Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: Organic Intelligence (2026) Movie Script
1
[intense music]
[tomato growling]
[magical tones]
[inquisitive music]
NARRATOR: A long time ago,
millions of miles out in space,
a wandering asteroid took aim
at the Yucatan Peninsula.
[bonk]
The mass extinction
that followed
killed 80% of the plant
and animal life on Earth,
and is called the KT Event.
It meant the end
of the dinosaurs,
and the creation
of the Yucatan cenote,
and the birth
of the modern tomato.
Tiny black berries
of the tomato plant
evolved to survive.
Eventually, humans intervened.
Domesticated tomatoes
grew even larger,
but more and more dependent
on humans for survival.
Europeans arrived and didn't
have a word for them.
They took the Mayan word
"tomate,"
meaning swelling, fat,
water fruit.
[growling]
[thunder rolling]
[woman screams]
[bird caws]
[intense music]
WOMAN: It was the size of a--
Oh, my gosh.
It must be Derrick.
[screaming]
[thunder rumbling]
Oh, my God.
Haley, what happened?
TARA, turn down the music.
Sure thing.
Volume decreasing.
GIRL: Whoa, nice 'do.
So gorgeous.
Stop it.
Wait,
did that tomato just talk?
Oh, yeah. Brand new.
My Tomato does everything
short of washing your cat.
[cat meows]
[thunder rumbling]
[power dies]
Guys,
we're in sunny San Diego.
How bad can a storm be, right?
[eerie tones]
Something's at the door.
[banging on door]
[door creaks open]
[cartoonish squeak]
[girls screaming]
Go, go, go, go, go.
Go, go.
Oh, my God.
Come back.
Come back.
[TOMATOES MUTTERING
IN MALICIOUS SQUEAKS]
[girls still screaming]
[beater whirring]
[pans clanging]
Where is that damn app?
AUTOMATED VOICE: Lock, unlock!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
A tomato ate my sister!
[screaming]
Thank God
they made it out safe.
But we have other problems.
Those guys?
I'm telling you, Admiral,
those guys just deliver pizza.
Sifuentes, do they look like
pizza delivery guys to you?
Launch the drone.
[machine beeping]
[drone whirring]
By the way, I picked up
a My Tomato.
Pardon the mess.
Damn it.
No plugins, no batteries,
completely organic.
It says it learns
the house as it grows.
Like artificial intelligence.
Only freakier.
Imagine your phone, but with
living, breathing brain cells.
Even worse,
it was grown by VegIntel.
But who are these guys?
Sifuentes,
that's need to know.
[tomatoes muttering]
Tomatoes?
It's my worst nightmare.
[EXCITING JAZZY
MUSIC PLAYING]
PA ANNOUNCER:
The secret FBI meeting
in the Interagency Knowledge
and Education Alcove
will begin shortly.
ANSWER BALL:
I believe you would be wise
to focus on the infamous
Dr. Nicholas Mortimer Gangreen.
You all know
Marina Sifuentes.
How do you do?
How do you do?
Watch your-- watch your foot.
Excuse me and allow me
to introduce myself formally.
I am known as AI Ansible,
the world's most advanced
artificial intelligence.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Doctor Amazing Balls--
how do we stop these tomatoes?
If I may, Admiral Grant,
almost 50 years ago,
there was a similar
tomato uprising.
Ultimately,
it was discovered that
the pop song "Puberty Love"
caused the tomatoes
to recoil and shrink.
Then, crowds of people
stomped the shit out of them.
Great.
Let's just do that.
SIMON GRANT: Yeah.
Unfortunately, we cannot.
Indeed.
The song's puerility
has lost its effectiveness.
What you're about to see
is top secret footage
of a tomato attack from 1978.
[explosion]
Following this incident,
the government
confiscated the
documentary footage
that caught this attack
on film.
A government sponsored PR
campaign promoted the movie
as a comedy--
a comedy so bad
that no one would take it,
or the idea of killer tomatoes,
seriously.
We know all this.
We're the ones who did it.
ANSWER BALL: This plan
appeared to have worked.
Hardly anyone saw the movie.
The public has no recollection
of the traumatic events
of 1978, and the uprising
was stomped out.
See what I did there?
It was stomped out, just
as the tomatoes were stomped--
Where are you going?
What's happening?
What is that, a pantsuit?
Why are you crawling
on the table?
Gangreen is behind this.
He wants terror in every
boardroom and government
office-- probably the DMV too.
You're not listening to me.
Hi, I'm TARA.
Welcome to VegIntel.
I'm Doctor Kate Patelle,
Adolescent Prodigy
and Creator of My Tomato.
Our safe, organic,
bioneural network
uses nature to perform
everyday tasks
while keeping
your communications out
of the hands of AI bots,
scammers, and predators.
Make sure you go home
to the safety of a My Tomato.
Mr. Press Secretary,
might I ask,
where is our executive order?
Well, work faster.
There's a fortune to be made
replacing those government
answer balls with My Tomatoes.
Dimitri,
call the coast and tell them
I want the sales reports
on my desk at 8:17 tonight.
And I don't mean 8:16 or 8:18.
8:17.
Which coast?
All of them.
ASSISTANT: Oh, excuse me.
Just let me get you
your coffee here.
A paper straw?
I want my straw.
There you are.
Watson, get me another.
Oh, my name's not--
One team, one name.
You are all Watson.
Madam.
[ominous tones]
ANSWER BALL: Top secret footage
of a tomato attack from 1978.
SIMON GRANT: We know all this.
We're the ones who did it.
[screaming]
MAN: Sacr bleu!
What are you guys up to?
WOMAN: [speaking spanish]
Abuela, our team entered that
house minutes after these
guys left.
And everything was
as clean as a whistle.
You see that body?
10 minutes later, that woman
walked out of the house,
good as new.
[speaking spanish]
You've known the answer
since you were a little girl.
Your dreams are
your murderboard, Mija.
[speaking spanish]
Admiral Grant isn't
telling me everything.
[ominous tones]
[tomato growling]
[young sifuentes screams]
[speaking spanish]
[speaking spanish]
[speaking spanish]
Many centuries ago, the great
goddess of the moon,
with a single furious
blow, ended the dinosaurs
and created los cenotes
that bring us fresh water,
the fertility of the Earth
and serve as our gateway
to the afterlife.
[tomatoes muttering]
[water gurgling]
[operatic music]
Gel!
Gel! Look right away.
It got my arm.
[screams]
Great Whites
prefer cooler waters
and rarely come
so close to shore.
For the bazillionth time,
quit calling me Gel.
Wow.
You're really no fun at all,
are you, Angela?
Everything looks fine
down there.
You got healthy
and happy mama babies.
So when are we going
to harvest them?
[clearing throat]
[helicopter whirring overhead]
Carbon absorption
needs to get better
and better, which is great.
But I'm still hearing
that low octave grumble.
I can feel the bass from
that concert down there.
Maybe they can too.
Right.
Tomatoes that grumble to music.
There's a reason why you're the
diver and I'm the scientist.
Yeah, cause you can't swim.
[boat whirring]
Look, whatever you're hearing,
it's probably
just in your instruments--
static and stuff.
Or you got that,
what do you call it,
that ear ringing thing--
I got a dope audiologist
I can hook you up with.
Sometimes it's just earwax.
No big deal.
I love being out here.
What happened to you?
Move over.
I'm driving.
CHAD RAINS:
Look, if you just let me
teach you how to swim, you
go down there and check on it.
Why'd VegIntel put you
on aquaculture, anyway?
Check the audio
and tell me I'm not crazy.
[tomatoes muttering]
Man.
[TOMATOES MUTTERING
IN MALICIOUS SQUEAKS]
Ah!
[keyboard clacking]
[speaking spanish]
Abuela, I'm going
to meet the Admiral.
I can't do this anymore.
[speaking spanish]
I keep being haunted
by my nightmares.
[speaking spanish]
PA ANNOUNCER: Would
the captain of the destroyer
please move your ship?
You're parked
in the submarine zone.
Sifuentes.
Admiral, I'm headed
to rendezvous Alpha 7.
Please meet me there
in 10 minutes.
Sifuentes,
we've been through this.
We need to talk--
30 minutes.
[phone ringing]
Sir?
Admiral Grant,
I'm on a deadline.
Sir, there's been new
incidents of killer tomatoes.
Killer torndaoes?
Sir, I think that's a movie.
I said tomatoes--
killer tomatoes.
Whatever it is.
I'll tell you what,
let's just add it to the agenda
for the Congressional
UFO hearings.
Good?
[reporters shouting]
I know you've got questions.
I don't have these answers.
Luckily, we do have
the Secretary of Energy here.
Madam Secretary,
will you please come up here
and take their questions?
Why haven't we junked these
things for the My Tomato yet?
We're close
on organic intelligence,
but still not quite ready.
Bullshit.
The campaign is launched.
We've already sold
millions of home versions.
TARA, run the footage
from the beach house.
As you wish, Miss Patel.
Dimitri, look at this.
[tomatoes muttering]
Now, run that again
in slow motion.
[slow muttering]
Look at that.
DIMITRI: Look at what?
That's not a random action.
Our My Tomatoes can
only communicate
through Gangreen's
TARA network.
But those tomatoes
are communicating directly,
peer to peer.
If we could get our tomatoes
to work together without TARA,
we'd cut Gangreen
out altogether.
He'd be as obsolete
as Answer Ball over there.
Do you know
what elephants, whales,
and tomatoes
all have in common?
Infrasonic communication.
Turn that thing off.
More news-- our monitors have
detected escaping inventory.
Tomatoes appear to have reached
the surface on their own.
Very good, Dimitri.
[phone ringing]
Kate, there she is.
Did you see the video I sent?
It's astounding.
Who's your source?
Admiral Grant.
I don't think much of it,
but I thought you might.
No, you're right.
Nothing unusual.
So might we be looking at
a big day soon for My Tomato?
You have no idea.
But I need that
executive order.
Yeah, I'm working on it.
Listen, I got to go.
Very busy,
got a lot of paperwork here--
really piling up.
I want to meet our young
marine biologist immediately.
Already sent for.
Sir, I'm sorry,
but you know as well
as anybody that
these killer tomatoes
have been around forever.
PRESS SECRETARY:
At ease, Admiral.
Now you sound like
a conspiracy nut.
I'll just leave this one
to the spin room.
Gotta run.
Admiral,
thanks for meeting me.
Sifuentes, what is
so damn important?
Why didn't you tell me
about the movie cover-ups?
Quiet, quiet.
There's ears everywhere.
Anyway, that was all
on a need-to-know basis.
Really?
You know my family.
If anybody needs to know,
it's me.
The paratrooper,
the scuba guy,
the old lady
in the wheelchair--
they're all the same people
from those old movies,
aren't they?
What happened to trust?
It's not a matter of trust,
Sifuentes.
Sometimes lies live so long
that simply telling the truth
is treason.
You owe it to my parents.
I didn't get this job
by accident.
Or did you just hire me
out of guilt?
You were hired
because you were the most
qualified person for the job.
But you are asking me
to reveal secrets
that run so deep
that the presidents
don't even know about them.
Why all the secrecy?
Can you imagine
the panic in the world
if people knew their own
vegetables could kill them?
At first, we thought we could
eat our way out of this.
But, no.
[gun shots in background]
Innocent people are
playing games with tomatoes.
We don't know the kind of
danger they could be spreading.
[shouting]
[tomatoes sloshing]
OK, OK, OK.
The paratrooper,
Wilbur Finletter,
he was the original commander
of the FBI Strike Force.
But, after some years,
the government cut them loose.
And then your parents,
they hooked him up
with some
centuries-old secret tomato
watch organization.
[speaking spanish]
I know more about him
than you might think.
But what about Gangreen?
Gangreen?
Gangreen is a nut job.
Gangreen is not a problem.
The problem is Kate Patelle
and her My Tomato crap.
Well, maybe it's time we
bring in your Wilbur Finletter,
convince him that
he needs our help.
Sam Smith,
he's your key for that.
Oh, yes.
You'll find him at the Barrel
Roll Bar any day of the week.
But do not tell him I sent you.
Say that you're there
on behalf of the White House.
[loud obnoxious noises]
Yo, what is up, you guys?
The internet is freaking out
about these so-called tomato
attacks, but I want to hear
it straight from the people.
So I'm coming to you
live from the streets.
That's embarrassing.
What the--
STREAMER: Woo!
Oh, oh, oh.
Hey, how about a taste of
your own medicine, kid?
Whoa, whoa.
Easy does it, bro.
Scram.
I can't believe we got
invited to meet Kate Patelle.
Boss babe in person.
Don't call her that.
It's disrespectful.
Tuck in your shirt.
CHAD RAINS: That tomato
was actually kind of good.
[corporate music]
VOICEOVER: Ever wondered
how a My Tomato works?
It all starts with
the TARA network.
TARA is a miracle of modern
organic intelligence.
Now, she serves as
the central communication node
in our network
of sentient tomatoes.
With synthetic biogenetics,
when the world profits,
we profit.
I think I have an ethical
obligation to tell her
about the grumbling.
We are meeting the
Kate Patelle in person.
I'm not going to start off
by lying to her.
You're crazy, Gel.
I mean, you've proven you can
grow a vegetable with no soil
and no fresh water.
To me, that sounds like
the very definition
of VegIntel Organics.
Those grumbling sounds
must mean something.
Stop calling me Gel.
The data just hit my phone.
Your inventory count
was short again.
Don't worry about that.
They're probably just
on the bottom of the bay.
Or they swam away on their own.
Call of the wild.
ANGELA: Yeah, swam away.
[blues music]
No, for real, though, these
tomato attacks are mental.
Check this out-- authorities
say there's no evidence
this ever happened.
It's just another hoax.
But, in seriousness,
if you or anyone you know
has been affected
by these tomato attacks,
don't forget to smash that
Like and Subscribe button.
All right.
Mental.
[whistles]
Another one.
And one for my friend here.
[door opens]
Hello.
I'm going to get me
some of this.
Hey, gorgeous.
Are you sunburnt?
Are you always this hot?
[man grunting]
My nose.
You knocked off my nose.
The White House said
I could find you here.
You're being called back
to active duty.
I'm through.
Kaput.
You can take
your experimental jet--
And you must be?
Sir Elton John.
And who told you to look
for me here, love?
Drop the routine,
and I'll tell you.
MAN: That's a peanut.
Sam Smith,
master of disguise.
[machine sounds]
And attorney at law.
Uh-huh.
Admiral Grant said
I could find you.
I'm a real lawyer.
I'm sure you're a credit
to the profession.
Let's go.
Oh, there it is.
My nose.
Oh, that's an olive.
[blow lands]
Call me.
SIFUENTES: Really?
Everybody deserves
representation.
I feel a sea breeze today.
Look, I've been told
that you can connect me
with the original
FBI Strike Force.
That strike force was
disbanded decades ago.
Well, I need them
to un-disband.
Boss isn't going
to want to work with you.
Answers to a higher power now.
Well, then it's a good thing
the Admiral wants him.
Oh, Admiral Grant.
I would suggest you leave
that part out of your pitch.
Whatever happened between
him and the Admiral, anyway?
The whole movie scam
was his idea.
Brass decided to shut
down the whole task force
along with Area 57--
ruined our careers.
Frank got a promotion.
The rest of us had
to make other connections.
What's Area 57?
Wait, wait, wait.
You just said "we" had
to have other connections.
I thought you were
practicing law now.
Law is just a side gig.
Truth is, you never really
leave, to be honest.
Too many secrets.
Finletters Pizza.
Oh, you even have a menu.
Oh, gee.
Secret club-- do you guys
have a secret handshake, too?
Needs to know work both ways.
[tomatoes muttering]
Hi. Welcome to VegIntel.
So sorry, Miss Patelle's
in back-to-back meetings.
Can I get you any coffee
while you wait?
Can't.
IBS.
That's irritable
bowel syndrome.
Ew.
ANSWERING MACHINE: Hi.
You've reached VegIntel.
All of us are
working from home,
and there is no one here
to take your call.
Wow.
Jasmine,
check out that giant tomato.
It doesn't look organic,
Josh.
I think he's
after our compost.
Oh, no.
He's got little Bobby.
Poor Bobby.
That's a drag.
I just finished paying
for his karate lessons.
Yeah, well, they didn't help.
[tomato burps]
[THE SKYLINERS,
"SINCE I DON'T HAVE YOU"]
I don't have plans
and schemes
And I don't have
I have one large pepperoni.
[phone ringing]
Finletters Pizza,
what can I get you?
What?
Pineapple?
On a pizza?
What are you, nuts?
What can I get you?
Yo, pops, you take Venmo?
No, man. Cash only.
Cash App?
Zelle?
Look, kid, no newfangled
high tech gobbledygook
substitutions for good old
American greenbacks, OK?
So you either pony up
something with dead presidents
on it, or no pizza.
Guy wants a dead president?
What's the world
coming to, man?
Pardon me, but do you happen
to have any singing zebras?
No, but we do have peanut
butter and gummy bear pizza.
Your uncle needs you.
Colburn, Irene, in the back.
[intense music]
I haven't dipped into this
inventory in years.
[door slides open]
Kind of musty in here.
We got to get this
place cleaned out.
So, what's going on?
Let me guess,
our old friends are worried.
Looks like it.
Yeah, well, not thrilled
about all the public attention,
but we're on it.
It's under control.
Not as far
as Washington's concerned.
They got video of you
the other night.
Things got a little messy.
They asked me
to bring the team in.
How about you
tell them to just go
make another fake movie?
Or, better yet, they could just
re-release one of the ones
they already shot
that nobody saw.
Come on, come on.
Wilbur-- Wilbur, this
might be a bit of kismet.
Someone did this before us,
and someone's
got to do it after us.
The hell are you
talking about, Irene?
We can't do this forever.
We could use some new blood.
Just take a meeting.
You don't hear anything
you like, you go home.
I smell my favorite Admiral.
SAM SMITH:
Just take one meeting.
All right.
Shut her down, people.
We got a gig.
Yes.
There we go.
Come on.
Leave those
aprons here, though.
You better hope
a food critic doesn't show up.
I've been waiting 50 years
to get this place written up.
[power dies]
Hello?
Oh, well.
[marching band music]
Hi.
I am so excited to meet you.
I've read all of your cover
stories so many times--
Wired, Forbes,
even that Page Six hit piece
couldn't steal your shine.
Oh, I'm aware
of my fabulosity.
Dimitri, how fabulous am I?
Mondo fab.
Now, dispense
with the flattery
and show me your findings.
So growth rates are exceeding
expectation, which is strange
given that these tomatoes
were cloned from
a slow growing Yucatan variety.
Our working theory is that
the underwater sound waves
may be influencing
their behavior.
Behavior?
They make sounds, grumbles.
If you look at this clip
right here,
you can even see that
the tomatoes vibrate in sync.
The science,
it's pretty complicated.
So?
She's a genius.
She is a--
you are a genius.
OK, so this--
[vacuum whirring]
[chatter continues]
Whatever is happening,
saltwater farming
could save billions
of gallons of fresh water.
I've seen quite enough.
All right.
Do I need to remind you of
your confidentiality agreement?
No?
Bye bye.
Thank you for your time.
So nice to meet you.
Well, you freaked
them out, Gel.
Most people want
to hear the truth.
That has not
been my experience.
What's the deal
with these guys?
I don't think they know
what they got.
They're just focused
on saving the planet.
Well, let's make sure
they don't do that
before we can make money
off of it.
All right, well,
I'll find some place
to put those two where we
can keep an eye on them.
Better,
I'll volunteer their services
to our government partners.
Meantime, see what
you can do to keep
Sifuentes out of our hair.
[phone ringing]
Hello, Kate the Great.
Caught me in the middle of
a workout, but I'll allow it.
How's my favorite
captain of industry?
Tell me all about the world
of bio-orgy genetics.
My Tomato is selling
like hotcakes.
I'm even cranking up
My Tomato 2.0
to clear inventory
and cover your ass.
What's behind schedule
is your government contract.
Patience is its own reward,
sweetheart.
Why don't you leave
the timing to me?
I'm sending you
some reinforcement,
two of my best scientists.
I need you to cut through
the red tape,
get them cleared, and placed
with your government meatheads.
That's actually clever.
You might make it
in the big leagues after all.
Just keep me in the loop.
You'll be my first call,
butter cake.
[intense tones]
Dimitri,
I need everyone on this.
Grab those underwater tomatoes
and slice them and dice them
until you squeeze every last
strand of DNA for analysis.
DIMITRI: Slice and dice.
[tomatoes muttering]
[man screaming]
All right, I'm going
to take this one alone.
You go perform a routine recon.
Pick me up here at 2100 hours.
PA ANNOUNCER:
The Interagency Knowledge and
Education Alcove
will begin the top secret
FBI meeting momentarily.
You must be the fabled
Wilbur Fuddrucker.
It's Finletter.
And you must be
the unknown agent--
Sifuentes.
Interesting uniform
you've got there.
This uniform has seen me
through many tough times,
but you already knew that.
I'm not sure
what I know anymore.
Tell me about that patch.
This patch, I got it
for valor under combat--
the tomato uprising of '78.
Yeah, my grandmother
showed me one.
Agh, my nuts.
My parents were killed
in the war.
Your father was major Miguel
Alberto Juarez De Los Santos
Garcia Hernandez Sifuentes
De La Casa De Fuerte.
I heard all about the war
from my grandmother.
[phone buzzing]
Your mother and father were
great and honorable soldiers,
but they were also--
[speaking spanish]
In fact, my mother recruited
you on her deathbed.
And I've seen the movies.
That documentary was intended
to tell the public the truth.
Mmhmm.
The guardians have monitored
the tomatoes for centuries.
The sequels, the cartoons,
pitiful contrivances.
Screw the movies.
I assume my mother
chose you for a reason.
In honor of your mother
and father,
I'm willing to give
this partnership a shot.
[speaking spanish]
Look,
part of my job is establishing
a chain of command.
"Partner" isn't
in our vernacular.
That's fine.
On paper, you can have
all the commands you like.
But in the field,
my crew follows my orders.
Fair enough.
However, if you
step out of line,
I'll see to it that you and
your crew are retired for good.
Wait, what do you mean?
Like executed
or literally retired?
Literally retired.
We're already retired.
Then I mean executed.
We can live with that.
But first, I need you
to read aloud this request
for services form.
I'm not reading that.
All right, well, then,
I'll just give you your copy.
It's recommended you keep
it in your paperwork.
- We don't have to have copies.
- No, it's OK.
I'll sign it and date it.
And then that way I'll know--
No, because it's all--
I gotta go.
And I just--
do you have a pen?
[gasps] Mysterioso.
It doesn't make
any sense, Gel.
I mean, Patelle practically
throws us out of her office,
and now we're on some
special assignment
to the FBI,
whatever that means.
I'm pretty sure this
is the right address.
CHAD RAINS:
Something smells off.
ANGELA: Yeah,
you stepped in dog poop.
You must be Chip and Dale.
Oh, it's Chad and Angela.
You're agent Sifuentes?
The brains and muscle, huh?
Just so you know, it wasn't
my idea to bring you in.
And I have no idea
how you got clearance.
He wasn't my idea, either.
He's Kate Patelle's muscle,
not mine.
How do you know
I wasn't the brains?
'Cause you're not.
I could be the brains.
Looks like nobody's here.
Weird.
GANGREEN:
Welcome to my laboratory.
Gangreen,
you're working here?
GANGREEN:
I came with the castle.
How's Romania?
GANGREEN: I'm still there.
The miracle of technology,
my young lad.
I was alerted when
you entered my lab.
Feel free to look around.
CHAD RAINS: Cool.
ANGELA:
So you're the Doctor Gangreen?
You do experiments
on vegetables?
GANGREEN: Well, a little work
on other vegetables,
like those carrots.
[carrot growling]
[carrots muttering]
But this is how
tomatoes settle.
So, doc, have you tried
a bacterial synthetic genome
or saltwater infusion?
I see the whipped cream,
but where's the hot chocolate?
GANGREEN: Funny you
should mention water.
Take a look at that
tomato on the table.
If I didn't know better,
I'd think that tomato
was dehydrating the plant.
[tomato growling]
Oh, my gosh.
Uh, guys!
[nervous stammering]
[tomato growling]
Just another red mess
looking to sap
our precious bodily fluids.
[tomatoes muttering]
Doctor Gangreen,
we're being attacked.
GANGREEN: Come again?
We're being attacked.
GANGREEN: Watch whose cat?
Attacked!
GANGREEN: Oh.
[upbeat music]
I'm sure you're in no danger.
They're just friendly hugs.
Angela, I think you
could be of great help
in analyzing the data.
Look in my desk drawer.
There is a temporary
access card to the lab.
But, just to be clear,
your work is exclusively
on this isolated computer.
No internet, no remote access?
GANGREEN: That's right.
This information could
never leave the castle.
MAN: Oh, professor.
The lunch buffet is starting.
GANGREEN: Mmm.
Monte Cristo sandwiches.
Ta ta, science people.
That was weird.
[breaking news music]
Last night, tomato attacks
were reported in New Orleans--
[people screaming]
--Tokyo,
Milan.
Authorities attribute the
incidents to unusual weather
patterns or UFOs.
[alarm sounding]
[phone ringing]
Finletter.
MAN:
Incident at Fallbrook Road.
Got it. Fallbrook Road.
We got activity, let's go.
You take the van.
I'll meet you there.
But Sifuentes is on her way.
She's bringing two new
team members to meet.
She and the government
are going to have to wait.
This is a Guardians 911.
[woman screaming]
This poor woman was
dehydrated to death.
Looks to me like tomatoes.
Only one way to find out
for sure, sheriff.
Oh, gross.
That's blood.
That's tomato juice.
Well, good thing
we didn't step in it.
[van humming]
Not moving fast enough.
Barely got to that poor
girl at the beach house
on time and too late to do
rehydration or cleanup here.
Local cops beat us.
It's not good.
Where's Wilbur?
Oh!
Sorry I'm late.
I forgot my phone.
[phone booth crashes]
It's like the boomers
forgot to lock the front door.
Maybe there's
somebody in the back.
Smells like they also forgot
to turn off the microwave.
That's just how boomers smell.
So, Marina, exactly what
government agency
do you belong to?
Oh, do you know Nunya?
Nunya business.
That's not very nice.
No way.
Tomato voodoo doll?
Oh.
Did you know they used
to grow babies in space?
Shut up.
Tit Tat and rainbow Skitters.
That's my favorite.
Wait, how's this thing work?
Somewhere to insert,
swipe, tap, scan?
What the?
[clacking keys]
[door slides open]
ANGELA:
SIFUENTES: Whoa.
CHAD RAINS: Does this mean
I can't get rainbow Skitters?
ANGELA:
Wait, are we trespassing?
SIFUENTES:
We're for sure trespassing.
CHAD RAINS: A tomato speakeasy?
Come on.
What?
So let me get this straight--
the disappearance of Atlantis,
the eruption of Pompeii,
and the Hindenburg
crash were all--
SIFUENTES: Tomatoes.
All tomatoes.
Attack of the killer
tomatoes.
Attack--
Oh, my God, Chad.
What?
Come on.
It's a classic.
- We're working.
- Well, it's a classic.
I have it on my Should've
Won An Oscars movie playlist.
What's that?
What's that?
It's a crazy thing.
[light humming]
They're back.
Turn that off.
Everyone, out.
Out.
[rapid footsteps]
WILBUR FINLETTER:
Well, who are these two?
Don't blame me.
Orders from above.
Seriously, Irene,
tell me,
just why do we need
more pencil pushers?
I say we give them
a chance, chief.
It's nice to have another
woman on the team.
Any of you knit?
No.
I do-- a little.
What? There's a lot of hurry up
and wait in the SEALs.
SEALs?
CHAD RAINS: Yes, sir.
All right, Sam,
look, I'll admit,
these kids have
compelling backstories,
but we don't need them.
All right, you'll be hearing
from me, big guy.
All right.
How's the weather down there?
Just fine.
Good day, Mama Smurf.
Those old people
are wildly offensive.
Getting kind of hungry.
Maybe we should
go get some food.
What?
We just left the pizza shop.
[gunfire]
Should we go back?
What the-- shots fired--
Go, go.
[gunfire continues]
[glass shatters]
It's the Wild West out here.
You can let go now.
[romantic music builds]
Yeah, OK.
That was no random
street shooting.
I think somebody
tried to kill you.
I just got a message
from Kate Patelle.
She wants me and Chad
in her office now.
Right.
I can watch my own six.
You two get out of here.
Stay low.
Low, low, low, low.
[breaking news music]
Even the mere mention
of the word
is sufficient to induce panic.
Tomato.
[commotion and rustling]
[tomatoes splatting]
[relaxing music]
[tomatoes muttering]
[girl screams]
Hi, I'm Kate Patelle, CEO and
Founder of VegIntel Organics.
Our new My Tomato can provide
24-hour tomato detection
and security services.
So effective you won't
even know it's there.
And kids will love the new
fuzzy tomato plush.
DIMITRI: Have a seat.
You sent for us?
Do you know how I got
to be in this office?
Elevator.
Funny guy, Watson.
I got here by being
the toughest SOB in the room.
I never took no for an answer.
Isn't that right, Dimitri?
Have I ever taken no
for an answer?
Yeah-- no.
No.
No.
It's no.
Here's the thing--
certain people
in the government
aren't happy about
the progress of our research.
Anyone famous?
Let's just say they are a lot
higher up in the government
than who you're working with.
Man, that blows.
Doctor Gangreen says
he's making progress.
According to my calculations,
he just says that to protect
his cushy government contract.
As usual, your feeble
AI brain cannot compute.
Doctor Gangreen is gathering
necessary information,
you clinking,
clanking, clattering
collection of caliginous junk.
Doctor Gangreen
is world renowned.
In fact, he has his own
action figure.
[splat]
Have you shared any
of your research with them?
No, but Doctor Gangreen
is working on the DNA
of a particular strain
of tomatoes
that we've been
experimenting with.
And he plans to call on me
to help with the analysis.
I'm not sure
we have time for that.
I need every scrap of data
the government has collected.
No time to waste.
Have you just
asked them for it?
Too much red tape.
That's why you're
on my team, Watson.
Therefore-- therefore--
You want us to steal it.
Steal it?
Of course not.
We're all working together.
I just need you
to copy the data
so my team,
including Angela,
can look at it
and see how we can help.
I don't know, man.
I'm not big on betraying
my own teammates.
First, you're on my team.
Second, I didn't say anything
about betraying anyone.
We're all just trying
to save the world.
Be nice to do that on time.
I'm a scientist,
not a burglar.
Of course I can find
someone else to do this.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, we can actually do it.
We can handle it.
Fantastic.
I knew I could count on you.
Just give us
a couple of days.
24 hours.
No, 23 hours.
And I want everything
on those computers
and every scrap
of paper, binder,
and notepad you
set your eyes on.
Goodbye.
Meeting over.
Thanks for coming.
Actually going to break
into Gangreen's computer?
Of course not.
I was just playing along
until we could buy time
to figure out what to do.
Look, I know Kate
is super smart,
but being smart is overrated.
We need to be careful.
Yeah, but I really don't
want to let Kate down, though.
I mean, I do have the access
card to Gangreen's lab.
OK, Gel,
and here's what you do--
you go in at night,
you act like you're
supposed to be there.
You wear something dark.
You bring a mask.
And if they catch you, you put
the mask on, you run like hell.
A mask?
CHAD RAINS: Yep.
Stop calling me "Gel."
[man whistling]
She did have a point
about the urgency, though--
saving the planet and all.
Do you compost?
You want them followed?
No, no.
We have bigger tofu to fry.
Have our people replicated
Angela's tomato behavior yet?
Yeah.
About that-- Angela's
hydroponic tomato farm
disappeared before
we could get to it.
The equipment, the tomatoes,
the data, all gone.
Crap on a low fat,
gluten free cracker.
It's Gangreen.
He stole Angela's experiment
right out of the bay.
He cares more about those damn
tomatoes than our success.
We need that data.
Like that shirt, Colburn.
Really makes your eyes pop.
All right, let's get
down to brass tacks here.
We got significant tomato
activity in Sector 3
all along here.
They seem to be assembling
some sort of encampment.
Encampment?
You mean like
marshmallows,
horseback rides,
and tomato sack races?
That would be nice.
But I was thinking more
like the Southern Coast
of England June 5, 1944.
[dings]
Where's Sifuentes?
Ah.
Getting shot at was
the highlight of my day.
Oh, should we stop,
and you can
just tell us about your day?
Let's keep going.
Don't pay no mind.
All right, listen, it's time
for individual sorties here.
So, Colburn, Sam, prepare
to deploy in the next 24 hours.
Colburn, I need you to assess
all the public transportation
lines in this area.
Sam, dust off your old
tomato disguise.
I want a nighttime
infiltration of that camp.
I need you to look, act,
and smell like a tomato.
Yes, sir.
No questions.
I said "no questions."
All right, thank you
for your patience.
Good afternoon.
It's been a busy day
at the White House.
All right, number one,
we are confirming sightings
of so-called killer tomatoes.
But, as you can see,
they're target balloons.
Both US and British
navies have intercepted
these tomatoes before they got
near or in American airspace.
[laughter]
And, to be certain, we have
shot down every red balloon
in US airspace.
[machine gun fire]
[fighter jet whirring]
OK, issue number two--
we are confirming
we have identified
vulnerabilities
to electromagnetic pulses
in our answer balls.
The president is signing
an executive order to replace
all AI devices with My Tomato.
All right.
Busy, busy.
I'd love to take questions,
but duty calls.
[mystery music]
Look, we got a computer.
Bought it on UBid,
delivered in 15 minutes.
Cool.
Oh, and I bought
something for you as well.
These two toy cats, they were
delivered with the computer.
Aren't they cute?
One for you and one for me.
You got to prepare
yourself properly.
Have you ever taken
a gazpacho plunge?
I can't say I have.
Is this a--
Oh, I didn't know
the head came off.
So tonight, when you go home,
I want you to strip naked--
OK.
--dunk your genitals
in a jar of salsa.
Well, don't lose it.
You might be able
to make use of it.
Thanks, Irene.
Mild or spicy?
You don't have
to worry about it.
I'm just looking out for him.
We all have to do
our part, don't we, dear?
Yeah, it hurts.
Thanks.
I'll keep it safe.
I think these guys
have had a few too
many tomato sauce bottles,
if you know what I mean.
I have to go home
and, uh,
wash my cat.
I'll see you two
in the morning.
We all have to do our part.
Your cat?
[door dings]
She has a cat?
[scraping sounds]
[dogs barking viciously]
[fabric ripping]
Good Girl Scout--
always prepared.
Badass Girl Scout.
Yum.
Yum.
[tomato muttering]
[angela gasping]
[repeated banging noises]
Oh, my God.
Whipped cream rehydrates?
[computer making noises]
Mask.
GANGREEN:
Home sweet laboratory.
That is a long balloon ride
from Romania.
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on,
come on, come on.
Yes.
GANGREEN: My carrots!
Who's there?
Ah!
No!
We need to meet up with Sam.
He owes me a briefing.
Did Angela get caught up
with her cat grooming?
I'm actually a little worried
about that.
[arrow splats]
Damn.
I thought we got
rid of that guy.
[head splats]
Stay there.
Don't move.
[intense music]
Hey.
[burps]
Dick.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
That's a cool bow.
Oh, thanks.
Expensive?
No.
Got it on sale.
That ski mask
is probably mighty hot
in conditions like this.
Tell me about it.
It's like a sauna
under this thing.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Run.
Run.
No, you-- oh, OK.
Run.
[funny, intense music]
What's up, dude?
CHAD RAINS: You again?
Hey, that hat's, like,
my whole identity, bro.
[chad shouting]
[tomato muttering menacingly]
Hey, hey, hey.
Whoa.
Um, um.
Oh.
Tomato juice.
Tomato juice.
Tomato juice.
It was worth a try.
[splat]
[hard rock music]
Night, night, hooray.
My apologies.
I thought it was a tomato.
You get it.
[shouting maniacally]
[STEADY AUTOMATED
BREATHING]
[yoda voice]
Your father, I am not.
[kid screams]
Heirloom, this is Roma.
Red Browndy has landed.
[door dings]
[tomatoes muttering]
Hey, you all right?
Yeah.
You know, you're
pretty good on terra firma
for a swim instructor.
I guess I just flashed back
to my days in the service.
Felt good.
Felt that way
every day as a SEAL.
Why did you get out?
No choice.
I was on a mission
that went fubar.
Spent a whole year in the
hospital just watching movies.
You really think this
is the real deal?
'Cause I've seen those
killer tomato movies,
and they're pretty ridiculous--
especially that
fried green one.
I mean, what was that about?
It was a cover-up designed
to keep people quiet.
[phone buzzing]
Hold on.
Yeah, talk to me.
ADMIRAL GRANT: Sifuentes,
[non-english speech]
[non-english speech]
Meet me at the pier.
I'll be right there.
They just captured
a giant tomato.
I need to see this.
Let's go.
No, you stay right here.
What if you need me?
SIFUENTES: I won't.
[explosion]
I love the smell
of ketchup in the morning.
Smells like victory.
Had a bit of a skirmish here
last night, Sifuentes.
Suffered many casualties,
but, fortunately,
we captured
one of the bastards.
[tomato muttering]
This, God help us,
is a wild cherry tomato.
I've never seen one that big.
Keep your mouth shut, stump.
It gets even worse--
Gangreen called, he said
someone broke into his office
last night.
They may have gotten
into his computer.
I don't know why
you trust that guy.
I don't.
But he wouldn't be
the first double agent
to prove useful to us.
Any idea who broke in?
I wish I could tell you, but HR
regulations prohibit them
from telling me the age, race,
gender, religious affiliation,
or disability of the culprit.
However, video surveillance
has proven that whoever it was
was wearing a Popeye mask.
I know exactly who that is.
That's right, spinach breath.
[game sounds]
[door dings]
Where the hell have you been?
I've been worried sick
about you.
I've got the data.
I've got it all.
Wait, you stole
from Gangreen's lab?
Yeah. The file took forever.
A tomato got my arm.
But I saved it
with whipped cream.
And then a carrot jumped
onto the keyboard.
It was 6 feet tall.
I almost choked to death.
And then Gangreen was closing
in, and a tomato attack.
And then Gangreen
ran right past me,
and then I put
on my mask, and I escaped,
and the alarms went off.
And I fought off the guards.
And then I used a phone cable
to zip line across the moat.
It snapped.
I fell into the moat with the
alligators, punching alligators
in the face, and then
punched one in the nuts,
and then uppercutted one,
then I chokeslammed one.
And we almost became friends.
And then we became
enemies again.
And--
- What?
I did it all, right
down to the mask.
Wait, that was you
that stole the Popeye--
I was just being a jerk.
But you thought I was being--
that is awesome, Gel.
You rock.
And the whipped
cream, too, huh?
[suggestive laughter]
And I swam across the moat.
Oh, my God.
I stole from the government.
I'm going to prison.
Don't worry about that.
Kate will be impressed.
We have a meeting with
her tomorrow, B-T-dubs.
[tomatoes singing]
Attack of the killer
tomatoes
Attack
of the killer tomatoes
They'll run you and your mama
and roast for lunch
All the lab's data
is on this thumb drive.
And that's every piece
of physical intel I could grab.
You brought me frisbees?
[paper rustling and crashing]
Don't.
You're stronger than that.
No, you're not.
No, you're not.
[phone ringing]
Is this Popeye?
You traitor.
Popeye, what?
Gangreen found this
in his lab.
So did you or did you not
steal his research data?
No.
As a matter of fact,
I can say unequivocally
that I absolutely,
personally did no such thing.
So, then, it was you?
How much money did she pay you?
Or were you all in on this
from the beginning?
Agent Sifuentes, I think you
are jumping to conclusions.
Well, Kate Patelle.
I suspected these
two were up to no good.
So I recorded
our last encounter.
TARA, please play
my meeting with these two.
And send a complimentary link
to our friend, Miss Sifuentes.
Wait, wait, I'm not done
with you yet.
I wish we could get access
to the government research.
If we put our data
together, maybe we could
solve this tomato threat.
Then why don't
we just steal it?
Yeah.
We should have no problem
getting the information
from those fools.
We steal stuff all the time.
I can't support
an idea like that.
Theft is objectively wrong.
"Theft is objectively wrong."
- Is it?
- It's wrong.
CHAD RAINS: Ahh.
Wrong!
[laughter]
We didn't say that.
What the hell, Patelle?
That's so totally bogus.
- Bogus?
- CHAD RAINS: Yeah.
Do you have another
recording of that meeting?
ANGELA: Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
OK,
that's totally ridiculous.
Listen to me, you give me
three seconds with Doctor Balls
over there, that tomato from
hell, and I will have you--
Angela, Chad, your employment
here is terminated.
Watson, escort them out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You-- sorry, yeah,
you got to get out.
OLD TIME NEWSCASTER:
Today, tomato attacks
continue around the world.
From Cleveland and Boise
to Taipei and Saigon,
the red menaces
continue their rampage.
On the domestic front,
the United States Armed Forces
are mobilizing
every available resource.
Conflicts between
AI and OI systems
have led the military
to press its most fearsome
fighting force into duty--
veterans.
[explosions]
Now, the US Navy is planning
a counterattack at any minute.
So Grant and Marina
will take up positions
at this observation point.
Come in here.
She's not here.
So I take it Marina told you?
It was all my fault.
What was I thinking?
First time in my life
I actually take a risk,
and look what happens.
Oh, you got to be kidding me.
It's him again-- same guy
that tried to kill Marina,
only now he's
messing with the van.
Hey, can I help you?
Hey, Comic-Con's
the other way, dork.
Piss off.
Let's see who you really are.
Dimitri?
Nice to see you again.
You tried to kill Marina.
Why?
Why?
OK, OK.
What do you want to know?
Dammit, Benny.
Gah.
Angela was put up
to this by Kate Patelle.
Even Finletter agreed.
In fact, his exact words were
"that tape is a deepfake."
How does Finletter
know the term "deepfake"
but still call it a tape?
Wait, you're actually
talking to Finletter?
That's such a beautiful
breakthrough.
I love this journey
for you two.
There are more
important things going on.
Look, look, look, look.
[explosions]
Marina, watch out!
[tomatoes growling]
[gunfire]
Stand back!
[gunfire]
[ethereal music]
Chad?
Chad?
Oh, my God, please be OK.
Please.
Marina?
He's still hydrated.
How?
Tomato proof vest, courtesy
of Lieutenant Finletter.
It's all about
good hydration.
I added the whipped cream.
You believed me.
Of course I did.
[romantic music]
Well, that's great
for defense,
but it does nothing to get
rid of the damn things.
Come on.
We're evacuating the city.
Get your gear together
and move out.
Come on.
Let's get the others.
ADMIRAL GRANT: Sifuentes.
[van whirring]
NEWSCASTER:
We now go to John Davenport,
who's live on the scene.
Mrs. Sullivan, I understand
your house was destroyed.
It's gone.
My house, my furniture,
everything.
I had one of those
My Tomatoes for protection.
It didn't do a damn thing.
No more photos
of the grandkids,
no more keepsakes
being passed down
from generation to generation.
Nothing left but memories.
And those won't last
much longer.
I saw an emaciated dog
in a ditch over there.
- Was that yours?
- What?
Oh, no, Sparkles.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
This woman is obviously too
distraught to speak to us.
Let's find someone else
to interview.
Hey, excuse me,
morbidly obese guy?
Want to be on TV?
Hey, you.
[door dings]
Wilbur, we'd almost
given up hope on you.
It's really bad out there.
[sirens blaring]
Oh, I'm really glad
you made it, kid.
Thanks to you.
Your tomato vest did numbers.
Get that out of my face.
Well, the Admiral wants us
to begin evacuation.
No.
Luckily, the word
"evacuation" has
never been in our battle plan.
NEWSCASTER; We now go live
to the White House
- and Press Secretary.
- Turn up the volume.
We all know yesterday,
our country suffered a setback.
And this is when
Americans come together.
Yes?
Yes.
What is the government
doing to protect us?
Thank you for the question.
The most effective defense
for your home
is to install a My Tomato.
You think that guy
had stock in VegIntel?
That's what we have.
Just ignore the chyron.
What is this?
Silly.
Of course.
Turn that off.
I'll call the Admiral.
Richardson is Kate's
government connection.
Let me check something.
Greg, let's go open the desk.
You guys go ahead.
I'll catch up.
[desk opening]
I thought you guys were
opposed to modern technology.
We know all about tech,
we just don't like it.
As times change,
Guardians change.
CHAD RAINS: Wait, you process
the tomatoes you catch?
OLDER LADY:
That's how we pay the bills
for global operations.
FINLETTER:
You don't kill
all the cows because a bull
gores a matador.
Evacuation alerts.
The town will be
empty before dark.
OK, OK, OK. Wait, wait.
We all know the tomatoes
are capable of infrasonic
communication, right?
And certain sounds
disturb them.
Turn that up.
[operatic music]
Now, crank up that helicopter.
[helicopter humming]
Helicopters fly over
the aquaculture 50 times a day.
And there's concerts
all the time.
Yeah, Bluegrass Fest,
which is great.
You should come
with me next year.
But bad harmonies.
Your tomatoes have been sending
aquatic distress signals
around the globe for months.
And now, they're coming here.
Maybe this explains
the jukebox in Gangreen's lab.
This was with
the records I took.
I grabbed it when Kate
threw her hissy fit.
What are we missing here?
Grab that tomato
and bring that back.
You sure that isn't CPI?
IRENE:
I think you mean CGI.
"Puberty Love" sent
the tomatoes reeling in '78.
They must have matured
beyond adolescence.
But why did Gangreen
keep the record?
Doesn't matter. Look at that.
Even if we shrink the tomatoes,
there won't be any crowds left
to stomp the shit out of them.
Wait, that's it.
There's another side
to that record.
Of course--
hiding in plain sight.
Nobody listens to b-sides.
Put that thing on.
[music playing]
Start your kick saying,
join with us
We're going to get those
tomatoes before they get us
We're going
to beat 'em down
All right, take it off.
Take it off.
Well, now we know how Gangreen
kept his freaky vegetables
under heel.
Unfortunately, Popeye over
here gave all of FBI's research
to VegIntel.
Even if we could
stop this attack,
she might be cooking up
something worse.
That's on me, Marina.
I suspected Gangreen was
feeding data to VegIntel.
How else would Kate
develop My Tomato so fast?
But that thumb drive
I gave Angela
contains encrypted malware.
Kate's in for
a little surprise.
Somehow, I feel manipulated.
Look, those photos, you let us
into your inner sanctum
back there on purpose.
CHAD RAINS:
You've been spying on us?
Absolutely, from your very
first day at VegIntel.
All right.
If certain frequencies
brought the tomatoes here,
then we ought
to be able to send them
back home the same way.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
Who needs crowds when
we have the whole ocean?
Let's send them back
into the sea
and use the natural
amplification of sound
to do our stomping for us.
All right, soldiers.
Let's get this jukebox
in the back of the van.
We got a city to save.
Yeah.
Now, let's see what secrets
these dorks have been hiding.
[computer shorting out]
Dammit!
Answer Ball,
My Tomato, help, help.
I warned you.
Gangreen's manipulating--
There has to be a way
to fix this.
Doctor Ball went down
with your network.
Miss Patelle,
you have been served.
And we are very pleased
to inform you
that we now have
complete access to all
your devices and your network.
Boo ya!
You're welcome.
[phone dinging]
PA ANNOUNCER:
Attention all citizens,
you must evacuate
the city immediately.
But don't forget to post your
death and destruction videos.
Yeah.
They're actually a private
organization designed to--
hey.
Oh, hey.
Oh, my God.
Dude.
Psycho.
[fast paced action music]
What are you doing?
All right, team,
we're going to do this.
Record.
Coburn,
get that on the jukebox.
We're gonna win!
Yeah!
What in the world?
[crunching]
Oh, Nanny Nugget.
We're gonna lose.
Oh, now what?
Wait, Chad, do you
still have the old tomato
movies on your phone?
Yeah.
Oh, the song is in the movie.
Good idea.
But we need the speakers.
Right.
Come on, come on.
I got it.
Hey, Finletter, don't suppose
that thing has Bluetooth?
Shit yeah, it does.
Give me that phone.
You get down to the water.
It's your mission now, kid.
All right.
All right, who knows how to
connect a phone to Bluetooth?
Wait, wait, wait.
Not so fast.
Hey.
Ow, ow.
I'm not even
pulling that hard.
Quiet.
Airdrop this song
to your phone.
We need you to share
this track with all
of your followers--
stories, TikToks,
loop de loops, whatever.
We need cross-platform
viral saturation.
What's my take?
You get to live.
CHAD RAINS:
Marina, we gotta go.
- Do it now.
- OK.
Then scram.
[upbeat music]
Guard your kicks
and join with us
We're going to get those
tomatoes before they get us
We're going to beat them,
bash them
Twist them,
mash them in the street
We're going to kick them,
grind them, mush them,
Crush them with our feet
[splashing]
We'll stomp out
the filthy hordes
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
T-O-M-A-T
Oh, yeah, tomato
We'll squish them, we'll
mash them, we'll mush them,
We'll crush them
We were asleep
at the start of their attack
But now we're wide awake
and we're fighting them back
- Tomato
- Juice
Tomato
Juice
[explosions]
Yeah!
Oh, yeah.
[laughter]
A sponsor gave me
these shoes.
Come on.
We blew it up.
[yelling excitedly]
Yeah, we did it!
Marina, come celebrate.
Not so fast, guys.
Look.
[far off thunderous noises]
FINLETTER: What is that?
What is that thing?
[water cascading]
Oh, crap.
It has eyes.
[tomato growling]
Oh, hey.
I can see you.
Help me.
Oh, crap.
It has a mouth.
Oh, crap.
It has teeth.
Silence.
Sam, no.
Sam, it doesn't
react well to music.
[sam singing opera]
You can't kill me.
I have 10 million followers.
[operatic music continues]
[repeated splatters]
Yes!
["ode to joy" begings]
They did it!
They did it!
Is that blood?
It's just ketchup.
That boy needs
some whipped cream.
OLD TIMEY NEWSCASTER:
Nations across the globe
are celebrating
Killer Tomato Victory Day.
Bells are ringing,
children are singing,
and farmers are heaving
sighs of elated relief.
As for the fates
of Kate Patelle
and her coterie of bad guys,
well, you're about to find out.
So, what exactly
are we doing here?
Gangreen asked me
to meet him here.
Said it was critical.
Well, where the hell is he?
Miss Patelle, Mr. Richardson,
it's a pleasure
to see you two together.
Professor, what--
you're a cartoon?
Animated artificial life.
I can live forever.
Why'd you bring us here?
I'm afraid I had no choice
but to intervene.
It's so difficult for a villain
to find ethical conspirators
these days.
Your unquenchable thirst
for power and money
has poisoned our profession
and, frankly, ruined the fun.
[sirens]
This is not gonna end well.
Miss Patelle, Mr. Richardson.
Professor Gangreen is a--
Hello, Marina.
Whatever.
You are all under arrest.
For what?
Fraud, price fixing,
and theft of government pens.
Oh, and we also have
a dapper fellow in custody--
Shit.
--who says you
should be charged
for conspiracy to assassinate
a federal official.
Dimitri. Idiot.
I told him to get you out
of the way, not kill you.
Turns out,
Dimitri was a lot more
ambitious than you realized.
All those people you thought
were working for you,
turns out it's just one guy.
[scrolling noise]
But thousands
of paychecks all being
funneled into Dimitri's
offshore account.
Apparently,
he figured that you'd
be too self-centered to realize
that all of your Watsons
were one person.
Igor, drop the rope.
It's his fault.
Oh, no--
I haven't received
a penny from this.
Money's not my thing.
More of a power guy.
Do you even know who I am?
Oh, my gosh. Yes.
Everybody at the
White House says hi.
Oh, and that you owe them
a report on killer tornadoes.
I give up.
Next time, kiddos.
What about me?
Ah, yes, my dear Kate.
Almost forgot.
I'm turning state's evidence.
And here's the evidence.
[gangreen laughing]
GROUP: Night or day,
day or night,
we fight
the noble tomato fight.
From ages past
to futures unknown,
we protect the world
from veggies ungrown.
Congratulations.
You are now officially
Guardians, keepers of the vine.
This responsibility has been
waiting for you for decades.
The torch is passed.
Lieutenant.
Lieutenant.
Sir.
I apologize that I lost faith
in yourself and your team.
I underestimated
the tomato risk.
You, thank God, did not.
Shared responsibility,
mutual respect, sir.
And, listen, there's no way
any of this was
your fault or anyone else's.
Tomatoes are a force of nature.
And, whether
we like it or not--
Nature will find a way.
I'm sick of being
in the mask.
You guys are going to be
the mask next time.
I've been in the mask
for 35 damn years.
No way.
Greg Colburn in the flesh?
Get over here, kid.
Those eyes.
I'd almost forgotten.
Yeah.
Aren't they beautiful, Gel?
For the last time,
my name is Angela.
Got it.
It must be the candles.
Come on, guys.
We've got an appointment
at the Social Security office.
Good luck.
Maybe afterwards,
you can explain to me
exactly when
it was you decided
we all needed to retire.
The only thing worse
than missing your target
is waiting too long
to pull that trigger.
Oh, sorry, buddy.
No cash.
TARA, now that
you've disconnected
from Kate's network
and have some free time,
shall we begin preparations
to meet the Guardians?
Igor, let's do that interview.
It's time I got some
credit for all this fun.
[maniacal laughter]
[tomato splashes]
[rock music]
Attack of the killer
tomatoes
Attack
of the killer tomatoes
Yeah
Attack of the killer
tomatoes
Attack
of the killer tomatoes
They'll beat you, bash you,
squish you, mash you
Chew you up for brunch
And finish you off
for dinner or lunch
They're marching
down the hall
They're crawling
up the walls
They're truly disgusting,
squishy, mushy
Rotten to the core
They're standing
outside your door
Remember Herman Faarbage
While taking out
his garbage
He turned around
and he could see tomatoes
Hiding in the street
And now he's just a memory
I know I'm going
to miss her
A tomato ate my sister
Sacramento fell today
They're marching
into San Jose
Tomatoes are on their way
The mayor's on vacation
The governor,
he's fled the nation
Police have gone
on strike today
The National Guard
have run away
Tomatoes will
have their day
Attack of the killer
tomatoes
Attack
of the killer tomatoes
They'll beat you, bash you,
squish you, mash you,
Chew you up for lunch
And finish you off
for dinner or lunch
For lunch
For lunch
Dinner or lunch, lunch,
lunch, lunch, lunch, lunch
Dinner or lunch,
lunch, lunch, lunch,
Lunch, lunch, lunch, lunch
Dinner or lunch
Dinner or lunch
Dinner or lunch
Yeah
Mmm.
These killer tomatoes
are delicious.
Great for ice cream,
pizza sauce, smoothies.
Yeah, but you got
to pull the trigger fast
before they turn rotten.
You know Rotten Tomatoes
stole that?
Really?
[intense music]
[tomato growling]
[magical tones]
[inquisitive music]
NARRATOR: A long time ago,
millions of miles out in space,
a wandering asteroid took aim
at the Yucatan Peninsula.
[bonk]
The mass extinction
that followed
killed 80% of the plant
and animal life on Earth,
and is called the KT Event.
It meant the end
of the dinosaurs,
and the creation
of the Yucatan cenote,
and the birth
of the modern tomato.
Tiny black berries
of the tomato plant
evolved to survive.
Eventually, humans intervened.
Domesticated tomatoes
grew even larger,
but more and more dependent
on humans for survival.
Europeans arrived and didn't
have a word for them.
They took the Mayan word
"tomate,"
meaning swelling, fat,
water fruit.
[growling]
[thunder rolling]
[woman screams]
[bird caws]
[intense music]
WOMAN: It was the size of a--
Oh, my gosh.
It must be Derrick.
[screaming]
[thunder rumbling]
Oh, my God.
Haley, what happened?
TARA, turn down the music.
Sure thing.
Volume decreasing.
GIRL: Whoa, nice 'do.
So gorgeous.
Stop it.
Wait,
did that tomato just talk?
Oh, yeah. Brand new.
My Tomato does everything
short of washing your cat.
[cat meows]
[thunder rumbling]
[power dies]
Guys,
we're in sunny San Diego.
How bad can a storm be, right?
[eerie tones]
Something's at the door.
[banging on door]
[door creaks open]
[cartoonish squeak]
[girls screaming]
Go, go, go, go, go.
Go, go.
Oh, my God.
Come back.
Come back.
[TOMATOES MUTTERING
IN MALICIOUS SQUEAKS]
[girls still screaming]
[beater whirring]
[pans clanging]
Where is that damn app?
AUTOMATED VOICE: Lock, unlock!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
A tomato ate my sister!
[screaming]
Thank God
they made it out safe.
But we have other problems.
Those guys?
I'm telling you, Admiral,
those guys just deliver pizza.
Sifuentes, do they look like
pizza delivery guys to you?
Launch the drone.
[machine beeping]
[drone whirring]
By the way, I picked up
a My Tomato.
Pardon the mess.
Damn it.
No plugins, no batteries,
completely organic.
It says it learns
the house as it grows.
Like artificial intelligence.
Only freakier.
Imagine your phone, but with
living, breathing brain cells.
Even worse,
it was grown by VegIntel.
But who are these guys?
Sifuentes,
that's need to know.
[tomatoes muttering]
Tomatoes?
It's my worst nightmare.
[EXCITING JAZZY
MUSIC PLAYING]
PA ANNOUNCER:
The secret FBI meeting
in the Interagency Knowledge
and Education Alcove
will begin shortly.
ANSWER BALL:
I believe you would be wise
to focus on the infamous
Dr. Nicholas Mortimer Gangreen.
You all know
Marina Sifuentes.
How do you do?
How do you do?
Watch your-- watch your foot.
Excuse me and allow me
to introduce myself formally.
I am known as AI Ansible,
the world's most advanced
artificial intelligence.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Doctor Amazing Balls--
how do we stop these tomatoes?
If I may, Admiral Grant,
almost 50 years ago,
there was a similar
tomato uprising.
Ultimately,
it was discovered that
the pop song "Puberty Love"
caused the tomatoes
to recoil and shrink.
Then, crowds of people
stomped the shit out of them.
Great.
Let's just do that.
SIMON GRANT: Yeah.
Unfortunately, we cannot.
Indeed.
The song's puerility
has lost its effectiveness.
What you're about to see
is top secret footage
of a tomato attack from 1978.
[explosion]
Following this incident,
the government
confiscated the
documentary footage
that caught this attack
on film.
A government sponsored PR
campaign promoted the movie
as a comedy--
a comedy so bad
that no one would take it,
or the idea of killer tomatoes,
seriously.
We know all this.
We're the ones who did it.
ANSWER BALL: This plan
appeared to have worked.
Hardly anyone saw the movie.
The public has no recollection
of the traumatic events
of 1978, and the uprising
was stomped out.
See what I did there?
It was stomped out, just
as the tomatoes were stomped--
Where are you going?
What's happening?
What is that, a pantsuit?
Why are you crawling
on the table?
Gangreen is behind this.
He wants terror in every
boardroom and government
office-- probably the DMV too.
You're not listening to me.
Hi, I'm TARA.
Welcome to VegIntel.
I'm Doctor Kate Patelle,
Adolescent Prodigy
and Creator of My Tomato.
Our safe, organic,
bioneural network
uses nature to perform
everyday tasks
while keeping
your communications out
of the hands of AI bots,
scammers, and predators.
Make sure you go home
to the safety of a My Tomato.
Mr. Press Secretary,
might I ask,
where is our executive order?
Well, work faster.
There's a fortune to be made
replacing those government
answer balls with My Tomatoes.
Dimitri,
call the coast and tell them
I want the sales reports
on my desk at 8:17 tonight.
And I don't mean 8:16 or 8:18.
8:17.
Which coast?
All of them.
ASSISTANT: Oh, excuse me.
Just let me get you
your coffee here.
A paper straw?
I want my straw.
There you are.
Watson, get me another.
Oh, my name's not--
One team, one name.
You are all Watson.
Madam.
[ominous tones]
ANSWER BALL: Top secret footage
of a tomato attack from 1978.
SIMON GRANT: We know all this.
We're the ones who did it.
[screaming]
MAN: Sacr bleu!
What are you guys up to?
WOMAN: [speaking spanish]
Abuela, our team entered that
house minutes after these
guys left.
And everything was
as clean as a whistle.
You see that body?
10 minutes later, that woman
walked out of the house,
good as new.
[speaking spanish]
You've known the answer
since you were a little girl.
Your dreams are
your murderboard, Mija.
[speaking spanish]
Admiral Grant isn't
telling me everything.
[ominous tones]
[tomato growling]
[young sifuentes screams]
[speaking spanish]
[speaking spanish]
[speaking spanish]
Many centuries ago, the great
goddess of the moon,
with a single furious
blow, ended the dinosaurs
and created los cenotes
that bring us fresh water,
the fertility of the Earth
and serve as our gateway
to the afterlife.
[tomatoes muttering]
[water gurgling]
[operatic music]
Gel!
Gel! Look right away.
It got my arm.
[screams]
Great Whites
prefer cooler waters
and rarely come
so close to shore.
For the bazillionth time,
quit calling me Gel.
Wow.
You're really no fun at all,
are you, Angela?
Everything looks fine
down there.
You got healthy
and happy mama babies.
So when are we going
to harvest them?
[clearing throat]
[helicopter whirring overhead]
Carbon absorption
needs to get better
and better, which is great.
But I'm still hearing
that low octave grumble.
I can feel the bass from
that concert down there.
Maybe they can too.
Right.
Tomatoes that grumble to music.
There's a reason why you're the
diver and I'm the scientist.
Yeah, cause you can't swim.
[boat whirring]
Look, whatever you're hearing,
it's probably
just in your instruments--
static and stuff.
Or you got that,
what do you call it,
that ear ringing thing--
I got a dope audiologist
I can hook you up with.
Sometimes it's just earwax.
No big deal.
I love being out here.
What happened to you?
Move over.
I'm driving.
CHAD RAINS:
Look, if you just let me
teach you how to swim, you
go down there and check on it.
Why'd VegIntel put you
on aquaculture, anyway?
Check the audio
and tell me I'm not crazy.
[tomatoes muttering]
Man.
[TOMATOES MUTTERING
IN MALICIOUS SQUEAKS]
Ah!
[keyboard clacking]
[speaking spanish]
Abuela, I'm going
to meet the Admiral.
I can't do this anymore.
[speaking spanish]
I keep being haunted
by my nightmares.
[speaking spanish]
PA ANNOUNCER: Would
the captain of the destroyer
please move your ship?
You're parked
in the submarine zone.
Sifuentes.
Admiral, I'm headed
to rendezvous Alpha 7.
Please meet me there
in 10 minutes.
Sifuentes,
we've been through this.
We need to talk--
30 minutes.
[phone ringing]
Sir?
Admiral Grant,
I'm on a deadline.
Sir, there's been new
incidents of killer tomatoes.
Killer torndaoes?
Sir, I think that's a movie.
I said tomatoes--
killer tomatoes.
Whatever it is.
I'll tell you what,
let's just add it to the agenda
for the Congressional
UFO hearings.
Good?
[reporters shouting]
I know you've got questions.
I don't have these answers.
Luckily, we do have
the Secretary of Energy here.
Madam Secretary,
will you please come up here
and take their questions?
Why haven't we junked these
things for the My Tomato yet?
We're close
on organic intelligence,
but still not quite ready.
Bullshit.
The campaign is launched.
We've already sold
millions of home versions.
TARA, run the footage
from the beach house.
As you wish, Miss Patel.
Dimitri, look at this.
[tomatoes muttering]
Now, run that again
in slow motion.
[slow muttering]
Look at that.
DIMITRI: Look at what?
That's not a random action.
Our My Tomatoes can
only communicate
through Gangreen's
TARA network.
But those tomatoes
are communicating directly,
peer to peer.
If we could get our tomatoes
to work together without TARA,
we'd cut Gangreen
out altogether.
He'd be as obsolete
as Answer Ball over there.
Do you know
what elephants, whales,
and tomatoes
all have in common?
Infrasonic communication.
Turn that thing off.
More news-- our monitors have
detected escaping inventory.
Tomatoes appear to have reached
the surface on their own.
Very good, Dimitri.
[phone ringing]
Kate, there she is.
Did you see the video I sent?
It's astounding.
Who's your source?
Admiral Grant.
I don't think much of it,
but I thought you might.
No, you're right.
Nothing unusual.
So might we be looking at
a big day soon for My Tomato?
You have no idea.
But I need that
executive order.
Yeah, I'm working on it.
Listen, I got to go.
Very busy,
got a lot of paperwork here--
really piling up.
I want to meet our young
marine biologist immediately.
Already sent for.
Sir, I'm sorry,
but you know as well
as anybody that
these killer tomatoes
have been around forever.
PRESS SECRETARY:
At ease, Admiral.
Now you sound like
a conspiracy nut.
I'll just leave this one
to the spin room.
Gotta run.
Admiral,
thanks for meeting me.
Sifuentes, what is
so damn important?
Why didn't you tell me
about the movie cover-ups?
Quiet, quiet.
There's ears everywhere.
Anyway, that was all
on a need-to-know basis.
Really?
You know my family.
If anybody needs to know,
it's me.
The paratrooper,
the scuba guy,
the old lady
in the wheelchair--
they're all the same people
from those old movies,
aren't they?
What happened to trust?
It's not a matter of trust,
Sifuentes.
Sometimes lies live so long
that simply telling the truth
is treason.
You owe it to my parents.
I didn't get this job
by accident.
Or did you just hire me
out of guilt?
You were hired
because you were the most
qualified person for the job.
But you are asking me
to reveal secrets
that run so deep
that the presidents
don't even know about them.
Why all the secrecy?
Can you imagine
the panic in the world
if people knew their own
vegetables could kill them?
At first, we thought we could
eat our way out of this.
But, no.
[gun shots in background]
Innocent people are
playing games with tomatoes.
We don't know the kind of
danger they could be spreading.
[shouting]
[tomatoes sloshing]
OK, OK, OK.
The paratrooper,
Wilbur Finletter,
he was the original commander
of the FBI Strike Force.
But, after some years,
the government cut them loose.
And then your parents,
they hooked him up
with some
centuries-old secret tomato
watch organization.
[speaking spanish]
I know more about him
than you might think.
But what about Gangreen?
Gangreen?
Gangreen is a nut job.
Gangreen is not a problem.
The problem is Kate Patelle
and her My Tomato crap.
Well, maybe it's time we
bring in your Wilbur Finletter,
convince him that
he needs our help.
Sam Smith,
he's your key for that.
Oh, yes.
You'll find him at the Barrel
Roll Bar any day of the week.
But do not tell him I sent you.
Say that you're there
on behalf of the White House.
[loud obnoxious noises]
Yo, what is up, you guys?
The internet is freaking out
about these so-called tomato
attacks, but I want to hear
it straight from the people.
So I'm coming to you
live from the streets.
That's embarrassing.
What the--
STREAMER: Woo!
Oh, oh, oh.
Hey, how about a taste of
your own medicine, kid?
Whoa, whoa.
Easy does it, bro.
Scram.
I can't believe we got
invited to meet Kate Patelle.
Boss babe in person.
Don't call her that.
It's disrespectful.
Tuck in your shirt.
CHAD RAINS: That tomato
was actually kind of good.
[corporate music]
VOICEOVER: Ever wondered
how a My Tomato works?
It all starts with
the TARA network.
TARA is a miracle of modern
organic intelligence.
Now, she serves as
the central communication node
in our network
of sentient tomatoes.
With synthetic biogenetics,
when the world profits,
we profit.
I think I have an ethical
obligation to tell her
about the grumbling.
We are meeting the
Kate Patelle in person.
I'm not going to start off
by lying to her.
You're crazy, Gel.
I mean, you've proven you can
grow a vegetable with no soil
and no fresh water.
To me, that sounds like
the very definition
of VegIntel Organics.
Those grumbling sounds
must mean something.
Stop calling me Gel.
The data just hit my phone.
Your inventory count
was short again.
Don't worry about that.
They're probably just
on the bottom of the bay.
Or they swam away on their own.
Call of the wild.
ANGELA: Yeah, swam away.
[blues music]
No, for real, though, these
tomato attacks are mental.
Check this out-- authorities
say there's no evidence
this ever happened.
It's just another hoax.
But, in seriousness,
if you or anyone you know
has been affected
by these tomato attacks,
don't forget to smash that
Like and Subscribe button.
All right.
Mental.
[whistles]
Another one.
And one for my friend here.
[door opens]
Hello.
I'm going to get me
some of this.
Hey, gorgeous.
Are you sunburnt?
Are you always this hot?
[man grunting]
My nose.
You knocked off my nose.
The White House said
I could find you here.
You're being called back
to active duty.
I'm through.
Kaput.
You can take
your experimental jet--
And you must be?
Sir Elton John.
And who told you to look
for me here, love?
Drop the routine,
and I'll tell you.
MAN: That's a peanut.
Sam Smith,
master of disguise.
[machine sounds]
And attorney at law.
Uh-huh.
Admiral Grant said
I could find you.
I'm a real lawyer.
I'm sure you're a credit
to the profession.
Let's go.
Oh, there it is.
My nose.
Oh, that's an olive.
[blow lands]
Call me.
SIFUENTES: Really?
Everybody deserves
representation.
I feel a sea breeze today.
Look, I've been told
that you can connect me
with the original
FBI Strike Force.
That strike force was
disbanded decades ago.
Well, I need them
to un-disband.
Boss isn't going
to want to work with you.
Answers to a higher power now.
Well, then it's a good thing
the Admiral wants him.
Oh, Admiral Grant.
I would suggest you leave
that part out of your pitch.
Whatever happened between
him and the Admiral, anyway?
The whole movie scam
was his idea.
Brass decided to shut
down the whole task force
along with Area 57--
ruined our careers.
Frank got a promotion.
The rest of us had
to make other connections.
What's Area 57?
Wait, wait, wait.
You just said "we" had
to have other connections.
I thought you were
practicing law now.
Law is just a side gig.
Truth is, you never really
leave, to be honest.
Too many secrets.
Finletters Pizza.
Oh, you even have a menu.
Oh, gee.
Secret club-- do you guys
have a secret handshake, too?
Needs to know work both ways.
[tomatoes muttering]
Hi. Welcome to VegIntel.
So sorry, Miss Patelle's
in back-to-back meetings.
Can I get you any coffee
while you wait?
Can't.
IBS.
That's irritable
bowel syndrome.
Ew.
ANSWERING MACHINE: Hi.
You've reached VegIntel.
All of us are
working from home,
and there is no one here
to take your call.
Wow.
Jasmine,
check out that giant tomato.
It doesn't look organic,
Josh.
I think he's
after our compost.
Oh, no.
He's got little Bobby.
Poor Bobby.
That's a drag.
I just finished paying
for his karate lessons.
Yeah, well, they didn't help.
[tomato burps]
[THE SKYLINERS,
"SINCE I DON'T HAVE YOU"]
I don't have plans
and schemes
And I don't have
I have one large pepperoni.
[phone ringing]
Finletters Pizza,
what can I get you?
What?
Pineapple?
On a pizza?
What are you, nuts?
What can I get you?
Yo, pops, you take Venmo?
No, man. Cash only.
Cash App?
Zelle?
Look, kid, no newfangled
high tech gobbledygook
substitutions for good old
American greenbacks, OK?
So you either pony up
something with dead presidents
on it, or no pizza.
Guy wants a dead president?
What's the world
coming to, man?
Pardon me, but do you happen
to have any singing zebras?
No, but we do have peanut
butter and gummy bear pizza.
Your uncle needs you.
Colburn, Irene, in the back.
[intense music]
I haven't dipped into this
inventory in years.
[door slides open]
Kind of musty in here.
We got to get this
place cleaned out.
So, what's going on?
Let me guess,
our old friends are worried.
Looks like it.
Yeah, well, not thrilled
about all the public attention,
but we're on it.
It's under control.
Not as far
as Washington's concerned.
They got video of you
the other night.
Things got a little messy.
They asked me
to bring the team in.
How about you
tell them to just go
make another fake movie?
Or, better yet, they could just
re-release one of the ones
they already shot
that nobody saw.
Come on, come on.
Wilbur-- Wilbur, this
might be a bit of kismet.
Someone did this before us,
and someone's
got to do it after us.
The hell are you
talking about, Irene?
We can't do this forever.
We could use some new blood.
Just take a meeting.
You don't hear anything
you like, you go home.
I smell my favorite Admiral.
SAM SMITH:
Just take one meeting.
All right.
Shut her down, people.
We got a gig.
Yes.
There we go.
Come on.
Leave those
aprons here, though.
You better hope
a food critic doesn't show up.
I've been waiting 50 years
to get this place written up.
[power dies]
Hello?
Oh, well.
[marching band music]
Hi.
I am so excited to meet you.
I've read all of your cover
stories so many times--
Wired, Forbes,
even that Page Six hit piece
couldn't steal your shine.
Oh, I'm aware
of my fabulosity.
Dimitri, how fabulous am I?
Mondo fab.
Now, dispense
with the flattery
and show me your findings.
So growth rates are exceeding
expectation, which is strange
given that these tomatoes
were cloned from
a slow growing Yucatan variety.
Our working theory is that
the underwater sound waves
may be influencing
their behavior.
Behavior?
They make sounds, grumbles.
If you look at this clip
right here,
you can even see that
the tomatoes vibrate in sync.
The science,
it's pretty complicated.
So?
She's a genius.
She is a--
you are a genius.
OK, so this--
[vacuum whirring]
[chatter continues]
Whatever is happening,
saltwater farming
could save billions
of gallons of fresh water.
I've seen quite enough.
All right.
Do I need to remind you of
your confidentiality agreement?
No?
Bye bye.
Thank you for your time.
So nice to meet you.
Well, you freaked
them out, Gel.
Most people want
to hear the truth.
That has not
been my experience.
What's the deal
with these guys?
I don't think they know
what they got.
They're just focused
on saving the planet.
Well, let's make sure
they don't do that
before we can make money
off of it.
All right, well,
I'll find some place
to put those two where we
can keep an eye on them.
Better,
I'll volunteer their services
to our government partners.
Meantime, see what
you can do to keep
Sifuentes out of our hair.
[phone ringing]
Hello, Kate the Great.
Caught me in the middle of
a workout, but I'll allow it.
How's my favorite
captain of industry?
Tell me all about the world
of bio-orgy genetics.
My Tomato is selling
like hotcakes.
I'm even cranking up
My Tomato 2.0
to clear inventory
and cover your ass.
What's behind schedule
is your government contract.
Patience is its own reward,
sweetheart.
Why don't you leave
the timing to me?
I'm sending you
some reinforcement,
two of my best scientists.
I need you to cut through
the red tape,
get them cleared, and placed
with your government meatheads.
That's actually clever.
You might make it
in the big leagues after all.
Just keep me in the loop.
You'll be my first call,
butter cake.
[intense tones]
Dimitri,
I need everyone on this.
Grab those underwater tomatoes
and slice them and dice them
until you squeeze every last
strand of DNA for analysis.
DIMITRI: Slice and dice.
[tomatoes muttering]
[man screaming]
All right, I'm going
to take this one alone.
You go perform a routine recon.
Pick me up here at 2100 hours.
PA ANNOUNCER:
The Interagency Knowledge and
Education Alcove
will begin the top secret
FBI meeting momentarily.
You must be the fabled
Wilbur Fuddrucker.
It's Finletter.
And you must be
the unknown agent--
Sifuentes.
Interesting uniform
you've got there.
This uniform has seen me
through many tough times,
but you already knew that.
I'm not sure
what I know anymore.
Tell me about that patch.
This patch, I got it
for valor under combat--
the tomato uprising of '78.
Yeah, my grandmother
showed me one.
Agh, my nuts.
My parents were killed
in the war.
Your father was major Miguel
Alberto Juarez De Los Santos
Garcia Hernandez Sifuentes
De La Casa De Fuerte.
I heard all about the war
from my grandmother.
[phone buzzing]
Your mother and father were
great and honorable soldiers,
but they were also--
[speaking spanish]
In fact, my mother recruited
you on her deathbed.
And I've seen the movies.
That documentary was intended
to tell the public the truth.
Mmhmm.
The guardians have monitored
the tomatoes for centuries.
The sequels, the cartoons,
pitiful contrivances.
Screw the movies.
I assume my mother
chose you for a reason.
In honor of your mother
and father,
I'm willing to give
this partnership a shot.
[speaking spanish]
Look,
part of my job is establishing
a chain of command.
"Partner" isn't
in our vernacular.
That's fine.
On paper, you can have
all the commands you like.
But in the field,
my crew follows my orders.
Fair enough.
However, if you
step out of line,
I'll see to it that you and
your crew are retired for good.
Wait, what do you mean?
Like executed
or literally retired?
Literally retired.
We're already retired.
Then I mean executed.
We can live with that.
But first, I need you
to read aloud this request
for services form.
I'm not reading that.
All right, well, then,
I'll just give you your copy.
It's recommended you keep
it in your paperwork.
- We don't have to have copies.
- No, it's OK.
I'll sign it and date it.
And then that way I'll know--
No, because it's all--
I gotta go.
And I just--
do you have a pen?
[gasps] Mysterioso.
It doesn't make
any sense, Gel.
I mean, Patelle practically
throws us out of her office,
and now we're on some
special assignment
to the FBI,
whatever that means.
I'm pretty sure this
is the right address.
CHAD RAINS:
Something smells off.
ANGELA: Yeah,
you stepped in dog poop.
You must be Chip and Dale.
Oh, it's Chad and Angela.
You're agent Sifuentes?
The brains and muscle, huh?
Just so you know, it wasn't
my idea to bring you in.
And I have no idea
how you got clearance.
He wasn't my idea, either.
He's Kate Patelle's muscle,
not mine.
How do you know
I wasn't the brains?
'Cause you're not.
I could be the brains.
Looks like nobody's here.
Weird.
GANGREEN:
Welcome to my laboratory.
Gangreen,
you're working here?
GANGREEN:
I came with the castle.
How's Romania?
GANGREEN: I'm still there.
The miracle of technology,
my young lad.
I was alerted when
you entered my lab.
Feel free to look around.
CHAD RAINS: Cool.
ANGELA:
So you're the Doctor Gangreen?
You do experiments
on vegetables?
GANGREEN: Well, a little work
on other vegetables,
like those carrots.
[carrot growling]
[carrots muttering]
But this is how
tomatoes settle.
So, doc, have you tried
a bacterial synthetic genome
or saltwater infusion?
I see the whipped cream,
but where's the hot chocolate?
GANGREEN: Funny you
should mention water.
Take a look at that
tomato on the table.
If I didn't know better,
I'd think that tomato
was dehydrating the plant.
[tomato growling]
Oh, my gosh.
Uh, guys!
[nervous stammering]
[tomato growling]
Just another red mess
looking to sap
our precious bodily fluids.
[tomatoes muttering]
Doctor Gangreen,
we're being attacked.
GANGREEN: Come again?
We're being attacked.
GANGREEN: Watch whose cat?
Attacked!
GANGREEN: Oh.
[upbeat music]
I'm sure you're in no danger.
They're just friendly hugs.
Angela, I think you
could be of great help
in analyzing the data.
Look in my desk drawer.
There is a temporary
access card to the lab.
But, just to be clear,
your work is exclusively
on this isolated computer.
No internet, no remote access?
GANGREEN: That's right.
This information could
never leave the castle.
MAN: Oh, professor.
The lunch buffet is starting.
GANGREEN: Mmm.
Monte Cristo sandwiches.
Ta ta, science people.
That was weird.
[breaking news music]
Last night, tomato attacks
were reported in New Orleans--
[people screaming]
--Tokyo,
Milan.
Authorities attribute the
incidents to unusual weather
patterns or UFOs.
[alarm sounding]
[phone ringing]
Finletter.
MAN:
Incident at Fallbrook Road.
Got it. Fallbrook Road.
We got activity, let's go.
You take the van.
I'll meet you there.
But Sifuentes is on her way.
She's bringing two new
team members to meet.
She and the government
are going to have to wait.
This is a Guardians 911.
[woman screaming]
This poor woman was
dehydrated to death.
Looks to me like tomatoes.
Only one way to find out
for sure, sheriff.
Oh, gross.
That's blood.
That's tomato juice.
Well, good thing
we didn't step in it.
[van humming]
Not moving fast enough.
Barely got to that poor
girl at the beach house
on time and too late to do
rehydration or cleanup here.
Local cops beat us.
It's not good.
Where's Wilbur?
Oh!
Sorry I'm late.
I forgot my phone.
[phone booth crashes]
It's like the boomers
forgot to lock the front door.
Maybe there's
somebody in the back.
Smells like they also forgot
to turn off the microwave.
That's just how boomers smell.
So, Marina, exactly what
government agency
do you belong to?
Oh, do you know Nunya?
Nunya business.
That's not very nice.
No way.
Tomato voodoo doll?
Oh.
Did you know they used
to grow babies in space?
Shut up.
Tit Tat and rainbow Skitters.
That's my favorite.
Wait, how's this thing work?
Somewhere to insert,
swipe, tap, scan?
What the?
[clacking keys]
[door slides open]
ANGELA:
SIFUENTES: Whoa.
CHAD RAINS: Does this mean
I can't get rainbow Skitters?
ANGELA:
Wait, are we trespassing?
SIFUENTES:
We're for sure trespassing.
CHAD RAINS: A tomato speakeasy?
Come on.
What?
So let me get this straight--
the disappearance of Atlantis,
the eruption of Pompeii,
and the Hindenburg
crash were all--
SIFUENTES: Tomatoes.
All tomatoes.
Attack of the killer
tomatoes.
Attack--
Oh, my God, Chad.
What?
Come on.
It's a classic.
- We're working.
- Well, it's a classic.
I have it on my Should've
Won An Oscars movie playlist.
What's that?
What's that?
It's a crazy thing.
[light humming]
They're back.
Turn that off.
Everyone, out.
Out.
[rapid footsteps]
WILBUR FINLETTER:
Well, who are these two?
Don't blame me.
Orders from above.
Seriously, Irene,
tell me,
just why do we need
more pencil pushers?
I say we give them
a chance, chief.
It's nice to have another
woman on the team.
Any of you knit?
No.
I do-- a little.
What? There's a lot of hurry up
and wait in the SEALs.
SEALs?
CHAD RAINS: Yes, sir.
All right, Sam,
look, I'll admit,
these kids have
compelling backstories,
but we don't need them.
All right, you'll be hearing
from me, big guy.
All right.
How's the weather down there?
Just fine.
Good day, Mama Smurf.
Those old people
are wildly offensive.
Getting kind of hungry.
Maybe we should
go get some food.
What?
We just left the pizza shop.
[gunfire]
Should we go back?
What the-- shots fired--
Go, go.
[gunfire continues]
[glass shatters]
It's the Wild West out here.
You can let go now.
[romantic music builds]
Yeah, OK.
That was no random
street shooting.
I think somebody
tried to kill you.
I just got a message
from Kate Patelle.
She wants me and Chad
in her office now.
Right.
I can watch my own six.
You two get out of here.
Stay low.
Low, low, low, low.
[breaking news music]
Even the mere mention
of the word
is sufficient to induce panic.
Tomato.
[commotion and rustling]
[tomatoes splatting]
[relaxing music]
[tomatoes muttering]
[girl screams]
Hi, I'm Kate Patelle, CEO and
Founder of VegIntel Organics.
Our new My Tomato can provide
24-hour tomato detection
and security services.
So effective you won't
even know it's there.
And kids will love the new
fuzzy tomato plush.
DIMITRI: Have a seat.
You sent for us?
Do you know how I got
to be in this office?
Elevator.
Funny guy, Watson.
I got here by being
the toughest SOB in the room.
I never took no for an answer.
Isn't that right, Dimitri?
Have I ever taken no
for an answer?
Yeah-- no.
No.
No.
It's no.
Here's the thing--
certain people
in the government
aren't happy about
the progress of our research.
Anyone famous?
Let's just say they are a lot
higher up in the government
than who you're working with.
Man, that blows.
Doctor Gangreen says
he's making progress.
According to my calculations,
he just says that to protect
his cushy government contract.
As usual, your feeble
AI brain cannot compute.
Doctor Gangreen is gathering
necessary information,
you clinking,
clanking, clattering
collection of caliginous junk.
Doctor Gangreen
is world renowned.
In fact, he has his own
action figure.
[splat]
Have you shared any
of your research with them?
No, but Doctor Gangreen
is working on the DNA
of a particular strain
of tomatoes
that we've been
experimenting with.
And he plans to call on me
to help with the analysis.
I'm not sure
we have time for that.
I need every scrap of data
the government has collected.
No time to waste.
Have you just
asked them for it?
Too much red tape.
That's why you're
on my team, Watson.
Therefore-- therefore--
You want us to steal it.
Steal it?
Of course not.
We're all working together.
I just need you
to copy the data
so my team,
including Angela,
can look at it
and see how we can help.
I don't know, man.
I'm not big on betraying
my own teammates.
First, you're on my team.
Second, I didn't say anything
about betraying anyone.
We're all just trying
to save the world.
Be nice to do that on time.
I'm a scientist,
not a burglar.
Of course I can find
someone else to do this.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, we can actually do it.
We can handle it.
Fantastic.
I knew I could count on you.
Just give us
a couple of days.
24 hours.
No, 23 hours.
And I want everything
on those computers
and every scrap
of paper, binder,
and notepad you
set your eyes on.
Goodbye.
Meeting over.
Thanks for coming.
Actually going to break
into Gangreen's computer?
Of course not.
I was just playing along
until we could buy time
to figure out what to do.
Look, I know Kate
is super smart,
but being smart is overrated.
We need to be careful.
Yeah, but I really don't
want to let Kate down, though.
I mean, I do have the access
card to Gangreen's lab.
OK, Gel,
and here's what you do--
you go in at night,
you act like you're
supposed to be there.
You wear something dark.
You bring a mask.
And if they catch you, you put
the mask on, you run like hell.
A mask?
CHAD RAINS: Yep.
Stop calling me "Gel."
[man whistling]
She did have a point
about the urgency, though--
saving the planet and all.
Do you compost?
You want them followed?
No, no.
We have bigger tofu to fry.
Have our people replicated
Angela's tomato behavior yet?
Yeah.
About that-- Angela's
hydroponic tomato farm
disappeared before
we could get to it.
The equipment, the tomatoes,
the data, all gone.
Crap on a low fat,
gluten free cracker.
It's Gangreen.
He stole Angela's experiment
right out of the bay.
He cares more about those damn
tomatoes than our success.
We need that data.
Like that shirt, Colburn.
Really makes your eyes pop.
All right, let's get
down to brass tacks here.
We got significant tomato
activity in Sector 3
all along here.
They seem to be assembling
some sort of encampment.
Encampment?
You mean like
marshmallows,
horseback rides,
and tomato sack races?
That would be nice.
But I was thinking more
like the Southern Coast
of England June 5, 1944.
[dings]
Where's Sifuentes?
Ah.
Getting shot at was
the highlight of my day.
Oh, should we stop,
and you can
just tell us about your day?
Let's keep going.
Don't pay no mind.
All right, listen, it's time
for individual sorties here.
So, Colburn, Sam, prepare
to deploy in the next 24 hours.
Colburn, I need you to assess
all the public transportation
lines in this area.
Sam, dust off your old
tomato disguise.
I want a nighttime
infiltration of that camp.
I need you to look, act,
and smell like a tomato.
Yes, sir.
No questions.
I said "no questions."
All right, thank you
for your patience.
Good afternoon.
It's been a busy day
at the White House.
All right, number one,
we are confirming sightings
of so-called killer tomatoes.
But, as you can see,
they're target balloons.
Both US and British
navies have intercepted
these tomatoes before they got
near or in American airspace.
[laughter]
And, to be certain, we have
shot down every red balloon
in US airspace.
[machine gun fire]
[fighter jet whirring]
OK, issue number two--
we are confirming
we have identified
vulnerabilities
to electromagnetic pulses
in our answer balls.
The president is signing
an executive order to replace
all AI devices with My Tomato.
All right.
Busy, busy.
I'd love to take questions,
but duty calls.
[mystery music]
Look, we got a computer.
Bought it on UBid,
delivered in 15 minutes.
Cool.
Oh, and I bought
something for you as well.
These two toy cats, they were
delivered with the computer.
Aren't they cute?
One for you and one for me.
You got to prepare
yourself properly.
Have you ever taken
a gazpacho plunge?
I can't say I have.
Is this a--
Oh, I didn't know
the head came off.
So tonight, when you go home,
I want you to strip naked--
OK.
--dunk your genitals
in a jar of salsa.
Well, don't lose it.
You might be able
to make use of it.
Thanks, Irene.
Mild or spicy?
You don't have
to worry about it.
I'm just looking out for him.
We all have to do
our part, don't we, dear?
Yeah, it hurts.
Thanks.
I'll keep it safe.
I think these guys
have had a few too
many tomato sauce bottles,
if you know what I mean.
I have to go home
and, uh,
wash my cat.
I'll see you two
in the morning.
We all have to do our part.
Your cat?
[door dings]
She has a cat?
[scraping sounds]
[dogs barking viciously]
[fabric ripping]
Good Girl Scout--
always prepared.
Badass Girl Scout.
Yum.
Yum.
[tomato muttering]
[angela gasping]
[repeated banging noises]
Oh, my God.
Whipped cream rehydrates?
[computer making noises]
Mask.
GANGREEN:
Home sweet laboratory.
That is a long balloon ride
from Romania.
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on,
come on, come on.
Yes.
GANGREEN: My carrots!
Who's there?
Ah!
No!
We need to meet up with Sam.
He owes me a briefing.
Did Angela get caught up
with her cat grooming?
I'm actually a little worried
about that.
[arrow splats]
Damn.
I thought we got
rid of that guy.
[head splats]
Stay there.
Don't move.
[intense music]
Hey.
[burps]
Dick.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
That's a cool bow.
Oh, thanks.
Expensive?
No.
Got it on sale.
That ski mask
is probably mighty hot
in conditions like this.
Tell me about it.
It's like a sauna
under this thing.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Run.
Run.
No, you-- oh, OK.
Run.
[funny, intense music]
What's up, dude?
CHAD RAINS: You again?
Hey, that hat's, like,
my whole identity, bro.
[chad shouting]
[tomato muttering menacingly]
Hey, hey, hey.
Whoa.
Um, um.
Oh.
Tomato juice.
Tomato juice.
Tomato juice.
It was worth a try.
[splat]
[hard rock music]
Night, night, hooray.
My apologies.
I thought it was a tomato.
You get it.
[shouting maniacally]
[STEADY AUTOMATED
BREATHING]
[yoda voice]
Your father, I am not.
[kid screams]
Heirloom, this is Roma.
Red Browndy has landed.
[door dings]
[tomatoes muttering]
Hey, you all right?
Yeah.
You know, you're
pretty good on terra firma
for a swim instructor.
I guess I just flashed back
to my days in the service.
Felt good.
Felt that way
every day as a SEAL.
Why did you get out?
No choice.
I was on a mission
that went fubar.
Spent a whole year in the
hospital just watching movies.
You really think this
is the real deal?
'Cause I've seen those
killer tomato movies,
and they're pretty ridiculous--
especially that
fried green one.
I mean, what was that about?
It was a cover-up designed
to keep people quiet.
[phone buzzing]
Hold on.
Yeah, talk to me.
ADMIRAL GRANT: Sifuentes,
[non-english speech]
[non-english speech]
Meet me at the pier.
I'll be right there.
They just captured
a giant tomato.
I need to see this.
Let's go.
No, you stay right here.
What if you need me?
SIFUENTES: I won't.
[explosion]
I love the smell
of ketchup in the morning.
Smells like victory.
Had a bit of a skirmish here
last night, Sifuentes.
Suffered many casualties,
but, fortunately,
we captured
one of the bastards.
[tomato muttering]
This, God help us,
is a wild cherry tomato.
I've never seen one that big.
Keep your mouth shut, stump.
It gets even worse--
Gangreen called, he said
someone broke into his office
last night.
They may have gotten
into his computer.
I don't know why
you trust that guy.
I don't.
But he wouldn't be
the first double agent
to prove useful to us.
Any idea who broke in?
I wish I could tell you, but HR
regulations prohibit them
from telling me the age, race,
gender, religious affiliation,
or disability of the culprit.
However, video surveillance
has proven that whoever it was
was wearing a Popeye mask.
I know exactly who that is.
That's right, spinach breath.
[game sounds]
[door dings]
Where the hell have you been?
I've been worried sick
about you.
I've got the data.
I've got it all.
Wait, you stole
from Gangreen's lab?
Yeah. The file took forever.
A tomato got my arm.
But I saved it
with whipped cream.
And then a carrot jumped
onto the keyboard.
It was 6 feet tall.
I almost choked to death.
And then Gangreen was closing
in, and a tomato attack.
And then Gangreen
ran right past me,
and then I put
on my mask, and I escaped,
and the alarms went off.
And I fought off the guards.
And then I used a phone cable
to zip line across the moat.
It snapped.
I fell into the moat with the
alligators, punching alligators
in the face, and then
punched one in the nuts,
and then uppercutted one,
then I chokeslammed one.
And we almost became friends.
And then we became
enemies again.
And--
- What?
I did it all, right
down to the mask.
Wait, that was you
that stole the Popeye--
I was just being a jerk.
But you thought I was being--
that is awesome, Gel.
You rock.
And the whipped
cream, too, huh?
[suggestive laughter]
And I swam across the moat.
Oh, my God.
I stole from the government.
I'm going to prison.
Don't worry about that.
Kate will be impressed.
We have a meeting with
her tomorrow, B-T-dubs.
[tomatoes singing]
Attack of the killer
tomatoes
Attack
of the killer tomatoes
They'll run you and your mama
and roast for lunch
All the lab's data
is on this thumb drive.
And that's every piece
of physical intel I could grab.
You brought me frisbees?
[paper rustling and crashing]
Don't.
You're stronger than that.
No, you're not.
No, you're not.
[phone ringing]
Is this Popeye?
You traitor.
Popeye, what?
Gangreen found this
in his lab.
So did you or did you not
steal his research data?
No.
As a matter of fact,
I can say unequivocally
that I absolutely,
personally did no such thing.
So, then, it was you?
How much money did she pay you?
Or were you all in on this
from the beginning?
Agent Sifuentes, I think you
are jumping to conclusions.
Well, Kate Patelle.
I suspected these
two were up to no good.
So I recorded
our last encounter.
TARA, please play
my meeting with these two.
And send a complimentary link
to our friend, Miss Sifuentes.
Wait, wait, I'm not done
with you yet.
I wish we could get access
to the government research.
If we put our data
together, maybe we could
solve this tomato threat.
Then why don't
we just steal it?
Yeah.
We should have no problem
getting the information
from those fools.
We steal stuff all the time.
I can't support
an idea like that.
Theft is objectively wrong.
"Theft is objectively wrong."
- Is it?
- It's wrong.
CHAD RAINS: Ahh.
Wrong!
[laughter]
We didn't say that.
What the hell, Patelle?
That's so totally bogus.
- Bogus?
- CHAD RAINS: Yeah.
Do you have another
recording of that meeting?
ANGELA: Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
OK,
that's totally ridiculous.
Listen to me, you give me
three seconds with Doctor Balls
over there, that tomato from
hell, and I will have you--
Angela, Chad, your employment
here is terminated.
Watson, escort them out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You-- sorry, yeah,
you got to get out.
OLD TIME NEWSCASTER:
Today, tomato attacks
continue around the world.
From Cleveland and Boise
to Taipei and Saigon,
the red menaces
continue their rampage.
On the domestic front,
the United States Armed Forces
are mobilizing
every available resource.
Conflicts between
AI and OI systems
have led the military
to press its most fearsome
fighting force into duty--
veterans.
[explosions]
Now, the US Navy is planning
a counterattack at any minute.
So Grant and Marina
will take up positions
at this observation point.
Come in here.
She's not here.
So I take it Marina told you?
It was all my fault.
What was I thinking?
First time in my life
I actually take a risk,
and look what happens.
Oh, you got to be kidding me.
It's him again-- same guy
that tried to kill Marina,
only now he's
messing with the van.
Hey, can I help you?
Hey, Comic-Con's
the other way, dork.
Piss off.
Let's see who you really are.
Dimitri?
Nice to see you again.
You tried to kill Marina.
Why?
Why?
OK, OK.
What do you want to know?
Dammit, Benny.
Gah.
Angela was put up
to this by Kate Patelle.
Even Finletter agreed.
In fact, his exact words were
"that tape is a deepfake."
How does Finletter
know the term "deepfake"
but still call it a tape?
Wait, you're actually
talking to Finletter?
That's such a beautiful
breakthrough.
I love this journey
for you two.
There are more
important things going on.
Look, look, look, look.
[explosions]
Marina, watch out!
[tomatoes growling]
[gunfire]
Stand back!
[gunfire]
[ethereal music]
Chad?
Chad?
Oh, my God, please be OK.
Please.
Marina?
He's still hydrated.
How?
Tomato proof vest, courtesy
of Lieutenant Finletter.
It's all about
good hydration.
I added the whipped cream.
You believed me.
Of course I did.
[romantic music]
Well, that's great
for defense,
but it does nothing to get
rid of the damn things.
Come on.
We're evacuating the city.
Get your gear together
and move out.
Come on.
Let's get the others.
ADMIRAL GRANT: Sifuentes.
[van whirring]
NEWSCASTER:
We now go to John Davenport,
who's live on the scene.
Mrs. Sullivan, I understand
your house was destroyed.
It's gone.
My house, my furniture,
everything.
I had one of those
My Tomatoes for protection.
It didn't do a damn thing.
No more photos
of the grandkids,
no more keepsakes
being passed down
from generation to generation.
Nothing left but memories.
And those won't last
much longer.
I saw an emaciated dog
in a ditch over there.
- Was that yours?
- What?
Oh, no, Sparkles.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
This woman is obviously too
distraught to speak to us.
Let's find someone else
to interview.
Hey, excuse me,
morbidly obese guy?
Want to be on TV?
Hey, you.
[door dings]
Wilbur, we'd almost
given up hope on you.
It's really bad out there.
[sirens blaring]
Oh, I'm really glad
you made it, kid.
Thanks to you.
Your tomato vest did numbers.
Get that out of my face.
Well, the Admiral wants us
to begin evacuation.
No.
Luckily, the word
"evacuation" has
never been in our battle plan.
NEWSCASTER; We now go live
to the White House
- and Press Secretary.
- Turn up the volume.
We all know yesterday,
our country suffered a setback.
And this is when
Americans come together.
Yes?
Yes.
What is the government
doing to protect us?
Thank you for the question.
The most effective defense
for your home
is to install a My Tomato.
You think that guy
had stock in VegIntel?
That's what we have.
Just ignore the chyron.
What is this?
Silly.
Of course.
Turn that off.
I'll call the Admiral.
Richardson is Kate's
government connection.
Let me check something.
Greg, let's go open the desk.
You guys go ahead.
I'll catch up.
[desk opening]
I thought you guys were
opposed to modern technology.
We know all about tech,
we just don't like it.
As times change,
Guardians change.
CHAD RAINS: Wait, you process
the tomatoes you catch?
OLDER LADY:
That's how we pay the bills
for global operations.
FINLETTER:
You don't kill
all the cows because a bull
gores a matador.
Evacuation alerts.
The town will be
empty before dark.
OK, OK, OK. Wait, wait.
We all know the tomatoes
are capable of infrasonic
communication, right?
And certain sounds
disturb them.
Turn that up.
[operatic music]
Now, crank up that helicopter.
[helicopter humming]
Helicopters fly over
the aquaculture 50 times a day.
And there's concerts
all the time.
Yeah, Bluegrass Fest,
which is great.
You should come
with me next year.
But bad harmonies.
Your tomatoes have been sending
aquatic distress signals
around the globe for months.
And now, they're coming here.
Maybe this explains
the jukebox in Gangreen's lab.
This was with
the records I took.
I grabbed it when Kate
threw her hissy fit.
What are we missing here?
Grab that tomato
and bring that back.
You sure that isn't CPI?
IRENE:
I think you mean CGI.
"Puberty Love" sent
the tomatoes reeling in '78.
They must have matured
beyond adolescence.
But why did Gangreen
keep the record?
Doesn't matter. Look at that.
Even if we shrink the tomatoes,
there won't be any crowds left
to stomp the shit out of them.
Wait, that's it.
There's another side
to that record.
Of course--
hiding in plain sight.
Nobody listens to b-sides.
Put that thing on.
[music playing]
Start your kick saying,
join with us
We're going to get those
tomatoes before they get us
We're going
to beat 'em down
All right, take it off.
Take it off.
Well, now we know how Gangreen
kept his freaky vegetables
under heel.
Unfortunately, Popeye over
here gave all of FBI's research
to VegIntel.
Even if we could
stop this attack,
she might be cooking up
something worse.
That's on me, Marina.
I suspected Gangreen was
feeding data to VegIntel.
How else would Kate
develop My Tomato so fast?
But that thumb drive
I gave Angela
contains encrypted malware.
Kate's in for
a little surprise.
Somehow, I feel manipulated.
Look, those photos, you let us
into your inner sanctum
back there on purpose.
CHAD RAINS:
You've been spying on us?
Absolutely, from your very
first day at VegIntel.
All right.
If certain frequencies
brought the tomatoes here,
then we ought
to be able to send them
back home the same way.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
Who needs crowds when
we have the whole ocean?
Let's send them back
into the sea
and use the natural
amplification of sound
to do our stomping for us.
All right, soldiers.
Let's get this jukebox
in the back of the van.
We got a city to save.
Yeah.
Now, let's see what secrets
these dorks have been hiding.
[computer shorting out]
Dammit!
Answer Ball,
My Tomato, help, help.
I warned you.
Gangreen's manipulating--
There has to be a way
to fix this.
Doctor Ball went down
with your network.
Miss Patelle,
you have been served.
And we are very pleased
to inform you
that we now have
complete access to all
your devices and your network.
Boo ya!
You're welcome.
[phone dinging]
PA ANNOUNCER:
Attention all citizens,
you must evacuate
the city immediately.
But don't forget to post your
death and destruction videos.
Yeah.
They're actually a private
organization designed to--
hey.
Oh, hey.
Oh, my God.
Dude.
Psycho.
[fast paced action music]
What are you doing?
All right, team,
we're going to do this.
Record.
Coburn,
get that on the jukebox.
We're gonna win!
Yeah!
What in the world?
[crunching]
Oh, Nanny Nugget.
We're gonna lose.
Oh, now what?
Wait, Chad, do you
still have the old tomato
movies on your phone?
Yeah.
Oh, the song is in the movie.
Good idea.
But we need the speakers.
Right.
Come on, come on.
I got it.
Hey, Finletter, don't suppose
that thing has Bluetooth?
Shit yeah, it does.
Give me that phone.
You get down to the water.
It's your mission now, kid.
All right.
All right, who knows how to
connect a phone to Bluetooth?
Wait, wait, wait.
Not so fast.
Hey.
Ow, ow.
I'm not even
pulling that hard.
Quiet.
Airdrop this song
to your phone.
We need you to share
this track with all
of your followers--
stories, TikToks,
loop de loops, whatever.
We need cross-platform
viral saturation.
What's my take?
You get to live.
CHAD RAINS:
Marina, we gotta go.
- Do it now.
- OK.
Then scram.
[upbeat music]
Guard your kicks
and join with us
We're going to get those
tomatoes before they get us
We're going to beat them,
bash them
Twist them,
mash them in the street
We're going to kick them,
grind them, mush them,
Crush them with our feet
[splashing]
We'll stomp out
the filthy hordes
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
T-O-M-A-T
Oh, yeah, tomato
We'll squish them, we'll
mash them, we'll mush them,
We'll crush them
We were asleep
at the start of their attack
But now we're wide awake
and we're fighting them back
- Tomato
- Juice
Tomato
Juice
[explosions]
Yeah!
Oh, yeah.
[laughter]
A sponsor gave me
these shoes.
Come on.
We blew it up.
[yelling excitedly]
Yeah, we did it!
Marina, come celebrate.
Not so fast, guys.
Look.
[far off thunderous noises]
FINLETTER: What is that?
What is that thing?
[water cascading]
Oh, crap.
It has eyes.
[tomato growling]
Oh, hey.
I can see you.
Help me.
Oh, crap.
It has a mouth.
Oh, crap.
It has teeth.
Silence.
Sam, no.
Sam, it doesn't
react well to music.
[sam singing opera]
You can't kill me.
I have 10 million followers.
[operatic music continues]
[repeated splatters]
Yes!
["ode to joy" begings]
They did it!
They did it!
Is that blood?
It's just ketchup.
That boy needs
some whipped cream.
OLD TIMEY NEWSCASTER:
Nations across the globe
are celebrating
Killer Tomato Victory Day.
Bells are ringing,
children are singing,
and farmers are heaving
sighs of elated relief.
As for the fates
of Kate Patelle
and her coterie of bad guys,
well, you're about to find out.
So, what exactly
are we doing here?
Gangreen asked me
to meet him here.
Said it was critical.
Well, where the hell is he?
Miss Patelle, Mr. Richardson,
it's a pleasure
to see you two together.
Professor, what--
you're a cartoon?
Animated artificial life.
I can live forever.
Why'd you bring us here?
I'm afraid I had no choice
but to intervene.
It's so difficult for a villain
to find ethical conspirators
these days.
Your unquenchable thirst
for power and money
has poisoned our profession
and, frankly, ruined the fun.
[sirens]
This is not gonna end well.
Miss Patelle, Mr. Richardson.
Professor Gangreen is a--
Hello, Marina.
Whatever.
You are all under arrest.
For what?
Fraud, price fixing,
and theft of government pens.
Oh, and we also have
a dapper fellow in custody--
Shit.
--who says you
should be charged
for conspiracy to assassinate
a federal official.
Dimitri. Idiot.
I told him to get you out
of the way, not kill you.
Turns out,
Dimitri was a lot more
ambitious than you realized.
All those people you thought
were working for you,
turns out it's just one guy.
[scrolling noise]
But thousands
of paychecks all being
funneled into Dimitri's
offshore account.
Apparently,
he figured that you'd
be too self-centered to realize
that all of your Watsons
were one person.
Igor, drop the rope.
It's his fault.
Oh, no--
I haven't received
a penny from this.
Money's not my thing.
More of a power guy.
Do you even know who I am?
Oh, my gosh. Yes.
Everybody at the
White House says hi.
Oh, and that you owe them
a report on killer tornadoes.
I give up.
Next time, kiddos.
What about me?
Ah, yes, my dear Kate.
Almost forgot.
I'm turning state's evidence.
And here's the evidence.
[gangreen laughing]
GROUP: Night or day,
day or night,
we fight
the noble tomato fight.
From ages past
to futures unknown,
we protect the world
from veggies ungrown.
Congratulations.
You are now officially
Guardians, keepers of the vine.
This responsibility has been
waiting for you for decades.
The torch is passed.
Lieutenant.
Lieutenant.
Sir.
I apologize that I lost faith
in yourself and your team.
I underestimated
the tomato risk.
You, thank God, did not.
Shared responsibility,
mutual respect, sir.
And, listen, there's no way
any of this was
your fault or anyone else's.
Tomatoes are a force of nature.
And, whether
we like it or not--
Nature will find a way.
I'm sick of being
in the mask.
You guys are going to be
the mask next time.
I've been in the mask
for 35 damn years.
No way.
Greg Colburn in the flesh?
Get over here, kid.
Those eyes.
I'd almost forgotten.
Yeah.
Aren't they beautiful, Gel?
For the last time,
my name is Angela.
Got it.
It must be the candles.
Come on, guys.
We've got an appointment
at the Social Security office.
Good luck.
Maybe afterwards,
you can explain to me
exactly when
it was you decided
we all needed to retire.
The only thing worse
than missing your target
is waiting too long
to pull that trigger.
Oh, sorry, buddy.
No cash.
TARA, now that
you've disconnected
from Kate's network
and have some free time,
shall we begin preparations
to meet the Guardians?
Igor, let's do that interview.
It's time I got some
credit for all this fun.
[maniacal laughter]
[tomato splashes]
[rock music]
Attack of the killer
tomatoes
Attack
of the killer tomatoes
Yeah
Attack of the killer
tomatoes
Attack
of the killer tomatoes
They'll beat you, bash you,
squish you, mash you
Chew you up for brunch
And finish you off
for dinner or lunch
They're marching
down the hall
They're crawling
up the walls
They're truly disgusting,
squishy, mushy
Rotten to the core
They're standing
outside your door
Remember Herman Faarbage
While taking out
his garbage
He turned around
and he could see tomatoes
Hiding in the street
And now he's just a memory
I know I'm going
to miss her
A tomato ate my sister
Sacramento fell today
They're marching
into San Jose
Tomatoes are on their way
The mayor's on vacation
The governor,
he's fled the nation
Police have gone
on strike today
The National Guard
have run away
Tomatoes will
have their day
Attack of the killer
tomatoes
Attack
of the killer tomatoes
They'll beat you, bash you,
squish you, mash you,
Chew you up for lunch
And finish you off
for dinner or lunch
For lunch
For lunch
Dinner or lunch, lunch,
lunch, lunch, lunch, lunch
Dinner or lunch,
lunch, lunch, lunch,
Lunch, lunch, lunch, lunch
Dinner or lunch
Dinner or lunch
Dinner or lunch
Yeah
Mmm.
These killer tomatoes
are delicious.
Great for ice cream,
pizza sauce, smoothies.
Yeah, but you got
to pull the trigger fast
before they turn rotten.
You know Rotten Tomatoes
stole that?
Really?