Babe: Pig in the City (1998) Movie Script

[ Marching Band ] [ Shouting, Cheering ]
[ Narrator ] The first hazard for the returning hero...
is his fame.
The adulation can spin you quite giddy.
Those who once dismissed you as a lousy pork chop...
now clamor just to be in your presence.
[ Boy ] Sir! Sir!
Look, sir, look! Look! Up in the sky!
[ Boy ] Look up there!
[ Snorting ]
Excuse me. Mr. Hoggett. Mr. Hoggett, sir.
Mr. Hoggett, sir. Your pig.
If you'd just hold the pig up for the press.
Look this way!
This way! One more! Show us the pig!
[ Narrator ] The deeds of the farmer and his remarkable pig...
became renowned even in distant lands.
[ Snort ]
...find the time to apply for all these...
Invitations came from all over to open fairs,
to demonstrate sheepherding... Oh! More? [ Giggling ]
and, indeed, to meet a queen.
Ooh. But Arthur Hoggett was a retiring man.
He found his best pleasures working his farm.
[ Mrs. Hoggett ] I'll need a neighbor to help me.
So it was, one morning he set out to repair the water pump...
and Babe somehow got it into his head that he could help.
But fate turns on a moment, dear ones,
and the pig was about to learn the meaning of those two cruel words of regret:
"if only."
If only he hadn't been so careless; W-Whoa!
if only the weight of the pig and the pump did not exceed the weight of the farmer;
if only the farmer did not connect with the platform on the way up...
or jam his fingers at the top;
[ Babe Groaning ]
if only the pump hadn't fallen off at the bottom;
and if only the poor farmer had the presence of mind...
to hold on to the rope.
Boss?
Boss!
[ Moos ] [ Clucking ]
[ Hoggett Groaning ]
[ Growling ]
[ Babe Snorting ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Snorting Quizzically ]
[ Snorting Happily ]
[ Narrator ] At no other time in his short life...
had the pig wished more that his words could be understood by humans,
if only to say, "Sorry, Boss."
[ Whispers ] Sorry, Boss.
[ Mice ] Non, rien de rien
Non je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien
Qu'on m'a fait
Ni le mal
Tout ca m'est bien egal
- Non, rien de rien - [ Grunting ]
[ Narrator ] Even before her Arthur's misfortune,
Mrs. Hoggett was ceaselessly busy...
bustling, baking, bottling and pickling,
but now, having to nurse her husband and pay the bills,
she found life considerably more challenging than she had ever anticipated.
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
Before long, two men showed up.
Two men in suits.
Men with pale faces and soulless eyes.
Such men could have come from only one place: the bank.
[ Thunder Crashes ]
[ Dogs Barking ] Arthur!
Arthur! [ Barking Continues ]
[ Muttering ] Where is it? Where is it?
Where is it?
[ Gasps ] Yes.
"Dear Mr. Arthur Hoggett...
[ Muttering ] "...guest appearance for your pig.
[ Continues Muttering ] ...sheepherding demonstration."
Sheepherding demonstration?
"Free air travel, accommodations...
and a generous appearance fee."
Oh! Arthur! Arthur! A generous appearance fee!
Look! See? See?
Pig! Pig! Pig, pig, pig! Pig!
Pig, pig, pig. Pig? Pig, pig, pig!
[ Mrs. Hoggett ] Pig! Pig, pig, pig!
Come, dear. You're being called.
[ Mrs. Hoggett ] Pig! Uh, he's not here.
Pig, pig, pig, pig! Babe.
[ Babe ] Babe's not here.
You can't undo what's happened, son, but you can make up for it.
Babe, the boss is about to lose the farm.
We'll all be sent away. And there's no telling where we'll end up.
[ Horse ] Not every human is as kind as ours.
But what can I do? Nothing!
You're a sheep-pig. A champion, no less.
[ Mrs. Hoggett ] Pig! Most likely they'll want you to herd sheep.
You can't leave. He can't leave! You're my lucky pig.
[ Angrily ] Pig!
Pig!
Arthur! You call the wretched thing.
Come, pig!
[ Hoggett Whistles ]
Well, I must be off, then.
You won't be alone, dear. You'll be with the boss's wife.
Oh, sure, the boss's wife. You'll be in the company of a serial killer.
Do not take counsel of your fears, lad.
Do you want to pee before you go? Uh, no, thank you.
Come on. Come on, pig.
[ Ferdinand ] B-B-But I need this pig.
He's my lucky pig, my good luck pig.
W-W-Without him, I-I'm dead.
Deceased! Lifeless! Extinct! A demised duck!
In you go.
Can you come with me, Fly?
I wish I could, dear, but it's you they want.
Please? Stop it, now. You're a brave pig.
And, Babe, more often than not in this uncertain world,
fortune favors the brave.
Porridge in the morning. No sugar. Just a little bit of salt, but not too much.
Tea. No milk, just lemon.
Okay, I think that's everything.
Right. I'm off.
Esme?
Don't worry, Arthur. I won't let anything happen to your pig.
Arthur.
[ Giggling, Grunting ]
[ Narrator ] And so, dear ones,
the pig and the farmer's wife...
ventured into the larger world.
What follows is an account of their calamitous adventures...
and how a kind and steady heart...
can mend a sorry world.
[ Together ] Save the farm, Babe!
Save the farm!
Save the f-a-a-a-a-a-rm!
[ Reading ]
[ Engine Roaring ]
[ Babe ] La la la
La-la la la-la
La la la la-la, la-la
La la la la-la-la Hey!
[ Stewardess On P.A. Speaking French ]
[ Stewardess Continues Speaking French ]
Ohh!
[ Chuckling Nervously ]
Stop. Stop! [ Quacking ]
Whoa-oa!
[ Panting, Huffing ]
[ Male Singer ] Pardon me, boy Huh?
Is that the Chattanooga choo choo?
[ Chorus ] Yes, yes Track 29!
Uh, pardon me, boys. [ Continues ]
Yeah?
Uh, see that fat, featherless flying thing? Uh-huh.
Any idea where it's headed? Follow us.
[ Panting ] Oh, good. Follow them.
Okay. [ Chorus ] Chattanooga, there you are
[ Male Singer ] She's gonna cry
Until I tell her that I'll never roam
So, Chattanooga choo choo Doodle-oo dee-doo, doo-doo-doo
Won't you choo-choo me home? Doodley-doo
Chattanooga, Chattanooga Doo-doo-dee-deedle doo-dee
Get aboard Chattanooga Chattanooga
All aboard Dee-doodle Chattanoogie-doodie-doo-doo
Ohh-ohh-- Whoa!
[ Sniffing ]
U-Um-- Um--
[ Sniffing ] Uh-- Uh, excuse me.
Excuse me, but I was wondering-- Hey, look, pal, I'm busy.
Uh, well, I seem to have lost my human. Hey, hey, I'm workin' here.
Capisce? Comprende?
Whoa. Ain't you a weird-lookin' puppy.
I'm not a puppy. I'm a sheep-pig.
My human's gone, and I'm hungry, and I'm supposed to save the farm.
Yeah, that's truly tragic, but you see that long line of stuff over there?
And all those piles yonder? You see 'em? Yes.
Well, I gotta sniff every doggone one of 'em. I'm a sniffer, ya see.
A fully-qualified, triple-certificated sniffer. Oh.
It's all in the hooter, the schnoz, the olfactory instrument.
You could be a sniffer with a schnoz like that. That's very kind of you, but--
Don't interrupt me now. I'm just gettin' to the good part.
-When you sniff the right smell, do ya know what happens? -Mm-mmm.
You jump up and down and go berserk. That's what happens.
You should see the humans come runnin'. They do? Why?
Beats me, but it's sure important. I get big rewards.
Rewards? Sure. My heart's desire. Watch this.
[ Barking ]
[ Shouting ] [ Man On P.A. ] Security guard, to the floor!
[ Barking Continues ] Security guard, come to the floor!
We got one.
[ Barking Continues ]
[ Man #1 ] She could be my mother.
[ Man #2 ] Creepy, isn't it?
Esme Cordelia Hoggett?
Oh. Thank heaven.
My pig hasn't come through, and I've only got 15 minutes to make Flight FF-115.
I've got to get to the other terminal,
but there's no point me going without the blessed pig.
Ma'am, we have the pig. Oh. Let's get a wriggle on, then.
Oh. If we miss FF-115, then we won't make the 4:15 shuttle.
And if we don't make the 4:15 shuttle, we won't make it in time for the fair.
It's the grandaddy of all state fairs, they say, and today's the very last day.
It'll all be over and we won't get the appearance money,
and if we don't get the money the bank won't take, "Sorry, I missed my flight" for an answer.
That'll be it. All over. Arrivederci, farm.
Poor Arthur would be utterly...
devastated. [ Grunts ]
[ Gasps ]
Esme Cordelia Hoggett,
we have reason to believe you may be carrying illegal substances on your person.
Being an officer of the Drug Enforcement Agency,
I am authorized by law to conduct certain... procedures.
Please step into the cubicle and remove your clothes.
Pardon?
[ Babe Grunting ]
[ Narrator ] Of course, it was proved beyond any doubt...
that Esme Cordelia Hoggett was not a felon.
But, sadly, they had missed their all-important connection,
and to make matters worse...
they were obliged to wait some days for the next flight home.
They couldn't go forward, and they couldn't go back.
They were stranded. [ Gulps ]
[ Snorts ]
[ Sniffs, Snorts ]
A-And so, you don't take pets.
But he's just a little pig.
Well, it's more of a dog, really.
But it's practically human!
[ Jet Engine Roaring ]
[ Humming Lullaby ] [ Babe Snorting ]
[ Continues ]
[ Stops ]
Uh-huh? [ Snorts ]
Scram, lady.
This is not a farm.
[ Whimpers ]
[ P.A. Announcer, Indistinct ]
[ Man ] Excuse me.
Flealands Hotel, a few blocks south.
You'll be welcome there.
[ Narrator ] Esme Hoggett studied the face of the stranger...
Thank you.
and wondered what could have provoked his unexpected act of kindness.
[ Mice ] When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine
Like you've had too much wine
That's amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you sing vita bella
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella
[ Reading ]
Oh. I need a room for myself...
and, uh, the, uh, wee pig.
Huh?
Are you crazy? Animals in here?
What makes you think we take animals? Oh, but I--
What kind of an establishment do you think this is? Well, it isn't.
Am I aware of the city codes and regulations? Yes.
Am I one to break the law? Absolutely not. I am very lawful.
Are you hearing-impaired? Go away!
[ Jet Engine Roars Overhead ]
Psst!
Psst!
Hmm?
How long did you want to stay? I, uh-- Two days.
Will an attic room do? Uh-- Well, I thought you--
That was just for the neighbors. Heartless meanies.
Where do they expect these poor creatures to go?
Is he house-trained? Oh, yes. Just like you and me.
Do we provide meals? No.
But is there a convenience store? Yes. Two blocks south.
And what is the golden rule? Never answer the front door.
Why? It might be an inspector.
Mind that step.
What happens if you need anything? [ Animal Shrieks ]
You knock on this door on the left.
Who lives there? I do.
Where's the bathroom? End of the landing.
Do we provide towels? [ Sniffing ]
What is that, a canine? Huh? You canine? Little puppy dog?
Flealick, come back. We don't know where it's been.
Do we, Alan? No, Nigel.
Feline. You're a cat? Do I look like a cat?
How do I know? I got myopia. I can barely see. If you're a cat, you gotta scat.
Hey! Kitty! You got no business being on this floor!
You got that? No felines on this floor. Period!
Where's the pay phone? In the foyer.
Local calls only.
And where does the little piggy stay at all times?
In the room.
[ Scales ] Meow, meow, meow, meow Meow, meow, meow
And where does the dear little fella do his necessaries?
In the kitty litter.
Who empties it?
You do. Any questions?
Oh. Where do I make a long-distance phone call?
Oh, uh, two blocks south. Mm-hmm.
[ Sighs ]
[ Grunting ]
Oh.
Stay, pig.
Stay.
[ Bell Tolling ] [ Ship's Horn Blowing ]
[ Narrator ] Babe looked out across this vast habitat,
abundant with humans and other creatures,
and wondered when he would see his first sheep.
Then the thought occurred to him:
Maybe it wasn't sheepherding.
Maybe something else was required of him.
Whatever the case,
in this place with its dark corners and endless possibilities,
the pig felt sure he would find a way to redeem himself.
Aww.
[ Grunts ]
Can-- Uh, can I help you?
What are you doing?
[ Babbling ] [ Mice Squeaking ]
I beg your pardon?
H-Hey. Uh, w-wait a minute.
But--
Uh, that belongs to the boss's wife.
Hey, that-- Come back!
Uh, hey!
[ Babbling Continues ]
Wait up!
Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh, yeah!
Whoa. If you're not a cat, stay and chat. Sorry.
We don't get out much on account of Nig and Al and their nerves. They're a little nervous.
Me, on account of the hips. Well, don't be a stranger. It was--
Open up, please.
O-Open this door!
You got a problem, sweetie?
Uh-- I-- [ Male Voice ] Who is it, honey?
It's, uh, kind of a baldy, pinky, whitey thingy.
Show 'im in.
[ TV: Announcer, Indistinct ]
I'd like the bag back, please.
[ Whimpering, Babbling ]
Hey, pinkness, look at the little guy.
You wanna break his heart?
But-But it doesn't belong to him.
All I know is what I see:
Tug comes in with the bag, just doin' his job, collectin' stuff,
and you barge in here "accusicating" and making "demandments."
I didn't see you with the bag.
Who's to say it belongs to you?
I'm not leaving without the bag.
I don't think my big brother, Bob Bobalooba, the Big Banana,
is "mis-splaining" how things work around here.
Well, I have to warn you:
I may be small, but I can be ferocious if provoked.
And what have we here?
Well, uh, we're in a negotiation...
with this naked, pink individual.
[ Female Chimp ] He's of foreign extraction, Your Honor.
Possibly even an alien.
[ Orangutan ] You drooling imbeciles.
This is an omnivorous mammal of the order Ungulata,
an inconsequential species with no other purpose...
than to be eaten by humans.
This lowly, handless, deeply unattractive mud-lover...
is a pig.
- Oh. - For your information,
I'm a sheep-pig, and I've been sent to save the farm.
Come to think of it, I should be saving the farm right now.
A-And if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
So, will this little pink "lunchness"...
fulfill his destiny, nourishmentally speaking?
We shall see.
I feel very uncomfortable with this conversation.
I want my bag back. Get out of my way!
[ Door Slams ]
[ Wheezing ]
[ Snorts ] [ Landlady ] Uncle Fugly!
Uncle Fugly!
[ Grunting ]
[ Wheezing ] [ Squealing ]
[ Landlady ] Uncle Fugly!
Huh? [ Thumping ]
Please let me out. Uncle Fugly!
There's been a theft upstairs.
Can you imagine? [ Grunting ]
Esme Hoggett, Fugly Floom.
Uncle Fugly, Esme Hoggett.
Perhaps we should call the police. No, no. No police.
No authorities. It would be the end of this place. Surely you understand.
Oh, dear. I just phoned my Arthur to tell him that at least his pig was safe.
Now, on top of everything else-- Hey! That's my human!
Remember, you can't find your clothes. I don't care about clothes.
But the pig-- I can't go home without the pig.
[ Muttering Incoherently ] [ Jet Engine Roaring Overhead ]
- [ Muttering Continues ] - Did you get that?
Approximately five minutes ago something that looked like a pig exited this establishment.
Where did he go? Left on Canal Street, then in the direction of the beach.
Okay. Thank you.
[ Moans ]
Meow
Meow, meow What's that?
It's beautiful.
Oh, it's lovely.
Meow, meow
[ Giggling ]
[ Swooning ] Ohh!
They all ran after the farmer's wife
She cut off their tails with a carving knife
Did you ever see such a sight in your life
As three blind mice? [ Squeaking, Screaming ]
[ Continues, Ends ]
[ Reading ]
Pig!
Pig!
Pi-ig!
[ Techno Dance ] Here, pig-pig-pig-pig-piggy!
Here, pig-pig-pig-pig!
[ Sternly ] Pig! Pig!
Pig!
Pig!
Here, pig-pig-pig-pig-piggy!
Who you callin' a pig, lady?
Not you. An-Another pig.
M-My husband's pig. Y-You know-- What's in the bag?
Give it here! [ Grunting ]
Aaaaah!
[ Shouting, Screaming ]
Whoa!
Ohh!
Oh, dear. Ohh!
[ Circus ] [ Children Laughing, Shouting ]
[ Children Laughing ]
[ Snorting ]
[ Narrator ] Show business may not be as honorable a profession as sheepherding,
but the pig was willing to endure the ridicule...
if it would help put things right back at Hoggett Hollow.
And the animals had told him if all went well,
there would be big rewards.
Uh, h-hey, so, when do I get paid? Shh!
[ Applause ]
[ Drumroll ]
[ Children Squealing, Screaming ]
[ Cheering, Laughing ]
Sir, I gotta get going now. How do I collect my reward?
I told you, stay under the table.
Yep. Okay, uh-- Uh--
[ Babe Grunting, Yelling ]
[ Female Singer ] Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien
Qu'on m'a fait [ Whimpering ]
Ni le mal
Tout ca m'est bien egal
Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
C'est paye
Balaye
[ Continues ] Take your hands off me!
Oh-- Oh-- Ohh! It's a mistake! I'm a grandmother!
Somebody help, please! Call Farmer Hoggett!
Okay, freak show's over! Finished! Come on!
Help! Help! [ Siren Wailing ]
[ Reading ]
Just tell me.
There is no reward, is there?
Was there ever such a thing?
Oh, little pink thingy, this is the city.
As Bob always says-- What do you say, Bob?
It's all illusory-- It's ill, and it's for losers.
Naw, that wasn't it.
[ Burps ] You know, that stuff about no yesterday and no tomorrow.
All you got is this actual "now-ness."
The past is gone, and as for the future-- [ Blows Raspberry ]
Yeah. No guarantees, my little pork pie.
It's a dog-eat-dog world and there's not enough dog to go around.
So you look after number whatsy.
Get my drift? I'm not a pork pie.
Whatever you say, cutie pie.
I'm not any kind of pie. I'm just a pig on a mission.
[ Mice Singing ]
[ Narrator ] It's tough if you're a pig alone in the city.
It can leave you empty.
And whom do you turn to?
Where was the boss's wife?
He thought it might help if he could recall Fly and Rex and their steadfast words,
and he tried really hard,
but he could barely remember the face of his beloved boss.
The farm was fading.
It had become just a comforting dream,
an echo.
[ Continues ]
Is your heart filled with pain?
Shall I come back again?
Tell me, dear
Are you lonesome
Tonight?
Whoo-ooh-hoo-hoo Whoo-oooh
[ Thud ] Huh?
[ Squeaking, Thudding Continues ]
[ Heart Monitor Beeping ]
[ Beeping Continues ]
[ Wheezing ]
[ Whimpers ]
[ Door Closes ]
[ Ambulance Siren Wailing ]
Are we okay, Thelonius?
Thelonius?
I couldn't wake him. I tried.
But he wouldn't wake up.
He'll be back.
Himself always comes back.
Thelonius?
Easy. Let him be.
[ Ferdinand ] Let's see.
Mm-hmm.
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Uh, this looks good.
[ Groans ]
Yeah, just drop me off, uh-- Yeah, right here'll be fine.
[ Regurgitating Noise ] Uh, thanks for the ride, pal.
I just hope you get that operation for your wing. Yeah, right, uh-huh.
I mean, not being able to fly long distances,
on top of the amount of family tragedies you've suffered--
Oh, my gosh! Yeah, yeah. Don't sweat it. See ya.
Farewell, noble duck.
[ Ferdinand ] Okeydokey, you are cleared for landing.
Here we go. Flaps down-- Ohh!
Perfect.
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
Hmm-- Huh? [ Chuckles ] H-Hey!
[ Gunfire ] Huh? Huh?
[ Groaning, Yelling ]
Whoa!
[ Ferdinand Screaming ]
[ Pigeons Cooing ] [ Shuddering ]
[ Whimpering ] Pig.
Pig.
[ Reading ]
[ Narrator ] By nightfall, all Babe's concerns, [ Moaning ]
all the troubled voices in his head were drowned out by one insistent moan.
[ Rumbling, Roiling ] [ Deep, Gravelly Voice ] Food.
The fact is, Babe's belly was making such a fuss...
he began to believe it was talking to him.
[ Deep, Gravelly Voice ] Food! Huh?
[ Bob ] Anybody got any food?
Anybody?
Hey, dogs, you got any edibles, any nibbly-dibblies?
[ Flealick ] We got a carpet here with some nice spaghetti stains.
But we can't keep licking the carpet, can we, Alan? No, Nigel.
Hey, cats! Cats!
What about you?
[ Cat Choir ] No, no, no, no food No food, no food
No food, no food We have no food
Well, then, I'm gonna get "proactivated."
I know where there's food a-plentiful.
We're goin' outside? Without a human?
Could be kinda dangerous, you know, in a lethally sort of way.
We'll stick to the shadows, honey.
It's coolness.
[ Door Opens ]
[ Door Closes ]
Hey. Hey, w-w-wait! Wait a minute!
Where's the food? I have to eat!
[ Whispering ] Hey, keep your voice down.
[ Whispering ] I'll do anything, absolutely anything.
Eh, go "porkinate."
What can you do? You don't even have any hands.
What can I do? Uh, lots.
Yeah, right.
Uh, sheep! I can herd sheep!
Go home, sweetie. You're making a spectacle of yourself.
Wait a momentum.
I'm thinking I might have some of those sheep for him to herd.
You do? Uh-huh. I'll show ya.
Right here, behind the Food-O-Rama,
is where they keep the sheep.
I'm gonna open this hole.
Open Sez-a-Bob.
They're in there.
Border Leicester or Scottish Blackface?
Pit bull and a Doberman Pinscher. Very exotic breeds.
Uh, where do you want me to herd them?
That's up to you. Just keep them occupied till we get the necessaries.
Okeydokey.
Hello?
Hello?
A-Anybody home?
[ Loud Snarling ]
Uh, anybody else?
You must have a very thin grasp on reality.
Unless, of course, you are suicidal.
Uh, I-I'm just looking...
for some sheep.
I warned you.
Aaah! [ Barking ]
[ Barking Continues ] Baa, ram, ewe!
Baa, ram, ewe!
To your breed, your fleece, to your clan be true!
Baa, ram, ewe!
[ Barking Continues ] [ Bob ] Down here, honey.
Take care, now.
[ Whimpers ]
[ Snarling, Barking ]
I'll head him off!
[ Snarling ]
Let me in!
Please! Somebody!
Let me in! [ Chittering ]
Let me in!
Open the door!
[ Whimpering ]
[ Man ] Darling, don't get yourself in a state.
It's not my imagination. Something is going on in that place.
Hortense, you'll miss the aria!
[ Opera ] Hortense!
Hmph!
Aah!
I'm gonna catch me! I'm gonna catch me!
[ All Murmuring ]
[ Cats Yowling, Hissing ]
[ Whimpering ]
[ Panting ]
Aaah!
[ Barking, Snarling ]
Whoa-ohh! [ Panting ]
[ Narrator ] Something broke through the terror--
flickerings, fragments of his short life,
the random events that delivered him to this,
his moment of annihilation.
As terror gave way to exhaustion,
Babe turned to his attacker, his eyes filled with one simple question:
Why?
Aaah!
[ Gasping ] [ Snarling ]
[ Groaning ]
This is what happens, Alan, on the outside.
It's the times, Nigel.
[ Metal Clanking ]
Honey, come away.
[ Hoofbeats Running ]
[ Splashes ]
[ Murmuring, Yipping ]
[ Gasping, Coughing ]
Please, someone, give us a hand!
[ Coughing, Gasping Continue ]
[ Babe ] Please!
[ Chittering ]
[ Chittering Continues ] [ Pitbull Wheezing ]
[ Female Voice ] Kind sir? Kind sir?
Can you help me?
I have been cruelly cast out and have nowhere to go.
Oh, b-but how? Please. Please.
I know you're different from the others.
Those that have had their way with me make their empty promises,
but they're all lies-- lies.
But, uh-- I'm cold.
And I'm afraid and terribly, terribly tired.
- Where's your human? - M-My humans belong to someone else now.
Someone younger and prettier.
I, uh-- I-I never, ever had a h-h-human.
I'm hungry.
My human tied me in a bag and throwed me in the water.
My tummy hurts.
Try not to think about it.
Take pity on us.
We are the excluded and have nowhere to go.
Well, uh, it is nice and warm inside.
- Not a good idea. - Oh, but they--
No. No. "No-ness."
Uh, could that be food?
Oh, have mercy. [ Excited Murmuring, Chattering ]
[ Thelonius ] Quiet.
Quiet!
You'll bring all manner of trouble.
Uh, perhaps if we all went inside and we all line up,
I'm sure there'll be enough to go around.
You're talkin' as if you're the word around here.
- I'd say he is. - [ Gasping, Murmuring ]
I'd like to offer up a solution...
that I feel confident you'll all respond to:
Whatever the pig says goes.
Anyone hostile to the notion?
No! No, no! No problem! Whatever the pig says, yeah!
Anybody else?
Fine by moi.
Anybody else else?
It's still just a pig.
[ Window Hinges Squeak Open ]
Well, fluff my fur.
This recalls the glory days...
when I was dizzy with privilege.
I had my hair styled and my nails manicured each and every day.
Freeloaders. Riffraff with no manners.
They'll soil willy-nilly, won't they, Alan?
Willy-nilly, Nigel.
Hey. Swine. I want you to have this collar.
[ Chittering ] Um...
that's not necessary.
Yes, it is. Uh, you're very kind, but--
No, no, I'm anything but kind.
In fact, I have a professional obligation to be malicious.
Then you should change jobs.
I can't. Yes, you can.
No, no, it's in the bloodline, you see. We were once warriors.
Now there's just the urge.
A murderous shadow lies hard across my soul.
So... [ Sighs ]
should I have let you drown? Most would have.
Pig, if you were to wear my collar, it would honor me.
Yeah.
[ Rattling Noise ]
[ Pitbull ] Thank the pig.
[ Old Dog ] Thank you, pig. [ Babe ] You're welcome.
[ Pitbull ] Thank the pig.
[ Female Dog ] Thank you, pig.
[ Babe ] You're welcome.
[ Pitbull ] Thank the pig.
[ Male Dog ] Thank you, pig.
[ Babe ] You're awfully welcome.
[ Rattling Noise ]
Thank the pig. Thank you, pig.
You're welcome.
Thank you, pig. You're welcome.
[ Pitbull ] Thank the pig.
Thank you, little thingy. You're welcome.
[ Rattling Noise ] Here.
Thank the pig.
Hey! You!
Thanks.
And some for you.
Thank you,
Your Honor.
[ Chattering ] [ Pitbull ] Thank the pig.
[ Squeaking ] Thank you. Oh, thank you, pig.
Thank the pig. [ Poodle ] Thank you, pig.
[ Fish ] Thank you, Thelonius.
[ Pitbull ] Okay, folks, cafeteria closed!
I'm still hungry.
A couple of jelly beans don't even hit the bottom.
- If only there weren't so many of those cats. - Will someone slap the dog?
- Watch it, pussy! - Hey!
- Shove it, butt-sniffer! - [ Animals Murmuring, Yelling ]
Listen-- Hey!
The chief has somethin' to say.
Um, well,
uh, maybe cats and dogs...
could, um, you know, be nicer to each other.
Right.
It is decreed that all cats and dogs...
put aside their instinctive and fanatical abhorrence of each other...
and that hereafter all creatures, great and diminutive,
shall be of equal stature,
with rights to liberty and justice...
That nobody can deny
And so say all of us.
[ Kitty ] I'm still hungry.
My tummy--
it feels all... thingy.
I know, honey.
We did all the work. We should get the biggest share.
No, honey. Here. [ Moans ]
What? Mmm.
What's wrong?
[ Sighs ] Um...
Nothin'. [ Chuckles ]
[ Narrator ] And so, dear ones, this topsy-turvy night...
was to end with a beginning.
[ Sighs ]
[ Reading ]
[ Narrator ] This event, that weaves a thread from past to future,
soothed the tired hearts of those assembled...
and, for a while at least,
they put aside their uncertainties.
[ Cooing ]
I'm an uncle.
Twice.
[ Cooing Continues ]
Who's like us?
Darn few. Darn few.
Yeah.
Darn few.
- [ Poodle ] Well done! - Congratulations, Mom.
Look at that little face.
- They're so cute. Look at that. - They got their father's ears.
[ Female Dog ] I just wanna lick 'em all over their little faces.
On behalf of us all, I'm sure the chief...
would like to, uh,
extend a special welcome,
so, uh, listen up!
Well, uh, I-- Hmm.
Ahem.
I-I-If I had
Words
I'd sing a day for you
[ Singing Along ] La la la la la-la I'd sing you a morning
[ Singing Along ] La-la la la Golden and true
[ All ] La la la la
La la la la la
La-la la la-la Blah-blah Blah blah-blah
La-la-la la la Blah-blah-blah Blah blah
[ All Continue ] La la la la La la la la la-la
Huh? Hmm.
La la la la la-la La-la la la
Pig. Pig!
[ Animals Yipping, Howling ] [ Continues, Triumphant ]
Oh, God, Roger, the place is teeming.
Overrun with filthy animals.
It's a zoo!
[ Tempo Increases ] La la la la La la la la la-la
La la la la la-la La-la la la
[ Quacking, Grunting ]
[ Continues ] Ohh! Ferdinand!
[ Quacking Continues ]
Hey. Hey, pig! Pig, where you goin'?
[ Triumphant Finale ] La la la-a-a-a-a
Oh-oh-oh-ohh! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[ Laughing ]
Oh, Ferdy! Give us a peck! Come on, pig!
Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. Oooh! [ Laughing ]
Who are these losers? Ferdy!
What's going on here? You look different.
Yeah, well, this place can really take it out of ya. Tell me about it.
But hey, I'm with my pig. My lucky, lucky pig!
Little ol' Ferdy,
snug and safe at last.
Aaah!
Man! It's gonna be a real busy night.
[ Cats Meowing, Dogs Whining ] I'll check upstairs.
[ Barking ] [ Meowing, Whining Continue ]
- [ Chittering ] - [ Nigel ] My word!
There's no one home!
Come on. Come on.
[ Whistling ]
Ooh! Well, bite my tail.
[ Whistling ]
Doll, don't go there. Mm-mmm.
Good girl.
Oh, that's my pretty girl, yeah.
Pig, let's go home.
[ Yowling ]
[ Man Shouts ] Pick up some more cages!
[ Yowling, Barking Continue ]
[ Snarling ]
Over here.
- Now! - [ Whimpering ]
- [ Shrieking ] - [ Men Groaning ]
[ Man ] Careful now.
Pig? Pig! Huh? Huh?
Okay, you're gonna be all right.
You got him? Easy.
[ Grunting ]
[ Man ] Hey, fetch another cage!
[ Men Continue Chattering ]
Come on, Zootie.
[ Walkman: Jazz ]
Okay, now. Okay.
You got him? You got him?
Reel him in. Pull him in, pull him in. Come on, you got him.
[ Walkman ] Peep, peep said the chick in the barnyard
Quack, quack, said the duck Won't you let me in?
Cluck, cluck, cluck said the little red hen Let's boogie in the barnyard
Baa baa, said the sheep from another hole
Moo moo, said the cow Let the butter roll
Cluck cluck said the little red hen Let's boogie in the barnyard
Yes, the barnyard's jumpin'
[ Ferdinand Muttering, Squawking ]
Everybody's havin' their fling
[ Woman ] Okay.
Net. [ Grunting ] [ Zootie Shrieking ]
[ Ferdinand Sneezes ]
Are-- Are there any cats in here?
Cats? Absolutely not. No cat would dare come in here.
But I'm allergic to ca-- to ca--
[ Sneezes ]
[ Cats Complaining, Yowling ] [ Cat ] For crying out loud!
Oh! Got you! Hey! Hey! [ Growling ]
Good heavens! His heart condition!
He'll kill himself, won't he, Alan?
Yes, Nigel.
Flealick! Flealick! Flealick!
See any more? No, that does it.
Hey, get a load of this.
Go.
[ Yowls ]
Think we can get out of here without either one of us getting hurt?
How about you cooperate with me?
[ Gasping ] [ Mice ] Do something!
Um-- Uh-- Uh, water!
He needs water!
No more up here!
[ Thelonius Whimpering, Screeching ] [ Men Yelling, Grunting ]
[ Man Grunting ]
[ Muttering ]
[ Squawks ] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, pig! Oh!
[ Ferdinand ] Sorry.
[ Mouse #1 ] Someone help me. [ Mouse #2 ] Why can't you do anything?
[ Squeaking Frantically ]
[ Mice Together ] Eeewww!
[ Gagging ]
Who-o-o-o-o-ah!
[ Sighs ] Thank you, pig!
[ Worried Chattering ]
Whoa!
Aaah!
What is that? Get out of here.
What are we gonna do with that?
Ow!
Come on! Let's go!
Flealick! Flealick!
[ Sputtering, Gasping ]
[ Man ] What happened to you?
[ Snarling ]
Flealick? Flealick!
Let go! Let go, Flealick!
[ Squawking ]
Oh, pig! Pig!
[ Panting ]
[ Panting Continues ]
Up!
Up!
[ Babe ] Flealick? Huh?
Flealick?
Huh?
Flealick!
Can you-- Can you hear me?
[ Groaning ]
A-Are you okay?
Just flip me over. Fl-- Flip me over.
Ah! Okay, okay. Whew!
Feelin' good, feelin' peppy! [ Sniffs ]
They went-- All right. They went this way.
Uh, actually, Flealick, I think it's the other way.
Wait a minute. What are you doing?
- It's all in the hooter. The schnoz. - The what?
The olfactory instrument. Pig! Pig, pig! You're unraveling here!
"A," they are long gone. "B," they were not nice people.
"C" is for kamikaze and "D" is for delusional, which is what you are in the head!
Ferdy. Face it. You're just a little pig in the big city.
What can you possibly do? What can anyone do? Why even try?
[ Squeaking Noise ]
Huh? [ Whimpers ]
Would you help me off with this, please?
Oh, boy. Unbelievable.
[ Both Grunting ]
Hmm. Uh--
Ferdinand the duck, witness to insanity.
[ Mice Reading ] "Chaos...
revisited." re-- revisited."
Oops. Sorry. [ Giggles ]
[ Narrator ] Sometimes we discover our talents only through necessity.
Babe, who never used his nose for anything but the piggish pursuit of food,
soon found he could make his way through the trickiest of smellscapes.
As the morning wore on, he became quite the virtuoso.
[ Babe ] It's close. It's close. We're getting close.
Yes, it's this way.
[ Panting ]
Hmph!
[ Together ] Tourists.
[ Babe Panting ] I do believe we're here.
[ Nervous Quacking, Chittering ]
[ Woman On P.A. ] Dr. Collins, please report to--
[ Shutter Clicking ] [ Cats Yowling, Dogs Barking ]
Ohh.
[ Hooting ]
[ Whimpering, Chittering ] Dead. They're all dead.
They're not dead. Well, let's go get 'em.
Flealick. Hey.
If we get caught, we won't be able to help anybody.
Oh, yes, I've given myself a good, hard talking-to, let me tell you.
I said to myself, Esme, you have let Arthur, yourself and the pig down.
[ Narrator ] The judge had never heard anyone speak so many words in so short a time.
[ Continues Chattering ] Evidently, this was a woman...
of clear conscience and good intent.
I used to dismiss pigs, but then a pig became my husband's best friend.
[ Narrator ] Besides, he grew up on a farm and had a fondness for pigs.
You can bind me in chains,
but the minute I'm set free I shall march straight back into those ugly streets...
and continue to search for my Arthur's pig!
Case dismissed!
[ Babe ] Hello? Hello?
[ Bob ] It's the pinkness! All right!
[ Zootie ] Thingy! [ Pitbull ] Chief!
Oh, I knew he'd come. Hot diggity doggie-doo!
Shh! We have to be quiet. Sorry. Uh, sorry.
I'll go lock up. All right.
Okay, okay. You all know the term "survival of the fastest."
Well, I've got an idea. We split into two groups.
The fast ones come with me. The slow ones stay behind and sacrifice themselves.
Ferdinand! That way we don't all die.
I think that's only reasonable, don't you?
Wh-- Where's Thelonius?
What are you doing?
I, I-- I'm not dressed.
But, Thelonius, you're an orangu-thingy.
Well, I'm not dressed. [ Babe ] Mr. Thelonius?
Time to go.
[ Bob ] This is insanitary.
Thank you for waiting.
[ Babe ] Quick, go back. Go back!
[ Ferdinand ] Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
[ Door Locks ]
[ Poodle ] Oh, my. When is something nice gonna happen to me?
[ Ferdinand Choking ] Oxygen. Oxygen.
[ Stereo: Opera, Loud ]
[ Volume Increases ]
[ Volume Returns To Previous Level ]
Hello?
[ Continues, Loud ]
Hello?
[ Snapping Sound ]
Pig.
What's going on? What happened?
I thought I could make a place where we would all be okay.
But how can you do that here?
This used to be a lovely neighborhood.
People kept an eye out for each other. They really did.
But now, I'm away for just one night...
with my Uncle Fugly on his deathbed--
You poor, wee thing.
Why couldn't they just leave us be?
Who? What did the animals ever do to her?
Who? Her! That--
[ Continues, Loud ]
Her.
Right.
Clothes. Got anything that'll fit me?
U-Um, eh--
[ Rattling, Squeaking, Jingling ]
[ Squeaking ] [ Opera Continues, Loud ]
[ Pounding ]
Where are our animals?
[ Rattling ]
I'm not going across there. Do it, Nigel.
[ Ferdinand ] It's just a walk in the park.
Try and use all of your legs.
Come on. We're almost... not there.
[ Nervous Honking ]
[ Poodle ] In this whole wide world,
is there anywhere that's truly safe?
[ Zootie ] Yeah, for my babies?
[ Babe ] There is a place I know, but it's ever so far away.
[ Nigel ] How do we get there?
[ Babe ] Well, first we have to find my human.
Huh? Ohh!
[ Man's Voice ] Darling!
There you are.
[ Pants Squeaking, Jingling ] [ Huffing ]
[ Babe Whispering ] Quietly. [ Ferdinand ] Huh?
Quietly. "Quietly."
[ Babe ] Shh.
[ Laughs ]
Four leg. Two.
This is a dog. Mmm.
And a pig.
Hi, Thelonius.
[ Baby Giggling ]
Come on, Thelonius. Come on.
[ Ferdinand Quacking ] [ Babe Snorting ]
[ Siren Blaring ]
John? John? [ Elevator Bell Dings ]
Mrs. Willis.
[ Elevator Muzak ] Any pain?
No, very little. Good.
Good evening, Doctor. Evening, sir.
Evening. Hello.
Okay, thank you. Have a good night.
[ Blaring Siren Approaching ]
Evening.
We're looking for, um, some animals.
What kind?
Pig, cats, dogs, monkeys,
that sort of thing.
[ Muzak Continues ] [ Ferdinand Humming Along ]
[ Barks ]
[ Cats Yowling ] [ Dogs Barking ]
[ Chefs Exclaiming ] Hey! You can't come in here.
[ Mrs. Hoggett Gasping, Grunting ]
Pig! [ Chefs Shouting, Arguing In French ]
Yaaaah! Ooohhh!
[ Both Groaning ] [ Ferdinand Quacking ]
[ Poodle ] Well, bite my tail.
[ Easy ] This must be the fun.
Oh. What a surprise.
I adore surprises. [ Laughing ]
[ Growls Quietly ]
[ Screaming, Shouting ] [ Mrs. Hoggett ] Back off!
[ Guests Screaming, Shouting ]
Ohh! Ohh!
Come here! No, no! [ Whimpering ]
Okay, go!
[ Babbling ]
[ Babbling Continues ]
Pig? Pig, pig, pig, pig!
[ Quacking ] Whoa!
It is her! It's her!
[ Ferdinand ] Sure, it's her.
- Stay, pig! Stay! - But it looks like Himself!
Thelonius, I don't think so.
I tell you, it's Himself.
Things are lookin' up, Ferdy. Huh?
You're comin' with me, Porky.
[ Babe Squealing ]
That's not your pig! He is my pig now.
Esme! The chef's got your pig!
[ Gasps ]
[ Growling, Barking ]
Okay, Thelonius, let's go.
[ Hooting ]
Oh.
[ Guests Gasping, Shouting ] Oh.
Grab her, man!
- [ Babe Squealing ] - [ Quacking ]
I am Esme Cordelia Hoggett...
and I've come for my Arthur's pig!
[ Squeals ]
[ Gasps ]
- Oh, dear! Ohh! Ohh! - Whoa!
- [ Squealing Continues ] - [ Grunting, Muttering ]
Ohh! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
[ Whimpering ]
Whoo! [ Guests Shouting, Exclaiming ]
Isn't this appalling?
Oh-Oh-Ohhhh! Ohhh!
[ Gasps ]
Ohh! Ooh! Sorry!
[ Panting ]
[ Muttering ]
Oh.
Aaah! Aaaah!
Aaaaah!
[ Guests Murmuring, Screaming ]
[ Growls ]
Come on, Ferdy. Come on. [ Honking ]
[ Mrs. Hoggett ] Ohh! Come on, pig! Come on! Ohh!
Ohh! [ Groaning ]
[ Groaning Continues ]
Ohh! [ Guests Gasping ]
[ Grunts ] I'm coming. I'm coming.
- Grab him! - [ Babe Squealing ]
[ Guests Gasp ]
[ Squealing Continues ]
[ Whooping ]
Pig!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
[ Chandelier Groaning ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Woman ] Oh! [ Laughs ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Zootie ] No.
[ Bob ] What, honey? What's wrong?
I think I dropped a baby. What do you mean, you dropped a baby?
I must have dropped the other baby.
Oh, Zootie! Calm down. Calm down.
Zootie, don't worry, honey. We'll find the baby. The baby has to be right here.
Hello? Oh, my baby!
[ Squealing ]
Thelonius, look! Look up!
[ Screaming ]
[ Cries ]
[ Cooing ]
Thank you.
Yeah, Thelonius. Thank you.
Thank the pig.
Pig, you get here now!
[ Techno Dance, Loud ] [ Chattering, Laughing ]
[ Narrator ] You can't always put things back together as they were,
but you can look to something afresh.
At least, that's what the two ladies decided.
So it was, the hotel was rented out.
And this provided for a curious arrangement.
I just can't stand it anymore! Roger! Roger!
[ Mice Humming "Are You Lonesome Tonight" ]
[ Narrator ] The money from the hotel allowed the Hoggetts to keep the farm from the bank.
[ Nigel Grunts ] Race you home, Alan.
[ Panting ] You betcha, Nigel.
And so it was, the pig brought the two worlds together.
Two broken halves to make something afresh...
in a place just a little to the left of the 20th century.
[ Continues ]
The chimpanzees left show business behind...
and were able to be chimpanzees.
As you would expect, the air agreed with them immeasurably.
Although the others got a taste for country life,
Flealick found the pace too slow...
and took to chasing trucks.
[ Snarling ]
[ Mice ] Are you lonesome tonight? Sad to say,
[ Continues ] the thing between the pit bull and pink poodle didn't last.
She ran off with another dog and left him with the kids.
Kids, you got to be scary. You're warriors. Give me your snarl.
[ All ] But, Dad, do we have to?
We don't want to.
[ Continues ]
When I kissed you
And called you sweetheart
Do the chairs in your parlor
Seem empty and bare?
[ Continues ] [ Narrator ] As for the orangutan,
he insisted on staying at the farmhouse... with Herself.
And picture me there
Is your heart filled with pain?
Shall I come back again?
Tell me, dear
Are you lonesome
Tonight?
[ Narrator ] And finally, dear ones, the pig and the farmer...
were content again in each other's company.
And things were back to where they started, more or less.
Hmm.
[ Pipe Rattling, Thumping ]
That'll do, pig.
That'll do.
[ Sighs ]
[ Man ] A kind and steady heart
Can make a gray sky blue
And a task that seems impossible
Is quite possible for you
A kind and steady heart
Is sure to see you through
It may not seem like very much right now
But it'll do
It'll do
When you find yourself in the middle of a storm
And you're tired and cold and wet
And you're looking for a place that's cozy and warm
You'll make it if you never forget
A kind and steady heart
Can conquer doubt and fear
A little courage goes a long, long way
Gets you little bit further down the road each day
And before you know it you'll hear someone say
That'll do, Babe
That'll do
A kind and steady heart
Is sure to see you through
A little courage goes a long, long way
Gets you little bit further down the road each day
And before you know it you'll hear someone say
That'll do
That'll do
That'll do, Babe
That'll do
Thank you for staying till the end.
Bye-bye.