Arctic Dogs (2019) Movie Script

Way up in the Arctic,
there's a small town called Taigasville.
A remote berg lost in time,
where everyone knows everyone.
That's me.
Right there.
You see?
Swifty's the name.
I'm an Arctic fox.
And my kind evolved
to blend into the environment.
Oh, you see?
There we go again.
So why dressed in all white, you ask?
Well, let's just say
my parents were a little old-fashioned.
To them, being invisible meant being safe.
Out of sight, you're all right.
That's the Arctic fox mantra.
But, for me, being invisible...
Hello, Mr. Musk Ox.
...well, just meant being...
And that's the last thing
any kid wants to be.
All I wanted was to be seen,
to be noticed like...
...these guys.
The Top Dogs.
Duke, Dakota, and Dusty.
Taigasville's biggest celebrities,
and easily the most visible citizens
in town.
Being noticed was never a problem
for them.
I'll fix it.
Hold on a second.
Uh... there you go.
The Top Dog delivery
was cause for celebration.
They were our connection
to the outside world,
through the packages and letters
that they brought us.
And for a town as isolated as Taigasville,
trust me, that really meant something.
Hey there, citizens.
Arctic strong.
Arctic strong!
Hey, this is so cool.
Thanks. Awesome.
Thank you.
Arctic strong!
Excuse me.
Oh, hey there, little girl.
What can I do for you?
Is there anything for him?
Oh, I almost didn't see you there,
little fella.
Let's see.
Nope, afraid not.
Here, what's your name?
There you go, Shifty.
Now, remember kids,
when put to the test, deliver your best.
Arctic strong!
Arctic strong!
Now that's recognition.
Ah, youth.
Warm memories of being cold.
Once Jade left for school,
I turned my focus towards working
at the place of my dreams.
Yep, that's me.
Years later.
Talk about bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
I was finally hired on
as an ABDS junior employee.
Not so fast. Fox go there.
Hey, there.
Welcome to the jungle.
Well, all right, thanks.
I was on my way.
The dream of being a Top Dog,
of being recognized
and standing out from the pack,
was so close that I could taste it!
Yeah, okay, well...
maybe it wasn't that close.
Oh, what is this?
Employee of the year?
And a lingonberry pie in my honor.
You shouldn't have.
FM The Blast.
Good morning,
You're listening to Nasty Naz Narwhal.
Today's gonna be a balmy one,
with a record-breaking high...
...of 34 degrees Fahrenheit.
So pack up those parkas
- and break out the wind breakers.
- Nailed it!
Scientists from around the globe
have been scratching their heads
trying to figure out why the sudden spike
in global temperatures,
which have managed to level off... recent years,
but now, all of a sudden,
pow, it's hot, hot heat out there,
and no one knows why.
That's the bad news.
So how about some good news, folks?
It's Duke's 25th anniversary
with the ABDS.
Yes, siree.
A big shout-out... our favorite mail-carrying canine.
This one goes out to you, big guy.
So, who's gonna be a good boy?
Who's gonna be Top Dog?
Oh, that's you.
And look at me.
Oh, no, it's you. Top dog.
You are... Top Dog!
Come on, come on...
PB, open up.
Wait, what the...
What is that?
Swifty, what are you doing here so early?
I lost my pound.
What pound?
The pound I gained
to hit the 20-pound minimum
to pull the Top Dog sled.
- Well, you can't fight your metabolism.
- I can and I will.
Put to the test,
I'm going to deliver my best. Come on!
Swifty, how have I
put this repeatedly in the past?
- Look out!
- Oh, yes.
Deliveries have only ever been made
by dogs, and you are not a dog.
- What?
- You are a small Arctic fox
who was not meant to pull a giant sled
with even gianter packages on it.
- Are you hearing me?
- What? Yeah, every word.
Come on, buddy.
We've got a found to find. Let's go.
Maybe you should just be happy
with what you have.
I mean, you could break your legs
pulling one of those sleds.
Or catch hypothermia.
Or fall into a crevasse
and have to eat your own feet.
At least I'll be remembered
for something.
The only thing I'll be remembered
for now is not being memorable,
like that other guy.
What guy?
Oh, the work bell.
Oh, no, we're going to be late.
It's going to take forever
to walk from up here.
Who said anything about walking?
Okay, give me a second.
Here we go.
I'm bathing.
- Are you crazy?
- Crazy like a fox!
Take a risk
once in a while. It's good for you.
This is not a good idea!
- Hang on, buddy! I'll get us there.
- Slow down!
We can't slow down in the air.
I think I'm gonna lose a pound.
Come on, PB.
Enjoy the ride!
Too fast.
Watch out!
- We're gonna die!
- We're gonna die!
So you think Jade would ever go out
with a fox like me?
Really? Now you're talking about this?
She's been back for a year now
and you haven't done anything.
A year? Well you know,
these things are all about timing!
Watch out!
Look out!
- Swifty, what are you doing?
- Hey there, Jade. Hi, how's it going?
See? Like I said, we made it.
Yeah, better not let Magda see that.
Magda see everything.
PB on line.
Swifty, my office, now.
What are you looking at?
Extremely... adequate.
Up from last year's
competently sufficient,
but down from the year before's
satisfactorily appropriate.
Still, no promotion for you this year.
Now, get back to work.
Magda, I...
I've worked really hard for this.
- I mean this... It's not fair!
- Life is not fair.
Is it fair that I have to run business
with antique equipment and employees
who are only extremely adequate?
Is it fair that ex-husband run off
with wild elk ten years younger? No!
I'm sure I had nothing to do with that.
Was that an earthquake?
Don't try to change subject.
I know you have big dream
of being Top Dog, but you're not dog.
You're just fox.
Did you have to say "just a fox"?
Couldn't you just say "a fox"?
I mean the "just" thing
is really kind of...
Look, what if I just had
a small delivery route?
- Just a little one?
- Nyet.
I run serious business here.
I didn't say anything.
I'm okay!
So how did it go?
It was promising.
Very... Very promising.
All right, team,
let's get ready for the daily slog.
Arctic strong.
- Yeah, yeah... Arctic strong.
- Arctic strong.
Game faces, guys.
Three, two, one.
- Arctic strong!
- Whoo-hoo!
I swear that's gonna be me one day.
Not on my watch.
Back to work!
That's one.
That's two.
That's three.
I don't know how much longer
I can take this, PB.
You just need to learn
how to go to your happy place.
Take a look at Lemmy over there.
He's in his happy place all the time.
Here, I'll help you get started.
Plus, you never know
what's around the corner.
Jade is around the corner.
Yeah, right.
Wait, what?
No, she can't see me like this.
What do I do?
You just be yourself.
Lemmy, what have you got for me?
Oh, boy.
Hey, PB. Lemmy.
Where is Swifty?
Oh, hey, Jade.
Give me a second, would you?
I'm sorry, Nasty Naz Narwhal,
I don't have time for a radio interview
for tomorrow morning's show.
I know. I realize that all my fans
want to hear from me,
but they're just going to have to take
a number and get in line, right?
'Cause when Swifty says he doesn't
have time, he doesn't have... time.
So famous you don't need
to plug your phone in?
Okay, I gotta go.
'Sup, Jade?
Hey, is that my coffee maker?
Oh, yeah.
I re-tempered the glass on the carafe,
added a hydraulic press,
and juiced up the tiered percolation unit.
Does it still make coffee?
Yes, PB. It still makes coffee.
Now, please tell me I didn't miss
the delivery cut-off time.
Sorry, Jade.
The delivery run done already begun.
I have to get
this package out this morning,
and I would have been here earlier,
but someone dumped a pile of snow on me.
Snowbody's perfect.
Lemmy, can you fly up
and see how far Duke is?
Oh, no. Uh-uh.
Lemmy don't play that.
Lemmy doesn't do flying.
Wait, but you're an albatross.
I thought albatrosses were great fliers.
Okay, first, it's albatrosseses.
Second, don't go labeling me.
It's my job.
I can deliver that for you.
What, are you a Top Dog now?
I... Well, I'm in training.
Working my way up, but by this time
next year, I'm taking over Duke's spot.
I mean, you're looking
at the next lead dog
for the Arctic Blast Delivery Service.
Right, PB?
Tell her.
Well, nothing's official yet.
He knows.
Oh, ah!
Oh, no, it's gonna blow!
Lived it!
That darn sorting machine.
I'll take care of it.
Just please remember
to handle that delivery with care.
You got it, Jade. It's my job.
Your package is safe with me.
Lemmy, show me
where Magda keeps those old sleds.
Whoa, mama.
Tell me I can do this.
There is no way you can do this.
Reverse psychology, nice.
This doesn't look good.
What are you talking about?
This is beautiful.
Yeah, I never seen
rust and mold shine like that.
If Magda finds out you took this,
she might actually destroy you.
Just cover for me, okay?
I'll be back before Magda
even knows it.
I got the package, I got a sled.
I'm ready to go! Wah!
What else do I need?
Besides a tetanus shot?
You'll need this.
- Right, for autographs. Good thinking.
- No.
Customer signatures.
And that, too. I knew that.
Are you sure about this, Swifty?
What's the worst that could happen, right?
My first delivery
to the middle of nowhere.
- Thanks, Jade.
- Thank you.
Couldn't have been
three blocks away, no.
Yes, who is it?
Arctic Blast Delivery Service.
I have a package for... Mr. Occu Pant.
Just leave the package by the mailbox.
Yeah, sorry, I need a signature.
I've never had to sign before.
It's official procedure.
Since when?
Since procedures became official, sir.
- What?
- Oh, you know... I can wait.
I can wait a long time.
I can wait
until the cows come home.
I can wait until the pigs, donkeys,
the frogs and the turtles,
and the, you know...
Wait, do turtles even come home?
I mean, technically,
they're kind of home already, right?
Home's on their back.
Stop, please. Stop, for goodness' sake.
Oh, I'm a puffin
and I will sign for the package.
Thank you.
Here... Here you go, ma'am.
Or sir.
Or either way is fine.
Just give it here.
Oh, okay,
I got it.
Oh, wait. Oh!
Right then,
Mr. Official Procedure. Where do I sign?
Right there, Mr. Occu Pant.
Hey, I love puffins.
Wow, look at those little guys go.
What are they doing?
Aren't you a fuzzy little nosy parker?
Isn't there a delightful maxim
about how curiosity killed the cat?
Well, it's a good thing
I'm a Top Dog then, isn't it?
You? You're just a fox.
There's that "just" again.
Look, no time to talk, sir.
I've got to head back to headquarters
to continue my duties.
Top Dog!
Thank you very much.
Those Top Dogs are becoming a nuisance.
Something will have to be done about them.
Hey, Swifty.
Hey. Hi.
I made sure your package got delivered.
No mistakes, no delays,
custom holdups, nothing.
Sure was far out there though,
wasn't it?
I mean, really, really far out there.
I must say I'm impressed.
That's about as efficient a delivery
as you'll find anywhere.
Well, I guess you would know, right?
Miss Worldly Traveler.
You've been just about everywhere.
Well, not everywhere.
Well, almost everywhere though, right?
What's it like out there
in this big, wide world?
Big and wide.
And hot. Too hot.
I missed the Arctic air.
Is that why you came back?
That, and this is my home.
I mean, it was funny.
There I was, going to
all these amazing engineering schools
in all these exotic countries,
and as the months turned into years,
for some reason I...
I just kept thinking about home.
And then it hit me.
My heart was here...
in Taigasville.
Must have been exciting though.
That's Spanish for,
"Yes, it was very exciting."
Oui, oui.
That's French.
I know, that's...
I'm just saying it,
you know, I...
I'm fluent in... in all the fluencies too.
So what do you...
What do you got here?
I'm just putting the final touches
on the town snowblower,
and I've upgraded it
to a three-stage power system
with hydro-static transmission
and a gross torque of 56 pounds per foot.
Right, wow.
Fifty-six pounds of feet.
Whoo! That's a lot of feet.
Yeah, now have you considered adding,
like, flame decals on the side?
You know, wouldn't that be... hot?
I'll think about it.
All right, well, look, I should just
get going before I keep talking.
Okay. Sure.
Hey, Swifty.
Thanks for delivering
that package for me.
Sure, sure.
Anytime, Jade.
So Jade, I was thinking,
do you wanna go out sometime?
We could... Come on, Swifty. Come on!
Hey, Jade.
Hey, Ja...
Looking good, Swifty.
Ah! Oh...
- No, no, no, no, no...
- Whoa!
I am freaking out, man!
What took you so long?
Oh, you should have seen me!
That was amazing.
I was, like, swooshing and whooshing.
I was all like, "Sign here.
Here's your package, sir."
They were like, "Thank you," and I was
like, "You're welcome, Mr. Occu Pant."
And there were these little puffins.
Oh, there are so many...
Swifty. Where have you been?
I was... out.
Out delivering packages?
No, no, not exactly.
No, it was a...
single package.
Aha. You lie.
Wait, I was just answering
accurately, right?
I mean accuracy...
is important, isn't it?
All right, who sold me out?
I didn't know it was a secret.
You said you got promoted to a Top Dog
and, let's see, what else?
Shh, shh!
You said something
about replacing Duke...
This Lemmy, you know, he's...
That's it. Fox break rules and tell lies
to everybody about promotion.
Fox never get promotion
so long as Magda here.
Fox suspended from official ABDS work
until further notice.
Suspended? Really?
What are you looking at?
Yeah, I feel you, bro.
I don't know about you guys,
but I'm looking forward to 40 winks
of good old-fashioned shut eye.
Yeah, my dogs are barking all right.
Can you believe Swifty today?
Getting caught stealing that old sled.
If that fella had an inkling
of what this job actually entails...
Let the little guy have his dream.
He's not hurting anyone.
Well, what have we got here?
Hello, little guy.
Are you lost?
You want us to call your...
Ninety-nine FM The Blast.
Good morning, Taigasvillians.
You're listening to Nasty Naz Narwhal.
Temperatures continue
to rise at freakish speeds
causing world leaders
to scramble for a plan.
Well, Naz got a plan for you.
Slap on the bathing suit
and grab that pia colada.
It's pool party time!
No return address.
What kind of delivery is this?
- Special.
- Hey, whoa.
Let me out! Hey, let me out!
What's going on?
Quiet, we ask the questions here.
Explain this.
It's a feather.
A feather from perhaps a puffin!
Probably from the puffins
that work for that walrus.
- You got some sunglasses?
- Walrus?
Take note.
This is new intelligence.
It appears the shadowy conspirators
are finally coming to light.
- Shadowy conspirators?
- Oui.
Something very bad
is going on in the Arctic.
Ever since the puffins turned up,
so has the heat.
Look, I just met them when I delivered
a package to their place up north.
He knows where they live!
Do you think he's telling the truth
or could he be one of them?
Why would he tell us
about their whereabouts
if he was one of them? Hm?
This is true.
- It is official.
- Ah!
He must become one of us.
Commence the initiation ceremony.
What'd you do that for?
That was the initiation ceremony.
Well, that's a terrible
initiation ceremony.
Okay, fox, welcome to the team.
You are now part of la Rsistance.
I am Bertha
and this is my life partner, Leopold.
And together we uncover conspiracies.
- An honor to meet you, Mr...
- Swifty.
- Swifty!
- What?
You're about to be assigned
your first mission.
Do you see?
Well, that is weird.
I wonder what's going on?
Don't we all?
Find out what kind of happening
is happening down there.
Okay. Well, I'll start
the recon mission right away.
The truth...
she's out there.
And you must bring her to us.
Okie dokie, guys.
Well, it's been real.
Vive la Rsistance. Fight the power.
- We shall not be assimilated.
- Exterminate, exterminate.
- He is a strange fellow.
- Oui.
Hey, we didn't get
our hospital supplies today.
What's happening?
No deliveries today.
No deliveries?
Who's gonna tell Doc Grizzly?
Swifty, what are you doing here?
- What's going on?
- It's the Top Dogs.
They quit.
- What do you mean they quit?
- He means like Splitsville.
Gonestown. Vamooselvania. Look.
"Sorry, moose lady. We quit."
No Top Dogs, no deliveries.
No deliveries, no ABDS.
What will Magda do?
And Magda not moose. Magda caribou.
You're not thinking...
You are thinking.
I hate when he's thinking.
Magda, I've been waiting
my entire life for this moment
and you're not going
to turn me down again.
Now, I'm going out there.
I'm taking a sled, delivering packages
whether you like it or not.
Why? Because when put to the test,
we deliver our best!
I stepped in your ink pad
and made little footprints
all over your desk, didn't I?
Well, it doesn't change the fact
that I'm going out there today,
you understand?
All right.
Just get filthy paws off desk.
Whoo-hoo! Yes!
Magda, you have made
the smartest decision of my life!
- Swifty!
- Yes?
Magda bend rules one time.
If fox screw up, miss one delivery,
damage one package,
or even lose single pen
that belongs to office, that's it.
You're done here forever.
Don't you worry, Magda.
You won't regret this.
Your pen's safe with me.
Pen's safe.
Magda regret this already.
All right, everybody.
Top Dog here, ready for action.
What? Really?
Yeah, really, PB. Really.
Now, what'd I tell you guys?
Okay, everyone here?
Listen up.
Now, let's go get those doors open.
It's showtime.
I got my game face on. How's it look?
Door, please. Top Dog here.
Game face.
I'm ready. You ready? Let's do this.
Hook me up, PB.
Let me come with you, to help pull.
Come on, no way. Not gonna happen.
If you feel faint or a cramp coming on,
don't hesitate to just leave the sled...-
I stretched. Don't worry about it.
Would Duke do that?
No, I think not,
'cause you're about to see the magic show
in three and a two and a one and shoot..
Ooh, oh... Oh.
Ninety-eight, 99, 100.
Ah! Yeah, okay, that's the third set.
Did Magda change her mind
about the suspension?
Let's just say she picked
the right canine for the job.
I gotta tell you, sure feels nice
being recognized more than just a fox.
I'm just a fox.
Yeah, but, no, no, you're a fox.
Well, no, that sounds weird too.
You're great.
Everyone loves how you do
the gadgets and trinkets and...
the stuff.
Gadgets and trinkets?
You have anything
that needed delivering?
Is this for real?
You're not pretending?
That's so... No, not pretending.
Not at all.
Hundred percent,
super-duper Top Dog here.
I know it must be hard to stay calm
in my presence.
Don't worry, I'm getting used to it.
Here you go.
This one is even more important
than the last one.
Jade, all of your packages
are important to me.
Can I ask you something?
Yes, of course.
Would you like to...
get a four percent discount
on your next delivery?
Just gotta get going here.
Then it's smooth sailing.
I think I'm going uphill. Are we uphill?
Ooh, oh! Whoa!
I hope he makes it back okay.
I hope he doesn't hurt himself
pulling that sled.
I hope someone figures out
why all the beavers have Italian accents.
Here you go.
Why don't they make smaller sleds?
Kidnapping the Top Dogs
was not an order.
How dare you carry out such an operation
without my permission!
Now that the Top Dogs
have seen our operation,
we can't let them go, can we?
They know too much.
So, who will deliver Jade's packages
to me now, you bird brains?
Ah! There's my favorite delivery pup.
Yes, sir. Got another package for you.
Your timing couldn't be better.
Whatever you say. Just sign here
and you're good to go.
Wow, how many puffins
have you got in there?
Oh, I'm not about to discuss the specifics
of my nefarious plans with you.
Wait, what? Nefarious... plans?
Oh, did I say nefarious?
I meant hilarious.
Oh, we're starting
an all-puffin aquatic cabaret.
You should see our collection
of swimming caps.
Swimming caps.
I thought you weren't discussing
any specifics.
Look over there.
Hey, wait, no. You still have my pen.
No, I don't.
Now, go away.
I'm sorry.
It looks like you got another package
out here on the sled.
Oh, all right. Please wait.
Go retrieve the package.
That's a little aggressive
for a cabaret show.
Jade, what have you gotten yourself into?
Meeting time, puffins. Let's go.
Gallop and carry your wits. Hurry up.
What the...
Once we finish the preliminary
core sampling and pre-boring
on the outskirts of town...
...we shall sweep in from the north,
a united cold front.
A high-pressured systematic attack
will rain down on those unsuspecting fools
as our thunderous machine twists
into the heart of town.
- Yes!
- Any questions?
Oh, for goodness... Good-bye.
The delivery! Middle of nowhere! Puffins!
Swim caps! Since wo...
Heya, Swifty.
Congrats on your first delivery run.
Way to go, bud.
Yeah, listen. There is something
going on out there...
Hold that thought.
There's something I wanna show you.
- What the...
- The Top Dog returns. Oh, yeah.
- Guys! You have to listen...
- That's my boy.
- Yeah!
- Jade, I need talk to you.
Okay. All right.
- You the man!
- Way to go, dog.
All right!
There's my number one star.
Look, I just need to tell you... W... Wait.
- Number one star?
- Of course.
Quite honestly, Magda thought fox
would throw packages in ocean, so...
good job.
Oh, thanks.
You even brought back pen.
You've earned it.
Okay, back to party.
- Hey! Hey!
- Congratulations, Swifty.
Hey, all right, you hear what she said?
Number one star, y'all. That's me.
I got a pen.
- Swifty?
- Yeah. Yeah...
You wanted to talk to me.
Oh, yeah, but I gotta give the fans
what they want.
Hang on, just one second.
Yo, everybody.
Who let the dogs out?
Let me hear you say hey.
Come on!
Rock on! Yeah.
Hold on. Look, just a minute.
I'll be right back.
- Jade! Wait. Wait a second.
- Oh, is it my turn now?
I gotta tell you what I was trying to tell
you earlier. Those packages that you...
That's what you wanted
to talk to me about?
No! Well, yeah.
Look, something's going on...
You know, Swifty,
ever since I got back,
it just seems like you've been trying
to act like someone else.
What's wrong with being yourself?
Come on, Jade. It's...
I'm Top Dog.
- My dream has come true.
- What's wrong with that, right?
Yeah, I get it, Swifty.
I'm glad you finally got what you wanted.
Come on, Jade...
Come on back, hero.
We've got some celebrating to do.
You saved the day.
You're flying high, bro.
This is your night! Enjoy it.
Party time.
Oh, yeah!
Is someone there?
How did you get in here?
Ninety-nine FM, The Blast.
Hey, hey, Taigasvillians.
We got another cooker outside today
at 41 degrees Fahrenheit.
Gotta say, I am loving this thaw.
Best thaw I ever thaw!
- Hey!
- Oh.
And a big shout out
to Taigasville's newest Top Dog,
We finally have a replacement
for that old chestnut Duke.
- Maybe things will actually get delivered
- Oh...
- on time now.
- Oh...
Has anybody seen my self-respect?
There's the guy.
Come on, buddy. It's showtime.
Don't you yearn for the burn?
I'm getting ready to blast my abs
and max my glutes!
No offense, but you look awful.
Are you keeping hydrated?
What's your electrolyte count?
Wait, PB, come on.
Just time out for one second.
Be stronger than your excuses, Swifty.
Let's go!
We're jogging to work today, big guy.
PB, what do you think is causing
all this warm weather suddenly?
Don't know, buddy. But I'm loving it.
Hey, Swifty. Hi, Swifty. You're the best.
- Hey, can you sign this?
- Okay. Yeah, okay.
- Yeah, here you go.
- Thanks.
- Aren't you worried?
- Worried?
I signed up for hot yoga this afternoon.
It's gonna be cooking.
What about the earthquakes?
You know, I saw something
while I was delivering Jade's package.
Focus, Swifty! Fountain rounds.
PB, there's this huge hidden lair
out in the middle of nowhere.
- I love you, Swifty.
- Hey, Swifty.
- Over here, Swifty.
- Can I get an autograph?
Yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Here you go.
Can I get your picture?
All right, that's enough!
Sorry, kids.
Uh? Uh...
Hey, Top Dog. What gives?
Don't call me that. I don't deserve it.
Sure you do, pal. You've worked hard.
No, I only got the chance
because Duke and the others disappeared.
They didn't disappear. They quit.
That's just it.
- I don't think they did.
- What do you mean?
I think something is going on, PB.
I'm all ears.
There is this crazy walrus
with robotic legs and a British accent.
I know, weird, already, right?
Okay, it gets better.
Now, they're holed up in a secret fortress
filled with adorable,
yet evil, little puffins
that are building
a huge machine which I think
may have something to do
with the rising temperatures.
And I saw harnesses in a garbage can
which makes me 90% sure the Top Dogs
have been dog-napped,
and there are sleeping gas blasters.
It's weird, man!
I'm just telling you!
- I sound like I'm crazy, don't I?
- Certifiable.
How about now?
Do I sound crazy now?
You gotta believe me.
Why don't you believe me?
Because for years you've been stretching
the truth to get attention, that's why.
And quite frankly, I've had enough.
You don't have to make up
a bunch of stuff to impress me.
I'm not Jade.
Are you listening to me?
Yes. Oh, wait, no! What?
I forgot about Jade.
They're using her to build the machine.
- Who?
- The walrus.
The one with the robo-legs?
- Yes.
- Okay, that's it.
You need to go see Doc Grizzly.
I don't like him. Come on, PB.
I'm... Look, I'm sorry, okay?
- I just need you...
- You always need me to do something.
Well, I need to get to work.
That's what I need to do,
but you're probably not listening anyway.
You never do.
- Closed due to flooding?
- Hm.
Lemmy, get mopping.
On it like a baby bonnet riding a comet.
Oh, yeah.
Ah! Who put that wall there, man?
Water everywhere.
Jade need to fix machines.
I call, but she no answer phone.
I'll go get her.
So reliable, that fox.
Lemmy, mop is for cleaning,
not for licking!
"Dear Jade,
our machine is almost complete.
As promised, I shall reveal it to you
once the final piece is finished.
In the meantime,
rest assured that your name
will go down in history
alongside the world's greatest engineers.
Without the parts you've built,
none of this would have been possible.
World's greatest engineer."
I knew it!
Who's going to believe me?
Agent Swifty. He's back.
Did you bring intel?
I brought intel, out-tel, up-tel
and down-tel. Let me tell.
Do tell.
So the walrus and his puffins
kidnapped the Top Dogs.
And Jade, who's been building parts
for his machine.
- Agent Swifty.
- Yes.
You are truly one of us now,
and it is time for you to see
behind the curtain.
It's all here, every suspicious happening
in the Arctic
since the puffins first appeared.
We knew something was going on.
We just didn't have
all the pieces of the puzzle.
Wait a minute. What is that?
I've seen that before.
The walrus has the same map in his lair,
only there's a big X over Taigasville.
It shows where the puffins
have drilled so far.
Drilled for what?
The gas!
Biolipadium Aradithic Dipsodium gas.
B-A-D. BAD gas.
Very bad gas.
Unknown to the establishment.
Denied by the establishment.
It is prehistoric.
It is mutant.
It is hot and incredibly stinky.
If allowed into the atmosphere,
it would speed up global warming,
and melt the ice caps within minutes.
So those weren't earthquakes.
It was the puffins
drilling into the underground pockets,
releasing gas into the atmosphere
to heat it up.
There must be a big one
right underneath Taigasville,
and that mega drill they're building
is so they can reach it.
The truth. She's in here.
We've got to do something.
We could go to the puffin camp
beyond the hills, perhaps find new intel.
It's far. What do you say, Agent Swifty?
Vive la Rsistance.
Hey, come on.
I've already been initiated.
It's also the secret handshake.
I'm really beginning to hate this club.
There it is.
The truth lying naked...
...before your eyes.
All right, Bjorn, start the drill.
Go ahead.
Go on then.
I'll just be over here,
enjoying the view from behind this...
Hold onto your whiskers.
Oh, that smell.
It's like the planet made a poopy.
Maybe they didn't notice.
I think they noticed.
Good morning, Ms. Jade.
I'm really sorry about the present state
of the accommodations.
Certainly not befitting
of the greatest mechanical engineer
north of the 47th parallel.
Who are you?
Who am I?
Eh, perhaps my biographer Anders here
can illuminate you.
Oh, Anders.
Well, anyway, you may know me as OVW,
the world's greatest engineer.
You're the one
I've been doing all the work for?
Indeed, and I'm so very thankful for it.
However, we're on a tight schedule
and seeing as though the mail has become,
how shall I say,
not entirely dependable these days,
I decided to have you work in house.
You kidnapped me.
Well, we prefer the term
surprise relocation, so...
Now, as promised,
I will reveal what we've created
once it's complete,
and for that to happen,
I need one final piece of the puzzle.
I need you to make the control panel.
In any case, time is ticking.
Oh, and I'd really like the main button
to be fuchsia.
Can you do that, please,
a fuchsia engage button?
To work, my dear. To work.
Oh, you'll get
your control panel all right.
And a little something extra too.
- We made it.
- Time to expose the conspiracy.
Come on out.
There's something I need to tell you.
Let's wake up!
Everybody wake up.
Everybody come out.
- Swifty, where have you been?
- Where's Jade?
It'll all become clear in a minute.
First I want to introduce you
to some friends of mine.
- La Rsistance!
- Bonjour!
Guten Morgen, everyone.
- Now listen.
- We're listening.
Ah! Stop doing that.
They are drilling all around the Arctic.
- Who?
- The puffins.
What puffins?
The ones in the pictures I took. Look.
They are going to use the BAD gas
to melt the ice and snow.
Oui. The BAD gas beneath Taigasville.
Ah, BAD gas. I love it.
What about Jade?
She's with them.
- Who's them?
- Them are the same as they.
BAD gas.
Who is they?
They is the walrus.
Wait, what walrus?
This walrus.
I thought Paul was the walrus.
Magda know Otto von Walrus all too well.
Many years ago, before you worked at ABDS,
Walrus was employee.
Before that, he lived in ocean,
obsessed with idea
of fame and immortality,
confusing his crazy for genius.
For years,
Walrus present his cuckoo ideas...
...until they kick him out.
Resentment grew inside Walrus,
bitterness, all-encompassing...
until one day, Walrus find the ABDS.
Magda take him in.
Then ideas start.
So many ideas.
Walrus present innovations,
modifications, never ending, like mail.
At first they were good.
[gear cranks[
Make processes better.
Magda promote him,
but then came pneumatic tube system,
powered by crazy gas.
The system was brilliant, yes, and would
revolutionize global mail delivery,
but gas was also dangerous.
If you were to lick,
the results would have been catastrophic.
Walrus go postal.
Magda fire him same day.
Look, Magda,
you can't blame yourself for crazy.
We just have to find a way to stop him.
Fox know Walrus lair best.
Fox must lead.
You know, I...
- You think that I...
- Magda know.
Fox lead.
if we don't stop the walrus,
the Arctic will melt
and Taigasville will fall into the ocean.
We have to band together,
kick down the door,
and open up an ice-cold can
of Arctic justice.
How's that taste, Lemmy?
Now, who's with me?
Magda with you.
Vive la Rsistance!
Me too, I'm in. Yeah!
Vive la Rsistance.
Viva the resis-dance.
This is all pretty unbelievable, Swifty.
Very much so, I know.
But I'm always there for you, buddy.
You know that.
Count me in.
Thanks, PB.
How are we supposed to get there?
We're gonna drive
right through the front door.
Then what?
Inside, right next to the door,
is a wall of sleeping gas blasters.
- Where else would you put 'em, man?
- Exactly.
Everyone grabs a blaster.
We start gassing.
They all go nighty-night.
Bertha and Leopold
will hack into the mainframe
where we find Jade,
Duke, and the others are being held.
We rescue them, round up the bad guys,
bada-bing, bada-boom.
Justice served. How about ya?
What could possibly go wrong?
- No!
- Oh.
Yeah, well, this wasn't part of the plan,
but everyone's okay. Right?
- Oui.
- Yeah.
- Kind of.
- Barely.
No! Not okay. We're trapped.
Duke, Dakota, Dusty.
They got you too, huh?
This is great!
I mean, well it's not great that we're all
stuck in here, but we're all together.
Right? You can help us all escape now.
Look, little fella,
you can't defeat these guys.
- There's no way.
- What?
What are you guys talking about?
You're Top Dogs.
Taigasville needs you. You're heroes.
We're three overworked mutts
who just want to retire somewhere warm.
With a beach.
And those coconut shell drinks
with the little umbrellas in them.
What happened to
"when put to the test, deliver your best"?
You kids, you grow up idolizing us
thinking we're larger than life.
But the truth is...
we just deliver the mail.
Look, the show's over kid.
We're done.
It's finished.
I've done what you've asked.
Now let me go.
Yes, well, I have
some other ideas about that.
First, as promised,
I'd like to fill you in
on what all your work
has actually been used to build.
A drill?
A colossal drill,
to smash through the heart of Taigasville,
burrow eight miles below the surface...
...and puncture a pocket
of ancient pre-Cambrian...
gas to melt the polar ice caps.
Ever since I was a pup, I've tried
to make the world a better place
by way of my limitless genius.
But the world's rejected that gift
again and again.
Well, now it's my turn to take back.
The Arctic will fall
and the world along with it!
Then we'll see who comes running
to my doorstep for help.
We'll see who's rejected then!
If you're such a genius,
why do you need me
to make a control panel for you?
I had such high hopes for you, my dear.
You were going to have the honor...
of being my apprentice,
but it turns out you're just
like all the rest of them, aren't you?
Ah, well, you've chosen your fate then.
What button was it again? They all look
the same, just like those bloody puffins.
Ah, yes, here we are.
Swifty. PB. Lemmy.
What are you doing here?
We came to save you and stop the walrus.
Totally failed.
Are you all right?
Don't trust her, Swifty.
She works for the walrus, remember?
I didn't know what I was building! I...
Where was she all those years?
Huh? Off planning with the walrus.
It's not true.
You don't believe that, do you?
Why did you keep making the parts
for him all the time, Jade?
I mean...
why didn't you clue in?
Because I didn't know, Swifty.
Look, I saw the letters you got from him.
"Rest assured,
your name will go down in history.
Jade, world's greatest engineer."
He played you, Jade.
He knew what buttons to push
and you let him.
- I'm sorry. If I had known...
- It's okay.
I get it.
That's what I wanted after all,
the same thing.
And once I got that in my head,
I couldn't see anything else.
It's like I had blinders on.
So, yeah, I get it.
But it's too late now.
We're done.
Show's over.
Curtain's closed.
How could you say that?
'Cause it's true. Look around.
I am looking around.
And you know what I see?
That we're trapped in prison
and there's no way out.
I see someone who never gave up.
Someone who could always turn
a situation around and make it better.
Someone who has always been optimistic
and positive and hopeful and...
and sweet, but for some reason
never felt like he was good enough.
You may not see how great you are,
but I do.
I always have.
I came back for you.
I can back for you, Swifty.
For you.
That's just beautiful, man.
- Huh? What?
- What is happening?
Oh! I do love a captive audience.
My goodness, is that Magda?
I almost didn't recognize you.
You've aged terribly.
Magda should have mailed Walrus
to prison years ago.
Otto von Walrus,
you don't have to do this.
Oh, but I do, my dear boy.
Now, in case you didn't already think
you were in hot water,
allow me to be painfully literal.
Good-bye, you fabulous group
of simpletons. Ta-ta.
Jade, you okay?
I'll be better once I get us out of here.
We still don't trust her.
But you trust me, right?
Now, we need to come together,
'cause that's the only way
we're getting out of here. Together.
Trust me now?
- Yeah, pretty much.
- Okay, yeah, that'll do.
Everyone out. Let's go.
All aboard!
Careful with the antlers.
PB, can you throw us up there?
I can't do this.
PB, come on.
You can do this. Jump.
You're right.
There's no way you can do this.
Reverse psychology. Nice.
Someone has to turn off
the controls up there.
Lemmy, fly.
What? Oh. Excuse me.
No, not that fly. You're the only one
who can get the controls.
You have to fly.
Oh, man.
I'm afraid of heights.
We need you, Lemmy.
We need you to fly.
Plus, this'll help.
Oh, hey, wait. It's too far.
I'll never make it.
You can do it. You know you can.
- Bon voyage.
- Ah!
Look at me!
Look at me, Ma. I'm flying!
Pull the lever.
All right.
Oops. Wrong way.Sorry.
No, Lemmy!
I see all systems are a-go.
And how are our guests doing?
Screams of agony. Wonderful.
Looks like Taigasville
is in for a floody good time.
Stop, stop, stop!
How about that, guys?
Perfect landing.
Listen, I put a self-destruct
in the control panel.
All right, Jade!
All I have to do is trigger
the self-destruct with this remote.
Oh, no, it must have fallen into the water
when I jumped out of the cage.
Anybody want to go for swim?
Is there any other way
to trigger the self-destruct?
Well, yes, but...
But what? What is it?
You have to do it manually.
Okay, how? Where's the panel?
- On top of the drill.
- Which...
Will then self destruct.
Okay. Just help me get to that drill.
There's something you don't see every day.
I love a good turnout.
Time to break the ice.
Citizens of Taigasville,
if I might have your attention.
Drum roll, please.
It's just an expression.
Where was I?
Oh, yes. The good news is
I'm here to unleash the devastating power
of an ancient gas
buried deep beneath Taigasville.
The bad news is...
I'll have to destroy your town
to get at it.
Chins up, everyone.
Five minutes to impact.
Yes, very nice. Jolly good.
Jolly, jolly good.
We've got to hurry. Let's go.
I hope you've all
been practicing your doggy paddle.
Four minutes to impact.
Ah. Shouldn't be long now.
Oh, what is it?
Oh, for pete's sake.
Will someone please take care of them
once and for all?
Get him, yeah.
Oh, wonderful. Thank you.
We need to find a clear path to the drill.
We're pinned down here.
It's all good, bro.
I don't think we're...
If we move at all, they will see us.
Let me double-check.
They saw me.
- They won't see me.
- Uh...
Where's his clothes?
Yeah, let's go streaking.
No, no, Lemmy. Watch.
Swifty, this is crazy. I can't let you
do this. You could be killed.
- I have to, Jade.
- You don't.
Look, there's no other way,
and you know it.
I'm the only one who has a chance.
Look, I'm still gonna need some help
getting to that drill.
Magda clear way.
Magda with Special Forces, lifetime ago.
Get ready.
On my mark.
Jade, tell me what I need to do again.
Pull the surge capacitor,
third from the bottom right.
Right from the bottom third.
- Third from the bottom right.
- Third from the right from the bottom.
- No!
- The red one.
Red one. Got it.
- Swifty.
- What?
It's going to start coming apart,
so get off that rig as soon as you can.
I hear you.
- Swifty.
- What?
Um, guys.
I'll see you soon.
Bring it to Magda, puffin scum!
I got your back!
Going up.
Stop him!
Arctic strong!
Do your thing, Top Dog.
- Special delivery.
- Wah!
I'll make a rug out of your hide.
Stop that naked jackaninny!
One minute to impact.
Forty seconds to impact.
Take that. That, you...
Twenty seconds to impact.
You can't stop me.
- Ten seconds to impact.
- Where'd he go?
Two seconds.
He did it!
Swifty, get off of there!
Whoa! It's going to blow!
Help me.
Don't leave me here, please.
Thank you...
for being an idiot!
Puffins, it's time for my escape.
Let's go.
Come and get me, you little freaks.
Where are you?
Swifty! Oh, no.
Oh, there you are.
Listen, puffins, I know
it doesn't look good, but it's not over.
We can still win this.
True, everything's been destroyed,
but that doesn't mean
we can't keep on fighting on and on
and start over and...
All right, guys,
that's it. We're out of here.
You can talk!
Come! Come back.
I order you to come back this instant!
Oh! Hello, angry mob of townsfolk.
How are we today?
Nice to see you're not converging
on me to do...
Oh, I see, you are converging on me.
Uh, well, I...
Swifty, where are you?
Thank goodness you're alive.
But I'm blind.
I'm blind!
Ah! I'm not blind.
I can see.
Look at... Look, I can see. Ow!
We did it.
We did, didn't we?
That's okay.
Hey, Swifty.
You're the best Top Dog ever.
You know what?
I'm no Top Dog.
I'm just a fox.
- Yeah!
- It's streaking time, dudes.
All right. Yeah!
After that,
Magda actually allowed me
to make some changes around the old ABDS.
PB became
the health and wellness supervisor
and that helped boost
employee morale through the roof.
Now that Lemmy was flying free, he became
a one-man centralized processing system.
Oh, look at him go.
And Bertha and Leo?
Well, they were
natural safety and security officers.
But the one I am most proud of
is the new fleet.
Now anyone can be Top Animal,
not just dogs,
because everyone has something unique
and special to offer.
Who's ready
for some serious rock climbing?
That's what I was born to do, boss.
Hey, looking good, guys.
I know none of these will get
crushed now with you on the job.
You can count on me.
And as for the Top Dogs?
They finally got the retirement
they long deserved.
Oh, and Otto von Walrus?
Let's just say he packed up and left.
Can somebody let me out?
Hey, did you see this?
Yeah, that's neat.
Look, I found something in your warehouse
that needed some fixing.
Dreams do come true...
though not always the way
you expect them to.
In the end, it took someone special
to help me see that.
Arctic strong!
Recognition and being noticed,
it's okay.
Well, a little bit more than okay,
but what really matters...
is doing what you can,
however big or small,
to make the world a better place
and being true to yourself along the way.