After the Reality (2016) Movie Script

- Dad?
- Dad!
All right, you're all
mic'd up there and ready to go.
I can't believe I'm getting
your voicemail again.
This is it, Scottie. Dad only
has a few weeks left.
When are you flying in?
Just call me back.
All right cliff, magic time!
If I was smart, I'd fire him.
- Hey Joe.
- Good luck!
Can we get last looks?
Good to see
you again. Quiet please!
All right,
let's, uh, talk about Kelly.
You saw her
tape, right? She saw yours.
I gotta be honest, you know,
I can already sense this chemistry
between the two of you. Do you?
Uh well, sh-she's beautiful.
What, what else is there to say?
I mean she's, she's an
all-American girl.
Oh come on, Scottie, give me more.
What did you think?
Did you think she was marriage material?
Princess material?
- Oh, uh, y-you want me to sell it?
Scottie, I just want you.
There's no doubt about it.
Kelly is that girl next door,
who gives you that kind of look that makes
you want to come down from your horse.
Kelly's my dream girl,
but she's more than a dream.
It's really kind of exciting
when you see her.
She's like one of the
guys, you know?
This season of young bucks
comes to an end Monday night.
She is a knockout!
Even darkness is not dark to
She's blonde. I'm blond.
I've always kind of liked those
brother sister couples a little bit.
This weekend, relive the
magic of the last six weeks
with your favorite young buck
I'm a hugger. A really
big hugger.
She's an all-American hugger
fairy Princess.
Will this hugger fairy
Princess find her true love?
Or, will her heart be broken?
I know my heart. It's so
I feel like a little girl trapped
in some Grimm fairytale.
This is awful.
It's all Monday night on the
shocking finale of young bucks!
Mount up, America!
- 'Scuse me, y'all got ESPN or something?
- Sure.
Anything for a young buck.
We don't get too many of those
around here.
God dammit, foster!
You stir shit up
wherever you go, Mr. reality?
So how long ago did you finish shooting
that show? You look different.
Uh, a few weeks ago, I guess.
No way! Shit, so did you get
the girl?
What'd you call her? The
all-American hugger fairy Princess?
- I never actually said that.
- You said it tonight.
You said it. I heard you.
You heard me say it tonight,
but I never actually said it.
Yeah you did.
The producers do this thing where
they "Frankenbite" dialogue.
They edit together two totally different
conversations to make their own dialogue.
It's, I don't know.
If the camera's not on me when I'm
talking, you can bet the dialogue...
Has been Frankensteined.
You got it.
Reality can be such a bitch.
You know what the
magazines say about you?
They say that you're just
a waiter.
Is this true, or you
keepin' something from America?
Are you like secretly a prince
undercover, or you just got some demons?
I mean what would honestly possess
you to be on a show like that?
It's so degrading!
- It's like the lowest common
denominator of humanity. Okay!
I mean most people think that
reality stars are douchebags.
Oh yeah! Fuck me, oh you, you
young fucking buck. Scottie!
Scottie. You know what to do.
Hey Scottie, it's me again.
Um, I thought you were coming
this morning with the truck.
You said you were coming.
Fitz is here. I'm here. We've
got that meeting on Monday.
Fuck. Just call me back.
Ah, shit!
Well, timing is everything, huh?
I was gonna surprise you
with this later.
- They do this in Hawaii.
- We're not in Hawaii.
I know. I found all this stuff: Candles,
Bambi over there, in your dad's shed.
- So, got a wee bit distracted today.
- Kate:
Kate, the yardwork will get
done. I promise.
I know, but you just said you
were gonna do it today.
- We have so much to do.
- It's gonna get done, okay?
Don't worry. It's not like the
sale's gonna fall through.
Kate! What's wrong? He didn't
No. God, I just want to throttle the
little shit and that slippery smile.
Katie, come on. I told you, don't worry.
I can always get us another truck.
Calm down.
I'm not gonna calm down! Jesus
Fitz, just let me be pissed at him!
Okay. Well, you can throw your
piss around all you want,
but he's never gonna be who you
want him to be.
I just need him to show up.
- Throw my piss around?
- Yeah, don't do that. It's gross.
I don't know.
- Such a weirdo.
- Well, picture it!
I know this is all a little much,
but just entertain me, okay?
Speak to the universe;
The milky way.
It'll make you feel better, and I'll
clean it all up in the morning.
- Do it for Bambi!
- Okay?
Um, I've got a cabin full of
Randy Olson's stuff,
and a brother who's a smiling
shithead, and
guess I'm just looking
for some help.
Good luck.
I grew up close to the woods, so
my dad would take me hunting,
but whatever, you know, I
killed, I had to eat it.
First thing I ate was a
It was pretty gross, but kinda
tastes like chicken.
That's what you say when you're
shooting Clay pigeons,
not bales of hay!
Pretty good, pretty good.
- That...
- that was terrible!
Where were you aiming?
For your heart.
Oh, very sweet.
But, you still missed.
Well, you know there's something
really special about Scottie.
There's definitely something going
on in those blue eyes of his.
There's something spinning, or
troubling, or just plain sexy.
He's a good hugger. And I'm
hugger. A really big hugger.
Looking forward to hugging him
So, I know that you are a really
bad shot, but that's about it.
What else do you want to know?
You could tell me about your family.
You have a sister, right?
Yeah, yeah. I have an older sister.
She's a consultant for big companies.
Tells them how to do their jobs.
You've got to give me, like, a
little bit more.
It could be harmless. It could be
like your favorite childhood memory.
You wanna keep the buckle,
don't you?
There was this cabin on a lake.
It wasn't much of a place,
but, um,
but in the summer, my-my sister
and I would swim for hours.
We'd take these long, running
jumps off the dock.
Hundreds in a day.
I don't know.
Freed us from the grief of
living with Randy and Sandy.
- Randy and Sandy?
- My parents. I know.
Oh, and then my sister,
she names the dog Brandy.
That's hilarious.
Not really.
It's sad.
Are your parents still together?
No. My mom died when I was
in junior high,
but uh my dad took over, and
he wasn't really cut out to be
a single parent.
I think we just had it.
I think we just had
a real moment.
Keep this, and it'll remind you
of our real moment.
One, two, three, four,
I declare a thumb war.
Oh, you're going down.
- Come on Kelly!
- Ow.
- No, oh, oh, one, two, three,
pin! -
I came on this show because I
have lost at love.
I want to have my happy ending.
The Scottie ending could be the
happiest ending on earth.
I mean I know there's a lot of
other guys,
and I have to get to know them,
but Scottie could be the
one for me.
Look at me! I'm ridiculous!
She's not what I expected.
She was lovely.
You can't take it with you if
they take it outta you.
- They're his, huh?
- Yep.
So good to see you,
even if you're 15 hours late.
I got caught up with
post show stuff.
Just give me a hug
before I rip your head off!
Ou know, they say a baby boomer
dies every 39 seconds.
Did they all leave
so much shit behind?
I like the labeling thing.
Oh, shh, is your dude here?
- Fitz. Yeah, he's s-sleeping.
- Fitz.
I gave you the front room.
It's kind of a mess, but I
thought you should have it.
You didn't have to do that.
Oh no, I know. Um, come here.
I want to show you something.
Look, that ridiculous Christmas
when mom threw the yule logs
that dad brought us up here.
Wait, are you remembering this
God, you were this terrified
little kid.
I was not a terrified kid.
You were so scared that Santa was gonna
burn his bum coming down the chimney,
so dad went and buried little
gifts out in the snow.
You don't remember that?
Maybe. Didn't he, like, ruin a
few gifts in the process?
Yeah. God, he didn't really
know what he was doing.
Hey, come on.
It's in times like these,
we just gotta remember the best selling two
seat convertible in sports car history.
- The Miata!
- Mazda Miata!
I should never have cosigned that loan.
- You shouldn't of.
But how long was it until you, uh,
you, you found out I was lying?
Oh, uh, which lie was that? That
you weren't going to college,
or that you were using your tuition
money to fund your half of the Miata?
Why I see that as one lie. It's
like a combo lie.
Oh yeah, the old combo. Umm,
I guess like six months.
Mmmm. What a great six months
that was.
Dad was so proud of
his college kid.
Yeah, cuz you were finally, kind
of, a normal member of society.
Well, alright I gotta go to bed.
Here, have the rest of this.
Scottie, wait! I haven't seen
you since the funeral.
What happened?
Did you get the girl?
I, um, can't really watch you
on that I mean it's so weird.
I signed a contract.
Can't talk about it.
Since when do you give a shit
about a contract?
- Let's just talk about it in the morning.
- Oh my!
I can't believe you're
not gonna tell me.
I'm hoping to get out of here a
little earlier.
Don't we have that meeting
with the lawyer on Monday?
Scottie, what is up with that
Argh, th-the u-haul umm tailgate
just kind of mangled it.
Well, did you get it looked at?
I'll put some ice on it.
Um, okay.
I will. Yep.
Umm, thanks doctor.
Oh! Hey!
What are you doing?
Um, smoking.
Oh. Do you have to smoke?
I mean I can make you tea if
you want to relax.
You were gone a long time. I thought
you were just going out for boxes.
I wasn't gone that long.
- You forgot the boxes?
- Ehh.
Stop looking for tea. I don't
want any tea.
Do we have any Gatorade?
Since when do I have Gatorade?
Okay, would you please not
smoke? Pretty please?
Now look, I have something to
tell you. I have...
Uh, it's my team.
I asked them to wait quietly.
Sorry coach! Ball got away
from us.
Anyway, I've hired them to help
us out.
As you can see,
I am in superior shape.
I jog every now and then. I do like
100 push-ups a day. I cross fit.
I'm looking at guys with like
11, 12 percent body fat.
That's like a woman's body fat!
Let'er hang, and
soak up the sun!
I mean these guys are
great in the pool, man.
No, which is good, cuz things
are about to get heavy.
Like a rock.
We all get called in
from the pool,
and we never had our pool
time interrupted before.
We're all gathered
in the living room,
and the news is dropped by the producers,
and I'm like, Jesus man, this sucks!
I mean Scottie's dad is dead.
And Scottie doesn't
even know it yet.
So, I do what I do in these
It's dunkin daiquiri time!
All right guys, let's
have a toast.
To us young bucks!
Ahh that's pretty good,
you know?
Ooh, he's coming down the walk.
I mean, we were hanging out, and the next
thing you know, we hear these footsteps
and it was like damn, dunkin's daiquiris
aren't gonna be able to protect us now.
How are ya?
What's goin' on guys?
Aw, come on, you're
not giving up already. Are ya?
Because of my line of work, I took
the lead. This was gonna be tough.
Hey, I made some daiquiris!
- Have a daiquiri.
- No, I'm good, man. Thanks!
- They're really tasty.
- Yeah, just have a daiquiri.
What's going on?
Take the daiquiri.
I don't want the daiquiri man.
- Here.
- N't want the...
What the f...?
I'm just trying to be nice.
Sorry to say, but your father's
passed away.
If the guy hadn't just
lost his father,
I wouldn't have been so
I'm standing there in my best
linen threads,
dripping in daiquiri, and the
guy's losing it.
What a mess.
I guess he left quite
the impression on Kelly today.
That's the rumor.
His whole story makes
for quite the narrative now.
If he stays on the show, he
could really leverage it.
That said, the guy just lost
his father.
He's a mess. And he doesn't
even know it yet.
I'll remind him.
You-you're a sneaky dude. You are sneaky.
Got my eye on you!
Hey Rucke, you wanna
bring me another Phillips head?
And a wrench too!
Just, just right there.
Well, I don't know.
No, you're doing great.
I'm not being critical.
Here you go, coach! Great.
Thanks, bud! All right.
You know what though, I think we
are gonna need to get a drill.
Yep, these screws are rusted in
Don't worry. The guys will
get it down.
Hey look, are, are we cool?
I mean, I'm sorry to spring the
team on you like that.
No, it's um, it's just a lot.
I'll tell you what, you just focus
on what you need to do in there,
- and we've got everything
covered out here. Ow!
- Oh. With a
little coaching, I guess.
Hey, can we talk tonight? Like, no
point guards or intentions ceremonies?
Whatever you need!
Guys, you did good, but careful.
Really, Kate? Child labor?
Fitz brought them here to,
well, to fix the landscaping.
After the inspection, we
promised to do a bunch of stuff
- oh, uh pick up sticks?
- Yeah.
Hey Scott! Good to see ya!
Good to see you too, Fitz!
He's a hospital meditation
guru, right?
Don't give me shit right now.
He's a reflexologist.
- Hey, do you have another cigarette?
- Yep.
I, um, couldn't
find any. Your jacket pocket.
So, uh, where did the
little dribblers come from?
Ha, little dribblers!
They are actually the hibbing middle
school north woods grizzlies.
They were supposed to do a fundraising car
wash today, but as their assistant coach
I said, "how would you guys
like to make some real money?"
Oh. Smart thinking, coach.
Uh, good to see you again.
Yeah. Hey, whoa, whoa,
you all right?
- Ah yeah. Just a little ged up.
- All right. Well, it's good to see ya!
I didn't get a chance to see much of
your show, but I caught a few episodes,
and uh from what I saw, you came across as,
you know, someone with verisimilitude.
Thanks! That was my intention.
Well you know, sometimes
intention is all we have.
For instance these guys. Last year
their record was one and nine.
- They played their hearts out every game.
- - Wow, who was their coach?
- Good one. - My brother's kind of a jackass.
- No, it's good.
I gotta get back to the dock. Make
sure it doesn't fall into the lake.
Oh Kate, I uh, I have to head
into town.
I have to deal with some post
show stuff.
You just got here.
I know. I just gotta send some
stuff, so.
Well, I have a ton of stuff for
you to go through.
Okay, well looks like you got a
pretty deep bench.
I'll be back around eight or
nine. We'll throw out some shit.
- What else do you want to call it?
- Uhh.
Hit me on my cell if
you need anything.
Found your captain's log.
Thanks. I guess.
Scottie, what happened
on that show?
What are you talking about?
What, is this about me leaving?
You know what, forget it!
You know, I'm sick and tired of this
passive aggressive shit you're pulling.
- I made a choice to live my life!
- I never had a choice!
Oh, oh, so you're playing the
martyr now?
Oh, martyr? Is that what you call someone who
cared 'round the clock for our dying father?
- Oh don't even start.
- I put my life on hold. My career. Okay?
He's dead; And now I gotta deal
with your shit,
and Fitz's shit, and my own
dumb, fucked up shit.
- Just, just listen.
- Yeah, listening. Listening is a great place to start.
We're gonna go through all this
stuff, and not lose anything to shit.
It is shit! There's nothing here
that's gonna change who dad was,
or who you think he was!
End of story!
Get the fuck out.
Okay! Whoa! Scott! Scott!
You may want to hang around because
I think I found something.
Come on.
Good job guys.
- Huh? Oh my god.
- The kids found it buried in the sand.
Oh. It's dad's scarf! It's his
scarf from that Christmas.
Look, there's his initials.
Don't you remember?
What are you getting at?
It's weird. Dad was digging
down here these final months.
I thought it was just the
chemo brain,
- and the drinking.
- Kate, it's crap that floated to shore.
I don't know. It looks like a
sign to me.
It's a
scarf! From sears!
Scottie, it's dad's scarf! He
put it down here.
Oh, unbelievable! I-i mean,
are you and Indiana Fitz gonna
unearth this whole place now,
ing for more treasures from dad?
Maybe we are, what do you care?
Don't you have to go into town?
Scott, we don't know what we
don't know.
And you don't know what the
hell you're talking about.
I-I'm not gonna be a part of this junior
archeological dig. No offense guys.
Good job guys. Keep it up.
Let's get to China.
It was like the whole energy of the place
just changed after Scottie's news.
I mean, for Kelly's sake we just acted
like business as usual, you know?
She didn't know yet.
So Jerry comes out of the bathroom, and we
go, "Jerry you got on womens underpants!"
- And he says, "well everybody
got they breaking points!"
Kelly looks stunning.
Some sweet eye candy to give this place
a badly needed sugar high, right?
Hilarious. You are too funny.
It was like that commercial!
- Hi. You look beautiful.
- Thank you
so, what's up? I was told you
wanted to talk to me.
Yeah. Um, uh, my dad. He's
been, he's been sick for,
for some time now. And, uh I-i
just found out he passed away.
I'm so sorry.
It's, um, it's fine. I just,
I just gotta go home.
I gotta deal with the funeral
and all that stuff, so.
That's very brave of you.
Guys, shut off the cameras.
Shut off the cameras, dammit!
This man has just lost his father!
Turn them off! All of them!
Cut your mic.
You know, I've seen some
sad stuff in my life.
But this was like, man. Whoa.
I was like Titanic sad.
We were all just glued,
watching this scene play out.
Scottie using his tragedy to
position himself? No doubt.
Grief is a powerful thing.
Scottie! Wait a second.
Uh, I just wanted to
say goodbye to you.
Let yourself grieve about your
old man.
I'm sure if he was anything like
you, he must have been a solid man.
Thanks, man.
And, don't kick yourself about
not being there.
Some things we can't control.
Not like you were running away
from anything, right?
You take care. See you on the
There's nothing left to say.
I'm going home.
Stay tuned for more of your
favorite young buck episodes!
And don't forget, the shocking season finale
this Monday 10/9 central. Mount up, America!
Those gizmos can drive a
man to drink.
I like to keep it simple.
I don't wanna make a fuss,
but please know
I truly do send my condolences
to you and your family.
Well, you are the Olson boy, the one on
the TV on the looney toon program, yes?
You know, I knew your dad in
the early '70s.
We met at an underwriter's
Oh, pardon me! Elmer Severson,
state farm agent 43 years.
Scottie. Nice to meet you.
Your dad was quite the catch at
the '71 convention.
You see, my daughter was helpin'
out on the convention floor,
and boy did he use a
line on her.
My dad? He, he tried to pick up
your daughter?
He walks up and he says,
"miss, I fear you've just
accelerated my death benefit."
Yeah. Death benefit's
a life insurance term.
Guess you have to be in the industry.
- Ah, guess so.
I didn't know my dad was such a
Well, I suppose there's a lot
we never know.
So, your dad came to me three
sheets to the wind, all in tears.
Hey, that must have been
the '72 convention.
See, he was in love with my
daughter and,
well, she had three other convention
guys competing for her heart.
Oh, and he's begging me to do something.
He's hollering and carrying on and,
well, she ended up in the arms
of some fella from Iowa.
I didn't realize Randy retired
up here until I read the obit.
Would've looked him up.
You know, there's a loss of all that was and
then there's a loss of all that wasn't.
It's the wasn't that seems to
drive folks a little nutty.
Leaves them
kinda rudderless for awhile.
Hey, looks like all the other kids got
picked up. Is your mom not here yet?
No, my mom's always late.
- Well, um, hop in. I'll wait with you.
- Thanks.
- Well, um, hop in. I'll wait with you.
- Thanks.
I don't know what stations you guys like to
listen to around here, so whatever you want.
My mom's onto Christian rock right now.
It's the worst, but I don't say nothin'.
Oh uh, I don't, I don't listen
to that.
So, do you and the team like to do this
kind of work? I imagine it's kinda strange.
I guess. Beats washing cars,
and we really want our entire team to go to this
basketball camp put on by the Timberwolves.
You know, in the NBA?
Other teams in our division go,
but our entire team hasn't.
It'd really bring us to the
next level.
Oh. Wow, that sounds like a
great investment.
You want to see the packet?
It's two weeks away from home, and
you get to stay college dorm rooms!
See, they even bring in NBA
stars to offer pointers.
Some guys on our team haven't been
away from home for two weeks.
I haven't, but it sounds
so awesome.
Ugh, I never did well at camp.
I always got so homesick.
But this looks like way too
much fun.
Wait. You? Homesick?
Yeah, I was a kid once.
Oh. Well, yeah.
You probably don't know what a Walkman
is, but on my first trip to camp
my dad made this sweet little recording
on a cassette tape and sent it to me.
My counselors had told my
parents how homesick I was.
Anyway, he recorded this
sweet little goodnight,
and then the girls in
my cabin found it.
And, they made so much fun of me.
Calling me daddy's goodnight girl.
So humiliated.
I came home so mad, I
threw the Walkman at him.
It hit him in the face
and he chipped a tooth.
If I were in your cabin,
I wouldn't have made fun of you.
Well, not that it would have been
your cabin because I'm a boy, but...
Yeah, I know what
you mean, thank you.
You're very sensitive.
You're more sensitive than a
lot of people I know.
I don't know about
sensitive, but um.
You meet a lot of people?
Oh! Um,
sorry! I'm such a klutz!
Oh, there's
your mom! Is that your mom?
Here's your...
Oh yeah, um, thanks.
I'll see you tomorrow then.
You should know, you'll be a
very good looking mom.
- Um, thank you.
- Sure, bye. - Bye.
Od you're not a hand model, huh?
That's gonna leave a scar.
You should've had those
stitches out weeks ago!
Yeah, I know.
Think maybe I could get some
If this is a stunt because you think you
can get painkillers from a small town doc,
you've got another thing coming.
No, uh, i...
I'm just kiddin' ya.
Little bit of levity.
Yeah, I'm sorry to hear about
your dad.
I didn't know him personally,
but I knew of him.
Your sister, I do know!
She's, uh, got that sweet little
nervous Nellie thing, right?
- Yeah, I guess you could say
Yeah. The circle of life, huh?
You look like good uncle
- That must be a nice distraction.
- Uncle?
You're gonna have to clean
up your act, mister.
Stop giving your sister those
I'd tell you to lay off the cancer
sticks, but the celebs I've treated,
and I have treated a few, usually don't
listen to anybody until they're in rehab.
How much you drinkin' these
days, huh?
Every time I saw you on that show,
you had a drink in your hand.
Yeah, the last kid was just
picked up.
Oh, I was gonna, uh,
swing by the market.
The kids asked me to pick up a few
things for tomorrow for them.
Yeah, I know. I'm a pushover.
Anyway, um, I'll be home in
like an hour.
I thought maybe we could go
for that walk then?
Yeah, no, I-i just thought...
Yeah, we can talk in the
What do we have here?
In art class, snapped Angela's
bra and got detention.
Katie told dad, and dad's not
talkin' to me.
Katie and dad, suck it. Another day
in paradise. Phil Collins sucks.
My hockey career is over.
Girls don't get me. I tried to touch Casey
Stanley's boob, and she said I was a player.
October 30, 1990: Dad hit a moose with his
truck on his way home from the cabin.
He wasn't hurt, but he couldn't
remember anything.
I was scared.
With Scott gone, we all knew that it was
dunkin's belt buckle that we needed to loosen.
He just embodies a man,
right down to his Cologne.
He has a swagger.
Kinda reminds me of my daddy.
And a sweetness that reminds me
of my grandma Ruth.
Is that weird?
Even darkness is not dark to Kelly. The
night is bright as day when she's around.
Ahh, I hope she sees the light
I bring too. I think she does.
Of course I think about that
goodbye, and it's like...
I've come to believe that
everything happens for a reason.
You can mourn that hole in your
heart when someone leaves,
you can just fill it with a new
What else are you supposed to
To a beautiful woman.
Cheers, to a handsome man!
- Most of us guys, young bucks, are not known for our poetry.
- Oh?
- But, I wrote something.
- You did?
It's called perfection, far
from wasted. By me.
"And another regrettable thing
about love"
"is the ending of your walking
on your own two feet"
"which took an entire life
to ground."
"The whole act of love is intoxicating,
like too many six packs."
"Who will be this perfect
again? No one."
"For you alone are perfection,
far from wasted."
Wow. That's beautiful.
No one had ever written
such beautiful words for me.
I was melting.
All of the pain that I've felt
in love
seems to wash away
in moments like that.
I feel really blessed.
Ever since I was a little girl when I
went to bed, I would count my blessings,
and I would send my
blessings out to other people.
And even though I am out with
dunkin, and the other guys,
I'm sending my blessings
to Scottie.
I think he needs them.
He'll be the same as, as
he was. Time will heal him.
I look forward to seeing him
One day.
- Hey. Hey! Hmm?
- You awake? - No.
Can I ask you something?
It's a little early for 'can I ask you
something' questions. Don't you think?
Uh, we should probably leave
in like 20 to pick up the kids.
Kate. It's about Scottie,
right? Your question?
- You're doing fine with that.
- Thanks.
All right, well it's not exactly
machu Pichu, but we are moving dirt.
And guess what? Today we're gonna continue
searching. We're gonna continue looking.
We're gonna make this
place look nice, okay?
We're gonna split you up today
as well.
I know this all seems a tad ridiculous,
but you're a team. You're a family.
And when you're working together, then
it doesn't matter what you're doing.
You're building a bond.
So when the Chisholm pioneers
start full court pressing you
in the fourth quarter next year, you're
gonna be there for each other. Why?
Because you have a bond that cannot
be severed. It cannot be pierced.
All right guys, bring it in. Come on.
One, two, three, grizzlies!
Let's work! Come on! Yeah!
- Hey.
- Hey.
- They uh, they find anything else?
- Uh, not really.
He's kinda good with those
kids, huh?
Ah, he's got 'em digging
holes, looking for treasures.
He must be doin'
something right.
And if you can build a sandcastle,
just for moral support...
All right.
So where are you off to today?
Eh, I'm just gonna
hang around here today.
Stop it! What are you doing? I
still have to go through all that!
What, what you think you're really
gonna hold onto time, December 1975?
Well, there's a reason
why he saved it.
The ayatollah was the man of
the year.
Oh, dad was a big fan of the
Ayotollah? Come on!
Stop it, Scottie! People might want
this stuff. On ebay, it's worth money.
Is, is that why you're taking pictures
and, and sorting so thoroughly?
To sell it on ebay?
Look, if you want to help, I'll
show you the system.
How much you get for that?
Chickie! I thought you were
lost to the ages. Get over here.
Aw! Welcome home Chickie!
Capture this moment.
It smells.
- Oh man, I-I'm gonna keep this photo.
That cool? Yeah.
I don't have anything from
dad's single years.
Kinda wonder what he was like.
Look at this.
Who's that he's with? It
doesn't look like mom.
- Elmer Severson's daughter.
- What are you talking about?
I should probably keep these
I think someone pawned half of
These used to be in dad's office, you know?
I'm sure I'll find a use.
Maybe a couple of
those plaques for my office.
That's kind of cool.
Kate, what are you doing?
That's so much stuff!
Yeah, I know. I just, I like
the way they look, and I mean,
I think these were actually a wedding
present from grandma to mom and dad.
Pretty unique to the 70's.
I'm kind of thinking of having a fondue
party anyway, so might as well use these.
I just keep thinking
about the Nevers.
How he'll never walk me down
the aisle.
Never send me another one
sentence birthday card.
Never meet his grandkids.
That was gonna be his second
act, you know?
He'd of done it differently.
He'd have been a sweetheart.
Just stop. Y-you're driving
yourself crazy.
It's amazing how you're just
like him.
Standing there.
Just terrorized by someone
who just needs a hug.
Okay, I, um,
I-i-i gotta get this.
I just need to talk to you!
Can you just give me a chance?
I'm gonna go to bed.
Fitz isn't back yet, but
I'm exhausted.
So we've got that meeting in
the morning.
I'll be up.
Okay. Well, night.
Anita Severson.
"Dear sweet Anita, I miss you
like no one I've ever missed.
My heart is crushed, reduced to
driftwood on a lonely, deserted island.
Please reconsider. I love you,
please reconsider. I love you,
I've said it from the beginning,
I'm not here to make friends.
Loneliness is the true
cowboy's companion.
I'm myself around Kelly, and
that's all that matters.
At least I wasn't writing plagiarized
poetry like Walt dunkin Whitman!
The guy thinks that he stepped right
out of a romance novel or something.
You know what I mean?
Reg and Garreth started insinuating
that I wasn't being truthful.
Please. I mean, Kelly's
amazing, right?
And these guys
were just feeling like
time's winged chariot hurrying
Their days were numbered.
Dunkin says he's from Georgia.
I've never heard anybody from
Georgia sound like that,
"time's winged chariot hurrying
This is a once in a lifetime
opportunity to find that great love.
It's just working out
beyond my wildest dreams.
The last three guys are amazing.
Of course, I have my favorite, but
we'll just have to wait and see.
I mean there we are. Three
of us left.
The vultures were circling.
Started to feel a lil bit like
death valley, know what I mean?
I'm not saying that these two
suitors aren't fine gents.
I'm merely suggesting that a man with a horse
and stable can buy his little girl a pony.
- A dog and pony show.
- I mean, who is this guy?
You guys are, you're ridiculous.
I mean, I'm just looking to provide my
daughter with the stable of a loving family.
- Is that so, reg?
- Yeah!
Oh sh-t.
- That's Scottie.
- What? Oh my god!
My stomach was in my throat, and my
heart was pounding out of my chest.
Oh my god, he came back. Watch yourself.
Compose yourself. Compose yourself.
He's not in the show. What's
he doing here? It was crazy.
- How you been, man? You look good.
- Hanging in there, thanks.
Hey man, why don't you hop
in? The water's warm.
Kelly, can, uh, can we talk?
- Um, sure.
Just the dudes.
You guys wanna...
- no. I don't want anything with you.
- All right.
I've never lost somebody, and then
had them come wandering back to me.
That was kind of strange.
I've been thinking about you a
lot for the past few weeks.
I've been thinking about you a
lot too.
I was at the funeral just
staring at him.
This man I never really knew.
N-never showed any love to.
This man I would always
Oh, you can't do that to
I just kept thinking, what if I
just could've gone back in time?
Done it differently?
Shown him that I could do
it right?
So, I wanna do it right with
you. Give me back my buckle.
- Please.
- Scottie, don't do this.
You don't want to be here.
- You want to go get better.
- Look, forget about the damn show.
- Scottie!
- Let go of her!
This doesn't concern you, man.
- Yeah, it does, buck-o.
Do you wanna be with this guy?
I mean seriously, this is
what you're gonna choose?
Hey, will you guys just stop? All of you,
just stop please, and just let me be alone!
Why did you have to come here
and mess everything up?
What the hell are you thinking?
You're not even
supposed to be here.
This is awful.
My heart. I know my
heart. It's so confused.
I was just there in the heat of the moment
with Scottie and his beautiful eyes.
You know? Those eyes
are in my dreams.
I have to just focus on these
other three awesome guys, right?
I need to give them my love.
I feel like a, a little girl
trapped in some Grimm fairy tale.
I'm terrible at this.
Scottie? Scottie?
Scottie, we gotta go. Are you up?
- Shit.
Scottie, seriously we gotta go in
five minutes, okay? Coming, okay?
Scottie, seriously we gotta go in
five minutes, okay? Coming, okay?
"My dear sweet Kelly, I miss you like no
other. Please reconsider. I love you."
"My dear sweet Kelly, I miss you like no
other. Please reconsider. I love you."
Wait, are you leaving right
after the meeting?
Yeah, I thought maybe you could
drop me off from the car.
What? Fitz and the team can,
you know,
take the u-haul, and drop
everything off at the storage unit.
I'll come back in a couple
of weeks and pick up my stuff.
Yeah, great.
I'll pay for the team's time.
Of course.
Is everything okay?
Yeah, all good.
You know, I've, uh, called the
realtors and they've told me that
th-the new owners are very happy with the
way the escrow has gone so smoothly.
We've moved everything out of
the cabin, the personal items,
and just cleaned up the place
a bit.
Yeah, the new owners are really
gonna love the new paint job.
Brought in some Ace painters.
That's terrific. You guys really go
above and beyond. That's wonderful.
So, I just need your
signatures, uh, here and here.
All right.
So, you know, your
father and I, we go way back.
I was actually at your parent's
wedding if you can believe that.
You know, it speaks to his loyalty that
here we are, taking care of his estate.
So, there isn't much
more to go over.
Great. So, if that's it, we
should get going.
Well, actually, uh,
there is something else.
After all the back taxes and the fees
have been paid off on this cabin,
there is gonna be a sizeable
amount of money. $90,000.
Who knew in this market that
the cabin would do so well.
It states very clearly in your
father's will,
that if there is any money left
over from the sale of the cabin
that that money will be
distributed to Scottie
to pay down his debts and
to pay for his education.
Yes. It was your father's
No, I understand that intention.
Um, I'm just, I'm confused.
It is a special circumstance.
M sorry, I-is this some kind of
No, this is no joke. It's
in his will.
I would have told you sooner, but I
didn't wanna cause anymore grief,
and frankly, I mean, I didn't
think it was gonna be an issue.
I thought that we'd owe money.
You know? I mean,
we sold the cabin for
such a slick price.
Am I hearing this right? I nursed my dad
through chemo, through the very, very end.
I mean I, I left my job for months
without compensation, without question,
and now my brother is being rewarded
for being the absent jerkoff
who fucked around on a reality
television show?
Jesus Kate, come on!
Kate, I don't think that's
a fair characterization
of young bucks. I mean, that was a
fine show. It was Emmy nominated!
Your, your father was
very concerned about Scottie.
I mean that-that's not
saying anything against you.
I mean he had no idea that the
cabin would sell so well.
The living have absolutely no idea what
they're gonna be worth when they're gone.
So, failing out of school, and running up a
debt, and being a general fuckup is rewarded?
- Kate, just take it easy. Oh my god,
don't you dare tell me to take it easy.
I don't even know what crazy shit you're
mixed up in again with that hand of yours,
and bizarre text messages from that reality
chick saying she's gonna go to the police.
You know what, take the fucking
90k. Piss it away.
At least I live in a world where
I have to get real with people.
I mean, hah, that kid of yours is gonna be
real lucky to have such a nut job as a mother.
How dare you? Have you been
going through my shit?
You fucking bitch.
I'm done.
Go, get the fuck out!
- Congratulations on the baby.
- Oh fuck you, Bob!
She doesn't wanna see you.
I know.
If I let you on during tonight's buckle
ceremony, what are you gonna do?
Apologize. That's all.
That's all you wanna do?
- That's all I wanna do.
Well, that is
very thoughtful of you.
And it also makes for really
good TV.
Yeah. That's what
I'm here for.
Let's get you
another beer, or maybe a shot.
I'm sorry. Your buckle, please.
- Good luck.
- Thanks.
I-I came back for
you. I-i don't wanna lose you.
Leave, please. Scottie.
You've been told to go home. Go home.
- Kelly, don't.
D-don't, don't, don't do this.
- Please, just go. Please.
- Stop torturing this woman.
- Dunkin, please.
Just get the hell outta
here, man!
I'm just trying to talk to
Kelly all right, just...
Aw, come on guys!
Whoa, man!
Oh! Aw man, get off of him.
Come on!
- Come on!
- Get off me!
No! Argh!
I'm gonna sue your ass, man!
Mother f... r. Do
you even love her?
Love? Do you think I even know
Do you think any of these
guys do?
Jesus man, we know
she's good in the sack,
but that's about it. It's a
f-ing game.
It's not a f-ing game to me
mother f-er.
Dude, cool off.
All right, kids are gonna meet
us by the storage locker.
You okay?
You ever think that maybe he's
in a better place?
And this is the way it's
supposed to be?
You know, he's looking down on
you right now.
And yet, I'm just here,
watching the world go by.
You know, I've been trying to
talk to you for days.
I know.
I get it. You've changed.
I've changed.
You know, I didn't even want to
have this conversation right now.
- I wanted to deal with everything
first and then... - what conversation?
Oh please. I just wanted to unload the
truck, and then take care of the kids.
Then the two of us could go our
separate ways, and take a break.
- And have a child together.
- Come on.
Kate, sweetie, I-i am so sorry.
- You have to go now, okay? No, you can't
tell me that and then ask me to leave.
Fitz, you need to go, and you need to let
me say goodbye to this place without you.
Okay. I mean, if that is
your intention, then fine.
Please, just go.
This search for love and
connection, it's so maddening.
It needs one of those little decoders
you find at the bottom of cereal boxes.
I came on this show not
knowing what I would find.
I just knew that I was over
the pain of losing.
And I was over the pain
of a broken heart.
So many guys I've dated, I've had to
search for that language of love.
Is he in love with me?
Or, is he just in love with me because
he's supposed to be in love with me?
Am I supposed to be in
love with him?
The uncertainty of those
questions is just terrifying.
I just want it to be clear.
This is a dream come true!
Are you gonna put it on me?
I love you, and you love me.
But there, with dunkin
as the sun set,
I no longer had these
irritating worries.
It was a dream come
true. I was set free.
So madly in love. And
so was he.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Looks like you, uh, have
some extra storage space.
Underwater storage.
Uh, where, where are Fitz
and the Ballers?
I sent them home.
- Okay. Well, uh... - what are
you doing here, Scottie?
Didn't you have to go after
your reality girl?
- I came back, so you could hear this.
- What are you doing?
All right Katie, well your
mother and I are heading to bed.
Well, I am. Your mother's fallen asleep
reading some book about what's wrong with me.
The news here is that Scottie is grounded.
I guess that's not really new news.
He sold s-z of our world books.
Turns out,
he's been skipping his
summer school classes,
and selling the books one by one
to that antique shop on Lindale.
He does make life interesting with
his ways of avoiding responsibility.
I suppose he gets that from me.
All right, now I know you only talk
to your mother about your worries.
I'm here to remind you to just
relax and squeeze Chickie.
That's what she told me to say.
I'm bad at this.
Please, don't worry.
Go have some fun!
All is fine here. Even
with your nutty brother.
He did ask when you're
coming home today.
Nice to hear his voice, huh?
Sleep well. Love you.
I miss him.
I miss him too.
Come on. Let's go
say goodbye.
You're it!
Look what I found! Pirate