Bad Black (2016) Movie Script

Commandos aren't afraid to jump, you know.
But he's no Commando!
Welcome back
Yes, okay, this is VJ
Emmie right back at you
Bringing you da new movie from -
Home of the Best of Da Best Movies
See it
and believe
Kampala, Uganda
This is Swaaz
Swaaz means Schwarzenegger
in Uganda
Swaaz is a good man
His wife is in the Hospital
She's dying
He must do what he needs to do
to save her
Go on, get outta here.
He has a gun
Everyone down.
I said down.
And shut up.
You a hero?
Drop da phone.
Open, open
I said open
No, no, please no
I have a key
Ugandan key
Money, bring the money
His partner -
Buddy Spencer
Money, money, money, money
Hurry your ass up.
It's a big heist
The winner takes it all
Who are you? What are you doing?
This is Captain Alex
He's alive!
Captain Alex is alive!
He's dead
Captain Alex is sooo dead
Don't look.
Who Killed Captain Alex?
Come on, you fat bastard.
This is a bad idea
I wanna go back to school
Don't move. Wait for me.
I want to be a doctor
or a lawyer
I don't care
Shut the door.
Jump, jump, jump.
Are you crazy?
Ghetto Rally
Wakaliwood Ghetto Rally
The Police is here
Now! Jump, jump.
Like Rambo
No way, you jump
Now, go, go. Go now!
He's just a mere boy
on a Supa Tough mission
Stop the car.
Now it's time 2 see the real action
Did you enjoy Who Killed Captain Alex?
Now it's time for Bad Black
Don't let him escape.
Wakaliwood Studios, Nateete,
Uganda Where to, Boss? Shut
up and drive. Is this yours?
You have keys?! Police
I need a ride
a Supa Ride
The Ugandan Schwarzenegger
Swaaz on the run
Stop. Stop.
Supa Fire
Police on da move
He can fit the unfitables
Just watch
My bums
Behind you
Fire, fire
He's over here.
Supa Warrior
Very dangerous Swaaz
Come on.
My wife
I need to get to my wife
He's getting away
I'm too old for this shit
He's free!
Police is serious
Look ooooooooout!
He's back! Run for your life.
Sweet Jesus! Allah, save us.
More deadlier than expected
Fight for life
Fight to the death
My wife, I love my wife
Ladies and Gentlemen, the impenetrable
So incredible
Most unexpendable
Ugandan Schwarzenegger!
Welcome to Uganda
Okay, Supa Fans
In this movie
you're going to learn all about Love
and Revenge!
I love you
You have money?
Get away from my sister.
That's it. You're a dead man.
Love is hard in Wakaliga
I'll never get laid.
Here we go
Now you're going 2 see
This is life I told you scum to stay away
from my family. In Wakaliwood ghetto
Go home
Get out!
Now, it's a war
between ghetto people and uptown
Okay, I go home
Why are you idiots always fighting?
Love Story
Love of Action
Good fighters
Ghetto fighters
You're gonna give me a heart attack.
You all crazy!
Every Master with his own technique
Kill each other somewhere else.
Stop it! Go to Hell!
Non-stop deadly kicks
Get out of here. Just go away.
All that money gone.
What are we gonna do?
Supa Loss
There is no supper
Don't cry, Grandma. It'll be okay.
Come here, child.
Bring Grandma some water, child.
Later that evening
Get out of here. Go on.
Get the hell out.
Mom, you put yourself
under so much pressure.
You're too old to raise a child -
especially one that isn't ours.
Just throw her out.
We need to think of ourselves.
Look what it's doing to you.
The kid's not worth it.
The child means nothing.
She isn't family.
The street ghetto
She left home
Hey, cutie. Where you goin'?
Come here.
Help me! Help me!
Where'd she go?
She's stronger than she looks.
My Grandma was sick, and my
Uncle told her to thrown me away.
He said I was too much trouble,
and that I wasn't even family.
That's why I'm here on the streets.
Good. Now you.
My mother was making dinner,
and I dropped it on the floor.
I ran away before my step-
father could beat me.
Work on it. You.
This is the life I chose, man.
No regrets.
Listen up - the new ones
are your responsibility.
Show them what to do -
but make damn sure they
make money tomorrow.
Got it?
The street boss
He is the leader
Little Commandos -
You remember why
we're here, don't you?
Families - All families
They can break you apart
or keep you together
All families - They can break
you apart or keep you together
There is something you
have done, Dear Father
Some used to starve at home
It is so painful
Some left their homes
because of the punishments
Why do you want to
bring tears to my eyes?
They had to leave, as they
thought it can be better
It makes me want to leave,
and start my own family
Families - All families
They can break you apart
or keep you together
There is something you
have done, Dear Mother
So, you'll find them on the streets
It is so painful
not well taken care of
Families - All families
They can even struggle,
just to be earning a living
Metal scrap
You a thief!
What are you doing with this?
I'm sorry
What else did you steal?
I didn't know.
Tell the truth
Hit harder. She'll talk.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Let's burn her.
Please, no
This is none of your business.
She's just hungry.
This is someone's child.
Whose child?
Get out of here.
I see you again
I kill you
These young kids always sell aluminum
I got some good stuff. Hey. Man.
How you been?
- Same old shit. Just for a small amount of money
so they can take care of themselves
How much you want? Gimme 50,000.
Gotta weight it and see.
1.5 Kg. You see?
I'll give you 1500.
He's a good man
He was like this child, once
I'll be back with better stuff.
Understand? You sure?
You wanna eat, you have to work.
That's the way it goes around here
They beg
for da boss
If you fail to do so, you'll
suffer the consequences
What's this?
You're stealing from me.
No, a man gave it to me.
She's stealing money from us.
- That's not true.
- Shut up.
You joke with me?
You think I'm a joke?
You see this?
This a dog tag. I'll teach
you that I'm a Commando.
I can kill you right now.
Next time, you. You will die.
1 will kill you next time.
If you joke around me.
A Commando. She jokes
with a Commando. Me.
She does what she must
to survive
You can't kill me.
You're just a kid.
You cannot kill me.
I'm a Commando.
You cannot kill me.
10 Years Later
Now, you gonna meet
From New York 2 Uganda
America's Best Action Star
Alan Ssali, Masajja wa Kabaka
What is your name?
I don't understand you,
SO your name is now Betty.
America's Van Damme
Here in Uganda
because his wife kicked him!
Open your mouth.
See? That's how you do it.
Very good. Very good.
Okay, you're done.
He never asks for money.
You're very healthy. You're very fine.
The doctor has an assistant
Wesley Snipes
Yeah, that one.
It's okay. Thank you.
And we need one of these.
Later after
Long day.
Is that a dog tag?
Yeah, it's a dog tag.
Are you a Commando?
No. No, I'm not a Commando.
But, my father was a Commando.
This is his.
My mother was a Commando.
And my brother is a Commando.
My dog was a Commando.
Dog? 'Embwa'?
You have a Commando dog?
Doctor, are these sweets?
No, they're not sweets.
Nothing here is sweets.
They look like sweets.
No. No, they don't. And
they don't taste like them.
You don't like them.
You don't want them.
Clean up, and we're good.
Then we'll go home.
You're too good. You're
too strong is the problem.
Is he dead?
Wake up. Time to find a job.
Ohhh, this is Uganda, I thought he's dead.
I'm comin'.
How you doing?
Yeah, you're lookin' good.
That's for sure. Okay,
come on. Let's go home.
We got his bank statements, Black. This
Hirigi's a very rich man. Back to da Ghetto
Remember, it's 10 years later
Now all the ghetto kids are grown-ups
What about you?
They have a plan against a rich man
He likes to drink at Club 17.
He's there every afternoon.
The girl, she's now the leader
of this gang
Hirigi has a wife, Black.
And a teenage son, named Kenny.
Here's a photo.
What's with the muzungu?
That's the new doctor. He won't last.
This is easy money.
- I'm Bad Black.
- Bad Black?
I'm Ssali. Doctor Ssali.
I heard you're doing
a great job in my community.
Thank you. It's only the beginning.
May I have your contacts?
You never know -
I can be of any help.
Don't do it!
That would be amazing.
We are just beginning
and we need alot of help.
You have dog tags?
What do you think?
You see this?
This is a dog tag. I'll teach
you that I am a Commando.
Hello, dead muzungu
He's a Commando.
He must be a spy. We should
find out what he knows.
I hate Commandos.
He's Hirigi, the rich man
The Mayor has friends there,
that's the problem.
Otherwise, we could just throw
them out and take the land.
Who's the babe?
Go find out,
if you can still walk.
Watch and learn.
Kung Fu Master
of Love
You're not drinking?
I don't drink.
You don't drink? That's a first.
You mean there's
nothing here that you like?
Maybe one thing.
Please, don't hurt me. Please.
I'll kill you. Serious.
You're here alone? Who says I'm alone?
Ohhh, it's da same man.
She's seeking vengeance
I don't see you with anyone.
Ugandan women
They are beautiful
but deadly
I -I -I love you
Sorry, but I need to go.
Something came up.
No problem.
It was a pleasure meeting you.
Thanks for the help.
I'll talk to you later.
Your phone number.
There's no need. I'll see
you again, if it's meant to be.
I don't leave things to fate.
She's good
His home
His family
I think she's wonderful, Kenny.
She's the one, Mom.
And it's about time I had grandchildren.
Welcome home, sir.
What's the emergency?
We have good news.
A new maid?
She don't look like much.
This is Ken's fiancee.
What's that? And she's pregnant.
What are you saying?
They're getting married.
Is this a sick joke?
You think this is funny?
Kenny, where'd you find this whore?
She lives across town.
Be a man and say it. The ghetto?
I've known her for years.
What are my rules?
Never go across the bridge
and mess with that filth.
You got up. You want to fight me?
The other girlfriend
This is getting good
How can you let this happen?
What's the matter with you?
She wants money!
What's going on?
It's my life. I love mt fiancee,
and to Hell with you.
How can you love this roach turd?
Much less get it pregnant?
Ken, you -
I've given you my time, my love -
Ohhh, baby, it's nothing. I love you.
Go apologize to her.
That's it! Get out of here.
To hell with ghetto
Leave this house.
Are you crazy?
Why are you hitting me?
You know why.
What an asshole
Bad Black
Uganda's Best Worst Thief
Back to Alan Ssali, Muzugu Muganda
People have been waiting for you.
Doctor, what's wrong?
I met a woman.
She stole everything.
She stole my money,
she stole my passport -
but she stole my dog tags.
Your dog tags?
I went to the Police.
They're not gonna do anything.
And I don't know what to do.
You should not go to the Police.
You are a Commando.
I'm not a Commando. I'm a Doctor.
You're father was a Commando.
It is in your blood.
You are Commando.
If you can't train yourself,
I can train you.
How can you train me?
I'm a Doctor. I don't know anything.
First lesson
Get da hell outta here.
Can't you see the Doctor's sick?
He looks fine to us.
We've been here all morning.
Learn to take care of yourselves.
Your adults, aren't you?
You go
You don't have to fear.
I believe in you.
What da hell?
Are you ready?
Time 4 Action. Let's go!
What the hell, man?
Run! Run!
You have to be a Commando
You have to learn
to fight 4 yourself!
Forget your wife in America
She hates you!
That, my friend, was poo poo
For real
This is Uganda
Poo poo everywhere
You don't want to be a Commando?
Yet, your brother is a Commando
You even have -
A Commando dog
I'm a Doctor, dammit.
Just leave me alone
What's this?
Get him!
Get muzungu
Wait, wait. Wait.
Eat da white guy
Cook him alive!
He must be delicious
They're gonna kill me
Somebody help me
Idi Amin
I brought for you food.
I'm eating this. This is good.
It's "kikommando'. It's
good for Commandos.
Yes! It's good for Commandos.
I like this. This is my favorite.
This is rubbish.
You're not a civilian!
I brought for you food.
You eat kikommando
Running water.
This is water?
I have to drink this?
Da Kung Fu Master
The Karate Kid
What is this?
Some 'matoke'? Maybe some candy bars.
Are you stupid?
Push ups.
Miyagi Supa Tough
Down, down, down. Push ups.
Do it
The Ugandan Miyagi
That is two. That is two. Three.
Wesley Snipes
Good teacher
I'm going to teach you how to kick.
Now, do it.
Are you ready? Now, kick this.
Supa Master
I'm showing you. I'm showing you.
Catch. Catch.
He's trying to be a good Commando
A good soldier
That's good.
Master, I'm done
I think you are ready.
Ready to die
Hirigi's son, Kenny
Families - All families
Someone tortured?
Bad Black
What are you doing here, rich kid?
I want some drugs.
Now, he wanna try the ghetto life
Who said we have drugs?
I saw some musicians.
Not all musicians use drugs, man.
Find out why he's here.
I have an idea.
Don't involve drugs
in your problems, man.
Listen to him
It's good advice
You hearing me?
I should take it
I see this all the time -
Nothing good comes from it.
What's he want?
To get high, man.
- He got money?
- Lots.
Families - All families
Stop it. Stop it.
Think back to when we were kids.
To when we were frightened
and begging on the streets.
To when you were thrown from home.
We need to feel it.
The song needs to be
perfect for tonight's concert.
Wow, look at all the hot women.
What are you looking at?
Those two.
I bet they're twins.
Careful. You're disrespecting our boss.
But, they're hot.
Keep him high and out of sight.
Give him some Jet Fuel.
You like to fly? You're gonna
be the first Ugandan on the Moon.
I'm soaring thru the air.
Nothing can stop me.
I can do whatever I want.
Out of the way, stupid birds.
Now, it's time for Action
Wait for my signal.
Alan Ssali, Masajja wa Kabaka
Now he's Commando
Where are my dog tags?
Supa Tough
Looking for a wife?
Think you'll find one in Uganda?!
Beat muzungu! Beat him good.
This is ghetto
Hey, you fuckin' American. What
the hell you looking for here?
Owe Nkima
"Ugandan Supa Soldier'
Hey, he's winning. He's winning!
Ohhh, he's losing.
What are you looking for?
No one.
- You saying?
- Black?
Behind you. Behind you.
Supa Fighter
Long Island Kick
Jesus, they're gonna kill me
Run, muzungu
Miyagi! Come and help me, Miyagi!
This time muzungu is dead
Mama Mia
No escape
Ohhh, in the poo poo
Da poo poo
Ugandan poo poo
Miyagi, where are you?
What is it?
I can't. There's too many of them.
Are you mad?
You can do it!
It took me years to be tough.
Go. I said go.
Do it!
Go back. Go!
I'll do it
l can do it. I can do it.
Hey, it's Uncle Benon
Another dead muzungu.
Wrong movie
I have one child. A son.
Back to the Mugaga
But, I no longer consider
him family. He ruined his life.
Is it drugs?
Ghetto life has its consequences.
I'm scared of the people down there.
As soon as I buy the land,
I'll throw them all out.
But, those people can
kill their own parents.
My son is not in my life.
You have nothing to fear.
In fact, that's why
I'm looking for a new wife.
One who can give me a proper son,
and take over my inheritance.
Sir, I would be honored
to be your wife. But -
That's fast
Ohhh, Hirigi's in Love
Dumb bastard
What is it? Tell me.
Well, what if -
you first transfer your money to me, so
I can start being a good mother to our son?
Ohhh, good idea
Is that all? No problem. We
can do it tomorrow. You smart
I trust you
Really? You mean it?
Of course. We'll go to my lawyer.
I love you.
Men, we can be so stupid
All families
They can break us apart
or keep us together
All families
They can break us apart
or keep us together
There is something you
have done, Dear Husband
Why do you want to
bring tears to my eyes?
It is so painful
This is great. They're singing on the
bridge between the rich and the poor.
Both sides will get the message -
that family should bring people together.
Remember, she is the ghetto woman
This is where this woman comes from
Hirigi is sooo happy
but not for long
The Ghetto
'Richie Rich'
What are we doing here?
Welcome home, dear. Hungry? No thank
you, Grandma. Hey, it's Jajja
from beginning
Have a seat.
You gonna need it
You two know each other?
I want you to meet my boyfriend.
We're gonna get married.
Sweet Jesus, I hope you're
either drunk or asleep -
Are you a retarded goat?
What da hell is she talking about?
She's so old, she's become senile.
Is it a sin for a rich man to marry
a young, beautiful woman?
This is your own granddaughter.
She's the child of the daughter
you let die in the ghetto.
I'm pregnant.
I'll kill you! You're dead.
The grandfather?
She's marrying the grandfather?
We need to go back to my lawyer.
Bad Black is crazy!
Did they Beat the Rat?
Did they?
I'm going to vomit
What are you doing?
This now belongs to me.
You and this old hag -
you think you can steal from me?
Don't you know who I am?!
I'm a very powerful man.
That's it. I'm gonna buy this land
and throw you all in the gutter.
With what money?
Back to Muzungu Muganda, Alan Ssali
Thank God
Muzungu, how are you?
I'm fine. And how are you? Okay.
What is your name?
My name is Rachel.
Rachel, that's a beautiful name.
Where is your mother?
My Mom has gone to work.
And your Dad?
I don't have a Dad.
Do you like candy? Sweets. Yes.
Do you know her?
Yes, that is Black.
Yes, everyone knows her.
Do you know her?
ll met her, yes. I know her.
She is Black.
Take me to her.
First, give me my sweets.
Ugandan women
Thank you.
Come, come.
Ooooooh, Ssali's mad
You'll be mad, too
if you can only act in Uganda
Hirigi likes to drink at Club 17.
Watch dogs
I want my stuff back
Now, he's Commando
For real
There she is. Kill her!
Look at my car.
Please, help me
She stole everything you see.
Look at my house. It's ruined.
That's her?
Just throw her out.
She's nothing.
She's not family.
As long as she can remember
Hey, you -
Why do you cause
problems for everyone?
Now, I'm gonna throw
you from this home, too.
He came to finish her off
She finished him off
You're telling me Bad Black is
giving money away in the slums?
Yes, sir.
What kind of criminal is this?!
Why can't the Police stop him?
Bad Black is very,
very wise and street smart.
The ghetto loves and protects the gang.
They have spies everywhere.
And Bad Black always
moves with an army of thugs.
It's a huge network,
and they have alot of money.
But, that's just part of the problem.
We don't even know
what Bad Black looks like.
But, we have a plan.
A big arms deal is
goin' down in the slums.
At just the right moment -
my Kung Fu Cops will surround them.
I promise you -
We'll chop off their heads, and throw
Bad Black's corpse in prison forever.
Oooh, da poo poo
No more poo poo
Stallone should fight a crocodile. I'd
pay to see that. Excess use of Ganja
Here 2 stop Black
Predator's half Jamaican, you know.
Everyone you asked for is here.
Including the gun dealer.
Show Madame the briefcase.
A tough squad on a mission
Put the guns away. Don't worry.
Gun dealers
Gun smugglers
Tough gang
Tougher than Action
Let's talk inside.
Leave the guns here.
Watch the briefcase and weapons.
You goddamn thieves!
But, we're all thieves.
It's time to deliver
Da movie's on!
Alan Ssali in Action
He has a machine gun
Supa Warrior
Gimmie my stuff back
Is that Rambo?
Hands up.
Watch dogs!
Don't move.
Ugandan Police
Kung Fu Cop
It's the doctor. He's gone crazy!
America's Best Action Staaaaaaar!
Ugandan Cobra
meets da Panther
Supa Fighter
China in Uganda
What's wrong?
Another muzungu's gone nuts.
I knew it. I knew it.
Run for your life!
Run, run
Save me, please
It's da doctor
He's crazy!
He has a machine gun
We all dead. He's gonna kill us.
A new warrior on da block
Ugandan dance
Worst doctor ever
Alan Ssali
This doctor
needs borders
He wants Black
Where the fuck are my dog tags?
Let me explain.
Get 'em!
This is Black. This is
who you're looking for.
And I have my dog tags.
Don't fuck with Americans.
Now U gonna see Uganda's first
Women in Prison movie
You call that a massage?
See who they're bringing.
Enjoy your new girlfriend.
Suck my dick.
Look at you.
You're mine, now. Understand?
Look at these pretty clothes.
Who do you think you are?
Bad Black?
Gonna seduce my husband, too?
Come on, take it easy.
Money, gimmie money
Hurry up.
Make it my birthday.
This is alot of money.
You must really be Bad Black.
I'm gonna keep this as a souvenir.
Welcome, Bad Black.
Fan of Bad Black
I love your work.
Listen, can you teach me
to seduce rich men, like you?
They can make anyone from
the ghetto just disappear.
Why are you here?
Long story.
Kill, kill, kill
What she do?
Nothing. She just likes it here.
They brought me here
right after I gave birth.
I never even held my child.
After all these years, I don't
even know if she's alive.
My father was a very rich man.
He put me here because
of whom I loved.
She was abandoned by the family
like Bad Black
Hey, where we going?
Rescue Mission
Kenny on da Rescue Mission
All hands on deck.
Ready for take-off.
You're Schwarzenegger.
Rambo. I wanna be Rambo.
Put on your lucky coat.
I need guns.
All da guns. And ammo.
A bad man, a bad man,
a bad man, is a bad man.
Hope you like Heaven, man.
Lets do this.
You're the Ghetto Schwarzenegger.
Me am the King
Me da conqueror
Me da boss around
You're our hero. A real movie star.
Say Hello to Commando Jesus.
Rescue Mission
Who are you? Where you going?
Can't you read?
I'm telling you -
women are more dangerous than men.
You want 2 sleep?
Okay, I put to sleep
Bad Black in the house.
Bad Black?
All your problems are solved.
Get outta here. All of you.
You're free. You're free.
Go, you're free
You stay here
It's dangerous outside
What are you doing?
You're free in just two days.
I don't care. I can't go on.
Think of your daughter.
Come out and play.
I'm just getting started.
Where are you?
Let's see who's the best.
Move, move. Let's go.
She's loose
Supazilla's loose
You, there. Stop!
Prison riots
Dangerous Ugandan women
Oh, crap! He's freed all the prisoners.
Lock all the doors and exits.
Beat the Rat?
Supa Woman!
Supa Warrior
Oh, God! No!
She'll destroy Kampala.
Mortar fire
Expect da Unexpectable
He claims to be Bad Black
He's Bad Black now
I think I saw Godzilla
Avoid doors and gates.
Jump the walls if necessary.
Split into two teams and surround him.
Expect no Mercy
The situation
now goes beyond monotonous
Oh, my God!
Where'd she go?
Help me, Museveni!
Call the Military
What's he doing now?
See for yourself.
And I want '24' back on TV.
Best damn show on TV.
That's drugs talking.
That's the son of Hirigi,
the rich guy in town.
Let's play.
Let's get him. But alive.
More deadlier
He is Rambo
Van Damme
Bruce Willis
Bill Murray
Nothing can stop him
He is Schwarzenegger He is
everything, man He's Van Damme
Zoe Bell
Nothing can stop him
Poor Kenny
He has nothing
Lost girlfriends
Lost home
Kenny lost everything
My eggplants
Let's call it a draw.
What a movie!
Good thing it's over
She has done for her time, now
In light of yesterday's events -
All criminal charges against
the defendant are dismissed.
We'll now hear the case
against her as filed by Mr. Hirigi.
Mr. Hirigi accuses
the defendant of extortion
leading to the theft of
his property and assets.
Do you understand the charges?
Innocent or Guilty?
Now, we're going to learn
why Bad Black did everything
She can talk
Swaaz was her father
Swaaz was a good man
and loved in the ghetto
He loved Flavia verrrrrry much You're
my Action Hero. You're mine, too.
But, he had no money.
Is this the bastard?
How dare you touch my daughter?
Wait, I'm not done.
How can you be so stupid, Flavia?
At least I married for Love.
You wanna be poor?
Go and be poor.
But do it alone.
You'll see what interesting
lives the poor lead.
Then Flavia became dying
and pregnant
Doctor, please save my family.
Rescue Mission
Get to the Hospital!
Still a bastard
Here's the money.
Doctor, please save them.
Swaaz saved his baby
But not himself
I don't care if she's dead. She's
going to jail. And not Flavia
She's alive.
Where's Swaaz?
Those assholes killed him.
With no family, Baby Black
was brought to Jajja
A baby?! Why the
hell is this my problem?
When I learned my own
grandfather wanted to evict the slum.
I knew I had to do something.
Most of all, I wanted him to know
that the poor can't help being poor,
and no one can chose whom they love.
If my mother were alive,
she'd tell you how unfair life can be.
I'm right here.
What da hell?
How've you been?
That's Flavia?
That's her Mother?
She's alive???
I'm so confused
and I'm Ugandan!
Now, you know all about Love
in Uganda
Back to Muzungu Muganda, Alan Ssali
You look beautiful, however
not quite the nurse yet.
Put that on.
Now, she wants 2 be a Doctor
and helping children
Hirigi's wife!
My family destroyed
by my own granddaughter.
Look ooooout!
What da hell?
Muzungu really did die
I liked him