Asperger's Are Us (2016) Movie Script

- I find it easier
to make people laugh
once they start
to understand me,
get my sense of humor.
But if you just ask me
to tell you a joke,
well usually, I'll probably
tell you an anti-joke,
with a true story.
- It's always fun,
'cause whenever someone asks,
I run away in fear.
- So, even though I'm pretty
analytical in general,
I tend not to analyze
comedy very much,
just because for me,
it is what it is.
You don't really need
to know more than that.
Of course, there's
also a science of it.
- The best way to be funny
is to always explain your jokes
right after you tell them.
You need to be like,
"Get it?"
- When I got my
diagnosis 10 years ago,
I knew I need to meet
more people like me,
'cause I never have.
I spent 20 years in utter
isolation and confusion.
And two is, I have to make it
so no one else has to do that.
When we started
this comedy troupe,
all we could focus on is,
let's come up with stuff
that makes us laugh.
Jump on my train yeah
My little train of thought
Jump on my train yeah
My little train of thought
I know what I have
Do you know what you got
Jump on my train yeah
My little train of thought
The season's shifting, yeah
But I'm cool to hot
Jump on my train, yeah
My train, my
train of thought
- Are there challenges? Yes.
But, it's not all bad,
and we've developed these things
which we think are very funny
and we like to
share with people.
- I might be here at
this comedy show tonight.
- Yeah, it's great to support
people with disabilities
by just throwing
your money at them.
The famous people, yeah
They go out looking proud
They're standing right 'round
And breaking holy ground
The famous people
They got their demons
I got my demons
But in my she's believin'
Hey famous people yeah
Step on my train
And make a movie
And it will be
the real thing
- Mom?
- Dad?
- You want to
put me into foster care,
and then adopt some other kid?
- Exactly!
You're understanding perfectly.
- I'm gonna go get another
one from the truck!
- Everyone always says,
"Oh, your name is so funny."
And I'm like, "No, we really
do have Asperger's," but
two years or something
into the troupe, I realized
I guess the name is funny,
'cause it's
grammatically incorrect,
but I never thought about it.
- Well Microsoft Word
always corrected it.
Asperger's is We.
Jump on my train yeah
My little train my
train of thought
I love you so much
- Doing great.
I love you so much
Last time, everybody
close your eyes.
Think about what
you love the most.
I love you so much
Good morning, everyone.
I love you all,
thanks for watching!
I got shirts and bags and hair
if anyone wants
to buy that hair.
It's free.
Thanks for doing that.
- That was a great set!
- Thanks, tight!
- Never done that before.
- Well, that's what she said.
All right, I'll be in the can.
- That is what she said.
- I was in elementary
school and I saw this
video about Kenya,
and it said they run everywhere.
I was like, "Why
don't we do that?"
It's better exercise,
you get there faster.
No downside.
So ever since, I just
run everywhere I go
if I'm by myself.
So then everyone was like,
"Noah's weird, he
runs everywhere."
And I didn't mind,
'cause I was like,
"It's better to be
right than popular."
But, as I get
older, I recognize,
it depends on the situation.
- Next stop, West Newton.
- So this is my actual brain,
and one of the
benefits of having a
in vogue medical
or mental condition
is that there's
a lot of research
that you could get paid to do,
and I did that over at MIT.
Down there, it says ANAT,
but it looks like ANAL.
It's a true story.
My old social worker Steven Hoyt
invented this.
And ironically,
it's put right over
a hole in the wall.
'Cause I used to
have an anger problem
where I'd have violent outburts
and I would break things.
I don't do that any more.
I know that that's not okay
and I can control myself,
partly due to the
six R's of anger.
For decades, I was
known as Aaron.
I decided when I turned 18
to go my New Michael,
instead of my slave name, Aaron.
That's the story.
You know, many people
still from high school
still know me as Aaron,
or sometimes people have
a hard time remembering
to call me New Michael who've
known me all those years,
so I always correct 'em though.
I don't give anyone a pass,
for the most part.
- And where
does New Michael come from?
- It comes from the heart.
My name is New Michael.
My dad's Old Michael.
I'm New Michael.
- It's a job.
- Waiter, waiter?
- Serving somebody.
- We all met at a summer camp
for kids with Asperger's.
It was like a chance for
kids on the autism spectrum
to meet other kids on
the autism spectrum.
That was probably the
most important part.
Myself, Ethan, Jack, all had
really big senses of humor.
We were always in the
same group together.
For us, like,
you knew you were winning
if everybody was laughing.
- You're gonna
recognize it like this.
- Noah also joined the group
to meet other people
with Asperger's.
He just joined as a counselor.
- I was in a group with
Ethan and New Michael,
and Noah was one
of our counselors,
and by that point, we had
pretty developed senses of humor
and like we were actually
sort of objectively funny.
Well, as objective
as humor can be.
- They became some of my really
good friends at that camp.
To a point where we started
hanging out outside, as well.
Well some of us had the idea
to start a comedy group.
So, that's how Asperger's
Are Us was born.
- These guys were 17
when this troupe started,
so three or four 17
year olds and me,
and it was very much like
the work I have to do
as a camp counselor of,
I'm gonna separate
you guys right now,
take two minutes and then talk
to each other like adults.
- I think me and Noah definitely
are the Pauls and the Johns
of the group.
It's just like sometimes the
days of the early Beatles,
they would mistake John as
the leader of the group.
That's what's happened with us.
It would bother me more so
because it would make it out
to be like, you know,
sort of like how it was
when he was our counselor,
and like he's
basically directing us
and thinking of the ideas,
and it was tough.
Maybe it bothered me more
so than the other guys,
because I was, you know,
the McCartney of the group.
But it doesn't really
happen much any more,
it doesn't really
bother me much any more.
- We usually do
have nowhere to rehearse
and just have to wander around.
It's been three years,
you'd think we'd have a
rehearsal space by now,
but we don't.
How you feelin' Ethan?
You okay?
- What's wrong? Tell us.
You don't want to get what?
Kicked out?
We're not gonna get
kicked out of the mall.
This is perfect.
No one will care if we're here.
Oh, okay, I'm sorry.
We'll go.
Sorry about that,
we didn't know.
We can do it right here.
This is where I...
See Ethan, that wasn't so bad.
- Yeah, except I
knew it would happen.
- I know, but
nothing bad happened.
I knew it'd happen eventually.
- We walked right past him.
- It was okay.
- One time I got
kicked out of the store
across the street from my house,
but I was wearing a devil mask.
True story.
- So do you guys want to
do a superhero palace show?
- Yeah, we can do that.
- No.
- No?
- I don't want to
take any big risks
'cause it's like our last,
potentially our last show.
I want it to end...
- That's the worst philosophy!
You need to take a big risk!
- You can't
record on property here.
- Oh, where does
the property end?
We could go on this bridge.
That might work.
Let's film in this little area
in between these cars.
- Guys, just remember,
there's a whole
bunch of sketches...
- That we've never done.
- That we've not only
have we never done,
but sketches, no.
- But they're not that good.
- So it's
all a bunch of sketches
that we have done,
but never to a
Massachusetts audience.
There's the YMCA poop sketch.
- Yes.
- There is the...
- Haunted house sketch.
- The haunted house sketch.
- New Michael and
superhero palace.
Guys, this is a
really good idea.
We'll be able to do material
that we've worked on
but haven't performed yet,
and also, it'll be
really, really silly.
So we need to book a palace.
Think about-yeah?
- It's been time when we-
it's time we can finally
make the algebra joke.
- Which one was that?
- I don't know.
I haven't thought of it yet.
I always wanted to make
a joke about algebra.
- Jerk!
- Guys, this is
gonna be so good!
This is gonna be
like on the level
of like a train that
Elton John is riding
in the Civil War.
- You go to Boston
like every day?
- What?
- You go to Boston
like every day?
Is that why I see you
all the time on the T?
- Yeah, pretty much.
- You should come to what
might be our last ever show,
this August.
- Where?
- We don't know
precisely where yet.
Do you know of any-
there's a bunch of
venues we're exploring.
- Nice!
- We haven't decided one yet.
- That's awesome.
I'd love to go!
- I spend a lot of time
actively avoiding people
so I can get my work done.
30 days til classes
start at Oxford.
I don't know how I'm gonna do
with all the things
I have to do.
I just,
literally don't know
what my priorities are.
I mean, Asperger's Are
Us is really important,
but I'm worried that
I literally cannot
devote the time to it
that I need to.
- It's been an interesting
ride, so to speak.
You know, when Jack was, say,
pre-school age,
kindergarten age,
you know, he had gotten his
diagnosis with Asperger's,
and we weren't even
sure he could handle
a mainstream school
or curriculum.
He was easily frustrated
when he was very young,
and he would have tantrums.
They'd have to clear
the classroom, you know,
'cause Jack was
acting up, you know?
But, as he matured,
he's come out of that
for the most part.
Still he yells at me.
You know, we're like
this some times.
Maybe we're too
similar, I don't know.
obviously he's doing very well,
going to Oxford next month.
One thing that's
hard for me as a dad
is that I like to touch,
and Jack doesn't
like being touched.
- It's not so much
I don't like it as
it just makes no
impression on me.
- Makes no impression.
But that's how I
communicate affection.
And he doesn't, you
know, you gotta have
the receiver as well as a giver.
I give it, but he
doesn't receive it,
so it's frustrating as a parent.
- Yep.
It's like feeding a skeleton.
I mean, you put
something in the bones,
it just falls through.
- Exactly.
- So basically
you're a skeleton?
- Basically.
- You know you're loved, right?
- Is
- Yeah, I know I'm loved.
- Now arriving at Ipswich Hills.
- This is the last
time you'll see us
for a year, and maybe,
you know, forever.
God knows what'll
happen, you know?
Jack could get
killed in England.
It's unlikely,
but it's possible.
I always prepare for
things like that.
That's why I'll tell
him, "Bye forever."
And next summer,
we could be too busy to perform.
Other guys might
have full-time jobs,
God knows.
This could be our
final show ever,
so we're gonna work hard
to make it a good one.
How are you doin'?
You guys okay?
- Yes.
- So we were talking
about our show.
- We will have a lot more
to do than we're expecting.
- No, I'm expecting it.
- Well, okay.
- Like, I've been warning
you guys about it.
- We'll have more to do than
like you don't know
that the specifics are
that we'll have to do later.
What I mean is that
there will be surprises
that we'll have to do.
- All good shows have surprises,
and ours will not
be an exception.
- Exactly.
But I think we'll have it down,
we always have.
We've always been
able to do the show.
- You know, one thing...
- There've been a few
errors occasionally, but...
- You know, one thing I,
one thing I'm gonna note,
originally before
we decided to do the
superhero palace thing,
I was telling a few
people, you know,
this might be our,
maybe the last ever show.
Well now I'm gonna
hold off on that talk.
You know, especially
my older family members
who've seen the show before
but haven't gone in a while.
I'm not gonna
invite them to this.
- I think that's really
a terrible decision.
- I don't think
they'll like this.
Like I see my Uncle Joe.
- Yeah.
- Who loved us.
- Yeah.
- I see him not getting
the superhero thing at all.
- I think we can make it clear.
That sucks that you think that,
'cause I think this should
be our biggest show.
I think you should
promote it the most.
- It might be our biggest
show, but I'm not...
- I think we should
promote it the most
and bring in the most people,
because it is gonna be our
last show for a long time.
- I don't have a
problem with it.
I think it's a good idea,
I mean if it bombs, it bombs.
- It's gonna be a disaster.
It's going to be...
- Don't start thinking this way.
- I was born this way.
All right, so don't
you dare say that.
- Don't run near the pool!
You'll slip and fall in!
- Uploaded on YouTube is a
safety album by Elton John.
The joke about it
being Elton John
is it's obviously
not Elton John,
it's sort of a pretend,
pretend thing.
But it's just me shouting,
safety like tidbits,
like, "Stay close to an adult!"
Or, "Don't give your identity
to anyone on the Internet!"
Anyways, here's the album.
- Watch out for poison ivy,
and check for ticks afterwards
when you're in the woods!
Stay close to an adult!
Stay close to an adult!
- At some point maybe,
I started shouting
safety advice,
and then I think it
might have been Noah,
recommended, "Well why don't
you take all these things
"and turn it into
the safety album?"
And it was a big success.
One of the things I'm
most proud of, I guess.
Like most 16 year olds,
I sort of felt awkward
around my parents,
and yet I still do, actually,
but probably more so back then,
and definitely in some ways,
and anyways, they
were home and upstairs
in this room actually,
and I was downstairs
recording it.
If I sound held back
or insecure on it,
it's because of that.
- You feel more comfortable
with your parents now?
- With my mom, yes.
- There's the tour of my
broken down garage,
which I plan on
replacing the door
in a couple of months.
Occasionally I have him ride
the mower, cut the grass.
His name is New Michael.
We always called him by
his middle name, Aaron.
When he was a baby growing up.
So, he doesn't like that name,
that's fine.
He likes New Michael.
But he always still
has that Aaron name
as a middle name.
And that's my
story on that part.
I kind of wish I was
more educated and
than what I am.
Well, I'm not as smart as he is.
I wish I was so I could
more interact with him.
You know?
I enjoy being with him,
he's fun to be with,
and he's a real good kid.
I feel like I don't do enough.
Maybe it's 'cause I work,
I always worked a lot of hours,
so I didn't really
get to grow up with
both of my kids,
Amanda and my son, New Michael.
So, that's why my
wife knows more
about Asperger's Are Us
and his friends.
I don't really know
as much as she does,
but I'm starting
to see a lot now.
- They all actually met
through the program,
which was kind of a
last resort for me
to try to find a place
where he could fit,
because we wrestled as parents
with some of his
unique qualities.
- Now this is one of
I guess five binders that we got
from the summer program.
So Jack said this was the
worst part of the day.
Every single day,
at the end of the day,
they did a self-evaluation.
- I had this strange compulsion
to be honest on these.
I think this is
the sort of thing
that the average person
is better at than
someone on the spectrum,
trying sort of hard
but not as hard as you can.
Like, this is why you never see
anyone on the spectrum jogging.
Either you want to
run full out or,
either you're going
to run full out
or you want to walk.
I mean, there's
no point in being
kind of, and making things
kind of difficult by jogging,
but not actually putting
your full effort in.
I mean, technically
there is, but,
it doesn't appear that
way to your brain,
so it's stressful.
- So they had
to rate one to five?
- One to five.
- I think that was it.
- One to 10, I had
low self-esteem that summer.
- Oh was it really one to 10?
- No, I'm just kidding.
- Oh, okay.
This is a pretty good day.
- For a long time,
the only way I could
be liked by people
was by making jokes
and being funny.
That's still by
far the easiest way
I can relate to people.
This is my high school
graduation photo.
By the time I graduated
from high school,
I was voted the class,
I was voted most
outgoing by the class.
Which is insane,
and I think that was because
I finally in high school
learned to use comedy.
People literally changed
their opinion of me over time,
because I learned to connect
with them through humor.
Like this is the
way I learned to
cross the bridge between myself
and the rest of the world.
This is how I learned
to have an identity,
by making jokes.
- Well Literate Man has to like
explain to him how
to form the letters,
but it's all messy and stuff.
- That's too confusing!
I don't want four
steps in this one joke.
So wait,
what were the two ideas you
had that were really good?
Gandhi definitely...
- All of them.
Literate Man could
run in and be like,
"Gandhi's been kidnapped!"
And then Pun Man's like,
"I would listen, but
I'm not that India."
People keep interrupting
him with like
whatever their stupid
personalities are.
Whatever their powers are.
Like Bad Idea Man's like,
"Nope, I think we should
burn down our house!"
Condescending Man interrupts
and says, "Nope, it's time
to check the chore wheel!"
- But also if we ever want
to save money on actors,
we can just use
Invisible Man more often.
Darkness Man takes
over the world.
- Darkness Man takes over!
- What if we
actually gave someone
a coffee enema on stage?
- I'm not doing it.
- One of the problems with
the pilot we tried to do
was it didn't have
enough of a plot.
- Shut up,
Contradictory Idea Man!
- Ethan, you all right?
- Yeah, I'm just tired.
- Guys, I just...
- He's holding the
dictionary of crime.
- Yes, guys...
- What are you do-
who did that?
- New Michael was
not being careful.
- Oh, sorry about that.
You need to wipe it off.
- We need to clean this up.
- Was it literally
a major disaster?
I don't think so.
- Nah, it's not.
- It could have been!
- It literally could have been.
- Yeah,
everything could have been
a major disaster.
- Nope, most things
probably never would be.
- It could be.
- No.
- the word.
- Can you guys get to New
Michael's house tomorrow?
- No wait.
I don't know about
doing it at my house,
but no one could
stay at my house...
- Well, we don't
have anywhere else
to do it in Beverly.
- You know, I guess we
could do it at my house.
I guess I feel like I...
- If we're just doing a writing
session, not a run through.
- Yeah, and also my family's
more apt to leave me alone
if there's a camera crew.
- How do you know that?
- I've lived with
them for 20 years.
- How many camera crews
have you had in your house?
- Well...
- So do you want to do a
part in this documentary
where we all just talk
shit about each other?
This train leaves at noon,
gets to Gloucester, which
is the next stop, at 12:08,
West Gloucester at about 12:13.
Manchester at 12:18,
Beverly Farms at 12:24,
Montserrat at 12:30,
Beverly at 12:34.
I don't have as
intricate a knowledge
of like all the mechanics of it
as some quote-unquote
rail fans do,
but I do enjoy the trains,
and I know the different
systems in the country
as well as around the world.
So we are at Bear
Skin Neck in Rockport.
I'll come here and
get a good outlet
for my creativity.
In fact, I'll stand right there.
It's a great outlet.
Recently, I've
been more stressed
than I have been in the past,
but I think that has to do with
like sort of still transitioning
into like, into college, and
gaining more independence
and worrying what I'm
going to do with my life.
- What are you
gonna do with your life?
- Yeah, exactly.
I don't know.
We'll see where things
take me, you know?
- The next train from Rockport
has departed from Salem!
The next train to Boston
has departed from Montserrat.
- What train are you taking?
- Train to Rockport.
- He doesn't want
me to interrupt.
He doesn't want me to interrupt.
He wants to read.
That's okay.
- Train to Rockport.
- He's covering his ears
'cause he doesn't want
me to talk to him.
Such an Aspie.
- Next train to Boston!
Next train to Rockport
- Ethan likes trains, too.
You worried about the noise?
- Trains might be loud.
- You wanna look
at the schedule?
- Next train to Rockport
in four minutes.
- You like the schedules?
You wanna look at it?
You can.
You can look at
it if you want to.
I've spent a lot of my time
numbing myself,
because of the hypersensitivity.
I have my sunglasses
and my mp3 player,
and I'm playing songs
that I already know,
and it's cutting
off my sensitivity,
like it's dulling my
senses in general.
And this means I can put
up with stuff a lot more.
We're hypersensitive
'cause something's irritating
us from the inside,
and our environment can
exacerbate or
inhibit this process,
but it's not the
underlying cause.
Something else is
going on internally.
And it comes out in those
particular bad situations.
This is my diagnosis.
The actual first time
I ever got diagnosed
on the autism spectrum.
You have this,
here's the good sides of it,
good luck!
And I skipped home,
'cause I felt freer
than I ever had,
and I was just-
it explained everything
that had ever happened to me
that didn't make sense.
20 years.
Every human being
has stuff that bothers
us more than others.
Aspies, there's certain
things that bother us
in a way that only like
true, physical trauma
would bother a neurotypical.
You know, the trauma of like
getting mugged,
many Aspies are
feeling every week.
- Wow, that sounds menacing!
I'm so sorry to hear that.
- That's not even
the half of it!
It's like, when the custom
of a woman is upon me,
I'm not even in control.
She's in control.
- All right, so we're making
a pretend tampon commercial,
and instead of saying period,
we're saying
"custom of a woman,"
which is how they said it
in the King James edition
of the Old Testament.
- Is this your sister's dress?
- No.
- Where did you...
- We bought it for,
for superhero palace.
We've known each other since
junior year of high school.
She was a senior.
And I was
I was the cute junior girl.
- I was the jock senior.
- She was the jock senior.
And when I saw her,
my ass tingled.
So silly.
- I'll take these out.
I need some water first.
I think we have it.
- Okay,
I'm taking this off.
- I mean honestly, if
you think about it,
it might not even
be absurd enough.
There've been times when
when I felt like I
really wanted to work on
something different creatively.
Meaghan and I brainstormed ideas
for our love troupe,
so I'm really excited
about the hiatus.
Because we've been
doing Asperger's Are Us
for three years now.
I understand the other guys are
sick of doing a sketch show.
We've been doing it for
three years, almost.
And they have the
mindset that, you know,
we'll be doing
mostly old material.
You can come sit over here.
anyways, so I was skeptical,
I don't want to do the
superhero palace show.
All the other guys wanted to,
so I acquiesced in going along.
Well anyways, a few days ago,
I emailed all of them,
listed all the reasons
why I don't think
we should do the
superhero palace show.
So I'm glad I put my foot down
and I asserted myself.
- It made me feel
sad in a way that
you cockblocking
my creativity did
'cause it made me
have to watch myself.
- Don't say that.
That's a mean thing to say.
- I know,
and I don't know
how else to say it,
because it made me
feel really bad!
'Cause I was like...
- Well you know what?
A lot of the times,
the things you say make
me feel really bad.
For instance, when
we're together
and you just in a
monotone voice say,
"That's stupid," or,
"that's not a good joke."
When it's just
totally not necessary.
You do this all the time, so...
- That's stupid!
- Because I gave
very valid reason...
- If you guys want,
we can make this
like our White Album,
where you come up with
a bunch of sketches,
and I come up with the
superhero palace idea,
and you guys throw in contributions
as needed to either one,
and we come together,
and then we make a
full show that's like
two halves put together.
- Superhero palace and sketches?
- Yeah!
- I like this idea.
- Yeah, see if it's funny.
- Yeah, give it a whirl,
see where we stand.
- Ideally we would rehearse
all day Saturday, right?
- Yeah.
- Tomorrow at your house...
- I mean I need
to think about it.
- Okay, so I'll see you
fellas at New Michael's
at 2:45 or something.
I'm excited to do this.
You were right.
We don't have enough time
to do a totally
new play and show.
And I hadn't thought about
how little time we
had to rehearse.
- Sometimes,
the difference between you
and some people, they...
- They're more humble.
I'm the humblest!
- And they
they think of a lot of things,
but don't necessarily think
that they're worth saying.
Oh man!
- Where is this going?
- It's yellow, so you
get a double Decker.
- I get an upper Decker.
Where is he?
Bye forever, I'll
see you tomorrow.
- Yeah.
- Love you.
- I think we worked it out.
We came to a good compromise.
And we'll see how things go.
It's not unusual for
Noah to say things
that kind of hurt my feelings,
but I get over them
pretty quickly,
'cause I know they're
not on purpose.
And we'll have a good
day tomorrow, so.
- I'm very tired.
I just worked a whole week
with a bunch of Aspie kids,
and now I'm gonna continue
to hang out with a
bunch of Aspie kids,
doing something that's
much more difficult.
Can I wake you up yet?
- No, but
Jack is running way late.
- I noticed, did
you talk to him?
Everybody, welcome
to improv 101,
because we want you
to improve yourself
101 percent!
- You can't spell
improve without improv!
- Oh, that's great!
- Who summons the bee keeper?
- Funny!
And the rabbi interrupts him,
and says, "Sorry
to cut you off!"
- Oh no!
- See what you did?
And what do you think,
how should the razor
blade sketch end?
They're cutting
themselves with razors.
God, I wish there were
a less painful way
to test razor blades!
This is really funny,
who wrote this?
You by yourself, New Michael?
- Yeah.
- It's really good.
- I wrote it way back in March.
- Okay, so...
- And remember what
happens in March...
- Stays in March!
- I'll go get another
one from the truck!
- No, no, no.
No, no, no.
You say, "What, already?"
- fart?
- I don't think so.
- I didn't.
- Yeah, I did.
- That's why we got rid of you.
- You know one thing about,
my least favorite
thing about you guys
is that you smell
and you sneeze and cough.
- Yeah, like
you smell any better.
- And fart all over my room.
But with all you
guys here together,
it makes it, I can't
even be in this room,
it smells so bad afterwards, so.
- I mean, we all do it!
You do it in my house, too.
All right, you wanna do one
of these sketches, New Michael
Or do you wanna sit
here and smell things
that you don't want to smell?
- I don't, no, I...
- Well we're
not, we're almost...
- All right, New Michael Nees
to take a break, that's fine.
- That's really,
that really like
sensory up the wall.
- Okay.
I'll stop.
All right.
- Yeah, I'm feeling all awkward,
'cause my sister's home.
See this is why I can't
do it at my house.
- We gave you the option...
- No, you didn't!
You said we have to,
"Where else is it gonna be?
"It has to be at your house!"
- No, I asked.
- I'm not, I'm not
talkin' about you!
- Okay!
- It's been going
fine, New Michael.
Do you need us to go...
- I understand rehearsal's
been going well so far.
I'm saying that I feel upset.
And my sister hasn't been
home the whole time, either!
- Do you need us
to go downstairs?
'Cause I'm hungry, I
could eat something.
- I want you guys to leave.
- I'm not gonna leave.
It's 5:30.
We have an hour and a
half, we need to rehearse.
- Well I'm leaving, then.
Fuck you guys!
Like I can't handle this.
- All right.
Keep working on this.
That's always how it goes.
All right.
Ethan, are you all right?
- Well, I'm not
happy, but I'm doing okay.
- New Michael just
gets sensitive
when his family's home.
- Yeah, and well,
he doesn't need to act
like it's everyone else's fault.
- I get frustrated,
I can't handle it.
I had to leave.
I feel awkward doing rehearsals
and stuff in my house.
And now it's a
little overwhelming.
You know, I just want
it to be done now.
- I'm gonna log out,
we have to leave now.
- Well hopefully New
Michael won't kill us tomorrow.
- I know,
he's probably gonna be pissed,
he's gonna be more sensitive
than normal when he arrives,
it's gonna make
rehearsal more difficult.
- Later!
- Didn't want to be
doing rehearsal here,
and like I was having a really,
really bad sensory issue.
I guess I kind of
feel like a jerk
getting upset about
things, but it's like,
I mean it is really
annoying having-
it's just a big inconvenience
having it at my
house, that's all.
Like here's this huge
huge prop that I wasn't
expecting to be here, but,
I'll just put it over here
in the corner, I guess.
That wasn't a good choice by me,
at all.
- All of this stuff that's hard,
that's difficult for us,
this is what we get for
starting Asperberger's Are Us.
Like these are challenges
we have as Aspies,
we can't do multiple
things at once.
This is why we get extra credit
from people who don't
know anything about us
and just know about the
concept of the troupe,
this is the price we're paying.
So I guess in the end,
it works out pretty fair.
How many people go to
the Special Olympics
'cause they want to see somebody
break a world record?
I wish more people did.
Certainly, some people there
can be really quick or
really good at their sport.
it is the challenges
that interest them,
and this is one of the
challenges we have to face
that makes this show insane
for us to have booked.
So I don't appear
To need your help
I'll look like I'm okay
I'll tell you the truth
I'd love to be a different way
I love playing songs
to 20 people every night
But I'd rather play to packed
houses under stage lights
I'd rather quit my job
As a professor
And just do this all day
'Cause this is
what I was born for
But I'm not complainin'
I love performin'
And entertainin'
And I make a good livin'
And I get the groupies
And some of them love me
But why aren't I famous?
Why aren't I famous?
Laughter, really.
And also about
improving people's
standards for comedy,
if anything, that's
the takeaway message
from what we're doing.
Everyone always asks, you know,
"So the point of
you guys isn't to
"teach everybody
that autistic people,
"that autistic
people can be funny?"
And like, no, that's
not the point.
Like, we're together
'cause we think we're funny
and we like what we're doing,
and we want it out there.
We want to sail a
flotilla to Spain.
That's really what we've
been working on for
for the last three years, yeah.
I'm glad you get it.
They cut that from
the NPR interview,
'cause they didn't get it.
We're not trying to
connect with the audience.
Our goal is to be funny
for our own entertainment.
If you enjoy it,
that's wonderful.
If you don't, I'm
sorry that you didn't!
The audience gives you
positive reinforcement,
and that's awesome.
But, if they don't,
you get it from
succeeding at your goal
of being hilarious
for your own sake.
And so if your material is good,
and you don't screw it up live,
then you won!
And I love winning!
Almost as much as
I love swinging.
We want to sell out Earth.
We want aliens to
come to the show
and be turned away
because it's full.
But we're realistic,
so if the aliens get
in, that's okay, too.
- Well today,
I will be talking to
K-Strass on the phone.
- K-Strass is back with
us again from Zip-Zap.
We thank you for
joining us this morning.
- All right, K-Strass,
good morning,
thanks for coming on!
- Thank you, how are you?
- Good!
- And you go around to
schools with yo-yos?
- Teaching kids
about being green!
- Actually, I've only
been in one school so far.
- And I'll be honest,
it didn't go so hot.
In fact, it was literally
a major disaster.
- Oh no!
- What I say is, you know,
life has a lot of ups and downs.
- Mm-hmm.
- And...
Let's bring it back home
for a clean landing,
- Oh!
- Oh, you all right?
- Could we, do you have a clip?
- A clip?
- Like did Joe send a clip over?
- No, we don't have a clip.
That's what you're doing.
A clip of what
you've done before?
- Yeah.
- Never forget the first
time I saw K-Strass.
Noah sent me an email
with two of the videos.
I walked upstairs to my bedroom,
and I was literally
hysterically laughing
in bed and thinking about
it the rest of the night.
Here it is!
- Is this New Michael?
- Yes, yes this is New Michael.
Is this Mark?
- This is Mark.
This is New Mark.
- Oh, oh great!
Was your father Old Mark?
- Yes,
Mark Senior.
New Mark Se-
Old Mark Senior.
- Oh.
We share-
I never knew somebody
else who did that.
- No one else does
that, New Michael.
Just you.
- Yeah.
You can do the,
you know, just I'll be literally
every other character
except for Shapeshifter,
who will be K-Strass.
- I just want to thank you guys
for thinking of
me for doing this.
That means a lot.
- I'm not,
Yeah, well, I mean,
it means a lot to us
to have you doing this for us.
I mean we're all
really, really big fans.
All right, talk to
you in a minute.
- All right.
- Bye.
- All right,
I'll talk to you then.
- All right.
You know, I almost feel
a little like giggling,
'cause his voice actually is
just like K-Strass's voice,
and like I feel silly saying,
if it makes me giggle
remembering K-Strass,
it's like I'm
talking to K-Strass!
- They really kind of took
to the K-Strass character.
This is a character that
you would meet in Wisconsin.
You know, somebody that
is very friendly and
discloses a little bit
too much,
and but I was really flattered
that they found something
a little bit deeper.
Hello, Literate Man.
I have assumed the
shape of K-Strass,
the yo-yo man.
- Wow, your shapeshifting
skills are uncanny!
All right, um...
- Do you want me
holding my soda still?
- Yeah, sure, hold the soda.
That'll be funny.
- Warm brain,
I got a brain fart, and
yeah, I just, I don't
think I could go.
- All right, scene!
Definitely what you
expect from K-Strass.
So, he's good at it.
He knows what he's doing.
- Here we have the
infamous gazebo,
which I'm really excited
to get a shot of,
'cause it has the stupidest sign
you could put
outside of a gazebo.
'Cause what the hell else
are you gonna do in a gazebo?
I'm a rebel without
a cause, baby!
No, I love the guys
in Asperger's Are Us.
I think their positives outweigh
their negatives definitely.
We do piss each other off,
but we're like brothers.
I mean, I wouldn't really know,
having never had one.
- Me and Noah started to develop
a pretty strong friendship
a little bit before
Asperger's Are Us.
He would call me
and we'd talk on the phone
for a really long time,
and I was like, "Oh,
that's cool," you know?
You know, 'cause
it was still like
Noah's the older counselor.
You wouldn't call your
close friends your mentors,
but back then,
Noah was a close friend
but also a mentor
because of the age difference
and how much he had to teach me.
- Ideally, New Michael
would be able to get
a career out of this.
I would love to make a career
out of this more than anything
but if I can't, I'll be okay.
I'm really concerned what
New Michael's gonna do
if this doesn't work.
- Being in a
working relationship
with him though,
has in some ways makes
you know, in some ways I
think is not necessarily
good for our friendship at
this moment, at this point.
- This one time,
New Michael grabbed Noah
in the middle of the night,
drove him to the beach,
threw him in the water,
said, "I never want
to see you again."
Noah got back at him,
burned the house down,
they both did some
jail time, it was,
it's not a moment in our troupe
we like to remember, and
Jack, well,
the less said about Jack's
dark side, the better.
Sorry, I totally
knocked you off base!
- Although I know we're
not gonna hang out
or talk much in the
next nine months,
New Michael really
is my best friend.
And has been since
he was a teenager,
which is weird,
but you try and
find another Aspie
who I can get along with,
and maybe we'll be
best friends instead.
- Their humor, I think,
is what really
brought them together,
and then Noah would
extend the relationship.
- I hope you guys
aren't talking about me.
- You told me to be myself!
- See,
see how the humor just,
it's just there!
- I actually didn't have to say
too much of anything.
Good thing your mother's
being interviewed,
'cause she has a lot
of great things to say.
- No, you know me.
I talk too much.
I'm allotted like
one question a day or something
so he doesn't like to
give away too much.
So we can only get so much
information, one at a time.
That's another reason
why I like that
I help get these guys around,
because I get Ethan
and Noah and Jack,
and I'll ask them,
"So do you guys have a
performance coming up?"
"Oh yeah, at such and
such and such and such."
- It's available online
for free, if anything.
- Uh-huh.
Sometimes it's not,
but that's how I find
out a lot of stuff, too,
so hopefully...
- Are you
guys coming to this show?
- I don't think so.
- Where is it, in Cambridge?
- Yeah.
- Why can't we go?
- I don't think
we are overly welcome,
but that's okay.
'Cause we've seen them perform...
- Are we welcome New Michael?
- Hmm.
- What time is it?
The show?
- The show's at midnight,
so you guys probably
wouldn't want to go.
- Aww, shucks.
- I'd be sleeping at that time!
- Yeah.
Oh well, we'll catch
your next show, honey!
- I guess that's telling me
you don't want me to go.
- He does that a lot.
From the mainstream.
- We gotta go.
- Yes.
- Uh oh.
- So I have to leave.
- Okay.
- The interview's clean.
My son don't want me there.
- Yeah, I know,
I know the feeling.
- I don't understand why.
- Well, it's the same as,
you know how you're
worrying about how you're,
you know, you're like I don't
know if I'm a good father.
I think it's that same sense of
of shame and
insecurity that he has
that makes him not want you guys
to see what he's doing,
'cause he just feels
funny about it.
- Feels uncomfortable?
- Yeah, exactly.
I don't think it's
anything personal,
it's just, you know,
you're his parents
and so he's like,
that's the most intimate thing,
and so it's scary for him.
- So I better not
let him see me!
Yeah, exactly!
If you hide, he'll be all right.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you know?
I didn't let my mom
see me play a show
til I was like 24,
and I didn't let my dad
until I was, what, 21?
22, something like that.
He tells us stories about like,
"Yeah, me and my dad hung out
throwing socks at the fan,
"and it was really fun."
Yeah, yeah.
We do some fun things.
- He loves that stuff
about you, you know?
And those are the moments.
- Those were the old days.
- Oh, nah, that
wasn't that long ago.
That was a couple years ago
that you guys were doing that.
- Yeah, yeah, you know.
- But he got that
silliness from you
and it makes him such
a better comedian.
Every Aspie parent seems to fear
their kid hates them or
their kid is unhappy,
and it's 'cause their
kid isn't communicating
very much with them.
That's part of the autism is
you're self-centered,
so you really want
to stay within you
and not get out and
interact with the world,
which includes your
parents, unfortunately.
Is it overwhelming for you
to ride the train like this
when you have somewhere
important to go?
- Back and forth.
- Yeah, that makes sense.
- Like just back and
forth is overwhelming,
but if I were just riding
the train coming to a point,
it would be fine.
I mean, transferring
is not an issue,
although I do always get
overwhelmed in rush hour
'cause I'm bumping into people.
- It's good you aren't in
any Chris Tucker films.
Doing really good, dude.
I'm really happy that we're
in this troupe together.
- Very good, me too.
- You are the rock
that keeps us alive.
- Great.
- Pretty good.
Nice work, Cardboard
Cut-out Man.
Hopefully it will be having a
grand vision and succeeding,
but there's always a lot of risk
when we do something big.
This is the biggest
show we've ever done.
On a stage.
When they get here,
we'll run through
superhero palace.
Ethan, what are
the train options?
because that's the
only option for Jack.
- I guess.
- Way to not pick up!
- Is New Michael not answering?
- Yep!
- Okay, well,
he probably doesn't know.
Don't get personally attacked,
upset at him.
Ethan, we will work this out,
it is irritating and stressful,
just know that it will be okay.
- I know, it's just...
- It is annoying, I concur.
Hey, come on in.
What's up, Meaghan?
- Hello.
- Hey.
Look through this,
see if any of this is unclear,
and just turn it off
whenever we're ready.
And like loop it if you have to
if we're not ready.
- Okay.
- Here's the lights.
This is a more readable one.
- Yes, this is more readable.
- I can print this out
for you at some point.
- Meaghan gave this shirt to me
a little over two years ago.
- That's important.
Guys, it's 7:45.
Meaghan, what time
do you have to leave?
- I have to be on
the 9:30 train,
so I'm probably gonna
leave here at like...
- Like an hour?
- Yeah, like an
hour, maybe a little less.
- Okay, we have to run
through non-stop guys.
Okay guys, ready?
Everyone ready, start.
- Just play the song?
- Play the song at
the, yeah, exactly.
Suicide Man's alone on stage.
- Fine, Condescending Man!
I'll check, I'll check!
Shut up, Overthinker Man!
- Yup, we're freeing
Gandhi right now!
- Hey, thanks Thinker Man!
- Hello!
I'm Gary Dink!
I do observational comedy,
things that are funny
'cause they're true!
Audiences love
sitting in chairs.
This guy knows what
I'm talkin' about!
I'm Gary Dink!
I was getting bored
of doing the same.
- Well are were.
- Exactly!
- I mean we would have gone
on a huge hiatus anyways.
I wonder how much we're
all gonna be changed
you know, in nine months.
You know, Jack, I wonder if...
- Alcoholics, all three of you!
- I wonder, you know,
especially Holistic
Healing Man, but...
- One thing your dad said today
is that he's really...
- You talked to my dad?
- He drove us to the station.
- He did?
- Yeah.
- Oh, oh yeah!
I forgot that you
guys were with him.
- Yeah, he said he was
really proud of you
for all kinds of reasons.
- Yeah, I love my dad.
- I hope so, he
loves you so much.
- I know.
- He really does.
- One special thing
he doesn't take our
relationship for granted.
- Yeah, that's important.
- He definitely used to, so.
- Do you?
- I got a close circle
of five friends.
The Asperberger's Are Us,
Ben, and Meaghan.
Five friends.
And Jack's going away,
and Ben just had a baby, so,
down to three.
Now usually I keep my
Facebook account deactivated
for all of the year
except for the month
of my birthday,
which is October,
so people can write
"happy birthday"
on my Facebook wall.
But, I also reactivate it
if I have something to promote.
And considering this might
be our last ever show,
I wanted it to be a good one
that I can invite people to.
I'm definitely more
confident in it now.
It was a good choice
making these eggs.
I hope today's a day
of many good choices.
Now the,
the creeping things
of the ground
and the fowl of the air will
take care of the rest.
I just came down
here for a photo op,
and then it turned
into a disaster, so.
- Do you have a AAA membership?
- I do, I can call now.
- We don't have this
time to spare right now.
- Okay, uh.
- Nothing bad is
going to happen.
- Well, the show will...
- No, that won't be true.
We'll just be a little
late to rehearsal.
That's the worst-case scenario.
- Yeah, but how are
we gonna rehearse
if Jack's down here?
- Jack untied this, guys...
- Hey, good job, Jack.
- Seriously.
Can you get the door, Ethan?
- Is that everything?
You need Cardboard Cut-out Man.
- Thank you.
Before I go,
one more thing.
- Yeah?
- Your shorts.
- You don't need
to give them to me.
They're yours to
wear in the show.
- I meant I was setting them...
- Oh, okay.
- Down, but I think I
guess I already did that.
- Okay.
I have your hat over here.
- I thought you had more stuff.
The audience will probably know
I'm reading my lines
out of a book, but...
- But we'd
announce that you are,
'cause you're Literate Man,
that's the whole point.
- Are we bothering with
this chore wheel or not?
- Yes.
- Okay.
- Yeah, that's for the set.
Hey, what's this?
Whose mask is this?
- Libertarian
Man, but he's dead,
so it doesn't matter.
- What do you call an actor
who succeeds in California?
- Not now, Emilio
Estevez Joke Man.
- Emilio Best in the Westevez!
- Will you shut up?
I'm gonna kill you
one of these days.
- Okay, I'll give it
an Emilio Restevez.
- So this transition
should be very short.
- Yep, it should be.
- Yeah.
- I'm not sure if this is
how the dress gets put on.
- I wish you guys
had addressed this earlier.
- We need to do
- Over everyone's head.
- Are we doing
scene 18 with K-Strass?
Are you pulling that
up on the computer?
- Yes.
- Okay, so
you're bringing it up?
- Everyone ready, guys?
- And for freeing Gandhi,
Literate Man, you
get one gold star!
- Thanks, Gold Star Man!
- Uh, is there any way
I can get a teal star?
Just 'cause I don't
really like gold.
- So now you?
- No, then it's you.
- Well no, no, no.
But wait, don't you have-
Oh, you're right.
We all know that you
want something different
to make you special,
but remember,
you're not special, okay?
So you're gonna have to
take what you can get,
don't worry about it.
- Yeah, uh,
anyway, I really
should get going,
'cause I have to go pick my
dad up from his blood work.
So, and that's
over up in Oshkosh,
and that's gonna
because I'm using my
my mom's car,
which is, to be honest with you,
a hunk-a-junk.
I got warm brain going,
so I'll talk to you guys soon,
and maybe I'll shapeshift,
shapeshift later for you guys.
Okay, bye.
- Remember when we made the
last video K-Strass made,
and it's him alone
for the first time,
and it was us on stage with him,
and he was doing the
lines we wrote for him?
That was pretty cool.
- It was a very true story.
We're here at Palace Marvel
And allow us to
see superheroes
None of us can read
Except Literate Man
The crimes he sees
In a book in his hand
Superhero Palace
DC won't allow us
to say "superheroes"
Time is different here
There are no women either
No one has strong hands
Except the Missing Bear Man
That's how it goes
- Thank you.
- I have $20 for two tickets.
- Okay, you think I'd
be good for the doc
if I throw up before stage?
- Yes!
- You have similar
faces, are you guys related?
- No.
- A lot of people ask
us that, but we're not.
- Hopefully a lot
more people show up.
- We gotta hide in the back.
- Well we don't wanna
sit too far back.
- All right guys,
flicker the house lights,
and then you can
go take your place.
- I don't think he
knows I'm coming.
He doesn't know that we're here.
It's already funny.
They're a little bit, several
minutes behind schedule.
Oh, there we go!
- Hi everyone,
thanks for coming.
We're Asperger's Are Us,
we're really, really
grateful that you're here.
It's true, we're the
first comedy troupe
composed of people on
the autism spectrum.
- So if we're not funny,
blame it on Ethan's disability.
- I was born with no soul.
- We came up with this
totally original new show,
and we're gonna debut
it for you tonight.
Enjoy the show!
- It sucks 'cause you
guys forgot your lines,
but it looks like I forgot mine.
- It's okay, it worked.
That was really good.
Son, come in here!
- Yes, dad?
- It's here.
It's finally here!
Your big day,
the day we've been waiting for
your whole life!
It's finally here!
- What big day?
- It's your funeral!
- What?
- Yay!
All our friends and
family are gonna be there,
and they're gonna
say, "Yay, Ethan!
"We miss him!"
- Dad,
have I been bad?
- Of course not!
Look over there, do you see it?
- Yeah?
- It's your grave!
It says, "Ethan, 2006-2013.
"He walks with God now."
And do you see next to it?
- Uh-huh.
- It's your brothers'
and sisters' graves!
Here, it's time to
give you your gifts.
Here, just go on back
into the fireplace,
they're in the back there,
you love wood, and
and kerosene and old
newspapers, right?
- Dad, it's cold back here!
- Oh, it'll be warm soon.
- Dad, I'm scared,
why are you doing this?
- To teach you fire safety.
Get out of there, son.
Have you learned your lesson?
- Yes, I promise I'll never
play with matches again.
- If only your
brothers and sisters
had been this receptive
to my teachings.
- Oh, I hope the
president gets here soon.
This is the biggest scandal
since I don't know when.
- 1884?
- Yeah, maybe that Maria
Haplin thing.
- Oh yeah, the
Maria Haplin scandal
with Grover Cleveland.
I, this might be
bigger than that.
- Yeah.
- I think the president's
coming in now.
- Thank you all for coming.
I believe we all know why I've
called this press conference,
so let's get right
to the questions.
Yes, sir.
- Why did you decide
to marry a train?
- I wanted to make an
honest train out of her.
- Have you thought
about the possibility
of having kids?
- I just hope
that if we do have kids,
they'll be more
like their mother
who's always on time,
and not like their father,
who is delayed.
Next question.
- So,
how's your sex life?
- I assume it's just
like anyone else's.
I'll go into her and ride
her to a wonderful place.
- Oh, like uh, like uh,
South Station?
- Are you a pervert?
North Station!
- First of all,
yes, I am a pervert.
- Thank you for your honesty.
Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!
Sometimes you just gotta
get your hands dirty!
- Husband not home.
- Uh-huh.
- Do you need
- I understand.
I can appreciate how women
are trying to break into
the plumbing business.
- Noah Britton claims
he's good at basketball.
- You get one shot.
- Hoops!
- Looks like you dropped
the ball on this one.
- I wish there were a better
way to test razor blades!
- I'm so excited
that we're finally gonna
get to see Elton John!
- Elton, ladies and gentlemen!
Ladies and gentlemen,
ladies and gentlemen!
Ladies and gentlemen!
Stay away from danger!
There's danger over
there, don't go there!
- I don't think this
is really Elton John.
- I see no one doing any chores.
I blame you.
- Fine, Condescending Man.
I'll check!
I'll check.
- Great idea,
Train Schedule Man.
I like it!
- No problem!
After all, the train is
the best way to travel!
- Shut up!
The bus is the
best way to travel!
We will ride the number
one out of Newburyport,
and transfer in Lynn
to the number 47!
- Bus Schedule Man!
My arch-nemesis!
- You just relax.
- Okay, yeah, thanks
Condescending Man.
- You're welcome.
I'm glad we had
this little chat.
- Uh-huh, yeah.
- And Gandhi, for
being so brave,
you get a gold star.
- Is there any way I
can get a teal star?
Just cause I don't
really like gold.
I mean, I'll take
a gold one, but...
- You take what you can get,
and you shut up!
- Maybe I'll shapeshift
shapeshift later for you guys.
- Cleaning Woman!
Bear Man is dead!
- Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you all!
- New Michael.
- What?
- I just want to
congratulate you.
- Well thanks, Dad.
- I think you did an
excellent, excellent job.
- Thanks.
Let's switch sides.
- Switch sides?
- Yeah.
This hand's,
the hand shown's the
more dominant one.
Good job.
- Thanks.
- Such a great kid.
- I did not expect
it to be like,
they're surprising me.
If I knew they were there,
I would not have acted as well.
And it was nice,
it was nice that I didn't
know until the very end,
and you know, they all liked it.
I think my dad just enjoyed
seeing me act on stage and
seeing me be successful.
Genuinely is proud of me,
so that's nice.
That will probably make
the documentary, for sure.
Maybe it won't, I don't know.
Those are the kind of
squishy moments you look for.
- Tonight's show was good,
and it's nights like
this after a late show
when everyone else is like,
"I'm partying, I don't
know what I'm doing,
"it's Friday night,
I'm partying."
And I'm like, going to
celebrate by going home
by myself.
This is the first time
I've gone on a driving tour
in two years.
I absolutely do need
to know that what
I'm doing is working.
Not just for its own sake,
but there's definitely
some aspect of
needing love as a human,
but also, you know, insecurity
at work.
You know, when I was 12,
I was like, "What's the best
way to get constant approval
"and attention from everyone?"
Oh, I'll be a rock star.
And and I was a
natural, so that helped.
I gotta go.
I gotta go on tour.
- Books,
The Bible and the Complete
Works of William Shakespeare.
Toiletries, toothbrushes six,
toothpaste five tubes,
towels two,
warm, waterproof jacket.
- You're really
taking your sombrero?
- Yes.
- How are you packing that?
- I'm gonna wear
it on the plane.
- Hmm.
- You don't put things in
suitcases on hangers, do you?
- No.
- Typically not.
- Okay.
Not a very good packer.
It's been a wonderful journey,
but I'm definitely gonna
have a lot of moments
when I miss them, when I
miss talking to somebody
who's on my own wavelength.
I'm not gonna have any,
probably any Aspies to talk to
while I'm in England.
That's gonna be really tough.
- These guys are
probably my best friends.
So, I don't really have
anything bad to say.
- We wanted to do
something different,
and we did, and I'm glad we did.
It was more fun doing
something different.
That's what being
an artist is, to me,
is making new things.
I can imagine my Wikipedia page,
opening paragraph,
maybe it would say,
"New Michael the comedian."
But maybe some day
it'll also say,
"New Michael the entrepreneur,
"comedian, writer,
director," who knows?
Maybe like the last sentence,
"And also has,
"and also was diagnosed
with Asperger's syndrome."
That's how I imagine it.
- This past autumn,
I went crazy over pumpkin spice
and like everything
- Of course you did.
- Just because like
I missed it so much!
I lived here all my life!
I never had an autumn
without New England.
- It's been a year and a half
since we were together last
and a lot's changed.
I guess the biggest
change for me
has been Rachel.
This internship with
the Harlem Globetrotters
keeps me pretty busy.
I'm old, but I think
I can do it, you know?
Like I got the height,
I got the flexibility.
I don't have the coordination,
but that's why
it's an internship!
- This interest in trains
and transportation,
you know, started
as a perseveration,
but it's really become
more of a career path for me.
And I think that puts me
at a pretty good advantage.
- What I like about
New Michael is that
that's not what
it's supposed to be.
It's breaking the rules.
It's a serious name,
it's a very cool name,
but on the same time,
it's also a joke.
Originally when I
got to UMass Lowell
and I started taking
some of my classes,
I didn't correct my professors
and tell them to
call me New Michael,
initially 'cause
I was too nervous,
being at UMass Lowell
for the first time,
but that's gonna change now.
It started to change at
the end of the semester,
and I'm not gonna be
afraid to do it any more.
New Michael the driver!
- I prefer the lotus position,
I find it's much
better for my Qi!
- I thought Gordon was
always well attended!
Sweaty Tooth was right!
No one's here!
- Yes, yes!
- He fell there.
Can you write that in?
- Yes, I respect
your religious practices.
- The most important thing
is to take it very
seriously, you know?
It's a very serious business.
You can't have any
frivolity involved at all.
- You know, as an entertainer,
you're an entrepreneur.
You are a businessman,
and you're selling
Just like in real estate,
in comedy, location
is everything.
- Explain.
- I was just joking.
- Steven Shore,
autistic professor said,
"If you met one
person with autism,
"you've met one
person with autism."
I hope that makes sense.
We're not all the same.
I was born knowing nothin'
Everyone 'round me
was teachin' stuff
Some of which was important
Most of which didn't matter
Then one day I felt my mom
Become a stranger
and that was fun
And I got out of her damn home
To make my life my own
I met so many lovely ladies
Then one day I found one
I said I would like to marry
When that ended I settled down
I've got the best
deal in the town
A friend who
really likes me now
And maybe will forever
I'll still walk
to Korn concerts
They might be great,
I might get hurt
And come home with
lots of blisters
And sore muscle smiles
This will continue for a while
Til I see I'm
not still a child
And we'll say, "Hey
that was the best"
Until the end arrives
One day there will be a grave
With my name on it and a date
And underneath
that it will say
Help, I'm still alive