Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) Movie Script

Aah!
Whoa!
Operator, haven't you
been able to get me...
the express office
in Florida yet?
Yes, I know it takes time to
call from London to the States.
But please hurry.
It's terribly important!
Answer that phone.
Answer the bell!
Answer the phone!
- Which do you want me to answer first?
- Both of'em.
Both of'em.
Both of'em!
Hold the line, please.
Thank you.
I'd like to have my
grip, please. Yes, ma'am.
Let me see that.
They came in on the last train.
We haven't unloaded the truck yet.
Go out and get the lady's grip.
Hurry up.
Excuse me, please.
Lady, here's your bag.
What are you trying to do, ruin the
lady's baggage? Where is it? This one.
There you are. I'm sorry. Thank you.
Come on, clean this up.
Straighten it out.
Wilbur, darling,
are you all right?
Sandra, I hurt
my poor little head.
Your head?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, no.
Does this hurt?
Uh-uh.
Does that hurt?
Uh-uh.
Thank heaven. If anything
happened to you, dearest,
I'd never
forgive myself.
That kiss made everything
all better.
You worry about me
an awful lot, don't you?
You mean an awful lot to me. Tell me more.
I will... at dinner tonight. Okay.
Get up and go to work! That is, if
your head doesn't bother you too much.
His head is all right. It is?
But is your head all right?
Certainly. Frankly, I don't get it.
And frankly,
you never will.
I can't understand
that dame.
Of all the guys around here, that classy
dish has to pick out a guy like you.
What's wrong with that? Look at
yourself in the mirror sometime.
Why should I hurt
my own feelings?
Go answer the phone.
I'll pick these up.
Baggage room.
London?
Calling here?
This ain't collect, is it?
Oh, all right.
Put him on.
Hello? Do you have two crates addressed
to the McDougal House of Horrors?
What's the number on the
checks? Never mind that.
Tonight the moon will be full.
I haven't much time.
Listen closely.
I'm flying out of here at dawn.
Under no circumstances are you to
deliver those crates until I arrive.
Understand?
Under...
Under...
Mr. McDougal, will you stop
gargling your throat?
Hey, you'll have to get your dog away from
the phone. I can't hear a word you're sayin'.
You're silly to call me all the way from
London just to have your dog talk to me.
That's great conversation.
The guy growls like a wolf.
The nerve of some people!
What can I do for you, bub?
I have two crates addressed to my House
of Horrors, and I want immediate delivery.
My name's McDougal. McDougal? I just
talked to you on the phone from London.
How'd you get here so fast? They shoot
you out of a cannon? Are you crazy?
I've been here all the time.
Now get me those crates!
How long you been here? Five minutes.
I've been here five years,
you don't see me yelling...
There's the insurance slip and the
bill of lading. Now get me those crates!
Will you please stop yellin'? Come
here. It's impolite to raise your voice.
Chick! Why didn't you give
me these in the first place?
Chi... Chick, this man
wants these crates.
Insured for $20,000.
We better look these up.
Must be valuable. I'll
say they're valuable.
Wilbur?
Yes, Sandra?
He's busy.
Please.
That little fellow's impossible.
Hurry up with those crates!
Do you know what I've got in
there? Haven't the slightest idea.
The greatest attraction the House
of Horrors ever had, that's all.
One of them's a coffin containing the
remains of the original Count Dracula.
The other's the body
of the Frankenstein monster.
That combination's enough to scare the pants...
I mean, shirt right off your back, ain't it?
I don't scare easily. Neither
do I where money's concerned.
I got 'em cheap. European agent
picked my name right out of thin air.
Very interesting.
Yeah.
Mr. McDougal.
Hey, Chick,
here's one.
Darling,
I have to run along.
Something's come up. That means
we'll have to break our date tonight.
It ain't another man, is it?
Of course not.
Silly boy.
Boy, I'm floatin'
on a cloud of love.
You little blimp, I'll let the air
out of you if you don't give me a hand.
You understand that?
Thank you.
Boy, is this kid lost.
Take that rope. Get up on that box
and tie it to that handle up there.
Okay.
Nothing matters no more.
I'm so happy. Go on, get up there!
Here it is.
Hold still now.
Whoa!
Chick!
Stop him! Is he trying to
ruin me? You're insured.
Yes, and if those exhibits are
damaged, I intend to collect.
Whoa!
Well, there you are. Shall
I wrap it up? No, you idiot.
Take those to my House of
Horrors and uncrate them.
If that's the way you handle baggage, I'm
going to have the insurance agent there...
to inspect them
before I accept delivery.
Then it's gonna cost you
overtime because I'm a union man.
I work only 16 hours a day. A union
man only works eight hours a day.
I belong
to two unions!
Get those down to my place! All right.
Hey, Wilbur, here's a key. Open the door.
I'm not gonna like this.
Come on, gimme a hand.
Come on,
get it inside.
Pull it! You want me
to do all the work?
Come on, help me
with it, will ya?
Uh-oh. What's the matter now?
Somebody's got a knife
in my back. Oh, nonsense!
Where's the switch?
Here.
Sandra should
see you now.
Turn around. Look what you're afraid of.
Turn around!
I... Come on, get up on
your feet. It's only a dummy.
Dummy nothin'. It was
smart enough to scare me.
Get ahold of the box.
Go ahead.
Come on,
swing it around.
Help a little bit.!
Oh!
Ah, ah!
You fraidy-cat. These things can't
harm ya. They're made out of wax.
People pay McDougal cash to
come in here and get scared.
I'm cheatin' him. I'm
gettin' scared for nothin'.
Go ahead and push.
Don't knock anything over.
There we are. Now we get the
dolly out from underneath there.
Lift up that end.
Lift it up!
Come on, come on.
There you are.
Put it down, put it down.
Do I have to do all the work?
I'll get it down.
Put it down.
Go ahead.
Now open it up.
I'm going out and get the
other crate. And no back talk!
I've got just two words to
say to you. What is that?
Hurry back.
Aah!
Hello?
Yes, Mr. McDougal.
Yeah, the crates are here.
Wilbur's opening one now.
Mm-hmm.
Everything's all right.
Okay, Mr. McDougal.
Good-bye.
Chick?
Oh, Chi... ick!
What's the matter?
Did you turn out the light? Certainly not.
They're out.
So what?
Maybe the lightning
struck the power line.
I get in more messes around
here. Take off that canvas.
Take it off?
Take it off!
Hey, a coffin!
C-Coffin.
Dracula crest.
Dracula's crest.
I wonder if Mr. McDougal expects people
to think that Dracula's really in there.
No, don't.
Please don't.
Oh, now come, come. Dracula
was just a legendary character.
He never existed. Certainly not. No?
Fold up this canvas. I'm going
out and get the other crate.
If you want me, just holler
"Oh, Chick!" You understand?
Oh, Chick!
What?
What kept you?
I haven't left yet.
The next time, don't take so
long. Fold this up. Get busy.
"Count Dracula sleeps
in this coffin...
but rises every night
at sunset. "
Chick is right.
This is silly stuff.
"Dracula... "
Chick! Chi... ick!
What's the matter? You know that
person you said there's no such person?
I think he's in there... in person. I was
reading this sign, "Dracula's Legend. "
All of a sudden I heard...
That's the wind.
It should get oiled.
Stop reading this. That's a lot of
baloney to fool McDougal's customers.
Fold up that canvas.
Get busy. Come on.
"Dracula can change himself
at will into a vampire bat,
flying about
the countryside. "
Flying.
Ooh-ooh-ooh!
Chick!
Chick.!
You're making enough noise
to wake up the dead!
I don't have to wake him up.
He's up. I saw a hand.
You saw a hand? Where? Right over there.
Let me see it.
Where is it?
I saw a hand there! You don't
know what you're talking about!
You're excited reading
this legend. Listen, Wilbur.
I know there's no such person as Dracula.
You know there's no such person as Dracula!
But does Dracula know it? Listen to me.
McDougal will be here any minute with
the insurance agent. Now get to work!
"He keeps himself alive
by drinking the blood... "
Chick. Chick.
Chick.
Chick. Ch...
Ch-Ch-Chick!
Oh!
Listen, this is getting
to be ridiculous.
What?
Are you trying to tell me
that candle moved?
Candles can't move!
This one did.
Watch it.
Keep your eye on it.
Is it moving?
Huh?
It's not moving, is it?
Not now.
Use your brains a bit.
Let's get this job finished.
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
"He keeps himself alive by
drinking the blood of his victims. "
Hmph. "Count Dracula must return
to his coffin before sunrise.
He, he, he...
H-H-He... "
Chick! Chick!
Oh, Chick!
Ha-ha-ha, Chick!
Chick! Oh, oh, oh!
Oh, Chick, come on!
Come on!
All right,
I'm comin'.
Come on, will ya! Wait a
minute. What's wrong now?
Oh, Chick!
You gonna tell me that candle
moved again? Yeah, yeah.
I told you not to read this,
didn't I? I can't help it.
"Count Dracula must return
to his coffin before sunrise,
where he lies helpless
during the day. "
That's the bunk! That's what I'm
trying to tell ya. That's his bunk!
Come here.
Don't, Chick. Come here.
Come here! Come around here!
Come over here.
Look in there.
Now,
do you see anything?
No.
Certainly not.
Help me open that crate. Come on. Hmph.
Get with it,
will you please?
You can always...
"Frankenstein's Monster. "
Get a load of this.
"A scientist named Frankenstein
made a monster...
by sewing together parts
of old, dead bodies. "
Do you have to read that stuff? Wait.
"Frankenstein gave the monster eternal
life by shooting it full of electricity.
Some people claim it is not
dead even now, just dormant. "
Now who'd be silly enough
to believe that?
Who would be silly enough
to believe that?
Me.
Open up that crate.
Chick,
did you hear that?
Yeah, I heard you pulling
the nails out. Go ahead.
Pulling the nails?
Chick?
Quiet.
I don't want to hear any more
of your foolish questions.
Come on,
open up the crate.
There we are.
You've got it.
Now get ahold of it.
Throw it
right on the side.
That's it, fine. Come on,
help me with this excelsior.
Take it all out.
Wow! Look out!
Cover it up!
What's the matter? Cover
the whole... Ooh, ooh!
Aw, stop that!
Uh-oh.
Now you did it.
What are you doing in there
with the lights off?
McDougal!
Now we're in trouble.
Hide that head.
Hurry up!
Master.
Yes.
Come. Follow me.
Don't be afraid.
He won't hurt you.
Come!
Hurry up.
Come.
This better be
a good one.
What's the matter, you
afraid of the dark? No.
Yeah, that's it.
That's it.
What is this?
McDougal is here. I... What's the
matter with you? Snap out of it.
Where are my bodies?
There were no bodies.
We opened both crates.
Look in there.
If they're not here, where
are they? They must be stolen.
My company inspected the
contents before they were shipped.
Then they must've been
stolen en route. You saw them?
No, no. Then where did they go?
I don't know. If they're gone,
I want my insurance money.
My company doesn't pay off
until a full investigation.
If you don't produce those bodies,
I'm going to call the police!
Police?
P-Police!
I can do better than that.
Police!
I'll get you.
Come on, go on!
Let's take it out.
Come!
Good evening,
Dr. Mornay.
My dear Count,
it's so good to see you again.
And you look more charming
than when I saw you last.
Come in, Count Dracula. Thank you, Sandra.
But the name is Dr. Lejos. I wouldn't
want to frighten your technical assistant.
Professor Stevens?
Don't worry.
He's completely engrossed
in his work.
Besides, he should be out of
here by tomorrow. Excellent.
Yes, except that he's asking
too many questions.
I will take care of that.
Is everything else arranged?
Yes. Where did you leave him? In the cold.
I'll get a wrap.
Nervous, my dear?
This is risky business.
Not as risky as those
curious operations of yours...
that so intrigued
the European police.
Yet much more
profitable.
Restore the monster for me, and
you shall have anything you wish.
In that case, we better start
as soon as possible.
It's dangerous to leave him
in this weakened condition.
Have you mastered
Dr. Frankenstein's notebook?
Let me get my hand on a
scalpel again and you shall see.
And about the brain!
I don't want to repeat
Frankenstein's mistake...
and revive a vicious,
unmanageable brute.
This time the monster must
have no will of his own.
No fiendish intellect
to oppose his master.
There, dear Count, I believe I
have exceeded your fondest wishes.
The new brain I've chosen
for the monster is so simple,
so pliable, it will obey
you like a trained dog.
Good.
How soon?
The day after tomorrow. Wilbur
was taking me to a masquerade ball.
But I'm sure he'd prefer to
spend a quiet evening at home.
Bring him
through here.
I tell you, Chick, I saw
what I saw when I saw it!
Keep quiet! You babbling
about dead people walking away!
That's why we were arrested
and thrown in jail.
Do you realize we've spent a
whole day and night in jail?
And we'd still be there if
some dame hadn't bailed us out.
Chick, stop calling Sandra
a dame!
I'm tellin' ya,
they were there.
Oh, stop.
Two of'em.
One of'em
was about eight foot tall.
Way up there!
And he walked like this.
Just like that.
Now, that's the way he walked. Stop it.
You don't believe that? Certainly not!
Well, I saw it.
And the other one,
he went like this.
And he kept gettin'
closer and closer.
He had eyes
that were balls of fire.
He kept staring,
eye to eye.
Eye to eye!
Staring!
I never saw anything like it
in my life.
Believe me when I tell you
I was scared to death.
Really I was.
I was really scared, Chick.
What's the matter...
Chick?
Oh!
What did I do?
Hey, Chick, I don't like you like that.
Come on, be just like you used to be.
Ah, go away! Atta boy! I'm happy.
That's just like you used
to be. Stop this nonsense!
You're Wilbur Gray?
Yes, sir.
Then you must be Chick Young. So what?
I'm Lawrence Talbot. I've been
looking all over town for you.
You didn't have to look far.
We were in jail. Yes, I know.
I'm the one who telephoned you
not to deliver those bodies.
I knew they were alive! Oh! Oh!
So you thought I was imagining things when
I told you about the fellow eight feet tall...
walking with the stiff legs, and
the other fellow with this here.
Wait! You're crazy,
and so is this screwball!
Look, I have my own troubles.
Worse than you think.
I followed Dracula
all the way from Europe...
because I believe he's going to try
and revive the Frankenstein monster.
We must find him and destroy him
before he can do this! Wait a minute.
Go down to the police, tell them you know
the story about Dracula and the monster.
They'd be very interested. I can't do that.
Because then I'd have
to tell them who I am...
and why I know
what I know.
Soon...
Soon the moon will rise.
I haven't time
to explain.
I've taken the room across the
hall. Here's the key. Lock me in!
Lock you in? Yes, please. Hurry!
It's silly,
but I'll do it.
He's scared too.
Remember, no matter what
you hear or what happens,
don't let me out!
"Lock me in. " That guy
is screwier than you are.
He is not.
He's a nice man.
He's worried about the police getting
him because he knows they're alive.
I'm going to bed.
Well...
Hey,
he forgot his bag.
Mr. Talbot,
you forgot your grip.
Mr. Talbot?
Mr. Talbot?
Now, how'd he
get out of here?
Hmph.
I'll leave him a note.
I left your bag...
in the bedroom.
Wilbur.
I wonder if
he counted these.
He might've.
Aah!
Maybe he didn't.
A fine insurance company
I'm doing business with!
Outsmarted by
a couple of morons!
Those two crooks
got out of jail on bail!
We know, Mr. McDougal,
but you see we...
In fact, I arranged it. Who are you?
This is Miss Raymond, an
investigator from the home office.
It's my job to find
those missing exhibits.
I'm sure I can persuade the chubby
fellow to lead me right to them.
Naturally I couldn't persuade
him very well in jail.
Wilbur, please! I've had
nightmares all night long!
I don't want to hear any more about dead
bodies. I saw what I saw when I saw it.
All right.
Am I glad to see you.
Will you talk to that guy?
Sandra! Darling, I heard what happened.
That's awful. They can't put
my little Wilbur in jail.
They can't, but they did.
Thank you for bailing us out.
I? I only learned
about it this morning.
Didn't the policeman tell you
a lady bailed us out? He did.
Wilbur, you haven't been
untrue to your Sandra?
Sandra, how can you look
me in the face and say that?
How can you look him in
the face period? Hmph.
I came by to remind you about
the masquerade ball tonight.
I was getting ready
to pick up my costume.
Come by for me early,
dearest. About sunset.
Alone.
Good-bye.
What I'd like to know is, what
has he got that I haven't got?
A brain.
Ahh.
A brain.
I'd like to know
where it is.
Oh. She forgot
to kiss me good-bye.
Mmm! Oh, oh.
Now who is this? She's...
She's... She's beautiful.
I'm Joan Raymond.
She's Joan Raymond.
I'm the girl who arranged
your release from jail.
Why should you want
to spring us?
Do you believe in love
at first sight?
Well! As long as you
put it that way, I, uh...
That's what happened
to me.
Wilbur, darling!
Miss Raymond, when did this
mad feeling first come over you?
The instant I saw you in the baggage
room. I knew then that I wanted to spend...
every minute that
I'm in town with you.
You did?
What are we doing tonight?
He's going to a masquerade ball.
But, uh,
I'm not doing anything.
- In that case, you'll be lonesome.
- Well, naturally...
Darling, I haven't been to a masquerade
ball in ages. I was hoping you'd ask me.
Wilbur!
Come here.
Miss Raymond,
will you excuse me?
Oh,
you irresistible boy!
Do you want me? Yes, I
want you. Come over here.
I just wanted to get a good
look at you in the light.
I still don't get it.
Jealous?
Wilbur, I'll have to go out
and get a costume.
That's funny.
I was just going too.
I'll go to my room, pick up a couple
things and meet you in the lobby.
All right.
In the lobby.
I'll get my hat and coat. I'll
be right with you. Excuse me.
Now you've got two dates. What
about Sandra, you bigamist?
Sandra? I don't know.
Joan is awful cute.
All right, you takeJoan, I'll
take Sandra. Oh, Sandra sends me.
Then I'll takeJoan.
Joan sends me too.
Listen, you sawed-off Romeo,
in a minute, I'll send you!
You don't even appeal
to me.
Look, Wilbur, we've always
been pals, haven't we? Yes.
We've always shared and shared
alike, haven't we? Mm-hmm.
Let's be reasonable.
Come on.
I've always shared with you. That you have!
If I had two cigarettes, I'd
give you one. That's right.
If I had two pair of shoes, I'd
give you a pair. Don't I know that?
And if I have two girls... Well?
Why don't you light that cigarette, put on
those shoes and take a walk for yourself?
That's what I'm going to do,
but with you.
This key don't fit.
This is Tal...
Talbot's key.
Hey, we forgot about him.
Boy, what a bender
he must've been on last night!
Hey, Mr. Talbot.
Mr. Talbot!
And I thought you were such
a nice man. Look at yourself.
You're a mess.!
Last night...
I went through another
of my horrible experiences.
Years ago I was bitten
by a werewolf.
Ever since,
when the full moon rises...
I turn into a wolf
myself.
Oh, pal,
that's all right.
I'm sort of a wolf myself.
And here I thought...
I thought that you were the
only one that would believe me,
that you were the one that
knew I spoke the truth.
You have seen...
the living dead.
Mm-hmm.
I came all the way
from Europe...
because Dracula and the
monster must be destroyed.
Together
we must find them!
Let's not start that
all over again.
I can't go. I've got a date.
In fact, I've got two dates.
But you and I... have a date with destiny.
Let Chick go
with destiny.
Won't you please?
Huh?
You kids stay here.
I'm going up and get Sandra.
She's mine too.
Pardon me just a minute.
Wilbur!
Look, you've got Joan and
Sandra. You've got two girls!
How about the two girls we had last
week? Let's not talk about that.
You got no kick comin'. You had
the best lookin' one. So what?
Yours had teeth.
Yours had teeth too.
Did you see that tooth?
I happened to see it.
Mine had so much bridgework, every
time I kissed her I had to pay toll.
What's the use?
Wilbur, can't we both
go along too?
Yes, mon amour. That's
Spanish. That's French.
How do you like that? I speak
French too. You cute devil!
Stop that.
Come on, lead the way. Come on.
Hello.
Hello.
Is Sandra in?
Who?
Sandra.
You mean Dr. Mornay?
If that's what she is, I'm
just what the doctor ordered.
Come in.
Thank you.
I thought Sandra
was your date.
Or did we both come along
for the ride? No, no.
Perhaps I should introduce
myself. I'm Professor Stevens.
This is Miss Raymond, Wilbur
Gray, and I'm Chick Young.
How do you do, Miss Raymond? How do you do?
I have work to finish, but it
shouldn't take more than a few minutes.
Wait in the library. I'll be right
down. We're here to pick up Sandra.
Of course. I'm sure
she's around somewhere.
Wilbur!
Sandra, hello.
That girl, who is she? Um, mmm...
Uh, she's Chick's date. She's
going to the masquerade with us.
I told you to come here alone.
We'll have to get rid of them.
I'll have to get rid
of somebody.
Hello, Sandra.
Hello, Chick.
Joan, this is Sandra.
Sandra, Joan.
Nice place you have here, Doctor.
Who told you I was a doctor?
Why, the young man
who answered the door.
Oh, Professor Stevens.
I'm on a vacation, you see,
and traveling incognito.
What are you doing here? Same thing.
Shall we get going? As
soon as I put on my costume.
Would you like to powder
your nose? I'd love to.
I'll be right back,
Wilbur.
I'll be right back, too,
Wilbur.
Toodle-oo!
Oh.
Chick, there's a time in everyone's
life... when they get in trouble.
I'm in a mess of it now. What's wrong?
I've got two girls.
You know the old saying?
"Everything comes in threes. " Suppose a
third girl should fall in love with you?
What's her name? We'll
say her name is Mary.
Is she pretty?
Beautiful.
She'd have to be. Now you
have Mary, Joan and Sandra.
To prove to you that I'm
your pal, your bosom friend,
I'll take one of the girls
off your hands.
Chick, you're what I call
a real pal. It's all right.
You take Mary.
We better answer that phone.
They're all upstairs. Hello.
Hello?
Is Dr. Lejos there?
Just a minute. Somebody wants to know
about a Dr. Lejos. I don't know him.
Hello? Who is this speaking?
This is Wilbur Gray.
I thought I recognized
your voice.
This is Talbot speaking.
Listen. I just got a line
on Dracula and the monster.
Dr. Lejos has been receiving
a lot of electrical equipment,
just the type necessary
to revive the monster.
So what?
I'm way out on an island.
I've got my own problems.
But listen.
I believe you're in
the house of Dracula right now.
You can find the monster,
and I'll...
Hello?
Wilbur!
Come here! Chick, you don't
know what you're doin'!
What's the matter with
you? Shh, quiet. Come here.
- You didn't hang up the phone.
- Let him hang up the phone.
Who? Dracula and the monster live here.
Don't start that again.
Who told you that?
Talbot. He also said we've got
to search the place. Come here.
Come over here.
Listen, Talbot, enough is
enough. Wilbur's scared...
Hello? Hello? He's gone. So am I.
No, you don't. I'm gonna settle this thing
once and for all. We'll search this place.
It's past sunset; and if Dracula
is here, he's gonna want breakfast.
And I'm fatter than you, and it
ain't gonna be me! Just a minute.
It ain't gonna be me! I'm gonna prove
how crazy both you and Talbot are.
We'll search this place,
right from the basement.
Chick, we'll search it, you and
I together. Now we're talkin'.
Atta boy. You search the basement,
I'll search outside. No, you don't!
All right, I'll search outside. and you
search the basement. That's different.
Mm-hmm-hmm. It
worked! Ha-ha! Come on!
Let's look around here.
There's some doors
down there.
You think we oughta tell Sandra
where we're goin'? Certainly not.
You look over there.
Well?
Broom closet.
Broom closet? Look out. Mm-hmm.
Come on.
Broom closet?
Come on!
Wait for me.
Whoa!
Chick! Open!
Whoa!
Ooh! Chick!
Ahh! Chick!
Ah, Chick!
Aw, stop! It's the truth. Come here.
All I did
was like this.
I tell you, right over
there. Where are they?
They're in there.
Listen.
Wait. I'm gonna
look around.
You go ahead. If I don't find
anybody, I'm gonna beat your ears off.
Honest.
They're over there.
Oh, no. I ain't goin'
near that place anymore.
Whoa! Ooh!
Open sesame!
Open sesame!
Well, where are they?
They must be in there.
Stop. I'm getting sick and tired
of this silly nonsense of yours.
Some guy going around...
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
Another guy goin'... Uh! No, no!
The one guy goes...
And the other guy,
not like that, like this.
All right.
Put your hands down.
Come on, the girls
are waiting for us upstairs.
Have you known Wilbur long?
Yes, we're old friends.
Will you be long?
Just a few minutes.
Miss Raymond?
Yes?
I'm ready.
Shall we go?
Of course.
Here's your purse, dear.
Thank you.
Who screamed?
You did! I did? Ha-ha.
Listen, Wilbur, if you don't
stop imagining these crazy things,
I'll take you to a doctor
to have you examined.
But I saw them. And when
I see what I see, I saw it.
Mr. Talbot, he saw it too. Talbot!
He's crazy. You're both crazy!
Sandra.
Sandra, I've gotta tell you. I
was downstairs in the basement.
Basement? What were you doing
down there? I opened the door.
He opened the door and fell
down the stairs. Fibber.
How careless.!
You should be careful.!
A person can get killed! I
hope you weren't disturbed.
It's perfectly all right.
Introduce me.
This is Miss Raymond.
Mr. Young.
And this is Wilbur.
Ahh, Wilbur!
Why!
I've heard so much about you, I
feel as if we have already met.
I must say, my dear, I approve
very highly of your choice.
What we need today
is young blood.
And brains!
Oh, don't be bashful.
Come.
Hello, Dr. Lejos. I've been
looking for you all day.
Every time I ask Dr. Mornay what that
equipment is going to be used for,
she says to ask you.
Of course.
Didn't I hear that you
were going to masquerade ball?
Yes, we have our costumes in
the boat. Oh, you young people!
Making the most of life...
while it lasts.
Thank you.
Professor,
you worked hard and well.
Why don't you join them, and save
your questions until tomorrow?
Under ordinary circumstances I'd
say no, but... if you don't mind?
Not at all. Good. I'll get my coat.
Of course that would make
too many for one boat.
But if the professor and this
lady and gentleman go on ahead,
Wilbur and Dr. Mornay
can... I'm afraid I can't.
What's the matter? I've suddenly
developed a splitting headache.
I'm sorry, Wilbur, but
you'll have to go without me.
Nonsense! It will pass
as quickly as it came.
It's no use, Doctor. I shall
have to go directly to bed.
Pardon me. Well, Chick,
there goes your date.
What was that all about?
This is too dangerous. The girl
is an insurance investigator.
Stevens is asking
too many questions.
Wilbur was up to something in
the basement. We ought to wait.
And jeopardize the success
of the operation? Never!
I must warn you, my dear Sandra, I am
accustomed to having my orders obeyed,
especially by women
with a price on their heads.
Don't try to scare me,
Count Dracula.
Here. The Secrets of Life
and Death by Dr. Frankenstein.
Memorize them. Operate yourself,
if you're in such a hurry.
I have other ways
of securing your cooperation.
You're wasting your time. My
will is as strong as yours.
Are you sure?
Look into my eyes.
Look!
Deeper.
Tell me what you see.
Joan, Chick and I are gonna go into the
lockers and change into our costumes.
Come on, Professor. We'll
meet you on the dance floor.
Okay.
What did I do?
What do you mean?
He's dancing with my girl! So what?
I'll show her!
I'm in love
Aw, come on. Pick up those
bundles! Let's get dressed.
So, it's you!
He knows me!
McDougal! Listen, fat
boy, where are my exhibits?
Leave him alone! Not until he
tells me where those exhibits are.
Where are they?
Where are they?
Aha! McDougal,
now we've got it on you.
You put us in jail. Now we'll have
you arrested for assault and battery.
See what good it'll do ya.
You haven't got a witness.
I'm a witness! My word's as good as yours!
Your word is better than
his. Keep outta this.
I'll get a witness.
Do me a favor.
Will you watch this?
I need a witness.
Go ahead. I'd like to see you do it again.
Did you see it?
I'm sorry.
I couldn't see a thing.
Thank you.
Have you seen Chick Young
or Wilbur Gray?
Seen them?
I don't even know them.
I've got to know
what they found on that island.
Chick! Wilbur! What did
you find? Was I right?
No! And I wish you'd stop trying to
put those ideas in this boy's head.
He's not used to them.
Go put your things on.
Did you meet Dr. Lejos? Yes.
What did he look like? Tall,
aristocratic, a faraway look in his eye?
All I know is he told us to go out
and have some fun. Why don't you?
Can't I convince you that Dracula
is a very dangerous person?
You and Wilbur are just trying
to scare me. Well, it won't work!
I scared ya.
I scared ya, you big
sissy. This is your mask.
No, no, no. Please don't
wear that. What's the matter?
I know you'll think
I'm crazy, but...
in a half an hour the moon will
rise and I'll turn into a wolf.
You and 20 million other guys. Listen!
I might tear you limb
from limb! Is that serious?
He'll murder ya.!
That's serious.
It won't be if you'll just
take me and lock me in my room.
Please.
Oh, all right.
Why don't you hire yourself
a keeper?
Come on.
Hey!
Look.
Oh, Sandra's coming.
Is it all clear?
I will take care of the girl.
And you'll take Wilbur back
to the castle.
Understand?
Yes, master.
Sandra, you look...
So... we meet again,
Count Dracula.
Dracula? Yes. That's who he says you are.
Oh, my costume perhaps. No, Talbot
thinks you're the real thing.
Out of McDougal's
House of Horrors.
What an odd
hallucination.
But the human mind is often
inflamed with strange complexes.
I suggest you consult
your physician, Mr. Talbot.
And take him along with you,
please.
So there you are!
I'm glad to see
you've recovered.
I didn't expect to see you here,
Doctor. Sandra insisted I come.
I need a little relaxation. Miss
Raymond, would you honor me with a dance?
No. No!
I warn you.
He is Count Dracula!
How interesting.
Tell me more.
Let me tell you...
while we dance.
Pardon me, Mr. Talbot.
Sandra, do you feel
all right?
Of course. But I must
obey my doctor's orders.
Oh, sure! You gotta do
what the doctor tells ya.
I intend to.
Let's have a walk, Wilbur.
Toodle-oo.
Professor,
do you understand women?
I don't even try.
I'm gonna get me a drink.
Sit here.
Sandra, there's something strange
about ya. You're not yourself.
Is there anything I can do to help? Yes.
I want you to go away
with me to the island.
Just me and you?
Yes.
I want to be the only one in your
life. I want to be part of you.
I want to be in your blood.
I think I know
what you mean.
Wouldn't you want a prettier fellow
than me? No. I want no one but you.
You are so full-blooded,
so round, so firm.
So fully packed. And I
want to stay that way.
Aah!
Stuck myself.
I'm bleedin'.
Let me see it.
Uh-uh. There ain't enough for the two
of us... if that's what you're thinking.
I'll tell you what I'm
thinking. Look into my eyes.
I'm afraid to. There's
nothing to be afraid of.
Look. Deeper.
Deeper!
Deeper.
I looked deep enough.
I don't wanna look anymore.
Of course you do.
Don't you know what's going
to happen now? I'll bite.
Oh, no... I will!
Wilbur.! Wilbur.!
Joan.!
Joan? There he is.
Wilbur, have you seen Joan?
No, but I have definitely
made up my mind.
You can have Sandra, but make
sure you've got plenty of bandages.
Maybe Dracula lured Joan
into the woods.
Chick, do you know what could happen
if I meet Dracula in the woods?
I'll bite. Oh, no. You gotta stand in line.
Let's not waste any time. Yeah, let's.
Joan? Joan?
Joan!
Chick, we can't find her.
Let's keep on looking. Come on. Joan!
Joan?
Aw, Chick, we're
never gonna find her.
Joan!
Joan?
Joan?
Joan?
Joan.!
Joan.!
Chick? Chick?
Where did he go?
Chick!
I'm gettin' tired
of lookin' forJoan.
Look at him.
Didn't Mr. Talbot tell you
not to put that mask on?
What'd you
put it on for?
Take the mask off!
Come on!
Joan?
Chick, what are you lookin' in there
for? You're not gonna find Joan in there.
Now, come on, get up! Get
up! We gotta find Joan.
Come on, Chick.
Now, take that mask off!
Take it easy.
I'm your friend!
Help.! Help.!
Help.!
The man's been hurt. Looks
like something attacked him.
Get a doctor.
You'll be all right, though another half
inch would have severed your jugular vein.
Get him up.
Who did it? It was
somebody in a wolf's mask.
McDougal,
what happened to you?
You! It was you! He said
he was gonna get me. Me?
That's right. I saw him arguing
with you earlier this evening.
That's ridiculous.
I wouldn't...
People, real live people.
That's a boy. Tell 'em.
Chick, what's the idea of
trying to take a bite out of me?
What's the idea? What, did
he take a bite out of you too?
What's the matter? You gone mad? Wilbur!
Don't let that little fellow
fool you. He's an accomplice.
Me?
Let's call the sheriff.
Chick! Chick!
Oh, Chick!
Chick!
Joan, Joan, come on.
We gotta get outta here.
Joan?
Joan? Don't tell me
you've gone bats too.
Wilbur.! Wilbur.!
Wilbur.!
Chick! Chick!
Chick, Chick.
Quiet. They're after
me. After you? What for?
McDougal was almost killed
last night by either a wolf...
or a man wearing a mask
of a wolf!
It was a wolf.
I'm going to give myself up.
It's the only way to clear you.
Then... you were on the level
about that wolf business?
Yes. I'm going to
surrender. You can't do that!
Dracula's taken Wilbur and Joan
to the island. Are you sure?
I saw what I saw
when I saw it!
Hurry! Follow me!
They may come back.
But Dracula?
Dracula is helpless until after
nightfall. Maybe by then we'll...
Okay. But after what I saw
there'd better not be any maybe.
Sandra. Sandra?
Sandra.!
Junior?
Junior.
Will you help me
get outta here?
Sandra!
Junior.
Shall we begin?
I've been waiting, master.
Sandra? Sandra?
He's growing weaker! Will
he respond to the operation?
If the generators are kept
going. We must start immediately.
I'll get rid of Stevens,
and you'll take care of him.
Sandra, what are you
gonna do?
Don't worry. I'm not going
to hurt you. Thank you.
Soon, instead of being
short and chubby,
you'll be big and tall
and as strong as an ox.
And furthermore, you'll live
forever and never grow old.
Oh, Sandra,
you still love me.
But, Sandra, how are you gonna do all
these things? By a simple operation.
I shall remove your brain
and put it in his body.
You're gonna take my brain and
put it in Junior's body? Yes.
Ha-ha! For a minute, I didn't
know how you were gonna do it!
Agh!
Good evening, Professor.
Is everything under control?
Everything but my temper.
I found Miss Raymond
in Dr. Mornay's room.
You should mind
your own business, Professor.
I also found this, which
is very much my business.
And after I've taken Joan
back to town, I'm...
Hmm. Excellent.
Let's take him to the cellar. We can
dispose of all the bodies at the same time.
Well, there's the boat.
Let's look around.
Hey, that must be
the entrance to the castle.
Come on.
Come.
Lie down... here.
Yes... master.
Frankie, don't let 'em
do it to ya.
Frankie boy.
Listen to me, Frankie.
Don't let 'em
do it to ya!
Frankie. Frankie! I'm
tellin' ya, it's a bad deal.
I've had this brain for 30 years
and it hasn't worked right yet.
Ask me how much one and one
is, Frankie. Go ahead, ask me.
I don't know.
We'll be right back, Wilbur.
Okay, I'll wait.
Chick! Dracula is Dracula! Wilbur!
Sandra's gonna use my brain to make
a bigger dummy out of the other dummy.
I'll get you out of this.
No kiddin'! Hurry up.
All right.
Atta boy.
Does it hurt? No, no. Go
ahead, a little harder.
What's the matter? All right,
I'm doing the best I can!
Wait a minute.
Oh, pardon me, I'm sorry.
There you are. Now, get
outta here. Go ahead.
Hey, not that way.
To the left!
Get him out.
Get him out!
No door. No door? Come on, get outta here!
Take it easy,
you'll be all right.
We gotta get back to the
castle. Joan's in there. Come on.
Come on, Wilbur. Not me.
I'm not goin' back in there.
I've got too much
of what they want: brains.
Get the motor started in
the boat. Hurry up. Okay.
They've escaped!
You attend to the monster. I
can handle our fat friend. Come.
Wilbur.
Come back.
Come.
I said... come back!
Come!
Wilbur! We're all set.
You got the boat...
Wilbur!
He's not here!
Now where'd he go?
Look!
They started the operation.
They must've found him.
We've gotta go back.
You stay here with Joan.
Please...
give me a little ether.
We don't need it.
You won't feel a thing.
Oh, boy,
am I glad to see you!
Get me off here.
What are you lookin'out the window
for? Somebody else comin'after me?
Hmm?
Hey!
Chick, help! Please!
Chick.!
Chick! Chick!
Oh, Chick!
Aah, Chick.!
Chick!
Aah!
Back.
Back!
Chick!
Come on!
Chick, do you believe me now? Yes.
Hurry up.
Let's barricade the door.
Get it over there.
Okay, come on.
There.
Put your shoulder to
the door. Hold it tight.
We barricaded it.
He can't get in here!
Come on, Wilbur!
Come on!
Help!
Back.
Back.
Back.
Yes... master.
He thinks I'm Dracula.
Whew!
Well, we got him!
Joan! Joan!
Are you all right?
Mm-hmm.
I gotcha. You're just the one we're
lookin' for. Still want your exhibits?
Of course I do. Here comes one of'em now!
Aah!
Chick!
Come on, Wilbur!
Fill that bucket
with gas.
Untie the boat.
Untie the boat!
Untie the boat,
will ya?
Untie the boat,
will ya please?
Okay!
He won't chase us anymore.
And another thing.
The next time I tell you that
I saw something when I saw it,
you believe me that I saw it! Oh, relax.
Now that we've seen the last of
Dracula, the Wolfman and the Monster,
there's nobody
to frighten us anymore.
That's too bad. I was hoping
to get in on the excitement.
Who said that? Allow me to introduce
myself. I'm the Invisible Man.