Arlo: The Burping Pig (2016) Movie Script

[bright pop music]
It's one in the morning
and you can't sleep
It's been a long day at
work so you can't breathe
But you're too
tired to even eat
So you stand here
on your two feet
Singing oh, hey
Hands to the sky
Stand around the
fire sing up real high
oh, hey, everything
will be alright
Cause tonight is
gonna be the best night
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Look around and all you see
Is the clouds up above me
You're sitting here
with your best friends
The sun's going down
and it's gonna end
Singing oh, hey
Hands to the sky
Stand around the
fire sing up real high
oh, hey, everything
will be alright
Cause tonight is
gonna be the best night
Best night, best night
Go from sundown to daylight
- Best night
- Best night, best night
Go from sundown to daylight
- Best night
- Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh
It's a summer night
The moon is shining
The people sing
Oh, let's keep rocking
We're kicking back
in the sand
Oh, let's keep moving
Cause tonight is
gonna be the best night
Oh, oh, oh, oh
- Oh, oh, oh
- [pig burping]
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Singing oh, hey
Hands to the sky
Stand around the fire
Sing up real high
Oh, hey everything
will be alright
Cause tonight is
gonna be the best night
Best night, best night
Go from sundown to daylight
- Best night
- Best night, best night
Go from sundown to daylight
- Best night
- [burping]
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh
[sirens ringing]
You can get 25 years for this!
Oh, cops!
This is it!
This is my last stop!
I'll call you after my jog, bro.
For sale?
No one's home...
No one's home.
[breathing heavy]
This is Bailey.
I do not have eyes on the vase.
I'm at the corner of
Oxnard and Bonner.
I lost the vase, sir.
[man] All right!
Hey, Rose family!
Hey, David,
good to see you again.
- Good to see you. Hello.
- All right. Yeah!
- This is my family.
- All right, yeah!
And you must be Ilana.
Ernie Dorko.
Yeah, so nice to meet you.
And you're even better looking than
the good doctor said. [laughs]
Well, thank you. It's nice
to meet you, Mr. Dorko.
- Oh, no, no, no, no. Call me, Ernie.
- Okay, Ernie.
Yeah, Ernie Dorko's the name,
selling houses is my game.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
And who are
these princesses here?
Uh, well, this is
Samantha, Jessica.
- Hi.
- Our littlest, Talia.
Yeah, hi, how we doing?
Nice to meet you.
Hi, how are you?
Good to see you guys.
Hey, you guys want a donut?
[Talia] No, thank you.
[Ernie] No? [laughs]
Aren't you American? [laughs]
Just kidding you.
What is this?
Uh, you know, that's,
uh, well, you know.
You bought the house,
I threw in the vase.
Uh, consider it a
housewarming gift.
It's beautiful!
Thank you, Ernie.
Hey, don't mention it.
- Thank you.
- Well, Doc,
I wanna thank you for
giving me your business.
And everybody,
say hello to your new house.
- Appreciate it, Ernie.
- Okay.
Oh, I got a 2:00, I gotta run.
Anyway, nice to see you guys
and if you need my services,
why you just call Big Ern!
And remember, the E is free
and the donuts are on me!
Okay, ladies,
come on, let's go. Come on.
- Big Ern.
- Let's go.
Come on, sweetie.
Watch your step now.
Come on in.
Watch your step, everybody.
Watch your step.
Oh, wow!
David, it's beautiful.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Just wait'll we slap a coat of
paint on that wall over there.
Oh, and honey?
Check out the flooring.
- Solid oak.
- [laughs]
You said I'd get my own room.
Yeah, it's kind of
a deal-breaker.
Gee, Dad, thank you so
much for providing us
with this wonderful
roof over our heads.
Yes, everyone has their own
rooms. Check down the hall.
- Awesome!
- Mine better be soundproof.
Mine better be geek proof.
I don't like this house! I wanna
go back to our old house.
Hey, we talked
about this, honey.
Daddy had to take
this great new job.
Daddy's the new dentist in town.
I know, I know.
Hey, I had to
take it, all right?
We had no choice.
And guess what? You get to
have your own bedroom now.
Yeah, you do, because this
house is a little bigger
and a little better
than the last house.
[Jessica] Samantha and I
have to share a bathroom?
- Yes!
- [Jessica] That's so not fair!
You know what? I think I have
something that's gonna cheer you up,
because you haven't seen the
best part of this place yet.
Follow me, okay?
- Come here.
- We have a backyard?
Yes, we do!
It's a lot nicer than that slab
of concrete back home, right?
- Mm-hm.
- And you have your very own swing set, baby.
Well, what are you waiting for?
I can try it out?
- It's all yours, baby.
- Yay!
We're not in Boston anymore.
No, we are not.
I just want the
girls to be happy here.
Oh, they're gonna.
It's just gonna take some time.
[Jessica] That's mine!
Jessica, give it back!
Just a little time.
I wish you didn't
have to go back.
Me too, baby. I gotta go back
there for a couple weeks
and the girls need
to start school.
I know, I'm just gonna miss you,
so you better hurry home.
I will, I will.
I'm gonna back there,
close down that practice,
say goodbye to my
stuffy old partners,
and I'll be back here faster
than you can say, "Root canal."
[both laughing]
Root canal.
Well, hopefully by then the
girls will all be settled in.
[Ilana] Morning, sunshine!
Hey, there, pumpkin!
How did you sleep, huh?
Okay, I guess.
Okay, you guess, come here.
[muffled pop music]
Hey, Jess!
[Ilana] Jessica. Hello.
- Good morning.
- Yeah, okay, what?
No earbuds at the table.
- Ow!
- Sorry!
Watch where you're going!
Let's not read at breakfast.
Why are you even
reading anyways?
School hasn't started.
Oh, you know, to learn stuff.
Like did you know that
an entire starfish
can regrow from just one arm?
Can you regrow an entire sister?
Mom, Dad, are you
sure we're related?
- Sometimes I wonder.
- Can we please just be nice?
As a favor to me,
would you do that?
I'm not gonna see you guys
for a couple weeks, all right?
Today's a big day for all of us.
A very big day. You guys
get to see your new schools.
Go get 'em, ladies!
- I gotta get to the airport.
- Okay.
- I'm gonna miss you, Daddy.
- You'll miss me?
Oh, I'll miss you
too, all right?
Hey, look. You call me
whenever you want, okay?
- Okay.
- Alright, bye.
- Have a safe trip, Dad.
- Hey, mm.
And don't worry about a thing.
I will keep an eye on
the place while you're gone.
That's what I'm worried about.
Come here, come here.
Listen to me, no wild
parties while I'm gone.
Unless your mom
throws 'em, okay?
[everyone laughing]
All right?
Just give her a break, okay?
- Hey!
- [laughs]
I'll see you soon, okay?
Two weeks, alright?
- Okay, two weeks.
- Bye, good luck!
Bye, ladies.
So can I stay over
at Marcia's tonight?
All the girls are doing it.
It's like Susie
and Robin, Becky and me.
- Who are these people?
- Uh, they go to my school.
And they're also on
the cheerleading team.
- They're super cool.
- Well, wait, wait.
How do you even know them?
We just moved here.
So can I go?
I'll see, it'd be nice
to meet their parents.
I don't know anybody.
Yeah, but think about
all the new friends
you're gonna get to meet.
But they probably already
have their own friends.
Oh, you can never
have too many friends.
Now hurry up and eat,
so you can get dressed!
But they probably already
have their own friends.
Be nice.
[bell ringing]
[female teacher] Well, all of us
are reading Charlotte's Web.
And the main character,
as you know, is a spider.
Now how many of you
are scared of spiders?
No one is scared of...
I am petrified of spiders.
If Charlotte came in the room,
I'd be standing on a chair.
Excuse us?
Is this room 418, Ms. Pritchett?
Who wants to know?
We're the Roses.
We're new in town.
I'm Ilana. And of course this
is Talia, it's her first day.
- Hi.
- Hi Miss Talia Rose.
- Well, come on in.
- It's okay, sweetie.
- Go ahead.
- Take a seat right over there.
Go ahead.
Now class,
I'd like you to help me
say good morning to Miss Talia.
You ready?
Good morning, Talia.
Very nice, very nice.
Uh, Mrs. Rose, if there's
nothing else I can do for you,
I'd like to wish you a good day.
Oh, uh...
And one more thing, my class
starts promptly at 9:00 am,
and tardiness will
not be tolerated.
Yes, ma'am.
Who is gonna buy
this turd ranch?
We are reading
Charlotte's Web, Talia.
And, uh, well, Miss Sophia,
why don't you tell us a
little bit about what we know.
Well, the animals,
they all can talk.
That's right.
But animals can't really talk.
My cousin has a dog,
Tillie, who could talk.
- No way!
- Well, not talk, talk.
I mean, Tillie always knew
what you were saying, though.
Like if you ask her to play
ball she goes, "Bark, bark,"
and goes crazy.
That's not the same
thing as talking.
- Well, it kinda is.
- Well, what do you mean?
If a dog wags its tail,
it's probably happy.
Well, that's right. Animals
communicate with us all the time.
They tell us when
they're happy, or sad,
or serious, or angry.
Just like people.
That's very good.
You're a teacher's pet.
Me? I just got here.
I don't like teacher's pets.
Psst. That's Bertha.
She's a bully.
You know, these things
work a lot better
if you actually swing on them.
I don't feel like swinging.
First day didn't go so hot?
I miss my old school.
Beginnings are tough.
But you know, I think when you
meet that special somebody,
things are gonna
look a lot brighter.
- Maybe.
- Trust me.
Come on, come inside.
You can help me make dinner.
- Okay.
- Okay, see you in there.
[leaves rustling]
- Well, hello, down there!
- Well, hello, up there!
Wait, what are you doing?
Oh, this feels pretty good.
Talia, are you coming?
Coming, Mom!
[pig squealing]
Okay, little piggy.
I have to go.
You stay right here,
you promise?
Nope, not moving.
Just leave the cookie.
You made mac and cheese!
I love mac and cheese!
Well, somebody's
in better spirits.
Can't forget my vegetables.
You feeling okay, Talia?
Yeah, sure, Mom.
Just wondering.
I smell bacon.
- [dog barking]
- [Talia gasping]
- What's that?
- Oh, that's just Buster,
Mr. Unger's dog from next door.
I met them today.
Why is he barking?
Maybe he just wants to say hi.
[pig] Hey, get me outta here!
Hey, take it easy!
I'm new in the area!
- Maybe he's an attack dog.
- Oh, don't be silly.
He's just a harmless fur-ball.
[dog barking]
Feisty, but harmless.
What, where are you going?
I just remembered, I forgot
something out by the swing set.
Buster! Shoo!
Shoo, shoo, Buster!
Bad dog, go away!
Shoo! Shoo, shoo!
Yeah, keep walking, Buster!
That's what I thought!
Thank goodness you're back.
That dog is cuckoo!
[pig squealing]
Are you okay little piggy?
I gotta get you inside
without Mom seeing.
Okay, who turned out the lights?
Everything okay out here?
Yeah, Mom, why?
Mm, love me some vegetables.
- What's so funny?
- Nothing.
Well then, why are you laughing?
Oh, I just remembered
that joke you told me
about the chicken
crossing the road.
It was so funny!
- Nice cover-up.
- Really?
Cause you told me
it was totally lame.
- I just didn't get it before.
- Okay.
- Come back in.
- Okay, Mommy, I'm coming.
Aren't you gonna
finish your dinner?
Mom, I'm stuffed.
You barely ate anything.
[pig burps]
That was a good one.
What do you say, Talia Rose?
- Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
I guess you ate
more than I thought.
I gotta go to my room
to do some homework.
- Hey, squirt.
- Hey, Talia.
Hey, guys.
Why are you standing so funny?
- No reason.
- [pig burps]
- Ew, gross.
- Talia!
[breathing heavy]
Hey, nice place you got here.
I think you ate too many
vegetables, little piggy.
- It gave you the burpies.
- [pig burps]
Hmm, what do pigs like to eat?
I should check.
I can save you some time.
Absolutely everything!
Oh, good, little piggy!
I can get you all this stuff.
Wow, it says here, little piggy,
you can't ever eat chocolate.
- What's chocolate?
- Remember that, little piggy.
Sorry, no chocolate for you.
Chocolate could get you
really, really sick.
- You're the boss.
- You're so cute!
I have to think
of a name for you.
Hmm, maybe Phil.
What else you got?
- Or maybe Peanut. No.
- [pig] No.
- Or maybe Roy.
- Do I look like a Roy to you?
Now where are those vegetables?
I got it! Arlo!
I think you look like an Arlo.
What do you think, little piggy?
[Arlo burps]
I'll take that as a yes.
Arlo. Yeah, Arlo. I like it!
Has a nice ring to it.
Well, I can't put you back outside with that
mean Buster barking at you all the time.
Everything okay in there?
Yeah, sure, Mom! Why?
Arlo, now stay
here and be quiet.
It's my mom. We can't let
anyone know you're in here.
Everything okay in here, honey?
Yeah, sure, Mom. Why?
Who are you talking to?
Just myself.
- Yourself.
- Yeah, you know.
Hey, Talia, how's it going?
I'm doing great.
How about you?
I'm fine.
Hope it doesn't rain tomorrow.
You know, stuff like that.
Anyway, Mom, I'm tired.
I'm going to bed, okay?
It's 7:30.
[sighs] I know, I'm just bushed.
Okay, pumpkin.
Get some sleep.
Okay, Mommy, good night.
[Ilana] Good night.
[Talia yawns]
[radio jingle]
[man on radio] And our
top story of the night.
The famous Ming dynasty vase
is lifted from City Hall.
Here's Mayor Cromwell with
the official statement.
Our town is very proud
to have been selected
as a stopping point
for the traveling Ming
dynasty art exhibit.
Which is why we
are deeply saddened
that the real perpetrators
were able to steal
this prized vase
under our watch.
That is why I am making
it my personal mission
to ensure that we get that vase
back to its rightful owners,
the people of this great town.
And in other news...
[Arlo] Let's get
the lay of the land.
[man] Wilson,
the Amazing Burping Pig,
escaped from the circus.
More on that wacky story
with the Bearded Lady.
And the gate just
swung right open,
and, uh, we couldn't catch him.
Little guy was just
too quick and he got away.
But, um, Wilson,
if you're watching this, uh,
your family misses you, man.
Where can a pig get
a drink around here?
Let's see, what's in here?
Hey there, sleepy.
Nah, there's no water in here.
It's like the Sahara
in this house.
And going up.
What the..?
[slurping water]
[breathing hard]
Ah, that hit the spot.
Oh, here come the fuzz!
[breathing hard]
That was a weird dream.
Uh, hot dog water?
That was a close one.
That's the ticket.
Safe and sound.
Arlo, where are you?
[panicked breathing]
Arlo, this isn't funny!
[Jessica screaming]
[Jessica] Mom!
What is it?
You shrunk my favorite shirt!
Look at it, it's way too small.
- It looks fine.
- No, I can't wear this!
Talia, top of the morning!
Joining us for breakfast?
- Why not?
- Because it's way too small!
Well, it just needs to be
stretched out a little bit.
- What are you doing?
- I'm trying to stretch it out.
- You are going...
- [Arlo] Oh, right.
Uh, stealth
pig powers activated!
- Not going to rip it.
- Yes you are!
Just wear a different shirt.
I can't wear a different shirt.
Don't mind me,
just an invisible pig.
[laughs] Grease lightning!
Cheerleading tryouts are today
and this is my lucky shirt!
Why are you still in pajamas?
- No reason.
- Go get ready!
- We cannot be late.
- Okay, Mommy!
Is it just me, or is she
acting a little strange?
- I think she's just adjusting.
- I think she's just weird.
Arlo, that was too close.
You can't wander out like that!
- Why not?
- I mean what if they saw you?
You're lucky Dad's not home.
He definitely wouldn't
let me keep you.
Ah, don't be silly.
They just haven't met me yet.
To know me is to love me.
Even worse, what if
someone stepped on you?
I didn't think of that.
Here. Here are some
toys you can play with.
- [Ilana] Come on, Talia!
- Okay, Arlo.
I have to go to school.
Be a good little piggy.
Don't go anywhere.
You promise?
All right, well,
you have a great day at school.
Uh, uh, are these
all the apples you have?
Cause, you know,
I really love apples,
and I might get hungry later.
- That looks good.
- Fashion statement.
Come on, Talia!
Okay, guys, we have to get
ready quicker in the morning.
We cannot be late for school.
Oh, there's my ride.
- Who's that?
- Marcia Pinsky.
She's the captain of
the cheerleading team.
[Ilana] Well, maybe Sam
can get a ride with you.
Ha! I'm good.
[energetic pop music]
Hey, Marcia!
Hey, Susie!
What up, Jessie J?
- Jessie J?
- Jessie J?
- Just go with it, okay?
- [Talia] Okay.
So, Marcia, so this is my mom.
- Awesome.
- My sister, Samantha.
Double awesome.
And this is my
little sister Talia.
- Triple awesome!
- Totally triple.
- [both giggling]
- Hi.
So I hear you girls are
on the cheerleading team.
On the cheerleading team?
I'm captain of the
cheerleading team,
which is totally awesome.
Oh, they're on the team, too.
Right, Susie?
Slightly less awesome,
but still pretty awesome.
Go Trojans! Woo-hoo!
So, Samantha,
are you on any teams?
Uh, math team.
Go Trojans, I guess.
So, Jessie J,
you wanna get changed
so we can head to school?
Um, uh...
Your shirt's a little
tight, don't you think?
Yeah, way too tight.
Yeah, just give me a
second, I'll go inside.
You know what, forget it.
I have my gym bag.
You can just wear
one of my old shirts.
Just change in my car.
- Oh.
- Ready girls?
Bye, Jessica!
[energetic pop music]
Mm-hm. Hmm.
Very nice, Miss Talia.
Teacher's pet.
[lively music]
Guess what?
Jessica made the
cheerleading team!
Talia, I wanted to tell them!
Oh, that's great, honey!
I know where you
get your moves from!
- Great job, honey!
- It is pretty cool, right?
I mean it's not official yet,
but they pretty much said yes.
- [phone beeps]
- I'm happy for you, too.
- Everything okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
Well, when does practice start?
That little weasel!
Who's the weasel?
What's the matter?
Practice starts tomorrow.
Go Trojans!
[Samantha sighs]
[sirens blaring]
[phone rings]
This is Ralph.
Yes. Yes, Boss.
Oh, my God.
Smooth as butter.
Oh, the vase?
It... Safe as can be.
At, it, a friend is
watching it for me.
Boss, the cops were on my butt.
The sirens, I could
hear them down the street.
I did, I used my head
like you taught me.
I... you know what?
I ditched it.
It's in a safe place.
Don't worry.
No, sir, I don't
wanna be in a body cast.
Okay. I, no.
Next week.
The vase, in your hands,
next week.
You can bank on it.
Yes, sir.
[blows raspberry]
What, are you kidding?
Okay, yes, sir. Bye.
[Ilana] I think we should go with
the off-white or powder blue.
- What do you think?
- I'd go with blue.
Yeah, I think we
should go with the white.
I'll call the painter tomorrow.
White. It's perfect.
I mean, I think it'll go
so great with the new vase.
- Don't you think?
- Yeah, I'll tell you,
Ernie really outdid himself
with that thing.
It actually looks expensive.
I know, it's perfect.
Wonder where he got it.
Probably a yard sale.
- Hey, how are the girls doing?
- Mm, you know.
They're slowly adjusting.
I think they might
actually like the place.
Oh, Jessica made the
cheerleading team.
No way! That's great.
I'm gonna have to
call her later.
How are things over there?
It's, uh, it's weird.
I mean, house is empty
and I'm in the girls' rooms.
You just, you know,
nothing up on the walls.
I don't know, it's just weird.
A lot of memories in this place.
Yeah. Well, you'll just
have to hurry home
so we can make plenty
of new ones here.
Thank you, David.
The girls and I really
appreciate everything
that you've done
for this family.
Thanks, baby. I'm the luckiest
guy in the world
to have four amazing ladies
all living under one roof.
Yep, and you get to
see them all next week.
Okay, little piggy.
I have to go to school.
Be a good little piggy.
I put some snacks under the bed.
Try to stay out of sight, okay?
No problemo.
[coins shaking]
Bye, Arlo!
Hey, looks just like my uncle.
See the family resemblance?
Hi, is this Tommy
from Tommy's Painting?
Hi, I'm Ilana Rose.
We just moved into the
house on Beacon Street.
So I have this ugly wallpaper,
and I was hoping you
could come check it out?
Okay. Great, Thursday
at noon would be perfect.
Thank you again,
and it's 1501 Beacon.
Great, I'll see you then.
Oh, sorry, didn't see you there.
Well, maybe you should
watch where you're going!
What did you say?
I said, phew,
your breath stinks!
You didn't brush
your teeth this morning!
Yes, I did!
Well, maybe you
didn't use toothpaste.
My dad's a dentist, so I know
a little bit about teeth.
- Why you little...
- Ladies?
- Do we have a problem here?
- No.
- No, ma'am.
- I didn't think so.
You better watch
your step, Talia Rose.
I'm watching you.
- What?
- What?
[overlapping chatter]
- Hey, Jess.
- Hey, squirt.
Why are you here? I thought you were
at cheerleading practice tonight.
Oh, um, it got canceled.
No practice tonight.
Hey, Jessie J!
- Hey.
- And hey there,
um, Tabitha, right?
- It's Talia.
- Right, Talia.
That was gonna be
my second guess.
Anyway so, um,
sorry about before.
Just, it kinda happens
sometimes, you know?
We're still
besties though, right?
- Of course.
- Okay, awesome!
Well, I gotta run.
But I'll see ya later Jessie J!
See you, Tammy.
It's Talia.
- Whatever, let's go.
- Where's Sam?
Um, she had to stay to do some extra
credit or something. I don't know.
If cheerleading
practice got canceled,
then how come Marcia...
Uh, it starts tomorrow
for new members.
- How was your second day?
- It was, it was good.
It was good?
That's good.
[crickets chirping]
Gotta stretch my hooves out.
Back to the old watering hole.
[slurps water]
What the...!
[breathing heavy]
Hi-ya! Gotcha!
It tastes like bacon.
I'm losing it.
Hey, I'm getting good at this!
Back home.
Where is your sister?
Come on, Jess!
We're gonna be late!
I'm here, I'm here.
Please stop yelling.
What's wrong with you?
[sighs] I haven't been
getting my beauty sleep.
You can say that again.
Why aren't you sleeping, Jess?
I don't know.
I keep having this crazy dream.
It keeps me up every night.
About what?
There's like a weird slurping
coming from the bathroom.
- Slurping?
- Yeah.
- [Talia groans]
- Mm.
- Sam, do you hear anything?
- No.
- What about you?
- No, definitely not.
Nothing like that.
That's so weird!
It feels so real.
Well, I'm sorry
you're not sleeping.
Oh, no. Come on.
We gotta go.
We're gonna be late.
No, no, no, no Jess.
Up you go. Come on.
- I'll be right back.
- All right, let's go.
Hey, if you're not doing
anything after school
let's go for a walk.
My schedule happens to be clear.
Okay. Bye, Arlo!
Oh, my goodness.
Hey, don't you have
cheerleading practice today?
Uh, yeah. I mean, yeah.
Uh, thank you for reminding me.
Can't forget your pom-poms.
Come on, let's go!
Let's go.
- Come on.
- I'm going, I'm going.
We're gonna be late again.
Bye, Talia!
Have a good day!
[phone ringing]
They always call
when I'm eating.
[Ernie] Hey, Rose family!
Big Ern here.
Just wanted to see how
you're loving your new house,
and, uh, remind you that
if you need anything,
like lawn pods for storage
or lawn gnomes...
Lunch, lunch, lunch...
to put a smile on the
faces of your princesses,
Big Ern's got 'em.
All you gotta do is dial
- Whoa! Not you again!
- Hope you're well.
- Oh, man!
- Talk to you later, bye!
Hey, little guy.
Ah, down boy! Down!
- Easy, buddy!
- Come on, let me play tag.
I'll show you
where I bury stuff.
[Ilana] So this is the
wall I was telling you about.
Yep. Oh, boy.
Wow, he must work out.
You have a real
pretty house, Ms. Rose.
Thank you, Tommy.
That's very sweet of you.
Have you all decided
on a color yet?
Yeah, I think we're
gonna go with off-white.
We were gonna
go with powder blue.
But I think off-white
is more soothing.
- What do you think?
- I reckon.
My husband's a dentist, and all
of his walls are off-white.
So I just, I don't know,
I think it soothes the patients.
Wow, what a smart thing to say.
Well, I guess
I'll see you next week?
Yes, ma'am. At noon.
You betcha.
Won't take more
than a few hours.
Thank you, Tommy.
It's about time they do
something about that wallpaper.
Bye, Tommy!
[Arlo burps]
- Almost got busted.
- Hello?
Anybody here?
What the...?
Oh, what a day, huh, Talia?
Let's hit the streets, Arlo!
[energetic rock music]
I look at everyone
Picture perfect
They think that, oh,
they're so worth it
We walk the streets
in our new blue jeans
We are...
and we're in the scenes
They think that
oh, they're so famous
Drowning in all their faces
They wanna go,
but have no friends
This is not a way to live
But when you think that
You rise up to everyone
Ones that you
don't really know
But when you say that
You're up but
you're just really not
Well we already know
I just don't understand
I look at everyone
in the movies
It's not the life
we know we're to be
They let people
inside their heads
They have the night
but can't pretend
They think that, hey,
we're so different
And living life
in the riches
Spotlight every day
From pain JV the way
But when you think that
you act up to everyone
- Oh.
- Well, well, well.
If it isn't the teacher's pet.
- Leave us alone, Bertha.
- Yeah, beat it Bertha.
Oh, teacher's pet
with her very own pet.
Now isn't that special!
Let me see him.
- No way!
- I just wanna see him.
- Hey!
- [Arlo squeals]
[Arlo] Hey!
Will you chill out?
I just wanna say hello.
- Aren't you a little fatty!
- Speak for yourself.
You're just a little pork
chop fatty, now ain't ya!
All right, now you're
getting personal.
Pork chop fatty,
pork chop fatty,
- pork chop fatty!
- You're squeezing me too tight!
Bertha, I wouldn't
do that if I were you.
- Aren't you a little fatty?
- [Arlo] Hey, come on!
Pork chop fatty,
pork chop fatty!
Bertha, I really wouldn't
do that if I were you.
Pork chop fatty,
pork chop fatty!
[Arlo burps]
- [Arlo] Knockout!
- [birds chirping]
I told you so!
Time for some snacks.
Snacks, snacks, snacks.
Hmm, any up here?
No, huh.
Where are the snacks
in this house?
Who was that?
I definitely just
heard something.
[breathing hard]
- Hi-ya!
- Hello.
Mom! Mom!
Mommy! Mom!
[gasps] What's going on?
Is someone in the house?
Yes, there's an intruder!
What, I...
I didn't hear the alarm.
[stammering] There was a rat.
- It was a huge rat.
- [both] A rat?
Yeah, like this big creepy
rat just running after me!
- And it, it burped!
- It burped?
- I'm going back to bed.
- [sighs]
- What, you don't believe me?
- Honey, you gotta calm down.
Come on, you gotta stop eating
those Starbursts before bed.
Mom, you don't believe me?
I promise there was,
there was a rat,
and, and it sounded just like...
[Arlo burps]
Like that.
- Talia?
- Yes?
- What was that?
- Nothing.
What was that burping
sound coming from your room?
Maybe it was my squeaky chair.
Mom, please! No, no!
No, no, no!
And extra super no!
That is not a rat.
That is definitely a pig.
You know, I thought
I was losing my mind.
You acting strange.
the carrots in the blankets.
Talia, I can't believe you
didn't tell us about this.
We share everything
in this family.
What happens at work,
what happens at school.
He's gross.
- No, he isn't!
- He is too!
- I think he's handsome.
- You would.
[sighs] And when your father
hears about this,
- he's going to have a conniption.
- Yeah, he is.
He wouldn't even let me have a
goldfish as a pet when I was a kid.
He's definitely not
gonna let you keep a pig.
Well, maybe he doesn't
need to know right away.
What do you call
this little guy?
His name's Arlo.
Totally gross.
How long has this
thing been in my house?
- He's been here for a week.
- A week?
That thing has been drinking out
of my water glass for a week?
I'm gonna be sick.
[Talia] Look, I was gonna
tell you guys.
I was just waiting
for the right moment.
Arlo might belong
to someone else.
Did you ever think about that?
I don't think he does.
I've taken him
on walks and everything.
Nobody's ever seen him before.
Well, he is not
sleeping in this house.
- No!
- Oh, really?
Why not?
Because Buster's a mean bully.
He barks and growls
at him like crazy!
Talia, I need you to make some lost and
found signs with a picture of your pig.
- His name's Arlo.
- I love that name.
You are so cute!
We are gonna post
the signs around town
to see if anyone comes
forward and claims him.
- But, Mom, it's not fair!
- It is entirely fair.
He could be some other
little girl's pig.
You wouldn't wanna go to jail
for pig-napping, would you?
It's the right thing to do.
Do you understand me?
Okay, yes. But if nobody comes,
can I keep him?
Look, here's the deal.
If nobody comes
forward to claim him,
he can stay here until
your father comes back.
But trust me, I've known
your dad for a long time.
There is no way he is
going to allow a pig
to live in this house.
I hate this stupid place!
I wanna go back to my old house!
I wanna go home!
Oh, yeah. Right there.
That's the spot.
Thank you!
You're such a little ham.
Bertha maybe was right.
You are a little
pork chop fatty,
but you're my little
pork chop fatty.
You always know how
to make me laugh.
I love you, Arlo.
- Come on, Talia.
- Coming, Mom.
Bye, Arlo.
Later, kiddo.
Yeah. Gotcha!
[Jessica crying]
[Arlo squeaking]
Jessica, what's wrong?
Go away!
You wouldn't understand.
Is it cause of Arlo?
Great. So now I have to deal
with you and Porky Pig?
Hey, that's degrading!
Why can't you
just leave me alone?
When I'm upset,
I tell you stuff.
That's what sisters are for.
Mom is making me put up lost
and found signs for Arlo.
Someone might take him away!
Not to be completely
but I cannot write my paper
with you crying like that.
These walls are paper thin.
So what's wrong?
I didn't make the
cheerleading team.
- What?
- But you said you did.
I didn't. I lied.
- Well, why did you do that?
- I was embarrassed.
Anybody who's anybody is
on the cheerleading team.
And I just really
wanted to be popular.
And it should be easy when
you're the new girl, right?
Everybody likes the new girl.
[sighs] You guys probably
think it's stupid.
No, I don't.
I just don't know
why you care so much
about what other people think.
- It's just important to me.
- Why?
I don't know, it just is. I...
I never really thought about it.
And do you even
like cheerleading?
Not really. No.
I mean, they do all
these like pyramids,
and they stack everybody
up really high,
and every time
I do it I get terrified.
- [sighs]
- So maybe this is a good thing.
I don't know.
You should have heard
Marcia when she heard
I was pretending I made
the cheerleading team.
She called me a faker
in front of everybody.
It was so embarrassing.
So mean, Marcia
isn't a good friend.
Yeah, definitely not
somebody who I'd ever
wanna hang out with, ever.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
A real friend
likes you for being you.
You know what, squirt?
You're pretty smart.
Where did you learn that?
Arlo here.
[Arlo squeaking]
Yeah, Arlo.
He's a real friend.
Whether I'm happy or sad,
he loves me no matter what.
That's awesome.
You know what the best part is?
If you let him,
he can cheer anybody up.
I don't think a pig's
gonna do the trick for me.
Can you at least let him try?
Jess, give Arlo a chance.
[Jessica sniffs]
Come here, Arlo.
Okay, who needs some smiles?
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Here.
- All right, picture time!
Get my good side!
[camera clicking]
Hashtag piggy selfie.
[girls laughing]
- He's adorable.
- Yeah, that's good.
I literally think that your fingers
are gonna fall off one of these days.
What are you doing?
You look so much better
without these glasses.
Well, I can't really see, but I'm
pretty sure here comes trouble.
- Mind if we join you?
- They don't mind.
- Right, ladies?
- Yeah, sure.
- Hey, you're Sandra, right?
- No.
Don't we have a class together?
She's in all the AP classes.
Anyways, Jessie J,
I just wanted to make sure
you're not still upset over
the cheerleading fiasco.
She's over it.
That must have totally sucked.
No, I'm fine.
It's not a big deal.
Well, I know starting at
a new school can be tough.
You know, trying to fit in.
Be super popular.
Meet the cute guys.
Zack and Ari are checking
us out, girlfriend.
I mean, if you weren't a senior, I'd say
you could try out for the team next year.
- Hey, boys!
- Hey, Marcia. Robin.
- Hi, Zack.
- Hi, Ari.
Did you guys come
over to say hello?
Yeah, we were.
To them.
So, Marcia.
We'll see you around, right?
- Is it okay if we sit?
- Yeah, of course.
Hey, why'd you take
your glasses off?
I liked the whole
librarian thing.
It was kinda cool.
Hey folks, Big Ernie here.
If you need a house,
why you call Big Ern.
If you need, uh, lawn pods,
lawn chairs, lawn gnomes.
We got pink flamingos. We got
termite control. Pest removal.
You name it, we got it.
Just dial 1-800-B-I-G-E-R-N-I.
That's 1-800-B-I-G-E-R-N-I.
And just remember, the E is
free and the donuts are on me!
[Samantha and Jessica laughing]
- Did you see her face?
- No, it was so good.
Hey, guys!
What's with them?
- Did anybody call?
- Nope.
- Really?
- Yes, really.
Arlo, did you hear that?
Nobody's called!
[phone ringing]
Maybe it's Daddy!
Yes, hello?
I... I'm calling about my pig?
- Okay.
- Yeah, the little guy he,
you know, he gets
lost every once in a while.
He gets all turned around.
But I... I brought
him to the pig doctor
and, um, he and I think
he's got, um, porkzheimer's.
Listen, I really need him back.
Um, and, you know,
he's my best friend.
What can I tell you?
Okay, um, so do you
wanna come by and see?
Ralph. The name's Ralph.
Yeah and in, in fact,
um, I know your address,
and, um, I'm like
right around the corner.
So this is great.
Okay, so we'll see you
in a few minutes then.
Thank you, ma'am.
Uh, so that was a gentleman.
Arlo might be his pig.
He's gonna come
by and, and look.
Oh, Talia.
Well, maybe the pig's
not his pig, right?
It might not be his.
It, I mean it's possible.
Mistaken pig identity?
[doorbell rings]
- Hi.
- Hi, there!
Hi, I'm Ralph. I called you
about my little piggy?
- Sure, come in.
- Thank you.
- Nice place you got here.
- Thank you.
Still have some work to do.
We're having the place
painted on Thursday.
Thursday, eh?
Hmm. Nice.
Hi, there.
So my husband, you know,
he should be back any minute.
He's got a laundry list
of things to do around here.
I'm sure you keep him real busy.
This are nice.
This real gold?
Yes. No, no, it's just,
it's a piece of junk.
Hmm, oh. Talia!
Will you please bring out Arlo?
[Arlo grunts]
There's my little buddy.
Where have you been?
I've missed you.
Did you just call him Arlo?
That's our name.
Well, sometimes I call him Arlo.
I mean he looks like an Arlo.
Doesn't he?
You know what?
Guess what Daddy has for you?
- Bam! Chocolate.
- Okay, that kinda smells good.
Wait, you can't
give him chocolate!
- Why not?
- Pigs can't eat chocolate.
They can get
really, really sick.
- He eats it all the time.
- I don't think this is your pig.
- You...
- Me, neither.
Well, you know what?
Um, what, maybe you're right.
My pig kinda has like a
birthmark on his head.
Kinda like a squished raspberry.
Like a Gorbachev thing.
Yeah, you, you know Ralph,
that is an honest mistake.
- It... yeah, um...
- You have a good night.
- Bye, girls.
- Good night.
- [sighs]
- What in the world was that?
- I don't know.
- At least I get to keep him!
Girls, I want you
to make sure you keep
all the windows
and doors locked.
I'll feel a lot safer when
Daddy gets home tomorrow.
- Hey, Tommy.
- Yes, Ms. Rose?
Would you please remember
to shut the door behind you?
Oh, right. Sorry. Dang!
Dang, dang, dang.
- The little piggy.
- Sorry, ma'am, I forgot.
Oh, don't worry about it.
So I'm just heading
to the gym now.
Sounds good, Ms. Rose.
I'm just finishing up here.
Oh, would you do me one favor
and just call me as
soon as you're done?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Okay.
- All right, thank you!
- Have a nice day, Ms. Rose!
I'll be sure to call you
just like you said!
Can I help you, mister?
Yeah, I, Tommy, right?
Do I know you?
I'm Mr. Rose.
- [laughs]
- Howdy!
My wife told me you've been
doing a great job, by the way.
Thank you. And I was careful
not to get any paint
on any of your
really nice stuff.
Very professional.
Very professional!
Oh, and I was extra,
especially careful
with that gorgeous vase
in the living room.
The, the vase?
Yeah, it, uh, thank God.
That's her prized possession.
That is the nicest
thing I have ever seen.
That thing must have set you
all back something serious!
Cause I was using the
newspaper to line the bottom
of my birdcage for my
parakeet a couple weeks back.
And I noticed that the vase
that got stolen from
town hall looks exactly
like the one in the living room.
Would you believe it?
- It, Tom...
- Ming dynasty.
- I watch Pawn Stars. [laughs]
- Yeah it, it,
- Tommy, tell you what.
- Heck, yeah!
Hey, just between us guys?
I got that at a flea
market for peanuts, okay?
- Whoo!
- But she thinks it's a real thing, so.
Oh, man!
Whoa, boy!
I won't say nothing
to the missus.
Oh, hey, uh, Mrs. Rose,
she just left.
I missed her by
two minutes I'll bet?
Oh, man, you're good. Yep!
That's right.
Now listen, I got a busy day.
I'm sure you do.
- You have a good day.
- I just wrapped things up here.
All righty.
Hey, I can show you the
finished product if you'd like.
- Well, yeah, you know...
- Come on, right this way.
You know what?
Paint's paint.
And I, and I'm sure you,
you did a great job.
Uh, but, you know,
I really gotta amscray,
if you know what I mean.
There's a little more
to it than that, sir.
Are you sure you
don't wanna see?
I... yeah, well, you know what?
I, I really have a full day.
And, I...
I gotta get going.
- Oh, Dr. Rose?
- Hmm?
You are a dentist, right?
Huh, oh, oh yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you know what,
on my days off,
I'm just plain old Mr. Rose.
Well, Dr. Rose, I have
this toothache right here.
Ha, it, tuna fish?
For lunch, and onions.
You see that little
sucker right there?
Oh, uh, oh, yes.
Yeah I see it.
Well, it hurts every
time I eat ice cream.
What should I do?
Chew on the other
side for a while.
Oh, right.
- You know what I mean?
- Got it.
- Yeah.
- Good idea.
Well, anyway,
old pal, I'll see you.
And thank you for everything.
You've been great!
Hey, remember,
you floss twice a week.
Thank you Dr. Rose!
Man, I've been
flossing way too much.
Bye, bye Tommy!
Daddy knows
[scatting ]
Alone again
Oh, no, not this creep again.
Oh, yes!
Old MacDonald had a farm
And on that farm
he had a pig
With a [oinks] here,
and a [oinks] there
Here a [oinks] there a
[oinks] everywhere a [oinks]
Old Mac
Oh, dang.
I almost forgot
to call Ms. Rose.
See you tomorrow.
Bye, bye!
[phone rings]
- Hello?
- Howdy, Ms. Rose. It's Tommy.
- Oh, hi, Tommy. - Just wanted to let
you know I finished the paint job.
Oh, great job.
Thank you so much.
Did you remember
to close the door?
- Didn't have to.
- What do you mean?
Didn't have to, Ms. Rose.
Your husband did it for me.
Wait, what are you
talking about, my husband?
As in the man you married.
Dr. Rose came home
just after you left. Ms. Rose?
Tommy, my husband's plane
hasn't even landed yet.
What are you talking about?
Well, that's strange,
cause I just left him at
your house a few minutes ago.
What did he look like?
He was a bunch older than you.
A little chubby, needs a shave.
I'm sure he's a real nice
person on the inside, though.
Uh, that's not my husband.
So there's another
Dr. Rose living with y'all?
That's okay by me.
I don't judge.
Ms. Rose, is something wrong?
I think there's an
intruder in my house.
An intruder!
It must be that creepy
guy from the other day.
Oh, God, the girls!
Don't you worry, Ms. Rose!
I'm on my way and I'm calling
the boys in blue!
[tires squealing]
[phone ringing]
Come on, pick up!
It's killing you not
to answer it, isn't it?
Nope, it's my new thing.
I don't need my
phone to be happy.
[Jessica laughs]
Just answer it!
Okay, fine!
But let the record show,
I showed self-restraint.
- Hello? - [Ilana]
Jessica, thank goodness!
- It's just Mom.
- Uh, are you girls okay?
Yeah, of course, why?
Where are you?
A couple blocks from the house.
Okay Jessica, whatever you
do, just don't go in the house.
- Why?
- What's wrong?
Wait, why can't we
go inside the house?
[Ilana] I think there
may be an intruder.
An intruder?
Inside the house?
Look, I am on my way. Just whatever
you do, don't go in the house, okay?
- Yeah, okay.
- What's going on, Jess?
That was Mom. She thinks there's
an intruder inside the house.
- Arlo!
- [both] Talia!
- Wait!
- I'm coming Arlo!
Oh, jeez, oh.
All right,
you're in my house now.
Oh you, eh?
I thought I smelled sausage.
You know how I like
little piggies?
Two minutes on each side
with a little garlic and oil.
- Yeah, keep it up!
- You know I broke into a lot of houses in my day.
I've seen a lot of watchdogs.
Never a watch pig.
Where the heck
did you come from?
- Hey, back off!
- Anybody got a ham on rye to go?
- [laughs]
- Very funny.
All right,
joke's over little piggy.
I'll make pork fried
rice outta you!
You just try it!
I'm walking outta
here with this vase,
and you ain't stopping me!
I warned you!
- What are you... Hey!
- Get out of here.
- Ow!
- Yeah, take that!
[Ralph shouting]
[Arlo squealing]
Hmm, every victory
deserves a reward.
[Jessica] Talia, wait!
Stop, wait, Talia!
[sirens ringing]
Hey, where are you?
That's him!
- I'm home!
- [Tommy gasps]
Arrest that man!
Tommy, that's my husband!
Oh, right, sorry.
Officer, arrest that man!
What the heck is going on here?
I'll explain later.
Hey, we've been
looking for this!
This was stolen out
of City Hall back in August!
I guess it's worth
a pretty penny.
The Mayor sure will be glad to
have it back where it belongs.
- Are you kidding me?
- Ming dynasty, 10th century.
- It's part of our traveling Chinese exhibit.
- Yep.
And we thought it was a present
from our real estate agent.
Yeah, we found it in the bushes.
Gee, I can only
imagine who put it there.
Hey. Hey!
Hey, I'm no crook!
It was them! It was those people
right there that, that little pig!
He's the ringleader!
What pig is he talking about?
We'll talk about
that later, too.
A... Arlo?
Mom, Dad, come quick!
Uh, oh, oh, okay. Why is there a pig
on the floor and what's wrong with it?
Oh, I, I think he
ate some chocolate,
and pigs can't have chocolate.
Dad, do something!
Honey, if that's...
it's that's true, I'm not...
I'm not sure there's
anything Daddy can do.
Check between his teeth.
He may have some chocolate.
Honey, it may be
too late for that.
[cries] So you're
saying Arlo's dead?
I'm sorry, honey.
Arlo, please don't die.
I love you, Arlo.
Arlo Rose.
And you, Arlo,
you were as much as a part
of this family as anybody.
Please don't die!
[Ilana] I think once, when you
meet that special somebody,
things are gonna
look a lot brighter.
[Arlo burps]
[Arlo grunts]
Oh. Whoa!
I just saw my whole life
flash in front of my eyes.
You came back, my little piggy!
I knew you'd come back to me!
- [Ralph laughs]
- I knew it!
He's a tough little piggy!
[Samantha laughs]
Mom, Dad, please can I keep him?
Are you kidding me? What?
Daddy, please?
I guess if your mom says
we can keep the pig,
then... we're keeping the pig.
You hear that, Arlo?
[Arlo] Yeah, all right!
I'm staying!
Arlo, you're staying for good!
[Samantha] Come here, Arlo!
Our little hero.
[Arlo squealing]
Look how cute!
See, Dad?
- Yep.
- He's perfect.
[camera clicking]
["Best Night" by Sofi K]
It's one in the morning
and you can't sleep
It's been a long day at
work so you can't breathe
But you're too
tired to even eat
So you stand here on
your two feet singing
Oh, hey, hands to the sky
Stand around the fire
Sing up real high
Oh, hey, everything
will be all right
Cause tonight is
gonna be the best night
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Look around
and all you can see
Is the clouds up above me
Sitting here with
your best friend
The sun's going down
and it's gonna end singing
Oh, hey, hands to the sky
Stand around the fire
Sing up real high
Oh, hey, everything
will be all right
Cause tonight is
gonna be the best night
Best night, best night
Go from sundown to daylight
Best night
Best night, best night
Go from sundown to daylight
Best night
Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Whoa, oh, oh, oh
It's a summer night
The moon is shining
The people sing
Oh let's keep rocking
We're kicking back
in the sand
Oh, let's keep moving
Cause tonight is
gonna be the best night
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Singing, oh, hey,
hands to the sky
Stand around the fire
Sing up real high
Oh, hey, everything
will be all right
Cause tonight is
gonna be the best night
Best night, best night
Go from sundown to daylight
Best night
Best night, best night
Go from sundown to daylight
Best night
Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Put your hands to the sky
Wanna have the best night
Everything's all right
Wanna have the best night
Oh, oh, oh
Put your hands to sky
We're gonna have
the best night
Oh, oh, oh
Everything's all right
Gonna have the best night
Late now and
you've gone to sleep
But I'm still
here on my two feet
We're missing you,
your best friends
It's the summer that
will never end, singing
Oh, hey, hands to the sky
Stand around the fire
Sing up real high
Oh, hey, everything
will be all right
Cause tonight is
gonna be the best night
Best night, best night
Go from sundown to daylight
Best night
Best night, best night
Go from sundown to daylight
Best night
Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Put your hands to sky
Gonna have the best night
Everything's all right
Gonna have the best night
Oh, oh, oh
Put your hands to the sky
Oh, oh, oh
Gonna have the best night
Oh, oh, oh
Everything's all right
Oh, oh, oh
Gonna have the best night