Almost Cops (2025) Movie Script

- Move it!
- Your attention, please!
This is a holdup!
Hand me the fucking keys! Now!
On the floor! You too! Now!
You, fuck face! Get down! Right now!
- Guys, you don't want to do this.
- Are your ears out of service?
- Are you okay?
- What did you do?
It's not too late.
There is still time.
You have so much to live for.
Yo, fucking CSO.
Shut up, or I'll shoot you.
- Stay there, preacher boy.
- I know you.
- I see you.
- Stay there!
I am just like you.
A local boy.
There is still hope.
Who are you?
It doesn't matter who I am.
I love you.
Nobody has ever said that to me.
I know. Bring it in.
You are the best community service officer
in the whole wide world.
PUBLIC ORDER
Your father would be ashamed of you.
Mrs. Verkaik, you have to clean it up.
It's not like Eddy enjoys doing this.
Do you, Eddy?
Besides, I don't have any bags.
Mrs. Verkaik, the rules are the rules.
I can't do anything about that.
There you go.
150 euros?
How am I supposed to pay that
on a state pension?
Mrs. Verkaik, I'm just trying
to keep the streets clean.
Children come out to play here.
Mrs. Verkaik, please.
Mrs. Verkaik, please don't cry.
All right, then.
Come on, Eddy.
We're leaving. Let's go home.
WE ARE IN IT TOGETHER
I know, Dad. I'm really trying.
32-0-50.
32-0-50.
POLICE
ALMOST COPS
PUBLIC ORDER
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- Are we going out for drinks?
- Sure.
- Sweet.
- Not with you though.
No worries.
Hey, Dilan.
Oh, Bruno.
This is the men's locker room, right?
Get dressed.
My cousin liked it just fine.
She's more like my cousin twice removed.
- She lives in Volendam. Not the point.
- Ramon?
- Hey.
- More like a step cousin.
I still had this. It's yours.
My dream catcher.
Don't you need it?
Yes.
No, I...
It protects you, you see.
From intruders in your bedroom. Not that...
Intruders in my bedroom?
No, well, my mom
came into my bedroom once.
I said, "Get out."
She was like, "Do you pay rent?"
Anyhow, would you like
to go for a drink with me later?
You mean
Like, in the staff canteen?
Yes. In the canteen.
Just as friends.
Sorry.
Ready to go?
The staff canteen, really?
She leaves the door wide open,
and you're like,
"The canteen. Yeah, great."
Come on. Try to understand women.
Let me do the talking.
I know what the ladies want.
This Latino rosso
would've done it differently.
No wonder she broke up with you.
Go have a seat, sweetie.
I have your food ready.
Just the way you like it.
That's the music
Dad and I used to dance to.
Someone is about to get pregnant.
I just put on the best playlist,
and you're reeling me in
with your delicious cooking.
I don't even need my eyes.
- Come and get it...
- Wilfred.
- Ramon. You're here.
- Hey.
How are you?
Your mom and I were doing some DIY.
Heavy-duty stuff.
Trying to fit a few things in.
It's not like he doesn't know.
We're all grown-ups here,
doing grown-up stuff.
I should probably go.
No, don't go.
Just eat your dinner.
This is your home too.
This is why I asked you
to always call ahead.
I have a private life too, you know?
You could have caught me stark naked.
Wouldn't that be nice?
Come on.
I only came over
to get the stuff from the shed. Okay?
Wilfred, have a nice evening.
- You know I love you.
- I love you too.
Too bad he's leaving. Still
What? This was meant for me, right?
Hey, what are you doing?
I'll be done in a sec. Promise.
Do you have a place to sleep?
A place to sleep?
Do you have a place to shut up?
This place reeks of piss.
Yeah.
Police! Hands up!
I'm allowed to be here.
Legs apart.
Further apart!
Hands down. Up!
Down. Up!
It's really you.
Sorry, man.
- You are such a pain.
- I couldn't resist.
- I might have hurt you.
- Try me.
Cool it. You're still my little brother.
Fool.
Anyway
Have I got this straight?
This is going to be a place
where young people can remain drug-free?
Laugh it up, Curly.
Just you wait and see once it's done.
Are they in for a long wait?
If you don't have anything nice to say,
go find something nice to say.
I have just the thing.
Come with your little brother.
No way.
A Lexor? Where did you find this?
You won't take my money,
so I had to get creative.
Besides, you need a good table.
You know how kids treat stuff like this.
You're insane.
Just imagine when it's all finished.
Sofas, beanbags, PlayStation.
This place will be awesome.
Yeah, man.
For real, bro?
Dad would have been so proud of you.
I'm gonna name this place after Dad.
I want it to be a meeting place for kids.
Like Dad used to say.
- Where they won't be sent on their way.
- Yeah, by guys like you.
Walk the beat with me.
Then you'll see what it's like.
You're tripping.
Here's what we'll do. We'll play a game.
If I lose, it's up to you.
But if I win,
you come along with the CSOs for a day.
Okay, agreed.
But if I win, you have to accept my money
for once, yeah?
Monday morning, 8:30.
I'm on duty that day. The night shift.
Close your mouth. Eating marshmallows,
as if you're trying to lure kids.
These guys could be
in any one of these fucking containers.
Should I shoot one?
That should bring them out.
They need to lead us to the coke.
Even if it takes a week.
- It's been a fucking week, man.
- Shitbag.
- Fuck you, man.
- It's only been an hour.
You know the three rules of a stakeout.
You don't?
Did you pay any attention at the academy?
One, observe.
Two, log it.
Jack it, yeah.
- Respond.
- Fuck you. Fucking hell.
- Who the fuck is that?
- It's for me.
What do you mean?
- Yo.
- Hi there.
- With lots of pepper?
- Sure.
Thanks, man. Right?
What is this?
- What? Nothing's happening.
- Yeah, but...
Wait. I'm calling for backup.
Wait, man. Wait for backup to get here.
- Quickly. Break the lock.
- I'm doing it.
- Hurry.
- Faster. There is no time.
- Jack.
- What?
Jack, don't be stupid now.
Fill it up.
Quickly, boys. We have to speed this up.
- Quickly. Cut it, hurry up.
- We have to move faster.
- Where are they?
- Faster.
Don't move!
We have to go.
Don't move! Freeze!
- I'm taking you in.
- How old are you? 12?
I'm 14, man.
Hey, stop! The van. Fuck.
Too bad for you.
- You left the keys in the van?
- I was coming after you.
- Come along.
- Relax.
- My sandwich.
- I have the right to remain silent.
- They all say that.
- Sure.
- Get in.
- Great job, colleagues.
Relax, dude.
You gotta take a dump? Hands up.
"Dude, where are my keys?"
We caught 100 kilos.
That pays for a lot of new vans.
You think we use the coke to buy vans?
What? Now? The three of us? Yes.
Chief.
Are you guys okay?
Should I call trauma counseling?
- No. Why?
- You know.
You just got fucked hard
from behind by a group of teens.
Him, I expect to fuck it up.
But you seriously disappoint me.
Move that crap to storage.
Start writing your reports.
I've had it with you guys.
- Two sandwiches for Jack.
- Fuck, my food.
- With lots of sauce?
- Yep.
Kevin. Get this straightened out.
Thanks, dude.
Go have a seat.
Just tip the guy, tightwad.
- Me?
- Give him five stars.
Later, man.
Come on.
That was a great catch, right?
Hey, this sauce is delicious, dude.
Hey.
I think I'm gonna quit.
What, the force?
Yeah.
Yeah? Are you out of your mind?
Fuck off.
Look. Listen.
You know what it is?
The radio! Where is the radio?
Hurry.
17-34. Transport intercepted.
Hey! Cut it out!
On your knees, motherfucker.
Come along. Come here. No.
Come on.
Come on! Let's go.
Are you all right?
The fuck, dude?
THE OLD ROTTERDAMMER
Look.
A chicken, that's a bird.
An eagle, that's a bird too.
Those are two species of birds.
But a chicken has to walk along.
It flaps its wings for a short hop,
but that's about it.
Now, an eagle.
An eagle is not going to walk.
It is going to soar.
An eagle spreads its wings,
ventures out into the world.
And it feels free.
Yes.
The big question here is,
are you a chicken,
or are you an eagle?
What Wilfred is trying to say
is that the bird is free
to return to the nest at any time.
But you always have to call ahead.
Call?
Not like always always.
That's quite enough of that now.
Big, black...
Hello, this is Ramon.
Yes, Kevin is my brother. Yes.
What's going on?
What was that?
For real, bro?
Dad would have been so proud of you.
- He was always more proud of you.
- No way.
No?
What, the necklace?
Take it.
I always said the eldest should wear it.
No, bro, no.
This is what Dad wanted. It's fine.
WE ARE IN IT TOGETHER
POLICE
They were waiting for us.
They knew we had the coke.
- They knew our route.
- Jack.
Give me two minutes with that scum.
They'll talk.
- Jack.
- Who is my new partner?
I will get the guys who beat me.
And killed your partner.
And that too.
All right, a new partner.
Let me get the look book.
- Hair color? Any preference?
- Chief.
You see, Jack,
Kevin was not your first partner.
I won't make any more excuses.
Who should I be sucking up to now?
The commissioner?
The mayor?
You know,
a step-down would be good for you.
What?
To show that you can be a team player.
A desk job?
Further down.
A beat cop in uniform?
Still further.
- Further down?
- Yes.
PUBLIC ORDER
It's so sad about his brother.
Should he be back so soon?
It's only been a week.
That can't be good.
My therapist would have prescribed
loads of pills.
To calm me down.
My head is a total whirlwind.
We should help him.
Provide a distraction.
That's how they get you.
Distractions.
Like that moon landing bullshit.
There is no moon. It's a fucking hologram.
Which they deny.
Gather around, everybody. Look alive.
I would like to introduce you all.
This is Jack.
Well, Jack. Meet Shakir. Shakir, well
If eagerness were soup,
he'd be drowning in it.
I love soup.
Lentil soup, brown bean soup with chili.
Are you Surinamese?
Never mind, you people love that.
This is Charly. She likes to ponder.
She ponders way out of the box
about all sorts of conspiracies.
Not at all.
That's what they want you to think.
I state facts.
- If your mind is open.
- Sure, hon.
And there's Bruno.
Count yourself lucky
that you're not a woman.
You aren't, right? Just kidding.
You're not a woman. You're muscular
- You're all set. Brenda?
- Yes?
She's been having a hard time,
right, Bren?
Are things looking up?
No, they're not.
Agoraphobia, kenophobia, you name it.
And then there's Dilan,
who is very capable.
And Ramon will be your partner.
So, Ramon, Jack, Ramon. So
Welcome to the CSOs.
Anything you want to tell the team
about yourself?
Nope.
Looking good, man.
I'm moved to tears.
That's how great you look.
I feel like this uniform was made for you.
CSO-licious.
Wheet-phew.
No, I meant more like
- Anyhow, come on. Let's go.
- To do what?
That's the right attitude.
This job is all about working together.
Jack, Ramon. Ramon, Jack. We are one.
I'll drive.
We both do.
This one.
In short, we keep the neighborhood clean,
safe, and livable.
People appreciate that, and it shows.
Great, right?
Fucking CSO!
Yeah. Just great.
Down!
Get the fuck outta here.
Ladies? No smoking in this area.
No smoking?
We've been at this for half an hour.
Take the trash back in.
I'll have you know that you guys
are meant to clean up the streets.
Just so you know, I'm not doing anything.
You flipping nitwit.
Are you out of your mind? Listen up.
That wasn't my trash. That's my trash.
Got it?
Yeah, scram. Don't you touch that.
Get the fuck outta here.
You're just standing there doing nothing.
He's completely out of line.
- It's his first day.
- Let's hope it's his last. Nitwit.
The respect we earn on the streets
is the satisfaction we take home.
- What's wrong?
- Gun.
You can't know that. Wait, Jack.
No, that's Richi.
He is reintegrating into society.
The shot fired at his nephew?
That was a year ago.
The year before, he shot his uncle
and held up the store where his mom works.
If we antagonize them,
we can no longer reach them.
They are going down.
- No, listen.
- Now you're in for it.
We're CSOs, right?
We're not police officers.
Hey, guys. All good?
Go lick some ass, pussy.
You want some?
Jack, wait.
Hey, CSOs. Catch.
- This is not a cycle lane, ma'am.
- I know.
Have a nice day.
Sir, this is not a cycle lane.
I know.
- Get back here.
- Jack, don't.
- Get off your bike. Shithead.
- What now?
Take it easy.
Pepper spray? For real?
Jack, we only apprehend...
Was that a bike lane?
Officially You have to let things slide.
- Good day.
- The ones from before.
Hey.
- You rotten...
- Jack!
You need help. You need Jesus.
My balls. Please.
Dumbass.
I'll get you!
- Come on.
- Out of the way!
Jesus!
Just give me a ticket already.
- Stay here.
- I can't really go anywhere. I'm cuffed.
You! Over here!
- Sit down!
- Hey, what I wanted to say.
I have known these guys all their lives.
How are you free?
- The word "minor" ring a bell, doofus?
- We were fined.
- 100 euros. That's a lot.
- For 100 kilos of coke.
Coke?
We didn't know.
We thought it was sand.
You thought it was sand? Huh?
Who do you work for?
And you?
- Later. Who do you work for?
- Wait.
- Coke? What is this?
- Paw Patrol, you used to be a cop, no?
Yeah, man. That was him.
Criminal Investigations. Yes?
These two knuckleheads are involved
in the murder of a police officer.
Wait. Do you mean Kevin?
- How do you know?
- He was my half brother.
How did you know him?
He was a colleague. A distant colleague.
I barely knew him.
I do know that you're gonna tell me
who you work for.
- We're no rats...
- If you don't talk...
Jack. They're minors.
We aren't allowed to question them.
We can't arrest them...
Moos, what's going on?
What have you two been up to?
The door is busted up!
Excuse us, ma'am.
Guys, off to school with you.
- School? It's 4:30 p.m.
- We gotta go.
- Who are you?
- Sorry. We're CSOs.
Get out of my house! Now!
Scram.
Moussa, Youssef.
Wallah, if I find out
you're up to no good,
I will kill you.
We are live
with a developing situation in
Hey. Who untied that doofus?
That doofus is Richard van der Vloed.
- Who?
- Of Van der Vloed Enterprises.
One of the ultra rich.
He's putting up
the tallest skyscraper downtown.
- Well, this is all
- Yes.
Why was he on a fucking bike?
That's his own fault.
I'm just itching to beat you senseless.
Is he still watching?
No. The rules apply to him too. Got it?
Jack's right.
Well, no.
If you can afford to buy the town,
tow it out to sea,
and turn it into a tropical island,
then different rules apply.
Come on. It's time to grovel.
Apologies. For all of it.
Why, thank you.
Sorry. That was not cool.
- Did you get those guys?
- That we did.
Ah. Good.
CLUMSY CSOs MANHANDLE MILLIONAIRE
- Are the CSOs doing their jobs?
- They're heroes. Right? Thank you.
- Bruno, see you tomorrow.
- Yo.
Wait. It's been quite a day.
We had some ups and downs...
Nothing was accomplished.
Why be a negative Nellie?
We're CSOs.
Every single day,
we take the fight to the streets.
The fight?
What do you know about fighting?
Those two are involved in a murder.
Those kids aren't killers.
How do you know?
They're not the enemy.
They just need a helping hand.
If we scare them into darkness,
they will be lost forever.
You know what your problem is?
You pretend to help people
with your fucking CSO shit,
but you're a fucking fake. Right?
Even when it's about
your own brother's killers,
you're a coward.
Fuck off.
Hey, look at that guy.
That guy over there. Stop.
- Hey.
- Yo, man.
Money and phone, as swipe.
Calm down, guys.
Calm down? Hurry up.
- Get a move on.
- Yeah, here. My phone. Wait.
- And your wallet.
- Let's stay calm.
- Bro, let's not.
- Richi.
Who is this Richi?
Funny guy, huh? Quickly.
- Okay.
- Do you think I'm joking?
- Yeah.
- Everything. Gimme.
- Get his CSO uniform.
- Wait, what?
CSO, right? Bro, take that uniform off.
- What?
- Quickly.
We don't have all day.
Get a move on. Quickly.
All of it. Yeah, right?
Look at him now. Look at the man.
- Time to go. Loesoe.
- Get his necklace.
Not the necklace. It belonged to my dad.
Fuck your dad!
- Loesoe, bro.
- Loesoe, man.
- Have a nice day.
- Later.
A holdup!
Daddy, no, don't.
Ramon. My necklace.
Dad. Sorry.
Sorry, Dad.
Dad, sorry. Sorry, Dad.
- What's in it?
- I don't know.
That guy's rich.
- Hey!
- Fucker.
My necklace. Now.
Look at him now.
Fuck. Leave. Now.
We gotta go. Move it.
- Come on.
- Look at him.
Run him down.
My necklace.
Hand me back my necklace.
Sorry.
Here, your necklace.
On the count of five.
Five. Four. Three. Two. One.
It's all over the Internet.
One single day with you and
What's he doing?
He was fine when I left him yesterday.
You are not to touch that case.
You're a CSO now.
No wonder he's gone off the deep end.
CSOs are not very bright.
You should treat them
like slow-witted toddlers.
Why'd you place me with Kevin's brother?
I figured it might help you.
It's bad enough that someone died.
And if something were to happen
to his brother, Ramon,
on our watch
That would be
The worst PR imaginable.
Right. And that's why you are going
to make sure that Ramon stays alive.
- What?
- Yes.
Yes, pretty much like in that movie
where they have to save Matt Damon.
What was it again?
No.
No.
No, it's set on Earth.
Leave it.
That dude always needs saving.
The point is,
you have no life outside work.
If Ramon suffers
as much as a tiny scratch,
you can kiss your job goodbye.
Still no poopy? No?
Go on, do your poopy.
- There you go.
- Enjoy.
Ramon, I
Time to barf. Yes, very good. Go on.
Yes? One, two
Are you gonna ignore me all day?
Not today. I'm done.
Chef, I ordered a salad roll. What's this?
Jack, someone spat chewing gum
on the ground.
Arrest him, please.
Very funny.
You look handsome in all blue. It's cute.
Bodycam. Dinky flashlight for a dinky man.
- Can I see that? Hands up.
- Hey, man! What's this?
- I need that. Fool.
- Easy.
Great job.
Clean that shit up,
or I will write you up.
Not this again.
Clean it up now!
Why pay attention to De Koning's
chattering, dry pussy flaps?
She told me to stay off Kevin's case.
But why would she?
- Because you're a dick.
- Right.
It's all wrong.
They knew where we were going.
Somebody talked.
De Koning.
He's a little crap machine.
I've had it! Clean it up now!
I didn't bring any baggies.
How about that?
It's brand-new.
Clean it up.
Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?
I'll keep my eye on De Koning.
I hear you, man.
Cute toy. What the fuck is this?
- Throw me the baton.
- Catch.
Fetch.
Insane colleagues of mine.
Did they mention my brother?
They're working on it.
Did they talk to Moos and Sef?
They know their jobs.
- I know where they are. Let's go there.
- No. Hey.
You were right.
Minors, right? We can't interrogate them.
All that bullshit.
No. Times have changed.
We live in the here and now.
It's up to us.
But
See that guy? He's recruiting those kids.
To turn them into foot soldiers.
He's armed.
Let's call for backup.
Wait. Look up there.
You see that kid? He's the lookout.
Yeah. Like I said.
Dumb but not stupid.
What's up with you?
Yesterday you stopped at nothing.
That was yesterday.
He's armed and dangerous.
Bingo. Look. Moos and Sef.
Things are about to kick off.
Okay. Stay here, all right? Don't move.
What are you gonna do?
Okay, I'll stay.
You guys are 50 meters
from the water's edge.
Swimming certificates, please.
- What?
- Swimming?
Jack, did you bring
any swimming certificates? No?
Come on.
- Whoa.
- Come.
- Take it easy, man.
- Don't move. Jack, your cuffs.
- Cuffs?
- Jack, come on.
Here we go.
Okay. No, give me the key.
- The fuck?
- It's gone.
- What is this?
- Time to dance, boys.
You are under arrest.
For what?
Assaulting an officer
in the execution of his duty.
We never touched you.
Ramon. Cool it, man. Take it easy.
My balls!
- What the fuck?
- Jack, help me!
- Why are you doing this? Why?
- No need...
- Hey, Ramon.
- Why?
Who told you to empty that container?
- No idea.
- We thought...
- Please.
- All right, okay.
- Jack, save me.
- What are you doing?
Talk, or he'll just keep going.
- Enough.
- I see the light. I see Jesus.
- Well?
- I can see Jesus.
- The Bukharis.
- What?
The Bukharis.
The Bukharis.
At the Driftkikker,
a karting track on the north side.
Bullshit. The Bukharis
are Rotterdam's biggest coke runners.
About time too.
Off to bed with you.
Are you gonna tell our mother?
Go to school tomorrow,
and I'll keep quiet.
Fine.
But remember.
You owe me one.
- Ramon, thanks. Take it easy.
- Thanks.
Do I even want to know?
Why are we here? Miles away from town?
I'll check out back. You watch the bikes.
Four years of police academy
to end up with this bull
DRIFTKIKKER INDOOR KART TRACK
That shit show
at the port has ramped up the price.
Stop whining, or the deal is off.
You moron.
What the hell?
We're at the fucking Bukhari place.
This kart track is the ideal front
for money laundering.
Garbage, you said.
Garbage, shmarbage. Bro, listen.
The head of the family is Yasmina Bukhari.
She's here.
I can see her.
I'm just gonna take a look inside.
That guy we saw
with the mullet just arrived.
Be careful.
Hold him off. Don't yap at me.
- Over and out.
- Ramon? Damn.
Wow, seriously?
Wait.
No, nothing.
I can get the stuff to you tonight.
Yes. Excellent. Yo.
Water, please.
We don't sell water, man.
DETERGENT (COLOR),
EGGS, CHICKEN BREASOne water.
AM UNDER DESK
LURE BUKHARI AWAY FROM HERE
Could I speak to the manager, please?
You see, I've witnessed an infraction.
And what infraction might that be?
Just now, I walked past the go-kart track,
and I tasted gasoline in my mouth.
That's not okay around kids.
Ms. Bukhari, could you come to the front?
Good day.
I was unaware CSOs could drink
while on duty.
It's water.
Have a nice day, ma'am.
I gotta go.
That's a coincidence.
What do you want, fucking CSO?
ID check.
Papers, please.
Yo, amateur. Bukharis coming your way.
Up to wild stuff, man?
You wanna go wild?
Do you think that's smart?
Shooting an officer on duty?
So what? Huh? What?
Livestream, 24/7.
- Coo.
- Freeze! Don't move.
Hey, Ramon.
- Shouldn't you be in school?
- School? It's Saturday, man.
Or else we'll see...
Man, watch it.
Out of my way!
Damn.
Sorry, man. Bye.
I know you.
Out of my way, folks! Move.
I love Trkiye.
- What did you do to Kevin?
- Who the fuck is Kevin?
- My brother.
- You're that crazy CSO!
- Leave me alone!
- Shit!
For the last time.
What did you do to my brother?
Crazy CSO.
Come on out. Come on, buddy.
What the fuck is this? Hey.
That CSO is insane.
- Where are you going?
- I'm off.
You're staying, or I'll throw you
off that bridge again.
- Where's the coke?
- Coke?
- Tell us...
- Crazy CSO!
- We stick to the rules.
- What rules? Whose rules?
If I tell you, I die.
I swear.
Beat it.
It's not the Bukharis.
They got robbed too.
This is a fucking gang war, my friend.
Sounds dicey.
- Strictly a CI job, got it?
- Bro.
Do you see Criminal Investigations here?
Are they here?
I don't see 'em. Know what I see?
I see Jack. I see Ramon.
We're in it together, bro.
We only have each other.
So what will it be?
Will you help me find my brother's killer?
Yes or no?
Okay. If I help you
You have to promise me something. Wait.
- Think before you act.
- Think. I will. Okay.
Before you act.
- Act.
- And
- You listen to me.
- Listen.
Think, listen,
all the stuff you just said.
You know why?
You're my partner!
Bad CSOs for life!
Let's go.
Come on.
First, we thought
we had the Bukharis by the balls.
But they were fucked over too. So...
Hey, I'm in charge here.
There's beef. Beef.
The Bukharis have got beef.
Who's the beef with? That's the question.
Now, seizing illegal fireworks...
The Bukharis' biggest competitor is Smits,
the car dealer on Keverdijk.
They've been gunning for the top spot.
They did that rip deal in October.
You're not going after Smits, are you?
Can we get back to our own jobs?
Illegal fireworks.
So Smits.
That is some solid intel.
- Excellent work, guys. You...
- Ramon.
- You did me proud. Let's go.
- Bomba, Ramon.
Hey, my bike.
Yeah, man. We found it.
We? Me. You wanted to sell it
and buy a kebab with the proceeds.
Aren't we here together
to give him his bike?
By the way.
I wanted to say sorry.
About your brother, you know?
That's awful.
We are warriors.
And we are men. Men don't cry, right?
We men are courageous, like warriors.
What, "us men"?
You were crying all through Frozen.
I saw you.
Me, crying? No, it was the gluten.
I eat too much gluten. I well up.
You eat too much. That's it.
Anyway, yesterday was the shit, man.
It was just like the movies.
You jumped. It was tight.
- All of it.
- Amazeballs.
Guys.
Thank you for returning my bike.
- Shouldn't you be in school?
- School? It's Sunday.
Anyway, you have homework to do.
I need to take care of stuff.
Do your best, guys.
Weird shit.
To be clear. We're going to observe Smits.
- Have a little look around?
- No way.
The three rules of a stakeout
are observe it, log it, and
Like, not be a total moron.
If we just grab this...
Hey, listen.
Just follow my lead, and it'll be fine.
Why are we always following your lead?
Why never my lead?
- I have great ideas.
- You do not lead.
Pretend you're writing a fucking ticket.
Why pretend?
We're CSOs. I've already written a few.
Why are you writing tickets?
We have to pretend.
- They were parked illegally.
- Yes, on your head.
That guy was at the raid.
- How do you know?
- His shoes.
They were in the report.
Come on. Fuck, man.
SMITS CAR DEALERS
- Come on.
- How much longer? I...
- Shut the fuck up.
- I did leg work at the gym.
It hurts. I'm cramping up.
You have beefy calves. I don't.
Smits, where are you?
I needed that.
Are you seriously wearing shorts?
The Poles are in. It's on tonight.
At 10:00 p.m. Grasshopper and rat.
Should I bring the boys?
As many as you can.
These Nazis are sketchy.
Nazis?
Poles weren't Nazis.
Nazis invaded Poland. In 1939.
Ground troops with air support.
I don't fucking care.
We gotta move that shit.
- No problem. So the Poles...
- Nico.
At 10:00 p.m. Grasshopper and rat. Got it?
And turn up sober, for God's sake.
- Sorry, okay?
- Yeah.
In your shorts.
Right.
Hey, can I say something?
Yes.
You smell kind of nice.
No Diddy, but you smell nice.
Rat and grasshopper?
The fuck is that?
- I know.
- Huh?
No, that was a fairy tale, I guess.
Hello, jerk and jack.
Are you ordering or waiting for the tram?
Blijdorp Zoo.
- Of course.
- Uh-huh.
That's it.
That's where kids go
to see grasshoppers and rats.
Genius.
Rat and grasshopper?
I know where you need to go.
Oh, yes. Around the corner
from my ex Anita.
That ho.
She left me for some exotic pet.
She always wanted to go on safari
but had no cash.
Now she lives in the Afrikaanderplein.
Not to be mean, but her sliding doors
have let through more dudes
than your average refugee center.
Chef. Rat.
We don't sell any.
Try De Chinese Boot. They have everything.
Oh, I guess you mean the address.
- Count to ten, I said.
- I did, running over here.
Multitasking, partner. Check.
Come on, let's go.
The grasshopper.
Yeah, keep walking.
Like a rat wheel, only bigger.
Keep going.
Until 2012, there used to be
a waste incinerator here. Take this.
The guy bought the lot
and turned it into an amusement park.
- After all these years...
- Nico.
Shit. I feel naked without a gun, man.
Just imagine they're naked too.
When I'm nervous,
I imagine them in the nude.
- Don't you do that?
- Stop dicking around.
Only when I'm nervous.
- That them?
- No, that's the coast guard.
Of course that's them, idiot.
Finally, some real criminals.
We finally apprehended
the Kieboomplein crew.
Fireworks? Huh?
They have automatic weapons,
and you bring fireworks?
- Why are you so late?
- He wanted to go by Keileweg.
To check for prostitutes.
What? That's no longer
a red-light district.
I wanted her
to get a feel for the old days.
Why would I want that?
Duh. Sex workers are people too.
Women sticking together and all that?
What's women's lib coming to?
All done?
I mean, it was nasty
but special all the same.
- Bruno.
- Guys. They have automatic weapons.
I'll call my old team for backup.
Too late. They're done.
If the coke's gone, we have no evidence.
Okay, I need to think.
I have a plan. Listen.
You go that way and wait for my signal.
- What signal?
- Go. It'll be obvious.
Okay, hang on. Listen.
I think I should do this. Okay.
Cover me.
Police! You are surrounded!
On your knees!
Hands on your motherfucking heads!
Ramon's over there.
No, put it out.
Come here.
- Hey.
- I'm going.
You're not armed, man.
Shit. He is fucking armed.
Crazy CSO.
Dad would've been so proud of you.
Stop, or I'll shoot.
Drop your gun! Turn around!
- Drop your fucking gun!
- Easy.
Look at me.
You killed my brother, Kevin Pinas.
- Kevin? But...
- Hey. Put that away.
CSOs? For real?
Brabander heads are hard.
We don't hit suspects anymore.
Is this how it is now?
Even in the old days,
we never used to hit the face.
That's too obvious.
We would hit
Or this.
I get it. Oh, I get it now.
I get it! Now you've done it.
This one's for Kevin.
- Stop him.
- Take it easy.
He was one of my best guys.
What did you say?
He gave me intel, and in exchange,
I topped up his pension fund.
What?
It's a bit rich,
me having to clean up your dirty mess.
- I'm happy to...
- No.
You stay there and don't touch anything.
And please die. Slowly. You too.
Come on. We have ten minutes.
You all right?
Yeah, sure.
Don't be down in the dumps.
I know just what you need.
A stroll down Keileweg.
- Or Turkish soup.
- Jack.
What happened
back there in the haunted house?
Kevin was corrupt.
He took bribes from Smits.
Not bad, man.
A bit yellow though.
I
I knew someone was corrupt, but
Not that it was him.
Why did he have to die?
Why the fuck did he have to die?
Maybe he knew too much.
He was lying to me all this time.
He never said anything to me.
Nobody.
None of his colleagues said anything.
Someone must have known, right?
The last time he was here,
he was standing where you are.
We locked eyes.
I was so proud of him.
I looked up to him.
Be the one people look up to, okay?
You don't owe anyone.
Not your brother.
Yes?
Or even your father, okay?
You control your own destiny, man.
Like you?
Maybe, but
I look a hell of a lot better.
We only have each other, huh?
- Are you okay?
- No. You?
Same.
Check, man. Check.
Do they think they can get away
with blowing up two CSOs? No way.
Calling all CSOs south side.
Code red.
Black Volkswagen Golf,
registration HV-Z41-K.
In sight.
- You can't dump stuff here!
- Just watch me!
Black Golf on Wildzang,
heading to Zonnehof.
Volkswagen located. Suspect fleeing.
Wait. He's headed downtown.
I got him. In pursuit.
Suspect left vehicle.
Now entering building around the back.
POLICE
So this guy tries to blow our heads off
and turns himself in right away?
That shit's sketchy as hell.
- No, it's much worse than that.
- What?
The kingpin is her.
King Willem-Alexander is blowing us up?
With Mxima helping?
Not the king. Chief De Koning.
- What?
- Yes, I knew it.
And you never thought,
"Let me clue in Ramon"?
I wasn't sure, man.
"Dear Ramon. While I am not certain,
my chief is probably
trying to blow our heads off!"
Four seconds. The fuck do we do now?
What? Put that away.
Fine.
Have you seen De Koning?
Why?
As funny as it sounds,
she just tried to blow us up.
Boom. Get it? Sorry.
Sorry, bro, I'm all jacked up.
A
A hand grenade.
A hand grenade.
Do I need to repeat everything?
Just so I understand.
Why don't you start at the beginning?
Never mind.
Come on, guys.
We're going for a drive. Come along.
Where are we going, man?
Hey, Guido. Don't we need an alibi?
Man, the alibi was plan A. Which failed.
We're on plan B now. Try to keep up, dude.
Why the fuck do you look so confused?
I thought we were done for the day.
I just popped a pill.
Hurry, I have a party to go to.
You're kidding, right?
I don't want to know this.
You said you'd take care of it.
- I'm sorting it out now! What the fuck?
- Don't yell!
Smooth operation.
Back among the living? Awesome.
I guess you guys are bonding
over being corrupt.
This is exactly why we never follow you.
Sneering as if
you're better as the rest of us.
Than the rest of us.
My brother. Kevin.
Was he also part of your crew?
That guy wanted to blow up
the entire operation.
Fuck him.
All of a sudden, he wanted to do right.
You won't get away with this, dumbo.
Man, we're covered on all sides.
De Koning, right?
Of course not.
She's dumber than her own snatch.
Our cover comes from a higher level.
Way higher. Literally.
Don't worry.
You'll be joining your partner Kevin
in no time.
And you'll be with your brother.
Oh, he never mentioned that?
That Jack and Kevin were partners?
Ramon, I can explain.
He was lying right next to him
when I blew your brother's brains out.
Gentlemen, please fold your hands.
And pray.
Pray.
Dear Lord, please receive these folks
and open your pearly gate when they enter.
These folks have sinned.
But just as we have sinned,
so shall we atone for our sins.
Fuck.
Shoot.
You can't, can you?
I love you, man.
No, I'm sorry. I love you guys.
Jack, please.
Gun.
Hey, get his gun.
Look.
- Jack.
- Shut up.
Hey. Gun!
Go!
Kneel!
Criminal Investigations.
Jackson Kint
requesting backup on Mathenesserlaan.
Received. Units are en route
to Mathenesserlaan. Over.
Who the fuck are you?
Hit me.
"Hit me"?
What do you think this is? A movie?
I lost my brother.
I believed you.
There's only one coward here.
And that's you.
Never part ways
in the middle of an argument.
Hey. Are you here too?
Scoot.
I told you to stay away from this case.
I'm glad you didn't listen.
Although it's embarrassing
that it took a CSO to solve the case.
Your transfer is annulled.
Welcome back. Congrats. Yay.
Any news about Guido?
Nothing.
We'll find him. Don't worry.
Are you okay?
I think I'm going to quit.
Being a CSO.
Quit? You are never quitting this gig.
- You think so little of me?
- No.
Your heart is in this job.
What good is that?
The criminals enjoy protection
from the highest level.
What's the highest up in Rotterdam?
The Euromast?
- Not like...
- Zalmhaven Tower.
- Always one-upping me.
- Am not.
- You mean the Van der Vloed Tower.
- Jesus, Bruno.
But this here is the only tower
that matters.
Bruno? Would you mind
covering that up with a towel?
Of course. Since you asked so politely,
I will gladly do so.
Bruno? Van der Vloed Tower, you said?
Yeah, it's under construction.
We kept running into that guy.
Send the motherfucking elevator down.
I need to get off the street.
Hey, I swear. You are...
Hey, stop.
Calm down.
They all start exploding,
and these guys are firing like madmen.
We're trapped. There's no way out.
Anyway, luckily,
we all survived in the end.
You all experienced something horrific
that caused you trauma.
You will need counseling.
The municipality won't pay for that,
so it's up to me.
- What trauma? In Trkiye, we make soup...
- Not now.
Nobody died. Except for some guys
in the other division that we hardly knew.
How are you holding up, Bren?
I wasn't there.
You had a traumatic experience though.
And we talked about it.
It was about your father.
No, about your dog. I'm getting confused.
Let's leave it at that.
This is just an example.
Bruno, hug her.
- What?
- Just give her a hug.
You must've had a woman in your arms.
Yes, but never like this.
Beef broth.
Shinbones and knee bones,
simmered for 24 hours.
- My door is always open.
- Hey, is Ramon around?
- Why are you here?
- Where's Ramon?
Checking something out.
What do you need him for?
I need to explain stuff.
- What's he checking out?
- Something way up high.
I mentioned Van der Vloed Tower,
and he ran out.
Exactly like that.
Towers are where it all goes down.
Connect the dots, and the circle connects.
Although the Earth is still flat.
Did I tell you to bring a plus-one?
Why in the hell would you bring him here?
- Not my idea.
- I can't be dealing with this.
- Sort it out.
- All right. Leave it to me.
I punched him in the gut, grabbed him,
kicked him. He fell. It was insane.
Weddings, man.
Just stick it out. We go way back.
It's fire, you know?
Jack, Criminal Investigations.
CSO Jack.
What? Where did you get my number?
We got arrested.
They have our deets.
I can hear you guys.
What do you want from us?
Ramon needs your help.
- Ewa, Jack? Recognize your old ride?
- Paint job, the works.
Hey, man.
Faster, man.
Hey, what do you think you're doing?
Are you blind? Can't you see?
It's a sandcastle for your mom.
We're building the tallest tower
in the Netherlands.
Get to work, lazy moochers.
Now you're getting them involved?
Hey, get lost.
Hey, what's going on here?
Put your gun down.
I want to check your license.
You've been busted, little bitch men.
Everybody goes home, right?
No need to call the cops.
I'm through with Smurfs.
You will reign supreme north of the river,
while you will control the south.
If either of you crosses the river,
I will see to it
that neither of you
gets even a gram of product.
And all this shit
between the two of you ends right now.
If you keep things civil,
there will be plenty for all of you.
I am a peace-loving guy.
But if you don't cooperate,
I will have you killed.
Yes.
Yes, I will have you killed.
Is that clear?
Excellent. I hope I will
never have to see any of you ever again.
Guido, make sure that
that little problem gets taken care of.
What are you looking at?
Hang on. Guido, Van der Vloed,
Bukhari, and Smits all work together.
And you just walk in, all relaxed?
Not a care in the world, all by yourself?
And it never occurs to you
that perhaps you should...
What is this?
I'm here to save your fucking life.
Get the fuck out of here. Fucking CSOs.
Come on, then. Here. Shoot me.
Come on. Shoot.
Look at me while I'm talking to you.
I will come
to haunt your dreams every night.
I am the Brenda Kruger killer!
I'll come over.
I'm there. I got it, everybody!
- Whoa.
- On the ground.
We got him.
Sorry, bro.
Apprehend everybody
who leaves the building.
Yeah?
We're in this together, right?
- Why does this dude always hit people?
- Come on.
Go on.
- I'll catch the next one.
- Even better.
Stupid guy.
Taxi driver.
You want me to work with them?
I can't be seen after the shooting.
And I can?
Teaming up with you was a mistake.
Listen. I have a plan.
Van der Vloed can help us out.
We frame him for the murder.
Wait. What murder?
This one.
For starters.
Enjoy the view while you can, man.
You here?
Why can't I get rid of you?
Because we're CSOs.
Completely savage officers, my friend.
No, that's not what it means.
He's new, still in training...
Third time's the charm.
- Van der Vloed, cut me a deal.
- What deal?
Why would I?
Or else explain the body by the elevator.
And the two soon to be out there.
Guido, there's no point
to what you're trying to do.
You know why?
We have it all on camera.
No!
Shakir, that's the bodycam.
I want a chopper to the Bahamas
and a new identity.
A new car.
A new nose and a new girlfriend.
Handle this for me, will you?
Say hello to your brother.
Man! You're more trouble than Kevin!
What are you doing?
Jack, look here.
Everybody around you dies, man.
Hey, come on!
Guys... Whoa!
I am fucking wrecked.
Are you taking a spa day?
- Are you okay?
- Can he still walk, or what?
No. He's done.
If it's important, do it yourself.
No. I got it.
Listen. You can still go back.
It's not too late.
Did your mother never teach you
to stop before bad stuff happens?
There is a way back.
You just don't get it.
I know you.
I hear you.
I see you.
- Get back!
- Take it easy, bro.
There is still hope.
To make this a better world,
we have to work together, baby.
Jack, Ramon, Van der Vloed.
We are a dream team.
Right, Jack? A dream team.
Who says I want that?
Listen up.
It is never too late
to make the right choice.
Just do what your heart tells you to do.
You know it.
Police!
- On your knees! Now! Get down!
- Gun down! Let go of the gun!
No, for real. I'm just done.
I need my own place.
It's time for a home of my own.
- A home of your own.
- Where did I find you? Seriously.
No, Dilan, a home of our own.
As in living together.
The two of us. In a house.
As friends?
Or
- Bruno to Dilan.
- Responding.
- Where are they?
- Where are you guys?
- Is Ramon there?
- Bruno.
Why do I need to go too?
Here they are. Get down, stay low.
You've been secretive all day. What
What are we doing here?
What have you done with this place?
Foosball table? How?
Because you earned it.
How is this No.
How?
You didn't notice, did you?
Isn't it great?
Jack, but how?
When you take down two major drug gangs
in this town, the community is grateful.
Give us a speech.
You prepared this so well.
I had no idea at all.
I love to talk,
but right now I'm speechless. This is
Kevin would have been proud.
I know that. I feel that.
If he were here today, he would be saying
what Dad would say.
We are in it together.
Jack, you do look good in that suit.
Criminal investigations. My dream job.
My uncle was a village constable
in Trkiye.
I got my hands on his gun.
I was four years old.
It went off by accident
and hit Grandpa's left buttock.
So I've got experience with handling guns.
Great. We'll call you.
She won't call.
I bet she will.
So am I to understand
you both wish to stay on as CSOs?
You don't want to return to CI,
and you don't want to join.
No, thanks.
Sorry, chief.
No worries.
- Not fair.
- He was completely offside.
Three points for that, not just one.
But not bad for two old dudes.
- Shouldn't you be in school?
- School?
- It's Sunday. We deserve a day off.
- Yeah.
- Today is Thursday, right?
- It is.
Thirty-second head start?
Subtitle translation by:
Jolanda van den Berg