All Things Valentine (2016) Movie Script

Take my hand
we're soaring high tonight
chase the stars
and touch the sky
feel your heart
beating next to mine
paint the city
with neon lights
spread your wings and fly
high above the lights
find somewhere to hide
a place we'll call paradise
crash burn
hopeless lovers
getting lost in each other
bae, you and I
bae, you and I
sparks fly
hopeful dreamers
finding our way together
bae, you and I
bae, you and I...
...bae, you and I
Will you be my Valentine?
Do you prefer flowers
or candy?
"Dear coach...
"I've been dating
a guy I really like,
"but Valentine's day
is just around the corner
"and we haven't made
any plans yet.
"Every time I bring it up,
he doesn't take the hint.
"Valentine's day
is really important to me,
"but not to him.
"I'm wondering
"if this relationship
is going anywhere.
'Should I move on?'"
Or she wouldn't have asked
my advice.
Dear "should I move on?"...
"I'm not a big fan
of Valentine's day,
"but if you are,
and that doesn't matter to him,
"maybe you should move on.
"His insensitivity suggests
the kind of man he is...
We need
more powdered sugar.
I got a response
from "consult the coach."
The advice column.
"...not someone
"you should trust
with your heart.
"Don't waste time on Mr. wrong.
Go find Mr. right."
The coach thinks
I should move on.
Want my advice?
Don't take
your marching orders
from some so-called
That might have been overkill,
but I'm probably saving her
a lot of grief.
I know how this turns out.
Oh! I'm gonna be late.
Sun shines golden
in your eyes
as you say something
like "how time flies"
and it won't take us
very long
to ride a bus back
to the station
and we're gone
I'd like to make
a reservation
for four for 7:30.
Oh! That's too bad.
This is Lauren port
from the banner.
Ohh! You can?
That's wonderful.
Yes. 7:30.
We'll see you then.
Thank you.
Well played.
Listen, I want to give you
a new assignment.
Instead of
dispensing advice,
I want you to write
some very special columns.
"All things
We are going to be doing
a cross-media campaign,
spanning all
the banner outlets...
Newspapers, websites.
We are going to become
the go-to spot for...
All things
And I want a column
on Valentine's
every day between
now and February 14th.
You know, I think
I'd be better off
sticking to advice.
Why? What's the problem?
This is an opportunity.
You're a good writer,
you can do this.
It's the subject matter
that I have a problem with.
What's the objection
to Valentine's day?
Well, typically,
it's a disaster.
How so?
Oh. Okay. Well, um...
There was the time
that I spilled an entire bottle
of cherry soda
on my sixth-grade crush
at the Valentine's day dance.
And then, in college,
my boyfriend
regifted the iPod I gave him
for Valentine's day
to the homecoming queen.
She eventually dumped him,
but she kept that iPod.
And yet you graduated
summa cum...
Magna cum laude, but...
And then
there's the kicker,
the one that I really
just can't get over.
I was dating this guy
and I was in love,
or I thought I was,
and I went over to his place
on Valentine's day and...
Yeah, you know
the rest.
It's that
stunning moment
that steals
your faith in love.
You do have a way with words.
Yeah. Not so much with men.
"Consult the coach"
is anonymous.
It wouldn't be you
writing those columns,
but someone
who adores Valentine's day.
An anonymous fraud.
Your readership is down.
This could
give it a boost,
and it may just
revise your opinion
of a pretty wonderful
day of the year.
Okay, have some more of that.
This is yours, right?
Just a little piece.
Every single column,
about something
I would rather avoid.
That's a lot of
Valentine's day.
How come they don't
give you a byline?
Oh, I don't want a byline.
I like the anonymity.
The "coach" isn't who I am,
it's just something I write.
What will
you write about?
Well, I've got my first column
figured out...
"Romantic restaurants."
After that,
I'm gonna need your help.
What kind of help?
Well, you guys all
love Valentine's day.
You love the flowers
and the cards...
And the perfect "remind him why
he fell in love with you" dress.
I remember
why I fell in love.
Your braised chicken.
I'm gonna need input
from all
you true believers.
You gotta get over
this aversion
to Valentine's day.
What's an "aversion"?
Means she doesn't like it.
How come?
A boy I liked
hurt my feelings.
What a dummy!
Aunt Avery?
I kinda like Valentine's day.
Tell me what you like about it.
Mostly for the candy.
And Josie ward,
she's in my class.
I made her a card
and I hope she likes it.
Well, if she doesn't,
she's a dummy.
No, she's okay.
She's perfect.
You know,
if anybody could help me
rethink Valentine's day,
it'd be you.
Eat your broccoli.
I'm gonna tell your mom.
Hey, what's wrong?
Valentine's day.
What about it?
Well, it's the...
Most romantic day
of the year
and we don't have any plans yet.
I have to work that night.
I'm sorry, McKenna.
I don't think
that we're on the same page.
What page is that?
The page where we have a date
on Valentine's day.
Like the one
we're having right now?
The one you're not enjoying
because it's on the wrong day?
There are stages
in relationships,
and we're just...
We're not going anywhere.
Can't we just enjoy
each other's company,
see where it leads?
I can't do this. Um...
What do you mean?
I can't put it
as well as this.
What is this?
- "The coach."
- Who?
Read it.
Read it.
"His insensitivity
suggests the kind
of man he is."
Is this about me?
"Not someone you should
trust with your heart."
This "coach" person should not
be trusted with a computer.
"Don't waste time
on Mr. wrong."
"Wrong" because
of Valentine's day?
"Wrong" because you don't
even understand what's wrong.
I like you a lot, Brendan.
I like you, too.
Apparently not enough.
I-I don't know what
you want me to say here.
Then I'll just say it.
It's over.
- Oh, I want one of these.
- See you Friday.
Just have to find you
the right guy first.
Hey, Hannah,
we can watch Jeremy
on Valentine's day
so you two can go out.
Oh, can I get in
on that?
No date
on the horizon?
I can be
your date.
Now, who can top that?
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Thanks.
- Bye.
- I love you.
- I love you.
- 'Night, daddy.
- Bye.
Okay, next Thursday.
I'll give you a call.
All right,
I should go, too.
Where's busby?
Hey, busby.
Aw, sweetie.
This isn't like you.
Come on, let's get you home.
Come here.
Oh, I know. I know.
Is he okay?
I've got you.
I don't know. It's really weird.
He's never like this.
So McKenna
just walked out?
Yeah, they hadn't even
served the entrees yet.
Huh. My dates usually
eat before they run.
What upsets me
is the "coach."
I read her online bio.
She doesn't even
reveal her identity,
and she's not even
a professional!
She should not be
giving advice.
Well, "dear Abby"
wasn't a professional,
she gave advice
for years.
But this woman's
giving bad advice.
How do you condemn a man
you've never even met?
Yeah, but...
But what?
Well, why...
Why didn't you
want to make plans
for Valentine's day?
Besides the fact that
I'm working that night?
Come on! You're on-call
in case of emergency.
Hardly qualifies as
holding down the fort.
I know.
I was just trying
to be a good guy
and not lead her on
if I'm not sure
how I feel about her.
You're way
too cautious.
I'm careful.
I know how wrong
it can go.
Yeah, well,
there are no
guarantees with love.
Wait a minute.
Who am I to give advice?
I can't even remember
my last romance.
Actually, wait, no,
that's wrong, I do remember.
How do you reject a guy
for inferior bowling?
I'm gonna miss
going to the bakery,
but, you know, it's just
gonna be too awkward.
Sorry, buddy,
I gotta go,
I'm hooked
on pru's scones.
You know who's
gonna be sorry?
The coach.
What do you mean?
She's committed a foul
and I'm throwing the flag.
Just let it go!
Uh-uh. Somebody's
got to call her out.
Let's go!
"There are lots of things
"to do on Valentine's day,
"but a candlelit dinner
is a must.
"So here you go...
The 10 most romantic places
for Valentine's day dinner."
Are you okay?
I think
kit is making his way over here.
Not much
of a newsflash.
He works across
the street.
Yeah, but he's
Brendan's best friend.
What do I say?
"Good morning."
Good morning.
How you doing, McKenna?
I'm fine.
I'm absolu... I'm fine.
Thank you.
That's... that's good.
Morning, kit.
Morning, pru.
What can I get you?
A raspberry scone.
How many today?
Uh, just one,
I'm kind of on a health kick,
and I can't go cold Turkey, so.
For here or to go?
I have a few minutes
before I got to go back to work.
For here.
I guess you heard
about Brendan and I?
Yeah. Yeah. I, uh...
Brendan's a good guy,
and you couldn't be nicer.
these things just...
Don't work out.
Ahh. Duty calls.
An Alaskan husky,
not the type of patient
you wanna keep waiting.
Uh, thank you, pru.
See you.
See ya, kit.
You okay?
I've been better.
Maybe you were
rushing things
with Brendan.
I have a plan.
If you wanna have it all,
you've got to have one.
Married by 30,
3 kids, and a career.
Well, you can't
just corral someone
into your picket-
fence fantasy.
Are you saying
this was my fault?
I'm saying get to know the guy
before you make him the guy.
How about you?
Oh. I'm trying
"no guys,"
better than the "gone guys"
I usually pick.
Gone guys.
Dear coach!
Thanks a lot.
Your restaurant suggestions
are on par with your advice
about relationships.
Your next patient is here.
Great, thanks.
I'm Dr. bains.
Well, thanks
for fitting us in.
What seems to be the problem
with busby today?
Well, um, he's just not
his usual chipper self.
Let's take a look.
What's going on, buddy?
You could just tell me
and make my job a lot easier.
Telltale warm nose.
Our friend, busby,
is running a fever.
Aw, busby.
9 times out of 10,
it's nothing.
Well, what if he's in the 10%?
Do you have some tests
that you could run?
We have plenty of tests.
They are sophisticated
and expensive,
but I recommend this,
and bring him back
in a couple days,
and we'll see how he's doing.
You're really good with him.
Don't tell
any of my other patients,
but busby here
is my favorite breed.
I had one just like him
when I was growing up.
She's the reason
why I became a vet.
Mm. It's a pretty
awesome story.
Oh, well,
I like an awesome story,
especially when
it involves a dog.
Well, Max had a run-in
with a porcupine,
so I took her to the vet.
I offered to pay him
with my allowance,
but he let me
work off my debt.
I was in his office
every day after school...
For four years.
He, uh...
Was like a father to me.
I wanted to be just like him.
Well, it sounds like
busby's in really good hands.
Thanks again.
Okay, see you again soon.
We're a concierge clinic now?
She had her hands full.
How do you explain
that grin on your face?
I like the dog!
I like your new vet.
All right.
Get cozy, buddy.
"10 most romantic places
for Valentine's day dinner"
"are already booked.
"Coaches I know have
usually done their homework...
"Or is that your column
"is just a poorly disguised
product placement.
'Bench the coach'."
What a creep.
Hey. What's going on?
I may have an idea
for your Valentine's day column.
Oh? Great.
There's this cute
little store,
it's a confectionery,
they're having an event.
The flyer says,
"make something sweet
for your Valentine's day
That sounds promising.
Yeah. I was gonna
go with Reed,
but Jeremy has soccer practice.
Aw. Okay, well,
thanks for the tip.
Let me know
what I missed.
Come on, busby.
We've got to get ready.
Well, he's back
to his normal self.
He's chomping on the furniture,
and kissing my face at 6:00 A.M.
I know, I know.
He's a pretty
great dog.
Aw. Thank you.
You have my card.
Call if anything changes,
and one last thing...
Why don't you and busby
stand right over there,
'cause you are going
on the "wall of fame."
Okay, buddy.
Okay, busby!
One, two, three.
That'll be a nice addition.
Now, that's a lot of
happy patients.
I just love it
when February rolls around.
Romance is in the air.
Oh! And we have to get
more silk roses.
Nothing says "Valentine's day"
like flowers.
Not a fan of
Valentine's day, I see?
No. Not really.
Me neither.
And I thought
I was the only one.
I do like
the chocolates.
But that's it.
Well, I should go.
Thank you.
So I'm going to this thing
tomorrow night,
it's a... it's a class
at a confectionery,
they make chocolates.
That sounds fun.
Well, cool.
I'll text you the address.
Maybe I'll see you there.
All right.
Have a nice day.
"Just the dog I like."
Okay, everyone,
we're going to get started.
Please find a station.
I'm Lisa the confectioner,
and I love Valentine's day.
February 14th...
Sorry I'm late. all about letting people
know how much you love them.
And nothing says "love" like
giving them the perfect sweet...
The one that's perfect
for them.
My best friend likes
her candy sour,
so I make "tart hearts."
But what if you don't know
someone's favorite sweet?
You can never, ever
go wrong with chocolate.
And no chocolate goes better
with Valentine's day
than chocolate fondue.
It's so easy to make,
and tonight,
you're gonna learn how.
I think you're
gonna need this.
Thank you.
All right.
Ready? One, two, three...
Is it too hot?
Yes? Yes?
It's not too hot.
It's delicious.
It's nice, right?
Okay, I did not know
that that class was for couples.
My sister got
a flyer in the mail...
I actually had
a lot of fun.
Oh, good. Good.
So what's your grudge
against Valentine's day?
Let's just say
some romantic missteps
that occurred on that very
loaded day of the year.
How about you?
It's not exactly
Valentine's day
I object to.
It's focusing
on all the symbols
of relationships,
instead of the things
that make them last,
like a shared fondness
for the Red Sox.
Or... the Yankees.
Now, given your history
with the holiday,
why did you want
to take that class?
It was research
for my job.
What line of work
requires you to eat
chocolate fondue,
and where do I apply?
I'm a writer
and it is for a...
Project that
I'm working on.
Well, maybe we could
commiserate again sometime.
Us anti-valentiners
are a misunderstood lot.
I could come by
after work,
check on busby,
see how he's doing.
A vet who makes
house calls?
I am very dedicated.
Yes, you are.
How's Wednesday night?
Wednesday could work.
Valentine's day gifts
can be a challenge.
What if I give him
something he doesn't like?
Maybe we should find
something we can do together.
A cooking lesson?
A lingering kiss
on a moonlit beach?
Yeah, I went there,
but wouldn't it be wonderful?
Are you writing a column
or a romance novel?
There are no beaches
around here.
As to the gift issue...
Someone should give you an atlas
for Valentine's day.
Is there a special someone?
Do you speak from experience,
or is it wishful thinking?
Why not just
let it go?
I don't know. She...
Irritates me,
she intrigues me,
whatever it is,
it's hard to resist.
A moonlit country Lane, then!
I was talking romance,
not geography.
And as to my personal status
and a special someone...
Hey, dad.
What's up?
Valentine's day research...
My least favorite topic.
Of course, I'm out of ideas,
so Hannah says I should
do a column on cards.
When did you start
saving these?
Early on.
I'm a hopeless romantic.
Oh, so your
macho auto-parts gig
is just a cover?
Real men don't
save valentines.
Your mom gave me this
when we were dating in college.
Our first Valentine's day
after we got married,
I gave her
the exact same card.
You still
remember that?
Like it was yesterday.
And these...
Are from you
and your sister.
Oh, my gosh...
I remember these!
I must have cut out
a dozen paper hearts
before I got
this right.
It was sad when you guys
stopped giving them to me.
I guess we just grew out of it.
One of those turning points
for a dad,
when other guys start
claiming his daughter's heart.
Hannah's heart is claimed,
mine is still up for grabs.
Maybe it's time
to give love
another chance.
Fall down 10 times,
get up 11.
Yeah, I wish
it were that simple.
Some of us guys
are okay.
Yeah, and some of you are not,
and I seem
to attract the latter.
This really rude guy
keeps commenting on my column.
I wish he would just go away.
You can't write off
a whole gender.
Well, actually,
I did meet someone...
Busby's new vet.
He's just a friend, but...
That smile bodes well.
As a matter of fact,
there may be someone.
He's a friend,
but it has potential.
And since you are so cynical,
I will assume
you are not involved,
and if you are,
she is in for a rude awakening.
Kit, listen to this.
I already saw it.
If this
is a war of words,
the coach
may be winning.
The battle has just begun.
Your numbers
are improving every day.
People are loving the column.
"Best Valentine's day movies"...
Love actually
is a Christmas movie. Actually.
You've got real momentum.
I want to keep that going.
It's just
me giving advice
about Valentine's day
seems like
such a stretch.
Oh, well, I'll tell you
why it's working...
You're making it more personal.
Your readers can identify.
Not everyone's
a fan.
Oh, you mean
"bench the coach"?
Yeah, is there any way
that we could block him?
Why would we?
Every time he posts a comment,
the hits go way up.
People want to see
what he's gonna post next.
I want you
to try to engage him,
turn up the heat.
I don't want to do that.
Your fun
little face-off
is part of the whole
Valentine's day conversation.
It's not exactly
pulitzer material.
But a happy employer
will have to suffice.
Your best
Valentine's day movies
are a bit predictable.
Put away your hanky
and rethink the genre.
Here's my list.
I like my love stories
to have a dose of reality.
Let's open it up
to your readers.
Who has the better list?
It's a column,
not a contest.
Come on in.
Are you okay?
Oh, it's just
a work thing.
This really opinionated guy
I can't seem to shake.
Sounds like a drag.
Oh, you have
no idea.
Hey. You're not much
of a watchdog, are you?
Hmm? I could've
grabbed her purse
and been halfway
down the block by now.
Well, he's a lover,
not a fighter.
Well, in my
professional opinion,
you have
a very happy dog.
'Fraid so.
That's just a piece
that I'm trying to finish.
Oh, and the photos?
Yes. Now, that
is my first love.
That, and traveling.
Have you had a change of heart?
They're from my family.
They're super into it.
Well, does your family
live nearby?
Yeah, about
10 minutes away.
What about yours?
My mom lives in St. Louis,
that's where I'm from.
I have to
get her something.
I usually just get her a card,
but I want to
up my game this year.
My brother just got married
and moved away,
so I think she's feeling
a little lonely.
Well, what's she like?
She's a gardener,
so flowers are...
I was thinking
maybe a piece of jewelry.
Something subtle,
not too flashy.
What about
an antique locket?
You could put
your picture on one side
and your brother's
on the other.
My Uncle has
owns antique store
and he sells
some vintage jewelry.
Maybe we should
check it out sometime.
Well, I-I could meet you
there tomorrow.
I'd like that.
Me too.
I think
somebody's jealous.
Yeah, well, it is
his house call, after all.
I could make
a habit of this.
The house calls, I mean.
Right. Right!
That one's
really pretty.
What do you think?
It's very pretty.
Try it on,
see how it looks.
Oh, Uncle Henry,
it's not for me.
Who's it for?
It's for my mother.
Oh! That's nice.
Well, try it on anyway,
so he can see
what a good son he is.
Yeah. Here. Let me.
So this, I, uh...
Should warn you,
I could be back here
for a while.
There we go.
It's perfect.
It's perfect.
I'll take it.
I'll get you a box.
Well, great,
I'm glad this worked out.
Yeah, my mom
is gonna love it.
There's just one problem.
I will never
be able to top this.
So... so, your Uncle,
he's... he's great.
Yeah, he's really sweet.
He's super-protective.
When I was little,
he got me a tricycle,
and he would not let me
ride it without a helmet on.
Wait, actually,
that might've been my dad.
No, it was my unc...
Anyway, doesn't matter.
There I was,
this little
four-year-old biker girl,
tearing around
the neighborhood,
in this bright pink...
What? Am I
insane right now?
It's okay.
Thank you.
Even the box
is an antique.
Okay. Enjoy
the rest of your day.
Yeah, you too.
Uh, you know,
I was thinking
that maybe we could
grab dinner sometime.
Uh, the anti-
Valentine's day club
get together to air
their grievances.
You like
Mexican food?
I love Mexican.
In fact, I know
a great little place,
that's super-casual.
Great! The club
needs a hangout.
How's Friday?
Friday's great.
I'll, uh, I'll
pick you up at 7:00.
Okay. See you then.
Okay. All right. Bye.
So, what
do you think?
Ooh! I like that.
That's nice.
Yeah? Ah...
I already have one
like this at home.
Do you really think
Reed will object to this?
Probably not, no.
I don't know,
I want this Valentine's date
to be special.
I want to wow him.
The romance has fizzled
since parenthood.
Yeah, well, I hear
that's pretty common.
Yeah. We just need
to reconnect as a couple.
But why do you need
a specific day to do that?
Same reason
you need birthdays,
or any special
day, really.
I don't know.
A new dress says...
"I'm still in love with you,
and I want to look
special for you ."
And don't tell me
you've never felt
that way before.
I have, but we all know
how that panned out.
How're things going
with the new vet?
How do you know
about him?
Dad told mom,
who then told me.
No secret is safe
in this family.
It's going fine.
I really like him.
Enough to invest
in a new
Valentine's day dress?
He's just a friend.
"A friend
with potential."
I read your column.
Maybe it doesn't hurt
to look.
Oh, this is gorgeous.
I love the color.
It's very Valentine's day.
What if he doesn't ask me?
Worst case, you end up
with a gorgeous new dress.
One that
I can't afford.
I don't think the price
is the problem.
You want
another scone?
Uh, yeah.
Actually, no.
Well, maybe.
Not a trick question.
Uh, you know what?
I better not.
I better check on the muffins.
So. How's Brendan?
He's okay.
He's, uh...
I don't mean to put you
on the spot.
Was the whole, you know,
Valentine's day thing
just a little, like,
You should...
You should talk to him.
You think?
Yeah. Yeah, no. Definitely.
Definitely. Definitely...
Stop talking
about the scones.
Tell her how you feel.
It's that obvious?
Yeah, it is to me,
maybe not pru.
Want another scone?
I don't want to
talk about scones.
I thought you liked them?
I do,
I just don't want
- discuss it.
- Okay.
You have some flour
on your... on your cheek.
No. The other one.
Professional hazard.
Your hair looks
really good that way.
It looks the way
it always does.
You look great in that color.
Uh, it's the uniform.
It's not exactly
my best look.
I better get to work.
Have a nice day.
I think he likes you.
I don't know
what his story is.
Yes, you do!
I have a policy...
I don't date customers.
Since when?
Since the last time
I dated a customer.
Okay, but kit's
He doesn't
have tattoos.
You wanna know
my "life plan"?
Pay the mortgage
off my house,
keep this place
I don't have time
for a broken heart.
Oh, who says he's gonna
break your heart?
Says the girl
who's still pining
over kit's best friend.
I'm not
"pining," okay?
I am confused.
Yeah, well,
I don't have time
for that kind
of confusion.
Why don't you come over
for dinner tonight?
Oh, I can't.
I'm having dinner with the vet.
Brendan. I think
it's time you knew his name.
I already
like this guy.
But I can come over
later this week.
Maybe bring you some food,
give you a break from cooking.
Only if
you bring Brendan.
I want to meet him!
I think it's
a little soon for that.
Is that wisdom,
or fear talking?
Oh, that's cute!
When it comes to fashion,
I've learned
that second-guessing
what might interest someone else
is foolish.
Sure, sometimes,
it's fun to experiment,
but, in the end,
I just try to be true to myself.
Why do women
go to so much trouble?
It's a date,
not an audition.
Be who you are,
not who you imagine
he wants you to be.
If you want your "friend"
to turn into more,
focus on the conversation,
not on the outfit.
We know he's attracted to you,
or you wouldn't have a date.
This is
Yep. Thought
you might like it.
How do I not know
about this place?
Because Roy doesn't
want you to know.
more people means
more work for him.
He's gonna have to expand.
Hey, Roy.
I want you to meet
my friend, Brendan.
- Brendan!
- Roy.
So how're you doing?
Oh, my feet are swollen,
my back hurts,
and, uh, I'm making
a whole lot of money.
So, to celebrate my misfortune,
I'm throwing a party
on Valentine's day.
8:00 to 12:00,
dinner and dancing.
You're invited...
Of course, with a friend.
Roy, you do not seem
like the type of guy
who'd be
into Valentine's day.
Oh, I proposed to my Angela
on Valentine's day
and I married her exactly
one year later.
It's been almost 30 years.
Valentine's day
is my anniversary.
And there she is.
Have a wonderful evening.
I grew up
on Mexican food.
Well... frozen burritos.
Why frozen?
My mom worked long hours.
My parents got married
way too fast.
A couple strangers
have a couple kids...
Divorce is inevitable.
I'm sorry.
Mm. I'm not jaded by nature,
it's just
that Valentine's day
always seems to remind me of all
the things that can go wrong.
I'm doing all
the talking here.
Now, what is the story...
The real story...
With you
and the dreaded holiday?
Real story?
A really, really, really
bad break-up.
And I got him a watch,
which I promptly
gave to goodwill,
so there's some guy out there
walking around with a watch
that says
"happy Valentine's day.
Love Avery."
That's what my watch says.
Well, the food's
pretty good,
and so is the company.
I don't want to get
kicked out of the club,
but how would you feel
about coming back here
on Valentine's day?
I think that I could
probably handle it.
Mm. So it's a... non-date?
All right.
Listen, Avery,
there's... there's something
I should tell you.
And it's best
that I just tell you now,
get it
out of the way.
I-I don't want it
to come between us.
I am a horrible dancer.
No rhythm.
No coordination.
I have stepped
on many a toe.
It's okay, I am not
much of a dancer myself.
Then we'll just
sit on the sideline?
Yes. Absolutely.
- Of course.
- Thank you.
Although, you know,
I did see
something online...
"Learn to dance
by Valentine's day."
It's at one of
the dance studios downtown.
Could be fun?
I'm game, if you are.
All right.
Happy comes at a price.
If he can make me
feel this good...
He can make me
feel just as bad.
I have a date
for Valentine's day.
But what if he hadn't asked?
I'd be miserable.
Although I'd never admit it,
not even to myself.
You asked if I was involved.
I met someone I really like,
and she doesn't need
any Valentine's day validation
to feel worthwhile.
You could learn a lot from her.
Leave it to you to ruin
a perfectly good night.
What is?
Bench's responses
to the column.
There's hundreds
of comments here.
Yeah. They're not all fans.
Some of them
agree with bench.
You can't be serious.
He's bringing in
a male readership.
There's a real
"he said/she said" thing
going on.
Great reading.
So I suppose you want me
to push back,
keep boosting the numbers.
Oh, we're gonna do
much more than that.
We are?
Yeah, you drop by my office.
I'll tell you my idea.
How do I get rid of this guy?
You have company.
Good morning.
Hi, pru.
Hey. You got
a minute?
I was hoping that
we could bury the hatchet.
So, how
are you doing?
I'm okay.
I've been
thinking about us.
Maybe it was a mistake,
writing to
"consult the coach."
"The coach"
is not really qualified
to give advice.
You've been
reading her column?
As a matter
of fact, I have.
Someone's been giving
her a lot of grief,
and it's given me
second thoughts.
"Bench the coach"
is me.
Maybe I overreacted,
but what she said,
she's never even met me.
Do you want coffee
or something?
I-I should get going.
I'm glad you stopped by.
Sorry if I went overboard,
with Valentine's...
It's just...
I love romance
and Valentine's day
is really important to me.
I understand.
Maybe we could do something...
You know,
Dinner and a movie,
no big deal.
Oh, McKenna,
I am sorry, I can't.
Oh. Can I ask why?
I'm going to a party.
You have a date
for Valentine's day?
It just kind of happened.
I met Avery after you...
I hope you two have
a lovely night.
You want
me to what?
Pull back
the curtains.
Let people know who
the coach really is.
What would
be the point?
Force "bench"
to reveal who he is.
I couldn't care less
who he is.
Here's what
I'm thinking...
An event
to generate buzz.
"The gloves are off
and now the masks."
My mask is staying
right where it is.
Stop raining on your own parade
and hear me out.
We build it up,
and then the day before
Valentine's day,
we reveal the identity
of the coach,
and then we challenge bench
to do the same.
And then you want us
to, what, box?
I want you to debate
your brains out.
Think of
the publicity!
You'll do interviews.
Your phone will be
ringing off the hook.
I don't have
a phone with a hook.
And bench might not even show,
which would mean
you would win by default.
Look, the problem is,
I like the fact
that the coach is anonymous.
Do you know why your column
is so popular?
It's because you write
about your feelings.
It's time
for you to stop hiding.
There's no such thing
as "I can't dance."
It just takes practice.
Oh! Sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
No, my fault.
It's okay.
I am a disaster.
I... are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
You just might have to
carry me home.
You mustn't give up.
Let's try something
a little slower.
Give your feet time
to catch up with your heart.
All right.
Now hold
your partner close.
Now look into her eyes.
Surrender to the moment
and the music.
There's never been anybody
I couldn't teach!
Look at them.
They've been together so long,
and they're still holding hands.
Oh, yeah.
All those years
of loving each other,
and the fighting
and making up.
Hanging in when
the going gets tough.
The past doesn't have
to define the future.
I wrote that once.
Not sure that
I believed it then.
You believe it now?
I want to.
I mean, that's what
everybody dreams of
when they're
younger, right?
A love that stands
the test of time.
Valentine's day
came early this year.
I think I have a boyfriend.
Look at you,
getting all
serious and fit.
I've already
lost five pounds.
You're not gonna be
the only veterinary stud
in the neighborhood.
How often
are you running?
Every day.
What inspired
this transformation?
Oh, I just want
to get in shape.
You know,
lose the love handles,
work the cardio,
live a little longer.
Who is she?
It's pru.
Why haven't you
asked her out yet?
I'm just waiting for
the right moment.
You have literally had
hundreds of moments.
You're in there every day.
All right,
the right words then.
The right wardrobe.
It would help
if I was taller.
You just gotta get
out of your comfort zone.
I stepped out
of mine with Avery,
and I couldn't
be happier.
I don't have
a comfort zone.
I have varying
degrees of anxiety.
Avery and I
made a date
for Valentine's day.
Huh! You're really
taking the plunge.
I like her a lot.
I just can't
help thinking
what if it
doesn't work out?
What's the worst
that could happen?
I need you to do something.
Hi, McKenna.
How come you didn't tell me
about Brendan?
Tell you what
about Brendan?
That he was dating
somebody new.
Ava... Emory...
Avery. Avery Parker?
What's she like?
I-I don't
know her that well.
She brought her dog in
a couple times.
Is it serious?
- The dog is fine.
- You know what I mean.
You should talk to Brendan.
You know what?
I'm gonna go.
If you wait too long
you're gonna lose him.
He makes me nervous.
I hate that feeling.
I think that means
that you like him.
No, it means
we need to drop it.
Okay, you made
your point.
Tell me
this isn't an omen.
The omen needs
more cinnamon.
I'll bake
another batch.
for bringing dinner.
Of course!
Anything to avoid writing.
Why do you want
to avoid writing?
Because you're not considered
a real writer if you don't.
I'm a real writer.
Oh, is that so?
Wanna see
what I wrote to Josie?
I sure do.
Wait till
you see this.
It is so sweet.
Oh, and Reed said
he's gonna be late,
so we should
start without him.
Aunt Avery.
That's so pretty.
Thanks. Read it!
Hey. Why don't you read it?
It's always better
in the author's own voice.
"Dear Josie,
"I am glad you are my friend.
"I like how you laugh
"and you are really good
at math.
You also have
very pretty hair."
She has very pretty red hair,
like yours.
Girls love it
when you say stuff like that.
"I hope you have
a happy Valentine's day,
and I hope you like this card
as much as I like you."
I think she's gonna love it.
I wish I could be
as honest in my writing.
All right.
Go wash up for dinner.
I think your writing
is very honest,
especially lately.
You sound like my editor.
Maybe it's Brendan.
This new romance has
given you more daring.
Okay, I wouldn't call it
a romance.
Not yet.
Why don't you invite him
to mom's potluck?
No! It is way too early
for him to meet my family.
Mention it as a casual,
off-the-cuff thing,
and then ask him
how many kids he wants to have.
Who are you talking about?
Aunt Avery's
new boyfriend.
What'll I wear
to the wedding?
This place
is a dog's paradise.
This place is beautiful.
We come here
every weekend.
It's a trek,
but it's worth it.
Do you notice
who he's been
spending a lot
more time with?
Seriously. Are you
gonna go there?
I'm just saying.
Come on.
No, no, we both know
who has his heart.
Well, I'm glad you're
giving up on that easily.
Oh, it's just as well.
I don't want to
confuse the little guy.
Before he took off,
my dad used to
take me hiking
at a place almost
as beautiful as this.
I can't imagine
how rough that was.
Do you wanna go
to dinner tomorrow night?
We could go back
to El adobe.
I would love to,
but I've got a potluck
at my mom's house.
It's kind
of a tradition.
No problem.
You want to come?
You know what?
It's okay.
My family can be
really overwhelming.
It would be a lot of...
What does one
bring to a potluck?
Well, "honorary Parkers"
don't bring anything.
That's... that's what
my mom calls a guest.
I'm okay
with that handle,
but I do want to
bring something.
The anti-valentiners
are challenged
around every turn.
Hearts are becoming
I'm not as "anti"
as I used to be.
I'd hate to disband
the club, but...
Sometimes, you just got
to go with the flow.
What's the matter
with you?
"Bench the coach"
wrote a comment.
I think
it's a little too harsh.
I'm trying to unsend it.
You do realize
that you and bench
are the same guy,
We seem to be diverging.
I'm not as critical.
Not anymore.
Why? What'd you write?
A snarky one-liner
about her corny taste in music.
I think
she'll survive.
She's probably
just some lonely soul
with no one in her life.
Except for bench.
Maybe that's
why she's responding.
You wanna
grab some lunch?
Let's go to the deli.
I have to get potato salad,
a lot of it.
Okay. How much do you want?
Enough to feed
six to eight people.
You are hungry.
It's not all for me.
Avery invited me
to dinner with her family.
So you could barely
handle Valentine's day,
and now you're
meeting the family?
It's no big deal.
I asked her to dinner,
she was going to her mom's,
and invited me along.
Right. Right.
Well, don't make
yourself nuts.
It's just a meal.
With her family.
When are you
gonna ask pru out?
You know.
I don't know.
She might
turn me down.
There's only one
way to find out.
It's no secret to my readers
that I wasn't a fan
of Valentine's day.
But once I started
writing about it...
My attitude changed.
Valentine's day
is a way to celebrate
the relationships
that give our lives meaning.
Something "bench the coach"
doesn't seem to understand.
He's trying!
So it's time to call him out.
This Thursday at 3:00,
I'll be
at the Portland banner.
Come meet the person
you've been attacking.
"Attacking" may be a bit strong,
but consider me called out.
All right, buddy!
And my landlady
pounds on my door.
Her cat
had swallowed an earring,
so I retrieve the earring,
save the cat.
She was so grateful,
she let me live there rent-free.
I was able to pay off
my student loans.
That cat
paid for my education.
Maybe I'll be a vet
when I grow up.
Or a writer.
Or a fireman.
They say kids your age
will live to be a hundred,
so maybe you'll have time
to be all three.
Do you still live
in that apartment?
I finally got a house,
and then I got a cat
to remind me I'm home.
How many kids
do you wanna have?
A dozen, at least.
When are you guys
getting married?
Okay! Wow! Sweetie. Um...
Brendan and I
are just friends.
But my mom needs to know
what to wear to the wedding.
I'm so glad
you could meet my family.
So am I.
Dinner was great.
Thank you.
Wanna see
grandma's new canary?
I thought
you would never ask!
Well, we know
he likes kids.
He's wonderful, Avery.
I agree.
I'd like him better
if he wasn't so good-looking.
Yeah, well,
nobody's perfect.
Why don't you invite him
to the face-off with bench?
The canary is sleeping.
I'll meet him next time.
Who wants chocolate?
'Tis the season.
It certainly is.
Brendan, how do you feel
about basketball?
I got a big-screen TV
and a comfortable couch.
I like your friend,
aunt Avery.
So do I.
Brendan? You okay?
I'm going out
for an hour or so.
Where you going?
There's this...
Thing I have to go to.
"Consult the coach"
called me out.
You're gonna go
confront her?
Brendan, don't do it.
You don't understand.
Look, whoever she is,
she means well.
I'm through fighting.
She was right
about McKenna and me.
And she was right
about Valentine's day.
Huh. What brought about
this change of heart?
I had a really good
time last night.
It was a little weird
when her nephew demanded
to know what my intentions are,
but I haven't laughed like that
in a long time.
You're in a good place
right now.
So why go to this showdown
with the coach?
I'm gonna
apologize to her.
Well, good for you.
Good for you!
Is this
really necessary?
We want the world's
first glimpse of you to dazzle.
Has there been
any follow-up from "bench?"
Maybe he won't show.
Well, he better.
Brendan? Hi.
Hey! What are you
doing here?
Like we'd miss this.
You're, uh,
fans of the coach?
Imagine that.
to the Portland banner.
I'm Lauren port,
the executive editor.
"Consult the coach" is one of
our most popular columns
and its author
has always been anonymous,
but today, all that changes.
It's time to put a name
and a face
to the column.
I would like to introduce you
to the real "coach."
Please, say hello
to Avery Parker!
Wow, um,
thank you all for coming.
I have to admit,
this was not my idea.
There's a comfort
in being anonymous,
and this is a little bit
scary for me,
I'm proud of the column
and I'm really honored
that I get to write it.
And I know that you're not
all here just to see me.
There's somebody else
you would like to meet.
Here I am, "bench."
Time to show your face.
But Brendan did!
Wasn't that sweet?
Yeah, where'd he go?
Wait. He was here?
Didn't you see him?
No. How would he
even know about this?
Maybe he heard us
talking about it
last night.
...the real "coach."
Please, say hello
to Avery Parker!
What are
you watching?
Uh, "consult the coach."
They revealed
her identity today.
Oh, right.
Was it even a woman?
Yeah. Her name is
Avery Parker.
Why does that name
sound familiar?
Oh! Did she
and "bench the coach"
have their epic
He didn't show.
What's the problem?
Avery Parker is
Brendan's new girlfriend.
I don't get it.
Neither do I.
I am glad
people know who
you are now.
Your columns have
become very special.
I think there's
a reason for that.
Besides my mentoring?
No, in addition
to your mentoring.
Writing this column
has actually been
really good for me.
I'm starting to believe
in love again.
And I met a guy.
He's honest
and he's kind,
and charming,
and I trust him.
That's a huge
step for me.
First step
to genuine happiness.
I'm glad you found someone
that you can count on.
I mean,
what are the chances?
Well, what
did you say to her?
Nothing. I left.
So, wait...
She doesn't know?
No, not yet.
No, Brendan. Brendan.
You have to tell her.
And say what?
This is a disaster.
It's Avery.
Talk to her.
Avery. Hi.
Mom and Hannah said you were
here today, at the paper.
I'm sorry
I couldn't stay.
We had an emergency.
A, uh, German Shepherd
with a fractured femur.
Is everything okay?
You sound funny.
It was a tricky procedure.
Well, I was thinking
of going to El adobe
to celebrate my big reveal,
and I thought it would be nice
if you could join me.
That's a good idea.
It'll give us
a chance to talk.
See you then.
You have to
tell her.
I will.
I just have to
figure out how.
Excuse me.
Are you Avery Parker?
That's right.
I tried to call,
but I couldn't
get through.
I-I'm sorry.
Do I know you?
I read your column.
And you do know me,
I mean, sort of.
I wrote to you
a while ago.
"Should I move on?"
Oh, right!
Yeah, I was writing
to you about my boyfriend.
His name
is Brendan bains.
You told me
that I should move on
and now
he's your boyfriend.
I-I don't know
what to say right now.
I'm sorry for just
showing up like this.
I'm just really confused.
I thought
you should know.
What do you mean?
Brendan is
"bench the coach."
Goodnight, Esther.
Oh! Hi.
I thought
we were gonna meet
at the restaurant.
Is it true?
Are you
"bench the coach"?
Just tell me.
I'm "bench the coach."
I mean...
I was.
And I was gonna tell you...
I have been wrong
about men before,
but I have never been
this wrong.
Avery, wait.
All of those things
that you said...
What can I do?
Forget we met.
We like to give flowers
on Valentine's day.
Flowers are so beautiful
and festive.
They're the perfect metaphor
for Valentine's day.
However beautiful
the day may be,
it doesn't last.
Sooner or later,
that good feeling
you had on February 14th
withers and dies,
just like the flowers.
Happy Valentine's day.
Yeah, you too.
Happy Valentine's day.
Pretty unhappy,
if you ask me.
How's Brendan?
Not so good.
He and Avery split up.
Yeah, she's not
doing so good either,
judging by her column.
Relationships are impossible.
Why do we all
keep trying?
I went
to see Avery.
I told her that Brendan
was "bench the coach."
You did what?
I thought
that she should know.
Maybe I made a mistake.
I was just jealous.
And he's not even
the right one for me.
How do you know when
someone's the right one?
They meet you halfway.
Happy Valentine's day.
Dad, what are you
doing here?
Well, I was
in the neighborhood,
about to get
a cup of coffee,
and then I remembered
that you own a coffeemaker,
so I thought I'd drop over
and get a fresh-brewed cup.
Any of that true?
Your mom told me
about you and Brendan.
Do we have to talk about it?
I only met him once,
but I really liked him.
Yeah, well, the man you met
wasn't the real Brendan.
And "bench
the coach" is?
The problem is,
I have no idea who he is.
Maybe you're just scared,
and this is an excuse.
All I know is,
the guy I met couldn't
take his eyes off you,
laughed at
all your jokes.
That was
a guy in love.
Listen, nice try, dad,
I don't think Valentine's day
is ever gonna be my day.
I'm sorry to hear that,
but give the rest
of us a break,
'cause today's column
was a real downer.
You read my column?
I especially liked it lately.
So sweet and so hopeful.
It appealed
to the romantic in me.
That means a lot to me.
Don't let go
of the joy you found.
I said my piece.
I better
get back to work.
Thanks, daddy.
Think about what I said.
You know what, busby?
It's time the "coach"
started thinking about the team.
Thank you.
Thank you, uh,
for meeting with me.
Oh, of course,
of course.
I feel badly about
what happened before.
I should have never told you
about Brendan.
No, it's okay,
I'm glad you did.
No. It's not.
He was gonna
tell you himself.
Honestly, who told me
doesn't matter.
He just
didn't know how.
He was afraid
he was gonna lose you.
are complicated.
I learned that from you,
reading your column.
They're not usually
this complicated.
In the last few weeks,
you really opened up.
You gave
the rest of us hope.
Oh, that's what makes
this all so hard.
The man I thought
I was falling for
is the same man who
was calling me a fool.
What's your heart
telling you?
I don't know.
You care for each other.
That hardly ever happens.
No, that happens all the time.
The problem is,
it hardly ever lasts.
I wish "bench" never existed.
He just needs
a better editor.
You have to let her
know how you feel.
I called, e-mailed.
No response.
Yeah, I know
the feeling.
I don't know how to
get through to pru.
Did you ask her out?
Uh, not in
so many words.
I could barely
get past hello.
I'd rather just
hang onto the fantasy
than risk rejection.
You gotta get
out of your own way.
How do I do that?
Just let her know
she's worth the risk.
My apologies
for yesterday's column.
I forget how much love I have
in my life.
My friends, my family,
my dog, busby.
These are my valentines,
today and every day.
If you have that kind of love...
Celebrate it.
This is so cool.
Thanks, aunt Avery.
Almond bars?
I love these!
And dad...
This is for you.
Add it
to the collection.
You say you're proud
to be my daughter?
Well, I couldn't
be prouder of you.
We'd better go,
we have dinner reservations.
you look... wow.
Where are you guys going?
He won't tell me.
Somewhere fancy
we can't afford.
You look "wow" too.
Wanna hear about
my date with Josie?
Yes, I do!
I gave her the card,
she gave me one, too.
She gave one
to all the kids in the class,
but she drew a little heart
in mine.
Oh, wow.
That's such a pretty heart.
I think she likes you.
Her mom took us
out for ice cream.
I had chocolate chip,
she had strawberry.
At the end of the date,
she said
"happy Valentine's day,"
and then she kissed me
on the cheek.
That sounds like
a really great date.
I hope that dress
means you have a date?
I wore this for me.
Happy Valentine's day.
Same to you.
I have trouble
expressing myself,
or at least where
you're concerned.
I didn't want to
give myself any outs,
so I came with
a lot of visuals
that are pretty hard
to mistake.
I think I get the gist.
So... no pressure,
but I wonder if...
You would
like to go to dinner?
Don't you dare
break my heart.
I would never do that.
You say that now.
I'll say it
every single day,
if you'll let me.
I don't want
to spook you.
Was that...
Was that too much?
for a first date.
I can definitely
tone it down.
You might want to
lose the bear.
All in all,
it's been a pretty good
Valentine's day.
The thing about love is...
Dear miss Parker,
I want to apologize
for anything I ever did
that might have hurt you.
The truth is,
I'm your biggest fan.
You would make me
the happiest man in the world
if you would give me
a second chance.
Shh! Quiet, busby!
Please tell busby
I come in peace.
You look beautiful.
This is hard to do
without using my thumbs...
Well, I think
you and I do better in person
than we do in print.
I've never cared
for Valentine's day,
but, somehow, it brought
you and me together,
and now it's my favorite
day of the year.
I said some things
I regret,
but what I regret most
is what didn't say...
That you...
Are the most wonderful
person I've ever met.
You're doing really well.
Go on.
Avery Parker...
Will you do me the honor
of being my Valentine?
Los dias me pasan
como El viento
LA gente me dice
que ya es tiempo
que encuentre
mi media naranja
pero solo encontre
mi medio limon
yo se que El esta
en mi futuro...
With a full
and grateful heart,
I wish each
and every one of you
a Valentine's day
as magical as mine.
...seras tu, seras tu
El hombre de mi vida
yo lo creo
yo lo siento...