Babo: The Haftbefehl Story (2025) Movie Script
1
THE FOLLOWING FILM CONTAINS DEPICTIONS
OF DRUG ABUSE,
MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES AND SUICIDE,
WHICH SOME VIEWERS MAY FIND TROUBLING.
IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS STRUGGLING,
INFORMATION AND RESOURCES ARE AVAILABLE
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Okay.
Aykut, how are you?
You sound like my therapist.
How am I? I'm good, bro.
I've been in therapy.
Honestly, without therapy,
I'd be dead by now.
I was dead.
ONE YEAR EARLIER
Why am I doing this?
If something happens,
I want my story told right. By me.
Make some noise
for the living legend, Haftbefehl!
To me, he's the best ever, by far.
There's no better rapper. Anywhere.
I got my back to the wall
Dick in my hand
Others at Ballermann
Their whole body tensed up
He's the king of rappers.
Nobody can touch him.
He walked onstage and I said,
"That's him. He's our Biggie."
The way he screams into the mic.
He might be off-key,
but it doesn't matter. He doesn't care.
Haftbefehl is by far
the biggest talent
to come out of the German rap scene ever.
With his history,
it's no wonder he became an artist.
06-069, cho
If you trace
Haftbefehl's entire journey,
what happened to him
isn't all that surprising.
The problem is, there's Aykut Anhan,
and then there's Haftbefehl.
-Daddy, where are you?
-I'm at work, honey.
I love Aykut.
Not Haftbefehl.
Do I worry about my brother?
He's my brother.
Of course I worry about him.
I tried everything.
Yeah! Make some noise
for the living legend, Haftbefehl!
A legend? A legend is already dead, right?
I'm still here.
Still alive.
BABO THE HAFTBEFEHL STORY
My first childhood memory
Aykut! Aykut!
The beach.
I'm running on the beach.
I'm running, running,
running, running, running.
This was
our legendary summer vacation
HAFTBEFEHL'S YOUNGER BROTHER
in Kuadasi.
Three brothers.
This is Aykut.
Aykut!
Aykut was funny.
He's always been an entertainer.
He made us laugh. All the time.
HAFTBEFEHL'S OLDER BROTHER
Come on, let's go!
Aykut.
That's Aytac.
And that's me.
We definitely didn't have
a rosy childhood. That's for sure.
We grew up in Offenbach,
at 4 Hermann-Steinhuser Street.
Offenbach was different back then, bro.
It was a whole other thing.
I wouldn't say other cities
are different from Offenbach, Frankfurt.
But it was different for us.
It's just 6 km. from
Offenbach to Frankfurt's banking district,
but they are worlds apart.
Here,
there is record unemployment,
and little public housing.
More than half
of all offenses are committed by minors.
Where we grew up,
our childhood was fucked, man.
But we were a crew. We all smoked weed.
School was shit.
Marktplatz was my front yard.
Everybody I knew took drugs.
I grew up
on the streets of Frankfurt-Offenbach.
Like, I was an actual street kid.
I was in Offenbach every day,
and Marktplatz every night.
I'd say, "I'm going to school."
But I didn't go to school.
I'd go to Marktplatz to sell drugs.
You feel me?
There was a drug dealer
on every street corner.
Looking back, we were three kids
who took the only path available to us,
because we had no one
to show us a different way.
Everyone just wants a piece, you know?
Even kids.
A baggie for ten Marks, two for 20.
Small-time stuff.
I just made a little pocket change.
One time, I stole some money from my dad.
And, uh, I spent it all on CDs.
He came home one day and said,
"Aykut, you want some CDs?
I'll get whatever you want."
I said, "Bring me
every single hip-hop CD that exists."
"That's all I wanna hear.
Hip-hop, hip-hop, hip-hop."
You couldn't talk to me. All I had
in my head was music, music, music.
Oh dude
This is Aykut Anhan
Hermann-Steinhuser-Strae, Mainpark
Oh dude
Offenbach stays rough
Hermann-Steinhuser-Strae
Mainpark, chab
Forever Nordend
Goetheplatz, Bsing-Park
Brother, this place burns
Hey, brother!
YOUTH CENTER
Hey! Turn it up, bro!
Okay.
-Yeah.
-This is Haftbefehl.
Yeah.
Yep!
I'm making you a fanatic
Or the WMD
I set up a Kickstarter and drink it
The early days.
FRANK HUTH SOCIAL WORKER
We had a sound system,
but it was really crappy.
Yeah!
He always had the mic
right up against his mouth,
like he was gonna chew it up.
He was a maniac.
The more outlets we offered him,
the more intense it got.
I skip sports meetings
I keep going my way
Get totally awake
It's all right, hard like film
No one believed in me.
They laughed at me.
People on the street knew I could rap.
But the rest of the world
was, like, so far away, you know?
SHUT YOUR MOUTH
Hey, people. My name
is Haftbefehl, real music.
Yo, people, what's up? Haftbefehl.
What's up, people? Haftbefehl.
What's up, people? Haftbefehl.
German rap is a bitch
And Haft is the pimp
What I do is too gangsta
A Kurd. Very tall guy.
Calls himself Haftbefehl.
He's gonna blow everybody away.
SL-Benzes and that
With chrome rims
I was a fan from day one.
I knew right away, this dude is sick.
He's not afraid to say anything.
And not in standard German.
In street slang. In anti-social language.
Real talk. And totally in your face.
There's no one else
that can rap the way he does.
JAN DELAY MUSICIAN
It has nothing to do with street rap
versus hip-hop.
He's in his own category.
And the rest die
Get the city on crack
I make cash, azzlack
Flip that candy, make scratch
The city's mine
This is Babo-Haft, you've heard of me
This mixing in
other languages
Arabic, French, English.
Is unique to his music,
and creates a kind of ghetto Esperanto.
Chab, what's up?
Azzlack has fame
See how he makes money
Karda, get out our way
We're a global power
S-Class, black-Matt
Mercedes from Benz suits me, chab
Real hard
Like a leather jacket from Belstaff
This isn't German
What I'm doing is Kanacki
You know this is Haft
Little kahba, siktir, bas git
Call that rap? What I do
Suddenly,
"lamp" rhymes with "fridge".
How does he do that?
FRIZZO DJ & MUSIC PRODUCER
Kanacki.
If you think she's hot
Now what?
I grab you
Oh man, you immediately
hear that "Krr, krr."
Who makes sounds like that in a song
to show you he's loading his gun?
This is Haft-to-befehl
Sick
It's so immediate.
You can't escape it.
People instantly feel the aura he carries.
His energy is electric. As an artist, I
really respect his ability to create that.
PETER FOX MUSICIAN
He's holding up a mirror to young people,
you know? They're struggling and damaged.
LIZ RAPPER
Thirteen fifty
For a kilo of hash
Nougg3apreis, asahbi
I love my city
You know?
That's why so many young people
relate to him.
-Haftbefehl.
-Haftbefehl.
-Hafti, of course.
-Hafti is just better.
He has this flow.
He's the best rapper in Germany.
For me, he's Germany's only rap star.
With each album, Aykut got bigger.
First, there was Azzlack Stereotyp,
then Kanacki, and then Blockplatin.
And "Chabos" was on Blockplatin.
You couldn't ignore him.
Chabos know who Babo is
Hafti Abi is the one
Sitting in the Lambo or Ferrari
Saudi-Arabi
And then, it exploded.
Watch, don't mess around
Or I'll come break your nose
Things moved fast.
Bam, bam, bam.
Haftbefehl here, Haftbefehl there.
COLOGNE
This jacket squeaks. It's weird.
-Hi, wife, how are you?
-Hi, husband.
Them again?
I built a house.
My kids are moving in now.
-Me too, of course.
-What are you doing?
The house is nice, right?
Yes, very.
-Yeah.
-It's really, really nice.
-It cost me enough.
-Come and see.
-Did you go to the doctor today?
-No.
Go tomorrow.
Don't remind me. Now I have acid reflux.
STUDIO RECORDING
Let it roll, let it roll.
Hafti
Blanco!
Cho
Okay
I reload the pump gun
Baba H raps and shares his mindset
With all Alamanya
Digga, digga, digga.
The album will be done today!
Ho, ho!
More than ten years
Of street rap
For your ghetto blaster
Real reporting
Direct from Radio Frankfurt Station
Candy comes in avocados
Pots are burnt from grass
When I do something I love,
and music is an example of that,
I really throw myself into it, you know?
Ready to hand, accurate
I keep mixing, narco
He's uncompromising.
It's really intense and extreme.
But that's why
I love to make music with him.
MUSIC PRODUCER
Because it matters. He never holds back.
Valentino, color black
Half a kilo of gear
-Use that?
-No, bro. The one before.
Go back, go back, go back!
Okay.
That's where I need to come in. I know.
Yeah, I got it.
Don't underestimate him.
He's a musical genius.
He knows exactly what he's doing.
Because I'm the shit
In Europe
Bitch, it's Babo Haft
Sick.
I reload the pump gun
Baba H brings the drive-by soundtrack
For everyone in Frankfurt
I reload the pump gun
Stop, stop.
Yes, my love?
Look at this.
Your iced tea is number one.
We're all so proud of you.
My iced tea is number one, okay?
I'm recording now, love.
I'll call you back, okay?
-Aliyah, Noah!
-Oh, my kids. Hold on.
Tell Daddy you're proud of him.
Daddy, I'm proud of you.
Oh yeah?
Where's Aliyah?
Daddy, where are you?
At work, honey.
Say bye.
Honey, look what he's wearing.
Is that your favorite shirt?
-I love you, too, baby. See you soon.
-See you soon.
-Bye.
-Bye.
Let's do a thank-you video.
Number one in What's the website?
-Beverage Award.
-What?
Beverages Award.
Hear that? We're number one on there.
-No, keep that. It's good.
-No.
Why? It's funny.
Hello, friends.
I want to thank all of you for making us
the number one iced tea in Germany.
By the Beverage-Meverage
I need to record now.
You guys with your iced teas,
and dners, and burgers and
I see my world
In black, white, and red
I don't really
listen to German rap.
I put the candy
On the scales, fresh from the kitchen
That edgy stuff
was never my thing.
But I thought, "Okay, That's his music.
That's his art. That's his thing."
HAFTBEFEHL'S WIFE
Okay, let's rehearse.
-On the flight...
-Put it there.
Yo!
Okay!
-It's a whole other world, right?
-Okay!
I don't wanna know what my mother
thinks about it. I never asked her.
Chabos know who Babo is
Hafti Abi is the one
Sitting in the Lambo and Ferrari
Saudi-Arabi money rich
I don't know how she feels
about who her daughter is with.
Good morning, friends. We're awake.
I've been awake
a little longer than this guy here.
I'm the shit, dude.
I'm camera ready.
His personality, his vibe
There's just something about him.
Look at this.
-What is that?
-Do you have that?
I don't have that.
Well, you're not superhuman.
My organs are different
than other people's.
And I can also fly, by the way.
Right.
And fall flat on your face.
Hey, Louis Vuitton!
Louis Vuitton. Where is it?
Let me find a place to park.
My cap is from Louis.
My T-shirt is from Louis.
My jogging pants, my shorts,
my shoes, all from Louis.
And your underwear.
My underwear is from Aldi.
No one sees them.
What do they say? You can take
the boy out of the ghetto, but
I'm Hafti.
Aykut Anhan.
Sometimes.
-Always.
-Always.
Should we start with the intro?
Or jump right in?
Start with the intro.
REHEARSAL OPEN AIR FRAUENFELD
The lights go out right here.
When it comes to his music,
he's all in.
Baba Julius Caesar?
In the beginning, I thought, "Whoa."
"Am I gonna be able
to compete with all of this?"
Play the whole intro,
so he gets a feel for it.
I also had a real fear of loss.
Because suddenly, everything went boom,
and I thought,
"Now, I'll never get my old Aykut back."
When Aykut walks down the street,
people appear out of nowhere.
Everyone who's been around him
has seen that.
"Hafti, Hafti, Hafti."
"Hafti Abi." "Abi, can we just"
Hafti, Abi!
In Turkish,
"Abi" means "big brother".
I understand why people say
he's the voice of our generation.
No one's ever listened to us before.
He's kind of like the sun for us.
He gives us hope.
Hafti gets us.
He gives voice
to what a lot of us are experiencing,
or have experienced.
He makes people feel like they're heard.
Check my odyssey
Mind's the pilot
What butterflies in my gut? Fuck Oli P.
Chasing money
Dodging Thorsten Beetz
It's like the world
is a house, and he's the support beam.
He's the girder. The main support.
If you remove it,
then the whole thing comes down.
Aykut is the pillar holding up the house.
No hiccups, no mistakes.
It has to be smooth.
-Got it.
-A1, bro. All right, let's go.
I'm ready.
It's not really about the songs.
It's more about the people
standing in front of him.
Hafti! Hafti! Hafti! Hafti!
You become devoted to him.
Not just a fan.
You actually become his groupie.
If you're a Haftbefehl fan
and understand what Haftbefehl's saying,
you realize you're listening to someone
who knows what he's talking about.
Because he's lived it.
Make some noise
for the living legend, Haftbefehl!
069
Ah!
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
Cho
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
Blanco
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
Cho
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
What's up?
Automatic gun
What's up, Oliver?
Run as far as you can
I hope marathon was your hobby, chab
Headshot for the officer
Before he falls to the ground
When the shotgun bangs
Bitch, I wanna see dead people
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
Let the monkeys out the zoo
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
Azzlack, baba
Cho, cho, cho
I miss him
in the evenings.
When I sit here alone, I sometimes think,
"Hm, if I had a regular husband,
he'd finish his work day,
"and then he'd come home."
"Maybe we'd hang out,
watch a movie together, whatever."
Bro, we're heading to the after-party.
At the hotel? A club?
It's not easy
at the moment.
Let me just make the soup.
I'm alone with the kids 24/7.
I'm not a single mother,
but I almost kinda am.
I kinda am.
Is this all homework?
Yeah, it's not for me to do, Mr. Anhan.
Down, across and up.
-Great, that's amazing.
-I like it.
That's the best one.
I don't even have time to think,
"Am I lonely?"
I've just accepted it. It's his life.
It's his life.
He's a rock star.
Most artists actually live
a relatively structured life.
With Haft, you don't really know
what'll happen tomorrow.
Is that good or bad?
Hm
It matches his personality.
That's just Haft. He's impulsive.
If you want to throw a TV
out of a hotel window, go ahead.
I don't care.
But just be where you're supposed to be
when you're supposed to be there.
One time,
we all holed up in the studio
to work on the The White Album.
-And we waited for him for two days.
-Depression in the ghetto
At 11 pm, he shows up
to his own video shoot.
He's three and a half days late,
and then just suddenly shows up.
Sometimes, things happen
with Aykut, and he just doesn't show up.
And you try to make sense of it.
Guess where he said Aykut was.
At the dentist.
"Hey, bro. I'll be right there."
There's the music industry,
and there's Haftbefehl.
No one can control him.
You never know what you're gonna get.
We're sitting there,
and we improvise some bullshit.
Then he calls ten minutes later
and says everything's fine.
I'm like, "Okay."
"Maybe tomorrow."
Depression in the ghetto
Forget SOS, no one's coming to save you
What do you think
about hoodies
where you can zip the hood all the way up?
I think they had them in New York,
like, five or ten years ago,
but they were banned because
too many people wore them to rob stores.
We wanted to present the brand,
the complete Haftbefehl package,
to a wider audience at the OMR Festival.
Thousands of people in front of the stage,
prime time for that kind of event.
It's the most important event
in a marketing manager's calendar.
So, what can I say?
As moderator, I usually have
the fantastic job of introducing people.
Unfortunately, in this case,
things are a little different.
Haftbefehl canceled this morning
on very short notice.
Fuck!
In 2019, we extended Aykut's contract.
We put together a huge
contract-signing event here in Berlin.
All the big shots
from Universal were there.
But no Aykut.
It was like a movie.
A bright red Ferrari.
He steps out, shades on, cap on backwards.
"Ah, Max!"
I look down, he's not wearing shoes.
He's wearing hotel slippers.
He says, "Here I am."
I say, "Great, you're here."
He's like, "Come on, it's all good."
I can tell
he hasn't slept much.
Aykut comes in. It's chaos.
He's loud, yelling.
At one point,
he had our CEO in a headlock,
and I'm thinking,
"Oh God, please make it stop."
Forever rich
He takes the contract,
holds it against the wall,
puts the pen in his mouth,
and signs it like this.
You know, you know
Forever rich
I mean, we're all like,
"Yeah, that's just how he is."
"That's Haftbefehl."
But at a certain point, I realized
It's funny until it isn't funny anymore.
Mannheim.
That was the day it went public.
I wanna thank you all for being here.
You've been here from the start.
I remember it well.
I was booked that day too.
I was on right before him.
Have fun today.
Please welcome my brother to the stage!
I went off stage after my set.
He came out, and he was
I'd never seen him like that.
Hello.
Mannheim!
What's up, dude?
What's up?
Right.
And then we had a huge fight.
He treated me like I didn't exist.
He wouldn't listen to me.
I didn't recognize my own brother.
I didn't look good.
Hafti
barely managed to hold on.
He couldn't even complete a full sentence.
A slap in the face for his fans.
nearly destroyed
his whole career.
TOTALLY HIGH, FALLS OVER, DRUGS
When that happened, we were getting ready
to release the album Mainpark.
Aykut was about to go on tour.
We had to cancel everything.
CANCELLED
HAFTBEFEHL PRESS
UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE TO CANCEL THE TOUR
FOR HEALTH REASONS.
MY BODY NEEDS A BREAK.
I started drugs at 13.
At first, I smoked weed.
But I lost interest in that
when I discovered cocaine.
Twenty-five years, man.
I didn't know what it was.
I sank further and further
into a drug pit.
At first, it was every three or four days.
Then every other day.
With more money, more coke.
I called Neffi.
"Neffi, he likes you. Please talk to him."
And he stepped up.
Yeah, Mannheim
It made me deeply sad.
And for the first time, I felt like
I didn't wanna meet with him
as an executive from Universal.
I needed to talk to him,
and find out what was going on with him
as Neffi.
And so I went to Aykut's hotel.
He'd shut himself in,
and hadn't come out for several days
I'M IN THE HOTEL
It was ridiculous.
He was three floors up.
I was three floors below.
And we communicated by text.
I basically said,
"I'm not leaving until you come out
and we drive together to a clinic."
I slept for eight days.
Eight days!
I was totally wiped out.
I woke up, took some pills,
and went back to sleep.
Woke up, pills, sleep.
I didn't know what I was taking.
I just took whatever they gave me.
After eight days,
I went to therapy for the first time.
I felt like a ghost.
I was seeing shadows.
And the therapist
Do you know what she said?
"You're going to die."
I was like, "Why would I die?"
"I've been snorting coke for 23 years.
It's all these people, not the coke!"
I said, "I'm outta here."
"I'm outta here. I'm outta here."
"Fuck it."
I got my stuff
and I split
without another word.
Aykut said no to therapy.
And, you know, he's a force of nature.
If he doesn't want it, then,
that's it.
I would have felt bad
if I'd had a say in it.
If I had asked for it.
But people don't understand if they
haven't lived through it themselves.
I started doing coke when I was 13.
I'm 38.
The price for this life
is very high.
That's show business.
It's the fucking stage.
And you always
have to be able to put on a smile.
I can't think of any other job
where if you can't fake a smile,
there can be
a lot of negative consequences.
You know what I mean?
But you can't always smile.
So you try to get happy
by other means, you know?
It's hard.
I take care of everyone.
And when I've made sure
that everyone's okay,
I just wanna get high.
Crawl into my hole and get high.
In a couple of days, I come back.
And it starts all over.
I have to make sure everyone's okay again.
"Ha ha, you You
Gucci here, Gucci there."
"Mercedes here, Mercedes there."
"Baba, Baba, handle the business."
Two days later, I'm back in the hole.
Back in the hole.
Over there.
I have to wake up Daddy.
Hello?
Is everything okay?
This is your first vacation, right?
Here, look.
Yes.
-You thought I wouldn't come?
-Yeah, I never know with you.
Babe, are we taking a taxi to the airport?
Should I call?
-Call one.
-Yeah? Okay.
How long are we staying? One week or two?
Careful, angel.
Our connection isn't as strong as it was.
It's really gone downhill.
We've been annoying each other lately.
I'll take you to the airport
and come later.
Kids, you can go ahead.
I'll get everything together okay?
Haftbefehl has damaged a lot.
Sometimes, I wish
I could have my old life back.
Just be normal again.
But that's not possible.
Hello.
How many roses did you get?
Two hundred.
Yeah, from who?
From you!
From your secret admirer.
That was a lovely time.
Look, look!
We played around all the time.
Did so much silly stuff.
We were like kids.
When he says he'll go on vacation with us,
I pretty much expect that
he won't come.
He can't leave it behind.
I don't think he actually wants any of it.
But he can't stop.
I wasn't cut out
for that kind of life. That isn't me.
Unfortunately, it's not me.
My life's not like on TV. You know?
I'm never gonna be
the dad in the Kellogg's commercial.
You know what I mean?
I'm Haft. I'm Aykut. I'm Celal's son.
You know what I'm saying?
My father had an aura.
How can I explain it?
When my father walked down the street,
no matter where he was,
people turned their heads
and stared at him.
It was the way he carried himself,
with this powerful energy, this vibe.
And he had that style in person too.
My father wore Versace, Armani.
His clothes were worth a fortune
back then.
He'd wear a suit maybe three or four times
and then throw it away.
My father had one of the first
live music casinos in Frankfurt.
It was the best casino
in southern Germany.
The biggest Turkish artists
played for him.
A lot of people with money
flocked to him.
Gamblers, mafia guys,
drug dealers. You name it.
People who'd made a name for themselves.
And they threw a lot of money around.
On a grand scale.
I remember him
He'd come home
for a few hours at a time, to sleep.
Then he'd change, grab a couple of suits,
and then he'd be gone
for another three or four days.
That's how it was
for as long as I can remember.
Aykut! Aykut!
I played with the Kickers
for eight years.
He never watched practice.
Never came to a game. Nothing.
I'd lie to myself and think,
"Maybe he was there,
but just didn't say anything." You know?
I did pretty well with the Kickers too.
But he never saw that.
I didn't understand it.
We never knew what he did.
Aytac didn't know, Aykut didn't know,
and I didn't know either.
We were told he was in real estate.
To this day, I don't know what he did.
We do know one thing.
He was very, very rich.
He earned a lot of money.
But, somehow, we still lived
on the seventh floor of a high rise
in one of the most
fucked-up areas of Frankfurt.
Gambled all the time.
Like a professional.
One roll of the dice, 200,000 Marks.
Two rolls, 400,000.
Three rolls, 600,000. And so on.
Hardcore gambler.
Couldn't live without it.
He'd get cleaned out every night.
It was nothing to him.
He'd win it back the next day.
People would say,
"He got the money from somewhere."
To this day, no one knows where.
But I know there used to be
a lot of money hidden at home.
And he had a white carpet.
That carpet covered his entire bedroom.
Two million Marks under the rug.
One day, he's rich. A week later,
he's in debt. Round and round.
My father was unique.
But eventually,
the moment came when it all
changed.
Everything changed
a lot.
Make some noise
for the living legend, Haftbefehl!
-Hey, bro.
-Hey, brother.
-Yo, man.
-Someone's a legend when they're dead.
What? Nah, bro.
A legend
is what you call a dead person.
You're a living
rap legend, brother.
A living legend? No way.
A legend is already dead, right?
I'm still here. See? Still alive.
Sing it with me!
06-069, cho
-Rothschild theory
-Gonna commit murder now
Azzlack
Open the gates to Hell
Guns are fired
While you rap over headphones
I'm, I'm the pimp
German rap is my brothel
Welcome to 06-069, cho
06-069
06-069, cho
Aykut is
the loveliest guy in the world.
But Haftbefehl is dangerous.
He's a danger to himself too.
Because Haftbefehl has no fear.
The rap star is the rock star.
I think it's easier for him
to be Haftbefehl than to be Aykut Anhan.
Because Aykut Anhan has a family,
and he has to take care of them.
And I think that's a huge battle
that he's always fighting with himself.
06-069
Thank you, Zurich! Thank you!
Thank you! Thank you!
Slowly, slowly, slowly.
This way.
Close the door, honey.
I love Aykut.
Not Haftbefehl.
Can I take this off?
Yeah, you can take that off, honey.
He talks about his dad a lot.
He's never fully processed it.
My father
was strange.
He was strange. He was like
He'd sit by himself.
Then he'd get up.
He'd yell at me and my brother
for playing too loud.
My father was
extremely strict.
He made me feel safe and full of fear
at the same time.
Later on, he started hitting us
when he got depressed.
He couldn't control his temper, you know?
And then
things got real.
Seventh floor.
I went up.
I opened the door.
I was like, "Hello?"
I hear someone struggling,
gasping for breath.
I follow the sound.
I open the door and see my father.
There's a towel around his neck
and he's strangling himself.
His eyes were popping out.
He was almost gone.
Suddenly, he slapped me. Pow!
I was scared.
He looked at me and started laughing.
He said, "Are you trying
to save your dad?"
I was awake all night.
I couldn't sleep.
Went to school the next day.
I sat in the hallway until 6 a.m.
'cause I was scared he'd die.
You know, it wasn't easy,
what we all went through.
And you can't hold it against Aykut
when he says,
"I really didn't know
how to cope with it," or,
"I haven't been able to process
all the shit that happened."
When you know exactly what he went through
and how it all went down,
you cut him some slack.
This is crap.
Why? Why?
I still remember.
It was the 2nd July,
and it was raining hard.
I came in. My brother was there.
My mother saw me and started crying.
I knew it was over.
Aykut smashed his head
against the wall.
Everyone tried to stop him.
I said, "Let him get his anger out."
Yeah, I was angry.
I was fucking angry.
I left the house, ran up to my neighbor,
and punched him in the face.
For no reason.
"Asshole! Why didn't your father die?"
At that point, I was already
pretty fucked up psychologically.
I didn't even realize it, you know?
The only time I cried
was when I saw my little brother.
Yeah. Whenever I saw him,
I'd start crying.
He was so young. So sweet.
I was like, "He's my little one.
I have to be here for him now."
Aykut was like a father to me.
100%.
Yeah.
I mean,
some people write songs
as a way to work through their trauma.
And that's the most important thing
when it comes to trauma.
That you talk about it, and get it out,
and hopefully let it go.
He's been carrying around
the trauma of his past since he was 13.
That's why he talks about it in his songs.
I don't even want to think about what he'd
be like if he didn't have these songs.
The street is my teacher
School sucked
Dad leaving was real hard
I curse that day
My youth shattered like a glass
I was 14 years old at the time
The street took me in its arms
And never let go
Why was I born? Say "Yallah"
Leben, life, hayat
Leben, life, hayat
Leben, life, hayat
Life
There's a series of songs
on Haftbefehl's albums called "1999".
Six parts, over three albums.
And it's probably
the most honest and raw journal
in the history of German rap.
There's these voice messages
between him and Bazzazian, the producer.
They're literally therapy sessions
recorded on an album.
Bro, I've been writing nonstop.
I need to take a break.
I poured myself into this album.
The lyrics I'm sending you,
that you're listening to, bro,
every word, every line,
is true, brother.
These lines break walls
Like Pink Floyd
Deep messages in your face
Bro, enjoy
Three grams of coke in my blood
Liters of Blue Label when I booze
Twenty years of drugs
Why I act schizophrenic
Most people love Haftbefehl
because he's in your face
and creating anthems to chant.
But for me,
what I love is the incredible
vulnerability he expresses in his lyrics.
Such pure honesty that
Let me put it this way.
If I was part of his family,
it would scare me.
Do I worry about my brother?
He's my brother.
Of course I worry about him.
Abi!
-Guys, can you turn off the cameras?
-Yep.
Babo.
I mean, it's not something
that happened overnight.
It developed over a period of time.
And you're fighting an uphill battle.
Because that stuff really is the devil.
It's poison that
completely changes people.
At first, you don't wanna believe it,
because you've known
that person for years.
But then suddenly,
he's doing things he never used to do.
It's like you don't recognize him anymore.
And when you realize that,
especially as his brother,
that's a completely different story.
It's a totally different thing.
I think Aykut is the most
unpredictable artist that we work with.
And we do a lot of shows with him.
But you can't
plan anything.
I mean, it's impossible
to plan things with Aykut.
The idea was to organize
a big birthday concert for Aykut
at the Jahrhunderthalle in Frankfurt.
HAFT IS COMING HOME
The concert sold out immediately.
But the problem, as always,
was that we hadn't heard from Aykut.
It looks okay?
Come in.
Hey! Come on in.
Oh. Oh, he's peeing. He's peeing.
Ah, shit.
Up!
Did Aykut already get the stuff?
-Because it's getting tight, time-wise.
-For sure, brother.
-You know the doors open at 8:00, right?
-Yeah, bro.
So we need to leave
by 7:30 at the latest.
Got it.
The DJ is stuck in traffic. He'll be here
by 5:00. We'll finish everything then.
HAFTBEFEHL'S DRIVER
Sabri and the others are there already.
You work on it for eight months.
No one knows
whether it's going to happen or not.
With him, you just never know
what's going to happen.
Easy, easy.
Take your time.
-You okay?
-Yeah.
-Something to drink?
-I'm good.
He always says he's fine.
"I'm fine."
"I don't look that bad."
I've realized that a person
has to figure it out for themselves.
There's no other way. I tried everything.
From separating, to taking the children.
From moving here, to
moving away for good.
Nothing worked. Nothing.
Every now and then I'd think,
"Okay, it's gonna get better," but no.
It's the same.
It's fine.
Kids started lining up at 2:00
in the afternoon, waiting to get in.
The concert hall, with all the equipment
and everything else,
it cost six figures to rent,
and he probably won't even show up.
I didn't even rehearse.
I straight up missed rehearsal. Fuck.
The dog's staying here.
Can we leave?
No.
Dude, I have a concert
in front of 7,000 people. I gotta go!
-He wants to drive.
-I'm gonna drive.
-Are you for real?
-Like this?
You have
to put it in drive, Nina. Shift it again.
Not yet.
Slowly, honey. Please, stop!
Yeah, I got it, dude! Okay, man.
Hafti!
Hey, where's VIP?
Haft walks into the room
You know you're big
I have the aura, all eyes on me
Because it's your dream, you envy me
You think you're the shit?
I don't think so!
Great to see you, man
Can you take this off? It's really
starting to bother me, you know?
You can't stop him,
no matter what it is.
He says yes to everything.
Even when he's feeling so terrible
that he's lying on the floor.
So many times I've said,
"Please, just cancel."
No. He's going. He's going.
-Is it time?
-You're seven minutes late.
If my nose starts bleeding,
whoever has the mic needs to tell me.
And keep checking it for blood.
-I'll let you know.
-I can't tell.
Shit.
With Haftbefehl, or with me,
everyone's like, "He doesn't give a fuck."
That's what they'd say.
"He doesn't give a fuck."
"He doesn't care about anything."
And I don't.
The only thing I care about is the music.
The only thing I care about is the music.
Aykut, we have to go.
I saw him before it started,
and he did not look good.
I thought to myself,
"This isn't gonna work."
"There's no way this is going to happen."
Hafti! Hafti! Hafti!
Then he steps on stage and
the crowd goes wild.
Okay, 069
The area code
Now things get brutal
Hit you bad
No reason, no morals
I'm young, I'm wild, I'm antisocial
Fuck Arnold
I'm Conan the Barbarian
Somehow, he delivered.
He was there, and he was in it.
And I mean he was really there.
But still, privately, I was thinking,
"We're not gonna make it to his birthday."
No matter what he does,
it always looks
like he's gonna mess everything up.
But he always winds up being amazing.
And that's what makes him
a fucking rock star.
I was born
for this shit, you know?
All I need is a mic and a beat.
In the end,
Aykut was on stage for three hours.
He put everything he had
into making it happen.
Hands up. All the way up!
He called all his rap friends,
and everyone came.
Encore! We want more!
Encore! We want more!
Encore!
If you love music,
now and always
I'll make music until I die.
It was, like, a week after the concert.
Cem calls me.
I answer.
"Yussef, Aykut's in the hospital."
What?
"Aykut's in the hospital. He's dying."
I go to the hospital,
and head straight to the ER.
"I'm looking for Aykut Anhan."
"He's not here," she says.
I'm desperate, running around everywhere.
And then I see an ambulance pulling up.
EMERGENCY ROOM
They open the door.
All I see are his feet.
I thought he was dead.
Tears just hit me.
It got so bad
they had to resuscitate Aykut.
I overdosed on coke.
This is what happened.
I got into a fight with my brother.
I wasn't in my right mind, okay?
I said, "I'm gonna kill myself."
I went to the hotel, alone.
I checked into a suite.
A gram here, a gram there.
Another and another.
Every 20 minutes.
The bag was empty. I couldn't believe it.
My nose was bleeding.
My eyes were tearing up
because my nose was burning really bad.
It was intense.
I passed out,
and woke up in intensive care.
Aykut!
Finally, he opened his eyes.
"Hey. Am I dead?"
"Abi, no, you're not dead. You're here."
He totally flipped out.
He was really angry.
How is that you escape death, and then,
the first thing you do is get mad
because you didn't die?
It wasn't a good feeling.
I was scared when I came to.
All I saw was black, dude.
I just remember
I was shouting,
and pulling all the wires off myself.
I wanted to get out. And keep going.
They wanted me to stop.
They were upset seeing me like that.
"Mr. Anhan, pull yourself together."
Then I got out and kept going.
Right away. Ten grams.
"MAN IN THE MIRROR" 2013 SONG
Mirror,
mirror on the wall
I look at you, but who is that man?
Dammit
Am I losing my mind?
You're a mirror
But who is that man?
I didn't recognize him
And I'm starting to get scared
How many years have gone by?
I don't just ask the watch on my arm
But the clock on the wall
First the street, then a star
Then the fall
Like your father
Who no one helped back then
I'm done with all your games
And yell, "Fuck you all"
And shoot myself with the pump gun
In the nut
Man in the mirror
Man in the mirror
"Man in the Mirror"
was crazy.
Like he already knew
what would happen to him.
It shapes your life,
whether you like it or not.
You have to come to terms
with something like that.
And you need support.
You can't do it alone.
It's depression.
My grandma,
her brother killed himself.
My father's youngest brother
killed himself.
My father's father,
his brother killed himself.
My father took his own life.
Eventually you ask yourself,
"Okay, my father did it. Why shouldn't I?"
There's one thing about my brother.
Nothing scares him.
The only thing reining him in
is the people he loves.
Are you in pain?
Let's go to the doctor.
Come.
I want to show you something.
I want to show you those two.
That's my son, Noah.
That's my baby, Aliyah.
That was on her birthday.
And that's a piece of shit.
I'm the piece of shit on the left.
But he loves his kids. I do love my kids.
What's it called again?
"In my garden, in my garden.
In my garden"
"A raven builds its nest."
What's it called?
Here. You know Reinhard Mey?
In my
garden, in my garden
The delphinium bloomed blue
Amongst the weeds
In my garden
Among the weeds in my garden
Where the other flowers wither
Flowers wither
FOR DADDY ON HIS BIRTHDAY
In my roof, in my roof
A raven builds its nest
And under my crumbling roof
Under my crumbling roof
Where the wind blows
through the beams
Where the wind
Blows through the beams
Brutal song, dude.
Whoa. Heavy.
In my life, in my life
She lost her way and found me
And she took up space in my life
Space in my narrow life
And created confusion in my mind
Created confusion in my mind
I gave her what I had
Of reason and understanding
I gave her my soul
May the good Lord forgive me
Because I had
nothing else to give her
Because I had
nothing else to give her
SHORTLY AFTER THE CONCERSit down.
Why didn't you
cancel the show?
Why should I?
Because your doctor
said your life is at risk.
What should I do?
-Go to the hospital.
-And then?
Get treatment
so you don't die.
And then?
-You'll feel better.
-And then?
-You'll keep getting better.
-And then?
-You'll feel good.
-And then?
-Let's take a break.
-Keep rolling.
-Just for a bit.
-No, no. Keep rolling, keep rolling.
I don't give a shit. You want to see me?
Here. Here I am.
-I have to go.
-Go then.
-I have to leave now.
-So go.
But then I'm out.
-Call me tomorrow?
-I'll quit the documentary.
I need the mic.
-Give me the camera.
-Hm?
Give me the camera.
Give me the camera!
Assalam.
Bye.
Okay. Let's go.
Out!
Get out, you bastards.
Allah will help me destroy these demons.
Allah, destroy these sons of bitches.
I'll fuck your mother,
you sons of bitches.
You sons of bitches. Fucking assholes.
Get out!
Get out!
Get out, you sons of bitches. Out!
Get out, motherfuckers! Out!
I sit on the edge
Of the log roof
And let the classics float
And I think while I count the stars
How much longer
Will the Earth keep turning?
Not much longer, as long as
It carries the devil on its shoulders
Blow the scars out of my soul
My childhood was cursed
Chisel the lines onto the walls
And blood is my ink
I yell as loud as I can
Into the Earth's atmosphere
"Dear God, will this be the night
That I die?"
If I die,
what remains?
Haftbefehl the junkie?
Or Haftbefehl the musician?
Looking for God
'Cause they give me hell
'Cause they give me hell
'Cause they give me hell
Looking for God
'Cause they give me hell
'Cause they give me hell
'Cause they give me hell
It got to the point where we knew
that if we didn't do something now,
he would die.
Or at the very least,
be damaged for the rest of his life.
We had to take control of the situation.
The only way
to help anyone in this condition
is to take the choice away from them.
He clearly said, "Forget it."
He said it to my face. "Forget it.
I'm not coming to Turkey with you."
He wasn't having it. He wanted
absolutely nothing to do with this clinic.
But he's my brother,
and I'm seeing this through to the end.
If I give up, I'll lose him.
I didn't give up.
It took me six months to persuade him
to come to the clinic with me.
He saw what was up.
He asked me, "What are you planning?"
I said, "I just want you to be well.
That's all I want."
"Just talk to the doctor."
They asked questions.
He answers the questions, but kinda like
"Nah" You know.
He's playing them.
Not taking it seriously.
Then the psychologist says to him,
"We have to take away your phone."
That got his attention.
"Are you kidding me?!
Do I look like a child to you?"
I thought, "Great,
the whole plan is screwed."
I nod to the doctor and he says,
"You know what? We'll make an exception."
He signs. And then
he really starts to stress.
I say, "They just wanna check you."
But what he didn't notice?
He had signed papers
that gave me
power of attorney.
They got into the elevator.
On the other side of this elevator
is a locked institution.
I'm still talking to the psychologist,
and my phone rings.
He still had his phone.
I answer and he says, "If you don't
get me out of here, you'll be sorry."
"I swear to god,
you don't want me as your enemy."
I say, "Okay, hold on, I'll get you out.
Don't worry. I promise I'll get you out."
I switch my phone to airplane mode,
and set it down.
He's staying put.
It was like someone
had poured hot water over my head.
I felt like I left my body.
Locking up your own brother?
It's like locking up a part of yourself.
Honestly, without therapy,
I'd be dead by now.
I was dead, practically.
I couldn't feel anything.
It's hard to describe.
Drugs change everything.
Ice cream!
-Ice cream?
-Yeah.
Aliyah.
Cocaine destroys your soul.
Life is like a candle,
and we're the wick, right?
You take that stuff
and the wick burns down slowly, you know?
Eventually, the wick burns down to the end
and the candle is gone.
Kids! Let's buy some toys.
What up? When are you back?
-I'm back tomorrow.
-How are the kids?
Good. They're here.
Give them a big hi from me.
See you tomorrow.
Okay. Bye.
Hello?
You win some, you lose some.
But you can't give up.
I want my own drink.
You've never once
said to me,
"You can't show that.
I won't allow that. Cut."
-Why not?
-Why not?
What? I should lie?
No, I don't want that.
What's the truth, man?
You think I'm constantly surrounded
by naked women?
That's a hip-hop video, bro.
I've gotta be real.
You know what I'm saying?
This is what's real.
No, man.
I've gotta be real, bro.
BABO KURDISH FOR FATHER
THE FOLLOWING FILM CONTAINS DEPICTIONS
OF DRUG ABUSE,
MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES AND SUICIDE,
WHICH SOME VIEWERS MAY FIND TROUBLING.
IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS STRUGGLING,
INFORMATION AND RESOURCES ARE AVAILABLE
AT WWW.WANNATALKABOUTIT.COM
Okay.
Aykut, how are you?
You sound like my therapist.
How am I? I'm good, bro.
I've been in therapy.
Honestly, without therapy,
I'd be dead by now.
I was dead.
ONE YEAR EARLIER
Why am I doing this?
If something happens,
I want my story told right. By me.
Make some noise
for the living legend, Haftbefehl!
To me, he's the best ever, by far.
There's no better rapper. Anywhere.
I got my back to the wall
Dick in my hand
Others at Ballermann
Their whole body tensed up
He's the king of rappers.
Nobody can touch him.
He walked onstage and I said,
"That's him. He's our Biggie."
The way he screams into the mic.
He might be off-key,
but it doesn't matter. He doesn't care.
Haftbefehl is by far
the biggest talent
to come out of the German rap scene ever.
With his history,
it's no wonder he became an artist.
06-069, cho
If you trace
Haftbefehl's entire journey,
what happened to him
isn't all that surprising.
The problem is, there's Aykut Anhan,
and then there's Haftbefehl.
-Daddy, where are you?
-I'm at work, honey.
I love Aykut.
Not Haftbefehl.
Do I worry about my brother?
He's my brother.
Of course I worry about him.
I tried everything.
Yeah! Make some noise
for the living legend, Haftbefehl!
A legend? A legend is already dead, right?
I'm still here.
Still alive.
BABO THE HAFTBEFEHL STORY
My first childhood memory
Aykut! Aykut!
The beach.
I'm running on the beach.
I'm running, running,
running, running, running.
This was
our legendary summer vacation
HAFTBEFEHL'S YOUNGER BROTHER
in Kuadasi.
Three brothers.
This is Aykut.
Aykut!
Aykut was funny.
He's always been an entertainer.
He made us laugh. All the time.
HAFTBEFEHL'S OLDER BROTHER
Come on, let's go!
Aykut.
That's Aytac.
And that's me.
We definitely didn't have
a rosy childhood. That's for sure.
We grew up in Offenbach,
at 4 Hermann-Steinhuser Street.
Offenbach was different back then, bro.
It was a whole other thing.
I wouldn't say other cities
are different from Offenbach, Frankfurt.
But it was different for us.
It's just 6 km. from
Offenbach to Frankfurt's banking district,
but they are worlds apart.
Here,
there is record unemployment,
and little public housing.
More than half
of all offenses are committed by minors.
Where we grew up,
our childhood was fucked, man.
But we were a crew. We all smoked weed.
School was shit.
Marktplatz was my front yard.
Everybody I knew took drugs.
I grew up
on the streets of Frankfurt-Offenbach.
Like, I was an actual street kid.
I was in Offenbach every day,
and Marktplatz every night.
I'd say, "I'm going to school."
But I didn't go to school.
I'd go to Marktplatz to sell drugs.
You feel me?
There was a drug dealer
on every street corner.
Looking back, we were three kids
who took the only path available to us,
because we had no one
to show us a different way.
Everyone just wants a piece, you know?
Even kids.
A baggie for ten Marks, two for 20.
Small-time stuff.
I just made a little pocket change.
One time, I stole some money from my dad.
And, uh, I spent it all on CDs.
He came home one day and said,
"Aykut, you want some CDs?
I'll get whatever you want."
I said, "Bring me
every single hip-hop CD that exists."
"That's all I wanna hear.
Hip-hop, hip-hop, hip-hop."
You couldn't talk to me. All I had
in my head was music, music, music.
Oh dude
This is Aykut Anhan
Hermann-Steinhuser-Strae, Mainpark
Oh dude
Offenbach stays rough
Hermann-Steinhuser-Strae
Mainpark, chab
Forever Nordend
Goetheplatz, Bsing-Park
Brother, this place burns
Hey, brother!
YOUTH CENTER
Hey! Turn it up, bro!
Okay.
-Yeah.
-This is Haftbefehl.
Yeah.
Yep!
I'm making you a fanatic
Or the WMD
I set up a Kickstarter and drink it
The early days.
FRANK HUTH SOCIAL WORKER
We had a sound system,
but it was really crappy.
Yeah!
He always had the mic
right up against his mouth,
like he was gonna chew it up.
He was a maniac.
The more outlets we offered him,
the more intense it got.
I skip sports meetings
I keep going my way
Get totally awake
It's all right, hard like film
No one believed in me.
They laughed at me.
People on the street knew I could rap.
But the rest of the world
was, like, so far away, you know?
SHUT YOUR MOUTH
Hey, people. My name
is Haftbefehl, real music.
Yo, people, what's up? Haftbefehl.
What's up, people? Haftbefehl.
What's up, people? Haftbefehl.
German rap is a bitch
And Haft is the pimp
What I do is too gangsta
A Kurd. Very tall guy.
Calls himself Haftbefehl.
He's gonna blow everybody away.
SL-Benzes and that
With chrome rims
I was a fan from day one.
I knew right away, this dude is sick.
He's not afraid to say anything.
And not in standard German.
In street slang. In anti-social language.
Real talk. And totally in your face.
There's no one else
that can rap the way he does.
JAN DELAY MUSICIAN
It has nothing to do with street rap
versus hip-hop.
He's in his own category.
And the rest die
Get the city on crack
I make cash, azzlack
Flip that candy, make scratch
The city's mine
This is Babo-Haft, you've heard of me
This mixing in
other languages
Arabic, French, English.
Is unique to his music,
and creates a kind of ghetto Esperanto.
Chab, what's up?
Azzlack has fame
See how he makes money
Karda, get out our way
We're a global power
S-Class, black-Matt
Mercedes from Benz suits me, chab
Real hard
Like a leather jacket from Belstaff
This isn't German
What I'm doing is Kanacki
You know this is Haft
Little kahba, siktir, bas git
Call that rap? What I do
Suddenly,
"lamp" rhymes with "fridge".
How does he do that?
FRIZZO DJ & MUSIC PRODUCER
Kanacki.
If you think she's hot
Now what?
I grab you
Oh man, you immediately
hear that "Krr, krr."
Who makes sounds like that in a song
to show you he's loading his gun?
This is Haft-to-befehl
Sick
It's so immediate.
You can't escape it.
People instantly feel the aura he carries.
His energy is electric. As an artist, I
really respect his ability to create that.
PETER FOX MUSICIAN
He's holding up a mirror to young people,
you know? They're struggling and damaged.
LIZ RAPPER
Thirteen fifty
For a kilo of hash
Nougg3apreis, asahbi
I love my city
You know?
That's why so many young people
relate to him.
-Haftbefehl.
-Haftbefehl.
-Hafti, of course.
-Hafti is just better.
He has this flow.
He's the best rapper in Germany.
For me, he's Germany's only rap star.
With each album, Aykut got bigger.
First, there was Azzlack Stereotyp,
then Kanacki, and then Blockplatin.
And "Chabos" was on Blockplatin.
You couldn't ignore him.
Chabos know who Babo is
Hafti Abi is the one
Sitting in the Lambo or Ferrari
Saudi-Arabi
And then, it exploded.
Watch, don't mess around
Or I'll come break your nose
Things moved fast.
Bam, bam, bam.
Haftbefehl here, Haftbefehl there.
COLOGNE
This jacket squeaks. It's weird.
-Hi, wife, how are you?
-Hi, husband.
Them again?
I built a house.
My kids are moving in now.
-Me too, of course.
-What are you doing?
The house is nice, right?
Yes, very.
-Yeah.
-It's really, really nice.
-It cost me enough.
-Come and see.
-Did you go to the doctor today?
-No.
Go tomorrow.
Don't remind me. Now I have acid reflux.
STUDIO RECORDING
Let it roll, let it roll.
Hafti
Blanco!
Cho
Okay
I reload the pump gun
Baba H raps and shares his mindset
With all Alamanya
Digga, digga, digga.
The album will be done today!
Ho, ho!
More than ten years
Of street rap
For your ghetto blaster
Real reporting
Direct from Radio Frankfurt Station
Candy comes in avocados
Pots are burnt from grass
When I do something I love,
and music is an example of that,
I really throw myself into it, you know?
Ready to hand, accurate
I keep mixing, narco
He's uncompromising.
It's really intense and extreme.
But that's why
I love to make music with him.
MUSIC PRODUCER
Because it matters. He never holds back.
Valentino, color black
Half a kilo of gear
-Use that?
-No, bro. The one before.
Go back, go back, go back!
Okay.
That's where I need to come in. I know.
Yeah, I got it.
Don't underestimate him.
He's a musical genius.
He knows exactly what he's doing.
Because I'm the shit
In Europe
Bitch, it's Babo Haft
Sick.
I reload the pump gun
Baba H brings the drive-by soundtrack
For everyone in Frankfurt
I reload the pump gun
Stop, stop.
Yes, my love?
Look at this.
Your iced tea is number one.
We're all so proud of you.
My iced tea is number one, okay?
I'm recording now, love.
I'll call you back, okay?
-Aliyah, Noah!
-Oh, my kids. Hold on.
Tell Daddy you're proud of him.
Daddy, I'm proud of you.
Oh yeah?
Where's Aliyah?
Daddy, where are you?
At work, honey.
Say bye.
Honey, look what he's wearing.
Is that your favorite shirt?
-I love you, too, baby. See you soon.
-See you soon.
-Bye.
-Bye.
Let's do a thank-you video.
Number one in What's the website?
-Beverage Award.
-What?
Beverages Award.
Hear that? We're number one on there.
-No, keep that. It's good.
-No.
Why? It's funny.
Hello, friends.
I want to thank all of you for making us
the number one iced tea in Germany.
By the Beverage-Meverage
I need to record now.
You guys with your iced teas,
and dners, and burgers and
I see my world
In black, white, and red
I don't really
listen to German rap.
I put the candy
On the scales, fresh from the kitchen
That edgy stuff
was never my thing.
But I thought, "Okay, That's his music.
That's his art. That's his thing."
HAFTBEFEHL'S WIFE
Okay, let's rehearse.
-On the flight...
-Put it there.
Yo!
Okay!
-It's a whole other world, right?
-Okay!
I don't wanna know what my mother
thinks about it. I never asked her.
Chabos know who Babo is
Hafti Abi is the one
Sitting in the Lambo and Ferrari
Saudi-Arabi money rich
I don't know how she feels
about who her daughter is with.
Good morning, friends. We're awake.
I've been awake
a little longer than this guy here.
I'm the shit, dude.
I'm camera ready.
His personality, his vibe
There's just something about him.
Look at this.
-What is that?
-Do you have that?
I don't have that.
Well, you're not superhuman.
My organs are different
than other people's.
And I can also fly, by the way.
Right.
And fall flat on your face.
Hey, Louis Vuitton!
Louis Vuitton. Where is it?
Let me find a place to park.
My cap is from Louis.
My T-shirt is from Louis.
My jogging pants, my shorts,
my shoes, all from Louis.
And your underwear.
My underwear is from Aldi.
No one sees them.
What do they say? You can take
the boy out of the ghetto, but
I'm Hafti.
Aykut Anhan.
Sometimes.
-Always.
-Always.
Should we start with the intro?
Or jump right in?
Start with the intro.
REHEARSAL OPEN AIR FRAUENFELD
The lights go out right here.
When it comes to his music,
he's all in.
Baba Julius Caesar?
In the beginning, I thought, "Whoa."
"Am I gonna be able
to compete with all of this?"
Play the whole intro,
so he gets a feel for it.
I also had a real fear of loss.
Because suddenly, everything went boom,
and I thought,
"Now, I'll never get my old Aykut back."
When Aykut walks down the street,
people appear out of nowhere.
Everyone who's been around him
has seen that.
"Hafti, Hafti, Hafti."
"Hafti Abi." "Abi, can we just"
Hafti, Abi!
In Turkish,
"Abi" means "big brother".
I understand why people say
he's the voice of our generation.
No one's ever listened to us before.
He's kind of like the sun for us.
He gives us hope.
Hafti gets us.
He gives voice
to what a lot of us are experiencing,
or have experienced.
He makes people feel like they're heard.
Check my odyssey
Mind's the pilot
What butterflies in my gut? Fuck Oli P.
Chasing money
Dodging Thorsten Beetz
It's like the world
is a house, and he's the support beam.
He's the girder. The main support.
If you remove it,
then the whole thing comes down.
Aykut is the pillar holding up the house.
No hiccups, no mistakes.
It has to be smooth.
-Got it.
-A1, bro. All right, let's go.
I'm ready.
It's not really about the songs.
It's more about the people
standing in front of him.
Hafti! Hafti! Hafti! Hafti!
You become devoted to him.
Not just a fan.
You actually become his groupie.
If you're a Haftbefehl fan
and understand what Haftbefehl's saying,
you realize you're listening to someone
who knows what he's talking about.
Because he's lived it.
Make some noise
for the living legend, Haftbefehl!
069
Ah!
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
Cho
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
Blanco
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
Cho
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
What's up?
Automatic gun
What's up, Oliver?
Run as far as you can
I hope marathon was your hobby, chab
Headshot for the officer
Before he falls to the ground
When the shotgun bangs
Bitch, I wanna see dead people
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
Let the monkeys out the zoo
Let the monkeys out of the zoo
Azzlack, baba
Cho, cho, cho
I miss him
in the evenings.
When I sit here alone, I sometimes think,
"Hm, if I had a regular husband,
he'd finish his work day,
"and then he'd come home."
"Maybe we'd hang out,
watch a movie together, whatever."
Bro, we're heading to the after-party.
At the hotel? A club?
It's not easy
at the moment.
Let me just make the soup.
I'm alone with the kids 24/7.
I'm not a single mother,
but I almost kinda am.
I kinda am.
Is this all homework?
Yeah, it's not for me to do, Mr. Anhan.
Down, across and up.
-Great, that's amazing.
-I like it.
That's the best one.
I don't even have time to think,
"Am I lonely?"
I've just accepted it. It's his life.
It's his life.
He's a rock star.
Most artists actually live
a relatively structured life.
With Haft, you don't really know
what'll happen tomorrow.
Is that good or bad?
Hm
It matches his personality.
That's just Haft. He's impulsive.
If you want to throw a TV
out of a hotel window, go ahead.
I don't care.
But just be where you're supposed to be
when you're supposed to be there.
One time,
we all holed up in the studio
to work on the The White Album.
-And we waited for him for two days.
-Depression in the ghetto
At 11 pm, he shows up
to his own video shoot.
He's three and a half days late,
and then just suddenly shows up.
Sometimes, things happen
with Aykut, and he just doesn't show up.
And you try to make sense of it.
Guess where he said Aykut was.
At the dentist.
"Hey, bro. I'll be right there."
There's the music industry,
and there's Haftbefehl.
No one can control him.
You never know what you're gonna get.
We're sitting there,
and we improvise some bullshit.
Then he calls ten minutes later
and says everything's fine.
I'm like, "Okay."
"Maybe tomorrow."
Depression in the ghetto
Forget SOS, no one's coming to save you
What do you think
about hoodies
where you can zip the hood all the way up?
I think they had them in New York,
like, five or ten years ago,
but they were banned because
too many people wore them to rob stores.
We wanted to present the brand,
the complete Haftbefehl package,
to a wider audience at the OMR Festival.
Thousands of people in front of the stage,
prime time for that kind of event.
It's the most important event
in a marketing manager's calendar.
So, what can I say?
As moderator, I usually have
the fantastic job of introducing people.
Unfortunately, in this case,
things are a little different.
Haftbefehl canceled this morning
on very short notice.
Fuck!
In 2019, we extended Aykut's contract.
We put together a huge
contract-signing event here in Berlin.
All the big shots
from Universal were there.
But no Aykut.
It was like a movie.
A bright red Ferrari.
He steps out, shades on, cap on backwards.
"Ah, Max!"
I look down, he's not wearing shoes.
He's wearing hotel slippers.
He says, "Here I am."
I say, "Great, you're here."
He's like, "Come on, it's all good."
I can tell
he hasn't slept much.
Aykut comes in. It's chaos.
He's loud, yelling.
At one point,
he had our CEO in a headlock,
and I'm thinking,
"Oh God, please make it stop."
Forever rich
He takes the contract,
holds it against the wall,
puts the pen in his mouth,
and signs it like this.
You know, you know
Forever rich
I mean, we're all like,
"Yeah, that's just how he is."
"That's Haftbefehl."
But at a certain point, I realized
It's funny until it isn't funny anymore.
Mannheim.
That was the day it went public.
I wanna thank you all for being here.
You've been here from the start.
I remember it well.
I was booked that day too.
I was on right before him.
Have fun today.
Please welcome my brother to the stage!
I went off stage after my set.
He came out, and he was
I'd never seen him like that.
Hello.
Mannheim!
What's up, dude?
What's up?
Right.
And then we had a huge fight.
He treated me like I didn't exist.
He wouldn't listen to me.
I didn't recognize my own brother.
I didn't look good.
Hafti
barely managed to hold on.
He couldn't even complete a full sentence.
A slap in the face for his fans.
nearly destroyed
his whole career.
TOTALLY HIGH, FALLS OVER, DRUGS
When that happened, we were getting ready
to release the album Mainpark.
Aykut was about to go on tour.
We had to cancel everything.
CANCELLED
HAFTBEFEHL PRESS
UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE TO CANCEL THE TOUR
FOR HEALTH REASONS.
MY BODY NEEDS A BREAK.
I started drugs at 13.
At first, I smoked weed.
But I lost interest in that
when I discovered cocaine.
Twenty-five years, man.
I didn't know what it was.
I sank further and further
into a drug pit.
At first, it was every three or four days.
Then every other day.
With more money, more coke.
I called Neffi.
"Neffi, he likes you. Please talk to him."
And he stepped up.
Yeah, Mannheim
It made me deeply sad.
And for the first time, I felt like
I didn't wanna meet with him
as an executive from Universal.
I needed to talk to him,
and find out what was going on with him
as Neffi.
And so I went to Aykut's hotel.
He'd shut himself in,
and hadn't come out for several days
I'M IN THE HOTEL
It was ridiculous.
He was three floors up.
I was three floors below.
And we communicated by text.
I basically said,
"I'm not leaving until you come out
and we drive together to a clinic."
I slept for eight days.
Eight days!
I was totally wiped out.
I woke up, took some pills,
and went back to sleep.
Woke up, pills, sleep.
I didn't know what I was taking.
I just took whatever they gave me.
After eight days,
I went to therapy for the first time.
I felt like a ghost.
I was seeing shadows.
And the therapist
Do you know what she said?
"You're going to die."
I was like, "Why would I die?"
"I've been snorting coke for 23 years.
It's all these people, not the coke!"
I said, "I'm outta here."
"I'm outta here. I'm outta here."
"Fuck it."
I got my stuff
and I split
without another word.
Aykut said no to therapy.
And, you know, he's a force of nature.
If he doesn't want it, then,
that's it.
I would have felt bad
if I'd had a say in it.
If I had asked for it.
But people don't understand if they
haven't lived through it themselves.
I started doing coke when I was 13.
I'm 38.
The price for this life
is very high.
That's show business.
It's the fucking stage.
And you always
have to be able to put on a smile.
I can't think of any other job
where if you can't fake a smile,
there can be
a lot of negative consequences.
You know what I mean?
But you can't always smile.
So you try to get happy
by other means, you know?
It's hard.
I take care of everyone.
And when I've made sure
that everyone's okay,
I just wanna get high.
Crawl into my hole and get high.
In a couple of days, I come back.
And it starts all over.
I have to make sure everyone's okay again.
"Ha ha, you You
Gucci here, Gucci there."
"Mercedes here, Mercedes there."
"Baba, Baba, handle the business."
Two days later, I'm back in the hole.
Back in the hole.
Over there.
I have to wake up Daddy.
Hello?
Is everything okay?
This is your first vacation, right?
Here, look.
Yes.
-You thought I wouldn't come?
-Yeah, I never know with you.
Babe, are we taking a taxi to the airport?
Should I call?
-Call one.
-Yeah? Okay.
How long are we staying? One week or two?
Careful, angel.
Our connection isn't as strong as it was.
It's really gone downhill.
We've been annoying each other lately.
I'll take you to the airport
and come later.
Kids, you can go ahead.
I'll get everything together okay?
Haftbefehl has damaged a lot.
Sometimes, I wish
I could have my old life back.
Just be normal again.
But that's not possible.
Hello.
How many roses did you get?
Two hundred.
Yeah, from who?
From you!
From your secret admirer.
That was a lovely time.
Look, look!
We played around all the time.
Did so much silly stuff.
We were like kids.
When he says he'll go on vacation with us,
I pretty much expect that
he won't come.
He can't leave it behind.
I don't think he actually wants any of it.
But he can't stop.
I wasn't cut out
for that kind of life. That isn't me.
Unfortunately, it's not me.
My life's not like on TV. You know?
I'm never gonna be
the dad in the Kellogg's commercial.
You know what I mean?
I'm Haft. I'm Aykut. I'm Celal's son.
You know what I'm saying?
My father had an aura.
How can I explain it?
When my father walked down the street,
no matter where he was,
people turned their heads
and stared at him.
It was the way he carried himself,
with this powerful energy, this vibe.
And he had that style in person too.
My father wore Versace, Armani.
His clothes were worth a fortune
back then.
He'd wear a suit maybe three or four times
and then throw it away.
My father had one of the first
live music casinos in Frankfurt.
It was the best casino
in southern Germany.
The biggest Turkish artists
played for him.
A lot of people with money
flocked to him.
Gamblers, mafia guys,
drug dealers. You name it.
People who'd made a name for themselves.
And they threw a lot of money around.
On a grand scale.
I remember him
He'd come home
for a few hours at a time, to sleep.
Then he'd change, grab a couple of suits,
and then he'd be gone
for another three or four days.
That's how it was
for as long as I can remember.
Aykut! Aykut!
I played with the Kickers
for eight years.
He never watched practice.
Never came to a game. Nothing.
I'd lie to myself and think,
"Maybe he was there,
but just didn't say anything." You know?
I did pretty well with the Kickers too.
But he never saw that.
I didn't understand it.
We never knew what he did.
Aytac didn't know, Aykut didn't know,
and I didn't know either.
We were told he was in real estate.
To this day, I don't know what he did.
We do know one thing.
He was very, very rich.
He earned a lot of money.
But, somehow, we still lived
on the seventh floor of a high rise
in one of the most
fucked-up areas of Frankfurt.
Gambled all the time.
Like a professional.
One roll of the dice, 200,000 Marks.
Two rolls, 400,000.
Three rolls, 600,000. And so on.
Hardcore gambler.
Couldn't live without it.
He'd get cleaned out every night.
It was nothing to him.
He'd win it back the next day.
People would say,
"He got the money from somewhere."
To this day, no one knows where.
But I know there used to be
a lot of money hidden at home.
And he had a white carpet.
That carpet covered his entire bedroom.
Two million Marks under the rug.
One day, he's rich. A week later,
he's in debt. Round and round.
My father was unique.
But eventually,
the moment came when it all
changed.
Everything changed
a lot.
Make some noise
for the living legend, Haftbefehl!
-Hey, bro.
-Hey, brother.
-Yo, man.
-Someone's a legend when they're dead.
What? Nah, bro.
A legend
is what you call a dead person.
You're a living
rap legend, brother.
A living legend? No way.
A legend is already dead, right?
I'm still here. See? Still alive.
Sing it with me!
06-069, cho
-Rothschild theory
-Gonna commit murder now
Azzlack
Open the gates to Hell
Guns are fired
While you rap over headphones
I'm, I'm the pimp
German rap is my brothel
Welcome to 06-069, cho
06-069
06-069, cho
Aykut is
the loveliest guy in the world.
But Haftbefehl is dangerous.
He's a danger to himself too.
Because Haftbefehl has no fear.
The rap star is the rock star.
I think it's easier for him
to be Haftbefehl than to be Aykut Anhan.
Because Aykut Anhan has a family,
and he has to take care of them.
And I think that's a huge battle
that he's always fighting with himself.
06-069
Thank you, Zurich! Thank you!
Thank you! Thank you!
Slowly, slowly, slowly.
This way.
Close the door, honey.
I love Aykut.
Not Haftbefehl.
Can I take this off?
Yeah, you can take that off, honey.
He talks about his dad a lot.
He's never fully processed it.
My father
was strange.
He was strange. He was like
He'd sit by himself.
Then he'd get up.
He'd yell at me and my brother
for playing too loud.
My father was
extremely strict.
He made me feel safe and full of fear
at the same time.
Later on, he started hitting us
when he got depressed.
He couldn't control his temper, you know?
And then
things got real.
Seventh floor.
I went up.
I opened the door.
I was like, "Hello?"
I hear someone struggling,
gasping for breath.
I follow the sound.
I open the door and see my father.
There's a towel around his neck
and he's strangling himself.
His eyes were popping out.
He was almost gone.
Suddenly, he slapped me. Pow!
I was scared.
He looked at me and started laughing.
He said, "Are you trying
to save your dad?"
I was awake all night.
I couldn't sleep.
Went to school the next day.
I sat in the hallway until 6 a.m.
'cause I was scared he'd die.
You know, it wasn't easy,
what we all went through.
And you can't hold it against Aykut
when he says,
"I really didn't know
how to cope with it," or,
"I haven't been able to process
all the shit that happened."
When you know exactly what he went through
and how it all went down,
you cut him some slack.
This is crap.
Why? Why?
I still remember.
It was the 2nd July,
and it was raining hard.
I came in. My brother was there.
My mother saw me and started crying.
I knew it was over.
Aykut smashed his head
against the wall.
Everyone tried to stop him.
I said, "Let him get his anger out."
Yeah, I was angry.
I was fucking angry.
I left the house, ran up to my neighbor,
and punched him in the face.
For no reason.
"Asshole! Why didn't your father die?"
At that point, I was already
pretty fucked up psychologically.
I didn't even realize it, you know?
The only time I cried
was when I saw my little brother.
Yeah. Whenever I saw him,
I'd start crying.
He was so young. So sweet.
I was like, "He's my little one.
I have to be here for him now."
Aykut was like a father to me.
100%.
Yeah.
I mean,
some people write songs
as a way to work through their trauma.
And that's the most important thing
when it comes to trauma.
That you talk about it, and get it out,
and hopefully let it go.
He's been carrying around
the trauma of his past since he was 13.
That's why he talks about it in his songs.
I don't even want to think about what he'd
be like if he didn't have these songs.
The street is my teacher
School sucked
Dad leaving was real hard
I curse that day
My youth shattered like a glass
I was 14 years old at the time
The street took me in its arms
And never let go
Why was I born? Say "Yallah"
Leben, life, hayat
Leben, life, hayat
Leben, life, hayat
Life
There's a series of songs
on Haftbefehl's albums called "1999".
Six parts, over three albums.
And it's probably
the most honest and raw journal
in the history of German rap.
There's these voice messages
between him and Bazzazian, the producer.
They're literally therapy sessions
recorded on an album.
Bro, I've been writing nonstop.
I need to take a break.
I poured myself into this album.
The lyrics I'm sending you,
that you're listening to, bro,
every word, every line,
is true, brother.
These lines break walls
Like Pink Floyd
Deep messages in your face
Bro, enjoy
Three grams of coke in my blood
Liters of Blue Label when I booze
Twenty years of drugs
Why I act schizophrenic
Most people love Haftbefehl
because he's in your face
and creating anthems to chant.
But for me,
what I love is the incredible
vulnerability he expresses in his lyrics.
Such pure honesty that
Let me put it this way.
If I was part of his family,
it would scare me.
Do I worry about my brother?
He's my brother.
Of course I worry about him.
Abi!
-Guys, can you turn off the cameras?
-Yep.
Babo.
I mean, it's not something
that happened overnight.
It developed over a period of time.
And you're fighting an uphill battle.
Because that stuff really is the devil.
It's poison that
completely changes people.
At first, you don't wanna believe it,
because you've known
that person for years.
But then suddenly,
he's doing things he never used to do.
It's like you don't recognize him anymore.
And when you realize that,
especially as his brother,
that's a completely different story.
It's a totally different thing.
I think Aykut is the most
unpredictable artist that we work with.
And we do a lot of shows with him.
But you can't
plan anything.
I mean, it's impossible
to plan things with Aykut.
The idea was to organize
a big birthday concert for Aykut
at the Jahrhunderthalle in Frankfurt.
HAFT IS COMING HOME
The concert sold out immediately.
But the problem, as always,
was that we hadn't heard from Aykut.
It looks okay?
Come in.
Hey! Come on in.
Oh. Oh, he's peeing. He's peeing.
Ah, shit.
Up!
Did Aykut already get the stuff?
-Because it's getting tight, time-wise.
-For sure, brother.
-You know the doors open at 8:00, right?
-Yeah, bro.
So we need to leave
by 7:30 at the latest.
Got it.
The DJ is stuck in traffic. He'll be here
by 5:00. We'll finish everything then.
HAFTBEFEHL'S DRIVER
Sabri and the others are there already.
You work on it for eight months.
No one knows
whether it's going to happen or not.
With him, you just never know
what's going to happen.
Easy, easy.
Take your time.
-You okay?
-Yeah.
-Something to drink?
-I'm good.
He always says he's fine.
"I'm fine."
"I don't look that bad."
I've realized that a person
has to figure it out for themselves.
There's no other way. I tried everything.
From separating, to taking the children.
From moving here, to
moving away for good.
Nothing worked. Nothing.
Every now and then I'd think,
"Okay, it's gonna get better," but no.
It's the same.
It's fine.
Kids started lining up at 2:00
in the afternoon, waiting to get in.
The concert hall, with all the equipment
and everything else,
it cost six figures to rent,
and he probably won't even show up.
I didn't even rehearse.
I straight up missed rehearsal. Fuck.
The dog's staying here.
Can we leave?
No.
Dude, I have a concert
in front of 7,000 people. I gotta go!
-He wants to drive.
-I'm gonna drive.
-Are you for real?
-Like this?
You have
to put it in drive, Nina. Shift it again.
Not yet.
Slowly, honey. Please, stop!
Yeah, I got it, dude! Okay, man.
Hafti!
Hey, where's VIP?
Haft walks into the room
You know you're big
I have the aura, all eyes on me
Because it's your dream, you envy me
You think you're the shit?
I don't think so!
Great to see you, man
Can you take this off? It's really
starting to bother me, you know?
You can't stop him,
no matter what it is.
He says yes to everything.
Even when he's feeling so terrible
that he's lying on the floor.
So many times I've said,
"Please, just cancel."
No. He's going. He's going.
-Is it time?
-You're seven minutes late.
If my nose starts bleeding,
whoever has the mic needs to tell me.
And keep checking it for blood.
-I'll let you know.
-I can't tell.
Shit.
With Haftbefehl, or with me,
everyone's like, "He doesn't give a fuck."
That's what they'd say.
"He doesn't give a fuck."
"He doesn't care about anything."
And I don't.
The only thing I care about is the music.
The only thing I care about is the music.
Aykut, we have to go.
I saw him before it started,
and he did not look good.
I thought to myself,
"This isn't gonna work."
"There's no way this is going to happen."
Hafti! Hafti! Hafti!
Then he steps on stage and
the crowd goes wild.
Okay, 069
The area code
Now things get brutal
Hit you bad
No reason, no morals
I'm young, I'm wild, I'm antisocial
Fuck Arnold
I'm Conan the Barbarian
Somehow, he delivered.
He was there, and he was in it.
And I mean he was really there.
But still, privately, I was thinking,
"We're not gonna make it to his birthday."
No matter what he does,
it always looks
like he's gonna mess everything up.
But he always winds up being amazing.
And that's what makes him
a fucking rock star.
I was born
for this shit, you know?
All I need is a mic and a beat.
In the end,
Aykut was on stage for three hours.
He put everything he had
into making it happen.
Hands up. All the way up!
He called all his rap friends,
and everyone came.
Encore! We want more!
Encore! We want more!
Encore!
If you love music,
now and always
I'll make music until I die.
It was, like, a week after the concert.
Cem calls me.
I answer.
"Yussef, Aykut's in the hospital."
What?
"Aykut's in the hospital. He's dying."
I go to the hospital,
and head straight to the ER.
"I'm looking for Aykut Anhan."
"He's not here," she says.
I'm desperate, running around everywhere.
And then I see an ambulance pulling up.
EMERGENCY ROOM
They open the door.
All I see are his feet.
I thought he was dead.
Tears just hit me.
It got so bad
they had to resuscitate Aykut.
I overdosed on coke.
This is what happened.
I got into a fight with my brother.
I wasn't in my right mind, okay?
I said, "I'm gonna kill myself."
I went to the hotel, alone.
I checked into a suite.
A gram here, a gram there.
Another and another.
Every 20 minutes.
The bag was empty. I couldn't believe it.
My nose was bleeding.
My eyes were tearing up
because my nose was burning really bad.
It was intense.
I passed out,
and woke up in intensive care.
Aykut!
Finally, he opened his eyes.
"Hey. Am I dead?"
"Abi, no, you're not dead. You're here."
He totally flipped out.
He was really angry.
How is that you escape death, and then,
the first thing you do is get mad
because you didn't die?
It wasn't a good feeling.
I was scared when I came to.
All I saw was black, dude.
I just remember
I was shouting,
and pulling all the wires off myself.
I wanted to get out. And keep going.
They wanted me to stop.
They were upset seeing me like that.
"Mr. Anhan, pull yourself together."
Then I got out and kept going.
Right away. Ten grams.
"MAN IN THE MIRROR" 2013 SONG
Mirror,
mirror on the wall
I look at you, but who is that man?
Dammit
Am I losing my mind?
You're a mirror
But who is that man?
I didn't recognize him
And I'm starting to get scared
How many years have gone by?
I don't just ask the watch on my arm
But the clock on the wall
First the street, then a star
Then the fall
Like your father
Who no one helped back then
I'm done with all your games
And yell, "Fuck you all"
And shoot myself with the pump gun
In the nut
Man in the mirror
Man in the mirror
"Man in the Mirror"
was crazy.
Like he already knew
what would happen to him.
It shapes your life,
whether you like it or not.
You have to come to terms
with something like that.
And you need support.
You can't do it alone.
It's depression.
My grandma,
her brother killed himself.
My father's youngest brother
killed himself.
My father's father,
his brother killed himself.
My father took his own life.
Eventually you ask yourself,
"Okay, my father did it. Why shouldn't I?"
There's one thing about my brother.
Nothing scares him.
The only thing reining him in
is the people he loves.
Are you in pain?
Let's go to the doctor.
Come.
I want to show you something.
I want to show you those two.
That's my son, Noah.
That's my baby, Aliyah.
That was on her birthday.
And that's a piece of shit.
I'm the piece of shit on the left.
But he loves his kids. I do love my kids.
What's it called again?
"In my garden, in my garden.
In my garden"
"A raven builds its nest."
What's it called?
Here. You know Reinhard Mey?
In my
garden, in my garden
The delphinium bloomed blue
Amongst the weeds
In my garden
Among the weeds in my garden
Where the other flowers wither
Flowers wither
FOR DADDY ON HIS BIRTHDAY
In my roof, in my roof
A raven builds its nest
And under my crumbling roof
Under my crumbling roof
Where the wind blows
through the beams
Where the wind
Blows through the beams
Brutal song, dude.
Whoa. Heavy.
In my life, in my life
She lost her way and found me
And she took up space in my life
Space in my narrow life
And created confusion in my mind
Created confusion in my mind
I gave her what I had
Of reason and understanding
I gave her my soul
May the good Lord forgive me
Because I had
nothing else to give her
Because I had
nothing else to give her
SHORTLY AFTER THE CONCERSit down.
Why didn't you
cancel the show?
Why should I?
Because your doctor
said your life is at risk.
What should I do?
-Go to the hospital.
-And then?
Get treatment
so you don't die.
And then?
-You'll feel better.
-And then?
-You'll keep getting better.
-And then?
-You'll feel good.
-And then?
-Let's take a break.
-Keep rolling.
-Just for a bit.
-No, no. Keep rolling, keep rolling.
I don't give a shit. You want to see me?
Here. Here I am.
-I have to go.
-Go then.
-I have to leave now.
-So go.
But then I'm out.
-Call me tomorrow?
-I'll quit the documentary.
I need the mic.
-Give me the camera.
-Hm?
Give me the camera.
Give me the camera!
Assalam.
Bye.
Okay. Let's go.
Out!
Get out, you bastards.
Allah will help me destroy these demons.
Allah, destroy these sons of bitches.
I'll fuck your mother,
you sons of bitches.
You sons of bitches. Fucking assholes.
Get out!
Get out!
Get out, you sons of bitches. Out!
Get out, motherfuckers! Out!
I sit on the edge
Of the log roof
And let the classics float
And I think while I count the stars
How much longer
Will the Earth keep turning?
Not much longer, as long as
It carries the devil on its shoulders
Blow the scars out of my soul
My childhood was cursed
Chisel the lines onto the walls
And blood is my ink
I yell as loud as I can
Into the Earth's atmosphere
"Dear God, will this be the night
That I die?"
If I die,
what remains?
Haftbefehl the junkie?
Or Haftbefehl the musician?
Looking for God
'Cause they give me hell
'Cause they give me hell
'Cause they give me hell
Looking for God
'Cause they give me hell
'Cause they give me hell
'Cause they give me hell
It got to the point where we knew
that if we didn't do something now,
he would die.
Or at the very least,
be damaged for the rest of his life.
We had to take control of the situation.
The only way
to help anyone in this condition
is to take the choice away from them.
He clearly said, "Forget it."
He said it to my face. "Forget it.
I'm not coming to Turkey with you."
He wasn't having it. He wanted
absolutely nothing to do with this clinic.
But he's my brother,
and I'm seeing this through to the end.
If I give up, I'll lose him.
I didn't give up.
It took me six months to persuade him
to come to the clinic with me.
He saw what was up.
He asked me, "What are you planning?"
I said, "I just want you to be well.
That's all I want."
"Just talk to the doctor."
They asked questions.
He answers the questions, but kinda like
"Nah" You know.
He's playing them.
Not taking it seriously.
Then the psychologist says to him,
"We have to take away your phone."
That got his attention.
"Are you kidding me?!
Do I look like a child to you?"
I thought, "Great,
the whole plan is screwed."
I nod to the doctor and he says,
"You know what? We'll make an exception."
He signs. And then
he really starts to stress.
I say, "They just wanna check you."
But what he didn't notice?
He had signed papers
that gave me
power of attorney.
They got into the elevator.
On the other side of this elevator
is a locked institution.
I'm still talking to the psychologist,
and my phone rings.
He still had his phone.
I answer and he says, "If you don't
get me out of here, you'll be sorry."
"I swear to god,
you don't want me as your enemy."
I say, "Okay, hold on, I'll get you out.
Don't worry. I promise I'll get you out."
I switch my phone to airplane mode,
and set it down.
He's staying put.
It was like someone
had poured hot water over my head.
I felt like I left my body.
Locking up your own brother?
It's like locking up a part of yourself.
Honestly, without therapy,
I'd be dead by now.
I was dead, practically.
I couldn't feel anything.
It's hard to describe.
Drugs change everything.
Ice cream!
-Ice cream?
-Yeah.
Aliyah.
Cocaine destroys your soul.
Life is like a candle,
and we're the wick, right?
You take that stuff
and the wick burns down slowly, you know?
Eventually, the wick burns down to the end
and the candle is gone.
Kids! Let's buy some toys.
What up? When are you back?
-I'm back tomorrow.
-How are the kids?
Good. They're here.
Give them a big hi from me.
See you tomorrow.
Okay. Bye.
Hello?
You win some, you lose some.
But you can't give up.
I want my own drink.
You've never once
said to me,
"You can't show that.
I won't allow that. Cut."
-Why not?
-Why not?
What? I should lie?
No, I don't want that.
What's the truth, man?
You think I'm constantly surrounded
by naked women?
That's a hip-hop video, bro.
I've gotta be real.
You know what I'm saying?
This is what's real.
No, man.
I've gotta be real, bro.
BABO KURDISH FOR FATHER