Alien Private Eye (1989) Movie Script

- Uh!
- All right, all right.
Where's the other half?
- Get away from me!
- Give it to us.
Or we'll kill you.
- Who are you?
Let go of me!
- Yo! Let her go.
Let her go now.
What's your name?
- Rene.
- I'm Lemro.
What did they want?
- I don't know,
I never saw them before.
You're the one who's being
chased by thugs
and doesn't know why.
Let's go dancing.
- Love to. Wait a sec
while I make a phone call.
Hello, Rob. How's it going, bud?
Can't make it over tonight.
I just met the most beautiful girl,
helped her out of a jam.
Now we're going dancing.
Yeah, major league yabbos.
Listen, by the end of the
night, she'll be so hot for me.
I just say so, that's all.
Later, buddy.
Oh, my God!
- What the hell?
Let's get the hell out of here!
- We gotta get out! Hey, hey, Chico!
Oh, my God!
Tell me who you are, asshole!
- Kilgore sent me.
- What does he want?
- He wants the disc.
- What disc?
- Ask the girl.
- Mess with me again,
pal, and you're history.
I feel great.
How can you say that
when we've just been shot at?
- Where I come from,
this stuffs a piece of cake.
- Oh? Where's that?
Listen, before we do the story of my life,
don't you think it's about time for you
to come clean with me?
Who are these guys?
What do they want from you?
- I'll tell you...
but not until I trust you better.
- You're so beautiful.
Lemro, you're so good.
Take that stupid hat off.
- That was great.
- I've never felt
anything like that before.
What are you?
- An alien.
- That's obvious.
- What, are you prejudice or something?
- No.
- Suppose I was an alien and
Jewish. How'd you like that?
- It has nothing to do with that.
- Suppose I was an alien
and black. How'd that be?
- I don't ever wanna see you again!
- Dude. What was that all about?
- I told her I was an alien.
- Yo, dude. I told you never to do that.
- She saw my ears.
- Why don't you get those
things clipped, dude?
- Yeah, right. Then when I
go back to my own planet,
all the people there will
think I'm an asshole.
- You're never going back, dude.
Stay here.
- I'm going back.
- Oh, yeah, right. When?
- I don't know, but I'm going back.
There's a woman
here to see you.
- Send her in, Suzy.
Rene! I knew you'd be back.
- Call me Electra.
- What can I do for you?
- You can find
something for me.
- Have a seat.
- I prefer to stand.
- Tell me about it.
- It's an artifact
of an ancient Egyptian civilization.
The secrets it contains are
of the utmost importance
to our understanding of the
development of Western culture.
- What does it look like?
- It's a perfect circle about this big.
It's black; jet black,
with silver inscriptions
written out on both sides.
- How did you lose it?
- It was stolen from me.
- When?
- The day before yesterday.
- Where?
- In my hotel room.
Someone obviously knew I had it.
I was bringing it to New York.
I was going to meet with the
Museum of Natural History.
These men broke into my
room and took it from me.
- What did they look like?
- They wore masks. I don't know
what their faces were like.
May I have a drink?
- White wine?
- Scotch and soda.
But one of them had a skull
and cross bone set in gold
in one of his front teeth.
- Some trees grow up twisted.
- Can you help me?
- I can.
- May I ask you a personal question?
- Go ahead.
- Do you like Earth women?
I've been away from home a long time.
I've been getting very lonely.
- You're very beautiful.
Your snicks are very solid.
- Thank you.
- How did you hear about me?
- You've got a rep.
- Here?
- Not here,
at home on Styx.
- Why did you come to Earth?
- To bring the disc back
to its rightful owners.
- How did you get a hold of it?
- Don't ask me so many questions.
- How did you find --
- Lemro, look.
That man.
He's been following me, Lemro.
I'm afraid of him.
I think he wants to kill me.
- Why?
- He's coming up here
to talk to you, I'm sure of it.
Who is he?
- It's him! He mustn't see me!
Let me hide in the closet.
Forget about it.
- Quick!
- Be my guest.
- What is it, Suzy?
- There's another, uh...
- I believe there's a man
there who wishes to see me.
- Well, that's right, boss.
- What's his name?
- What's your name?
- Scama.
The man says
his name is Scama.
- Send him in.
- Mr. Lemro, private
investigator, I presume?
- That's right.
- I am here to see you on a
matter of urgent business.
A matter of the utmost importance.
The fate of the Earth
will not be unaffected
by the outcome of the matter
about which I wish to speak to you.
Mind if I smoke?
- No, go right ahead.
You are not unaware of a struggle
which is occurring now
between the lowest elements
of organized crime in this city.
- What kind of struggle?
- A struggle for control,
for control of the most deadly
kind of force known to man.
- Like what?
- Like a thermonuclear device!
- I'm intrigued.
- I am not joking, you understand?
- And how did a bunch of cheap hoods
get their hands on an A-bomb?
- By chance.
- Tell me what it looks like.
- It's black; jet black,
in the shape of a disc.
- Let me guess, with silver inscriptions
written out on both sides?
- How did you know?
- Why is everybody
after that goddamn disc?
- How dare you speak to me that way.
- Let me see your ear!
- Oh!
- Doctor. Plastic surgery.
- I will not submit to
this uncivilized behavior!
- So, you're from Styx.
- And you know more
than you're telling.
I see you've already heard of the disc.
And now, I begin to wonder
if perhaps I was in error in feeling
I might be able to trust you.
If you will raise your hands, please.
If you don't mind, I
will search the premises.
- You didn't finish
telling me how it got here.
- It fell here.
It's not from Earth. It fell out the sky.
And it was found.
Found by the wrong people.
If you care about Earth,
if you care about the people here,
if you care about our planet, about Styx,
you will help me recover it.
- And why should I believe that?
- Because that's the truth.
- Surprised about this?
- So, Electra, we meet again.
- Since you followed me here.
- I am sure I don't know what you mean.
- You have never thought
to check up here on Earth?
- Yeah, you will surely
agree that our rivalry
has always been to our mutual benefit.
- What's he talking about?
- Really, Mr. Lemro, this
is none of your concern.
- Thermonuclear device, Egyptian artifact.
Who the hell are you guys?
- Lemro, we need you.
- What for?
- Oh, really, Electra? You
think it's actually necessary?
- Come clean! Tell me the truth!
I see no need to
listen to these rude demands
any further, do you?
- No.
- Good.
So good to have met you.
- Find the disc, Lemro.
I'll pay you a million quiplets for it.
- A million quiplets?
That's a lot of money on Styx.
- I'll be in touch.
- No tricks, or we'll
blast you all to hell.
- Did you bring the cash?
- I brought it.
- Then where is it?
- Luger, show 'em the money.
There it is. Three million in cash.
Any other kind of a deal and
I wouldn't do
this kind of business with a dog like you.
- You're slime, Hanson!
- You young punks think
you own the world.
- If it wasn't for the fact
that I needed the cash flow,
I'd keep the disc and bury
you with it once and for all.
- Where is it? Where is the disc?
- I only got half of it.
- What?
- Read my lips.
- The deal is off.
- Take half the disc.
It's worth half the cash.
- Yeah, you get the
money and I get nothing.
- You get half the disc!
- Without the other half,
this thing is worthless.
How could you lose something like that?
- How do I know you
didn't steal it from me?
- Easy, easy, easy.
- Oh, God, ease this life. Don't you fire.
- Eat lead and die!
Get back!
- Buy the farm, Streak?
Guess again!
- Uh!
- That was a great idea of yours, Kilgore.
I taught you
everything you know.
- You taught me too much.
Plant the dope. Leave $150,000.
Let the cops figure it out. Let's go.
He was gonna sell it!
- Not anymore.
The disc is worth millions.
- We're gonna buy all
the police in this city.
This is the answer.
- More of it. I need more of it.
- Steve, you're my brother.
You can tell me.
You never did drugs.
How could this have happened to you?
Me and my buddies
were in this bar night before last.
We ran into some bad dudes.
- Leave me alone! Get lost!
- Come here.
- Come on, baby.
We're gonna show you a good time.
- Get your hands off me. Uh!
- We're gonna light your fire, baby.
- Please. Leave me alone!
- She just wants to be left alone.
- She's too tense.
- Man, guys like that
like that just make me
wanna kick ass!
- Yeah, you and me both.
- You need a man who knows
how to make you relax.
- Get away from me.
- You're coming with us!
- That does it for me! Come on!
- All right.
- Yeah, let's...
- Your turn!
- Uh!
- Come on!
I got a lot more for you!
Don't go.
- No! No!
- Uh!
- Here you go, big boy.
- Okay, go ahead, knock it off.
No, no, no!
- Come on.
No! Stop, no!
- Oh, my God!
Was it heroin?
Not heroin, not cocaine.
Something awful.
Something worse.
I need it.
I need more. More!
Then after they left, I found
half of that black disc.
They must have left it by
accident after the fight.
Oh, I'm going to have to shoot up again.
I need to. I need it, Rene.
- Steve!
I'll help you.
I swear, I'll do something to help.
- Good evening.
May I come in?
- Sure.
- What a lovely residence you have here.
This kinda space would be
very expensive at home.
- They don't give it away here, either.
Have a drink?
- Is that really...?
- Unearthly spirits,
liquor from another galaxy.
All the comforts of home.
- Thank you.
Oh, it seems so odd to be drinking it
on such a strange planet.
I don't think I'll ever get used to
these funny looking ears they have here.
- Why'd you have the
plastic surgery, then?
- That's why I come to
speak to you, Lemro.
This is the case that could
make my career at home.
Everyone has heard of you.
Your exploits are even
more famous since you left,
but I am, as yet, not so well known,
but if I could just solve this case,
if I could recover the disc...
- What is it?
- But I already told you.
- Thermonuclear device?
Cut me some slack.
- It hurts me deeply, Mr. Lemro,
that you should doubt my words.
- Right, and Electra said it was
an ancient Egyptian artifact!
- Electra, Electra, Electra!
She is always interfering in my cases!
- Don't change the subject.
- That woman will drive me crazy.
She lies to you through her teeth,
yet you believe her instead of me.
- I don't believe either one of you!
- But you must, Mr. Lemro.
A terrible force is about to
be unleashed on your world.
And now, I must be going.
I am sorry to find you so uncooperative.
I had hoped that we'd
be able to collaborate
to our mutual benefit.
And now!
- Can't pull that shit with me!
Didn't you ever have John Huston?
- Oh, where am I?
You're a very violent man.
- Unhappy childhood.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
Now, I really must be going.
I hope you'll reconsider your decision.
- Don't be so sure that I won't.
I'm sure there's some truth
to what you've told me.
- Now, may I have my gun, please?
- Why, sure.
Don't even think about it.
- No, perhaps that would be better.
- Kilgore!
- Yes!
Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore!
- The first one is for me.
What's in it?
- Saltwater.
- And the others?
- Real thing.
- Huh.
Good man.
Now who's gonna get it?
- T-Bone!
You were flawless yesterday.
- This one's for you.
- Delilah? Where's Delilah?
- Oh, yeah.
- Bring me Delilah!
Holy shit.
- Soma! Kilgore, I deserve it, too.
Give me some Soma.
- Oh, you do, do you?
- I killed 10.
No, 20.
No, 50 of Hanson's slimy weasels.
- 50?
- 50?
- 50!
- 50!
- No, a hundred!
- Oh, a hundred! A hundred!
A hundred!
- A hundred!
- I said it was a hundred!
And the first man who calls me a liar
has to answer to this.
That's right.
My bare hands.
- All right. Come over here.
Get ready.
- Kilgore, me, me!
Give me some Soma.
- You? You pitiful wreck.
Why should I give you anything?
- Please, please, Kilgore!
- Get away from me!
- No!
- Delilah?
Where is she? Where's Delilah?
There she is.
- Come here, my beauty.
- Uh!
Why don't you let me go?
- Let you go? Darlin', 'cause I love you.
- You call hate love.
- We have a love-hate
relationship, darling.
- All love-hate relationships
are hate-hate relationships.
All right, then, I hate you!
What difference do you
think it makes to me?
Give me some Soma!
- Give me another one!
Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore!
- Dude.
- Rob, how you doing, buddy?
- Just raging, dude.
- What are you drinking?
- Cerveza, dude.
Breakfast of champions.
- One more.
- So what's shaking, bro?
- Man, are you ready for this?
I think I'm in love.
- No way!
With an Earth woman?
- Hey, not so loud.
- Totally. Right on, dude.
So who's your dream date?
- Same girl I told you
about over the phone.
The one I met the day before yesterday.
- The one you helped out of a jam, yeah?
- That's her. I really
think I'm in love, man.
I really think I'm in love with her.
- So lay on me her stats, dude.
What's she like?
- She's beautiful.
She's an interior decorator.
She wears great clothes,
she's got fabulous taste.
- Yeah.
And it's weird,
but even though her and I
are so totally different,
I really think she understands me.
- Whoa, take it slowly, bro.
The last time I saw
this chick, as I recall,
she didn't look too stoked.
Wasn't she the one I saw bailing
from your pad the other night?
- That's the thing.
I might not even ever see her again.
- Didn't she give you her number?
She gave
me a lot more than that.
- Yeah.
- And she saw my ears.
- Why didn't you get those
things clipped, dude?
- If that's what it
takes to make her happy,
I might do it.
I haven't been able to think of anything
but you since you left.
- Lemro, that's not why I'm here.
I've decided to trust you.
You're the only one I can turn to.
My brother's been poisoned.
He's been addicted to some kind of drug.
He's sick, Lemro.
He needs help.
Remember those thugs who were
attacking me the day we met?
- What did they want?
- They wanted this.
- What is it?
- I don't know.
But they'll do anything to get it.
- What are you doing with it?
- Staying alive.
My brother found it in bar after
they beat him half to death
and shot him full of poison.
- Here, let me see it.
It's Krell.
- You recognize that writing?
- You bet.
- What is it?
- You know
the international "not allowed" sign?
- You mean the red circle
with the line through it?
- That's it.
- Well?
- Well, this is like the
cosmic version of that.
There are seven or
eight thousand planets
where if they catch you owning
anything marked like this,
they kill you.
- How'd it get to Earth?
- It fell here.
- Well, what is it? Why is it so bad?
- I don't know yet.
It's gotta be pretty serious.
My planet's equivalent of the FBI
is here looking for it
and they're not talking.
We'll have to see the other
half of the disc to find out.
- How are we gonna do that?
- Not we. I'll handle these
sons of bitches myself.
You take care of yourself
and your brother.
- How will you find them?
- You remember the fight in the disco?
- I think so.
- Before I turned that hairball
loose, I put a bug on him.
If I can get near him again,
it'll lead me right to them.
- Thank you.
Lemro, they're coming for me again soon.
I can feel it.
- My son, you must turn
from these evil ways.
- Bug off, father.
- Look within yourself at
the light that beckons you.
It is God's light.
The light of your eternal salvation.
God can forgive the most heinous of sins.
The most horrible crimes.
It is not too late for you to
turn from this path of evil.
But stop, stop now before it is too late.
- No, Kilgore, not the
tooth! Not the priest!
- Arr!
How could you do it?
How could you do it to a priest?
Don't look at me that way.
I know you've only got
room in your mouth
for one false tooth full of poison.
I've been with you a long time, man.
How could you do that to a priest?
- Lemro.
- What? You?
- How nice to see you again.
- What are you doing here?
Who in the hell do you think you are?
And why are you after this goddamn disc?
- Forget about the disc, Lemro.
Let's talk about us.
I miss the touch
of a man from our world.
- You remind me of home.
How much I love it.
Electra, I'm in love with another woman.
An Earth woman.
- Where is she?
- Well, whether or not
she's in love with me
is still an open question.
- In that case...
- You promise never to
come here like this again?
- I promise.
- Oh! Lemro!
- Don't try it, you asshole,
or I'll blow her brains
all over the floor!
- Do it! Do it!
Why didn't you do it?
- Are you kidding?
I'd have loved to, but I
want him to lead me back
to where they live.
See, he's still wearing that same jacket.
If he'd have left at home in the laundry,
I would've nailed that son...
Is that your car?
- Yeah.
- Give me your keys!
- Over there.
- I'm out of here. Meet me at my place.
Stay inside. Lock the doors and stay low.
- Be careful.
- He's moving pretty fast.
Got to keep him in range.
- Mmm!
- Coming in today, but
it's coming in tomorrow.
- No, he couldn't get it to us tomorrow.
But we'll have to see
what we can get done.
- We got our assurance, man.
- A couple of coke dealers
face down in the river.
You'll never see them again.
- I went there. I got to her.
I almost had her, but
that guy from the disco,
he shot off my ear.
He shot off my ear!
- Oh, yeah? So what?
Get out of here!
- Any trouble?
- Not yet.
How'd it go?
- I found it.
I went and tracked him right
back to where they live.
I'm going back there tonight.
- You sure it'll be safe?
- Don't worry about me. Come on.
Let's go out.
- It's nice out.
- Rene, I've got something
I need to tell you
about the day we met.
- What is it?
I'm sorry I didn't tell
you more about myself
Before we got involved.
- Oh.
- I'm really sorry, Rene.
- It was a shock.
You terrified me, Lemro.
- I know. I'm really sorry.
I mean, I know you
can't exactly look it up
in, like, Emily Post,
under the chapter "Aliens."
When do you tell the girl?
But you know, all the same,
after you get involved,
it's not the right time.
- Not to mention during.
- Right. Not to mention during.
- It was fun, though.
- I know. It was for me, too.
- Wait a minute, Lemro. Slow down.
I don't think I could ever
be involved with an alien.
- Just gimme some time, Rene.
That's all I ask.
- So Lemro, what brought you here?
- You mean like to Bel Air?
- No, I mean like to Earth.
- What do you mean? Earth is fun city.
- What?
- I'm having a good time.
I'm on vacation.
Seeing new places, doing new things.
- What are you a private eye for, anyway?
- Lets me meet people
and get to know them.
I meet more people and get to
know them better in a month
then I'll bet you do in an entire year.
This is too much.
- Cut it out.
- Get serious here.
- Come on. Let's go hear some jazz.
- Food! More food!
- Man, could you believe
how good that thing tastes?
- You.
- You're Kilgore.
- You're dead.
I don't think this is enough for you.
Well, you'll feel this.
Take him upstairs and lock him up.
It won't be long before he'll do anything
for another taste of Soma.
Uh, uh!
Ya, ya!
Uh, yah!
Yah, yah, yah!
- Lemro!
Are you all right?
- Uh, uh!
- Good morning.
I'm making us some breakfast.
How are you feeling?
- Great.
- What happened to you last night?
- How'd I get here?
You just came in, passed out.
Lemro, are you feeling okay?
- Yes and no.
You know that stuff they
shot your brother up with?
- Yes.
- Well I got
an armload full of it yesterday, too.
- No, Lemro! Not you, too!
- I didn't respect those guys enough.
Tell me what the stuff does.
- You mean what it did to Steven?
- Yeah.
- Do you really wanna know?
- Yeah, I really wanna know.
I have to know.
- By tonight, you'll do
anything for another hit.
By tomorrow morning, you'll be nuts.
- Nuts?
- Nuts, crazy, insane.
And if you don't shoot up again then,
I don't know what'll happen next.
- Great. Was I wearing a jacket
when I came in last night?
- Yes, over there.
- Check this out.
- Lemro, you found it.
- Yeah, I came out with the goods.
Where's your half?
- It's right here.
- Let's see it.
Of course.
It's part of a device that makes Soma.
- What's Soma?
- It's what me
and your brother are pumped up with.
- Well, okay, but what is it?
It's an alien designer drug.
- I've heard of designer drugs.
That's when a scientist
looks at a molecule
of an illegal drug and moves an electron
from here over to here.
And it's still just as deadly as before,
only now it's legal.
- Right. You've already got
drugs like that here on Earth.
Imagine what kind of drugs they'll be able
to make here in a thousand years.
This drug was designed on my planet
with 30th century technology.
It's what you guys on
Earth are headed for.
Renegade scientists designed this to be
the most addictive drug possible.
Given human body chemistry,
the body chemistry of life forms like us.
It's been illegal on my
planet for 10 centuries.
- But how could anything be worse
than, say, heroin or cocaine?
- How could anything be
worse? This is worst.
First of all, doing this drug
feels almost as good as having sex.
- It's designed with
30th century technology
and it doesn't feel
better than having sex?
- Nothing feels better than having sex.
It feels great at first, then
it leaves you alone for a day
or so, then it hurts like
hell until you do it again.
You do this drug five times,
you're hooked for life.
You do it a couple hundred times, you die.
You go cold turkey, you die.
The only cure after five times
is a 100% total blood transfusion,
and only Keith Richards can afford that.
- Lemro, are you telling me
that you and my brother are gonna die?
- How many times has he shot up?
- Twice.
- And they gave me a double dose.
So we're about even. We're okay.
We haven't shot up five times yet.
We can still kick it.
We can still go cold turkey.
- Lemro, I don't know if my
brother has the strength.
They keep sending him packages
of the drug to taunt him.
And I don't know if he has
the strength to resist.
- We'll give him the strength.
- It's gonna hurt like hell.
- And in three days...
we'll be clean again.
- Yes, yes, please!
Just one more shot!
- Get ready.
Uh, yeah.
Thank you. Thank you!
- He's dead.
- Some wimps can't handle it.
Give me some Soma.
- It didn't kill him. Shit.
- Look, there's Delilah.
Give me some.
Give me some Soma.
- She doesn't have much longer.
- She's all used up.
- Get rid of her.
How much Soma do we have left?
- About a quart.
- Quart?
We gotta get the other half of that disc.
You know how much it's worth to us?
- Tell me.
- The most addictive drug in history.
Better than heroin.
Better than cocaine.
It'll make the heroin business look puny.
The coke business bunk.
It's worth billions.
Wait here.
Oh, what?!
Oh, Hitler,
who art in Hell,
help me find this disc!
Lemro's got the disc.
He's got all of it.
Find him and kill him!
- Let's do it!
- Does your brother live far from here?
- Only about 15 minutes.
How do you feel?
- So far, so good. A little hot.
You said he'd call.
- He'll call.
- Hi.
- Hi, Steve.
So good to see you.
This is Lemro.
- Rene told me a lot about you.
She told me some things I
found pretty hard to believe.
- I told him about your ears.
I told him you were from somewhere else.
- Yeah, right. She told
me where you're from.
Look, pal, I don't care where you're from.
If you're a friend of
Rene's, you're okay with me.
- I'm going to the car,
I'll be right back.
- You play football, don't you?
- That's right.
- Look, that's me right now.
- I've seen you play.
You've got great hands.
- Thanks.
Not looking so great right now, though.
- When was the last time you shot up?
- Yesterday.
- That's when they shot me up.
I thought I was gonna die.
I had to have another hit.
- And that was your second time?
- That's right.
So you've only had one hit.
- It was a double dose. We're about even.
- You don't know what
it's like when this stuff
starts to twist itself around inside you.
You feel like you'd
rather taste it than live.
- I'm not shooting up again.
That's easy for you to say now.
Just wait 'til tonight.
Wait 'til tomorrow morning.
- You wait!
I'm making up my mind now.
I'm not gonna quit 'til I'm clean.
- All right. Me neither.
- Whatever it takes.
- Whatever it takes.
- We're gonna have to move to a hotel.
They know where you live.
This is the place.
This is where it's going to happen.
Stay with it, buddy.
- I can handle it if you can.
No goddamn alien's gonna out-macho me.
I can't handle it! I can't handle it!
It's driving me crazy! Oh!
No, uh, uh!
- Lemro!
No, stop it!
- Thanks, I needed that.
- It's still 104 degrees.
And your temperature's no better.
This is killing you both!
- No way.
We're going to make it.
- You've gotta stop this
before it kills you!
- Lighten up.
- I feel good.
- We made it.
- We're gonna be okay.
How you feeling?
- Wonderful.
I don't know if I could
ever thank you enough, Rene.
- I'm so glad you're well gain.
- I'm going out for some air.
You want anything?
- Steve, can I ask you something?
- You bet.
- How do you like Lemro?
If it wasn't for him,
I don't think I'd be clean now.
I guess I'd still be
using that miserable drug.
Maybe the real question
is: how do you like him?
- The first time I met him,
I thought he was wonderful.
And then I was furious at him.
And now he's done so much for us.
Don't you think so?
- Yeah, I do.
He has.
- I mean, he got into all
of this just for my sake.
- Don't forget what he is, Rene.
- I can't.
- Okay. See you in a few.
- Where's Steve?
- Went out for some air.
- I called some friends.
They'll be here in an hour and a half.
- You feel good now?
- I feel wonderful.
- Lemro?
- Yes?
- Is your planet very beautiful?
- It's beyond anything
you've ever imagined.
- Do you miss it?
- Very much.
- Tell me what it's like.
- Silver grass, mountains 10 miles high,
five moons, 10 suns.
At night, the air is rich and sweet.
You want to drink it more than breathe it.
- Don't you have pollution like we do?
- We whipped pollution 500 years ago.
Our air is as clean as yours was
when the dinosaurs breathed it.
- Do you have oceans and ships?
- Enormous oceans.
My world is three times as big as Earth.
And our oceans are enormous.
Some of the fish that swim
in them are intelligent
and raise crops undersea
that we trade with them for.
And we have sailing ships with broad sails
the size of a football field.
- What's the name of it?
- It's called Styx.
- Lemro...
I love you.
Now we know what it is,
tell us how it got here.
- It fell here. Just like Scama told you.
After they were
outlawed 10 centuries ago,
all but one of them was destroyed.
- The last one resided in the
Museum of Planetary History
until last month.
- It was stolen,
but the robbery didn't go
as smoothly as planned.
When the thieves felt
us closing in on them,
they encased it in a rock-like substance
and launched it into space.
- It was on a trajectory
that would've returned it
to Styx in five years.
- But instead, it entered
an unchartered black hole,
which flung it into an
entirely unexpected region
of the universe.
- Your region.
- It fell to Earth here two weeks ago.
Only my discovery of
the uncharted black hole
permitted me, amongst
the thousands of agents
assigned to this case, to
trace it to its destination.
- Why didn't you tell us before?
- It is forbidden.
- Our orders were to do
nothing that might enable
anyone who found it to learn what it was
and how to use it.
- I think it's safe to
assume they figured it out.
Man, am I glad we're outta here.
- Not outta the woods yet.
- That's right.
- Oh, what a night.
- This is incredible.
- This way!
- Steve, Rene, run for cover.
I'll hold 'em here.
- Oh!
- Everybody hold your fire!
Come here.
Now give us the disc,
or your friend gets it.
- Oh, oh!
- Don't do it, Rene!
- Do it, Rene,
or we'll blast that poor
bastard brother of yours
from here to hell.
- No.
- Steve.
- Get your friend outta the street.
- Lemro, forget about
me! Stay where you are!
- Now, switch 'em.
- Say goodbye to your girlfriend, asshole!
- Rene!
Dr. Davis,
telephone, please.
- Your friend Steve will be fine.
It's a superficial leg wound.
You can set your mind at ease.
- Hey, get down! Move it, move it!
- I'm gonna rape ya and
then I'm gonna kill ya!
- Let me kill her.
- No.
- Let me kill her.
- No.
- I'm gonna kill her!
- Uh!
- You killed Scunge!
- You two clean up here.
Kilgore's mine.
- Back off, Lemro, or the girl gets it.
You're alive.
- Get out of here,
darling, run for your life!
- Better listen to her, hero.
- Oh, right.
Touch one hair on her
head and I swear to God,
I'll blow your brains out.
- Think you're so tough.
I challenge you to a fair fight!
Hand-to-hand, man-to-man,
right here, right now.
You got the guts for it, asshole?
- Fuck you.
I've been waiting for a chance to do this.
Uh, uh, uh!
- I didn't hit you that hard, buddy.