Backwoods Blood Feud (2026) Movie Script
1
(tense music)
(fire crackling)
(suspenseful music)
(tense suspenseful music)
(blood squelching)
- Help me!
- Oh my God.
(creatures growling)
(creatures growling)
Get away from me.
(creature growling) - [Woman] No!
(creatures growling) (blood squelching)
- When I close my eyes, I
always can see what's coming.
Like sixth sense.
(man screaming)
(tense music)
- You're gonna be okay, okay?
Help me.
- [Zuri] He is gone.
- I'm sorry.
(man growling) (punches thud)
- What's your name, girl?
- Zuri.
- What's that mean?
- Angry princess.
(punches thud)
Listen, I do not need your help.
- Gotcha.
(necks breaks) (body thuds)
- We gotta get the hell outta here.
- [Man] Oh, they just keep coming.
- I told you, been through
this whole building.
There's no way out.
We're locked up in here.
- Listen, there's always a way.
- Here.
Luckily I found a key.
(door opens)
(dramatic suspenseful music)
- You ever ask Zenia why she
needs such a big crew for this?
Seems like overkill to me.
And why she spell her name was a Z?
I mean, end of the alphabet.
It seems like a bad sign to me.
- I'm so sorry.
But this gonna be delicious.
(creatures growling)
- What the hell is taking them so long?
- Aren't you tired?
- What do you mean?
(soft guitar music)
- Nothing.
(people screaming)
You know this is gonna work out for us
and the best part is that no one gets hurt.
(people screaming)
- Please, please, don't.
What's in this case,
it's worth more than you
could spend in like two lifetimes.
All of you.
You don't have to do this.
Please, please just-(gun booms)
(body thuds)
- What the hell?
What part of don't hurt
anybody's you not understand?
- She was reaching.
- For what?
She didn't do a damn thing.
- Candy, Hurt, get your butts in gear.
- [Hurt] Well, let's just
grab what we came here for.
- [Candy] Do you
really think it's all that?
- Don't open it up now.
- Wasn't gonna.
(soft guitar music)
- Ew!
How do you know she doesn't have a disease
like hepatitis or whatnot?
- [Candy] Mom always
said if you don't take big risk,
you don't get big rewards.
- Oh yeah?
And where's she at now?
What, like prison.
Didn't she die in there?
- You got a little red right there.
- All right.
I'm gonna hit the head.
- Oh my God.
I cannot sit through anymore of this trash.
- A total solo eclipse is an
amazing astronomical event
where the moon passes
between the earth and the sun
blocking out the sunlight
and creating a shadow on the earth.
- Total solar eclipses are pretty rare,
but we are gonna have one
in the northern hemisphere tomorrow.
It's going to last seven
and a half minutes.
I'm so excited for this.
(tense suspenseful music)
(door opens)
- Whose blood is that?
You said no one would get hurt.
- Don't worry about it.
I took care of it.
- Hey, is everything all right here?
- Copacabana, Daddi-o.
- What's going on?
What the hell happened, Candy?
What happened, tell me.
(guns booming) (body thuds)
- How the hell was he still alive?
(trunk closes)
(upbeat guitar music)
- We need to lose the phones.
- Hey, it means you too.
- Wait, did we get it?
Somebody tell me one little thing.
Did we at least... We got it.
We got it, man.
- Oh, okay, good.
- [Steve] What's with the watch?
- It was my grandpa's.
Where are we going?
- We need to find somewhere to lay low.
Meet up with our guy
somewhere off the grid.
Luckily I know just the place.
(upbeat rock music)
- [Steve] How much further is this place?
- [Zenia] Not too far.
We really need to get there before dawn.
(upbeat rock music)
Oh, up there.
Hang a right.
- Is this right?
Is this even a road?
- Where in the wild world
of sports are we, man?
- Pull over there.
(tires crunching)
Come on, we're late.
(soft guitar music)
- Are we here?
(door closes)
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
- [Candy] Your ace forger is here?
- They'll be here, let's just get inside.
- Hey, what's the rush?
- I'm with Zenia, let's go.
I don't wanna get mixed
up in whatever state we're in.
"Chainsaw Massacre."
- Jackpot.
(wind swooshing)
(can cracks)
(Candy spits)
- Don't do that.
- Fuck you, Smokey the bear.
It's flat.
(suspenseful music)
(twigs cracking)
- Let me see the keys.
Just wanna check on our stash.
- Hey.
No need. - Whatever.
- What the hell are we doing here?
- We're on the lam.
We are getting fake passports.
Hiding out from the cops.
You know, thug shit.
- You sure your guy's coming?
- They'll be here.
- Chill, girl.
What's the rush?
- I'm gonna go take a dump.
- Hey, hold up, nobody wander off alone.
- Unless you got plumbing in there,
I'm gonna go out here.
- [Zenia] Shit!
(soft suspenseful music)
- Hey man, don't forget to wipe.
(footsteps crunching)
(soft suspenseful music)
(belt clinking)
(soft suspenseful music) (birds chirping)
- [Zenia] Hurry up!
- You can't rush a man when
it comes to certain things.
Gosh!
(wind whistling)
What the hell?
(brunches cracking)
(tense suspenseful music)
(tense suspenseful music)
- Let's just get what we
came here for and get on out.
Oh hey, you must be the forger.
We're supposed to meet someone.
- I can't help you.
Now get!
- We should go.
- Yeah, I can get behind that.
- Freak that, mama needs her passport.
- Hey! - Just let her go.
- Yo, bitch?
- You should listen to your friend.
- Oh really?
(gun booms)
(belt clinking)
- What the hell's wrong with you?
- I'm getting what I came for.
- Candy, wait! - Where's Zenia?
- Don't move.
(tense suspenseful music) (wind whistling)
- Hello?
(tense suspenseful music)
- What have you done?
(tense suspenseful music)
- There you are.
- Candy, wait. (Candy shushing)
- Hey!
- Let's just get outta here.
- What about her?
- Forget about her.
(footsteps crunching)
(wind whistling)
- Listen to me, son.
It is not safe.
We need to get... Fuck this!
- Stevie!
(tense suspenseful music)
- [Steve] Zenia?
- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
Sorry. (Naja screams and whimpers)
- She's gonna call a fuzz
as soon as we're tail lights.
- I ain't call no one.
Even if I had a phone.
(Naja pants and whimpers)
Are you a doctor?
- I was a med student.
- Oh, what are you now?
(tense suspenseful music)
- Zenia?
The hell?
(twigs cracking)
(tense suspenseful music)
(Steve screaming) (blood hissing)
- Steve?
(blood squelching)
(tense suspenseful music)
Get out of my way.
- There's nothing you can do for him now.
It is too late.
(tense suspenseful music)
(Zenia whimpers and chokes)
(shovel slashes)
- You see that head pop off?
Yeah, boy, that's how you get her done.
(blood squirts)
(Zenia pants)
- Are you okay?
- Let's blow this pop stand.
- You step outside that
door and you'll get tore apart.
- Piss on this freaking turd.
I'm gonna go find Zenia.
What the ever-loving freak is that?
(blood squelching)
- [Hurt] What the hell?
(tense suspenseful music) (bones cracking)
(gun booming) (blood squelching)
(knife slashes) (blood squelching)
- Solid. - That'll make 'em
think twice, but they won't wait long.
- [Hurt] Are you all right, Fish?
(soft suspenseful music)
- There's nothing you can do for him now.
(tense suspenseful music)
There'll be more coming.
(tense suspenseful music)
He your kin?
- He was my brother.
- Revenge ain't going to have itself.
- What in the horror
movie hell are those things?
- Guardians.
- [Hurt] Whatever!
We should make for the car.
- Y'all won't make it.
- I might.
- If we can just wait until dust.
- Are you fruitsville?
It's like 9:00 am.
- What happens when it gets dark?
(tense suspenseful music)
(creatures screeching)
- They're coming for us.
(tense suspenseful music)
(creature screeching)
- [Candy] You guys aren't
gonna believe this tapy shit.
- They're gonna kill us all. - Not me.
I'm not dying here.
(guns booming)
- Reload.
- This ain't working.
Bitch, you're crazy?
- Play time's over.
(guns booming)
Save the small arms for close quarters.
(creatures screeching)
Get ready.
(guns booming)
Y'all wanna get outta here?
- How? - Follow me.
(tense suspenseful music)
(creatures screeching)
(door scraping)
It doesn't look like much,
but this tunnel runs
about 60 yards out back
behind the tree line.
- Are you high?
(tense suspenseful music)
(water dripping) (footsteps swooshing)
(tense suspenseful music)
(gun booms)
- Pass me back the other boomer.
- Let's bounce.
(tense suspenseful music)
(gun booms) (body thuds)
(water dripping)
(gun clicks)
(gun popping) (body thuds)
That was intense. (Hurt laughs)
(water drips) (Guardians chittering)
- Go, go!
(Fish whimpers)
(tense suspenseful music)
(gun clicks and booms)
(hammer thuds)
(tense suspenseful music)
(Guardians growls) (gun clicks and booms)
(tense suspenseful music)
(woman screams)
(wind swooshing)
(Hurt grunts) (footsteps crunching)
(Hurt coughs and grunts)
- That sucked.
They must have been buried.
We gotta get outta here.
Let's go!
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps crunching)
(Guardians screeching)
(gun booms) (bodies thud)
- Y'all see that?
My aim was true.
- Boom'ed 'em, bro.
- You see your head?
Vaporized, bubba.
- Stay frosty, igits!
- What's all this?
- This here are some
fresh meat for the grinder.
- [Kurt] Y'all late.
- Better hurry, they'll just
be more of 'em coming.
(birds chirping)
(leaves rustling)
(Fish gasps and pants) - What?
This just ain't my day.
- No, that, that was what
was keeping the blood in.
And you, you gotta keep pressure on it.
- All right, that'll do.
- No, it really won't.
(footsteps swooshing)
Wait, what's-(Naja shushes)
(birds chirping)
What are you doing?
- Covers up our scent.
(tense suspenseful music) (birds chirping)
(Guardians chittering)
(gun booms)
(gun booms)
- Good shot Annie Oakley.
(footsteps crunching)
(tense suspenseful music)
- Where's Fish?
- [Hurt] She didn't make it.
- [Candy] Where the hell were you?
- We were attacked.
These boys, they saved me.
- That's enough.
Let's get a move on.
- Wait, we have to go
back to look for our sister.
- She's gone.
- You don't know that.
- [Mike] You wanna waste
your time looking for her?
- I do. - You go right ahead.
I'm getting all these folks back home.
- But I'm gonna need a tracker.
- Me, let's go.
- No, not you, Ma's
gonna want to talk to you.
- [Aldy] You heard the man.
(water trickling)
- I know how you feel.
- Do you?
(water trickling) (melancholic music)
- I lost my brother a while back.
Almost tore my family apart.
(water splashing) (melancholic music)
We are never quite the same after that.
(water splashing)
- What's happening here?
Oh, we gotta dress that.
- I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine!
(melancholic music)
We gotta go.
(melancholic music)
(water trickling) (footsteps swooshing)
(wind swooshing)
(soft suspenseful music)
(footsteps swooshing)
- Why you let that
bleeding heart go after Naja
and take our best tracker with him?
Isn't being dead a good thing?
Ma wouldn't want-
(tense suspenseful music)
- What's going on. - Hush.
(footsteps crunching)
- That's a funny looking monkey.
You know our grandpa had a monkey.
- Excuse me?
- What does that mean? - A spider monkey?
- [Frazz] He sure did.
- Yeah, that big monkey, George.
He hurt me.
He did.
He jumped up, got his
teeth right in my forehead.
Bam!
- Bubba, but we all know the story.
I'm talking right now, okay?
- Sorry.
- Our grandmama Dotty
didn't much like the beastie.
- Dottie was a mean ol' cuss.
- I'm talking here!
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps swooshing)
(twigs crackling)
Anyway.
While that was in its cage,
grandma would poke and
tease at it with her cane.
She made it mean.
Now that monkey was smart
and eventually it figured
out how to open up that cage.
And when it got out, it went berserk.
It had literally attacked
anything that moved.
- Hey, hey.
You guys ever see NOPE?
- Most days grandma was slow moving.
- And she used to walk around like this.
- Did you not understand what I said?
I'm working here.
Excuse me, as I was saying,
most days she was pretty slow,
but when that monkey got out,
she was as spry as a spring chicken
and we'd all scatter all over the place.
We'd book it upstairs
and our sweet feeble little old grandma,
you picturing it?
She would lift us up one by one
and then throw us back down
those stairs at that damn monkey
so, she could get away
and she'd run upstairs,
run up into the bathroom and lock the door.
And you know what happened then?
Whichever of us were able to get up there,
we'd be knocking on that door.
We'd be begging and pleading,
please, granny let us in.
But you know what?
She wouldn't.
And well see that?
- Stow that shit, Bubba,
ain't no one wanna see that.
- Yes, ma'am.
(tense suspenseful music) (birds chirping)
- What do you got?
(tense suspenseful music)
- [Carl] All right, you
tourists better get ready.
- When I get a signal, run.
- What's the signal? - Go!
- You heard the man. - Move!
(guns booming and clicking)
- Run, I'll hold them off.
You come on, and you come
on and you come get Daddy!
(guns booming)
- Look at 'em run.
I nailed two.
- That's two less than I got.
- I think your math is off.
- Oh, hi Mike.
- She should have never
been out here alone.
- That's the way Ma wanted it.
Check it, three sets of
tracks went off that way.
- What do people want?
- We just trying to land a helping hand.
- Where y'all folks from?
- Hey, shut up.
- I ain't never been nowhere.
- Okay.
- Hey, Zeek, watch our asses.
We gotta get these fine folks home safe.
- Yes, sirie, Bub, I'm on it.
- [Mike] Frazz, get his back.
- It's got.
- [Mike] Our place is just up a ways.
- Up yonder.
(Guardian munching)
- Like gall dern rabbits, they are.
(gun booming) (Guardian screeches)
(Aldy spits)
- Thems breed faster than I can kill 'em.
- What's the deal with those things?
- They're Guardians.
- You keep calling 'em that.
What do they guard, exactly?
(soft suspenseful music)
- [Todd] Why are we
moving these things again?
- Another Naja's bright
ideas, Ma ain't too happy.
- Ma ain't ever happy about nothing.
- Watch your mouth, girl.
- Whoo wee.
Check it.
- Lookie here, freshy meat.
(door creaks and squeaks)
(tense suspenseful music)
- [Jonas] It has to be an
easier way to bring folk in.
- [Jamie] This is how we've always done it.
- Maybe it's time for a change.
(tense suspenseful music)
(Fish grunts)
(tense suspenseful music)
- Hey.
And you're moving pretty good considering.
(Fish chokes)
- Sorry.
(soft suspenseful music)
(door opens)
(door closes)
- Where's my baby girl?
I said where's my baby girl?
- She done got killed saving these folk.
- Saving them, huh?
Well, I suppose that's something.
- Ma, Jonas and Jamie went
on out there to see what's what.
- Find their bodies.
- Could someone please
tell us what's going on here?
- Well, son, it looks
like you found yourself
caught smack dab right
in the middle of an old fashioned feud.
We've been waring with these monsters
around these parts for a long time.
- Why don't you just leave?
- We ain't going nowhere!
- Damn straight.
- This is our home.
- Let's just say our clans got stuck here.
- Besides, we ain't gonna let
no goddamn overgrown weeds
run us off our land.
- [All] Yeah.
- No matter how many of
them there gets to be in?
- Yeah,
fair enough.
We don't want anything to do with all this.
So, we must be on our way.
- Wait, no sense in you leaving now,
because this is the only
safe spot 'round for miles.
- Think we'll roll the dice, man.
- Afraid we're gonna have to insist.
- It settled then.
You'll stay for supper.
Odie?
Goddamn, that girl.
Odie!
- I'm here.
- This is our girl Odie.
And she and Aldy, they're
gonna show you around the place.
- Watch out for Aldy.
She's a mean somebitch.
- When y'all come in, y'all
need to wipe your feet.
We don't allow mud tracking in Ma's house.
(door opens)
(footsteps tapping)
(people screaming) (blood squelching)
(creatures growling)
- This is Heathcliff.
He pretty much don't move.
- I like my stories.
- Who doesn't?
- I am whole formidable
and fearless, bitch.
- You guys got Tuby be on this thing?
- [Odie] Let's go.
I ain't got time for this.
- We're the ones, the one who stand up
and fight this battle with ferocity.
- Touch.
- Y'all get cleaned for supper.
I'll come fetch you after dark.
This here is my room
and you can stay there if you like.
- We're together, sweet tart.
(door closes)
(soft suspenseful music)
- Naja?
(footsteps crunching)
It's good to see you.
(tense suspenseful music)
- Gotta have our heads
examined staying here.
- Look what I got.
- You just...
- Let's just wait it out until after dark
and then we'll leave
this place in the rear view.
- What do you wanna do till then?
(soft romantic music)
- [Hurt] Solid.
(soft romantic music)
(bed squeaks)
- Keep moving.
- Where are you taking me?
- Home.
- It's almost dinner time.
We don't wanna miss it.
- What's for dinner?
(tense suspenseful music)
(cutlery clinking)
- No, I told you that salad
folk goes on the other side!
- Dumbass.
- Sorry, Ma, I forgot.
- Ma, we got them
propane tanks ready to go.
- I already told you to stop that.
We ain't gonna use 'em.
- But Naja... Naja is gone, okay?
And she ain't had no say in it anyways.
- Ma, you want me to help
Jonas and Jamie see about Naja?
- No, I need y'all all focused.
- I was just wondering.
I was just wondering.
- We're gonna whoop 'em
good tomorrow, ain't we, Ma?
- Do you understand how important this is?
- Yes, ma'am. - Yes.
- Please start acting like it.
Now would you please
go check on our visitors.
- This whole thing has been a wild ride.
You know what?
There's nobody else
I'd rather be here with.
I love you, Candy.
- I gotta take a squirt.
- [Hurt] What are you doing?
Wear your own pants.
- [Candy] Sorry.
(door opens)
(door closes)
(tense suspenseful music)
- Let's get this done.
Lickety split.
- Ma said bring two of the special chairs,
you know, for sitting purposes.
- Maybe three would be good
in case, you know, misscount.
- She said two.
- Freddy, can I tell you something?
- You could tell me anything, brother.
- I am scared.
- Is that some pansy
ass shit, like I'm scared.
- Sissy.
- I'm just funnin'.
But seriously, you think Naja's plan
would've worked out better than Ma's?
- Nah, that girl weren't bright enough
not to get herself killed.
She weren't bright enough to save us.
- Shut your mouth.
- Shit don't matter now anyways, she dead.
- Maybe we should bring
three chairs just in case.
(footsteps crunching)
(tense suspenseful music)
(Odie knocks)
(door opens)
- Candy?
Candy?
(door closes)
(drawer scrapes)
Oh.
(gun clicks)
Bingo!
(tense suspenseful music)
Ugh.
Oh whoa.
Damn girl, you scared me.
Come on, what are you doing?
Get outta here.
Come on, knock it off.
(both grunting)
- I'm supposed to fetch you for supper.
But I wanna play first.
Don't worry, I ain't
gonna hurt you that bad.
(Oldie shushing) (Hurt panting)
Wouldn't want Ma to hear.
She'd be awful sore at
me for ruining supper.
(tense suspenseful music)
(Odie growling) (tense suspenseful music)
(object slashes) (blood squirting)
(Hurt panting)
- I think Oldie is trying to
play with her food again.
But who could blame her with that one?
- It's time. - Great, I'm starving.
(tense suspenseful music)
- It all started with them, you know?
- What are you?
- We're caretakers.
The moon gives us strength.
She draws out the beast
if and when we choose.
- One's we take, we use to breed us
some new brothers and sisters.
- And once them's old
enough we'll turn them
or we'll use them to
bring in new fresh meat.
(Candy screaming)
Enough talky. (body thuds)
(footsteps tapping)
- [Mike] Where's that big fella at?
- [Aldy] I'll get him.
- [Carl] Remember what Ma said,
no one changes all the way before supper.
(footsteps tapping)
(tense suspenseful music)
(water trickling) (tense suspenseful music)
(door closes)
(door opens) (footsteps crunching)
- Hello, honey.
(gun pops) (body thuds)
(gun pops)
(gun clicks)
- I do believe you's out of bullets.
Let's see what you got.
- No, she can handle herself.
(punches thud)
(Aldy chuckles and spits)
- Shit.
(punch thuds)
(Aldy spits)
(strip squelching)
(Aldy spits)
- Don't you worry on, I
still got me one good arm
to have you with.
(Aldy grunts)
(kick thuds)
Come on, is that all you got?
(ax slashes) (blood squelches)
(both grunt) (body thuds)
Come on boy, show me what you got.
(Aldy grunts)
- Dude, get over there.
(log thuds) (blood squelches)
- Sorry.
(body thuds)
(suspenseful music)
What are you?
- Caretakers.
Since the beginning of time
we've been here in the garden.
- Are we talking like Eden?
- Welcome.
- Found one more for dinner.
- Guess we'll be needing
that third chair after all.
- We all know why we're here.
- Yay, doggy!
- Well, well.
(soft suspenseful music)
- Look at what we found.
(soft suspenseful music)
- Are you okay?
- Daughter,
I thought I lost you.
I don't know what we done without you.
You are a sight.
You better go upstairs right now
and get yourself cleaned up, now!
We don't need that dessert now, okay?
You bring that up to the kitchen
and my boys, you patrol that perimeter
and we save you some supper.
- Yes 'um.
Cold food again.
- Move, dick!
- Jamie? - Yeah.
- I want you to say Grace.
- Yes, ma'am.
Dear Lord, as we gather
around this here table
with family and others.
- You shouldn't be here.
- Brit, sit down!
- What did you do?
- Killed three of their gals.
- House full of dudes and
you killed three women?
- They just happened to be women.
- Dick.
- They attacked me.
Seriously, I got nothing against women.
I'm an ally.
- Thank you Lord for our family
and the love that unites us together.
Amen.
- [All] Amen.
- Some think we're
ghosts, haunting the land.
- Yeah, but we ain't dead.
- That's for sure.
- Boy, stop sniffing that lady's head.
Sit up straight.
(suspenseful music) (footsteps tapping)
Zenia.
- Ma.
- How could you do this?
Look at me.
How could you do this, huh?
Look at me when I'm talking to you.
- Gag her.
- That's a good bunch.
They'll make good breeders.
- Breeders?
- Pig.
- Good job, daughter.
- Good enough that I can make the turn?
You said that if... Silence, child!
I said I'll turn you when I say.
- But ma, the years are getting on
and I don't wanna die.
Ma?
- That's enough!
Do not talk anymore at this supper table.
You should be thankful
for all that you have.
All that you've been given.
- This is one freaked up family.
What's your beef with
those plant people anyway?
- Tell 'em, Ma, tell 'em the good part.
- Why not?
Many years ago there
was a boy named Chester,
a farm hand, human, who
we were grooming to turn.
He was a good boy.
He was a very good boy.
And at that time the Guardians,
they were our neighbors like.
And we were in balance.
Until one day Chester met Sylvian,
a Guardian and things changed.
- They started mixing up in ways
that the good Lord never intended.
- Mixing?
- The sex.
- They made sex.
- They changed the balance in things.
And Sylvian and Chester,
they had a bastard.
And the good Lord made a
judgment and a judgment he made.
- And so did we.
- And that's when the fighting began.
And the offenders they
had to be dealt with.
- I put old Chester down myself.
- I helped.
- And the plans didn't
have any such fortitude.
And Sylvian is still out
there looking for vengeance.
- What happened to the baby?
- [Brit] She done cursed us.
- [Zeek] Damn that bastard child.
- [Hurt] Can't you just stop fighting?
- Oh, I wish it were that simple.
- Hell, after tomorrow
it won't matter nowhere.
- What happens tomorrow?
- The sun and the moon mate.
- And eclipse.
- And during it, the
creatures that roam the night
and the monsters that rule
the day will be on equal footing.
- We aim to kill 'em all.
- Kill them all.
- [All] Kill them all!
Kill them all!
Kill them all!
Kill... Enough!
Enough, my boys.
Before we start killing them all,
let's have the main course.
Jonas?
Jonas, my boy, bring it in.
(tense suspenseful music)
(Candy screaming)
- What the hell?
(Fish sobbing)
- Dig in. - Let's eat.
(Fish crying)
(tense suspenseful music) (all growling)
- Sounds like they having
a bit of a party back there.
- Oh yeah, they are.
(all growling) (tense suspenseful music)
- Why we always get stuck on guard duty?
- Guess it's just our lot in life.
Sunshine and rainy days.
- What that mean?
- Hope they leave some for us.
- That'd be, you know, real nice.
Like finding an extra
cookie in your pocket.
- Mm-hm. - Yeah.
(Fish screaming) (tense suspenseful music)
(Candy screaming) (tense suspenseful music)
(Fish sobbing) (tense suspenseful music)
(Candy sobbing) (tense suspenseful music)
(Candy panting) (footsteps tapping)
(fist thuds)
- Do you know that human
reproduction is the miracle
that brings new life into the world.
Let's dive into this very strange
and exciting world of
human sexual reproduction.
- It's a wild and wacky process.
Full of surprises.
But hey, it's nature's way
of keeping us entertained
and perpetuating the species.
Who knew making babies
could be such an adventure.
- The male inserts his
penis into the female vagina,
semen, which contains sperm
is expelled from the penis
into the female reproduction system.
This is how babies are made.
- Together, let's embrace
education, understanding
and compassion. - You best get comfy, girl.
(Butch laughs)
- [Presenter] Knowledge empowers us
to make informed choices.
- It's okay, we're gonna get outta here.
- Where are you gonna go?
That's right.
Where?
In here,
out there,
it's all the same.
You are nothing now, but livestock.
Drink this in 'cause it's your home now.
I know you're scared.
That's okay.
Let me tell you something.
All that fear will eventually slip away.
(tense suspenseful music)
- My God, what have I done?
Oh, what have I done?
And for what?
Ma ain't never gonna turn me.
- Is that really what you want?
Do you wanna live forever?
What would anything matter then?
There are those that don't agree with Ma.
There is a better way.
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps swooshing)
- What are you doing out here, sis?
You know it's time.
- He's right.
We're ready and we're able.
- Ma won't know what hit her.
- Yeah, we got you.
- This ain't right.
- But you know she's leading
us down the wrong path.
- [Butch] It's the truth.
- Remember, taking care
of your sexual health is vital.
And an understanding of
sexually transmitted infections
are essential for a healthy future.
- You are our future.
You are our, our breeders.
(Butch laughs) - Hi, I'm Dr. Mark,
remember, taking care of
your sexual health is vital.
Regular checkups and
understanding sexually transmitted
infections are essential
for a healthy future.
- And I'm the curious teenager.
It's important for us
to receive accurate
information about reproduction.
Let's seek knowledge and reliable sources.
And remember that consent
and respect are essential in
every aspect of relationships.
No cap.
- I am the supportive friend.
Remember, everyone's journey is unique.
Some have children
while others choose not to.
Let's respect their
decisions and support them.
Unless it's to not reproduce,
then that would be just wrong.
- [Presenter] Let's embrace
seduction, understanding
and compassion when
discussing female reproduction.
Knowledge empowers us... Ma?
(Ma shushes)
Come see.
(footsteps crunching)
- Hi, I'm your friendly
neighborhood science enthusiast.
Did you know
the human reproduction,
- What are you thinking?
- [Man] It's a miracle.
- [Candy] I was just wondering
if anybody's even gonna give
a damn about us being gone.
- Yeah, plenty of people.
- You think? (both chuckle)
- Does it scare you?
- What?
- Change, does it scare you?
- Yeah, it does.
- What's this about?
- We were just talking.
- Is that it?
- We can face what lurks
in the shadows just fine.
- Do you really believe that?
- I surely do.
- We're not just going to endure.
We're gonna conquer
and we're gonna rip
these motherfuckers apart.
- Well, and if all else fails,
I'm sure you guys will talk with that.
- Let's go to work.
(creatures growling)
- Man, this can't be very sanitary.
- It's all over my hands.
- What are they doing?
- They're covering our scent.
Makes it harder for those
things out there to find us.
- At least we know they care.
- How can you just sit
there like that, man?
- Like this.
(soft melancholic music)
- What happens now?
(soft melancholic music)
- All right, my beautiful boys,
I'm looking at you all
so big and so strong,
ready to defend your home
and you make your mama proud,
'cause today is the day
we've been waiting for.
We've been hiding from them critters.
Many of us have died.
But today I ask you one thing as your mama,
one thing,
you fight these varmints
and you rip them limb
form motherfucking limb.
(all cheering)
(Guardians screeching)
(tense suspenseful music)
- Form up!
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps crunching)
Hold.
- [Woman] They're coming.
- We're gonna whoop them?
- That big monkey can't
hurt you no more, Bubba.
- Guard the barn.
Keep our flock safe.
See that none of them critters get in here.
- [Man] We got you.
- Now.
- They're gonna regret this. (indistinct)
- No matter what happens, keep on fighting.
- Kill them all. - Like weeds.
- They won't get past us.
- Fall back to the house.
- There's too many of them.
- Hold the line!
- Eat this.
(guns booming) (indistinct chatter)
(man laughs)
- Bubba. - Jonas
(gun pops)
(man laughs)
- Hang in there, Buba.
(guns booming)
(indistinct)
(guns booming)
- Take the fight to the house.
(guns continue booming) (indistinct)
- Who wants some salad? (laughs)
(guns booming)
- They just keep coming. - Hold steady.
(man screams)
- Fall back to the house. - I'm outta here.
(man screams) (guns booming)
- Not sure who we
should be rooting for here.
- Hope they all die. (woman screams)
(footsteps crunching)
(tense suspenseful music)
- [Man] They are killing all of us.
(gun booming)
(knife slashes) (Guardians chittering)
(gun booms)
(tense suspenseful music)
(gun booms)
- Oh hell no.
- Yeah.
- Go on, get.
- Get outta my way.
- Oh yeah, (indistinct).
- Hit 'em in the heart or the head.
(gun booming)
- We just gotta hold
'em a little bit longer.
- Get him.
(knife slashing)
(body thuds)
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps crunching)
- [Man] Come on, (indistinct)
- [Man] They just gonna keep
coming till we are all dead.
(Carmen screams)
- Carmen!
- [Man] They're overunning us. - Ma?
- Wait, wait, it's here.
My boys, it's here.
- Look.
(tense suspenseful music)
(Naja laughs)
(tense suspenseful music)
(bones cracking)
(tense suspenseful music)
- Here.
- We.
- Go.
(tense suspenseful music)
(blood squelching)
(tense suspenseful
music) (creatures growling)
(neck breaks)
(neck breaks)
- Yeah.
(tense suspenseful
music) (creatures growling)
(blood squelching)
(Bubba grunts) (log tapping)
- This is straight up insane.
(blood squelching)
(hammer smashes) (blood squirts)
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps crunching)
(tense suspenseful
music) (creatures growling)
(fist thuds) (blood squirts)
(tense suspenseful
music) (creatures growling)
(body thuds)
(tense suspenseful music) (man screams)
- [Man] They are tearing
me apart. (screams)
- And what do you want?
- I'm sorry.
I thought I could keep
us all together forever,
but I was wrong.
- Yeah, no shit.
- I was scared.
- Look, I don't mean to
interrupt whatever this is,
but you're gonna let us out, right?
(woman screams)
(lock clicks) (gate rattles)
- Listen, you can hate me
as much as you want to later,
but right now you need to
get you and yours outta here.
(hand slaps)
- And that's the last
time we'll ever touch.
(man screaming)
(footsteps tapping)
- Please, don't leave me.
(blood squelching)
(head thuds)
(tense suspenseful
music) (creatures growling)
- Get out fast as your feet will carry you,
head towards the tree line.
There's a creek about 200 yards.
You follow that east, it'll
take you right back to the car.
- Why are you doing this now, huh?
After everything.
- That's a good question.
- We can do better.
It's time for a change.
- Go.
(man wails and screams)
I guess this is goodbye.
- I guess, I'll see ya.
- [Heathcliff] Hey, Naja, time to go.
(tense suspenseful
music) (people screaming)
(man chocking)
- Oh shit.
(tense suspenseful music)
- Kill them all. - Candy,
good luck.
- How long will this last?
- Do I look like a meteorologist?
- I'm out here.
- Wait, she said go towards the creek.
- No, no, no!
(blood squirts)
- [Man] Man, that shit is messed up.
(blood squirts)
(bones break)
- Don't just sit there.
We got what to do.
(man screaming) (tense suspenseful music)
(bones breaking) (tense suspenseful music)
- Did you see that?
- Creek's that way, morons.
- We gotta get to the creek.
(tense suspenseful music) (bones breaking)
(man screaming)
- [Man] I'm changing, I can feel it.
(man screaming)
(Henrietta screaming) (knife slashing)
(heart thumping)
(Guardian chittering)
- Jeez, not Ma.
- Ma. - They killed Ma.
- It's time.
Let's get back to the barn.
- [Man] They tore her damn heart out.
- Right, this wall, that wall.
Make sure you get these propane tanks.
- I got it.
(liquid trickling) - [Man]
Gonna lead them back
to their own deaths.
(liquid trickling)
- Come on, come on, let's go.
They're coming up behind us.
Come on.
- Jonas?
(blood squirts)
(blood squirts)
(tense suspenseful music)
- This is how it ends.
- Mother, don't do this.
Please.
(tense suspenseful music)
(Sylvian screeches)
- Get away from them you. - No, no, no, no.
(gun booms)
(tense suspenseful music)
- [Man] Run!
(melancholic music)
(man screaming)
(footsteps crunching)
(man whimpering) (all panting)
- All right, it's clear, let's go.
(Hurt screams)
Get off!
(Hurt screams) (gun pops)
Run!
(tense suspenseful music)
(Hurt groaning)
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
- [Fish] Let me see, let me see.
- Doesn't look like it.
- [Fish] You're losing a lot of blood.
Gotta keep pressure on it, okay?
- We gotta go Daddy-o.
(woman screams)
- Yeah, we we gotta go
now if if we're gonna make it.
- How?
- Run?
- Sounds like a shit plan.
(head thuds)
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps crunching)
- We gotta close this door. - We got this.
(Guardians knocking)
- Come on, come on, you got it.
You got this.
Lock it.
- They're overrunning us,
we've gotta a skedaddle.
- It's a massacre.
- All right, we gotta get
those creatures in this barn.
Otherwise it's all for nothing.
- We got this.
- Are you sure?
(tense suspenseful music)
(Guardians knocking)
(guns booming)
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps crunching)
(blood squirts)
(melancholic music) (Guardians chittering)
(gun taps)
(melancholic music
continues) (Guardians growling)
(gun pops) (cylinders booming)
- [Man] Run, hit the woods.
(soft guitar music)
- Slow it down, turbo.
- Don't y'all move.
- Lower your weapon.
It's about time y'all leave these parts.
- Couldn't agree more.
- We have some land to secure.
Let's get to work.
- You got it, Ma.
(melancholic music) (footsteps crunching)
- And what'll happen to you?
- We'll keep fighting 'em.
- Why?
(soft melancholic music)
- I don't recall.
(soft melancholic music)
(Fish crying)
(footsteps crunching)
- All right, hold up.
We should wait for Fish.
- She can catch up.
Do you have the keys?
- Yeah, right here.
- Let's just make it to the car, man.
- All right.
(gun pops) (body thuds)
(birds chirping)
But I loved you.
- I know.
(gun pops)
(birds chirping)
(keys jingle)
- What happened to Hurt?
- He didn't make it.
Come on, let's go.
(footsteps crunching) (wind whistling)
(door whirring)
(wind whooshing)
You know, I couldn't
have done this without you.
(gun pops)
- [DJ Phoenix] This is DJ Joe
Phoenix, Jr., coming at you.
Hey, how about that eclipse this morning,
you know my Pappy, DJ
Joe Phoenix, Sr., used to say
that an eclipse brings
out the beast in you, huh?
Maybe he was right, at
least around these parts.
(soft guitar music)
(soft guitar music)
- Hi, I'm Dr. Mark, your
trusted healthcare producer.
Remember, taking care of
your sexual health is vital.
Here come the Priest
With the thorns
Tear the ground
Here come the Priest
Here comes the Priest
Here come the Priest
- It is like a little
coordinated dancer dancer
happening inside your body.
You got this sperm and
tiny Olympic swimmers
competing in the ultimate
race to reach the egg.
Meanwhile, the egg is like a VIP lounge,
sipping on a cocktail
waiting for the lucky winner.
- [Man] Some have children
where others choose not to.
Let's respect their decisions
and support them, unless
it's not who reproduce.
- Just picked up this hitchhiker.
'Cause, you know, it's raining
and seemed like a nice enough guy.
Driving along for a couple minutes
and he goes, "Aren't you
afraid I might be a serial killer?"
So, I looked over at him, I said, "No.
I mean, what are the odds of two of us
being in the same car?"
- I'm so excited for this. (laughs)
- Right on, Monique.
And if you notice out there tonight,
there's a little hanging crescent moon.
- Boom, fertilization happens
and voila, the journey
to parenthood begins.
Then she's gonna see
All the things I do for you
And think of what we had
And the hell she put me through
Always wishing I could change
The way I'm feeling
And now there's a change in my heart
Our love is gone
(soft guitar music)
You, you turn away from our love
After all the pain
And all of the tears
Now you're feeling it too
Our love is gone
Our love is gone
(soft guitar music)
(tense music)
(fire crackling)
(suspenseful music)
(tense suspenseful music)
(blood squelching)
- Help me!
- Oh my God.
(creatures growling)
(creatures growling)
Get away from me.
(creature growling) - [Woman] No!
(creatures growling) (blood squelching)
- When I close my eyes, I
always can see what's coming.
Like sixth sense.
(man screaming)
(tense music)
- You're gonna be okay, okay?
Help me.
- [Zuri] He is gone.
- I'm sorry.
(man growling) (punches thud)
- What's your name, girl?
- Zuri.
- What's that mean?
- Angry princess.
(punches thud)
Listen, I do not need your help.
- Gotcha.
(necks breaks) (body thuds)
- We gotta get the hell outta here.
- [Man] Oh, they just keep coming.
- I told you, been through
this whole building.
There's no way out.
We're locked up in here.
- Listen, there's always a way.
- Here.
Luckily I found a key.
(door opens)
(dramatic suspenseful music)
- You ever ask Zenia why she
needs such a big crew for this?
Seems like overkill to me.
And why she spell her name was a Z?
I mean, end of the alphabet.
It seems like a bad sign to me.
- I'm so sorry.
But this gonna be delicious.
(creatures growling)
- What the hell is taking them so long?
- Aren't you tired?
- What do you mean?
(soft guitar music)
- Nothing.
(people screaming)
You know this is gonna work out for us
and the best part is that no one gets hurt.
(people screaming)
- Please, please, don't.
What's in this case,
it's worth more than you
could spend in like two lifetimes.
All of you.
You don't have to do this.
Please, please just-(gun booms)
(body thuds)
- What the hell?
What part of don't hurt
anybody's you not understand?
- She was reaching.
- For what?
She didn't do a damn thing.
- Candy, Hurt, get your butts in gear.
- [Hurt] Well, let's just
grab what we came here for.
- [Candy] Do you
really think it's all that?
- Don't open it up now.
- Wasn't gonna.
(soft guitar music)
- Ew!
How do you know she doesn't have a disease
like hepatitis or whatnot?
- [Candy] Mom always
said if you don't take big risk,
you don't get big rewards.
- Oh yeah?
And where's she at now?
What, like prison.
Didn't she die in there?
- You got a little red right there.
- All right.
I'm gonna hit the head.
- Oh my God.
I cannot sit through anymore of this trash.
- A total solo eclipse is an
amazing astronomical event
where the moon passes
between the earth and the sun
blocking out the sunlight
and creating a shadow on the earth.
- Total solar eclipses are pretty rare,
but we are gonna have one
in the northern hemisphere tomorrow.
It's going to last seven
and a half minutes.
I'm so excited for this.
(tense suspenseful music)
(door opens)
- Whose blood is that?
You said no one would get hurt.
- Don't worry about it.
I took care of it.
- Hey, is everything all right here?
- Copacabana, Daddi-o.
- What's going on?
What the hell happened, Candy?
What happened, tell me.
(guns booming) (body thuds)
- How the hell was he still alive?
(trunk closes)
(upbeat guitar music)
- We need to lose the phones.
- Hey, it means you too.
- Wait, did we get it?
Somebody tell me one little thing.
Did we at least... We got it.
We got it, man.
- Oh, okay, good.
- [Steve] What's with the watch?
- It was my grandpa's.
Where are we going?
- We need to find somewhere to lay low.
Meet up with our guy
somewhere off the grid.
Luckily I know just the place.
(upbeat rock music)
- [Steve] How much further is this place?
- [Zenia] Not too far.
We really need to get there before dawn.
(upbeat rock music)
Oh, up there.
Hang a right.
- Is this right?
Is this even a road?
- Where in the wild world
of sports are we, man?
- Pull over there.
(tires crunching)
Come on, we're late.
(soft guitar music)
- Are we here?
(door closes)
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
- [Candy] Your ace forger is here?
- They'll be here, let's just get inside.
- Hey, what's the rush?
- I'm with Zenia, let's go.
I don't wanna get mixed
up in whatever state we're in.
"Chainsaw Massacre."
- Jackpot.
(wind swooshing)
(can cracks)
(Candy spits)
- Don't do that.
- Fuck you, Smokey the bear.
It's flat.
(suspenseful music)
(twigs cracking)
- Let me see the keys.
Just wanna check on our stash.
- Hey.
No need. - Whatever.
- What the hell are we doing here?
- We're on the lam.
We are getting fake passports.
Hiding out from the cops.
You know, thug shit.
- You sure your guy's coming?
- They'll be here.
- Chill, girl.
What's the rush?
- I'm gonna go take a dump.
- Hey, hold up, nobody wander off alone.
- Unless you got plumbing in there,
I'm gonna go out here.
- [Zenia] Shit!
(soft suspenseful music)
- Hey man, don't forget to wipe.
(footsteps crunching)
(soft suspenseful music)
(belt clinking)
(soft suspenseful music) (birds chirping)
- [Zenia] Hurry up!
- You can't rush a man when
it comes to certain things.
Gosh!
(wind whistling)
What the hell?
(brunches cracking)
(tense suspenseful music)
(tense suspenseful music)
- Let's just get what we
came here for and get on out.
Oh hey, you must be the forger.
We're supposed to meet someone.
- I can't help you.
Now get!
- We should go.
- Yeah, I can get behind that.
- Freak that, mama needs her passport.
- Hey! - Just let her go.
- Yo, bitch?
- You should listen to your friend.
- Oh really?
(gun booms)
(belt clinking)
- What the hell's wrong with you?
- I'm getting what I came for.
- Candy, wait! - Where's Zenia?
- Don't move.
(tense suspenseful music) (wind whistling)
- Hello?
(tense suspenseful music)
- What have you done?
(tense suspenseful music)
- There you are.
- Candy, wait. (Candy shushing)
- Hey!
- Let's just get outta here.
- What about her?
- Forget about her.
(footsteps crunching)
(wind whistling)
- Listen to me, son.
It is not safe.
We need to get... Fuck this!
- Stevie!
(tense suspenseful music)
- [Steve] Zenia?
- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
Sorry. (Naja screams and whimpers)
- She's gonna call a fuzz
as soon as we're tail lights.
- I ain't call no one.
Even if I had a phone.
(Naja pants and whimpers)
Are you a doctor?
- I was a med student.
- Oh, what are you now?
(tense suspenseful music)
- Zenia?
The hell?
(twigs cracking)
(tense suspenseful music)
(Steve screaming) (blood hissing)
- Steve?
(blood squelching)
(tense suspenseful music)
Get out of my way.
- There's nothing you can do for him now.
It is too late.
(tense suspenseful music)
(Zenia whimpers and chokes)
(shovel slashes)
- You see that head pop off?
Yeah, boy, that's how you get her done.
(blood squirts)
(Zenia pants)
- Are you okay?
- Let's blow this pop stand.
- You step outside that
door and you'll get tore apart.
- Piss on this freaking turd.
I'm gonna go find Zenia.
What the ever-loving freak is that?
(blood squelching)
- [Hurt] What the hell?
(tense suspenseful music) (bones cracking)
(gun booming) (blood squelching)
(knife slashes) (blood squelching)
- Solid. - That'll make 'em
think twice, but they won't wait long.
- [Hurt] Are you all right, Fish?
(soft suspenseful music)
- There's nothing you can do for him now.
(tense suspenseful music)
There'll be more coming.
(tense suspenseful music)
He your kin?
- He was my brother.
- Revenge ain't going to have itself.
- What in the horror
movie hell are those things?
- Guardians.
- [Hurt] Whatever!
We should make for the car.
- Y'all won't make it.
- I might.
- If we can just wait until dust.
- Are you fruitsville?
It's like 9:00 am.
- What happens when it gets dark?
(tense suspenseful music)
(creatures screeching)
- They're coming for us.
(tense suspenseful music)
(creature screeching)
- [Candy] You guys aren't
gonna believe this tapy shit.
- They're gonna kill us all. - Not me.
I'm not dying here.
(guns booming)
- Reload.
- This ain't working.
Bitch, you're crazy?
- Play time's over.
(guns booming)
Save the small arms for close quarters.
(creatures screeching)
Get ready.
(guns booming)
Y'all wanna get outta here?
- How? - Follow me.
(tense suspenseful music)
(creatures screeching)
(door scraping)
It doesn't look like much,
but this tunnel runs
about 60 yards out back
behind the tree line.
- Are you high?
(tense suspenseful music)
(water dripping) (footsteps swooshing)
(tense suspenseful music)
(gun booms)
- Pass me back the other boomer.
- Let's bounce.
(tense suspenseful music)
(gun booms) (body thuds)
(water dripping)
(gun clicks)
(gun popping) (body thuds)
That was intense. (Hurt laughs)
(water drips) (Guardians chittering)
- Go, go!
(Fish whimpers)
(tense suspenseful music)
(gun clicks and booms)
(hammer thuds)
(tense suspenseful music)
(Guardians growls) (gun clicks and booms)
(tense suspenseful music)
(woman screams)
(wind swooshing)
(Hurt grunts) (footsteps crunching)
(Hurt coughs and grunts)
- That sucked.
They must have been buried.
We gotta get outta here.
Let's go!
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps crunching)
(Guardians screeching)
(gun booms) (bodies thud)
- Y'all see that?
My aim was true.
- Boom'ed 'em, bro.
- You see your head?
Vaporized, bubba.
- Stay frosty, igits!
- What's all this?
- This here are some
fresh meat for the grinder.
- [Kurt] Y'all late.
- Better hurry, they'll just
be more of 'em coming.
(birds chirping)
(leaves rustling)
(Fish gasps and pants) - What?
This just ain't my day.
- No, that, that was what
was keeping the blood in.
And you, you gotta keep pressure on it.
- All right, that'll do.
- No, it really won't.
(footsteps swooshing)
Wait, what's-(Naja shushes)
(birds chirping)
What are you doing?
- Covers up our scent.
(tense suspenseful music) (birds chirping)
(Guardians chittering)
(gun booms)
(gun booms)
- Good shot Annie Oakley.
(footsteps crunching)
(tense suspenseful music)
- Where's Fish?
- [Hurt] She didn't make it.
- [Candy] Where the hell were you?
- We were attacked.
These boys, they saved me.
- That's enough.
Let's get a move on.
- Wait, we have to go
back to look for our sister.
- She's gone.
- You don't know that.
- [Mike] You wanna waste
your time looking for her?
- I do. - You go right ahead.
I'm getting all these folks back home.
- But I'm gonna need a tracker.
- Me, let's go.
- No, not you, Ma's
gonna want to talk to you.
- [Aldy] You heard the man.
(water trickling)
- I know how you feel.
- Do you?
(water trickling) (melancholic music)
- I lost my brother a while back.
Almost tore my family apart.
(water splashing) (melancholic music)
We are never quite the same after that.
(water splashing)
- What's happening here?
Oh, we gotta dress that.
- I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine!
(melancholic music)
We gotta go.
(melancholic music)
(water trickling) (footsteps swooshing)
(wind swooshing)
(soft suspenseful music)
(footsteps swooshing)
- Why you let that
bleeding heart go after Naja
and take our best tracker with him?
Isn't being dead a good thing?
Ma wouldn't want-
(tense suspenseful music)
- What's going on. - Hush.
(footsteps crunching)
- That's a funny looking monkey.
You know our grandpa had a monkey.
- Excuse me?
- What does that mean? - A spider monkey?
- [Frazz] He sure did.
- Yeah, that big monkey, George.
He hurt me.
He did.
He jumped up, got his
teeth right in my forehead.
Bam!
- Bubba, but we all know the story.
I'm talking right now, okay?
- Sorry.
- Our grandmama Dotty
didn't much like the beastie.
- Dottie was a mean ol' cuss.
- I'm talking here!
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps swooshing)
(twigs crackling)
Anyway.
While that was in its cage,
grandma would poke and
tease at it with her cane.
She made it mean.
Now that monkey was smart
and eventually it figured
out how to open up that cage.
And when it got out, it went berserk.
It had literally attacked
anything that moved.
- Hey, hey.
You guys ever see NOPE?
- Most days grandma was slow moving.
- And she used to walk around like this.
- Did you not understand what I said?
I'm working here.
Excuse me, as I was saying,
most days she was pretty slow,
but when that monkey got out,
she was as spry as a spring chicken
and we'd all scatter all over the place.
We'd book it upstairs
and our sweet feeble little old grandma,
you picturing it?
She would lift us up one by one
and then throw us back down
those stairs at that damn monkey
so, she could get away
and she'd run upstairs,
run up into the bathroom and lock the door.
And you know what happened then?
Whichever of us were able to get up there,
we'd be knocking on that door.
We'd be begging and pleading,
please, granny let us in.
But you know what?
She wouldn't.
And well see that?
- Stow that shit, Bubba,
ain't no one wanna see that.
- Yes, ma'am.
(tense suspenseful music) (birds chirping)
- What do you got?
(tense suspenseful music)
- [Carl] All right, you
tourists better get ready.
- When I get a signal, run.
- What's the signal? - Go!
- You heard the man. - Move!
(guns booming and clicking)
- Run, I'll hold them off.
You come on, and you come
on and you come get Daddy!
(guns booming)
- Look at 'em run.
I nailed two.
- That's two less than I got.
- I think your math is off.
- Oh, hi Mike.
- She should have never
been out here alone.
- That's the way Ma wanted it.
Check it, three sets of
tracks went off that way.
- What do people want?
- We just trying to land a helping hand.
- Where y'all folks from?
- Hey, shut up.
- I ain't never been nowhere.
- Okay.
- Hey, Zeek, watch our asses.
We gotta get these fine folks home safe.
- Yes, sirie, Bub, I'm on it.
- [Mike] Frazz, get his back.
- It's got.
- [Mike] Our place is just up a ways.
- Up yonder.
(Guardian munching)
- Like gall dern rabbits, they are.
(gun booming) (Guardian screeches)
(Aldy spits)
- Thems breed faster than I can kill 'em.
- What's the deal with those things?
- They're Guardians.
- You keep calling 'em that.
What do they guard, exactly?
(soft suspenseful music)
- [Todd] Why are we
moving these things again?
- Another Naja's bright
ideas, Ma ain't too happy.
- Ma ain't ever happy about nothing.
- Watch your mouth, girl.
- Whoo wee.
Check it.
- Lookie here, freshy meat.
(door creaks and squeaks)
(tense suspenseful music)
- [Jonas] It has to be an
easier way to bring folk in.
- [Jamie] This is how we've always done it.
- Maybe it's time for a change.
(tense suspenseful music)
(Fish grunts)
(tense suspenseful music)
- Hey.
And you're moving pretty good considering.
(Fish chokes)
- Sorry.
(soft suspenseful music)
(door opens)
(door closes)
- Where's my baby girl?
I said where's my baby girl?
- She done got killed saving these folk.
- Saving them, huh?
Well, I suppose that's something.
- Ma, Jonas and Jamie went
on out there to see what's what.
- Find their bodies.
- Could someone please
tell us what's going on here?
- Well, son, it looks
like you found yourself
caught smack dab right
in the middle of an old fashioned feud.
We've been waring with these monsters
around these parts for a long time.
- Why don't you just leave?
- We ain't going nowhere!
- Damn straight.
- This is our home.
- Let's just say our clans got stuck here.
- Besides, we ain't gonna let
no goddamn overgrown weeds
run us off our land.
- [All] Yeah.
- No matter how many of
them there gets to be in?
- Yeah,
fair enough.
We don't want anything to do with all this.
So, we must be on our way.
- Wait, no sense in you leaving now,
because this is the only
safe spot 'round for miles.
- Think we'll roll the dice, man.
- Afraid we're gonna have to insist.
- It settled then.
You'll stay for supper.
Odie?
Goddamn, that girl.
Odie!
- I'm here.
- This is our girl Odie.
And she and Aldy, they're
gonna show you around the place.
- Watch out for Aldy.
She's a mean somebitch.
- When y'all come in, y'all
need to wipe your feet.
We don't allow mud tracking in Ma's house.
(door opens)
(footsteps tapping)
(people screaming) (blood squelching)
(creatures growling)
- This is Heathcliff.
He pretty much don't move.
- I like my stories.
- Who doesn't?
- I am whole formidable
and fearless, bitch.
- You guys got Tuby be on this thing?
- [Odie] Let's go.
I ain't got time for this.
- We're the ones, the one who stand up
and fight this battle with ferocity.
- Touch.
- Y'all get cleaned for supper.
I'll come fetch you after dark.
This here is my room
and you can stay there if you like.
- We're together, sweet tart.
(door closes)
(soft suspenseful music)
- Naja?
(footsteps crunching)
It's good to see you.
(tense suspenseful music)
- Gotta have our heads
examined staying here.
- Look what I got.
- You just...
- Let's just wait it out until after dark
and then we'll leave
this place in the rear view.
- What do you wanna do till then?
(soft romantic music)
- [Hurt] Solid.
(soft romantic music)
(bed squeaks)
- Keep moving.
- Where are you taking me?
- Home.
- It's almost dinner time.
We don't wanna miss it.
- What's for dinner?
(tense suspenseful music)
(cutlery clinking)
- No, I told you that salad
folk goes on the other side!
- Dumbass.
- Sorry, Ma, I forgot.
- Ma, we got them
propane tanks ready to go.
- I already told you to stop that.
We ain't gonna use 'em.
- But Naja... Naja is gone, okay?
And she ain't had no say in it anyways.
- Ma, you want me to help
Jonas and Jamie see about Naja?
- No, I need y'all all focused.
- I was just wondering.
I was just wondering.
- We're gonna whoop 'em
good tomorrow, ain't we, Ma?
- Do you understand how important this is?
- Yes, ma'am. - Yes.
- Please start acting like it.
Now would you please
go check on our visitors.
- This whole thing has been a wild ride.
You know what?
There's nobody else
I'd rather be here with.
I love you, Candy.
- I gotta take a squirt.
- [Hurt] What are you doing?
Wear your own pants.
- [Candy] Sorry.
(door opens)
(door closes)
(tense suspenseful music)
- Let's get this done.
Lickety split.
- Ma said bring two of the special chairs,
you know, for sitting purposes.
- Maybe three would be good
in case, you know, misscount.
- She said two.
- Freddy, can I tell you something?
- You could tell me anything, brother.
- I am scared.
- Is that some pansy
ass shit, like I'm scared.
- Sissy.
- I'm just funnin'.
But seriously, you think Naja's plan
would've worked out better than Ma's?
- Nah, that girl weren't bright enough
not to get herself killed.
She weren't bright enough to save us.
- Shut your mouth.
- Shit don't matter now anyways, she dead.
- Maybe we should bring
three chairs just in case.
(footsteps crunching)
(tense suspenseful music)
(Odie knocks)
(door opens)
- Candy?
Candy?
(door closes)
(drawer scrapes)
Oh.
(gun clicks)
Bingo!
(tense suspenseful music)
Ugh.
Oh whoa.
Damn girl, you scared me.
Come on, what are you doing?
Get outta here.
Come on, knock it off.
(both grunting)
- I'm supposed to fetch you for supper.
But I wanna play first.
Don't worry, I ain't
gonna hurt you that bad.
(Oldie shushing) (Hurt panting)
Wouldn't want Ma to hear.
She'd be awful sore at
me for ruining supper.
(tense suspenseful music)
(Odie growling) (tense suspenseful music)
(object slashes) (blood squirting)
(Hurt panting)
- I think Oldie is trying to
play with her food again.
But who could blame her with that one?
- It's time. - Great, I'm starving.
(tense suspenseful music)
- It all started with them, you know?
- What are you?
- We're caretakers.
The moon gives us strength.
She draws out the beast
if and when we choose.
- One's we take, we use to breed us
some new brothers and sisters.
- And once them's old
enough we'll turn them
or we'll use them to
bring in new fresh meat.
(Candy screaming)
Enough talky. (body thuds)
(footsteps tapping)
- [Mike] Where's that big fella at?
- [Aldy] I'll get him.
- [Carl] Remember what Ma said,
no one changes all the way before supper.
(footsteps tapping)
(tense suspenseful music)
(water trickling) (tense suspenseful music)
(door closes)
(door opens) (footsteps crunching)
- Hello, honey.
(gun pops) (body thuds)
(gun pops)
(gun clicks)
- I do believe you's out of bullets.
Let's see what you got.
- No, she can handle herself.
(punches thud)
(Aldy chuckles and spits)
- Shit.
(punch thuds)
(Aldy spits)
(strip squelching)
(Aldy spits)
- Don't you worry on, I
still got me one good arm
to have you with.
(Aldy grunts)
(kick thuds)
Come on, is that all you got?
(ax slashes) (blood squelches)
(both grunt) (body thuds)
Come on boy, show me what you got.
(Aldy grunts)
- Dude, get over there.
(log thuds) (blood squelches)
- Sorry.
(body thuds)
(suspenseful music)
What are you?
- Caretakers.
Since the beginning of time
we've been here in the garden.
- Are we talking like Eden?
- Welcome.
- Found one more for dinner.
- Guess we'll be needing
that third chair after all.
- We all know why we're here.
- Yay, doggy!
- Well, well.
(soft suspenseful music)
- Look at what we found.
(soft suspenseful music)
- Are you okay?
- Daughter,
I thought I lost you.
I don't know what we done without you.
You are a sight.
You better go upstairs right now
and get yourself cleaned up, now!
We don't need that dessert now, okay?
You bring that up to the kitchen
and my boys, you patrol that perimeter
and we save you some supper.
- Yes 'um.
Cold food again.
- Move, dick!
- Jamie? - Yeah.
- I want you to say Grace.
- Yes, ma'am.
Dear Lord, as we gather
around this here table
with family and others.
- You shouldn't be here.
- Brit, sit down!
- What did you do?
- Killed three of their gals.
- House full of dudes and
you killed three women?
- They just happened to be women.
- Dick.
- They attacked me.
Seriously, I got nothing against women.
I'm an ally.
- Thank you Lord for our family
and the love that unites us together.
Amen.
- [All] Amen.
- Some think we're
ghosts, haunting the land.
- Yeah, but we ain't dead.
- That's for sure.
- Boy, stop sniffing that lady's head.
Sit up straight.
(suspenseful music) (footsteps tapping)
Zenia.
- Ma.
- How could you do this?
Look at me.
How could you do this, huh?
Look at me when I'm talking to you.
- Gag her.
- That's a good bunch.
They'll make good breeders.
- Breeders?
- Pig.
- Good job, daughter.
- Good enough that I can make the turn?
You said that if... Silence, child!
I said I'll turn you when I say.
- But ma, the years are getting on
and I don't wanna die.
Ma?
- That's enough!
Do not talk anymore at this supper table.
You should be thankful
for all that you have.
All that you've been given.
- This is one freaked up family.
What's your beef with
those plant people anyway?
- Tell 'em, Ma, tell 'em the good part.
- Why not?
Many years ago there
was a boy named Chester,
a farm hand, human, who
we were grooming to turn.
He was a good boy.
He was a very good boy.
And at that time the Guardians,
they were our neighbors like.
And we were in balance.
Until one day Chester met Sylvian,
a Guardian and things changed.
- They started mixing up in ways
that the good Lord never intended.
- Mixing?
- The sex.
- They made sex.
- They changed the balance in things.
And Sylvian and Chester,
they had a bastard.
And the good Lord made a
judgment and a judgment he made.
- And so did we.
- And that's when the fighting began.
And the offenders they
had to be dealt with.
- I put old Chester down myself.
- I helped.
- And the plans didn't
have any such fortitude.
And Sylvian is still out
there looking for vengeance.
- What happened to the baby?
- [Brit] She done cursed us.
- [Zeek] Damn that bastard child.
- [Hurt] Can't you just stop fighting?
- Oh, I wish it were that simple.
- Hell, after tomorrow
it won't matter nowhere.
- What happens tomorrow?
- The sun and the moon mate.
- And eclipse.
- And during it, the
creatures that roam the night
and the monsters that rule
the day will be on equal footing.
- We aim to kill 'em all.
- Kill them all.
- [All] Kill them all!
Kill them all!
Kill them all!
Kill... Enough!
Enough, my boys.
Before we start killing them all,
let's have the main course.
Jonas?
Jonas, my boy, bring it in.
(tense suspenseful music)
(Candy screaming)
- What the hell?
(Fish sobbing)
- Dig in. - Let's eat.
(Fish crying)
(tense suspenseful music) (all growling)
- Sounds like they having
a bit of a party back there.
- Oh yeah, they are.
(all growling) (tense suspenseful music)
- Why we always get stuck on guard duty?
- Guess it's just our lot in life.
Sunshine and rainy days.
- What that mean?
- Hope they leave some for us.
- That'd be, you know, real nice.
Like finding an extra
cookie in your pocket.
- Mm-hm. - Yeah.
(Fish screaming) (tense suspenseful music)
(Candy screaming) (tense suspenseful music)
(Fish sobbing) (tense suspenseful music)
(Candy sobbing) (tense suspenseful music)
(Candy panting) (footsteps tapping)
(fist thuds)
- Do you know that human
reproduction is the miracle
that brings new life into the world.
Let's dive into this very strange
and exciting world of
human sexual reproduction.
- It's a wild and wacky process.
Full of surprises.
But hey, it's nature's way
of keeping us entertained
and perpetuating the species.
Who knew making babies
could be such an adventure.
- The male inserts his
penis into the female vagina,
semen, which contains sperm
is expelled from the penis
into the female reproduction system.
This is how babies are made.
- Together, let's embrace
education, understanding
and compassion. - You best get comfy, girl.
(Butch laughs)
- [Presenter] Knowledge empowers us
to make informed choices.
- It's okay, we're gonna get outta here.
- Where are you gonna go?
That's right.
Where?
In here,
out there,
it's all the same.
You are nothing now, but livestock.
Drink this in 'cause it's your home now.
I know you're scared.
That's okay.
Let me tell you something.
All that fear will eventually slip away.
(tense suspenseful music)
- My God, what have I done?
Oh, what have I done?
And for what?
Ma ain't never gonna turn me.
- Is that really what you want?
Do you wanna live forever?
What would anything matter then?
There are those that don't agree with Ma.
There is a better way.
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps swooshing)
- What are you doing out here, sis?
You know it's time.
- He's right.
We're ready and we're able.
- Ma won't know what hit her.
- Yeah, we got you.
- This ain't right.
- But you know she's leading
us down the wrong path.
- [Butch] It's the truth.
- Remember, taking care
of your sexual health is vital.
And an understanding of
sexually transmitted infections
are essential for a healthy future.
- You are our future.
You are our, our breeders.
(Butch laughs) - Hi, I'm Dr. Mark,
remember, taking care of
your sexual health is vital.
Regular checkups and
understanding sexually transmitted
infections are essential
for a healthy future.
- And I'm the curious teenager.
It's important for us
to receive accurate
information about reproduction.
Let's seek knowledge and reliable sources.
And remember that consent
and respect are essential in
every aspect of relationships.
No cap.
- I am the supportive friend.
Remember, everyone's journey is unique.
Some have children
while others choose not to.
Let's respect their
decisions and support them.
Unless it's to not reproduce,
then that would be just wrong.
- [Presenter] Let's embrace
seduction, understanding
and compassion when
discussing female reproduction.
Knowledge empowers us... Ma?
(Ma shushes)
Come see.
(footsteps crunching)
- Hi, I'm your friendly
neighborhood science enthusiast.
Did you know
the human reproduction,
- What are you thinking?
- [Man] It's a miracle.
- [Candy] I was just wondering
if anybody's even gonna give
a damn about us being gone.
- Yeah, plenty of people.
- You think? (both chuckle)
- Does it scare you?
- What?
- Change, does it scare you?
- Yeah, it does.
- What's this about?
- We were just talking.
- Is that it?
- We can face what lurks
in the shadows just fine.
- Do you really believe that?
- I surely do.
- We're not just going to endure.
We're gonna conquer
and we're gonna rip
these motherfuckers apart.
- Well, and if all else fails,
I'm sure you guys will talk with that.
- Let's go to work.
(creatures growling)
- Man, this can't be very sanitary.
- It's all over my hands.
- What are they doing?
- They're covering our scent.
Makes it harder for those
things out there to find us.
- At least we know they care.
- How can you just sit
there like that, man?
- Like this.
(soft melancholic music)
- What happens now?
(soft melancholic music)
- All right, my beautiful boys,
I'm looking at you all
so big and so strong,
ready to defend your home
and you make your mama proud,
'cause today is the day
we've been waiting for.
We've been hiding from them critters.
Many of us have died.
But today I ask you one thing as your mama,
one thing,
you fight these varmints
and you rip them limb
form motherfucking limb.
(all cheering)
(Guardians screeching)
(tense suspenseful music)
- Form up!
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps crunching)
Hold.
- [Woman] They're coming.
- We're gonna whoop them?
- That big monkey can't
hurt you no more, Bubba.
- Guard the barn.
Keep our flock safe.
See that none of them critters get in here.
- [Man] We got you.
- Now.
- They're gonna regret this. (indistinct)
- No matter what happens, keep on fighting.
- Kill them all. - Like weeds.
- They won't get past us.
- Fall back to the house.
- There's too many of them.
- Hold the line!
- Eat this.
(guns booming) (indistinct chatter)
(man laughs)
- Bubba. - Jonas
(gun pops)
(man laughs)
- Hang in there, Buba.
(guns booming)
(indistinct)
(guns booming)
- Take the fight to the house.
(guns continue booming) (indistinct)
- Who wants some salad? (laughs)
(guns booming)
- They just keep coming. - Hold steady.
(man screams)
- Fall back to the house. - I'm outta here.
(man screams) (guns booming)
- Not sure who we
should be rooting for here.
- Hope they all die. (woman screams)
(footsteps crunching)
(tense suspenseful music)
- [Man] They are killing all of us.
(gun booming)
(knife slashes) (Guardians chittering)
(gun booms)
(tense suspenseful music)
(gun booms)
- Oh hell no.
- Yeah.
- Go on, get.
- Get outta my way.
- Oh yeah, (indistinct).
- Hit 'em in the heart or the head.
(gun booming)
- We just gotta hold
'em a little bit longer.
- Get him.
(knife slashing)
(body thuds)
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps crunching)
- [Man] Come on, (indistinct)
- [Man] They just gonna keep
coming till we are all dead.
(Carmen screams)
- Carmen!
- [Man] They're overunning us. - Ma?
- Wait, wait, it's here.
My boys, it's here.
- Look.
(tense suspenseful music)
(Naja laughs)
(tense suspenseful music)
(bones cracking)
(tense suspenseful music)
- Here.
- We.
- Go.
(tense suspenseful music)
(blood squelching)
(tense suspenseful
music) (creatures growling)
(neck breaks)
(neck breaks)
- Yeah.
(tense suspenseful
music) (creatures growling)
(blood squelching)
(Bubba grunts) (log tapping)
- This is straight up insane.
(blood squelching)
(hammer smashes) (blood squirts)
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps crunching)
(tense suspenseful
music) (creatures growling)
(fist thuds) (blood squirts)
(tense suspenseful
music) (creatures growling)
(body thuds)
(tense suspenseful music) (man screams)
- [Man] They are tearing
me apart. (screams)
- And what do you want?
- I'm sorry.
I thought I could keep
us all together forever,
but I was wrong.
- Yeah, no shit.
- I was scared.
- Look, I don't mean to
interrupt whatever this is,
but you're gonna let us out, right?
(woman screams)
(lock clicks) (gate rattles)
- Listen, you can hate me
as much as you want to later,
but right now you need to
get you and yours outta here.
(hand slaps)
- And that's the last
time we'll ever touch.
(man screaming)
(footsteps tapping)
- Please, don't leave me.
(blood squelching)
(head thuds)
(tense suspenseful
music) (creatures growling)
- Get out fast as your feet will carry you,
head towards the tree line.
There's a creek about 200 yards.
You follow that east, it'll
take you right back to the car.
- Why are you doing this now, huh?
After everything.
- That's a good question.
- We can do better.
It's time for a change.
- Go.
(man wails and screams)
I guess this is goodbye.
- I guess, I'll see ya.
- [Heathcliff] Hey, Naja, time to go.
(tense suspenseful
music) (people screaming)
(man chocking)
- Oh shit.
(tense suspenseful music)
- Kill them all. - Candy,
good luck.
- How long will this last?
- Do I look like a meteorologist?
- I'm out here.
- Wait, she said go towards the creek.
- No, no, no!
(blood squirts)
- [Man] Man, that shit is messed up.
(blood squirts)
(bones break)
- Don't just sit there.
We got what to do.
(man screaming) (tense suspenseful music)
(bones breaking) (tense suspenseful music)
- Did you see that?
- Creek's that way, morons.
- We gotta get to the creek.
(tense suspenseful music) (bones breaking)
(man screaming)
- [Man] I'm changing, I can feel it.
(man screaming)
(Henrietta screaming) (knife slashing)
(heart thumping)
(Guardian chittering)
- Jeez, not Ma.
- Ma. - They killed Ma.
- It's time.
Let's get back to the barn.
- [Man] They tore her damn heart out.
- Right, this wall, that wall.
Make sure you get these propane tanks.
- I got it.
(liquid trickling) - [Man]
Gonna lead them back
to their own deaths.
(liquid trickling)
- Come on, come on, let's go.
They're coming up behind us.
Come on.
- Jonas?
(blood squirts)
(blood squirts)
(tense suspenseful music)
- This is how it ends.
- Mother, don't do this.
Please.
(tense suspenseful music)
(Sylvian screeches)
- Get away from them you. - No, no, no, no.
(gun booms)
(tense suspenseful music)
- [Man] Run!
(melancholic music)
(man screaming)
(footsteps crunching)
(man whimpering) (all panting)
- All right, it's clear, let's go.
(Hurt screams)
Get off!
(Hurt screams) (gun pops)
Run!
(tense suspenseful music)
(Hurt groaning)
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
- [Fish] Let me see, let me see.
- Doesn't look like it.
- [Fish] You're losing a lot of blood.
Gotta keep pressure on it, okay?
- We gotta go Daddy-o.
(woman screams)
- Yeah, we we gotta go
now if if we're gonna make it.
- How?
- Run?
- Sounds like a shit plan.
(head thuds)
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps crunching)
- We gotta close this door. - We got this.
(Guardians knocking)
- Come on, come on, you got it.
You got this.
Lock it.
- They're overrunning us,
we've gotta a skedaddle.
- It's a massacre.
- All right, we gotta get
those creatures in this barn.
Otherwise it's all for nothing.
- We got this.
- Are you sure?
(tense suspenseful music)
(Guardians knocking)
(guns booming)
(tense suspenseful music)
(footsteps crunching)
(blood squirts)
(melancholic music) (Guardians chittering)
(gun taps)
(melancholic music
continues) (Guardians growling)
(gun pops) (cylinders booming)
- [Man] Run, hit the woods.
(soft guitar music)
- Slow it down, turbo.
- Don't y'all move.
- Lower your weapon.
It's about time y'all leave these parts.
- Couldn't agree more.
- We have some land to secure.
Let's get to work.
- You got it, Ma.
(melancholic music) (footsteps crunching)
- And what'll happen to you?
- We'll keep fighting 'em.
- Why?
(soft melancholic music)
- I don't recall.
(soft melancholic music)
(Fish crying)
(footsteps crunching)
- All right, hold up.
We should wait for Fish.
- She can catch up.
Do you have the keys?
- Yeah, right here.
- Let's just make it to the car, man.
- All right.
(gun pops) (body thuds)
(birds chirping)
But I loved you.
- I know.
(gun pops)
(birds chirping)
(keys jingle)
- What happened to Hurt?
- He didn't make it.
Come on, let's go.
(footsteps crunching) (wind whistling)
(door whirring)
(wind whooshing)
You know, I couldn't
have done this without you.
(gun pops)
- [DJ Phoenix] This is DJ Joe
Phoenix, Jr., coming at you.
Hey, how about that eclipse this morning,
you know my Pappy, DJ
Joe Phoenix, Sr., used to say
that an eclipse brings
out the beast in you, huh?
Maybe he was right, at
least around these parts.
(soft guitar music)
(soft guitar music)
- Hi, I'm Dr. Mark, your
trusted healthcare producer.
Remember, taking care of
your sexual health is vital.
Here come the Priest
With the thorns
Tear the ground
Here come the Priest
Here comes the Priest
Here come the Priest
- It is like a little
coordinated dancer dancer
happening inside your body.
You got this sperm and
tiny Olympic swimmers
competing in the ultimate
race to reach the egg.
Meanwhile, the egg is like a VIP lounge,
sipping on a cocktail
waiting for the lucky winner.
- [Man] Some have children
where others choose not to.
Let's respect their decisions
and support them, unless
it's not who reproduce.
- Just picked up this hitchhiker.
'Cause, you know, it's raining
and seemed like a nice enough guy.
Driving along for a couple minutes
and he goes, "Aren't you
afraid I might be a serial killer?"
So, I looked over at him, I said, "No.
I mean, what are the odds of two of us
being in the same car?"
- I'm so excited for this. (laughs)
- Right on, Monique.
And if you notice out there tonight,
there's a little hanging crescent moon.
- Boom, fertilization happens
and voila, the journey
to parenthood begins.
Then she's gonna see
All the things I do for you
And think of what we had
And the hell she put me through
Always wishing I could change
The way I'm feeling
And now there's a change in my heart
Our love is gone
(soft guitar music)
You, you turn away from our love
After all the pain
And all of the tears
Now you're feeling it too
Our love is gone
Our love is gone
(soft guitar music)