Amityvillenado (2026) Movie Script

(gentle music)
(thunder rumbles)
(rain patters)
(door clatters and squeaks)
[Jessy] Couldn't we have taken
these pictures somewhere else?
[Becca] Like where?
I don't know, somewhere less disgusting.
Maybe on a day where it's
not pouring rain outside.
But don't you just love the aesthetic?
It's so gross.
Come on. Where's your
sense of adventure?
Back outside with my sanity.
We shouldn't be here.
I thought you liked breaking the rules.
Holy shit.
(spirits whisper)
Oh, nope. That's my creepy limit.
Don't worry.
I'm sure some teenagers just
left it in here as a joke.
Oh, ha-ha. Please put it back.
Or I have an idea.
(match hisses)
(thunder rumbles)
Don't you think this is just, like,
a little disrespectful?
Just taking pictures.
I mean this is the house
where the guy lost his marbles
and murdered his entire family.
And?
That doesn't freak you out?
Not really.
You are such a freak.
(ominous music)
(scraping)
What was that?
It was just the house.
What are you doing?
It's juniper.
Can use it to cleanse the
house of any malicious spirits.
I want my model freaking out.
(rat squeaking)
You think it works on rodents?
I think I just saw a rat.
Who knows what else is in here?
Okay, I think we got it.
We're done?
We're just beginning.
You wanna?
(spirits whisper)
I don't think it's a good idea.
Come on.
I don't know why I let
you talk me into this stuff.
(brooding music)
Is anyone there?
We don't mean any harm.
We just wanna talk.
(thunder crashes)
Spirits.
If you're there, give us a sign.
(tense music)
(buzzing)
Oh. Sorry, that's me.
(phone buzzing)
Oh shit! There's a tornado warning.
It's like really close. What do we do?
It's okay.
Um, we're gonna find a bathroom.
We're gonna take shelter.
We're gonna be fine.
- Okay. Yeah.
- Okay.
(door creaks)
Did you hear that?
It was, it was just the wind.
(ominous music)
I think we need to get out of here.
(dramatic music)
(ladies shrieking)
(soft old-timey music)
(thunder booms)
[DJ Boner] You're listening
to Amityville 103.9.
Wanna bone?
It's me, Jon Boner slinging
the best songs all day long.
Stay tuned.
(thunder crashes)
(energetic music)
(energetic music continues)
Do you think about the
harm you've caused yourself
Concentrating on the
here or nowhere else
With all things aside
You could never decide
on heaven, here, or hell
And I know that it's a
long, long winding road
I know, I know
I know, I know
Do you really have to go
Is this everything
Is this everything
You wanted
You wanted
Is this is everything
Is this is everything
You thought that it could be
You thought that it could be
You said you want it
You said you want it
Now you got it
Now you got it
Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
So when you change your
mind, don't look for me
I'm in the second cities
Man, yes.
I have been looking forward to this trip.
This is exactly what I need right now.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
It's just a little bit of driving.
Then a lot of relaxing.
Man. Check it out.
All around us,
this is the biggest one in
the city, Amityville Cemetery.
Uh, cool.
Once we got our stuff moved
in, set everything down,
feed the cat, check out some local sites,
some of the scenes, and
then we're throwing a party.
I'm pretty sure your
sister said no parties.
Look, once we get closer to
the city, I'll find a spot,
I'll help out, get some party snacks.
Speaking of snacks, have you
seen my burrito anywhere?
Have I seen your...?
How did you lose a whole-ass burrito?
(sighs) I don't know man.
Oh. (Laughs) Here it is.
It's still good, right?
How many of those have you eaten?
Uh, burritos? This is my first one.
Bullshit.
I saw you down three fried
tacos, two shakes, and a Twinkie.
And?
And I'm just saying there's no mystery
that your stomach keeps hurting.
It's all that shit you
keep putting into it.
Are you fucking kidding me?
What? What's wrong man?
I can't concentrate on the road
with you snacking on garbage all day.
(laughs) Want a bite?
You chew like a farm animal.
Which one?
Moo, moo, moo. Oink, oink, oink. (Laughs)
[DJ Boner] You're listening
to Amityville 103.9, The Pit.
That song was "Second
Cities" by Kill Lincoln.
We got more music coming up.
But before we move on,
I wanna talk about a local
story that's just breaking.
Now, everyone tuning in
is likely aware of the infamous
Amityville Horror House,
the DeFeo Murders and the Lutz family.
Well, last night the house's
legacy came to a climactic end
as a record breaking F5 tornado
leveled it to the ground.
Thankfully no one was injured-
Talk radio.
- Whoa, dude. Hey, whoa, hey.
- Hey!
- Turn that up.
- What the fuck?
[DJ Boner] But the cultural impact
that 108 Ocean Avenue
has left on Amityville
isn't going anywhere.
Stay tuned, dear viewers,
because up next we have
"7675" by Joystick!
But first, a word from our sponsors.
[Advertiser] Cream
Weenie! Your favorite
Sounds like a pretty
fucking gnarly storm, I guess.
[Advertiser] It's a balanced breakfast.
Be anything you want to be!
Trey, you, you alright?
[Advertiser] And everyone in between
can't get enough of the Creamy Ween!
No teeth required.
(sighs) Man, I know
you don't really care,
but what that guy just said on the radio,
the house, the haunting, it's like,
it's like the history of the whole town.
That was like practically my childhood.
[Jib] Mm-hmm.
Just, you never got to see it, you know?
And you would've loved it. (Laughs)
Yeah, I'm really sure I would, Trey.
Hey, we could still check
out the wreckage, right?
Mm. No.
Well at least there's
still the Skull Crusher show.
Skull Crusher! Yeah.
You're coming right? You're down?
No, I was never down.
I've got a lot of better
things to do. Like nothing.
That's my exact goal for the weekend.
And Skull Crusher gets in the way of that.
I guess I just don't understand
why you don't like 'em.
'Cause I like good music, Trey.
Oh.
(Trey's stomach gurgles)
Uh. Oh.
(Trey farts)
Dude.
(energetic music)
I do it for the cause
I do it for the kicks
It's 8 AM it's time we get
this shit all over with
And so we pile in a van,
start singing Everclear
We're heading to the yard
so we can chug some beers
And then I throw it back
And then I throw it back
I throw an egg to Mickey
then I pass it back to Zach
Then I throw it back
But I throw the egg to Alex
And I hope that it will crack
Oh, shit. Brent, hi.
Sorry you had to see that.
Don't be. I was enjoying the show.
I didn't know you moved like that.
Well, just trying to unwind.
What's up?
Well, I just wanted to stop
in and say great work today.
- Oh?
- Yeah.
I really enjoyed your coverage
of yesterday's tornado.
Very informative stuff.
Wow. Thank you so much.
That means a lot coming from you.
I know it does.
That being said,
we need to have a little
talk about your sign off.
Shit.
I know I kind of went on a tangent,
but it's just, that tornado
was an absolute phenomena.
Not to mention, it decimated
a local historic landmark.
- Oh, I'm aware.
- Right?
And Chris and Shanta
didn't even talk about it.
And for that tornado to touch down on site
and then just vanish?
I, I've never heard of
or seen anything like it.
And even on my radar,
the formation goes
against everything I know
about hook echoes and
velocity couplets. (Laughs)
It's almost as if the DeFeo house itself
was the source of the vortex and
Dude. Lemme stop you right there.
The viewers don't care about
that old haunted house.
It's played out.
In fact, I think the people of this town
are happy to see it gone.
It just felt like it
deserved to be mentioned.
Yeah. Well you don't make
those decisions now, do you?
You're a meteorologist, not a journalist.
No, you're right. I'm sorry.
It won't happen again.
I know it won't.
Well, thank you for stopping by, Brent.
But I should really get going.
Unless there's something
else you wanna talk about.
Actually there is.
(soft ominous music)
As you know, Gale Thunder
is retiring next month.
I heard.
Right.
And I know you've been eyeing
the evening news position.
So let me give you a little
advice, June Weathers,
if you see yourself as the
evening news meteorologist
at my station, you show up
when I tell you to show up,
say what I tell you to
say, and stay pretty.
Speaking of, you may wanna
lay off the break room donuts.
You're looking a little, uh...
See you tomorrow.
[Trey] Yes indeed. (Laughs)
Where's the couch?
Dude, I gotta hand it to you,
You did such a great job driving.
And you did a great job
farting the whole time.
And I'm not done yet,
my friend. (Laughs)
What a sight. It is so good to be back.
It's good to breathe some fresh air.
Oh, come on man.
Trey and Jib bachelor weekend.
We're gonna have so much fun.
Not too much fun though,
right, Trey? Just relaxing.
Right, Trey?
Or just ignore me. That's cool.
Alright, according to
my sister's text, uh,
the key should be in the mailbox.
Cool.
(fly buzzing)
Hey, remember when I said
that the key was in the mailbox?
Dude, are you fucking kidding me?
It's gotta be around here somewhere.
(sighs) Not wanting to
sleep in that car again.
It wasn't all so bad.
It was kind of cuddly.
Dude, for you. You
were the little spoon.
(ominous music)
- Hold it right there.
Oh, shit. Cop.
What the heck is this guy doing here?
Hey officer, uh, how can
we help you out today?
What are you two doing here?
Well, trying to get in,
but the door's locked.
I see. And do you live here?
(Jib sighs)
Uh, no.
It's his sister's place and
we're allowed to be here.
And what's he doing?
(Trey farts)
Oh, that's a new kind of yoga.
Helps him poop.
Funny guy.
I'm gonna need to see some identification.
And I'm gonna need you to
tone down the dick cop vibe.
What are you, like a year older than us.
Hey! Found it.
Oh see, we're all good here.
Okay. Sorry to bother you.
Oh, by the way,
there's been suspicious
activity around here as of late.
If you see anything out of
the ordinary, let me know.
Sure.
- For sure.
- Stay outta trouble.
You got it, Paul Blart.
It's Officer Lipshits.
(moody music)
I don't like Officer Dipshits,
dude. I fucking hate cops.
What was he even doing here?
Dude, I have no idea.
I don't give a rat's hat about that guy.
Sit yourself down but I
don't get too comfortable
'cause you and I are
going across the street
to the DeFeo house right now.
I did not drive all this
way to just get tetanus.
What I need is a nap.
You're not gonna get
tetanus over there, dude.
You're gonna get, like,
a bunch of crazy cool unknown treasures.
Where's your sense of adventure?
Who knows what kind of crazy cool things
we can find over there?
Let's go.
What are you even hoping to find?
You're gonna dig through
a bunch of scrap lumber
and uncover some relics of
the past, like an old mirror?
Dude, yeah.
- Or maybe a dollhouse.
- Yes.
Or a shitty broken clock
next to a painting of a clown.
Yeah. Let's go.
Spooky toilet, that's what you're after.
Hey, hey, don't belittle
my condition, dude.
And exactly.
Dude, there's a world of
endless possibilities out there
just waiting for us.
Let's go.
Trey, I absolutely am
not going across the street
to look at an abandoned lot with you.
Trey and Jib, paranormal private eyes
on our biggest mission yet:
The DeFeo house.
Look alive, buddy.
(camera clicks)
That's the thumbnail
for this week's episode.
Oh, I'm gonna be a star.
Here we are at the DeFeo house.
And in an amazing stroke
of luck, the gate's open.
Huh.
Step right in. (Cackles)
Yeah, just totally ajar.
It's not a jar, it's a gate.
Caught me there. (Sighs)
Here we are at the DeFeo house.
Well, what's left of it.
(sighs) If only there was some way
I could describe to the listeners
what I'm feeling right now.
It's amazing. It's awe-inspiring.
Kind of fucked up.
That's not the DeFeo
house, you nincompoop.
This is the DeFeo house.
Beautiful, isn't it?
Well it was beautiful. Still kind of is.
It's just an empty lot.
It's not just an empty lot.
This plot of land is a
piece of American history.
- Is that so?
- (laughs) Absolutely.
The history here goes a lot
deeper than most people realize.
Okay, I'll bite.
(subdued music)
I'm assuming you're
familiar with Ronald DeFeo Jr.
Yeah, mass murderer, famously
killed this whole family.
There's like a million movies.
Precisely.
And according to Amityvillepedia,
DeFeo was not the first
resident of this house
to lose his mind within its walls.
According to local legend, a
man by the name of Salem Poe
erected the structure in 1927
as a wedding gift for
his new bride, Delilah.
Erected. Nice.
I'm getting excited about it too, dude.
The wood he used to frame the house
was salvaged from a local asylum
burnt down by one of his patients.
The Poes lived here
for only a short time during construction,
but Salem began to hear whispers
coming within the walls night after night.
Their whispers became
louder, turning to screams!
They demanded a sacrifice of a soul.
Salem battled the voices,
but they became too much.
Wielding the very hammer he
used to construct the home,
Salem bludgeon Delilah to death
offering her soul as a
bartering chip to the spirits.
Unfortunately, in doing so,
he fell victim to the
malevolent spirit's trap
and cursed himself into a half life.
Salem abandoned the house
and Delilah's body was
found by the Ireland family
upon taking over the home's construction.
As for Salem, it's believe
that he changed his name,
fled town, and was never heard from again.
Very cool.
This really affects all the
things I have to do today.
(Trey sighs)
Can you enjoy nothing?
I'm sorry. It just all
sounds really inaccurate.
You know anyone can edit that, right?
Dude, look at the guy who made the page.
He's a top contributor in the whole wiki.
TreyGriffin95? That's you.
Ah, it doesn't matter,
man. Look, I grew up here.
I know what I'm talking about.
I'm like your own private
personal tour guy.
Oh, thank you for the history lesson.
You're welcome, buddy.
You know I'm just amazed
at how quickly they
cleaned up all the debris.
Who knows what kind of cool history
we could have found here.
Hmm.
So it's really interfered
with your investigation,
hasn't it, Detective?
Indeed.
I guess some things are
just meant to be a mystery.
(subdued music)
(wind whistles)
Huh, $2 bill.
(Trey laughs)
- Where are you going?
Trey get outta there, man.
Dude, check it out.
Wow. A whole two bucks.
Try not to spend it
all in one place, Trey.
I'm not spending this thing, dude.
This is my lucky day.
What is that?
(spirits whisper)
(ominous music)
Dude.
(cat clock meows)
Why don't we just like stop
and think about this for a second.
I thought you didn't even
believe in the paranormal.
I don't. I believe in
art imitating reality.
And I've seen enough movies
to know that fucking with that
is just gonna leave me dead or possessed.
And you're gonna have
to be haunted with that
for the rest of your life.
I wouldn't die too?
- No.
- Why?
Well, 'cause you're too dumb.
Oh.
Point is, we shouldn't fuck with that.
Even if it's just some
trash from an empty lot.
Haunted lot.
Allegedly haunted.
Wait, why you always getting me derailed?
I don't wanna do this.
(Trey hums mockingly)
(spirits whisper)
(soft brooding music)
Spirits, my name's Trey.
This is my homie, Jib.
We mean you no harm.
What up, spirits?
Are you in the room with us?
(haunting music)
Dude? W-What?
It's working! Dude, dude, dude, dude!
Ah! (Laughs)
(Trey panting)
Did you feel that?
Unbelievable.
W-was that You?
Of course it was.
(groans) So disrespectful.
Uh, yeah.
Super disrespectful to the
spirits of the empty lot.
Dude, I was trying to bridge the gap.
What gap?
The gap between the
spiritual dimensions.
(Trey's stomach gurgles)
(Trey farts)
Oh, oh, ooh.
Oh, shit. You good?
Yeah. Yeah. I'll be fine.
Dude, I told you you shouldn't
have had that last burrito.
(Treys stomach gurgles)
Nope! It's touching
cloth, it's touching cloth.
(Trey farts and shudders)
Change your underwear!
(sighs) Finally. Peace and quiet.
(cat mews)
(ominous music)
(cat clock ticks and meows)
(insects chirring)
(brakes squeal)
Another day, another dollar.
You coming?
My shift don't start
for five minutes, man.
I'm taking every second.
You a lazy son of a
bitch, you know that, Gus?
It takes one to know one, fat-ass.
Ah, fuck face. Hand me my cola.
This shit's gon' kill you.
Aw, I ain't that lucky.
Fuckin' Gus. Fuckin' all his bullshit.
I'm over it.
What the fuck?
(clicks tongue) It's
too early for this shit.
(phone beeps and rings)
[Boss] Goddammit, Rooster.
What the hell do you need?
Good morning to you too, boss.
Listen, I got 10 dudes coming up
for the Amityville removal job.
Gus and I just got to the site.
There's gotta be some kind of mix up.
[Boss] Ah, Christ. I'm
looking at the work order now.
You should be at the Amityville
Horror House on, uh, Ocean
Ocean Avenue. Yeah, we're here.
[Boss] What's the problem then?
Load up the wreckage. Haul it out.
That's the thing, boss.
There ain't nothing left.
It's gone.
- Ah, fuck it.
You know, you know what?
If you and Gus don't wanna
work, I'll hire people who do.
(unsettling music)
(wind groans)
Are you even listening? Hello, Rooster?
(growling)
(roaring)
(intense music)
Cold hearts and cold shoulders
Guess we're calling
it a goth girl summer
(wind roaring)
Guess we're calling
it a goth girl summer
(wind roaring)
(intense music)
(insects chirring)
[Boss] Fucking call me back, asshole.
(cat purring)
(eerie music)
(serious music)
(ducks quacking)
(crew and hosts laughing)
Oh, Chris, those ducks sure know
how to win a dance battle, don't they?
I'd take a quack at em.
(both chuckle)
I guess the bill's in the mail.
It's like water off of a duck's back.
(crew coughs dryly)
Alright, let's take a look
at your weekend forecast.
June, how's it looking?
We've got a bit of a gloomy
weekend coming up, Chris.
We can expect to see clouds
rolling in early this morning
and it looks like they're here to stay.
But before we discuss
today's highs and lows,
let's take a look at yet
another weather phenomena
that occurred right here
in our very own town.
A second tornado in the
past 48 hours touched down
and then suddenly
vanished on Ocean Avenue.
It begs the question,
what's causing this
strange pattern to occur?
Damage was minor but d...
(ominous music)
Sorry, so sorry.
Today's high will be in the mid 70s
with a low around 65.
Don't cancel those outdoor
weekend plans just yet,
but pack a raincoat just in case.
Chris, Shanta, back to you.
(siren wails)
(grunts) Goddammit.
What?
(couch creaks)
Fucking couch.
(soft dark music)
Oh shit.
(growling)
Trey, you up?
(growling continues)
(tense music)
(cat meowing)
(dramatic music)
(spray can hissing)
(toilet flushing)
Oh...
Hey, good morning.
(Trey coughing)
- Oh, dude.
There's something seriously
wrong with your insides.
Yeah, I was, uh, warming
up the toilet seat all night.
Okay, whatever man. There's
some shit going on outside.
Come check it out.
(spray can hisses)
(Trey farts)
Look.
Dude, is that dead body?
I think so. Wonder what happened.
Want me to go find out?
Nah, it's a whole-ass crime scene.
I'd rather just stay inside
and watch from the comfort of our...
(door creaks)
(police radios chatter)
Dude, check it out. Look.
A man.
Good eye, Jessica Fletcher.
Go ask him if he knows what happened.
Dude, what? No way.
With all the twisted shit
you told me about that lot,
all that harbinger of doom
over there is gonna say,
"This place is cursed.
You never should have come here."
Why? Why would you even say that?
He looks like a nice guy.
Dude. I don't know.
"Texas Chainsaw Massacre,"
uh, "Friday the 13th,."
"Camp Blood," every horror movie ever.
Come on man. Let's just go back
I'm going in.
Yeah, just right in the
middle of my sentence again.
Hey, hey, hey, buddy.
(ominous music)
Oh, uh, uh, my friend and I are amateur,
uh, amateur detectives.
Uh, didn't know if you
had any idea of, uh,
what's going on across
the street over there.
You should not have come here.
What do you mean?
There's a black cloud over Amityville.
This town is cursed.
Uh, okay.
Your soul is doomed. Doomed! (Laughs)
- Did he say the thing?
- Yeah.
(Officer Lipshits sighs)
You gotta want it
Cream Weenie
You gotta gotta need it
With with a Mega-Huge Cola
And a Squirt Soup
Cream Weenie
You gotta get the Cream Weenie, ah
I told you to get out my house!
I'm fucking Gale Thunder.
Show me some respect.
Cream Weenie though.
(hand thwacks)
No-good pieces of shit.
(ominous music)
Oh God. God, please kill my grandsons.
(house rumbling)
(grandsons shouting)
(intense music)
(June sighs)
(energetic music)
(subdued music)
What in the world?
(ominous music)
(thunder rumbles)
(aggressive music)
(thunder crashes)
(aggressive music continues)
(Trey imitates aggressive guitar)
Skull Crusher, baby! Ah!
Showtime.
(Trey farts)
Cool.
Well you can't blame a
fella like me for trying.
I guess not, but I'm happy for you.
You go have fun and I'm gonna stay here
with my beer, the couch, and my phone.
And I'm thinking I'm just
gonna watch some videos online.
Maybe watch a movie later. I don't know.
Well, since you'll be preoccupied,
I guess you won't mind if I
take these out for a spin.
Nah, man. Whip's all yours.
But leave the fucking windows down
because I still can't get that smell out.
Can't make any promises.
But promise me you won't let
the spirits seduce you tonight.
(Trey cackles)
(sighs) I will try my best.
[Trey] Skull Crusher. Ow!
(Jib sighs)
(energetic music)
This ain't PG-13, honey
There is gonna be blood
So let the dirt do what it does
This is your exit wound on drugs
We ain't peachy keen
Or anything listed above
Just can't go back to what it was
The oh, so great reason, "Because..."
A minor set back, jet pack
Get me outta here ASAP
Make that stat
Immediately I see a
much more happier me
I mean it's pretty
good for a four-year-old.
I couldn't draw a skull
like that when I was
Excuse me, miss, do you
think this shirt would fit me?
Oh, my God. Shut the fuck up.
Trey!
(Trey laughs)
What the fuck are you doing here?
I'm here for the merch. What else?
She's paying.
Uh, he's high.
So are you. (Laughs)
What a treat.
I didn't know I was gonna run into
a hot shot TV personality.
Fuck off.
Dude, I'm serious.
It's like you're almost a local celebrity.
Pretty cool. You're big hot shot.
Oh, my gosh. (Imitates gunfire)
Well, it's not as glamorous as it sounds,
but dude, fuck all that.
I'm so stoked to see you, man.
Where's Becks? Is she here?
(sighs) No, my sister is off
at some like fancy
photography exhibit upstate.
I'm just staying at her place
to watch the cat and stuff.
So she chose art snobs over
motherfucking Skull Crusher?
- She's such a Philistine.
- Oh, God. What a sellout.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
She's not the only one,
Miss June Weathers.
Yeah. Well, Brittany June Cummings
didn't quite open the same doors.
I wonder why.
"Attention, Amityville.
This is BJ Cummings here with the weather.
There's a golden shower
headed your way so bundle up."
(chuckles) I wonder why
that didn't work out.
Goddammit. Never change, Trey.
I've tried nothing seems to stick.
How long are you in town for?
Just for the weekend.
My homie drove us here
and he has work on Monday Unfortunately.
That being said, we are throwing a rager
at my sister's place on Saturday.
You should totally come.
Oh, fuck yeah, dude.
- You guys down? Hmm?
- Oh yeah.
Let's all party. (Laughs)
- Yeah.
(phone ringing)
Oh fuck. It's my boss.
One sec.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, Brent. What's going
[Brent] Gale Thunder was found dead
in her home this afternoon.
I'm sorry, did you
just say that she's...
Super dead.
It's very sad. Mourn later.
Right now I need you down at the studio.
It's 10:30 at night.
(sighs) I can tell time, June.
Listen, I shouldn't even be
saying this over the phone,
but rumors are spreading like VD.
We got our hands on some reports
regarding several dead bodies
that have been found around town.
They had one thing in common.
They were all suffocated.
Including Gale.
Now nothing is confirmed yet,
but my gut is telling me
that we're dealing with a serial killer.
The story could break any minute
and when it does, it's ours.
All I need from you is to stand there
and fill the air with
whatever weather bullshit
you can pull outta your ass to kill time.
Does this sound like something you can do?
Uh, yeah. When do you need me there?
Be here in the next 30 minutes.
Welcome to the big leagues, June.
Baculum, out.
(phone beeps)
That motherfucker.
[Trey] What's going on?
Um, uh, apparently our
evening news meteorologist
just dropped dead.
Gale Thunder's dead?
Whoa, you don't have to
drink your beer so fast.
You're not going right now, huh?
I have to.
We're going on live
coverage of a serial killer.
- What?
- Dead bodies
are popping up all over Amityville.
I don't know. My gut tells
me they're missing something.
Hmm.
What is it?
This morning there was a dead body
across the street from my sister's place.
By the DeFeo lot, right?
Yeah.
God, I got a bad feeling about this.
Well, it was great seeing you, Trey.
Yeah. Yeah.
- Enjoy the show, man.
- Yeah.
Hey, you're still coming to
the party on Saturday, right?
I hope so.
Me too. Uh, how much for this?
You still try to buy that weed? We,
[Trey] Uh...
Hey-O!
It's me, Joe Simmons,
and I'm here again
with another one of my
stop and walk videos.
You guys always love when I
go around and hike the trails
and kind of discuss interesting stuff.
I don't know what it is with
it, why you guys like this,
but for some reason
you like to see me walk
and pope around and, well, today
I kinda wanna talk about
something really strange
that's going on that I've
heard people talking about,
which is probably one of
the most ridiculous things I've heard.
And people are legitimately
saying that this is real.
People are saying that there's a tornado,
yes, a (imitates tornado) twister tornado.
It sucks their soul out of
their body and then they die.
So they die soulless.
What the fuck is the point of that guys?
That is absolutely ridiculous.
And I know, I know you guys don't like
when I use foul language in my,
you know, stop and talk videos
'cause they're supposed
to be, you know, positive.
You guys like to get a bite to eat and
(audio grinds)
But this whole tornado thing though,
what a (thunder booms)
(tornado roaring)
(sighs) So fake.
(Jib sighs)
(fly buzzes)
Oh, flies. Geez.
All the time with the flies.
Hm.
(spirits whisper)
(ominous music)
No. Not gonna do that.
I'm above it.
(ominous music)
(sighs) If Trey ever found out,
I'm never gonna hear the end of it.
Trey doesn't need to know.
(subdued music)
Okay. Okay. (Exhales)
Oh, spirits. Can you hear me?
Oh, spirits. Should I
order a pizza tonight?
Oh, spirits. Will Trey ever get laid?
Didn't think so.
(discomforting music)
Spirits. Can you hear me?
(spirits whisper)
What the fuck?
(audience cheering)
What the fuck is up, Amityville?
We're Skull Crusher!
(audience cheering)
(rowdy music)
I'm worthless, you're just helpless
Less than you think
Spend most of my time leaving
You think I'm worse than you
You think I'm worse than you
You're right
You're right
Goddammit, you're right
With blurred faces and blurred lines
You'll ask me to have patience
But I'll have none
You think you're smarter than me
You think you're smarter than me
You are right
(audio warbles)
(Trey groaning)
(attendee laughing)
(growling)
(Trey groaning)
(troubled music)
(Trey farting)
- Oh, my God!
What the fuck?
(attendee retches)
(vomit splatters)
(attendees clamor and scream)
(Trey sob)
(Trey grunting)
Doomed! Doomed! (Laughs)
(Trey yelps)
(Trey farts)
Hey man, you got a
lighter? I was hopin'...
Man, no, I don't have a lighter.
Hey, come on man.
I dipped on that band
too. They fucking suck.
We're out together, yeah?
- Dude, I don't have
a lighter, I gotta, look,
man, I'm touching cloth.
Dude, you're out here,
I'm out here-
I gotta go.
Do you have a fucking
dollar or something man.
I can buy one or something, man.
They got lighter stores, you know?
I just want a fucking lighter, dude.
This is fucking, you
know, I got this whole
Look, $2 bill, man.
It's supposed to be good luck.
(Trey farts)
- Man.
That dude looked like he
really had to take a shit.
(thunder booms)
(wind whistles)
Holy fuck.
(tornado roaring)
I'll give you something
to fucking look at.
- Hey, whoa, whoa.
Please don't hurt me,
please don't hurt me.
Hey, I know you. I've been
hanging around here a few days.
You're Officer Shitlips, right?
No, it's Officer Lipshits
and get on the ground.
You're coming with me.
- Pfft. No.
Get on the ground.
You're coming with me.
Come on.
- Wait. You know what?
No. You're the one who's trespassing.
I'm gonna call the cops on you.
No, please, please don't do that.
Please, please, please.
- We'll see how you like it.
I can't, look, if, if the chief finds out
that I'm doing this again, I'm done.
Okay? I, I'm so sorry.
Please...
- Dude,
you've been fucking poking around here
ever since I got into town.
What the hell are you doing here?
Look man, I'm gonna level with you here.
My wife, I'm pretty sure
she's cheating on me. Okay?
I've been following her. I
know it's a little weird,
but she's been coming in
and out of this apartment.
It's been a few times.
And I just need to know if she's here.
That's all I need to know.
Dude, like I told you,
I don't even live here.
This is my buddy's sister's place
and we're just crashing here
so we can catch Skull Crusher tonight.
Shit. That band sucks.
I know, right?
(radio crackles)
[Dispatcher] Calling all units.
10-67 at Brown and Skid. Backup needed.
Ten-four. I'm on my way.
Okay, listen, I'm gonna
give you my phone number
and if you see her anywhere,
please don't hesitate to call, okay?
Yeah, if I see the person
I've never seen before, I'll,
I'll just call this number.
- Ah, yeah.
I got you. I got you.
- Okay.
There you go.
Wait, this, this is your wife?
Yeah.
She's fine as fuck.
- Come on, man.
- Alright. Alright.
If I see her, I'll let you know.
Alright. Cool.
Again, I, I'm, I'm really
sorry for scaring you.
- Yeah, whatever.
- I, uh, yeah,
have a good night, okay?
Hey, um, when you were,
when you were spying,
did you, did you see anything,
like, freaky through the window or...?
No. Not at all.
Yeah, no. That makes sense for sure.
(subdued music)
(siren wailing)
[Radio] Lipshits,
where the hell are you?
Chief? What's going on man?
There's been a mass homicide.
Bunch of kids dead at some concert
for a band called Skull Cruncher.
- Skull Crusher.
- Who fucking cares?
Get your ass to the
station. We have a suspect.
You did it this time, Garfunkel.
80 dead concertgoers, one survivor?
Doesn't look good to me.
What do you think, Lipshits?
I didn't kill nobody.
We're not saying you did.
Why don't you tell us what happened?
Look, I know how this shit goes.
Don't I get a lawyer? A phone call?
A Mega-Huge Cola?
You are not getting a damn
thing until you confess.
I'm not saying shit
with head pig in the room.
Why don't you get
him a cola? I got this.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Better be cold too, bitch.
Alright.
Garfunkel gets what he wants.
Come on. We're not
saying you did anything.
I can keep you in here
for public intoxication,
but I don't want do that.
Help me help you. What happened?
Fuck. Alright.
I was hanging outside the
club like I always do.
Sometimes the bartenders
throw me a few bucks
to mop the floors when the show's done.
But the band just fucking sucked.
I couldn't take it.
So I went outside to smoke,
the next thing you know
I'm being thrown in cuffs
and then dragged over here.
Is that it?
No, that's not it.
Look, I didn't kill anybody.
You gotta believe me.
It's like it came outta nowhere.
(brooding music)
What came outta nowhere?
The storm, the twister.
It's like it had a mind of its own.
All of a sudden, I felt cold
then it felt like the life was
getting sucked outta my body
and then everything went black.
You expect me to believe
that a tornado came outta nowhere,
sucked the souls out of
80 people except for you.
Why?
I'm telling you, that's what happened.
I didn't kill those people.
If not you, then who did?
I just told you. The storm.
Alright, Garfunkel.
You're gonna need a lot more
luck to get outta this one.
Look, look, wait.
There was a guy.
Who?
I don't know who he
was but he gave me this.
I never seen him before,
but it looked like he
really had to take a shit.
(Trey groaning)
Dude. You scared the outta me.
Trey, you're so sweaty.
It smells like you shit your pants.
Oh, you have no idea. Ow.
Wait, hold up for a second, man.
There's something you're gonna want to
(Trey farts)
Oh. Dude.
Okay. Wait, Trey.
Hold up.
(Trey farting and groaning)
Trey, open up.
Something happened tonight
while you were gone.
(water splashing)
I think you were right
about the spirit board.
I think something, someone, reached out.
Someone breached the
gap from the other side.
(toilet flushing)
Show me.
(jail gate clatters)
He talk?
He did.
Well?
He claims that a sentient tornado came
and killed everybody on site.
Bunch of bullshit. Book him.
Hold on Chief. Look at the guy.
Where's my cola, bitch?
Do you really think that that guy
could take out 80 people?
Just doesn't make sense.
Fair point.
But we you let him go, I
don't want the families
of 80 dead Skull Cruncher
fans banging our doors down.
Media's gonna have a frenzy
when to get a hold of this story.
Then our skulls are gonna
be the ones that's crunched.
Alright, nice.
Look, chief, I need to
go with my gut on this.
He's innocent.
Well, if not him, who?
(brooding music)
I need a name.
(sighs) I'm following a
lead on a guy that was there.
Maybe he can corroborate
Garfunkel's story.
Goddammit, Lipshits,
you're a loose cannon.
You better get this
done. You have 24 hours.
Thank you, Chief.
And Lipshits. Get a haircut.
I will.
Right after I call the guy
who's gonna save this goddamn town.
And then that's when I
heard Lipshits outside.
But I'm telling you, the
damn thing moved on its own.
You're sure?
Look me in the eyes.
Does it look like I'm
messing with you right now?
I don't know.
Do something different with your eyebrows.
I can't tell. Change your face up.
Alright. I believe you.
Okay.
I told you we shouldn't have messed
with that spirit board in the first place.
Spirit Board or not,
that doesn't explain why that
creepy cop Officer Lipshits
was snooping around my sister's apartment.
We need to figure out what is going
No! We don't have to
figure out anything.
I'm not a fucking detective man.
I came here to just relax and
have a solitary peace, and...
Dude, there's been some like bad juju
or something following us the
whole time we've been here.
Yeah.
And I feel like it's just
gonna keep getting worse.
You went to that stupid show,
we saw the empty lot, and we
did what we came here to do.
And, uh, I'm just trying
to get the fuck outta here.
We can't get outta here
yet. What about the party?
No man. No party.
(gentle music)
No party?
No.
(Trey inhales and exhales)
You know, you're right. You're right.
Yeah? For real?
Yeah, I mean it's like you said,
a lot of crazy stuff has been going on.
Might as well quit while
we're ahead. Cut our losses.
We'll put on a cool movie, just relax,
you can get me a beer, and
then tomorrow morning, uh,
you know, we'll get a head start.
We can get the heck outta here.
That sounds perfect.
Just relax man. Everything
is gonna be just fine.
(aggressive music)
[Announcer] This week
on "Deep in the Bush."
[Contestant] It's
lucky I've been finding
all this bear everywhere though
because I haven't found a bear.
(moody music)
(phone ringing)
(knuckles knocking)
(June snorts)
Miss, miss Weathers?
They're ready for you.
We're going live in two minutes.
Shit. What time is it?
Oh, hell yeah.
Weathers, get your to the...
Jesus. You look like shit.
Yeah, well this is the
June weathers you get
when I have to sleep at the office
because of the late-night
emergency broadcast
that went nowhere.
Whatever. Clean yourself up.
We got ourselves a story.
Ugh.
(aggressive music)
No fucking way. Oh my God.
No. No!
(bear roars)
N- n-n-n-no.
Try new Mega-Huge Cola Salt Water.
It's so big!
(blades scrape)
Dude, just pick a channel.
[Advertiser] Chiclets,
who even eats them?
(TV chatters)
(Trey snores)
Cream Weenie!
(children cheer)
What the fuck?
(inquisitive music)
Good morning. And thank you
for tuning into Cox 69 News.
I'm Shanta Steele.
And I'm Chris Callaway.
We're here with breaking
news out of Amityville.
Last night, 80 punk rock fans
of the band Skull Crusher
got together for a live event.
Little did they know
it would be their last.
Everyone who attended the event
has been declared deceased.
Holy shit.
- Huh?
- The scene
is still under investigation
though local police are concerned
this may be the mark of a serial killer.
Early autopsy reports
have shown victims share a cause of death.
Suffocation.
Police Chief Cunningham has this to say,
We have a suspect in custody,
but we are not ruling anyone out.
If you have information
regarding these attacks, come forward.
Dude, we could have died.
This is the sixth incident
in a mysterious string of
deaths over the last 48 hours.
Some of the deceased include:
Internet sensation Joe Simmons
and our very own Gale Thunder.
Dude, something's not right.
In possible related news,
two local women have
been reported missing.
Rebecca Griffin and Jessy
Lipshits were scheduled to
Dude. That's Lipshits' wife.
That's my sister!
[Shanta] If you have any
information on their whereabouts,
please contact local authorities.
Okay. Becca, pick up the phone.
Everything's gonna be fine.
And on a lighter note,
let's talk about sunshine.
Good morning, Amityville.
Today's for (TV clicks)
(Trey panting)
Pick up the phone. Come on.
Becca, I know you're there.
(phone ringing)
Come on. Come on.
[Becca] Hey, you reached Becca Griffin.
Leave me a-
Dude, she's,
she's not picking up.
Lemme make a call.
(phone beeping)
This doesn't sound like her at all.
[Becca] Hey, you've
reached Becca Griffin.
It, it does sound like her,
but it's just 'cause it's her voicemail.
Hello?
[Jib] Is this Dicklips?
What do you want?
[Jib] Have you seen the news?
What news?
It's your wife.
She was with my buddy's sister
and they're both missing.
Officer, there's some crazy
stuff going on right now.
Man, we were messing with a spirit board
Hold on.
[Trey] I have serious anal leakage.
- Slow down, slow down.
- My favorite band is dead.
And now my sister and
your wife are missing.
I have no idea what's going on.
Okay. Alright, alright, I get it.
Just let me think for one second.
What did you say about a spirit board?
We found a spirit board
across the street from my sister's place.
It was, it was at the DeFeo house.
Well, I think you
guys in over your heads.
But I know someone who can help.
[Jib] Tell us where to go.
127 Cliff Avenue.
Bring the spirit board.
(mystical music)
We're on our way.
I'm sorry.
You can do this.
My job comes with a responsibility
that I do not take lightly.
A responsibility to report the weather
using data and facts to keep
you, my community, safe.
The director of this news
station, Brent Baculum,
wants me to smile, look pretty,
and say what I'm told to say.
Even if that means ignoring my gut
and lying to the good people of this town.
But I won't do that. Not anymore.
(serious music)
So here's the fucking truth.
There is a supernatural tornado
killing the people of Amityville.
I don't know what it
wants or why it's here.
A beer for you, sir.
But I believe this all started
with the destruction of the DeFeo house.
I'm sure to some of you,
I sound absolutely crazy.
But if you've lived your entire life
in Amityville like I have,
you know nothing's impossible.
Our town has a dark history,
and unless we accept our reality,
we will all meet the same fate
as those whose lives have
already been claimed.
This tornado has attacked our neighbors,
our family, our friends.
Maybe if I'd spoken up
sooner, they'd still be here.
That's on me.
But I'm speaking up now.
This twister is violent and deadly
on a scale unlike anything
I've ever seen before.
Cut the, cut the feed. What is she doing?
What? Shh.
Cut the fucking feed!
If you can get out, leave.
If you have a shelter, use it.
Because there's one thing I know for sure
we haven't seen the last of it.
Chris, Shanta back to you.
What the fuck was that?
Keep the cameras rolling!
Sit your ass down.
(everyone screaming)
Where do you think you're going?
You're fired, you're fired!
(dark music)
(Jib knocking)
Dude, are you sure this is the place?
This is the address
that Dipshits gave us.
(Trey's stomach gurgles)
Dude, are you alright?
(sighs) I'll be good. Let's...
Dude, I knew it. Never
trust a fucking cop.
Just get outta here.
Were you followed?
Why would we be followed?
(Trey's stomach gurgles)
- Do you have it?
Is he okay?
I'll be fine. It's going back up.
(Trey farts)
Just get inside.
(ominous music)
(wind whistling lightly)
Wow, this place is a dump.
Have some respect.
Boys, I'd like you to meet
Detective Alexandra O'Harahan.
(subdued music)
You know this fucking guy?
Of course.
He's one of the top paranormal
investigators of all time.
Pleased to meet you, detective, sir.
Just O'Harahan.
O'Harahan.
(Trey's stomach gurgles)
(Trey farts)
Oh! Good Lord.
Yeah, you don't get used to that.
[Lipshits] Oh!
Detective, sir, you
mind if I use your, uh...
(eerie music)
(Trey farting and groaning)
Okay. Well.
I, uh, brought the spirit
board, as requested,
and, uh, my friend here
has been having some stomach issues
and that smell really travels, so,
I'm just gonna...
[O'Harahan] You used the board.
(ominous music)
Excuse me?
You felt something, didn't you, boy?
Look, I don't know what your
whole shtick is, detective,
but I'm not into all
this paranormal bullshit.
You can save it.
Then why are you here?
I'm here for my friend.
His sister's missing and
Dicklips says that you can help.
So you tell me, detective, why am I here?
Are you scared, boy?
What? No.
Well, you should be!
Do you know what's out there right now?!
Ever been in the eye of a
storm? Well, you are now.
The tornado.
You believe it's real?
Aye. It's real.
The soul-sucking tornado?
How do you know about it?
Just watching some
streamer talk about it.
Figured he was lying.
Afraid not. If we're
to believe the rumors.
There's a sentient tornado
on a rampage in Amityville.
It's taking victims across the city
with increasing incidence daily.
The biggest of which happened
last night on Skid Street
at the Skull Crusher Show.
(Trey farts)
[Garfunkel] It looked like
he really had to take a shit.
Hey.
You were there.
Where?
Last night you encountered
a man outside of the club.
You gave him this.
I need you to tell me everything you saw.
Uh, I didn't see anything.
Really.
Uh, I was late to the show. (Farts)
Parking was so bad.
Everyone was seeing Skull Crusher.
It's the best band of our generation.
Uh, I saw their first
song "Crushing Skulls."
Then I had to, I had to leave
'cause of my, 'cause my condition.
My diarrhea. (Grunts and farts)
Shit. He needs Pepto.
Look at me, boy! Look at me!
This is no mere diarrhea
you're suffering from.
Oh, I was afraid of that.
I didn't want to admit
it to myself at first,
but I think I have Ebola.
What you have is far worse.
He has the curse of the scourged.
I've seen this once before.
You haven't much time.
Detective, am I gonna die?
If we don't find a
way to stop the storm,
we'll all be dead soon enough.
(Trey grunting)
Fuck.
(growling)
This curse, what else do you know?
Can we save them?
It's an ancient curse.
The scourge are blood relatives
of those who have awakened the damned.
Your sister, she's one
of the missing girls?
Unless we can put the soul of
that which is awoken to rest,
I'm afraid his fate is out of our hands.
Father, please. Tell us what to do.
We need your help.
Bring me the bill.
(Trey farts)
(employees screaming)
What the fuck was that?
You think you're funny, June Weathers?
You think you can make a
fool out of Brent Baculum
and get away with it?
Well, you can kiss the
evening news goodbye.
(worker shrieks)
Brent, (chuckles) I quit.
(door thuds)
You bitch!
Fine. I don't need you.
You'll never work in this
fucking town again. I made you!
You're nothing without me. I made you!
We're all gonna die. Ah!
Get back to work.
You're fired. You're all fucking fired!
Oh, what's wrong, Brent?
Oh, don't frown.
Remember, stay pretty.
- I, I love you.
- Ugh.
She loves you too, Brent. She has to.
Killer tornado? Fucking ridiculous.
(wind whistling)
(glass shattering)
What the fuck?
(thunder booms)
Touche, June Weathers.
(Brent screams)
The bill. It belonged to a girl.
She had hair the color of a glowing ember.
That's Jessy.
She was scared.
It fell out of her pocket
and was left behind.
It was found by a scourged soul.
The scourge passed it
to a man pure of heart.
- Garfunkel?
- Aye.
(spirits whisper)
(O'Harahan gasps)
What is it?
W- what do you see?
(brooding music)
Two women.
One is the girl of ember hair,
the other fair skin, hair black as night.
That's her. That's Becca.
That's my s (stomach gurgles)
That-that, that's my sister.
Wait, I know this room.
There is a third. She
hides in the shadows.
It has them.
(audio whines)
(woman screams)
(blood drips and splats)
(disjointed music)
(hammer thuds)
(spirits whisper)
(brooding music continues)
(wind rustles)
(door clatters)
You're too late.
(hellish music)
Father! Wake up!
Father, please!
(screams) Father!
It's killing them! Hurry!
Father! (Grunting)
(O'Harahan grunting)
I can't hold on much longer!
For he is the minister
of God to thee for good!
But if thou do that which is evil
be afraid, for he beareth
not the sword in vain;
For he is the minister of God,
(tornado growls)
An avenger to execute wrath
upon him that doeth evil!
Be gone!
(Lipshits panting)
Oh, no. Father.
Okay.
Boy, stay with me. Stay with me, boy.
Fuck.
(both panting)
(Jib gasps)
Oh, (laughs).
I thought we lost you.
What the shit was that?
The storm.
Aye.
Detective, what did you see
when you touched the board?
Is my sister, is she okay?
Jessy?
I'm afraid their souls
belong to the storm now.
No. (Sobs)
It won't long before
it regains its strength
and comes back for ours as well.
The spirit board. It's gone.
She has it now.
What does that even mean?
It means it's over.
So that's it, huh?
We're just gonna let this thing go?
Father!
I'm sorry, boys.
No. We can't stop now.
Father, you can, you can do something.
And what would you have me do? Hmm?
(brooding music)
The storm feeds on souls.
But the living fight back.
With that spirit board in
the storm's possession,
it can summon the souls of the dead.
Amityville Cemetery.
Biggest in the city.
In two days time, that
storm will have amassed
an army of souls generations old
giving it strength enough to
wipe out all of Amityville,
maybe even the world.
Well, how do we destroy it?
Did you not hear a word I just said?
We're outnumbered, boy!
Checkmate. End of story.
Goodbye.
(brooding music continues)
Take two drops every hour.
This will stave off the curse.
Good luck.
What the fuck are we supposed to do now?
Dude, let's just get outta here.
No. Dude, we gotta fight back.
Bro, what? It's a tornado.
A tornado that has
my sister and his wife.
We gotta do something. We have no choice.
Yes you do.
You heard Detective A-Hole back there.
It's a fucking suicide mission.
I'm gonna die either way.
I'm not just gonna sit
around here and do nothing.
He's right. We need a plan.
Look, why don't you just shut the up?
You know you talk a lot of shit
for someone with nothing on the line.
And you talk a lot of shit
for a bitch-ass cop who's
getting cucked by his wife.
(tense music)
(Jib grunts)
(blow thuds)
(screams) Fuck you! Piece of shit!
Fucking cop!
(Lipshits grunting)
Guys, guys, guys. Hey, hey, hey.
Come on, come on. Hey, hey, hey.
What's happening?
Are you okay?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Trey, come on. Let's just go.
There's nothing we can do.
You ready?
Fine!
If you want to stay in this shit-hole town
and get your soul sucked out, go ahead.
Who needs you?
(subdued music)
I'm fine on my own.
We're gonna figure this out.
Just drive.
I am running out of air
Trying to keep my pace with you
Holding words you left for me
I am losing what I thought
Would be the best I can be
Living up to fantasy
I don't want to stay alone
I don't want another
debt that needs repaying
I don't want to live a lie
I want some time to be proud
I want happiness but
I am running out of time
Trying to keep my faith that you
Believin' what you said to me
[DJ Boner] You're listening
to Amityville 103.9, The Pit,
a.k.a., your mom.
Oh, it's me, Jon Boner.
Tune in for the best songs all day long.
You're really putting 'em back.
Everything good?
Peachy. Is it always this dead in here?
Oh, you didn't hear?
There's been some kind of
new freak weather phenomena
and everybody's left town.
Right. I heard.
Another round?
Uh, yeah. Lemme just,
uh, double check here.
Uh, say Lloyd, seems
I'm temporarily light.
Uh, how's my credit in this joint anyway?
What!?
The, "The Shining?" You haven't...?
Uh?
(door creaks)
You don't know "The Shining"?
Can you not pay for these?
He's on my tab.
Guardian angel.
(O'Harahan grunts)
Pleasure to see you.
Good to see you, Caleb.
And for you.
You know, to really watch "The Shining."
It's a fucking classic.
(laid-back music)
Alright, grab a slice.
I'm not hungry.
Thirsty.
Nah.
You've lost a lot of fluid
over the last couple days.
You're dehydrated.
Your body's working on
overdrive just to keep going.
You're gonna need your strength
if we're gonna beat this thing.
Whatever that means.
(tincture chimes)
How does a cop know all
this medical stuff anyway?
Jessy's a nurse.
(sighs) Was.
Sounds like a smart lady.
Way too smart for me, that's for sure.
Listen, officer, uh, Jib
was telling me the reason why
you were snooping around
the apartment earlier
and back there at O'Harahan's
place, between you and him.
Things just got way outta line.
And that's, that's not
usually how he acts.
It's not like him at all.
And for what it's worth, my
sister, I know her pretty well.
She's not the type to go fooling around
with a married woman.
I, I know what you're trying
to do and I appreciate it,
but it doesn't matter.
None of that matters right now.
Jessy, your sister...
Becca.
Becca. They're what matter right now.
And I'm gonna make sure that
we put their souls to rest.
I promise.
Thank you.
You know, uh, everything going on,
I don't even know your first name.
I've just been calling you Lipshits.
- Richard.
- Trey.
Nice to meet you, Trey.
(chuckles) Dick Lipshits.
It's amazing.
Fucked up, Right?
Who would do that to their kid?
(air raid siren wails)
(thunder rumbles)
If we're gonna do this,
we're gonna need backup.
Who do you have in mind?
Lipshits, it's about damn time.
What's the update on your perp?
(sighs) I found him,
but he's not our guy.
Just as I thought.
I'll have Randall and Cheeks
process Garfunkel's paperwork immediately.
That son of a bitch is gonna rot.
That's not what I'm saying.
Chief, Garfunkel wasn't lying.
[Chief] Please tell me you're not saying
what I think you're saying.
(subdued music)
The storm is real.
Chief, if, if we don't
stop it now, we're gonna
Lipshits. I'm not doing
this over the phone.
Get your ass back to the station.
Now.
(Lipshits sighs)
No.
No?
It's our duty
to protect and serve
the people of this town.
And I'm not just gonna hide in a hole
when they need us the most.
You know what, Lipshits?
You wanna go gallivanting around
town on a wild goose chase,
be my guest.
I lay the case of a lifetime on your lap
and this is how you repay me?
I'm done with you.
This isn't about the case anymore.
It's about saving Amityville.
And how are you going
to do that, exactly?
I expect to see your gun and your badge
on my desk first thing tomorrow morning.
Goddammit, Lipshits.
Randall? Cheeks?
(wind whistling)
(thunder rumbling)
Randall.
(Cheeks rasping)
Cheeks!?
What the fuck?
Don't be scared, little Pig.
Breathe.
One simple breath.
And all your pain and fear will fade
like a dream in the dark.
(chief shrieks)
(coin clinks)
Ah!
(O'Harahan laughing)
Damn it. How?
Need a wider glass.
You're a master. I'll give you that.
Plenty of practice.
Another round?
You're a glutton for
punishment, aren't you?
It's a lifestyle.
So, O'Harahan, not gonna lie.
My curiosity is getting the better of me
and I just gotta ask,
how do you and Officer
Shitlips know each other?
I mean, I'm not trying to be rude,
just, like, a cop and
a paranormal detective
just doesn't really seem
like you'd associate with each other.
(coin clatters)
Fuck!
I've known Richard for many years.
He was an altar boy
during my time as a priest
at Our Lady of Sorrows.
(coin clatters)
(O'Harahan grunts)
Okay, so you were a
priest. He was an altar boy.
I guess that explains the connection.
Well, there you have it.
So, first you were a priest
and then paranormal detective.
That's, that's quite a life, O'Harahan.
[O'Harahan] (grunts) Who gives a shit?
It's just you seem a bit young.
Do I?
You do.
Hmm. Good genes.
There's another thing.
It's just been stuck in my brain
ever since we left your office.
It's, I can't shake it, it's...
Go on then. Spit it out.
I know this room.
That's what you said when
you touched the spirit board.
Perhaps I was mistaken.
Maybe.
(subdued music)
Maybe you've been in the
to DeFeo house before.
(door creaks and thuds)
Gimme the strongest thing you got.
(coin clinks)
Well, I'd best be on my way.
Leave town while you still can.
What did you see?
(chair creaks)
You said there was a third
in the room and you knew her.
Choose your next words carefully.
I just need to know what
they're getting themselves into.
Please.
There's nothing your friend
can do to stop the storm.
But you can. I felt it.
When my soul was being ripped
from my body, you stopped it.
There's gotta be something you can do.
The tornado is out there right now
gaining strength as we speak.
By the time it reaches the
cemetery, it'll be too late.
Even if I could fight it.
We have no idea where it is.
I do.
And who the fuck are you?
I'm June fucking Weathers,
bitch. Who the hell are you?
Detective Alexander O'Harahan.
You're the a meteorologist.
I've seen you on TV.
Yeah. You're god right you have.
Meteorologist?
What do you know about the storm?
Hey, do you mind if I could
borrow some paper and a pen.
Now, after every attack,
there's been a small storm cell popping up
just east of Lutz Memorial Park.
Now it's undetectable to the naked eye,
but on my radar, I've seen
it appearing on and off
for the past three days.
Trust me, it's there.
Where do you think the storm's headed?
Amityville Cemetery.
Cemetery. Why?
It's after Souls.
(June laughs)
This fucking town.
Okay, let's say that's true.
And we know the storm starts
around here, so that means
it's going to have to head
west in a straight line
to reach the cemetery.
In that case, the best place to cut it off
is going to be right here.
At the lake.
Exactly.
(grim music)
Hey, detective-man, you okay?
I can cleanse it.
Do you trust me?
Not even at all.
I've literally just met you.
[Caleb] Absolutely.
(grim music)
Well, if it's really
the end of the world
and in the spirit of fuck
it, what's your plan?
Well, what did he say?
We're on our own. Fuck!
(subdued music)
(phone buzzing)
Maybe not.
Answer it.
(phone ringing)
[Trey] Hello? Jib?
Trey, where are you?
I, I'm with Lipshits at his house.
Where are you?
- I'm at a bar.
- He's at a bar.
[O'Harahan] Cut to it, boy.
There's no time to waste.
There's no time to waste.
I hear him.
[Trey] Is that O'Harahan?
[Lipshits] Trey, yes.
Who else sounds like that?
Uh, yeah.
Uh, he showed up and we met
some badass from TV who's got...
But none of that matters right now.
Uh, O'Harahan, he's got a plan,
like, we can actually FUCKING end this.
Trey, you there?
Dude, you didn't leave town.
Did you hear what I said, Trey?
We can actually end this thing.
Right. Uh, w-what do we need to do?
Uh, O'Harahan's gotta stop by Mystic Eye
to pick up some supplies,
but we'll explain
everything when we see you.
Tomorrow morning, Lutz Memorial Park.
We'll be there.
Okay, great. We're headed out now.
And Trey, um, listen, uh,
we're gonna make things right
for Becca, for Jessy.
I know.
Hey Jib, thanks and be safe.
You too, Dicklips.
Meet you there.
(Trey's stomach gurgles)
Let's end this.
O'Harahan, you never
answered my question.
Who did you see?
All shall be revealed in due time.
Can you guys cut the cryptic bullshit?
We have a fucking city to save.
So, uh, you guys listen to rap music?
Jesus Christ, dude.
(energetic music)
If I was here without my
friends, it'd be another suck
My family too came through
so it'd be another suck
And sometimes it's with family
and sometimes it's a suck
And in the end, without my
friends it'd be another suck
Suck, suck, suck
Suck, suck, suck
It'd be another
Suck, suck, suck
Suck, suck, suck
It'd be another
Suck
Suck
(air raid siren wailing)
(ducks quacking)
Something's not right. (Stomach gurgles)
It's getting late. Are they coming?
Have faith. They'll be here.
- The curse?
- I'm fine. I'm fine.
(tires screech)
Holy O'Harahan.
(rowdy music)
(rowdy music continues)
- Trey!
- June!
(chuckles) Hey.
Oh, shit, dude. I thought you were dead.
No, no.
Trey, you know June Weathers?
Yeah, uh, we're old friends.
June meet Dick.
- Richard is fine.
Oh, it's nice to meet you Dick.
God, I heard about the Skull Crusher show.
They said everyone who
was there was killed.
How'd you survive?
I had the curse of the squirts.
Curse of the scourge, you twit.
It's good to see you, Father.
You too, my boy.
Still friends?
Yeah.
(June chuckles)
- So Miss Weathers,
how are you here with O'Harahan?
It's a long story.
I went to clear my head at
the old brewery on Misery Road
and I overheard the detective
and his boy sidekick here
discussing a tornado.
Boy sidekick?
Learned we were chasing the same storm.
So thought I'd help.
Done more than helping Miss Weathers.
Yeah. No shit.
Without June here, we
wouldn't have a plan.
Well, we're glad
you're here. All of you.
Don't get cocky, Lipshits.
Whoa, wait. Lipshits?
Like Jessy Lipshits?
I'm her husband. Did you know her?
She was a friend of a friend.
But the reports of Jessy
and Becca, are they?
They were in the DeFeo house
when the first tornado hit.
They're gone.
But they are not lost.
Boy sidekick. The bag.
(soft foreboding music)
Holy water.
One for each team.
Precisely.
Richard and June will take the west bank.
You boys will take the east.
I will intercept the storm from the north.
On my signal, pour the
holy water into the lake.
I will take care of the rest.
If we succeed, the curse will be lifted
and every soul stolen by the
storm will be put to rest.
If we fail-
We won't.
Aye.
O'Harahan, what made you change your mind?
Your friends.
I'm afraid I wasn't completely
forthcoming with you all
about what I experienced at Mystic Eye.
I know I may look it,
but I'm not a young man.
I've spent many years aware
of the evil in this town,
and I'm sad to say, played
my part in its history.
When the first tornado
destroyed the DeFeo house,
a spirit latched itself onto the storm.
I believe that spirit
belongs to my beloved wife.
Are you fucking telling us that you're
Salem Poe!
The Amityville legend's real?
Unbelievable.
It was long ago.
I had just taken a bride, Delilah.
She was beautiful.
I wanted to give her the world.
(disjointed music)
The year was 1924.
(gentle music)
Delilah and I were
expecting our first child,
and so I built us a home.
[Trey] Wait a second.
What about the haunted wood?
- Yeah, the haunted wood?
- The insane asylum.
[O'Harahan] May I continue?
Fuck me. (Clears throat)
We welcomed Henry to the world.
We watched him grow.
And we were happy for a time.
But there was horror to come.
(thunder booms)
(dark music)
A great storm ravaged Amityville.
It claimed Henry's life.
(Henry screams)
In my grief, I turned to God.
Delilah chose a darker path.
She sought revenge against the Lord,
turning to satanic rituals.
I tried to stop her,
but there was a struggle.
(Delilah screeches and growls)
In the end, Delilah was dead
and I was responsible.
I entombed her in the house and fled.
Tormented by my sin, I awaited death
only to find the ritual had
left me cursed, immortal.
(bell tolls)
Seeking penance, I took the cloth,
and with it, a new name.
O'Harahan.
I soon learned Delilah's ritual
also left me with a gift.
By the touch of my hand, I
could see an object's past,
feel a man's pain.
I remained with the church for a time,
but my gift became too much to bear.
I turned to the drink.
As the years slipped away, so did my mind.
I forgot the life of Salem,
Poe, and Delilah entirely.
Until...
Wait. I know this room.
Father!
This is mind-blowing and all,
but she's fucking here.
My God. Delilah!
(weighty music)
Ah!
(gunshots blasting)
Ah, fuck!
(thunder crashes)
This is it! We have one chance.
On my signal, pour your
holy water into the lake.
What's the signal?
Just fucking run.
(thunder booms)
(Trey sobs)
Trey!
Come on man. We gotta keep moving.
I can't. I can't.
Yes you can.
I feel, I feel the other side.
It's the end of the road for me, pal.
No. Fuck that!
Take this, dude.
What, what? What are you...?
You just need more time.
And that's what I'm gonna give you.
(tense music)
Jib!
Dick? Where are we going?
Just a little further.
We're almost there. Just keep pushing.
(groans) I can't see shit!
This wasn't in my forecast.
Nice. (Grunts)
Not good.
Ah, uh...
Goddammit.
(tornado roaring)
(O'Harahan grunting)
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy Name...
(wind whipping)
Hey, ghost lady!
[Delilah] Oh, the boy. I remember you.
Put the spinny boy down!
Look, I know you're pissed off.
I get it.
O'Harahan's a total dick for murdering you
but you don't have to do this.
[Delilah] You want the board?
Come take it.
Oh, fuck me.
(Delilah and Jib grunting)
[Delilah] Your faith is weak, Salem.
Who will save you now?
Delilah, this is not you.
This is not you.
O water, creature of God,
I exorcise you in the name
of God, the Father Almighty,
in the name of Jesus
Christ, His Son our Lord,
and in the power of the Holy Spirit.
I exorcise you so that
you may put to flight
the power of the enemy
and be able to root out
and supplant that enemy
with all of his apostate angels,
through the power of
our Lord Jesus Christ,
who will come to judge
the living and the dead
and the world by fire.
Fuck you, Amityvillenado!
[Trey] Ah!
(uplifting music)
[Jib] Good job, guys.
(Jib screams)
(bright fatigued music)
(bright fatigued music continues)
(bright fatigued music continues)
(bright fatigued music continues)
Jib, Jib!
Jib, come on, man.
(gentle music)
Jib. Jib.
Oh, no, this can't be.
Somebody, oh, Jib.
My best friend, come on, man. (Sobs)
After all we've been through, dude.
We've come all this way. Come on, dude.
Jib, man. Come on. (Sobbing)
(Jib gasps)
Dude? Jib. (Laughs)
You're a lucky fool. (Laughs)
Here.
Did we win?
Yeah. Yeah. Dude, we won.
- That's tight.
- Yeah.
(all chuckle)
Father, we did it. It's over.
Aye.
(wind whispers)
Am I dying or did he just...?
We saw it too, dude.
Fucking Amityville.
Be at peace.
Well, what do we do now?
I think there's only one thing left.
(upbeat music)
I stormed the scene in a
limousine, left in an ambulance
I was sittin' pretty
till I prayed to the city
And I never stood a chance
Held as tight as I could stand
Until I had an itch
Travelin' time
Travelin' time
Travelin' time
Travelin' time
Travelin' time
Travelin' time
Okay. So the power
really comes from your leg.
Follow through straight wrist.
See that, the twisting motion?
Ah.
- Oh, okay.
Some of the, some of the best
fighters are just doing this
until their head pops off.
(Dick laughs)
I like that technique.
So if you are ever
a robot, that'll work.
But while you're human.
(doorbell chimes)
[Jib] Caleb, you made it!
Hey, yo, what's up?
Hey, check this out.
"I'm Johnny." (laughs)
Oh. Oh, that's, that's good.
That's very good. Very convincing.
(laughs) Better not stiff me again,
'cause I'll fucking kill you.
You guys haven't seen "The Shining"?
So, uh, Richard, uh, after
all this, what's next for you?
Well, the storm took a
lot of lives over at APD
and my termination was never official.
So Commissioner Rosenberg
gave me a full-time
position as a detective.
Dude, that's what's up.
Yeah!
Thank you. But I turned it down.
[Trey] What?
I mean, Amityville needs someone
to protect them from the threats unknown.
And Mystic Eye needs a new detective.
Hell yeah, detective man.
Paranormal Detective Dick Lipshits.
Rolls right off the tongue, man.
And what about you?
I mean, meteorologist goes head-to-head
with a deadly tornado.
It's pretty badass. What's next for you?
Been asking myself
the same question, man.
I don't know.
I'm tired of being in the station
working under literal dicks.
And I mean, being out there
amongst the chaos was a fucking rush.
I never really considered it,
but being out in the
field sounds pretty rad.
Yeah.
June Weathers. Storm chaser.
Oh yeah!
That actually rolls off the tongue.
(laughs) Yeah, it does.
Dude, Storm Chasers would
be a pretty good band name.
Smelling what I'm stepping in?
We become the band. Storm
Chasers is the name.
Ooh, that's a terrible
idea. Terrible name.
No, just messing with
you. Just a little joke.
(Trey laughs)
Stick me on vocals!
Vocals, yeah.
Trey, you don't even play an instrument.
I don't need to play an
instrument, dude. I'm a hype man.
Storm Chasers! Ow!
Jib on guitar.
- I don't know.
- June on vocals.
- Mm-mm.
Lipshits on (imitates drums) drums.
Let's do it, dude.
What? You're just gonna learn
how to play the drums now?
(Trey laughs)
Fuckin' A.
I know you have lives to get back to
and you've only been here for the weekend,
but you're doing pretty well here.
You stick around?
You know, Becca always wanted
me to move closer to home.
Maybe we will.
To Becca and Jessy.
To O'Harahan.
The days were so much better spent
Waiting to see some discontent, yeah
Hey, Dick. Let's give
these two a minute.
(Jib sighs)
What a fucking weekend.
Yeah.
Sorry, I, I gotta say something. I
You don't have to say
anything, dude. It's fine.
No, no, I do.
It's, this trip was
just so important to you
and I fucking ruined it.
Like the Skull Crusher
show, the DeFeo house.
Even, even when we found out about Becca.
I acted like a selfish prick
and I should have been a better friend.
I'm sorry.
Dude, you're the best friend I ever had.
Okay, okay. Enough of that.
I gotta go save June and Dick
from the harbinger of doom over there.
- [Caleb] Boo! Boo! (Laughs)
- Yeah, yeah.
I'll be there in sec.
(energetic music)
Fortune teller told me
Things are looking pretty grim for me
Had a million chances to find
out where I'm supposed to be
Kept on pushing my luck and
now it's catching up to me
But I guess that it comes
for all of us eventually
Whoa, oh, oh-oh
Feels like I'm the walking dead
Whoa, oh, oh-oh
With all these ghosts up in my head
Whoa, oh, oh-oh
And if I'm never coming back
Would you just bury me in black
Spelled out my name
on your Ouija board
Heard my heart beating
through your floor
I guess it's time that I make amends
It's time to meet my fiery end
Whoa, oh, oh-oh
Feels like I'm the walking dead
Whoa, oh, oh-oh
With all these ghosts up in my head
Whoa, oh, oh-oh
And if I'm never coming back
Would you just bury me in black
Would you just bury me in black