A Very Murray Christmas (2015) Movie Script

1
That's funny.
That's appropriate, isn't it?
How does that go? Let's see...
The jingle bells are jingling
The streets are white with snow
The happy crowds are mingling
But there's no one that I know
I'm sure that you'll forgive me
If I don't enthuse
I've come down
With those Christmas blues
I've done my window shopping
There's not a store that I missed
But what's the use of stopping?
When there's no one on your list
You'll know the way I'm feeling
When you love and you lose
Then you'll have the Christmas blues
When somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Christmas is a joy of joys
But friends, when you're lonely
You'll find that it's only a thing
For little girls and little boys
May all your days be merry
Your season full of cheer
But 'til it's January
I'm going to go disappear
Yeah, Santa may have brought you
Stars for your shoes
All Saint Nick brought me
Was the Christmas blues
Those brightly-packaged
Tinsel-covered
Christmas...
Blues
- Merry Christmas.
- I'm not here.
- Mr. Murray's suite.
- I'm already dead.
- Yes, of course.
- The answer's no.
- Who is it?
- Your producers, Mr. Murray.
They're outside.
They've heard your beautiful voice, sir.
- God hates me.
- Forgive me, Mr. Murray.
But God is your biggest fan.
Number one fan.
Truly a huge fan, Mr. Murray.
- You really think so?
- Number one, sir. Number one.
- Hey!
- Hey!
Murray Christmas!
- Get it?
- Yeah...
- Wow, you look festive.
- I would lose those antlers.
Has anyone shown up for this thing?
- We're here.
- Yeah, so that's one friend.
- Paul's here.
- Yeah, Paul's here.
I wouldn't miss this nutty gig
for the world.
What are you worried about?
Come on. Let's do the show.
- Chop, chop.
- There's no one moving in the whole city.
The airports are closed.
The trains are closed.
The buses and bridges and tunnels
are not working.
A couple of saloons have closed.
The entire city of New York is shut down.
And you're expecting me to go downstairs
and do a show?
- Anything that's fun is always hard.
- That's right.
Oh, it's a miracle.
You two are going to shut up for a second.
- Please be George.
- Please be George.
- Hey.
- Is it George Clooney?
- Is it Clooney?
- Is it Clooney?
- Is he on the phone?
- Please, God, let it be Clooney.
How did you get this number?
Now, you'd better tell me because
I'm going to find out. I am working.
Don't ever do this again.
Ever. You got it?
- My sister.
- Family is important.
I need you to produce!
- Okay.
- Okay.
- How do we cancel this?
- Okay. I understand why you're frustrated.
I would be frustrated, too.
Maybe we shouldn't do it.
- Bev, should we cancel it?
- Okay. You two, grow up.
The satellite is bought and paid for
and non-refundable.
- So we can't cancel.
- You've got to try to cancel.
- We placed all the ads, man.
- Which is so exciting!
- The network has been pro-mo'ing this.
- They are very jazzed about it.
And I don't want to tell you how
personally on the hook you are for this.
You do not want to get sued, Bill.
You don't want to be personally
on the hook. That is scary.
So we've got some weather issues.
Hold on, Bev.
Bill might have a right. Maybe...
Bill has a contractual right to do the
best fucking Christmas show that he can.
Let me guess. You're the bad cop.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
That was a little over the top.
Hey.
- Think of the troops.
- Yeah.
Right? And the kids in hospitals.
And pets outside.
I need my antlers!
You always forget them.
- Jackpot! Here we go.
- Thanks, Paul. Come on.
Here we go. Here we go.
No, no, no, no. No elevator.
The little guys in uniforms who run
these things couldn't make it in today.
Yeah, we're walking. A little exercise
is not going to kill you.
- Come on.
- Goodness me. Dimitri, hold onto these.
Oh, the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
Let it snow...
This is your idea of a Christmas
special? This is a national disgrace.
Alright, stand down, Double D.
He's just a Hollywood sleaze bag.
I don't even know how to express
my shame in this moment.
The Murricane
skulking down the back stairs
like some 25-dollar-an-hour
Twin Cities hooker.
Go away. I told you.
I don't want a manager, especially you.
Maybe not. But you definitely need one.
Bill, Billy, this sad excuse for
a Christmas special... No harm intended...
Oh, none taken.
Seems more like a Christ-mess,
as in, what a mess!
We have George Clooney.
I rest my case.
You saw Monuments Men?
- I was in it.
- Number what? Seven on the call sheet?
- You were so good in that.
- You were great.
You were very good.
What I'm saying
is we all love George, right?
He and I are close.
He's a citizen of the world.
But we need size. We need edge.
If security had come in today,
I would be calling them right now.
Look, just sign with me today, okay?
I know you're a big fish.
But you're not going to snap my line,
okay? I'm hanging on tight.
Here's our Murricane special.
Blimp shot down
into Dallas Cowboys Stadium...
- Done it.
- Retractable roof opens.
- 80,000 screaming fans.
- Yeah.
What? You do it in post.
Camera zooms in.
We see Miley Cyrus wearing a sexy
red mini skirt, sitting on a white sleigh.
- You run in...
- Miley's in Tahoe.
I know Miley.
And that may or may not be true.
Okay, you just have to go away. I'm sorry.
Please just go as far away
as your company will send you.
Miss, could you check him, please?
Thank you.
I've heard that one.
You better check yourself, Bill.
You better run like a thief
from this car wreck.
Total disaster.
Total disaster.
Are you an actress?
Tonight, Christmas Eve, from
the legendary Hotel Carlyle in New York,
Bill Murray
and his celebrity friends gather...
See, Bill? Easy peasy.
We cut from you here live on stage,
to your guests' pre-taped reaction shots.
No one knows you aren't
in the same room together. Boom, done.
- A Christmas miracle.
- You've got to be kidding.
This is from last year's Golden Globes.
That's not going to match.
Yeah, match it...
What does it have to match?
It's all just fantasy, right?
I mean, we're the weavers of dreams.
We're the makers of merry.
- This is all just an illusion.
- Absolutely. It's all an illusion, Bill.
That's Brad Pitt and Angelina.
They're in Africa.
And it's daytime in Africa.
They're not in New York at Bemelmans.
They're in Africa.
Those are huts.
Who sees a hut?
Come on. Bill, calm down and trust us.
Were you nominated for an Emmy
for producing the SAG awards?
- No.
- Neither were we.
So get up there and do the show.
We go live in 90 seconds.
Bill, I think it's a blessing
that these people didn't show up.
Because now it's your time, you know.
The universe gives us many gifts.
It's whether or not we receive them.
- That's right. Receive the gift.
- This job is always surprising me.
- I'm so alone.
- Okay, Bill...
- You know...
- We're with you...
You know, you and I...
we're not in the same business.
Okay, there he goes. He's going.
Bill, I don't want to pressure you,
but one minute until air.
Five cameras. I like our chances
of someone getting it right.
60 seconds! He's going up.
Let's get ready. Are you ready, Paul?
- Ready!
- Alright.
- What are we doing?
- Let's jingle those bells, buddy.
We're going live
in five seconds, everyone.
Is there a microphone
or do we imagine that, too?
- Use your stage voice.
- Yeah.
You're on stage.
There we go. Look.
- We've got one sound guy.
- Swing the camera. The other way.
You people are disgusting.
- You're looking great up there.
- Crushing it.
We're going live on air. Stand by.
Everyone set? We're live on TV in...
eight, seven, six, five, four, three...
Make it great. Two... Go, Bill!
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
Over fields we go
Laughing all the way
Ha, ha, ha!
This is a nightmare.
I can't do this. I'm sorry, Ivan.
- I can't do this.
- Cut the tape!
I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be laughing.
I want to weep, okay?
Go to commercial.
I am weeping. I am weeping.
I've never wept on a stage.
This is a first.
I just can't do this. I'm sorry.
We've got to... I don't know.
Show an old football game or something.
I just can't do this.
Total disaster.
I've got to run. I've got to hide.
Oh, it's freezing out there.
Oh, God...
Oh, it's cold!
I should have quit right then and there.
I should have stopped
right then and there.
I'd give anything for a guest.
Any kind of medium, half-talented fool.
Whoa! Wait a minute.
- Bill Murray!
- Chris Rock!
Chris! Chris!
Bill, what are you doing here
in the biggest blizzard in the world, man?
- Don't leave. Don't leave.
- I'm not...
Don't leave. Stay, Chris. Stay.
Go around. You can't go that way.
- Counter-clockwise. Counter-clockwise.
- Counter-clockwise!
The other way.
- Counter-clockwise. You are such a pro!
- It's a pleasure.
Counter-clockwise. Chris!
What's up, man?
How did you get uptown?
- Subway.
- They shut down the subway.
They are. They are.
I had to walk on the rails, man.
- Sit down with me, buddy.
- I'm sitting down, man.
What's going on?
What's all this stuff?
Well, I'm supposed to be doing
a live TV show.
- Okay.
- Live Christmas special.
- Are you in it?
- It just started.
- I'm the only one.
- Oh, man.
You're doing a live special in the middle
of the biggest blizzard of the year.
That is so you, Bill. That is so you.
- But now you're here.
- Yeah.
- And it's us.
- No!
- Yeah!
- No!
- Dust off the pipes a little bit. Sing a...
- I don't sing, Bill.
- You sing. You're a rapper.
- I don't rap.
Do you know me?
Some...
You can do it, Chris.
You've got to help me.
You can be the guy that saved Christmas.
I don't want to...
I can save your Christmas.
But what about mine? I've got
to get out of here. I've got stuff to do.
I've got to get home and build stuff.
I've got to build
a Malibu Barbie Beach House.
- You can't leave. You're trapped here.
- Bill.
- No way you get out of here.
- Bill.
Now, look. All you've got to do
is come in, sing a couple of songs.
Dance a little bit, you know.
We'll put you in some cool clothes.
And I swear on my life I will get you
on the first snowmobile in the morning.
Bill, I barely know you, okay?
- I just met you...
- This is our chance!
- Where's your boys?
- Let's hang! We've got to hang!
Where's George Clooney?
Matt Damon or John Goodman? Your boys!
Why am I here?
Maybe you should postpone this.
Do it a little later.
Is there any way?
No.
I've got to go, Bill.
There is no fucking way
I am doing a live television special.
No way.
I think I'm hearing you.
Look who's here, everybody!
Said the night wind to the little lamb
- Do you see what I see?
- Do you see what I see?
Way up in the sky, little lamb
- Do you see what I see?
- Do you see what I see?
A star, a star, dancing in the night
With a tail as big as a kite
With a tail as big as a kite
Said the little lamb
To the shepherd boy
Shepherd boy
- Do you hear what I hear?
- Do you hear what I hear?
Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy
Shepherd boy
- Do you hear what I hear?
- Do you hear what I hear?
A song, a song, high above the trees
With a voice as big as the sea
With a voice as big as the sea
Said the shepherd boy
To the mighty king
Mighty king
- Do you know what I know?
- Do you know what I know?
In your palace warm, mighty king
Mighty king
- Do you know what I know?
- Do you know what I know?
A child, a child shivers in the cold
Let us bring Him silver and gold
Let us bring Him silver and gold
Together.
Said the king to the people everywhere
Listen to what I say
Listen to what I say
- Pray for peace, people everywhere!
- Everywhere!
Listen to what I say
Listen to what I say...
Hold it. Wait a second.
Is that us?
- Chris?
- Who cut the power?
- Are we still...
- Go to tape.
Chris?
With a voice as big as the sea
Chris?
Rocky?
Don't try to step off of this.
Where's Chris?
He's gone. And so are we.
Oh, my God.
It's out on the entire Eastern seaboard.
Pack it up, kids. We're out of here.
Amazing. This is good news. Force majeure.
Your contract was voided.
You know what this means?
You're off the hook.
Insurance will cover all of this.
Yeah. It's been a living hell.
See you on the next one, Bill.
Not if there's a God above.
Well, thank you...
Thank you, everyone.
Have a merry Christmas.
Okay.
- Bill.
- Paul.
- Yeah?
- Where are we going?
- You haven't quit drinking yet, have you?
- Should I?
Good man.
Chris and I sounded pretty good there
for a minute or two.
I was moved.
Well, I thought it was beautiful.
Ah, thank you.
The heat's off in here, fellas.
This will help keep you warm.
Well, you, or this, is the nicest thing
that's happened to me all day. To you...
It's Christmas Eve.
It's my favorite night of the year.
The power is out.
The storm is raging outside.
We're in here all cozy.
For now.
For now.
Have another sip. Warm up, hon.
'Cause, baby, it's cold outside.
Can't you stick around?
I really can't stay
Baby, it's cold outside
I've got to go away
I'm not kidding. It's really cold out.
This evening has been so very nice
Been hoping that you'd drop in
My mother will start to worry
Your hands are like ice.
Let me do this to you.
And father will be pacing the floor
Listen to that fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry
You're too darn pretty to worry
Well, maybe just a half a drink more
Okay, you flip the records while I pour.
The neighbors might think...
Baby, it's really bad out there.
Ooh, what's in this drink?
You couldn't get a cab
if your life depended on it.
I wish I knew how
To break this spell
This is so corny, but your eyes
look like starlight right now.
I ought to say no, no, no, sir
I'm going to move in much closer
At least I'm going to say that I tried
Duly noted, you have tried.
I really can't stay
Oh, baby, don't hold out on me, please.
Ah, but it's cold outside
Here, look at these hands of yours.
This is ridiculous.
Here, put them right under here.
This is the second warmest spot
on the human body.
This is an old native trick.
This can keep your fingers from freezing,
turning black and falling off.
I'd hate it if you could never
wear gloves again.
I don't think I could forgive myself.
Here. Where's... Give me the other one.
There's bound to be talk tomorrow
Think of my life-long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied
You get pneumonia and die,
it'd be my fault.
I really can't stay
You've just got to trust me on this.
Ah, but it's cold
Outside
Wow. You are so wasted
on the hospitality industry.
Oh, the chefs! I've got to go.
- Oh, let me help. Paul, watch the piano.
- Alright.
The refrigerators are down.
The chefs are freaking out.
Hey, are you guys okay?
She's dying.
You mean she's melting.
I mean dying.
It's a catastrophe!
It's a disaster!
It's not a disaster, it's a celebration!
Tonight will go down
as the greatest night
in the history of the Carlyle Hotel.
Your beautiful food will not die.
It will live forever.
Because we will consume all of it!
Now, quickly, form a human chain.
Pass all the food. Up to the bar.
All women, grab lobsters and vegetables.
Men, any meat that's hanging.
Someone get ice cream.
You look like you'd like to have
your photograph taken with me.
What?
I notice that seems to really
cheer people up a lot when they do that.
They get big smiles.
I don't think that's really
going to do the trick right now.
I saw a cake.
It looked a lot like a wedding cake.
A lot...
Is that yours?
It was supposed to be.
But now... no wedding.
Because none of our family or friends
or guests could make it in.
So it's ruined.
Well, you're preaching to the choir.
We had to cancel everything.
Our dream Bahamas honeymoon, everything.
And then we're trapped in here,
so sad and angry
and things just have gotten...
Elliot, my fianc, and I
just started fighting.
Yeah, I bet.
So Elliot caused the blizzard.
That bastard.
He ruined my TV special. Where is he?
I think he's in the bar.
Well, he's a little smart.
Want to come in?
They're giving away lobster.
You know, I have a theory
about getting married.
And when I fall in love,
I have vowed to practice it.
Would you like to hear it?
Not really.
- Cool...
- Thanks.
Alright, well,
if you get hungry or thirsty...
Oh, this is an improvement.
This is much better.
Much, much better.
Something is missing, though.
We've got food. We've got booze.
We've got attractive people.
- We need music. Christmas music.
- Oh, music.
We need someone to sing a Christmas carol.
We need a volunteer and
that person is going to be you, Dimitri.
Come on, you Macedonian madman.
No, Mr. Murray, please.
No, no, no. I can't.
You've got to dig deep in your history.
You've got to go deep, to your childhood,
your infancy, if necessary,
and just bring us a Christmas carol.
A one, two...
On the first day of Christmas my...
You're not a singer. And we don't
have time to find out if you're a dancer.
Let's try this fellow.
Scooter, give us something.
I know you know something. Come on.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.
You guys...
are both not working out right.
Come on, my little brandy angel.
You've got... Look at you.
I can... Something...
Good King Wenceslas looked out
On the feast of Stephen
When the snow lay round about
Cool and crisp and even
I could watch you sing that
all night long.
But no one knows the second verse,
am I right? No one?
- You're done with it, right?
- Yeah.
Sorry. Okay...
I'm going to you guys.
You're going to be my Hail Mary.
How about you fellas play something
that nobody knows.
A pleasure. Key of "D"?
Sure, yes.
When you find for some sad reason
You're alone this Christmas season
And the joys of home grow dimmer
Just like a memory's distant glimmer
Mr. Sandman, I need help.
When your love and you are parted
Can you get in here? Just hit it.
Just you. Just... Just... Do it.
It's sad, I say, when you're away
You're a natural.
From love on Christmas Day
Why the sadness?
You got to move on
When there should be gladness
Keep moving on
All you can do is keep moving on
Time is mending
You've got to move on
Pain, too, has its ending
Keep moving on
Know in your heart
It soon will be gone
Whether cruising the lonely highway
Or jetting miles high
Through some skyway
When you've reached your destination
Awaiting baggage from the station
When you see some happy greeters
It can make your bitter sweeter
But still for real, it's sad to feel
Alone on Christmas Day
Why the sadness?
You got to move on
When there should be gladness
Keep moving on
All you can do is keep moving on
Time is mending
You've got to move on
Pain, too, has its ending
Keep moving on
Know in your heart
It soon will be gone
And you guys can cook, too.
Wow, you're going to be a real catch.
You're Elliot.
- How'd you know that?
- I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present.
I'm here to warn you.
Sorry, sir,
but I'm not in the mood.
For love.
The question is, are you in the mood
for a lifetime of regret and loneliness?
Please go away.
I can't. I'm a ghost. I've got to keep
haunting and haunting and haunting.
There's a lovely girl
in the lobby, crying.
And not over her dead wedding cake.
- See you in a minute.
- Wait...
Peaches, love's got an up button
and a down button
and you decide which one to push.
What?
You ever try a "soiled kimono"?
- No. I...
- Just drink it.
That's it. There you go.
And listen.
Hey, Paul.
Christmas
The snow's coming down
Christmas
I'm watching it fall
Christmas
Lots of people around
Christmas
Baby, please come home
Christmas
The church bells in town
Christmas
Are ringing in song
Christmas
What a happy sound
Christmas
Baby, please come home
They're singing "Deck the Halls"
But it's not like Christmas at all
'Cause I remember when you were here
And all the fun we had last year
Christmas
Pretty lights on the tree
Christmas
I'm watching them shine
Christmas
You should be here with me
Christmas
Baby, please come home
They're singing "Deck the Halls"
But it's not like Christmas at all
'Cause I remember when you were here
And all the fun we had last year
Christmas
If there was a way
Christmas
I'd hold back these tears
Christmas
But it's Christmas Day
Please
Please
Please
Please
Please, please, please, please
Baby, please come home
Oh
Baby, please come home
Baby, please come home
Oh
Whoo
Oh
Please come home
Baby, please come
Hey
Oh
Hey
Yeah!
Does anyone want a piece of cake?
I think she means you.
Okay, now tell me your theory of love.
Well, it's really more of a philosophy.
Whatever.
Try to remember the specific moment...
the exact second when you knew
that you were really in love.
Not a time or a date or a trip.
But the instant that you knew for sure
you were in love.
And then what?
And then sing about it.
To you?
To each other.
But I'll probably listen.
It was late last night
I was feeling something wasn't right
There was not another soul in sight
Only you, only you
So I walked along
Though I knew
That there was something wrong
'Cause the feeling I had
Was so strong
About you
Then you gazed up at me
And the answer was plain to see
'Cause I saw the light
In your eyes
In your eyes
Though we had our fling
I just never would suspect a thing
Until that little bell began to ring
In my head, in my head
But I tried to run
Though I knew it wouldn't help me none
'Cause I couldn't ever love no one
So I said
'Cause my feelings for you
Were just something I never knew
'Til I saw
The light
In your eyes
In your eyes
Do-do-be-do
Do-do-do-do
But I love you best
It's not something that I say in jest
'Cause you're different, girl
From all the rest
In my eyes
And I ran out before
But I won't do it anymore
Can't you see the light
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my
Eyes
Will you marry me?
Yes.
By the power invested in me
by the Writers Guild of America,
the Screen Actors Guild
and the Directors Guild...
I'm also on the wait list
to the Teamsters Union...
I now pronounce you two
officially reengaged.
It's 12:01. Merry Christmas, everybody.
Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- Alright.
Merry Christmas.
We're going to have to make
a Christmas decision.
It's either Slovenia or Mexico, folks.
It's your choice.
Here we go!
It was Christmas Eve, babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me
Won't see another one
And then he sang to me
"The Rare Old Mountain Dew"
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you
Got on a lucky one
Came in 18 to 1
I got a feeling
This year's for me and you
So happy Christmas
I love you, baby
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true
They've got cars big as bars
They've got rivers of gold
And the wind goes right through you
It's no place for the old
When you first took my hand
On a cold Christmas Eve
You promised me
Broadway was waiting for me
You were handsome
You were pretty
The Queen of New York City
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
Sinatra was swinging
The drunks were all singing
We kissed on a corner
And danced through the night
The boys of the NYPD choir
Were singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas Day
I could have been someone
Well, so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you
I kept them with me, babe
I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my dreams around you
And the boys of the NYPD choir
Were singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas Day
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas Day
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas Day
Hey
Oh, dear...
Oh.
Just hear those sleigh bells jingling
Ring-ting-tingling, too
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "Yoo-hoo"
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
George! You made it!
Well, there was traffic,
so I caught a sleigh.
And you brought Miley Cyrus.
- Of course.
- It's her sleigh.
Hey, save your money.
Flying private, you know...
- It's the reindeers that'll get you.
- Oh, yeah?
Trust me.
Our cheeks are nice and rosy
And comfy cozy are we
We're snuggled up together
Like birds...
- Hello, Paul.
- So nice to see you.
- I thought I'd make a Martini or two.
- This is the place to do it.
Sing a chorus or two
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding dong ding
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding dong ding
- Hello, ladies.
- Oh, my goodness. The girls are here.
Hi, ladies.
Are you interested in a Martini?
Just hear those sleigh bells ringling
Jing-ting-tingling, too
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "Yoo-hoo"
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding dong ding
Yeah!
Well... that is wonderful.
Wonderful.
These kids have got something to do.
Let's go make ourselves scarce.
Gosh, it's beautiful isn't it?
Yeah. For a sound stage in Queens...
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright
Round yon virgin mother and child
Holy infant
So tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly
Peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Silent night
Holy night
Shepherds quake
At the sight
Glory stream from heaven above
Heavenly hosts sing halleluiah
Christ the savior
Is born
Christ the savior is born
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
And all is bright
Round yon virgin mother and child
Holy infant
So tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly
Peace
Sleep in heavenly
Peace
Now Mama's in the kitchen cookin'
The children all fast asleep
It's time for Santa Claus
To make his midnight creep because
Santa Claus wants some loving
Santa Claus wants some loving
Santa Claus wants some loving now
Yeah, I know
There's something real pretty
Underneath the Christmas tree
But I ain't had no lovin' all week
It's beginning to worry me because
Santa Claus wants some loving
Santa Claus wants some loving
Santa Claus wants some loving
Santa Claus wants some loving
I've been trying to find
This old bicycle
I can't seem to find my pliers
I'm halfway watchin' Mama
For that sleepy look in her eyes because
Santa Claus wants some loving
Santa Claus wants some loving
Santa Claus wants some loving
Break it down for me will ya, Paul?
Now, holy-moly...
Alibaba and the 40 Thieves...
What size shoe is that anyway?
Is that a seven-and-a-half, eight?
Or is that an eight-and-a-half, nine?
Could... Yeah...
You're...
You're awful fine
but I don't think you're mine.
You know there's no place like home
for the holidays and...
I think I'd like you to take me home
or vice versa.
I don't want no turkey
I don't care if I get any cake
I just want you to come back here, Mama
Before the children wake
Santa Claus wants some loving
You're driving me crazy, Mama.
Santa Claus wants some loving
Santa Claus wants some loving
Now Christmas is for the children
And I want them to be real pleased
But right now, Mama
It's Christmas Eve
Come make your pappy happy
Pretty please
Santa Claus wants some loving
Santa Claus wants some loving
Santa Claus wants some loving
Santa Claus wants some loving
I am the king of Christmas.
Oh! Oh! Knock it off! Knock it off!
Come on! I can't breathe!
Oh, the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
It doesn't show signs of stopping
And I brought some corn for popping
The lights are turned way down low
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
When we finally kiss goodnight
How I hate going out in the storm
But if you really hold me tight
All the way home I'll be warm
And the fire is slowly dying
And my dear, we're still goodbyeing
But as long as you love me so
Let it snow
Let it snow
Let it snow
Look out, old Santa is back.
Thank you.
Merry Christmas, Mr. Murray.
Is it Christmas?
All day.
That's good.
Thank you, Dimitri.
Not too bad.
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year
Good tidings we bring
To you and your kin
Good tidings for Christmas
And a happy new year
- Merry Christmas, Bill.
- Merry Christmas, Paul.
- Merry Christmas, Mr. Murray.
- Merry Christmas, Dimitri.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Young lady, cheers to you.
- Cheers.
- Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Young lady, my ass.