A Weekend with the Family (2016) Movie Script

[upbeat music playing]
[Travis] Have you ever been in the middle
of everything in your life
falling completely apart,
and you stop and ask yourself,
"Where the hell did it all go wrong?"
This is the moment that ruined it all.
Just look at me,
standin' there looking like
a complete dummy,
just waitin' to get caught.
[stuttering] Hey, girl!
What's goin' on? What are you doing?
[stuttering] What up?
What you mean what...
I just got out the shower.
You the one sneakin' up on...
Babe, what you doin'?
You're such a bad liar, Travis.
You're right, I can't lie to you.
That's why I love you,
'cause you be knowing me.
Babe, you acting a lil' weird.
Got a court case today.
And it's big...
Okay, big day, butterflies, generally...
-Exactly, just a little...
Okay, anyway, so which shoe
shall I wear today?
That's a good one. I like...
-the brown!
Good choice.
You know I make good choices, I chose you.
Okay, I am running super late.
You have a good day at work.
[Courtney] I love you. Love you.
-I love you too.
-Bye, have a good day.
All right, you too.
-[Travis] Love you, girl.
-[Courtney] Love you too.
[music continues]
Mr. Jenkins here
has repeatedly demonstrated
an immense lack of self control...
[aggressively] What? Those are lies!
Lies, lies, lies!
Counselor, control your client, or I will
have him removed from this courtroom.
...as demonstrated in front
of you all today.
[Mr. Jenkins] Object, object. I'm not
going to win, I'm not going to win!
Objection, Your Honor,
my client has done nothing more
than express his religious freedoms.
In fact, the last time I checked,
the practice of voodoo
is legal in this country, and it is absurd
that the counselor and Mrs. Jenkins
have attacked my client's personal
and religious freedoms
in these court proceedings,
all for the sole purpose of monetary gain,
might I add?
-We got this one in the bag.
-I hope so.
I'm paying you guys enough.
Your Honor, it is his religious beliefs
that are in question here.
-You may proceed, Mr. Stanley.
-Thank you, Your Honor.
As we will prove,
it was only after his many infidelities
that he decided to choose
this new "religious" path,
which includes the many perks
of male polyamory and polygamy.
Neither of which did my client,
Miss Jenkins, agree to
on the onset of their marriage,
proving that Mr. Solomon Jenkins here
was just a squirrel
that tried to get his nut and keep it.
You killed 'em!
Squirrel that tried to keep his nut?
Man, really!
Did you see Mr. Clancy in the back?
-I did see him.
-He was even laughing.
That's 14 in a row, baby, we're on a roll.
Clancy and Lynch and Associates.
Here we go, boy!
[both exclaiming indistinctly]
You boys were amazing!
Thank you so much. I feel like I have
a new lease on life.
Don't mention it, Miss Jenkins.
It's our job.
Call me Wanda.
Thank you, Wanda.
You boys be good.
Or bad...
-I think it was the cologne.
-Got to be the cologne.
-Got to get you some.
-I can give...
[Rosie] Yeah, boss,
I had a real good weekend.
Got myself a new lil' thang.
Girl, he was working it out with...
What's goin' on with you, boss?
You're not acting like yourself.
I'm okay. Just thinking.
So, whose ass do I need to kick?
Rosie, everything is fine.
Just got a lot on my mind.
Can my teeth be on your mind?
I just wanna get outta here.
-[Rosie] Now, wait a minute.
We don't take the Lord's name
in vain here.
Okay, you gotta get your energy together.
-Tell Jesus that you're sorry.
Sorry, Jesus.
[Rosie] Thank you, that's good.
Your mother raised you well.
At least you got a lil' bit of manners.
I'll make you feel real good,
right about now.
Talking smart to me,
calling Jesus' name in vain,
I'm so sick of these people,
I don't know what to do,
Look at his hair. What's...
Now, he'll be out for ten minutes,
so you need to spill it.
Travis is gonna propose.
How do you know?
I found the ring.
You nosy-ass heifer.
Girl, congratulations!
Court, this is exciting.
Oh, my God! I'm just gonna be an amazing
maid of honor, I know I'm gonna be it.
'Cause we gonna be turnin' it up.
Girl, I got this solo move,
I wanna turn it up.
[in a sing-song voice] Turn it up. What!
I'm doin' it, I'm turnin' it up,
but you ain't turnin' it up.
Ain't you excited?
Of course, I am.
Travis is amazing.
I couldn't see myself
being with anybody else.
Okay, so then, what's the problem?
Travis hasn't met my family yet.
My family is very strict,
very traditional, and very Korean.
Okay, so then why hasn't he met them?
I think Travis is a little insecure
about my father.
So, I assume that you met his family.
That's another thing.
-I haven't met them yet either.
I've talked to his mom on the phone,
but I've never met them face to face.
What if they don't like me in person?
What if they don't think I fit in?
Now, come on,
you know that's an impossibility.
You know that.
I just want us to be
one big, happy family,
-You know?
-I do.
And I know how important it is to Travis
for my dad to like him.
Okay, so then, what are you gonna do?
Now, prayer's very good.
Yeah, I'll be praying with you,
but I'll be praying for us to turn it up!
Girl, 'cause I got these new moves...
-All right.
-[Rosie] Wake up.
-[Courtney] Wake his ass up.
All right, Steve, you ready?
[Steve] Yeah.
[Courtney] All right. Okay, all right.
Thank you, girl.
Open up.
[Courtney] Ew!
[Travis] So what you think?
Are we the two new hotshot attorneys
at Clancy Lynch and associates?
I felt pretty good about myself today.
[both talking excitedly]
[John] That's what I like to see.
You guys are always working.
Great work today, fellas.
You guys really pulled it off.
Thank you, Mr. Clancy.
You guys should be
really proud of yourselves.
I don't remember seeing
a rookie win record like that
since... Hell, myself.
-That's a good thing, right?
-Yes, of course, it is.
We got our eye on you two.
I specially got my eye on you, young man.
Travis, you got a bright future
ahead of you.
Thank you, Mr. Clancy.
Yeah, well, you know what, call me John.
You're part of the family now.
This is the pen!
The board voted, and they will make
their official announcement
on Monday morning.
I don't know what to say!
-Don't say anything.
Look, just show up at work
on Monday morning,
bright-eyed and bushy-tailed,
ready to work.
I expect you to arrive early
and leave late, just like me.
-Just like you.
-Just like me. Good.
Let me get outta here before my wife
sends out the FBI for me.
But anyway, you guys
enjoy yourselves tonight, you deserve it.
-Have a drink on me.
-Thank you...
[both whisper in amazement]
[both start shouting excitedly]
-I take it you won your case today?
Fourteen in a row.
Ugh! Smells like Joey drowned you
in shots.
Joey went for the big one tonight.
I swear, that boy will never change.
Get some rest, babe. I'm proud of you.
[sleepily] After this weekend
our whole lives are just gonna change.
"You're part of the family now."
[mouthing] What?
[phone rings]
Boy, didn't I tell you
I just don't feel like it?
if your thirsty ass call me
one more damn time...
Rosie, it's me.
He's gonna ask to marry him this weekend.
He's gonna ask you to marry him
this weekend!
Girl, yes. What do I do?
Calm down.
I mean, girl, I was in my deep REM sleep.
I still got my damn mask on.
Okay, how do you know for sure?
'Cause he just came in here drunk,
and he said, and I quote,
"After this weekend our whole lives
are gonna change."
Then, he passed out.
Oh, my gosh, girl, he's gonna ask you
to marry him!
Okay, so what you gonna do?
Girl, I don't know,
that's why I called you.
Okay, right.
I want him to ask me really bad,
but I know if he does it
before he meets my family,
my dad will not respect him.
Travis will be crushed.
-Is it really that serious, Court?
-You have not met John Clancy.
My dad was a judge for 20 years.
He sentenced men to death
without even batting an eye.
Okay, so why don't you invite your parents
over or something?
Girl, I can't do that.
They are at our vacation home
for the weekend.
It's Korean new year.
-I'm totally screwed.
-No, you are not.
It just seems like you have
a lot of arrangements to make, boss lady.
I mean, either you get them together,
or my man shoot himself in the foot.
I think it will be better this way.
Ultimately, if you're lucky,
he might propose
right in front of everyone.
[Rosie laughs]
Okay, I'll figure it out,
I'm gonna invite his parents.
-I love you.
-Love you too, bye.
[mutters in annoyance]
I gotta get myself ready for this wedding.
...break my concentration.
Shut up.
[Courtney] Good morning, sleepyhead,
rise and shine.
I've made you some breakfast.
Come on, get up.
We've got a lot goin' on today.
[Travis] Why you hittin' me?
What do we have to do today?
Well, I was thinking,
this is the first full weekend off
that you've had in like, forever,
and I wanted to make the best of it,
so I planned us a getaway trip.
Baby, that was so sweet. You just wanna
spend a lil' time with your man.
-Man, I see.
-Of course!
You little kitty. Oh, wait!
-Baby, why are... why're you doing...
-[stammers] What are you doing?
Your shoe is unzipped.
My shoe... Yeah, my shoe!
-Yeah. Okay.
-What's going on with you this morning?
Thank you!
Okay, I just need you to get ready,
and our flight leaves in two hours.
Okay, let me just go pack
my bag real quick.
No, babe, I've already packed
our bags. Look.
And I packed your favorite pajamas.
Girl, you so sweet. You just own it.
-Let me go get in the shower.
Oh, girl!
All right, that was nothing,
you said you were gonna spank me.
[slow music playing]
Baby, what do you have in this bag?
I packed everything.
I see.
So, you sure you have everything?
You ready to go?
Yeah, I think... Oh!
Whoa! [sheepishly] What are you doing?
-It was my shoelace...
-Just leave it.
You'll be sitting
more than standing anyway.
-Come on you, you ready? Let's go.
-Yeah, I got it.
-You sure?
[pop song playing]
Babe, this don't look like a hotel.
Yeah, not exactly.
Babe, I haven't been
completely honest with you
about this weekend.
We're not going to some fancy,
little exotic getaway,
-or anything like that.
-Well, clearly. I can see that.
But where'd you take me?
I, um...
I... I brought you
to meet my parents. Surprise!
-Yeah, so your parents?
-It's their house?
-Oh, okay.
-Don't... Don't be mad, okay?
-They're gonna love you.
-No, I'm not mad at all.
-Oh! That's my...
-[Sue] Is my baby here?
-Come on, let's get out.
-Let's get out.
[Courtney] Come on, let's... Gonna go...
[Travis] Your luggage. Yeah, I'm good.
[Courtney] Are you sure?
Okay, I'll meet you outside.
Just like I taught you.
Dad, you're getting a little rusty.
You watch your mouth, young lady.
-We didn't think you'd make it this year.
I know. Change of plans.
It wouldn't be a proper Seollal
without you.
-Aw, Daddy!
-So where is this young boul
that you've been raving about?
Yeah, he's in the car, getting the bags.
Babe, hurry with the bags.
-Come on.
-[John] Come on.
-[Courtney] Okay.
-[John] Yo, you look great!
-I wait for him.
-Okay, Ma.
[John] Come on, we gotta catch up.
[Courtney] Oh, God! I am starving.
[Travis talking to himself]
Can't believe this.
Thought we was goin' on a vacation.
No, we gonna meet the parents. [grunts]
[Travis laughs]
You must be Travis.
You must be Mrs. Clancy.
So nice to finally meet you.
Oh, okay.
One more time...
Come, come, come, come inside.
-[Sue] You need help?
-No, I'm fine.
-[Sue] Good.
[Sue] You know you look like
that LL COOL J.
Anybody telling you that one?
No. Thank you.
-[John] Maybe we can...
-A shower, and then, we can go.
[John] That would be good.
Travis, this is my dad, John Clancy.
-Daddy, this my...
-Travis Stanley.
You know him?
I no understand.
[stutters] Wait a minute, is this a joke?
No, it's... It's not a joke at all.
Mr. Clancy, I... I can explain myself.
You're damn right, you better explain.
Travis, what's going on?
[stammers nervously] Baby,
I'm just looking to... See...
This, right there, this is not how
I seen it though,
at all in my head.
I bet the hell not.
[speaking Korean]
[nervously] I'd like a latte.
-Okay, baby...
-Explain yourself.
I haven't been entirely forthcoming
-about where I've working for the past...
-[exclaiming] Oh, no!
-[Courtney] Oh, God!
-Mr. Clancy, I did not lie to you,
-but I wasn't entirely forthcoming...
-Just spit it out.
Babe, I've been working at your dad's firm
for the past six months.
-Mr. Clancy, I've been happily,
but respectfully,
dating your daughter
for the past eight months.
-Oh, no! Oh, no!
-Mama's going down.
Come here, get your hands off her.
[angrily] You see what you did?
Wake up.
Uh... Um...
[John] You rotten,
low-down son of a bitch.
Mr. Clancy, I know you must be very angry.
Billy Clapton.
Who... Who's Billy Clapton?
Billy Clapton was the last rotten,
low-down son of a bitch
that tried to use my daughter
to gain my favor.
Oh, damn!
-That's Billy?
Billy broke my little girl's heart,
so I had to make him disappear.
Mr. Stanley, you understand?
[stammers] I do, now.
Is there anything else you need to tell me
about yourself?
And you're not using my daughter
for your own, personal gain?
Only time will tell.
Now, get out of my office.
What the hell is wrong with you, Travis?
Why didn't you tell me
you're applying to my dad's firm?
Because I didn't want you
to help me get in.
Okay, so?
Okay, so, I wanted to get in on my own.
So, this was just some masculine thing?
No, it wasn't just some masculine thing.
I was trying to avoid
exactly what's going on right now.
Look, I didn't want you to think
I was just dating you
because you're the boss' daughter.
I knew if you saw me get it on my own,
then you wouldn't question
my love for you.
Babe, I'm sorry.
Fine, I believe you.
Thank God.
So, what now?
Uh... Google, flights,
we are packing this up.
-Babe, we cannot leave.
-Yes, we can.
Did you see how your dad looked at me?
I was...
As a matter of fact,
who was Billy Clapton?
Where did you hear that name?
You dad, he called me Billy Clapton.
Billy Clapton was my ex,
a few years back in college.
I thought he loved me, but I found out
he was only using me
because he knew who my father was,
and he wanted to be a part of his firm.
Exactly why I didn't want
to say anything, you see...
Wait, what happened to Billy Clapton?
I have no clue.
I told daddy about him,
and I never heard from Billy again.
Oh, no.
I'm dead, your dad is gonna kill me.
He gonna hide the body
somewhere with his lil' judge friends.
And they ain't gonna find my body.
-He'd never go to jail 'cause...
-This is gonna be
a lot harder than I thought.
-Google, flights, pack...
-My dad will never respect you.
...'cause I'm not about to die over this.
We cannot leave.
I think we done past the respect point.
Did you see how you daddy
was looking at...
Travis, just give my dad a chance
to get to know you
so he can see how amazing you are.
You're nothing like Billy.
All right, what are we up against?
Tell me what's going on. Why are we here?
Well, this is my mother's
favorite holiday.
So, my dad takes it very seriously.
-Babe, we can do this.
-Yes, we can.
We're gonna get through this together,
we're a team.
As Bonnie and Clyde. Me and you, girl.
-[Courtney] Hi!
-[Sue] Honey!
We will begin Sebae shortly,
and then, have dinner after.
-Travis, will you be joining us...
-[Courtney] No, no, no, no!
Oh, yes! Travis is all about the Sabbath.
Imma be all up in there with y'all.
Terrific, will you be needing a hanbok,
or did you bring your own?
No, I got my own handbook.
I write in it all the time.
I write my poems in there.
No. Hanbok.
That's the same.
[hesitantly] Yeah. No, I don't...
What's that?
[Sue] Don't worry, I think John have
extra one.
Thanks, Mom.
Handbook? Really?
Handbook, hanbok, it's all the same...
That's your good dress.
[gong rings]
[exotic music plays]
How wonderful? Very good, Travis.
That hanbok is a antique from Korea.
It is priceless.
Anything should happen to it,
you die.
It's very nice, Mr. Clancy.
It's just a little long, but...
[speaking Korean]
Dad, please!
Travis, this is a tradition
known as a Sebae.
Everybody move over.
It is done to honor one's elders.
Okay, yeah, I'm all about honoring
one's elders,
'cause I used to work at Walmart
and when the elders came in,
I 'd just hold the door for 'em.
-Some will be in a little wheelchair...
-Babe, babe, babe.
Okay, they get it.
-Okay, this is very simple.
All you have to do is bow down
to mom and dad four times,
and say a little phrase.
Okay, what's the phrase?
[speaking Korean]
Okay, everybody kneeling down.
It means, "Please receive
a lot of luck in the new year."
Very important in Korean tradition
to properly begin Seollal
with good fortune.
Here, you may observe
as we pay respect to my mother
and the father. Okay?
[chanting Korean]
Now, we do the same think for mom and dad.
I'll give it a whirl. [laughs]
[John laughs sarcastically]
This custom deserves much more
than you giving it a whirl.
[Courtney] Ready? Babe?
Ready? Okay.
[chanting in Korean]
[Travis mispronouncing]
Say about the mini bad hoes.
-[robe rips]
Oh, no!
Oh, oops!
[John shrieks in anger]
[grits teeth in anger]
I stepped on it.
[shouting in Korean]
Anybody got a needle and thread?
[doorbell rings]
Babe! Oh, my gosh!
I totally forgot, I have the biggest
surprise for you. Come, come, come!
[mouthing words inaudibly]
[Courtney giggling]
You guys, come, come, come, come!
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
Okay, Travis, I have the biggest
surprise for you! [squeals]
Okay, you ready?
Yeah, babe, I'm ready. Another surprise.
[exclaims] I invited your family.
[Dingo exclaiming in amazement]
Lord! Lord! Lord!
Nip, look at this, Oh, my goodness!
Baby, our son done landed
in a pot of honey.
-He done come up like 7Up!
-Came up like a Mountain Dew!
-[in a sing-song voice] Won't they do it?
-[Dingo] Won't they?
[Nip] Yes. Where's my baby at?
Where PP at? PP?
PP, where you at, babe?
-There he is, Ma. I see him.
The heck! What you got on, boy?
[exclaiming in shock]
That's my baby...
[Nip] Move, that's my baby!
Gimme the Tazin.
[Nip sings]
This little light of mine
My baby, he's all fine, Lord!
This little light of mine
My baby, he's all fine, Lord!
-Come on!
-Wake up, nigga.
It's time to party.
[Dingo laughs hysterically]
[Nip] Wake up, baby.
-[Dingo] There he is.
-Boy, you were so excited to see us,
you just fainted.
Mamma, Daddy, what you all doin' here?
Boy, that ain't no way
to talk to your mamma.
Can't you see she happy to see you?
-Sorry, Papa.
Look, your girl called us, told us,
"Just come on down."
Honey, she bought
the plane tickets and everything.
[whispers] First class!
[Nip laughs loudly]
[Dingo] Great flight, baby.
Hey, PP, your mamma hung that phone up
so damn fast,
you would've thought
she was on Amazing Races.
-[Nip] Survivor.
-[Nip and Dingo singing] I'm a survivor...
[Sarge in a commanding voice]
At ease, soldier.
Give your brother a big hug.
Babe, your brother.
-Come on.
-Yeah, my brother.
Come on, it's been a long time...
[shouting on top of his voice]
What did I tell you? You got to be ready
at all times.
Never know when there's gonna be
an invasion.
Now you must repeat, "Time, nigga."
-Time, nigga.
-Time, nigga.
That's what I'm talking about.
Tap that ass.
Still darned soft, huh?
Still darned soft. Soft like sugar.
[Sarge] That's sweet, boy.
All right,
take off that little suit, baby.
It's so wonderful to finally meet you.
Now, you are gorgeous.
Ain't she gorgeous, Dingo?
She's as pretty as me.
[Dingo] Fine as spring wine.
And that body look like
it's tight as shit too.
You done good, PP.
My boy got good taste.
-[Nip] Yes, he do.
-[Dingo] Yes, he does.
-That's short for piss pot.
You see, he peed the bed
up until he was 16 years old.
-Mm-hmm, 17.
The doctor said he had the bladder
of a two-year-old.
Oh, really?
He'd piss everywhere. Rugs, sheets, shoes.
[Sarge] Really piss-ass faggot.
But you ain't gotta worry about him
pissing on you,
unless you want him too.
[Stankershets laughing hysterically]
We just playing with you, baby.
[Nip] Ain't nobody playing.
But girl, you are even
prettier than your pictures.
-Thank you.
-We could be twins.
[speaking in Korean]
The hell is that all about?
[mocking John]
Mom, Dad, this is the Clancys,
the beautiful family of my Courtney.
Her father, John Clancy.
Her mother, Seoyeon Clancy.
[Sue and Travis exchange greetings
in Korean]
Her sister, Catherine Clancy.
Bow again. Bow again.
One more time.
-It is very nice to meet all of you.
-Nice to meet you as well.
Everybody clapping.
-[indistinct chatter]
Aren't you gonna introduce us to them?
[clears throat] Exactly,
I was just about to...
Clancys, meet my family, the Stankershets.
This is my mother, Niphateria.
Niphateria Lorraine James Stankershet.
Everybody just call me Nip though.
-[laughing uncontrollably]
-[Dingo] Nip, nip...
Stop, nigga.
You dead tonight, you gonna get...
My brother...
That is Brante Alexander Emmanuel
Mount Zion-On-The-Rock Stankershet, sir.
A survivor of the war in Afghanistan
against terrorism.
But you can call me Sarge.
[Nip] All right, easy.
-And this is my father, Henry.
-But you can call me Dingo.
What is that short for?
That's short for... mandingo, baby.
[Nip] Yes, Jesus.
That thing anything but short.
[Nip laughs]
You know what I'm saying to you, baby?
-Push that thing...
-Okay, Dingo.
Cut that out. Okay, come on, now.
All right, we ain't trying to put
no bad impression on these nice people.
So, your name is Stankershet?
-I thought it was Stanley...
-It is...
Since he also diddy-ass,
he wanna drop the Stankershet.
You know what I'm saying?
I guess he felt like Stanley sounded
a little bit more,
how you say it, cock-a-zoid.
So he ditched the family name
and the family business.
Leave PP alone, just leave him alone.
So tell me, what exactly
is your last name?
I named him
Travis Avante Emmanuel Mount Zion-On-
The-Rock [clicks tongue] Stankershet.
You know I could not decide
between Travis N and Deontay.
So I just combined 'em both,
I think it's kinda cute, ain't it?
Sounds Swahili, don't it? [clicks tongue]
Y'all wanna see some pictures?
Mamma, don't do the pictures...
Hey, boy, look at me.
Now, don't get your ass whooped in front
of these little Malaysians up in here.
Your mamma's just happy to see you,
you understand?
Yes, sir.
[gong rings]
Oh, shit. What the hell is that?
Dinner is almost ready.
You could have just told us that.
Would you like to freshen up little bit,
before the meal?
I'm sure you're very exhausted
after the fright.
Yeah, the fright was the damn gong, okay?
But I'll freshen up.
'Cause the funk is real.
I don't know what that means,
but okay, excellent.
John, you help them with the luggage,
be gentleman.
[speaking Korean]
Okay, I love to show you to you rooms.
Stop now. All right, baby.
You done good, PP. Did a good job, boy.
[Sarge grunts and mutters]
Come on, sergeant, I'll show you
to your room.
At ease, soldier.
Sir, yes, sir.
[shouting] Ten-hut.
Forward march.
Why did you invite
my family over here too?
I can't believe...
What the hell were you thinkin'?
I don't know.
I just wanted both of our families
to finally meet.
I mean, they were gonna meet
eventually anyways, right?
I thought you'd be happy to see
everybody together.
Yeah, but not like this.
I was thinking more
of a controlled environment,
like a wrestling ring or something.
I'm done. This is over. We're done.
Babe, we just have to last two more days.
Look, introductions are always tough.
-The worst is behind us.
-Yeah, but you've never actually lived
with the Stankershets before.
Okay, so tell me.
Your brother seems a little interesting.
Is he a war vet or something?
No, he was just a chef.
He actually never saw combat at all.
He dropped the pot on his foot, and got
medically discharged after three months.
My sister is obsessed with veterans.
She is adopted, so I think
maybe her birth-parents were
war vets or something, I don't know.
Well, she's going to enjoy
some very interesting yet false stories.
Look, we need to get back out there.
They're waiting on us.
Do we have to?
-It's only because I love you.
-I know.
Let's go, Stankershet.
[gong rings]
[Nip] Oh, my God!
Dingo, come look at this.
Look at this, this is amazing!
[Dingo] Ooh, Lord, look at that!
That is real fancy dancy, ain't it, baby?
[Nip] Yes, it is.
Looks like the Last Supper. Is that Jesus?
[laughing loudly]
Reminds me of that buffet I went to
down in Boca Luce.
Fancy dancy!
PP, you've done good, boy.
Hold on now. Wait a minute.
Sarge, you need to help me here.
-[Nip] Come on, help your daddy...
-[Dingo groans loudly]
[Dingo] Oh, Lord Jesus!
Mom, Dad, why do you all
have on those robes?
Baby, come on, we saw all y'all
in your little fancy robes.
I didn't know if it was gonna be
a toga party or an orgy.
[Nip and Dingo laughs]
We didn't wanna mess up on the tradition.
-Didn't we?
-We did our research.
-[gong rings loudly]
-Oh, my God!
Man, you gonna give me a heart attack!
Need to give a nigga a warning first.
I think I squirted. Excuse me.
[chef] Good evening, lady and gentleman.
[greeting each other in Korean]
Say, that's like some voodoo shit.
-Who is that?
-I don't know.
-Why you asking me?
-My name is Ho-Jin
Oh, who?
He... He's a premier chef from Korea.
He's gonna be serving us all weekend.
[Dingo] Nip, he kinda looks Chinese to me.
All Asians ain't Chinese, okay?
And he's from Korea.
So that means he's Korean/Asian.
Look like a white guy to me.
No, Snow White.
She the dwarf.
John, you did outdone yourself.
He done flown that man
all the way from Cholerea.
How much did that set you back, John?
It's Korea,
and probably more than you could fathom.
What? You tryin' to be funny, John?
I couldn't fathom?
What you mean by that?
I'd get some of that teriyaki chicken
with some of them ol' sweet and sour pork.
Lemme get that egg-drop soup,
and I want the two egg rolls
with the sweet and sour sauce.
-What you want, baby?
-I want the orange flavored chicken...
[Dingo] And my wife want the orange
flavored chicken and the fried rice.
I'm just saying right now,
ain't got no cash on me, I give you...
[Courtney] Wait, wait, guys.
This is not that kind of dinner.
-It's already...
-[Sarge] Actually, I'll go
with the teriyaki chicken
with that broccoli.
-Don't get that...
-You know I gotta stay on my health.
You never know when a man gotta go
back to war.
You actually fought in the war?
Little lady, butchered hundred of bodies
with these bare hands.
[exclaims in amazement]
He lie like a rug.
[slaps the table in rage and shouts]
This is not a Chinese restaurant.
No, no, no, no.
Your meal is being catered.
This is not an all-you-can-eat buffet.
There's no need to place your order.
So, can we please get back
to this evening?
His ass better stop spitting on me.
-[Dingo] Let me say something to you.
-[chef] Thank you, kitchen...
You need to stop yelling at me
and my family.
That's some bullshit.
[Nip] Now, we sitting up here
in this man's house
at his little-bitty-ass table, okay?
If he wanna act that way, just let him.
-We're here for the children, all right?
-Children. That's right.
Thank you. Thank you, Napetheria.
Oh, please! It's Niphateria Lorraine
James [clicks tongue] Stankershet.
I don't need an echo.
You need to fix this shit, PP.
Mr. Clancy, I'm sure my parents
mean no disrespect.
-They're probably just a little tired...
-And hungry.
And they're just
not used to your wife's customs.
No need to apologize.
[speaking Korean]
I'm sorry for my actions and my outburst.
As you should be.
Apology accepted.
[Nip] Okay, this is him
when he was a baby.
-[Nip laughs]
-[Dingo] Look at that...
[everyone speaking together]
We don't wanna see photo albums...
He wasn't cross-eyed, he was cockeyed.
You never knew which way
he was looking to. He was here,
he was there, he was like... [cackles]
Oh, Lord, his hair was so nappy!
I couldn't even get a comb through it,
unless I put a perm in it.
And this is him
in his pink Power Rangers pajamas.
-So cute!
-You know what,
this boy used to wear pink so much,
he loved pink.
Made me nervous.
Yeah, made me scared.
[Dingo] I was worried.
Nigga loved pink so much
I thought he gonna be a goddamn princess.
I mean, not that I've got anything
against princesses.
-No, you know, baby.
-He would have been
the only goddamn princess in office.
Mamma, we don't need the pictures...
Honey, is that when you peed on yourself?
[Stankershets laughing]
How sweet!
Hey! Mamma, put the pictures away,
okay, and can we just focus
on something little more positive.
Yeah, Dad, what was your news?
-Now is not the time.
-Now is as good a time as any, dear.
-I don't know.
-Something better happen,
'cause I'm hungry.
-Daddy, come on, what is it?
-Your father has decided
to run for office!
Yeah, everybody clapping!
But daddy, that is amazing.
It's just the State Senate.
Nothing's set in stone.
Come on, the Governor is going to be here
in two days.
If your father gain his endorsement,
he going to be the... No, having the...
Shoe up...
-[John] In
-[Sue] Shoe in.
In what?
Anyway, he have the shoe somewhere.
-Daddy, that is so great.
-I bet you running as a Republican.
As a matter of fact, yes, I am.
You gt a problem with that?
I see you living well, John.
You done all right for yourself,
down here in Uncle Tom's cabin,
or should I say [in Korean accent]
Mister Wong's cabin.
[speaking Korean]
Speak English, nigga.
I said your ghetto ass is ignorant.
[Dingo] Son of a bitch!
I will give it to him.
[Nip shouting] Stop it.
[the Stankershets shouting]
[Dingo] No, you're the ignorant.
No, we can't do this shit, man. Come on...
[John shrieking in anger]
[Nip] Hey, okay, wait a minute.
Wait a damn minute.
[John] I have never in my entire life...
What a spectacle!
Ruined my entire dinner.
The unmitigated gall.
John, you did not have to be so abrasive.
These people come in,
and ruin my entire evening.
-And you're finding me at fault.
-It's no one's fault, John.
It's just is what it is.
Our daughter, she is in love
with that young man.
And the PP, he in love with her too.
And we should just accept him
and his family,
and leave it at that.
[sarcastically] Yeah, love, love.
Well, the jury is still out on that.
[seductively] John! John!
Have you noticed what I wearing to bed?
-Look at all this.
-Yes, I see all this.
Okay, Sue, you gotta...
I don't have time for your shenanigans.
I'm tired.
John Clancy, you promised me we would
take advantage
of our time together this weekend
to strengthen our relationship.
Yeah, but... Really, sweetheart, you don't
expect me to pounce on you
when our home is being invaded.
Sue! Invaded!
Well, I glad something is being
invaded around here for a change.
-No! Don't...
-No, you said you are going to hit that,
or tap that ass, or something like that.
-I was...
-Nothing happening here.
-All right.
-You so mean.
I buy this negligee.
It's negligee, honey.
-No, no, no!
-All right, Oh, shit!
Yes, okay, honey.
All right, go to sleep...
All right, ooh, I'll tap that ass.
-That doesn't count.
-All right.
What good is donkey-size cock,
if you don't ever use it?
-God damn!
-Vagina filled with cobweb now.
[Nip] Don't have time for this.
I don't have time for...
You actin' like you don't have no options.
-Nip, Nip, I'm not gonna...
-Manners, you know better than that.
But you think you the victim all the time.
-You are not the victim, Dingo.
-[Travis clears throat]
-[Travis] What's up?
-[Nip] Baby.
I just wanted to come in and say
that I'm happy you guys are here.
Definitely surprised.
We're glad to be here.
You tell that little lady of yours
that we apologize for everything.
Don't apologize for me.
-She should be apologizing to us
for having Satan as her dad.
Dingo, I don't need
to hear all that right now.
I don't get it, son.
-What do you see in these people?
-Mr. Clancy is my boss.
Okay? And his daughter is the love
of my life.
Shit! What does love gotta do with this?
Gettin' yourself all mixed up
with these kinda people.
It's not worth it, son.
-Just try to make this work.
-We will.
-I ain't gonna promise.
-We will make it work.
Speak for yourself.
Thank you, Mamma.
I love you, baby.
I love you too.
Get you some rest, baby.
-Love you, guys.
-All right, love you too, honey.
Close the door behind you, baby.
[door closes]
I am done with you.
And we ain't seen that boy, what,
in a month of Sundays?
The first thing you wanna do
after that girl done flew us out here,
first class...
you're gonna show your ass.
I got something to show you,
but it ain't gonna be my ass.
I ain't playing with you, Dingo.
Come on, Nip. Don't make more outta this
than it is.
Make more out of it?
What are you talking about?
We promised Travis Avante that we would
come out here and we would support him.
I'm sorry.
Now, Travis needs to know that.
He needs to feel that from you.
He needs to feel that from the family.
He needs to feel it from all of us.
Okay, sugar cheeks.
All I'm saying is I don't wanna see
our son, PP,
turn into one of those diddy folks.
If that is what he chooses to do,
then, baby, let him do it.
Okay, he loves that girl.
And it ain't up to us to question that.
I need you to promise me you gonna be
on your best behavior this weekend,
or no sweet cheeks for you for a month.
-A month?
-A month. You wanna make it two?
Two months? I can't do without that thing
for two months.
Wanna get some now? Get some later?
Ooh, I can't stand your ass.
Come on, baby...
I don't know what you been doing to me.
Damn you, Dingo.
Come on with this thing.
Came all the way out here.
I'm gonna give you something.
You gonna be on your best behavior?
-I promise.
-You promise you're gonna be
on your best behavior?
I promise, mommy.
-Yes, mommy.
-Yeah, that's right.
Imma be good.
[Nip shouting]
[both shouting excitedly]
I'm so sorry.
It's completely my fault.
Actually, it's my fault.
I should have told your Dad.
I should have told you.
I'm the one who should be apologizing.
We can't lose sight of what's important.
That's me and you,
and our future together.
You're right.
[Catherine] Who is it?
[whispers] You have to be quiet.
It's certain somebody's watching.
[Sarge sighs and grunts]
-[shouts] Are you ready for war?
-Yes, sergeant, yes, yes!
There are insurgents everywhere. Move!
[Sarge shouts] There's a bomb.
[Catherine screams]
[whispers] I saw somebody.
[whispers] Move out.
[exclaims excitedly]
[serene music playing]
[Travis] Oh, gosh!
So, this wasn't just a nightmare?
[Courtney] No, babe, it wasn't.
But today is a new day,
and a second chance.
Okay, so what's happening today?
Well, today is beach day.
We spend the day
at our family's private beach.
Come on, you need to get up. Gotta go.
Okay, we can go, but there's
just something that I have to tell you.
[whispers] You have to come closer.
I think we have a little time
before we leave.
We can do a quickie.
Babe, there's a lot of people
in the house.
-You sure?
-Who cares? Come on.
[Courtney giggles]
-[Courtney screams]
-[Dingo] Oh, shit!
Son, God damn it! I'm your daddy,
I can't see shit like that.
[Nip] Oh, no! We got real hard dickey.
[Nip cackles]
You all right, girl? He didn't hurt you?
Unless you want him to.
Damn, I'm on a roll this morning.
[Dingo] I'm proud of you, boy.
-Hey, look here.
-I know you proud too, Courtney.
Look at me.
Hey, show 'em how
the Stankershet men get down.
-Pop that thing, boy.
-Don't be shy.
[Dingo] And watch this... Pop that thing.
Your mamma knows what it's all about.
Pop that coochie.
Pop that coochie, baby!
Pop that coochie, baby!
Pop that coochie, baby!
Pop that coochie, baby!
Pop that coochie, baby!
Pop that coochie, baby!
[shouts in excitement]
[Travis] Hey, hey, hey!
-Who's ready for the beach?
We gonna go, and give y'all some privacy.
[Nip] Yeah, we got some things to do.
Pop that coochie, baby!
Pop that coochie, baby!
Pop that coochie, baby!
Pop that coochie, baby!
Pop that coochie, baby!
Pop that coochie, baby!
Come on, let's go.
-I like that song.
[grunts in anger]
[hip hop music playing]
-[Nip] Yeah, baby!
-[Sue] You all look so prepared.
Are you going for a swim?
[Dingo] We don't swim, but we dance, baby!
We want the funk, ow!
Gotta have that funk
We want the funk
Sing it! Gotta have that funk
Mr. Clancy, my father is also
a businessman, just like yourself.
He has a string of restaurants,
barbecue restaurants.
-in Louisiana...
-Best cue in all of Louisiana, boy.
Let me get this right.
You come from a long line
of stuffed, saturated meat?
Trying to call me fat?
-[Nip] No, baby.
-[Dingo] Let me tell you something, buddy.
I was the best junior varsity running-back
to come out of Paschal High School.
Class of 1972, baby!
[John and Dingo arguing]
I smell a challenge.
[Stankershets] Challenge!
-[Dingo] I'm ready.
-I got the pigskin right here!
No, no challenge...
[Stankershets and John arguing]
[Sarge exclaims energetically]
[hip hop music playing]
Can I ask you something?
You keep feeding me these margaritas,
you can ask me whatever the hell you want.
How do you do it?
How I do what, baby?
You and Dingo. You have that spark,
you know.
Always hot... On fire.
Sexy time.
Like he always down in you...
Ooh! Girl, you turning me on right now.
[hip hop music continues]
Do you still love John?
Of course.
Without question, John is my whole world.
I just don't know
if he's still attracted to me.
Now, don't don't be sad
and all insecure, honey.
Men can't stand that. Stop all of that.
I'm gonna give you the rules, okay?
First of all, you gotta trust in God.
Okay, and then, when you're arguing,
if becoming right becomes more important
than being in love,
then you just gotta let it go. Okay?
-Oh, preach!
Oh, and most importantly, girl,
you have got to seduce your man.
[Sue exclaims in happiness]
[music continues]
[Sue and Nip] Whoo!
[music stops]
You gotta make him think
that you would do anything
that them heifers out on the streets
would do, and then some.
So I have to do as much as them heifer?
-No, you gotta be...
-Better than heifer?
Girl, just be the heifer, the ho,
and all of that.
Imma also give you the special recipe
that I got for a very special cocktail.
I call it the Stanky-leg Stankershet shot.
[both exclaiming and laughing]
Honey, I put this on Dingo
every time we go a few days without,
and baby, presto, change-o!
Oh, cock-tail! I make a joke.
Could that make John go back
to secret garden?
I've been whipping up that concoction
for ten years. Okay?
And I'm telling you, I damn near needed
a hip replacement.
You see why he walk with a stanky leg.
He's not even pimp walking.
Hell, he limp walking.
You ready? You ready for this?
[Dingo] Y'all ain't ready, let's go.
PP, did they hit your peanut?
PP, here I come, baby! PP!
[screaming] PP!
[Nip] My baby is allergic to peanuts. PP!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Relax. Lay back down.
You fainted earlier at the beach.
How do you feel?
My throat is a little scratchy.
My ass feels like a pincushion
but other than that I'm okay.
Your face is still a little swollen.
What? Why is my face swollen?
What happened?
-Your brother put peanuts in your...
[Courtney] Stop. Lay down. Just relax.
It's a good thing your mom was there.
What's that supposed to mean, Court?
Why didn't you tell me
you're allergic to peanuts, Travis?
As long as we've been together
you have never told me
if you have a peanut,
you could possibly die.
Because I had everything under control.
Uh... obviously not. Look at your face.
I can't look at my face.
How was I supposed to know that my brother
was gonna try to poison me
to win a stupid football game?
This wasn't part of the plan, Travis.
It also wasn't part of the plan for you
to bring my family here, Courtney.
Your family wouldn't be here,
if you would have just introduced
me sooner, like a normal boyfriend.
You just filed them away
in your little box of secrets,
Travis Deontay.
Let's just face it.
Maybe I don't know you
as well as I thought I did.
-Really, Courtney?
You don't know me now?
So, like, is it true that you killed a man
with your bare hands?
[Sarge] Woman, I kill hundreds.
-Probably even thousands of 'em.
Gettin' my numbers together.
Shoo, I'm a Stankershet.
Part of the mandingo tribe.
You know what I'm sayin'. [chuckles]
But we gotta keep this on a hush-hush.
I think Daddy Clancy might be on to us.
You think my dad's on to us.
Well... He's really caught up
in my brother.
But he should worry about me.
-[Sarge laughs]
-[Catherine] Mmm...
Tell me more about war.
[romantic song playing]
[phone beeps]
[scoffs] What the hell!
I'm ready to offer you
the Billy Clapton deal.
Billy Clapton deal. What's that?
Here's my offer. It's a one-time deal.
If you leave this room,
the deal's off the table.
I will hire you...
at Clancy Lynch and Associates
in our New York offices,
and you'll be under contract employment
for eight years.
-Mr. Clancy, I don't...
For ten years you'll be at one of the top
law firms in America.
You'll be able to write your own ticket
after that.
All you have to do
is stay away from my daughter.
What do you say?
Before you answer...
just know that if you decline my offer,
not only will you not work
at Clancy Lynch and Associates,
but I will ruin you.
I will blackball you so hard,
you won't be able to judge
a pie eating contest. [guffaws]
Your career would be over
before it begins.
I'll let you think about that
for a moment.
I gotta get ready for breakfast.
You can use my pen.
Ho-Jin quit!
Oh, no! What about the Governor dinner?
Who tampered with the food?
[muffled chattering]
[John] Somebody did.
Nobody tampered with the food.
[Sue] What?
-Fine, I did it.
Okay, but I didn't mean no harm,
I'm sorry.
PP, I'm sorry, baby.
But I thought we could all use
a good meal.
Back at home that's what we do.
Families pray together, they eat together,
and they stay together.
Hell, y'all ate all the food!
You ate yours too, didn't you?
I ate some.
Turn to your neighbor and say,
"It was delicious."
[all] It was delicious.
Whoo! Finger lickin' good!
I'm... I'm sorry.
[speaking Korean]
[replies in Korean]
[speaking Korean]
All right, you... You know what?
I got enough of this.
Yeah, all you hooligans out!
-[Nip] Who's a hooligan?
-Now, wait a goddamn minute.
We are not hooligans.
Daddy, it's okay, it's okay.
Don't ever disrespect my wife
in front of me.
You done did it now!
[Travis] Hey, hey, hey!
[all clamor]
That is enough, John Clancy.
You stop that right now!
All of you, get out of my house right now,
before I call the police.
-Come on, let's go.
-Out, out.
Hell, I done wasted another outfit.
-Come on, Courtney, let's go.
-Courtney is not goin' anywhere.
She is a Clancy, and she always will be.
It's okay, son.
Let me tell you somethin',
I'm happy to leave,
get back to the hood
where people are civilized.
Well, that's a good thing, because I would
never allow my daughter to date trash.
No problem.
[Sue] Oh, no!
[loudly] Oh, no!
Yeah, you had that comin'.
You son of a bitch.
[sirens wailing]
[phone ringing]
-[Travis] Joey! Joey!
-Yeah, man.
I'm in jail. I need you to do somethin'.
I need you to bail me out.
What are you doin' in a jail cell?
[stutters] I don't know, this has
just been the worst weekend ever.
Can you explain to me how I lost
my girlfriend and my job
all in the same day, because for the life
of me, I can't figure it out.
You what?
Look, man, I don't know what's goin' on,
but, look, hang tight.
Imma make some calls, and Imma get you
out of there, all right?
Okay, all right, all right. Hurry up.
[door unbolts]
I used to... I used to be an actor.
Yeah, why did you quit?
I just didn't...
I just didn't love it enough.
You know...
We only quit on the stuff
that we don't love.
But what we do love... You gotta hold on.
You got... Never let go.
You have to let it go.
Talkin' about... Trying to let this...
Tryin' to get...
Man, you got a dollar?
That's why you gotta stay in school.
Mind is a terrible thing to waste,
isn't it?
You're a mess, D.
Amen, brother!
Holla. No, no.
You know, Papa,
you didn't have to hit him.
Yeah, well, I wasn't gonna let him
keep disrespecting you, son.
But the reason we in here
is 'cause you cussed at the police.
Well, I wasn't gonna let 'em
keep disrespecting my daddy.
Son, I got a lot on my mind
I wanna talk to you about, man.
I gotta be honest with you.
You know, son, you really hurt
my feelings, man.
What made you go off and change your name?
I knew it, papa.
This never had nothing to do
with the Clancys.
Papa, you and me ain't been
the same since...
Since I didn't wanna run
the family business.
You better run that business,
you better...
Help the family.
Hey, hey, hey...
My daddy's granddaddy passed it down
to him.
My daddy passed it down to me.
And I'm just disappointed, son,
that's what I wanted for you.
And if it was good enough for them,
good enough for me,
why wasn't it good enough for you?
See, that's the thing. It's not that
it wasn't good enough for me, Papa.
I just wanted something else.
And if I remember correctly,
you didn't want to run
the family business either.
Yeah, you was trying to be
the next B. B. King
on the saxophone.
-Man, please.
I was pretty good on the saxophone.
You were quite good with that.
But the point is... I gave all that up
to run the family business.
Dad, just because you gave up
your dreams...
doesn't mean I have to be the same thing.
[somber music playing]
[phone beeps]
[somber music continues]
Look, I don't care where you get it from.
Just get it here now!
As it stands, we have nothing to feed
the Governor and his wife
except leftovers.
You knew?
-You knew that it wasn't about the job.
You knew, and you still let him
get arrested.
You let me let him walk out this house
in handcuffs!
[stutters] What do we really know
about Travis and his family anyway?
I know that he loves me.
All right, yes, I offered him a job,
but he turned it down.
So you knew that he wanted to spend
the rest of his life with me,
and you let him and his father
get arrested anyway?
I didn't press charges.
The man assaulted me.
Listen, sweetheart,
they are not Clancy material.
Now, they ruined our weekend,
and possibly,
my chances with the Governor.
What am I even still doing here?
I'm gonna go get them out of jail.
-See here, young lady...
-No, you see here,
I don't care what Travis' real name is.
I don't care about his peanut allergies,
and I don't care if you don't like
his family.
That's the man that I love,
and hopefully, I'm gonna marry one day,
if I didn't screw that up already.
Look, sweetheart, I just want
-what's best for you...
-No, you only want
what's best for yourself.
You're gonna make
a fine politician one day.
You're only good at stepping on others
for what you want.
Mom, I just...
What if I lost him forever, Mom?
[softly] No...
I should have been there for him.
Why did I listen to dad, Mom?
Why did I listen?
[Sue singing in Korean]
[Korean song playing]
We'll get him out in one second.
Just wait right here.
Travis Ayontay and Henry Stankershet.
[guy in cell laughs]
That's Travis Ayontay...
Emmanuel Mount Zion
On-The-Rock [clicks tongue] Stankershet.
Hi, I'd like to set bail
for Travis Ayontay Stankershet.
-And Henry...
-I'd like to apologize, ma'am,
but they've already made bail.
They've already made bail?
Yes, ma'am.
Okay, thank you.
-[dial tone ringing]
-Come on, Travis, pick up.
-Hey, you've reached Travis Stanley.
Leave a message at the beep.
Hey, it's me again,
calling you for the millionth time.
Travis, I'm so sorry
about what happened today.
I really should have
been there for you. [sighs]
I don't care
about anything else right now.
Please, please, please,
just give me a call.
I love you.
[John shouting] Courtney.
[Courtney] Yes, I'm coming,
I'm getting dressed.
Okay, come on.
You can set the hors d'oeuvre over there.
Smells delicious!
And I have all your change of clothes
in the other room.
Thank you so much, Mrs. Clancy.
This really means a lot.
Ooh, don't mention it!
Okay, this better work, PP.
[all whispering softly]
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah, that's a good one.
That's what I'm tryin'...
Oh, April, Richard,
this is my younger daughter, Courtney.
-Oh, yes, Courtney!
-Good evening, Governor.
-[John] Honey?
-[Sue] Yes, what?
-Well, what?
-Oh, the food!
-[John] Yes!
[Sue] Oh, the food... They're here.
It... It's here. There...
There, over there, the food is... Oh, boy!
Almost ready.
Any moment now.
Oh, good!
[Governor] It smells amazing.
-Yes, yes.
-[Sue] Thank you.
-Slightly familiar.
-[John] Yes...
Richard, I feel that with your backing
-and your constituent support...
-Oh, John, John.
Please, if there's one thing
you're gonna learn about politics,
it's not to discuss them
on an empty stomach.
Sit down. Stay, shh...
-Just a bunch of stress.
-[John] Yes indeed. Absolutely.
-It does smell delicious...
-[John] Yes.
I would like to propose a toast.
[rings glass with spoon]
Glasses. Here is to dear friends,
and the love of family.
What more could a man ask?
Hear, hear.
-[John] God! Here we go.
-[Governor] Now, let's eat.
[John] All right.
-That's not salmon!
-No, something even better.
[angrily] You!
This smell, I know this smell.
What are you doing here?
-What's going on here?
-Nothing that won't be
rectified real quickly. Yeah.
Sue, call the police.
Daddy, stop!
-You better get over here.
-[dish clatters]
This is breaking and entering.
-I'll can call the police on you.
Do you know what I'm saying?
-[Dingo] Let me tell you something.
-[John] What?
It's not what you think it is.
What the hell is it then?
Are you completely
trying to ruin me, you, you,
you ghetto fossil?
-A what?
-You heard me.
Just like home.
-It's delicious.
-You know I have every legal right...
[angrily] John Clancy,
you look ridiculous.
-I... I just...
-No, you stop that right now.
Why you have to always think
only about yourself?
I ask you fix this, you no fix this.
We all trying to get you stopping.
Don't you remember...
you and I first meeting?
We so in love.
Our parent, they no support us.
That was very painful.
Only thing important is your daughter.
Look at your daughter, she is so happy.
You see how she look at this fool,
and he look at her same way?
John, they both happy.
Remember, we used to be happy.
Mr. Clancy,
this is probably all my fault.
But I've been trying to get this out
this entire weekend.
I really love your daughter,
and I'm willing to do anything
to make her happy
for the rest of our lives.
Just like my parents,
and just like you and Mrs. Clancy.
Guess what I'm trying to ask you is...
Can I he your daughter's hand
in marriage, sir?
Courtney Clancy, would you make me
the happiest man alive?
Will you be my wife?
Yes, yes.
Oh, everybody clapping!
[everyone applauding]
That's my PP!
Congratulations, son.
[everyone cheering]
[Dingo] Get your ass in here.
[everyone chattering excitedly]
Welcome to the family.
-[Governor] This was amazing, John.
-[John] Yes.
But I still don't know how you knew.
How he knew what?
Very few people know that my mother
was born and raised in Louisiana.
Louisiana! Surprise!
Every summer, we used to go there,
visit her family.
And before we left the state,
she'd take me out for barbeque.
Yes, yes!
To a little, old rib shack.
That old shack that was...
You had no idea. I do.
And then I show up here
and it's on your dinner table.
Aww, that is amazing story.
I hear they used to serve their ribs
on the underground railroad as well.
Yes, yeah, yeah, I think, Harriet Tubman
had the number three...
John Clancy...
any man with that attention to detail
deserved my endorsement for senator.
[grunts excitedly]
Well, thank you, thank you, Richard,
you won't be disappointed.
You keep those ribs comin',
-then I don't suppose I will.
-Oh, absolutely, absolutely!
Well, thank you, guys, so much for coming.
Oh, and hey, if they're interested
in franchising,
I think we can all do some business.
Absolutely, I can make a little money
on the side.
You two have a wonderful evening.
-And please congratulate
your daughter again for me.
[John] Oh, yes, yes, yes! Absolutely.
Nice to see you. Thank you.
[speaking Korean]
Thank you for coming.
-[Dingo] You gotta go ahead...
-Oh, no. All right!
Okay, but don't pay us no never-mind.
Not a problem, Niphateria,
what can I do for you?
I think the question
is what I can do for you.
I made a little Stanky-leg Stankershet
shot for you, Mr. John.
Just want you to go on
and give it a little swirl.
-Get your life, baby.
-It's gonna change your life.
Don't mind if it does.
You know what you need to do.
Get your life.
In five, four, three, two...
[Dingo and John] Oh, shit!
Watch your step.
-Show me what you're working with.
-Show me what you're working with.
Ooh, baby.
-[Dingo] You know what I'm saying?
-[John] Let me holler at you
for a second in the room there.
Oh, John!
Have fun, John.
Pop that thing, pop that thing, pop it!
-[John] Come on!
-You know my... My safe word is kimchi.
[both shouting and screaming
in excitement]
Pop that thing, John. Pop that thing, boy.
You welcome.
No, no, no, no!
-[romantic song starts playing]
-Oh, my God! Baby, you hear that? Listen.
Oh, my God!
Oh, that's our song, baby.
Now, you get this going.
-Oh, baby.
-I love that song.
-We met on that song.
-No, we did it on that song,
What you talking about?
Thank you, Mr. Stankershet.
For what, baby?
Being the man that I always loved.
I love makin' you happy.
And you know exactly how to make me happy.
I love you, baby.
I love you.
Got some movement.
-What's that?
-That's the mandingo.
Houston, we ain't got no problems.
Ooh, Lord, told you
not to give me that cocktail.
Damn, that worked fast this time.
Hey, when that thing wake up,
it gotta go to work.
[both starts singing]
Hey, man, we forgot you was there.
I wanted to say that...
I'm really happy you guys came.
I mean, I couldn't have done all this
without you guys.
-I love you, Mamma.
-I love you, PP.
-And I love you, Pop.
-Thank you, son, love you too.
And you, girl, if you ain't my damn twin!
I swear we are identical! Come here, girl.
I love you, baby. [squeals]
Welcome to the family.
-Thank you, Mr. Stankershet.
-Always a pleasure.
Such a nice, young lady.
Me and your mamma, we got Bible study
on Wednesday, we gonna go upstairs.
Praise His light.
Got some scriptures to study.
[indistinct chatter and laughter]
Let's go, baby.
-Start taking your top off.
-Okay, all right.
[Dingo] Start taking your top off now.
Oh, Lord Jesus!
We gonna see y'all.
-Come on.
-[Nip] First man to the bed.
Oh, I got that thing!
[Dingo catcalls] Come on, baby.
It's not Wednesday.
[both laugh]
Oh, babe, I love your parents.
I think they love you too.
-Mr. Stankershet.
-Oh, Mrs. Stankershet.
That's Courtney Marie Mount Zion-
On-The-Rock [clicks tongue] Stankershet.
-I love you.
-I love you more.
[Travis] Have you ever been in the middle
of everything in your life
completely falling into place?
And you stop and ask yourself,
where did it all go right?
The jury punishing me now.
-[Sue] Oh, officer.
-[John] Yeah.
-[Sue] I so bad.
-[John] You so bad!
-[Sue] I criminal.
-[John] Yes.
-All right!
Oh, yes!
Oh, no, that one exit-only hole!
Kimchi! Kimchi!
-Yes, tap that ass.
-I'm tapping that ass.
Thank you, Jesus. I go back to church now.
[soft music playing]