American Guinea Pig: Bouquet of Guts and Gore (2004) Movie Script
What the fuck is that guy doing?
I don't know.
Ready?
- Ready.
- Ready.
Fuck!
Hey!
Calm down!
No!
You always start on the left,
never on the right!
Good, good now do the pants with the shears.
Always on the left, never on the right!
Now I want you to do it slower.
I want you to make me fuckin' hard!
That's good, that's good.
Make me hard.
Good, good.
I said slower!
That's good, that's good!
Move.
No, no, leave the underwear.
Sexier that way.
Want you to start at the groin and move down.
Shit, I'm out of film.
Second Unit, how are you?
I've got 18 left.
Cut!
Hey, you never start on the right!
Always start on the left!
Now slower, slower.
Oh yeah.
Oh, gettin' hard now.
Slower.
Oh yeah, hard but not trippin'.
Sorry, didn't mean to leave it like that.
Shh.
You're gonna wake your mother.
Going to help you.
This is for your own good.
It's okay, you're not a Christian.
You're just a animal who doesn't believe.
Let's give her the special medicine.
Shit, I got 20 feed left.
We can do this.
All right, give her some more
of that special sauce.
Hey, we should get
some footage of number two.
Now make sure you get
that crucifix in the shot.
What!
- No!
- Shh!
No!
She's not gonna give us anymore problems.
Now let's get her on the special sauce.
I just rolled out.
It's ready.
It's good to have you here, Second Unit.
We would have lost some footage without you.
Cut to you, Third Unit.
And thank you too, for your participation.
Now look, Units, just as we rehearsed.
Remember, we be immobile now.
But they need to understand what and why
this is happening to them.
They need to know.
Cut to you, Third Unit.
Let me congratulate you,
in being picked for this honor.
You have been chosen out of many.
Your lives are going to be given
to those down below.
Your sacrifice will not be in vain.
And if you're wondering why neither of you can move,
you've been injected with a no-muscular blocking agent.
In fact, you won't need 'em, to be precise.
And that strange liquid I had you swallow,
1,500 micrograms of LSD
has been introduced into your system.
Now, you are to be systematically tortured to death
while being filmed for our benefactors.
You're with Christ?
You're the last one to go.
Your God picked you!
Knew you would be here.
I'll give this back to you
when the time is needed.
Cut!
look at you.
Look at you, you fuckin' dirty, rotten,
fuckin' disgusted animal, fuck you.
Stop!
Put the tourniquet on.
She needs to live as long as she can.
Start with the wrist first.
I know.
You know what you were Christian,
don't you?
Roll out!
Rolling!
Oh, that's much better.
I think she likes that.
No, put that on her.
Put it on her chest.
No, no, no, not the animal.
Don't play with the animal.
All right, now tie the other leg off.
Yeah.
Cuttin' you up real nice, you fuckin' animal.
I'm out of film.
Shit, you just sawed through
the thickest part of the bone!
Fuck this.
Goin' big.
That shit ain't gonna work.
Bone's too thick.
Tie higher.
I'm out!
I can't fucking do this anymore.
This is fuckin' insane!
I can't handle this!
I just, wow!
Hey, shut the fuck up!
Listen, you're doin' this for a reason, all right?
You know that we have your kids.
You know that we have your children.
And what happens to them depends
on your performance tonight.
So don't fuck this up, okay?
Smile, VHS.
Our producers are watching.
Cut to you, VHS.
Okay stop.
That's the limit.
Roll out.
You're now being tested.
We have less than five minutes to wrap this up.
Okay, that's enough entertaining.
Thanks for being such a wonderful participant
for us tonight.
All right, come on VHS.
This is your moment to shine.
Get in here and don't fuck this up.
We're gonna bleed this flower out.
You're doin' a good job.
I had to change my underwear.
Get the razor.
That's good, good.
Nice.
Sometimes we get lucky.
The script goes out the window.
And what we have is luck.
Good.
You did good.
Roll out!
Rolling!
All right, let's take her out.
Welcome to Hollywood, Erika!
You're a fucking star now.
Let's everybody give her a round of applause.
All right!
Oh yeah!
Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Yep, you got it?
You got all the rest of it?
You got it?
- Yeah.
- You think it'll work?
- Yeah?
- I got it.
All right, yes, I know what
the producers want, got it.
I know what they want.
Jesus Christ, this time are the girls good lookin'?
Eh.
Eh, so-so?
- Eh, so-so.
- So-so,
that's all they are?
All right, tell ya, man.
I tell you what, you gotta ram that guy, man.
I don't like that guy.
I think he's gonna fuck everything up.
I hate working with that big, bald Eight.
He doesn't listen to direction.
He doesn't understand his right from his left.
Well you tell that to the boss.
I ain't havin' it.
He can get the fuck outta here.
Yeah.
Will you just make sure that these go on tomorrow?
I don't know.
Ready?
- Ready.
- Ready.
Fuck!
Hey!
Calm down!
No!
You always start on the left,
never on the right!
Good, good now do the pants with the shears.
Always on the left, never on the right!
Now I want you to do it slower.
I want you to make me fuckin' hard!
That's good, that's good.
Make me hard.
Good, good.
I said slower!
That's good, that's good!
Move.
No, no, leave the underwear.
Sexier that way.
Want you to start at the groin and move down.
Shit, I'm out of film.
Second Unit, how are you?
I've got 18 left.
Cut!
Hey, you never start on the right!
Always start on the left!
Now slower, slower.
Oh yeah.
Oh, gettin' hard now.
Slower.
Oh yeah, hard but not trippin'.
Sorry, didn't mean to leave it like that.
Shh.
You're gonna wake your mother.
Going to help you.
This is for your own good.
It's okay, you're not a Christian.
You're just a animal who doesn't believe.
Let's give her the special medicine.
Shit, I got 20 feed left.
We can do this.
All right, give her some more
of that special sauce.
Hey, we should get
some footage of number two.
Now make sure you get
that crucifix in the shot.
What!
- No!
- Shh!
No!
She's not gonna give us anymore problems.
Now let's get her on the special sauce.
I just rolled out.
It's ready.
It's good to have you here, Second Unit.
We would have lost some footage without you.
Cut to you, Third Unit.
And thank you too, for your participation.
Now look, Units, just as we rehearsed.
Remember, we be immobile now.
But they need to understand what and why
this is happening to them.
They need to know.
Cut to you, Third Unit.
Let me congratulate you,
in being picked for this honor.
You have been chosen out of many.
Your lives are going to be given
to those down below.
Your sacrifice will not be in vain.
And if you're wondering why neither of you can move,
you've been injected with a no-muscular blocking agent.
In fact, you won't need 'em, to be precise.
And that strange liquid I had you swallow,
1,500 micrograms of LSD
has been introduced into your system.
Now, you are to be systematically tortured to death
while being filmed for our benefactors.
You're with Christ?
You're the last one to go.
Your God picked you!
Knew you would be here.
I'll give this back to you
when the time is needed.
Cut!
look at you.
Look at you, you fuckin' dirty, rotten,
fuckin' disgusted animal, fuck you.
Stop!
Put the tourniquet on.
She needs to live as long as she can.
Start with the wrist first.
I know.
You know what you were Christian,
don't you?
Roll out!
Rolling!
Oh, that's much better.
I think she likes that.
No, put that on her.
Put it on her chest.
No, no, no, not the animal.
Don't play with the animal.
All right, now tie the other leg off.
Yeah.
Cuttin' you up real nice, you fuckin' animal.
I'm out of film.
Shit, you just sawed through
the thickest part of the bone!
Fuck this.
Goin' big.
That shit ain't gonna work.
Bone's too thick.
Tie higher.
I'm out!
I can't fucking do this anymore.
This is fuckin' insane!
I can't handle this!
I just, wow!
Hey, shut the fuck up!
Listen, you're doin' this for a reason, all right?
You know that we have your kids.
You know that we have your children.
And what happens to them depends
on your performance tonight.
So don't fuck this up, okay?
Smile, VHS.
Our producers are watching.
Cut to you, VHS.
Okay stop.
That's the limit.
Roll out.
You're now being tested.
We have less than five minutes to wrap this up.
Okay, that's enough entertaining.
Thanks for being such a wonderful participant
for us tonight.
All right, come on VHS.
This is your moment to shine.
Get in here and don't fuck this up.
We're gonna bleed this flower out.
You're doin' a good job.
I had to change my underwear.
Get the razor.
That's good, good.
Nice.
Sometimes we get lucky.
The script goes out the window.
And what we have is luck.
Good.
You did good.
Roll out!
Rolling!
All right, let's take her out.
Welcome to Hollywood, Erika!
You're a fucking star now.
Let's everybody give her a round of applause.
All right!
Oh yeah!
Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Yep, you got it?
You got all the rest of it?
You got it?
- Yeah.
- You think it'll work?
- Yeah?
- I got it.
All right, yes, I know what
the producers want, got it.
I know what they want.
Jesus Christ, this time are the girls good lookin'?
Eh.
Eh, so-so?
- Eh, so-so.
- So-so,
that's all they are?
All right, tell ya, man.
I tell you what, you gotta ram that guy, man.
I don't like that guy.
I think he's gonna fuck everything up.
I hate working with that big, bald Eight.
He doesn't listen to direction.
He doesn't understand his right from his left.
Well you tell that to the boss.
I ain't havin' it.
He can get the fuck outta here.
Yeah.
Will you just make sure that these go on tomorrow?