Alvin And The Chipmunks (2007) Movie Script

Oh, it's going... it's going.
And... it's gone.
Whatever!
Maybe we should take a break.
Ouch!
That's it, I can't take this anymore
I can't... I give up.
I'm sick of struggling for survival...
competing with gophers and earthworms, and that
loser Sparrow who always takes my nuts.
And I'm especially sick of this
stupid.. stupid.. tree.
Huh? What's happening?
Guys!
I think he made it angry.
I'm awake
I'm up.
And I'm late.
Demo, Dave Seville.
Keys.
Bag.
Pants.
I need pants, pants are essential.
- Claire?
- Dave.
Hey... how's it going?
I haven't seen you since a...
Well, since you said, you never
wanted to see me again,
- I guess it worked.
- What a fun day that was, huh?
Let me guess, you're late for something again.
- Good old Dave.
- I'm not following you.
You know, the guys that's always fooling around,
who can't handle a serious relationship.
Well, that was the old Dave, how about we get
together and talk about the new Dave over dinner?
- I...
- Tomorrow night, my place.
- I...
- Great.
- No...
- You look good, Claire.
Where are we?
Well, I think they're remodeling the forest.
I like it... stylish, functional.
Where did the nutties go?
Give me a break, we're in the building, Theodore.
- Dave!
- Ian.
Hey, you ever seen the view from the 88th floor?
- No, they never let me passed the lobby.
- What? I can't...
Hey back off man... this is Dave Seville.
Mr. Seville, can I get you some
muffins, scones, pastries?
- No, no... I hate to be a bother.
- Really? It's no bother, we also have an omlet station.
Omlet station.. huh?
Can I get you some water, or Cafe latte?
How about a shot of or wheatgrass Juice?
Maybe later, thank's.
Lets talk about your song, Dave.
Well, it crazy as is sounds, the original
inspiration came to me...
The song sucks, Dave.
- What?
- Your song, it's awful.
I hate it.
Yea, I mean, who's gonna sing it?
Justin, Fergie, not a chance.
- I mean, I need something new, I need something fresh.
- That is new.
Dave, we go way back,
alright...
We both come along ways since college.
You.. not so much...
I wanted to like that song.
But, you heard it, not that good.
If I wasn't your friend, I'd say...
Dave you go right back out of this office, and you
keep writing music, you'll get there someday...
but I am your friend, so I'm gonna tell you that...
There's no sense in writing songs,
that no one is ever... ever going to sing.
Ever?
Excuse me.
Can I get some of that water?
We ran out of it.
- Out of the way.
- Move your butt Theodore.
You stepped on my tail.
The last one at the door, is road kill.
- I'm in.
- What are these shiney things?
- Theodore, we're leaving now.
- Oh...
- Ok, maybe this wasn't my best idea.
- Look out!
Maniac!
Please.
- Back to the tree
- Back to the tree.
- Back to the door.
- Back to the door.
- Basket... 3:00 o'clock
- Which way is 3:00 o'clock?
- This way!
- Guys, wait for me.
Wait up... I'm still a baby yet, you know.
Jump, Theodore, you got to really want it.
- I want it, I want it.
- I can't hang like this, waiting all day.
Really... jump in already!
Wooo... muffins.
House... is this a house?
- No... it's a garbage can.
- Ahh...
Ohh...
this must be, where he
stores his food for winter in.
Come on baby... come to papa.
Hello, Gorgeous.
Wow... we hit the mother load.
These taste the greatest... well, am I right?
Eureka!
I found the cheese balls
What're you doing?
Dont make a mess.
Timber...
Quick, hide.
Did I put this here?
There you are.
Got you...
Gee... he's been out for quite a while.
- Huh, he's gonna be dead...
- Don't panic.
Write everyhing down.
We need a garbage bag, a shovel,
some antiseptic, some gloves and a radio.
Hang on, Sherlock.
He's coming too.
I must be hearing things.
Oh... this is trippy.
Sir, are you alright?
Get back.
- Squirels can't talk.
- Woo... woo... oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...
Watch it, genius... we're Chipmunks, Chip-Munks.
Chipmunks can't talk either.
Well... our lips are moving,
and words are coming out.
This is not happening, I'm not talking to Chipmunks.
I'm not talking to Chipmunks!
So... how's that working for you Dave?
- How do you know my name?
- Oh that one? We read your mail.
- By accident.
- You really ought to pay that utility bill, Dave.
You ever heard of credit rating?
What's this thing?
- Stop that, turn that off.
- Sorry.
He fell out of the tree at birth.
Can... can all animals talk?
I believe fish have this kind of sign language.
Hey Dave, do all humans have a house,
that smells like sweat socks?
Dave has to wear, dirty underwear.
- Get me a pair...
- We're getting of, on the wrong foot.
How about if we introduce ourself?
Hello, I'm Simon, the smart one.
- He is Alvin.
- The ultimate one.
and I'm Theodore.
So... nice to meet you, now get out of my house.
But... we talk.
Huh... which only makes me want you,
out of my house that much more.
It's creepy, unnatural, some what evil.
I kind of liked him better, when he was unconscious.
- Gotcha!
- Hey...
Don't do this, Dave...
we can knaw right through this door.
Hey...
Oh... are we disturbing you?
- You guys can sing too?
- That's not singing, this is singing.
This is amazing.
Here, come on inside
- There you go.
- Thank you.
Alright, here is the deal... you guys
sing my songs, and you get to sleep here.
No... wait!
Is breakfeast included?
- I can live with that.
- What about TV privilege... hmm?
- Ok, but not after 7.
- 8.
Done.
But don't tell your animal friends,
Because I don't wanna..
come home and find a bunch of
rabbits and skunks on my couch.
There're filthy creatures, Dave
we never associate with them.
Yeah, we're gonna be friends.
No, no, let's not get ahead of ourselves here...
lets just start with me, being your song writer.
And... hold on there...
have you ever written a song before?
Yeap.
and is that your music stuff, outside?
Yeap.
- Oh no.
- Hurry back.
So, fellows...
all we got do is...
find a right song... rehearse... no...
- Hi, Dave.
- Simon?
- I'm bad.
- This is my sheets music.
Alvin...
This is not a hula-hoop... it's a towel rack.
- Killjoy.
- Are you guys always like this?
We're kids, Dave.
Oh, where're your parents?
When you're a Chipmunk, your
parents will take care of you for a week...
and then... they'll take off.
Our parents are hippies, they left
early to join a commune.
Help! It's a crazy Robot.
Help me! He's trying to catch me.
- He's after me.
- Hey, hey, hey... be careful with that.
Sorry.
It's a collectable... I got it for
christmas last year.
Christmas!
We love Christmas.
Even thou, we never actualy celebrated it.
But we like too.
Yeah... you can never go wrong with Christmas.
Maybe we can celebrate it with you
Yeah... maybe
Look, I've had a long... and weird day.
So off to bed
Come on.
We start work tomorrow.
I want you guys bright eyed, and bushy tailed by 8.
My tail isn't bushy till 9.
Not my problem, now go to sleep
I hope Christmas comes fast.
Me too.
Loop... hoop...
Hula-hoop!
Here's trouble...
!Fire In The Hole!
What're you guys doing?
Nothing... what are you doing?
Stand back, Dave... it's gonna blow.
I've got it...
I've got it guys... come to papa.
Hey...
where did it go?
Simon, It landed right in front of you.
You didn't see it?
- How many fingers am I holding up?
- 4.
No. no, no no, 8... counting your thumbs?
- No wait...
- Hang on a second.
6... my answer is 6.
Try this... how's that?
Wow...
Someone trashed your house.
Well, it was clean, when I went to bed last night.
Well... we came in for a while.
But then we got hungry.
Is these, what we'd call it?
Actually I wanna play you something.
I wrote a song for you guys to sing, so let's...
We put a few toaster-waffles aside for winter.
And we're not sharing.
Guys, we gonna have food all winter...
so, if you start storing it, it's gonna get gross...
.. and we're gonna have rodents...
Bad... you know, non-talking rodents around here.
Lets go.
Get to work
Alright you Chipmunks,
Ready to sing your song?
- I will say we are.
- Yeah, let's start singing now.
- Ready, Simon?
- Ok.
- Ready, Theodore?
- Ok.
Alvin?
- This hamster wheel's fun
- Alvin!
Ok...
What?
Dave Seville is in the lobby, he said
he won't leave without seeing you.
That... loser again?
- Dave...
- Ian.
I got something for you.
It's your next big thing.
Don't say anything.
What?
- Dave, don't do this to yourself.
- They sing.
- Nope, they dont.
- They do, just... just give me a second.
Come on, guys.
You know Dave...
You know some people might say, it's kind a weird,
that a grown man would wanna hula-hoop...
and others would say, you know
what's weirder than that...
a grown man bringing another grown man,
a big box with a bunch of Chipmunk in it...
who not only speak English, but can sing.
But they do sing.
We've been practicing all morning.
Oh, you've been practicing...
I didn't realize, ok what.
Yeah, okay.
Dave, I'm going to pretend,
that I have a lunch to go to.
Oops... I've got a lunch to go to.
- What was that?
- Nothing, nothing, just a little stage fright.
- I thought my heart was gonna explode.
- We are not performing monkeys, Dave.
Why we have to sing for that guy anyway?
Oh... how is this, pretend I need the money...
I hate my job, and you're staying at my place
So you owe me.
- We're sorry, Dave.
- Yeah, that helps.
Well... never mind, I'm late for work.
Can we go with you?
What? So you can mess that up too?
Ah, ah... You're goin' home.
Dave, can I climb on your lap and steer?
Give me bip.. bip.. huh
Never mind.
So sorry about the delay,
it should be a couple more minutes.
Looks like, we're building a suspense.
- Ops... there he is.
- Sorry I'm late.
Boy... am I jazzed about our yumable
Energy Bars commercial.
Honestly, goodable Energy Bar commercial
Right, goodable.
Ok, here's the pitch.
We open on a group of lethargic kids.
Close up on a little girl's face... she's sad
Our customers don't like to think
of their kids as being sad?
- Could she be flying a kite?
- I like kite.
Good
Ok great, she's flying a kite.
She's running with a kite.
She's running out of steam..
She's tired, and lets go of a kite.
Oh no... we see her face, it's sad.
But not too sad.
Right...
so she pulls out her Goodable Energy bar...
It's my mom, sorry.
- Hi, mom.
- A bid of a situation, Dave.
- Theodore vaccuumed up Alvin.
- Alvin!
- Dave help!
- What?
- I don't know, if sweeping should be done...
- Just Stay calm.
- And there goes Theodore
- And there's the other...
Look, I can't do this right now... Ok?
I absolutely understand.
But sorry Dave, quick question...
How do you feel, about an indoor pool?
Look, if you flood my house, you're dead.
Out on the street, capiche?
Mothers.
Why don't we come over here.
and look at the sales projections?
You know, when I first saw these numbers
I thought, there's just no way.
But when I looked again.
The size of Theodore's butt?
Why... why don't we come back to that.
Anyway... ten years ago, the market shares
about healthy food...
Imperceptible amoungst six to twelve year olds.
- How smart Simon thinks he is.
- Opposed to how smart he actually is.
Who's Simon?
- I didn't.
- Move it along.
You know what, I think I just clean out my office.
Sounds good.
Guys, what's this about?
- Obviously... it's Theodore's butt.
- We thought, about being in color.
On my presentation board?
You got me fired.
We didn't know.
- We're sorry, Dave.
- Oh... you're sorry? That's fantastic.
But... but.
Sorry... doesn't get my job back,
now does it Theodore?
- Why are my clothes all over the place?
- We used it to mop up the water.
Good idea, right?
Ohh my god Theodore, did you just...
- It's a raisin, Dave.
- Proof it.
Okay, you got me... look, I wanna talk
to all you guys... where's Alvin?
Alvin!
You owe me big time.
Alvin!
This is a new thing.
It's called knocking.
- Get out.
- I'm waiting for the rinse cycle.
- Out!
- Hey... I'm in the shower here.
If I made a list of my worst days ever.
Guess what? Today would be at the top of the list.
And it's still early.
Clam it sudsy!
Ok... guys,
Let me to put it to you like this, okay.
I have no job, no career...
My house is always a mess...
thank you very much.
Hi Dave, it's Claire Wilson calling, and oh...
why did I just say my last name? That was weird...
Oh... I...
I guess, I'm just a little nervous,
about coming over for dinner.
- Dinner.
- I'm gonna hang up now, I'll be there at 7, okay.
- Bye.
- That's a half an hour.
- Who's Claire?
- Claire is Dave's mate.
- Uh, la, la...
- She's not my mate... she's my ex mate.
Ok...
That's just great.
Look... Dave relax, you just handle the food.
We'll take care of the rest, alright?
Why, am I having a hard time believing you?
- Thank you for your confidence.
- That really... hurts.
- We're all in these together, Dave.
- Yea, just like a family.
- No... not like a family.
- Tick, tock, Dave... time's on the move.
Right.
Wow!
We also do offices, and recreational vehicles.
What's that smell?
Your colgne, very masculine... are we?
What'd you do? Dump the entire bottle on the rug?
We call it, scenting the area.
I got to admit, I'm surprised...
the place looks great.
Well... we Chipmunks are notoriously tidy.
Yea, I see that.
- Ahh... that smell's my (?) taste.
- Yea, when do we eat?
Guys... I don't know how to tell this?
But... it's just gonna be Claire and me tonight.
- Hey... hold the phone, Dave, so we can't have...
- No.
- Even if we...
- No.
- But we thought, that...
- And no...
- Look, in the other room.
- Please.
What a buzzkill, eh.
- I never knew you could cook this well.
- Well, it's all about slow roasting.
It takes longer but...
when it comes to flavour, why rush?
Well, I'm impressed.
- I've been seeing your photos in the paper.
- Yeah, it's going really great.
How about you, how's your job?
Great, lovin' it.
- How do you think it's going?
- Terrible.
It seems, they're not even sleeping together.
- Alvin! Dave said that...
- Dave needs a little help, from the Love Doctor.
- And his assistant.
- Get back here.
You know, this is nice.
Just two friends having dinner...
hanging out.
No pressure, nothing weird.
Ugh, my... my stereo, it does it all the time,
it's like it has a mind of it's own.
You were saying?
Ah... nothing, I was just a little nervous
about coming overhere.
I wasn't sure if you thought, it was
a date or something.
A date?... No.
The wiring in my unit is shot.
You should get an electrician to fix that.
I don't need anyone, to fix anything for me.
Okay.
Could... could you excuse me, for a moment?
I'm... I'm gonna go check the fusebox.
Hey...
Look, I know what you guys are up to.
Alvin?
- Breath test!
- Where is Al... ouh...
- Hey...
- Dave, are you okay?
Everything's fine.
- Why did you do that?
- We're just trying to help, David.
You have garlic breath.
Well, stop helping, you're ruining everything.
I think I got something in my eye.
Here, let me see.
Yea, it looks realy irritated.
It's so red... what happened?
- What wa...?
- Oh, I t... I thought I saw a rat.
- A Rat?
- It's probably nothing, here let's finish eating, ha.
Well...
tomorrow I'm gonna call the exterminator.
- Ouh...
- Rats, run away, rats run away, rats...
- What...?
- Watch out Claire.
- Dave...
- Dave, now she's with you.
Dave, what're you doing?
- You've got her going, Dave.
- Dave...
Dave... let go.
I'm sorry Claire, it's just...
I lost my job, Claire.
I guess, I just needed a hug.
Why didn't you just say so,
tell me what happened?
Well, this is gonna sound realy... strange.
No games, no fooling around.
- The truth?
- Please, I'm begging you.
My life is being sabotaged,
by talking Chipmunk.
- You know what...
- I'm not crazy, I swear.
You haven't changed at all.
Wait... Claire, don't go,
I can... I can explain.
Chipmunks.
You should have gone after her, Dave...
she loves you.
Alvin, you're not helping.
- Don't give up, Dave.
- Go away, leave me alone.
- Dave... would you like a cookie?
- I said, leave me alone.
- Is it me?
- Alright, or was he a little mad?
- I wonder?... Thinking.
- Yes!
- He really did have garlic breath.
- Well played, guys.
Idea! Dinga, ding, ding...
- Who has cab fare?
- Cab fare? We don't even have pockets.
Dear Fellows...
I'm sorry, but this isn't realy working out.
I don't know what made me think,
I could handle you guys...
when I can bareley manage my own life.
You should go back to your real
home, in the forrest.
That what's best for all of us.
I'm sorry, it has to be this way, but...
Guys!
Simon... Theodore...
Guys.
Alvin?
A L V I N...
Simon!
Theodore!
Alvin? - Alvin...
Hello!
- Hello?
- Hurry.
Kids...
Welcome to Jett Records.
Ok, new rule: No going out after nine, and
not at all, unless I know where you're going.
Were you worried about us, David?
No, I just need to know, that's all.
Wait! If you're not worried,
why do you need to know?
I need to know, Okay?
Ouhh... Alvin.
Oh... oh, sorry about that.
- Sorry.
- Kids, eh.
Yea, they keep you on your toes,
do you have any?
Three boys.
Some days are better than others.
And some days, you just wanna close'm in a box,
leave the box In the park, and run away, you know.
Oh...
You too... hide.
Guys, what's all this?
Toaster-waffels!
I can't afford all this toaster-waffels.
Ohh... what?
In case you didn't notice,
I don't have a job any...
My song.
- Alright, isn't it?
- Yea...
- Hello.
- Hey, Dave.
Hey... how's my favorite song writer?
- Ian?
- Tell me, if you've heard the song?
Yea, I... I'm listening to it, right now,
but I mean, how did you... when did...
Speed of buisness baby, that's how we do it.
That's, how I roll.
I've got a friend at satellite radio,
he put it in immediate rotation.
And that video of your little guys,
10 million hits already on YouTube...
bango... bango... bongo... banga... banga.
It's crazy, I've gotta go.
Hey... put some clothes on those guys,
though, it's ah... it's kind of embarrassing.
We owe you, Dave.
So we're good with the toaster-waffles, right?
Ah... Dave?
Soup's up.
Guys, that was excelent,
Simon, great work.
- Thank you.
- Theodore, good job.
Alvin, you were a little flat, watch it.
Alvin!
So, what'd you think?
Cool!
Alright.
Toothbrush, ha? Okay.
No.
Dave... are you awake?
I am now.
I had a nightmare.
Can... can I sleep with you?
You won't even know, I'm here.
Okay, sure, but stay on that side of the bed.
Oh... oh, okay.
Theodore, that's not your side of the bed.
Theodore, wake up.
- It's Christmas,
- Alvin, it's Christmas.
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, Christmas.
Come on Dave, it's Christmas.
Wake up, lazy bone.
- Oh yea, Christmas.
- Come on now.
- You can sleep when you are dead.
- I'm coming.
- Hurry up, Dad.
- Dad?
Oh... I said Dave.
- This is shaping up to be my favorite christmas ever.
- You're gonna want to open mine first, Dave.
- Open mine first...
- No, Dave, mine first.
- You guys got me presents?
- Of course.
Alright, Simon.
- Wow, it's a...
- Paperclip compass.
A paperclip compass... now I never get lost.
- Me next.
- Alvin.
- Well... my wallet.
- You like it?
I wanted to give you something,
you can use every day.
And I have been using this, for almost ten years now.
Very thoughtful, Alvin, thank you.
Well... the look on your face says it all, Dave.
Nicely done Theodore.
"To Dav".
Let's see, it says:
Merry Christmas, Love Theodore.
And it got a nice picture of a... some pineapples?
Those aren't pineapples, that's our family.
Look fellows, let's make sure we
understand each other here...
I'm not your...
you know... your dad or anything, right?
But... you're like a dad.
Well, not really.
I mean, we're friends, for sure.
I write your music,
you know, manage your career...
- Make us sweaters.
- Feed us.
Let us sleep in your bed
when we have nightmares.
That's what friends do.
So... who want's to open their presents?
- Hey... is that a question?
- We do...
- Me, me, me...
- Presents, presents, presents...
I can't wait to open my first... envelope.
Ah... ha...
- They're savings bonds.
- Ah... cool.
You know... in 7 years, you gonna get to
buy yourself, something really nice.
Do you... do you have any,
that you bought 7 years ago?
- Ah... ough...
- Alvin... manners.
- Thank you, Dave
- Yeah... thanks, Dave.
- Ho, ho, ho...
- Ian?
- Who wants presents?
- Wow... Cool...
Well, alright...
Hey, there's plenty more, where this came from.
- Bring'm all in, Fellows.
- Oh, Yeah.
- Jackpot.
- What are you doing?
- Taking care of my boys, Dave.
- Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Oh, weird, what happened to your
other presents, guys?
- Which one's for me?
- That big one is for me, I think.
What did you get them?
- Savings bonds.
- Great, just what every kid dreams of.
Well, you're in luck, your Uncle Ian came through.
- Cool.
- Uncle Ian?
Is this for me?
No, it's for Simon... Theodore...
and Alvin.
- Thank you Santa.
- This is for you.
You like the Elkridge Boys, right?
Yea... you're welcome
And, guess what guys, uncle Ian's gonna
have big launch party for the new CD.
That's right, press, paparazzi,
Hollywood hot shots...
- The whole nine yards.
- Super cool.
Dave, you've got 1 week
to write me a new hit single.
Alright, something fucking fresh, ok?
Peace, we out.
- Bye Uncle Ian.
- Merry Christmas.
Now it really is Christmas.
Mayday!
Mayday!
Alright, alright, settle in, settle in.
Thank you for coming.
It is a very special night, tonight.
Here at Jett Records, we pride of ourselves,
on bringing you tomorrow's music, today.
Oh.. and guess what?
I did it again.
Ladies and gentleman.
Here to sing their new hit single...
Give it up
For Alvin, Simon and Theodore.
- Alvin... Simon...
- Theodore...
Yea...
Alright, (?) you know how to do it, get on that
dance floor, and let me see what you got.
Thank you.
- You mind if I grab a few pics?
- Claire... not at all, fire away.
- Great, I've got a new assignment, I'm covering your rise to fame.
- Hey, Dave...
- Oh... this is Alvin, Simon and Theodore.
- Hello.
- Hi Claire, you're hot.
- Forgot, you guys haven't officially met.
Say, Dave...
- I'm sorry about that night, I really tought, that...
- I was insane?.
I totally understand it, talking Chipmunks,
is a lot to take in over dinner.
But, look at you now, you got your
careers, promising future..
- Kids, you're like a family.
- Don't say family in front of Dave...
It gives him gas, like clear the room gas.
- It does not!
- He doesn't want a family.
Why don't you guys go and play,
or raid the dessert table or something.
Don't take it personally, you guys...
Some people don't know a good thing
when they've got it.
Right, Dave?
Claire?
Don't be angry, big guy,
but you're not good at this.
Hey, what'd you think of this?
- What is it?
- Alvin.
- That looks nothing like Alvin.
- Well, yea, it's a prototype.
We're selling millions of this thing.
It's voice activated, here, say something to it.
Hello, ugly little Alvin doll,
that looks nothing like Alvin.
See, you'll love it, it's Spanish.
You know what? That's just weird.
Dave, Dave, Dave, we've got to
expand the munks' fan base.
I mean, forget about the music, the music is... not a
means to the big money, ok... I'm talking about...
a clothing line, a Cologne, Chipmunk sheets,
something like that, Chipmunk wine coolers...
- Ian, they're just kids.
- No, they're rats.
And they can make us both so much money
if you just let me work with them.
I can't hear you, the music is too loud.
Don't go against me on this, Dave...
I never lose.
Has anyone tryed the chocolate meatballs?
Probably going in to insuline shock,
but it's worth it.
Oh, how sweet... sweet... sweet, my life
Hey, hey, hey, Alvister, loved your song, bro.
- Up tops!
- What's up, fella?
So... I see you're enjoying my
little spread, I put out for you guys.
Ah, what am I talking about?
You probably eat like this all the time, ha?
No, Dave says he doesn't wanna spoil us.
Dude, you're a rock star,
you're supposed to be spoiled.
I mean, you're suposed to be riding in limousines,
and private planes...
And you should be going to
partys like this every night.
Really? Because Dave said
that we need our sleep.
Look Alvin, this is hard to say, but...
I mean, I've got to be upfront about it...
Dave is holding you back,
I could be making you twenty large a day...
- Mmm... is that a lot?
- Yes.
And there's another thing, I'm not gonna tell...
ok I will tell you, look, behind your back...
Dave calls you... Rats.
Rats?
Yea, what ever, right? I know, well don't let it bother you,
I mean, me... I consider you boys family...
if there's anything you need, anything at all, give your uncle Ian a call. Alright?
- Oh... alright.
- Ciao.
Come on man, you drive like my grandma...
Get a wheelchair, move over...
Hey guys, look at me.
Up up, and away.
Help... Alvin.
Alvin...
Can't help you, Simon...
I'm about to take the lead here.
Hey guys, I have an idea, for a new song.
- Hey Dave.
- What's going on in here? I thought, I told you guys to clean up.
We are.
- Ahem... who's that?
- Uncle Ian hired us a housekeeper.
She's also a masseuse, rrrrrr...
Come on, move over Road Hogg,
driving or parking, friend.
- You're catching me slowly.
- Where'd you get that game?
From Uncle Ian... move it or lose it!
Get some training wheels buddy.
You know what? That's enough.
What are you doing?
I was about to beat my high score.
Too bad, where's Theodore?
- Spit it out!
- No way.
Jett Records.
Mm, okay, that's it, meeting now.
Everyone on the couch.
Could you give us a minute?
Guys look, it's hard I know...
Three months ago you were hanging out
on a tree somewhere and now you're...
Major rock stars.
- Okay, whatever, my point is just because you're...
- Major rock stars.
It doesn't mean, you can have or do,
what ever you want.
Well, Uncle Ian said we should always be happy.
You know what?
He's not your Uncle.
He also said that we should be making
$20 a day.
Well, guess what? You're making
way more than that...
And because I care,
I'm putting it all away for you.
Just like storing nuts for the winter.
Ah... winter is for losers.
And shouldn't we have a say in,
how to build our investment portfolios?
Where is all this coming from?
You guys are just kids.
Kids, Dave, or rats?
What?
Uncle Ian says, that we're like his Family.
If you love Uncle Ian so much,
and you don't think i'm watching out for you...
Why don't you live with Uncle Ian?
Dave?
Are you still mad at us?
Dave...
Dear fellows, I'm sorry but...
- You should go back to your real home in the forest.
- Now, that's what he for us.
I told you Dave, I never lose.
Boys... welcome in your new home.
- Wow...
- Oh yeah, that is home.
- Can we play with all this stuff?
- Sure, why not?
- It's your house.
- What are the rules around here?
Yea, I do have one rule...
that there are no rules.
Cool!
Four degrees to the left.
Six degrees to the right.
Fire!
Prepare to taste the fury of my vengeance.
Don't make me laugh.
Your kungfu, is no match for my arrows.
Okay, Simon, that's enough,
I finish with them.
- Hey, give me that!
- Let go, Alvin.
Oh, come on.
- You had your chance
- Who says, that you even get a turn?
Give me that!
- You got your chance
- That's mine.
- Scram...
- I want it!
- Why didn't the airbags deploy?
- Theodore, don't go into the light.
- Let's do it again.
- Awesome!
- Playing hard?
- Oh... yea.
Good... because tomorrow, you start working hard.
Coast to coast, in five days.
Well... Dave said that touring is no life for a kid.
For a normal kid, you guys are superstars.
Which reminds me, Simon let's get rid of this...
boring glasses.
And try on these super cool... in the now glasses.
- Oh my god, oh...
- This would be great, if I can... see out of them.
Your eyes will adjust.
Come on, boys... let's hit the road.
Oh, boy... hit the road.
Come on, make love to the camera.
Alvin, big smile... yeah.
Theodore, chin up... yeahhh.
That's it, look tough, there you go,
come on, get it there.
Give me some booty, spank him! There you go.
If the Chipmunk like Crunchy Nibbles,
your pet will love them.
Cut!
Here we are... Okay.
Alright...
- Hold it.
- Ohh...
There's no button I can push, that wakes them up long enough to sing the right notes.
Are you kidding, there's 5000 buttons here.
Alright guys, guess what your Uncle Ian brought you?
Coffee.
- I love toffee.
- No, it's coffee, Theodore, coffee...
It's a super cool, energy health drink.
With whipped cream and caramel, and two humps of chocolate.
Enjoy.
That ought to keep them awake.
Stop! Come on guys, we need more energy, Ok.
We need more dry ice, we need more...
you know... WOW!
- We're the Chipmunk, for crying out loud.
- This is absurd.
- We're not performing monkeys.
- And to be honest, the new songs don't realy sound like us.
You know what I think, I think the new
direction is perfect, it's all about todays edge.
Dave always said, that it was all about the music.
No, you know what, Dave... Dave... Dave...
Dave is not here... okay.
It's me... it's fun Uncle Ian... alright.
wou, wou, wou, wou...
- What? What you gonna say? What's your name?
- Taffy.
Taffy? What kind of name is Taffy?
What do you do?
- Choreography.
- I don't know what "choreography" is, what is that?
- It's dance.
- Oh... is it, dancing?
Well, next time say you know, I'm gonna dance...
Yes, hello?
Who? Dave Seville.
Name rings a bell, a dead broken bell.
- Just let me talk to the guys.
- I don't think that's such a good idea, Dave.
The boys are still stinging a little bit,
from you kicking them out the door.
- That's not what happen.
- Denial.
So, what's this I hear about a European tour?
You're taking them away for six months?
No, twelve actually, if we get China
to go chipmunk.
Twelve?
- Look, I just wanted to say hi, see how they're doing.
- They're doing great.
They're loving life, they're livin' large.
Face it, Dave, they've moved on.
- They're happy now.
- Ian, I wanna talk to them.
- Put them on the phone.
- Yea... I don't think that's gonna happen, Dave...
Because we got a big world tour we're gonna start tomorrow, and this guys don't need the extra pressure.
- We'll send you a postcard.
- Ian, you can't do this.
They're not ready for something like that,
they're just kids.
- I'm gonna see them.
- Wait, Dave... I...
- Ian?
- I can... you...
Ian... was that Dave?
Yes... yes it was and he wants me to let you know
that he's doin' great and he's happy.
He's realy... realy happy.
Is he coming to the show?
You know what, I've sent him tickets...
And here's the thing... he sent them back.
Yeah, I know, I guess... he's busy, you know...
got better things to do.
Hey, come on, what's with the long furry faces?
We're gonna have fun, we're gonna have
a big show, you know, I tell you what...
You guys like deep tissue massage?
Alright, I know a guy.
Let me call my guy, I'll get on that.
Hy, Captain, come here.
Listen, Dave Seville...
Learn the name, look for the face.
- If he shows tomorrow night, he doesn't get anywhere near my chipmunks, you got it?
- Got it.
- Uncle Ian?
- What!
What're you doing here?
Can I sleep with you?
I had a nightmare.
You had you a nightmare?
I had a nightmare too.
In my nightmare, I had to put together
37 dates in 42 days...
In sixteen different countries and...
I had to coordinate 121 different radio print interviews, in five different languages.
But you know what Theo, the only different is... in my nightmare, when I open my eyes, it doesn't end.
So... is that a no?
Guys, I wanna go home.
What do you mean? You are home.
No, I mean home... home, you know, with Dave.
But Theodore, come on, wake up and
smell the toffe...
Dave... doesn't even want us, he doesn't
care enough to come to our show.
Too tired to rock? The Chipmunks might be.
The rumours of exhaustion and voice strainer...
swirling around the singing sensation.
Is it because of toaster waffle overload?
or a rigorous tour schedule?
It's hard to say, but manager producer, Ian Hawke...
has ensured Fox that the trio... will make their first stop tonight on their highly anticipated world tour...
at the Orpheum Theater in Los Angeles.
That's it.
You three sound like, you've been guargling nails.
Well?
I could give you a lot of fancy terms,
but the bottom line...
- they're exhausted.
- Okay, well, give them a shot or something...
a cream or a pill or something.
I invested every dime I had in this guy.
They need a long rest.
A long rest? Are you... Okay, right,
Yeah, a long rest. Right.
Right, yeah, I'm not a doctor
So, I'll get them that rest.
Okay, thank you so much, doctor,
I'll take care of it, doc, thank you.
I will... I appreciated it,
Hey, hey, doc, Chipmunk doll, get it.
Knock, knock.
So... listen guys, I just talked to the doctor...
and... I don't feel right about sending
you guys out like this.
So you gonna cancel the show?
No, no, then I have to give out refunds.
No, what I'm talking about is, having you guys... LIPSYNC!
Isn't that like cheating?
No, it's not like cheating, cheating is wrong.
This is more like helping, all the superstars do it.
You just have to make sure that you mouth
the words exactly like we were recorded them.
Otherwise people will know.
That we're cheating.
No!
- Guys, what other choice do we have?
- Yeah... See!? That's why he's the one with the letter.
Alright, guys, tighten up.
And remember, mouth the words and...
no one will know.
Love you.
- Oh, come on, you gotta have one more ticket?
- Sorry.
Take it, Simon.
- You love it? You love it?
- Yea, Chipmunk fever.
That's it baby...
Dave Seville.
No, there's no Dave Seville on this list.
You know what, that's fine, I'm the editor
of the ah... L.A Music Journal.
- No! No! I don't think so.
- It's okay, he's with me.
- He's my assistant.
- Ok.
- Thanks, Claire.
- What's going on, Dave? What are you...
I gotta get my boys back but...
Ian's trying to keep me out.
- Your boys?
- I know that probably sounds weird.
It's a good word though.
- Because after all I did... mess up everything, including with you...
- Dave, your boys.
- We should go.
- Right.
- Look... look.
- It's Dave.
If you gonna do something, do it fast.
Here... you're press, remember.
Alright.
- What's going on, pal?
- I'm a photographer, I have a press pass.
Alvin... Alvin...
A L V I N!
- He's here.
- It's Dave.
- What are you doing?
- I'm sending a message to our dear old uncle Ian.
- Sounds like a plan to me.
- Me too!
Come on, guys.
Hy, Ian...
Kiss my furry cheeks.
Keep it.
Top of the mornin' to you.
Get off my drums.
Are you ready to rock?
Turn it up, girls.
Alvin...
Come on guys, we're going home.
Move! Move!
Let's go.
- Get them!
- Look out!
Hi!
Gone.
Inny, minny, mighty, moe...
Leave us Chipmunks let us go...
Yippie, yai, yay, mama cita.
Watch your knees.
- Sorry.
- Come on, big fella.
Little bit closer.
Come on, right there, perfect.
He'll be back in the morning.
- Guys.
- Dave!
You're not going anywhere.
- What are you doing?
- Put us down.
Let me go... you guys better study your french...
because you're going to Paris, tonight.
I just had my tail done.
- No, wait.
- Here, take this. Put it with my stuff.
Let us out of here.
Ian, they don't want this anymore,
just let them go.
But the guy just left, you should have
said something about 5 seconds ago.
Come Back.
Ian, they need a real life, not all of this.
Besides, they just ruined the concert.
When they get out, no one will come see them.
Dave, they're chipmunks who talk.
People will come.
Guys, with me.
- You never take us alive...
- They just did take us alive, Alvin.
It's a figure of speech, Simon.
Instead of critizing me, why not use your
big brain to think of a way out?
Go, go, go.
Faster.
Step on it, Dave, you're losing him.
- How did you guys...
- We're talking Chipmunks, Dave.
We did get out there a lot earlier.
Not even that hard to do.
You came back for us.
Of course I came back, we're a family
- Holy nuts.
- What?
Am I going crazy or did he just say, family?
I know it, but I really missed you, guys.
I missed you too, Dave.
Me too... so did Alvin.
He's just too cool to admit it.
Yeah, too macho...
Miss... ed you too.
Sorry, I had something stuck in my throat.
I just said, I missed you too.
Whatever, who are you guys to judge me?
You know what, I missed my friend Dave.
I'll scream it from the rooftops.
I'm not afraid, I'm not ashamed.
That's right, I love you, Dave...
Come here.
- Dave?
- Yes, Alvin?
Now, can I steer?
Please, please, please.
- I've always want to work the windshield wiper.
- And I like to beat the horn.
Have at it, fellas.
- I'm a good beeper.
- Save some horn for the rest of us, man.
- Come on Dave, go faster.
- Not with you steering.
- Dave, you drive like a sleepy old...
- Okay, Alvin, that's enough.
- Enough of what? Of being awesome?
- Alvin, I said that's enough.
Hello Dave,
your boys.
Hey, If you guys behave, maybe I'll let you
call Uncle Ian again.
Deal?
Nooooo!
- Hey.
- Come on in.
- Hello Claire.
- Hello Ballerina.
- Hi guys.
- I hope you like toaster waffles.
And for us, classy chipmunks...
Not gonna say it.
Good Grief.
- You're still not gonna say it?
- Nope.
I'm gonna say it.
Alvin!
Oh, Dave.