I saved them some money
so I gave them a rate...
I'd, uh...
...I'd go up in the next
uh, you know...
week or so,
and if everything pans out,
our financial problems
are solved.
Well, that's great, honey.
Thank you.
Yeah.
It was... what happened to you?
Oh, well, uh, today,
- at the shop...
- Yeah...
...we sold 100 bottles
of Seventh Scent.
It was out first
hundred-bottle day.
100 bottles, that-that stuff,
it's-it's starting to take off.
Yeah, it really is.
Dinner is almost ready.
I know you're anxious,
so I'll get right to it.
We did not succeed
the first try.
I know you're disappointed.
We should try again right away.
Jennifer, I'm going to prescribe
a fertility drug for you.
I thought
we were going to concentrate
on the in-vitro.
We are,
but there's always a chance
that you might get pregnant
the conventional way.
You're still practicing
the conventional method,
aren't you?
Uh...
- Yeah. Of course.
- Yes.
Yes, we are.
We're conventional about
every night of the week,
I think.
Good.
I'm going to write
that prescription,
and Danny, I need you
to check in with Nurse Wheeler.
We need another sample.
Go, stud.
You might want to check
out that new video,
Romancing the Bone,
Danny? Danny, the
clinic just called.
They said you're late
for your appointment.
Damn it.
I got to go.
If I'm not back in 45 minutes,
send help.
You've only got five minutes.
What?
I'm locking up at 6:00 sharp.
You're not the last
man I'm seeing tonight.
Should I just meet you
down at the nurse's station?
I'll be right here.
30-second warning.
Well, maybe we should take
a couple of months off,
kind of chill out
and then try again.
Remember, this may take
a couple of visits.
It doesn't always work
the first time.
Now don't say that.
You know important it is
for us to think positive.
Yeah. Sure. Whatever.
Yeah, smile.
Now, d-don't-don't do that.
Don't... don't do that.
Billy, I've told you
never to talk to strangers.
Unbelievable.
Cute kid, lady.
Well, I, uh,
need to get back to the shop.
Yeah, I should, uh,
probably get back, too.
So, I'll see you tonight?
Yeah, yeah, I'll-I'll, uh...
Maybe I'll pick up
some Chinese, or...
Sure. That'd be great.
Yeah.
So I'll see you then.
All right.
Bye.
Don't run too far ahead.
Okay!
Oh! Finally we can call it
a day!
Gosh, success is hard work.
Hey... cheer up.
Everything's going to work out.
I hope so.
I'm just handling things
so badly with Danny.
I just want so badly
to be a mom.
You will be,
and you'll be a great mom.
I hope so.
I'm having trouble
being a good wife.
I'm not sure I can handle both.
Well, it's a lot easier
handling a two-year-old
than it is a husband.
I know because, of course,
I've had neither...
...of them.
Aw...
Thanks for being
such a great friend.
Aw...
It's perfect, as usual.
Well...
I want to thank you ladies
for accepting my
lunch invitation.
I was a little worried
you might not be
willing to accept,
because of our first encounter.
Well, we're always
willing to discuss
a legitimate business
opportunity, Mr. Halstrom.
We just didn't think your first
offer was good enough.
You made quite an impression
on the room.
None of us had ever been
one-upped quite like you did it.
She was pretty great,
wasn't she?
I mean, God,
I would have taken the offer.
Well, as I'm sure
Mrs. Robertson already knows,
it's a very good thing
for you that you didn't.
I have an improved
proposal to make.
This one I think you'll
find worth reading.
We're prepared to pay
each of you $250,000,
plus a very fair royalty
for every bottle
sold in perpetuity.
Define "very fair royalty."
Uh, 17 and a half percent
gross sales,
plus escalators and success.
And what about spin-off products
using the name?
Oh, you'd control the name,
but we handle all production
under the same terms.
And for products
that you do not manufacture?
Well, we'll negotiate
that deal together
and split the royalty
50-50.
And if we do not agree
on the deal?
Uh, well...
we'll concede to your judgment.
What about
additional fragrances
under the Seven Scent brand?
Uh, we, um...
we have to have them.
But I-I would agree
that, uh, the royalty
will be slightly higher
for new fragrances...
especially if they have
similar side effects.
Well... I think
this is something
our executive committee
would consider.
We'll take it
under advisement immediately.
That's good news.
To two very beautiful women.
And to the scent
that will make them rich.
Oh!
Oh!
I'm so sorry.
Sorry.
Ms. Hamilton is running
a few minutes late.
She'll join you shortly.
This is quite a place.
Thank you, sir.
Do you take those
two-for-one dinner coupons?
Don't get up.
They loved you in Seattle.
I might be able to get you
a little more
than that ten percent raise.
Well, thank you, uh... for this.
This was really, uh...
Dinner was great.
This was really nice.
Oh, no, thank you.
No, you've really been
a savior to me.
I'm glad you finally let me
take you out to dinner.
So...
Would, uh...
would you like some dessert?
Uh... you know, I...
Actually, I think
I'm gonna have to, uh...
to-to pass.
It's ge... It's getting late.
Oh, are you sure?
Uh, oh, yeah. I'm sure.
The tiramisu, you know,
is so good...
Yeah, I'll tell you what.
I'll send the dessert cart
over for you, okay?
They pour the espresso on it...
Yes, yes! I gotta go.
It's really...
Gotta run.
Danny?
A little more this way!
Could be any Danny Robertson,
for God's sakes.
Any Danny Robertson?
Any Danny Robertson.
Any Danny Robertson?
All right, look.
There's gotta be an explanation.
Maybe the doctor made
a mistake with the bill.
A mistake?
I don't think so.
There was a...
graph charting my
freezability levels.
Hey, look...
it doesn't make sense.
How in the world
could she have you analyzed
even before you go
to the fertility clinic?
And why?
I don't know why.
But I think I figured out how.
And even you
don't want to hear this one.
All right, look.
Before you do something
you'll regret, talk to her.
You and Jennifer
are great together.
You don't want something stupid
to happen
over a misunderstanding.
You boys gonna come out
and play?
They're holding up
the meeting for you.
Just coming.
This is a meeting about what?
How the elevator goes up,
or how the elevator goes down?
Hey, Steve, can you, uh,
can you cover for me?
There's somebody I need
to have a little... talk with.
Yeah, sure.
Catch up with you guys
a little bit later, huh?
Okay.
Anything I can do to help?
No, I'm okay.
I meant with Danny.
I don't think so.
That's a little
sexist, isn't it?
What?
The assumption that a woman
can't just be a friend to a man.
Oh, I'm sure if you wanted to,
you could just be his friend,
but I'm just a little worried
that's not all you want.
You know, when it comes
to a woman like you...
we're all just boys.
My guys told me
come back tomorrow morning.
7:00 a.m.
Is Danny meeting us there?
I haven't told him.
I know, I know.
I'm going to tell him soon.
It's just that
he's been so down
about this business
with the clinic,
and I think the only
thing keeping him going
is that he's earning
the money to pay for it.
I just don't want
to take that away from him.
Good intentions, bad decision.
Come on. We better get going.
Richard will be here
any minute.
What are you doing?
Uh, no big deal.
Just going to Seattle
for a couple of days.
I could go with you.
Huh.
No.
It would be better
if you didn't.
I should have told
you about the shop.
Do you realize
that in all the time
I've known you,
I've never once thought about
the idea of you lying to me?
Ever.
I'm sorry, Danny.
I see.
Truth's a hard thing to hide,
isn't it, Jennifer?
I'm sorry, I'm probably
confusing you, right?
Did I mention that I found
Dr. Felber's bill
for my test that you never
even told me about?
I didn't mention that, did I?
First my potency, now my memory.
You didn't have to lie to me,
Jennifer.
I love you enough
to handle the truth...
whatever it is.
When will you be back?
When you're ready.
We are now boarding.
TWA flight 514 to San Diego.
Is everything okay?
You seem a little distracted.
No, I'm fine.
Okay. Do you mind
holding my boarding pass?
I'm just going to run
to the ladies' room.
Sure.
Hi.
I'm glad
I caught you before you left.
Jennifer,
what are you doing here?
Well, I wanted to say good-bye.
I wanted to wish you luck.
Thank you.
I've done a lot of
thinking since you left.
You're right.
You can handle the truth.
And I've missed you.
I missed you, too.
I'm back.
Jennifer, this is,
uh, Lindsay Hamilton,
the... the architect.
Lindsay, this is...
- Jennifer.
- The wife.
Oh, nice to meet you.
Uh, Danny's told me
so much about you.
Really?
He's told me nothing about you.
May I have your attention,
please?
TWA's flight 611 to Seattle
is now ready
for passenger boarding.
Please have your boarding pass
out and ready
for the flight attendant
as you enter the aircraft.
I'm going to go ahead and board.
Um... take your time
saying good-bye.
It was very nice to meet you.
You son of a bitch.
What?
Is there really even
a building in Seattle?
Oh, God, are you...
Are you suggesting
I made all this up?
To get on an airplane with
some leggy architect... yeah,
that's what I'm suggesting.
Oh, just because you've been
such a wonderful liar doesn't
mean it comes so naturally
to everyone, all right?
This is the final boarding call
for TWA flight 611 to Seattle.
Everyone must be on board now.
Have a good flight.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
So the outside still out there?
You've been staring out there
like you're lost.
You ever been
to Washington before?
So I'm going to head out to
the job site this afternoon.
You sure you don't want to come?
Oh, no, I have a few things
I need to do here first.
I'll check you in
and leave your key
in an envelope
at the front desk,
okay? See you in a while.
Hello?
Oh, hi.
I didn't hear you come in.
I went ahead
and ordered something for us.
It always seems to
take room service
so long to get here,
even in a hotel like this.
I thought you might be hungry
after a long day.
So what... how long were
they... were they there?
Um, they were there
for a little while.
Said hello,
shook my hand and, uh...
Surprised to see you, though.
Almost as surprised
as maybe you were.
I think.
I'm a little
uncomfortable with this.
Well, I've decided that we
shouldn't be nervous anymore.
I'm married.
Doesn't look like things
have been going that well.
Is it still sore?
You're not going to leave
before dessert again, are you?
I don't think anybody's going
anywhere in this weather.
Would it surprise you to learn
that I actually planned this
storm so we'd get stranded here?
You're used to getting your way,
aren't you?
My way is usually the best way.
Seattle information, please.
Hello?
Hello,
is-is Danny Robertson there?
Um... yes, uh, but he's
in the shower right now.
Can I take a message for him?
Is this Lindsay,
the, uh, architect?
Yes, it is.
Uh, who is this?
This is Jennifer,
the... the wife
and-and that would be great
if you could take
a message for me.
Why don't you tell Danny
that he can come home anytime
because I'll be out of the house
this afternoon.
- Thank you.
- Jennifer, listen...
Did I hear the phone?
Yes.
You didn't answer it, did you?
I'm sorry. I was asleep.
I wasn't thinking.
How much?
That'll be $47.50.
Aren't you guys regulated?
Hey, I told you not to come
out here in the first place.
Only an idiot would fly
on a day like today.
That's $50.
Can you help me with my bag?
Sure.
Attention, all passengers,
flight 472 to Sacramento
has been canceled
due to bad weather.
Haven't quite seen a storm like
this before, have you?
You wouldn't have any flights
to San Francisco, would you?
Welcome to Econo Air.
I'm Kathi... with an "I."
And of course we do.
We have a flight leaving
for San Francisco in 30 minutes.
Great.
In fact, we have flights
between Seattle
and the City by the Bay
every hour on the hour,
seven days a week.
At Econo Air, we pledge
to make your San Francisco
experience
something you'll never forget.
That... that's terrific.
Here you go.
We only accept cash.
Okay.
How much?
That'll be $103.11.
A hundred... and three.
And, uh...
can I... owe you a penny?
There. Keep it.
I need to check one bag.
Oh, you'll load that yourself,
on the plane.
Excuse me,
you want to take my ticket?
Welcome to Econo Air.
I'm Kathi...
With an "I."
How did you know that?
Do I know you?
Ma'am, I need to get through.
I could give a rat's ass.
Jennifer?
Honey, are you there?
Jennifer?
Jennifer?
Jennifer...
if you're there, pick it up.
Aha.
Hello, Martha.
Hello, Daniel.
No, she's not here.
I know.
Well, I've been expecting you.
Come on in.
There's coffee in
the living room.
I'll go get us a treat.
Play that funky music,
white boy.
If that wasn't a photo op,
there was never one.
Well...
All right.
I'm ready.
Ready for what?
For your confession.
I'm sorry, what is it
that I'm confessing?
Oh, to your tawdry affair.
My tawdry affair?
Come on, Daniel.
If I'm going to be
at all helpful
in straightening out this mess,
I have to know everything.
Every...
sordid little detail.
Okay?
We should talk.
Now, what could we possibly
have to talk about?
The truth, for starters.
Okay, yes, I did go up
to Seattle
with Lindsay Hamilton.
But it was business.
She's an architect.
Mm-hmm.
And a very beautiful one,
I understand.
So lucky for you.
Must have made going back
to the drawing board
much less of a chore, huh?
Martha, we were working
on a building.
But what were you building
in the hotel suite?
I didn't say I wasn't trying
to seduce him.
Listen... I pulled out
all the stops.
Champagne, strawberries,
candlelight dinner.
Didn't work.
It was a...
very humbling experience.
And I don't do humble very well.
Why didn't Danny tell me this?
It's your daughter
who's having an affair
with some cosmetics guru.
My daughter is not
having an affair.
My God.
Why would she do that
when sex with you
is so fantastic?
She talks to you
about our sex life?
Constantly.
Who do you think suggested
Candlestick Park?
Her father and I
scored there many times.
Martha, I don't think
I want to hear about this.
Yes, you do.
You should call her, you know.
She told me not to.
Since when has that stopped
you from anything?
I'm just not sure I'm ready.
What's the problem?
Transformer blew up on 20
and I got the electrician
up there.
Did you call the, uh,
contractor?
Oh, he's on his way.
He's mad as hell.
All right, I'm going to head
down to the basement,
check out the transformer.
I'll see you on 28.
No. I don't want anything to do
with sparks.
Sparks?!
Where's the fire?
It hasn't started yet.
I thought maybe you'd
like something to eat
before taking on
that loose connection.
Well, I think we'd better
get right to that connection.
I'm so sorry, Danny.
I'll never lie to you again.
Not even a little white one.
You won't have to.
I promise.
Listen, I want to be
a dad, Jennifer.
I'll back to that... clinic.
Is Nurse Wheeler
still working there?
Well, I was thinking
maybe we'd forget
about the clinic for awhile.
Maybe we just concentrate on...
conventional.
Lazy swimmers...
I plan on taking over
their coaching personally.
Well, I like the sound of that.
There's just one more thing.
Anything.
The smile, it has to be yours.
I don't know.
I was thinking after we figure
all of this out,
maybe we'll just have
one of each.