Already Tomorrow in Hong Kong (2015) Movie Script

Hold on,
i can't hear you.
Okay, that's better.
Where are you guys?
No, I don't--
i don't know where that is.
I-- I don't--
i don't have GPS
on this phone.
Well, can
you just give me
directions from here?
Come on.
You okay?
Yeah. I'm just--
-couldn't help but, uh...
-Yeah. No, no, I'm fine.
I just--
i lost my friends.
And I have
no reception. So...
Where are you headed?
-Um, LAN kwai--
-LAN kwai fong.
-You need directions?
Yeah, that'd be great.
I don't--
I don't have GPS
on my phone.
Yeah, I heard.
So, it's easy.
-You just walk down
these stairs here, okay?
- Take a right on Elgin.
-And you go till
you hit the escalators.
Yeah, mid-level
Okay, what building?
No, they're outside.
Oh, like in the middle
of the street?
It's one of Hong Kong's
most famous sights.
The mid-level escalators.
-It's in all
the guidebooks.
-The mid-level escalators.
-Yeah, okay.
Okay? So you go up
two blocks,
you take a right
on Hollywood.
You know,
i think I'm just gonna--
I'll just ask someone
when I get off the escalators.
-Are you sure?
-Thanks. Yeah,
yeah, yeah.
I mean, I...
I can--
i can walk you there.
Mm, no.
-Thanks, though.
Just down
to the right.
-You lost already?
-Yeah, you know, it's--
it's just pretty
confusing down there.
Well, my offer
still stands.
Are you sure
I'm not taking you away
from anything?
-I don't wanna--
-it's fine.
It's a big
birthday party,
I doubt anyone will
miss me for five minutes.
So let me
just text somebody.
Good to go.
I really appreciate it,
-thank you so much.
-Don't mention it.
Don't mention it.
I'm Ruby,
by the way.
-Nice to meet you,
Ruby by the way.
-I'm Josh.
First time
in Hong Kong?
Uh, yes, it is.
I'm guessing
it's not yours.
No, I live here.
Where you from?
-Ah, cool.
-San Francisco?
-Nope, L.A.
And where
are you from?
-New York.
it's just so cliche
for new yorkers
to hate on L.A.
So have you ever been?
No, I never
saw the need.
What? You got something
against nice weather?
See there's something
very wrong with your city
when the only good thing
you have going for it
is the weather.
Okay, that's not
the only nice thing.
Yeah, I guess.
- If you like earthquakes.
-So this is soho.
-Just like New York.
-And London.
-Buenos Aires.
Apparently you're not a major
city unless you have a soho.
What does this
soho stand for?
South of Hollywood.
I wonder why L.A. hasn't
jumped on that bandwagon--
don't even start.
So what brings
you to Hong Kong?
-What do you do?
-I design toys.
-Well that's cool.
What kind?
Have you ever seen
those stuffed animals
that sing and dance?
My niece is obsessed
with this one toy.
It's a-- it's a beaver,
but it's--
-Justin beaver.
-Oh, my-- you?
-I designed that.
-That's pretty cool.
She's obsessed with one toy
and you designed it.
What else you got?
Um, let's see
i have, uh--
moos like Jagger.
It's a cow.
-Lady ba-ba.
-A sheep?
-A sheep. Mm-hmm.
-Where can i
get one of these?
-Um, I don't know.
If I see you next time
I'll just give you one.
Are you planning on
getting lost around here
in the near future?
Well now I know
who to call.
You don't even know
if I'm taking you
to the right place.
Yeah. My mother did
warn me
about talking
to random strangers,
in a foreign city.
Such oddly specific advice.
She's like that.
She's like a fortune cookie.
So these are
the famous mid-level
Ready for the ride
of your life?
Let's do it.
Technology strikes again.
What do you mean?
They're on a date
and they're just
on their phones.
Yeah, well maybe
they've been going out
for a long time
and they just ran
out of things to say
to each other.
No way. They're
on their third date,
at most.
-How do you know?
-The way they're dressed.
I'm sorry,
what are you talking
What were you saying?
Oh wait,
so I actually
make a left here.
Yeah, we go down here,
and then you we down peel.
-And then...
Right, you know what?
I'm gonna be okay.
I'm gonna--
i don't wanna take up
any more of your time.
Yeah, I guess I should--
should get back.
Nice to meet you.
Yeah, it was nice
to meet you too.
Thanks very much.
- Bye.
Hey, you know what?
Another 10 minutes
is not gonna hurt.
-Yeah, I should make sure
you get there.
What a gentleman.
I just don't want
to be accused of anything
in case you go missing.
Wow, that was really creepy.
I'm sorry.
-So creepy.
I take it too far.
So what do you do here
in Hong Kong?
Nothing as exciting
as designing toys,
that's for sure.
Come on.
What do you do?
I don't wanna bore you.
All right,
I'll guess then.
Uh, you're an expat
in Hong Kong
so I'm thinking...
Trust fund baby?
What? Jesus, no.
All right.
So you're in finance.
I know we're not
the most popular people
in the world right now.
Oh, I feel
so sorry for you.
Trust me, I'd rather be doing
something creative like you.
Like what?
Like writing, actually.
Oh, what did you
study in college?
I was a double major,
i-- i-- studied business
and English lit.
So what happened?
I guess my practical side
won out.
I got my mba.
But now,
whenever anybody asks me
what I do for a living,
I feel the need
to follow it up with,
but I did study literature
in college.
Yeah. I get that.
It's not like
i went to school
to design toys.
How did you
become a toy designer?
Well, out of design school
I thought I was gonna
be the next Vera wang,
but I quickly realized
that it is much easier
finding a job
designing toys.
-Still want to do
something with fashion?
-Oh yeah, definitely.
You know, but instead
of designing my own label,
I think I'd love to own
my own boutique
and-- and be able to curate
all my own pieces.
-You got pretty good style
what's stopping you?
Student loans.
Rent. The need to eat
on a regular basis.
Eating is
highly overrated.
Coming from a guy
who probably has caviar
for breakfast.
No, I have cocaine
for breakfast.
-Caviar is like a--
a late afternoon snack.
So do you still write
on the side?
-I'm working on a novel.
-Oh, you're a novelist.
I think you have
to finish the book
before you call yourself
a novelist, but--
kind of.
What's it called?
Do you really wanna know?
I just keep asking
you questions
because I love
hearing the sound
of my own voice.
You're kind of sassy,
you know that?
It's uh--
it's called,
"living on Hong Kong time."
You mean,
living on jet lag time?
I had this boss
when I was living
in New York,
and he said, uh,
"let's hustle people,
it's already tomorrow
in Hong Kong."
And that phrase--
that phrase like
really stuck with me
because it's
so fast paced here,
it really
is already tomorrow.
-Guess what?
It's still
yesterday in L.A.
That's funny.
It's probably very true too.
I think if you gave it
a solid chance,
you'd really
like it there.
Yeah, I hear
the weather's amazing.
So what's it about?
It's a far-fetched story
about an American expat
living in Hong Kong,
and all his misadventures.
Hmm, I've always been
intrigued with expats.
I mean they always gave
the impression
that living abroad
is so glamorous,
but when my grandparents
immigrated to the states
from Hong Kong,
their journey
was anything but glamorous.
And what makes
them immigrants,
and you expats?
Well, I guess expats
are living abroad temporarily,
and an immigrant
is there to stay.
Okay. So how long
have you been in Hong Kong?
-10 years.
Do you have any plans
to move back to New York
any time soon?
-Okay, so...
A white investment banker
living abroad is an expat,
and a Chinese
restaurant worker
living in arcadia
is an immigrant?
I guess I never really
thought about it that way.
It just kind of ironic,
that my, like,
grandparents worked
so hard
to give us a better life
in the states,
and yet here we are.
We're all just flocking
back to Asia.
It's like most
of my friends here.
The far east movement.
This is really pretty.
Yeah, so these are like,
the last four remaining
gas lamps in the city.
-Oh, cool.
This is the first
Starbucks in Hong Kong.
Try that. Ready?
Let's try.
Do you guys want me
to take a photo for you?
Yeah, that'd be so great,
thanks so much.
Yeah, no worries.
-There you go.
-Thanks again.
Did you want a photo?
-Um-- no, we just met--
-yeah, let's get a photo!
-Come on.
It'll be fun.
-Sure. Thank you.
Right by the gas lamps.
-Say cheese.
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
-All right,
have a good night.
-Thank you.
It's pretty cute.
Yeah. It's not bad.
-I mean, I look good.
-I was just gonna say,
you messed up the shot.
I messed up
the shot?
-See that?
That's my office
right there.
Oh. You work inside
the bank of China building?
No, no.
This is the h.S.B.C.
That right there,
that's the bank of China
-Please let me buy
you a guidebook.
It almost makes it worth
being a banker.
All those lights on
in the offices,
it's 11:00
on a Friday night.
Those are all
people working.
It's not as glamorous
as it looks.
Guess not.
So how long have you
been in finance for?
Basically the entire time
that I've lived here.
-That's a long time.
-Uh, yeah.
Do you not like it
very much?
Well, it's all fun and games
until someone
a global recession.
Oh, look at that.
They're so cute.
- Should we photobomb?
- -Yeah, let's do it.
Not to be confused
with dragon's back,
which is a hike.
-I should write
a tour guide book.
Yeah, you should.
You're very knowledgeable.
And this is LAN kwai fong,
right across the street.
-Oh, wow.
I'm really surprised
you got me here
in one piece
-oh, you're surprised?
Oh, god.
I'm sorry, I'm not--
it's all right.
I'm not used to people
driving on the wrong
side of the road.
Well, here it's
the right side.
Come on.
-Wow, you saved me.
-I saved your life.
-Thank you.
-Yeah. You owe me.
-This is crazy.
-Yeah it's pretty much
like this every night.
So, which bar
are your friends at?
Uh, club 97.
Oh god. That's like,
that's right around here.
Oh, god.
Now I remember
why I never come here.
A little insane,
i know.
And, um,
all right,
you see that--
that neon sign,
the purple neon sign?
-hey, Josh?
I had a really great time
getting lost with you
Yeah, me too.
And, you know, like,
I'm gonna see my friends
in the morning
and I was thinking
maybe we could just
grab a drink
together instead.
-Oh, um--
-or, not.
If you have to go,
I mean...
No, yeah.
I'd love to grab a drink.
Should we just go to one
of these joints?
No, no, these are
cheesy tourist places,
you don't want this.
Okay, so where do you
want to go?
Let's get out
of the depths of hell.
Come on.
Oh wow, this is great.
It works for you, right?
Are you sure this isn't
too civilized for you?
Well, if you hate him so much
why don't you just quit?
Okay, what would I do
for money?
Um, write.
It's a hobby,
no one's gonna pay me
to write.
How can you fail
with that kind of attitude?
Well, I did tell myself
at the eight year mark
i was gonna quit,
but it's hard, you know,
you get accustomed
-to a certain lifestyle
Sex, drugs,
and Gucci suits.
It's actually, sex, drugs,
and number crunching,
-but, it was close--
I keep telling myself
every year,
this is--
this is the year
I'm gonna save enough money.
But at the end
of the year,
you get that bonus check,
and then you're sucked
right back in.
Those high-class
problems, huh?
You gotta suck it up.
You've gotta stop
being a wuss,
I mean, when are you
one hundred percent ready--
ever ready,
to do anything?
You know,
you've worked so hard
for this safety net.
So, if you want
to take some time off
to write this book,
then you've earned that.
You're absolutely right.
I'm always right.
Excuse me.
-I'm gonna use
the ladies room.
I'll see you soon.
Ready for another round?
I would love to,
but actually I need to
get back to the party.
I get it.
Your friends
are probably waiting.
and my girlfriend's
there too, so.
Your girlfriend?
Yeah, probably should
get back.
Thanks for the drinks.
Wait, Ruby,
hold on.
You okay?
Of course I am.
Why wouldn't I be?
You sure?
Let me
just get this right.
You left your girlfriend
at a bar
so you can come
to another bar
with another girl?
It was a big
birthday party.
It's not like
i left her alone.
Oh, okay. That totally
makes it okay then.
I could have lied to you
right now,
but I didn't.
No, you should have just
told me earlier.
What was I supposed
to say?
Oh, sure, I'll walk you
to your friends,
but by the way,
i have a girlfriend?
I didn't ask you
if you have a boyfriend.
Do you--
-do you have a boyfriend?
Because if I did,
i wouldn't be here
right now.
I wasn't planning
on this, okay?
I don't do this type
of thing ever.
I'm trying to apologize.
If I misled you
in any way, I'm sorry.
It's fine.
I'm leaving tomorrow,
don't even worry
about it.
Well, I mean,
should we exchange
contact information now?
Or how does this--
what do we do?
-I don't know--
how does this work?
God, I feel really bad
for your girlfriend.
Don't. Okay?
This was such innocent stuff
compared to what she was doing
back at the bar.
She was flirting
with a bunch of aussies,
taking shots,
completely embarrassing me.
Whose birthday was it?
This night
just gets better,
and better.
-That sounds worse
than it really is.
You know,
i have to say,
thank you for a really
interesting night.
- Josh.
-I-- i-- wow.
I can't believe
that it's you.
How are--
-how are you?
-how are you?
-I'm good.
-Good, good.
-What are you doing here?
I, um--
I'm just picking up
some clothes in kowloon.
No, I mean,
what are you doing
in Hong Kong?
Oh. I--
i actually live here now.
- Really?
- -Yeah.
-Yeah, I got a promotion.
-Well, congrats.
-Thank you.
Yeah, the tradeoff was i--
i had to come live here
for a year, so,
here I am.
I can't believe you--
wait, you live here,
in Hong Kong?
I'm sorry, should I have
notified you first?
Yeah, I thought that next time
we were gonna see each other,
you were gonna give me
a lady ba-ba.
Oh, god,
i really hope you weren't
holding your breath
since last year.
You know,
i should apologize
about last year.
About that--
oh, don't even--
don't even worry about it.
It was-- it's fine.
It's not a big deal.
No, I was--
i was kind of a jerk.
Yes, you were.
A big jerk.
All right,
all right.
God, I have to know,
how mad was your girlfriend
when you finally
showed up to that bar?
Yeah, well,
she wasn't happy,
that's for sure.
Yeah, I bet.
Did you guys
work things out?
Are you asking
if we're still together?
Nah, why don't we just hang out
for a couple hours,
and then you can just
surprise me later.
-It's more dramatic that way.
-Yeah, fair enough.
I deserve that.
I deserve that.
Yes. Yes,
we're still together.
Oh, good for you.
Good for you.
So, how about you?
Are you seeing anyone?
Yeah, I am.
I am.
You let me ride the ferry
with you this whole time
you didn't mention,
not once,
-that you had a boyfriend.
-Yeah, I guess we're even now.
-Did you meet him here, or--
-no, no. Back in L.A.
-Yeah, he's in L.A.
-So it's long distance, then?
-Yeah, it is.
Yeah, well, you know,
I'm only doing this for a year.
So, I figured
if we can weather this,
we can weather anything.
I'm sorry,
i can't believe--
I never ride the ferry,
-this is crazy.
-Yeah, this is weird.
-It's weird, right?
-It's weird. I--
it's weird.
I never go to cat lune.
So, it was really good
running into you.
-I'm like,
-i was really glad
we got to catch up
-uh-huh. Definitely.
So-, hah,
where are you off to now?
-I'm picking up clothes.
-Oh, right. Right.
-Chungking mansion.
You need
me to come with you?
No, I think
i can handle it.
-Are you sure?
-Yeah, yep, I've got a GPS now.
-No, I mean--
that's a sketchy area.
Look, I think your boyfriend
would want me to go with you.
I'd be doing him a solid.
Minding the perimeter,
and shit.
If you must.
-It's this way.
-Yeah, that's---
I just thought I'd dropped
something back there.
Yeah-- no. Totally.
Oh, did you see that guy?
-That guy--
that bleeding guy.
What are you talking about?
Are you sure
we're in the right place,
'cause most of these tailor
shops are on the ground floor.
Yeah, we're right here.
Um-- sorry...
I-- I'm here
to pick up a suit.
You really didn't see
that guy?
So, who's the suit for?
Are we picking up a suit
for your boyfriend?
-You said you wanted to come.
-What's his name?
-Suit not ready.
-Wait, what?
-Suit not ready.
-No, no, no, no, I called
this morning,
and you said it'd
be done today.
Sorry, suit not ready.
Next week, come back.
Your suit will be ready
this weekend,
and you're getting
a 15% discount.
Thank you.
- What was that?
- -What?
That was amazing.
I didn't know you could speak
cantonese so well.
Hey, I told you
that'd come in handy.
It's so weird watching
you speak Chinese.
It's weird watching
you speak English.
-Whatever, that's different.
-How is it different?
It's different because
i grew up in the states.
Well, I spent the last
ten years of my life here.
It's still weird.
No, only because
i don't speak any Chinese.
Yeah, well, if it makes
you feel any better,
I don't speak a lick
of yiddish.
My grandmother thinks
that's mashugana.
What does that mean?
I have no idea.
Okay. Well,
i should probably get going.
-But, thank you.
-Yeah, all right.
Hey, I um...
I got-- I gotta be at
this thing in a few hours,
but I've got
some time to kill.
-oh, no...
You don't even know
what I was gonna say.
Um, yeah.
It started to sound
eerily familiar.
One drink.
Totally platonic.
Fine, fine.
But only because...
You got my boyfriend
a discount.
-That's all it takes?
-My boyfriend...
A really good discount.
I mean,
look at this here.
- Is this where
you take all the ladies?
When I'm not haggling
for their boyfriend's menswear,
yes. Yes.
This is--
this is where
i take the ladies.
Oh, it's super swanky.
-Don't worry,
I'll pay for it
-Using the good, old
expense account?
-I wish.
You know,
technically it's okay,
because I am now officially
a customer of h.S.B.C.
So you can totally
write it off.
Well, I don't have
an expense account.
-I quit my job.
Right after I met
this sassy girl from L.A.
No, you actually
took me seriously?
I'm a pauper now
because of you.
And you're making
me feel bad?
-You want a drink?
-What can I get for you?
Um, I'll take a glass
of rose, please.
Yeah, a vodka redbull.
-Um, can I have
a credit card?
-Oh, yeah.
Oh, no, here, I'll get it.
No, seriously.
-No, no, no, no.
-No, it's my treat.
-No, you got it last time.
I mean, that's a first.
A girl buying me a drink
in Hong Kong.
So you don't have an office
anymore, that's weird.
-No, I don't have an office.
Don't have a secretary,
I just work at home.
-Cheers to that.
-Cheers to this.
Even though
i only said one drink.
But, I'm just
trying my best to--
-to treat it
like a day job, you know?
-What do you mean?
Like I clock in
at the same time every day.
You know,
i put the hours in.
And do you ever get
writers block?
I read somewhere
that if you're blocked,
that just means
you're writing about
the wrong things.
It looks like
someone's been googling
quotes about writers block
instead of actually writing.
I mean, who knows
what will happen.
How many unpublished books
are out there
-just waiting to be ignored.
-Don't do that.
-Don't do that.
You should be proud
of yourself.
You took a chance,
and you went for it.
You know?
You're never gonna
have to look back
and wonder "what if."
You know, I always knew
we'd be great friends someday.
Don't get too ahead
of yourself.
Let's see how the rest
of the night pans out first.
No way.
I'm not taking that risk.
-What are you doing?
-I'm facebooking you.
-What is your last name?
--What is it?
It's lin.
-Ruby lin?
-Yes, it is.
I like that.
Ruby lin.
Is that you?
-Cute pic.
Facebook friend request
from Joshua Rosenberg.
Your last name
is Rosenberg?
-It is.
Could you be any more Jewish?
Could you be
any more racist?
I'm just joshing you.
Okay, we're not gonna
say that joke again.
-That's an awful joke.
-I've been waiting all night
to say that.
- That's an-- ah.
This is the part where
you hit the "accept" button.
I don't know about that.
I just don't know
if our relationship
is ready to be taken
to the next level yet.
Okay, this is the part
where you hit the button--
-you just hit the button.
-I'm gonna think about it.
-What? Really?
-Yeah, really.
Excuse me.
I have to use
the ladies' room.
So cold.
Ready to go?
I can't wait to stalk you
on Facebook later.
Stalking is okay,
poking is not allowed.
Look at this skyline.
They go all in
on the light show.
It's easy to see why
people fall in love with it.
I just don't think
that I'm in love with it yet.
-All right, let me just bitch
about a couple of things,
-and I'll never
bring it up ever again.
-Okay. Hit me.
I just think the people here
are a little superficial--
that they only care
about money,
or the perception
of having money.
Oh, not everyone.
For example,
our company receptionist
has multiple
Louis vuitton purses,
and I know for a fact,
even though it's none
of my business,
that just one
of those purses
costs more than
her monthly salary.
Well, yeah, she's got her
priorities straight.
She doesn't even have
her own apartment.
She lives with her parents,
she's 35.
That's a cultural thing,
And when you're saving
money on rent,
you can buy purses.
It's always raining
at the worst times possible.
And there's like a random
typhoon every other week.
Yeah, but if it's a signal 8,
you get off work.
-I miss netflix.
-Just run a vpm program.
And the Mexican food,
ooh, not good.
Yeah, okay,
that one I'll give you.
I mean, we live in a major
Cosmopolitan city
and, yet, they still make nachos
with doritos and yogurt.
Ruby, stop.
Would you look at this?
Look at this.
You're harping about nachos?
I know, but aren't there
just some foods
-that you miss
from back home?
What's a good slice,
every now and then?
But dim sum?
It's so much better.
-Maybe I'm just homesick.
-Maybe you just haven't been
to the right places.
Like where?
-Are you hungry?
-I'm always hungry.
All right.
I'm gonna take you
where the locals eat.
there's just one thing,
I can't eat chicken feet.
Like, I've tried.
I've just looked at it--
-all right.
-I can't do it.
We'll save that for another time
when you're ready.
I'm gonna take you to the best
seafood spot in Jordan.
All right.
Are you paying?
Yeah, it's cheap.
I got this.
... a post-it,
or a curling iron, or--
the one that I always
think about is like,
the envelope,
with the little window
on the envelope,
oh, the window on the envelope?
I'm more into the like--
-Nothing. Sorry.
Look, don't--
could you stop being
so judgmental?
-I'm not being judgmental.
-You don't know
if they're a couple.
-They could be like
co-workers or something.
-I'm just--
-really? Do you do
that with your co-workers?
-Oh, yes, actually.
-You do? Of course you do.
-That's a cultural
thing here as well
that you will become
accustomed to.
Do you think anyone
thinks anything of us
when they see us together?
I-- no, I don't--
i don't think that--
You don't think that people
assume that I'm a gold digger?
-A gold digger?
No, if anything,
you're employed,
and you make more money
than me, so,
they'd probably think
you're my sugar mama.
I mean, obviously I make
more money than you,
-but they don't know that.
-"Obviously" you do?
They don't know that.
I just-- I know--
I know I'm being
super judgmental,
I apologize, but,
i-- I can't help it.
I just--
i see couples like this,
and I make assumptions.
And I hate that
i perpetuate the stereotype
even further
by dating a white guy.
-So, Greg's a white guy?
-Who's Greg?
Oh, he's your boyfriend.
You never told me his name
so I just gave him one.
Yeah. Greg.
I like that name.
Yeah, Greg's a white guy.
-So you're one of those
Asian girls, huh?
That only date white guys.
I do not only date
white guys.
Like, the majority
have been white,
- but it's not on purpose.
-It's totally coincidental.
-Oh, no, it's okay.
I've had a few
Asian girlfriends,
and suddenly i--
like, I'm the white guy
with an Asian fetish.
I fucking hate that.
You gotta get used
to couples like this,
it's Hong Kong.
-I know.
-It's east meets west.
They're everywhere.
-You're right.
-All right?
You're right.
There's this couple
in my office--
he's a white guy,
and he's married to this
beautiful Chinese woman,
and when they first
started dating,
he didn't know how to speak
any Chinese,
and she couldn't speak
any English.
So like, the first like,
six dates,
they brought like--
they brought on like--
a translator.
-Could you imagine--
-like a-- like a person?
-Yeah! A translator.
So it was like a table for three
instead of a table for two.
Like, it's so-- awkward.
I felt so bad
for the translator.
I know. There's a couple
like that in my building,
and, they, uh--
everywhere they go,
they-- they get by,
but they use--
they use like, a,
like an app.
-Like a Google
translator app.
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
It's seen that before, too.
Well, do you think
that you'd ever be able
to be in a relationship
like that?
I find it hard enough
to date girls
who do speak English.
How so?
It's-- it's just like,
it's not a language barrier,
but it's like
a cultural barrier.
- Yeah.
-TV shows, movies, music I grew up on,
like it just goes
way over their heads.
Yeah, I feel you
on that one.
It's been really hard
for me to connect,
you know,
with my friends
at that level.
I just want
to be with somebody
who understands
what I'm talking about
when I say, like--
"no soup for you!"
Don't piss off
the soup Nazi.
-It's the best soup
in town.
i had this ex girlfriend,
and I was--
I was trying to watch
"seinfield" with her,
-yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Because I had like,
the DVDs,
and she was like,
"i don't get it,"
it just seems, like,
about nothing.
-And I'm like...
-But that's the whole point.
- Yes.
- -These are cool.
Put it like that.
And you can take,
like, a selfie.
Oh, really?
Here, you ready?
-That's awesome.
I need this in my life.
You know, they said
it was 120 for both.
- 80.
- -No?
- 80.
-She's tough.
We're gonna walk away
empty handed.
That's the thing about
you have to be okay
to walk away.
We'll buy it here
for 120.
How do you do that?
You gotta work on
your negotiation skills.
I'm terrible.
Like, if they say 125,
that really means,
like, 10.
160, 160.
-No, not selling.
-160? 170.
- 180.
150, you're screwing
this whole thing up.
-It feels like the Batmobile.
160. Do you want it?
There's some
cute little trinkets.
Wait, this is...
This is moos like Jagger.
Wait, this is mine,
-You designed this?
-Yes, I did.
Where did you--
where did you get these?
-What are these doing here?
-Very cute.
-Yeah, they are very cute.
I designed them.
-He's totally ripping me off.
-Well, um--
do I call the police?
You can take it
as a compliment.
You know you've made it
when you've been ripped off
in China.
They're cute. Cute.
It's a deal?
-Very cheap.
-They're very cheap.
-Yeah, real cheap.
-Very good.
Yeah, you're right.
It's a silver lining.
-Hey man,
do you have the lady ba-ba?
-Okay, thank you.
-Thank you.
-'Cause I can't find
that anywhere.
We're not gonna
support that.
All right.
This is the place.
Really looking forward
to this fresh crap.
- Don't worry about that.
This is great.
- Thank you.
Oh, my god.
-I love this.
-Told you.
I know.
I was really hesitant first,
but this is--
this is really good.
Mm, it's really good.
-I can see that you like it.
-You know how I can tell?
Because you have it
all over your face.
-Did I get it?
-No. Other side.
-Other side.
-Did I get it?
No. Here.
Hold on.
It's been driving me crazy.
I think I got it.
There you go.
-Thank you.
-I'm sorry.
I'm a messy eater.
Hey, to eat politely
is not to eat at all.
Oh, is that another
Josh quote?
-It is.
Yours truly.
So, do you come here often?
Ah, it sounds like
you're hitting on me.
I used to.
-Not so much anymore.
-Yeah, why not?
I don't know, um, Sam doesn't
really like it that much.
-Sam is your--
-oh, sorry, Sam,
she's, um,
that's my girlfriend.
Sorry. Yeah.
- Yeah.
-Not her kind of place?
-No, not really.
She likes, um,
more like,
Sushi and French places
-with ceilings
and comfortable, seats...
-Air conditioning?
Yeah, air conditioning.
Expensive bills.
Sounds like
a delicate flower.
No, no.
She's um--
she's tough as nails,
She grew up in China,
not-- not poor, but,
kinda poor,
but she managed to--
make her way through college
on a--
on a full scholarship
to u penn.
-That's really impressive.
-Yeah, she's worked really hard
to get to where she's at.
What does she do?
She's a banker.
And how did she take
you quitting your job?
Oh, you know...
-Not so good, huh?
for someone like her
who's worked so hard
for every opportunity,
I think it's difficult
for her to understand
why someone would just
throw it all away.
-Well, you're not throwing
it away, technically.
-Yeah. I know I'm not.
it's an ongoing discussion.
I guess.
All right.
I've had a couple beers,
I'm gonna say something
i usually probably
wouldn't have.
-So please
don't be offended.
I just think
it's a little weird
that she doesn't
why you want
to write, or--
or why she doesn't come
to one of your favorite
Well, do you and Greg
agree on everything?
No, we don't,
but you know,
we've been together
long enough
where we've kind
of ironed out
those important things.
"Those things,"
meaning what?
You know,
it's not just about
likes, or dislikes.
It's about supporting
each other through
your goals and dreams.
She supports me.
I don't want to give you
the wrong impression
that she doesn't
support me.
hat's another thing
i can't seem to get used to.
You get to a place
where you don't even notice.
I can't imagine
not noticing.
Should we get out
of here?
Hey, so-- I'm--
I'm really sorry
about before.
I didn't realize
that you and Sam
were so serious.
We've only been going out
for two years.
-Two years is a long time.
-It's not that long.
It's long enough
for the two of you
to hit
milestones together.
I guess.
Did you guys do the whole
meet-the-parents thing?
She's met mine,
But, you haven't met hers?
They don't know I exist.
It's complicated.
They're not crazy about
their daughter dating a gweilo.
But, no, I mean, things--
things are good with us.
She's got a lot
that she wants to accomplish
Neither one of us
is really ready
to settle down yet.
she's a little younger.
How much younger
is a little younger?
- Does it really matter?
Which birthday
was she celebrating
when we first met?
Yeah. I'm not
that much older, okay.
-Ooh, so typical.
I-- you're-- you're
a decade older,
but that's okay.
So, it's not like I'm one
of these 60-year-old guys
around 20-year-olds.
Yeah, not yet.
But how do you think
it all starts?
what is the right age
that I should
be dating, then?
Let's see--
I would say
if you're 35,
late twenties,
early thirties,
How old are you again?
That has nothing
to do with this
Just-- just curious.
How old are you?
-I'm 30.
How age-appropriate.
Do you know anything
about cantonese opera?
Are they any good?
- I don't know.
These are your people.
This is your
cultural heritage.
-You should know this.
-I don't know anything
about Chinese opera.
from one starving
artist to another,
I should probably
tip her.
Aw, that's very
nice of you.
Thank you.
It's kind of catchy.
Yeah, it's grown on me.
So, when are you gonna
take your own advice
drop the Teddy bears,
and open up a clothing
boutique, huh?
I don't know.
I think I may stick with
singing animals for a while.
You know, for a long time
i held fashion in
such a high regard,
but it was actually
much more difficult
a three dimensional toy
than it is a piece
of clothing.
I just don't think
that I appreciated it
because I didn't really
spend a lot of time
in the factories,
-but now I do.
-Because last year,
you were kind of--
-what? Above it all?
Hmm. Yeah.
- Shut up.
Well, you know,
i used to dream of like,
seeing my designs
at Bergdorf's and barneys,
but, now I get to see it
at every Wal-Mart,
and drug store chain
in the country.
They buy quantity.
This one time,
i was at walgreens,
I saw this father buying
one of my toys
-for his daughter--
It actually, like,
brought a little tear
to my eye.
I know,
it's super cheesy, but--
it's not cheesy,
it's cute.
Hello, hello.
Come, come, come.
My birdy tell you
fortune, okay?
He's a poor
fortune teller.
That's like a--
that's like a tourist trap.
Well, yeah,
it's so awesome.
- Please sit down.
- -Aw.
Shall we speak in French,
Italian, German,
English, American English?
-American English, yes.
Okay. So...
-Uh, lady first. Okay?
What would you like
to know?
health, study, love,
Of course.
All ladies want to know
about now.
- Always.
- -Okay.
- First, you shall
move the cards. Okay?
Because it's your fortune.
I will give it to
the birdy to pick. Okay?
The birdy will decide
your fortune.
I will let the birdy out.
- Oh, hey.
-Oh my god, it's so cute.
-Okay, that's pretty cute.
What's he doing?
He's indecisive.
- Oh.
-Oh my god!
Oh, that was awesome.
I'm impressed.
-So, here is your fortune.
-Oh, thank you.
You read. Okay?
"Love can be likened
to a tree,
"when it is blossoming,
wait for fruit with Patience,
"of course the precondition
of our marriage
is that both of you
have a disposition
for getting along well.
Thank you for
your h.K. 50 dollars."
That's it?
But the birds were cute.
Oh, sorry. No good?
It's good.
Oh, birdy no good?
No, it's fine.
Okay, nevermind.
I tell you fortune,
for real. Okay?
No charge.
You know what?
I'm actually
all fortuned out,
but why don't you do him?
I tell your fortune. Okay?
Tell my fortune.
Okay. Good.
Come here.
I tell your fortune,
from your face.
Oh, okay.
This side doing it?
- My god.
- -What?
Everything okay?
Very big nose.
Is that a fortune,
or is that just like,
a statement?
No, no, no.
Big nose means much money.
- Wow.
- Lots of money.
-Should I be offended by this?
-Not at all.
-It doesn't sound--
-he hasn't even gotten
to your ears yet.
-you have to wait
until you are 40.
Big nose,
much money,
when you are 40.
Until I'm 40,
all right.
Are you married?
Me? No, no, no, no.
I think maybe
come very close.
I think maybe
you're engaged.
I was.
Ah. Too bad. Right?
But never mind.
New love coming.
Yes, thank you.
You can tell all this
by my nose, huh?
No, no.
I can tell it
from the young lady.
And the way you look
at each other.
-You're good.
-Oh, no.
All right.
Well, thank you.
- Good.
- -I-- you have a beautiful nose, as well, sir.
Thank you.
- Much money.
Yeah. Good.
For the birds. Okay?
For the birds.
- Okay.
- -All right.
- Aw, thank you very much.
- Thank you.
- I'll be back when I'm 40.
-Thank you.
- And see if you're right.
-Good luck.
So you were engaged once.
Okay. There it is.
Ten minutes.
I knew you were
gonna ask me.
What happened?
I mean, we don't have
to talk about it--
I don't--
i don't care.
I'll talk about it.
We were young,
and stupid.
We met right after
and we got engaged
three weeks later.
Yeah. She was
an American lit major.
So-- we--
we took a day trip
up to sleepy hollow
and I got one one knee,
right on
Washington Irving's grave.
Aw. That's impulsive
and weirdly romantic.
Then she cheated on me,
with my friend.
-I'm really sorry...
-No, it's-- it's--
-that's awful.
-Actually, it's fine.
It all worked out
for the best.
You know,
i came here
for a job,
I was only supposed
to be here for a year.
Sounds familiar.
11 years later.
Could I end up here
for that long?
Well, you never know,
i guess you don't.
-Is he trying
to Skype you?
-Sorry. No, no,
it's just--
my outlook reminder
for a Skype call later.
Wait, your what?
I know, I know.
It's pretty dorky.
But he likes to send me
an outlook reminder
for our Skype dates.
Wow, that's uh--
because it makes him happy
to see it in his calendar,
Well, I guess
that's pretty sweet.
-It is really sweet.
So how long
have you and Greg
been, uh--
um, five years,
on and off.
-So, when we met you were--
-off, again.
Hey, I don't know.
What's next for you two?
- Oh, sorry.
-Yeah, no worries.
My turn.
Hello? Hey.
Yeah. I'm sorry,
I'm gonna be there.
I just got caught up
with something. Okay.
Okay. Coming.
Sorry. Bye.
It was my friends--
they're-- they're musicians
they're playing
at this little spot
-over in Hong Kong.
-Do you want to come?
-No thanks.
-She's not gonna be there.
-I wasn't thinking that.
Okay, then
forget I said it.
It would be a good
opportunity for you to meet
some new people.
-Come on.
-No, i-- I don't know.
I just--
it would be weird.
You're being weird.
It's practically
on your way home.
Come on.
We'll split a cab.
I'm not being weird.
You're being weird,
let's just go.
It's-- they're a good band.
Fine, only if you can
find a cab.
All right.
-This is weird.
-Everyone knows you can't
find a cross-harbor taxi
at this time.
There's usually
a long line
of taxis here.
Here we go.
-No? Come on.
-See? Told ya.
-Maybe it's a sign.
-A sign of what?
That I should just
take the train home.
No. That's not happening.
We're getting a taxi.
All right,
I'm gonna give you
one more shot.
I'll take those odds.
Here we go.
This is the one.
- Hey, Josh.
- -Hey, man, how are you?
Hey, Josh.
This is Ruby.
-Hi, nice to meet you.
-How's everything
with work?
Tell them I said hello.
-Will do.
-Thank you.
You want a drink?
That would be great.
-What are you having?
-I'll have a beer.
Thank you.
-Here you go.
-Thank you.
-So I want to--
-so, i--
no, you first.
You first.
Your friends are great.
Yeah. Yeah,
they have a residency here.
Oh. It's a cool place.
-It's cool, right?
I'm sorry,
what were you gonna say?
Oh, I wanted to--
I wanted to show you
this picture.
Ten minutes
after we met.
And this got me
into a lot of trouble.
-Oh, yeah?
What happened?
-I told Sam what
happened that night.
And then she saw
this photo three months later.
And she was like--
"well, you didn't tell me
she was that pretty."
She didn't say that.
Thank you very much.
I think we have
a few more songs.
What do you guys
want to hear?
- "Hearts!"
Is that their big one?
-The big one.
Okay. Come on.
Let's go.
Oh, no, no, no, no,
Come on, come on.
Come on.
-How's it going?
-Hey, Monica.
Good, uh--
this is my friend, Ruby.
-Hi, I'm Monica,
Sam's friend.
His girlfriend.
She knows Sam.
What are you doing here?
Uh, we just came here
to see knots and axes,
-with the guys.
-Well it was really good
seeing you.
Yeah, you too.
-Tell Sam I said hi.
-I will.
Good to see you.
Excuse me.
Hey, Josh,
we're taking off.
Oh, you guys
are taking off?
-Why don't you come over
sometime, man?
-Yeah. I will,
i will, I promise.
-And check out the new--
you okay?
i just needed some air.
Sorry about that.
It was pretty awful.
Can I get one of these?
What are we doing?
Smoking a cigarette.
I don't--
i don't know.
What do you mean?
I mean this whole night.
-what are we doing?
I know where you're going
with this, but--
really, we were just
hanging out.
I don't know.
I need to get going.
-Should we split a cab?
-Yeah, that's fine.
-Which address?
-Uh, ridgeview terrace.
I'm on a square street,
Does she appreciate
your stupid quotes?
Does he appreciate
your sassy attitude
all the time?
It goes right over
his head.
That's good, I guess.
- It's not fair for them.
We haven't done anything.
I don't want
to be a cheater.
Neither do I.
But, we're not.
I'm talking about
emotionally cheating,
not just--
all right.
It's hard to define.
You know when you feel it.
Look, I don't think
we should beat ourselves
up over this.
Maybe just by virtue
of the fact
-that we can have
a night like this.
Two nights like this.
Maybe that means
that we should
take a good look
at our relationships
and, I don't know,
re-evaluate them.
-He's coming this weekend.
-Who, Greg?
his name is Daniel.
Daniel, wow.
I was way off.
And he's helping me
pack up.
My year is up next week.
And the suit was...
For our engagement party.
You're engaged?
--I'm sorry.
I know,
i should have told you
sooner, I just--
it's just such
a new thing for me.
I'm not really used
to the idea yet.
You're not wearing
a ring.
We're picking out
one together,
when he gets here.
It's just--
more cost-efficient
that way.
Good, old,
sensible Greg.
Did he propose
over Skype, too?
We discussed it together
as a decision we made.
Very, very romantic.
Not everyone can be
as impulsive as you.
I'm happy for you, Ruby.
I am.
Except now,
i just--
I don't know what I want.
I don't know what I want.
Okay, total--
just, one second.
Right here.
Meter running.
Just keep it running,
it's okay.
What-- what are
you saying, Ruby?
I don't know.
I just--
this night just threw me
for such a loop.
Me too.
I don't want to hurt him.
I don't want to hurt her.